They didn’t have enough info to decide that she’s NTA?? It’s her pregnancy, she gets to choose who is invited to or after the birth.. not to mention, she tried to make them a part of the ‘process’ she invited them to parties, she offered updates and she was shut down and made to feel badly.. and her dad and step mom choose not to participate.. you don’t owe people who mistreat you peace.
Having been on Reddit? It's because of pregnancy and children being involved. The opinions online flip-flops wildly between extreme protectiveness/sympathy and extreme disdain whenever someone's talking about mothers/babies.
It seems like Paula doesn't like when all the attention is on someone. Because 90% of the time she doesn't give two flying s**** about the baby. but as soon as the baby is born she's trying to act like a good Grandma to post on the internet to get her views. It seems like she's attention hungry.
Nah, in reality she's mad because she was never the pregnant one while everyone around her does. That's why she wants to be with the kids so much when they are here but resents the mothers and calls them "not special". Because she doesn't wanna feel less special.
Yup. I used to know someone just like her, and if the attention wasn't on her or topic was being discussed that she didn't know or care anything about, she was rude, dismissive, and tried to dominate everything. I still look back on the day I cussed her out with glee
I think that Paula is jealous of the attention that pregnant women get. And obviously, she secretly wants to have a child, but was never able to find a man willing to give her a baby. I wonder why.
He is a grown man, if he cared about his daughters pregnancy he would've bothered to show her he cared. He wants praise for being a grandpa but doesn't want to be apart of their life forreal.
Yeah this father is going to likely fade out of their lives. He doesn't show up for important memories, gets upset when she pulls away. Insists he wants to be more informed/involved in her life, is indifferent to the updates then is all surprised daughter is uninterested in being the only one putting in effort. I bet his ex did all the emotional labor and just doesn't know how to be there and be present for anyone.
There's being child-free, and then there's being insufferably child-free. If you wish to be child free, that's perfectly fine, but that's no excuse to have sour attitudes towards those who want them or are expecting them.
I think her attitude is absolutely nothing to do with being child free. And absolutely everything to do with the fact that she's always wanted children but nobody would have one with her. Or maybe she's incapable. I think it also has a lot to do with the fact that she doesn't like not being the center of attention. Also, I think the stepmother wants to show that she's the most important person in the father's life. Not the daughters. Not some new baby but the wife. I don't think her being child for your not being child-free is absolutely anything to do with this.
@@LLandS18i think she also wants to play the “I’m the grandmother” card and try to be all over the baby, try to dictate everything about it and all the stuff you can think of that type of people, when she realized that she cannot drag people into doing what she wants and got called out for it then she blow up
@@cototototorra7106 I agree with you. I think that's exactly what she wants. She wants the cloak of being a grandmother. She wants to post it all over social media for attention. I think that's why she doesn't like pregnancies either cuz she's not the center of attention.
I don't think it has a correlation. I've been married for 7 years and we are child free. My husband loves kids, doesn't want them as of now. I actually don't like them, but I'm open to any possibility in a far future. However, none of us treat children, mothers, or mamas off or during the pregnancies in a bad way. On the contrary, I have a big deal of admiration for all good mamas out there (and of course, good papas too). This woman sounds like she has trauma, and instead of retrieving or defeating said traumas and using them to help others as well, she's using them to hurt other people. Example, NPD. NPD people have low self-esteem, and they thrive by putting others down and having airs of superiority. This could be the case. She could want kids and just never found a person who was willing to, or most likely, she's infertile, and it pains her. Instead of talking about it and becoming a provider of love to these children, she became sour towards the women who actually could get pregnant. It could be a mix of both or just both heavily and set the position of power as the partner of the "patriarch" of the family. She's still disgusting cause even if she had trauma, doesn't give her the right to mistreat others. Our traumas are not a free pass to misbehave or to be entitled, or go around hurting people. Just a scenario🤷🏻♀️
I can't believe people Thought she was talking about social media post 😂 I grew up with internet and immediatly knew she was talking about news to family and friends when they meet
NTA He obviously didn't care so he gets ro be the bystander he made himself out to be. Hoping you and your family are well otherwise and hope your child is happy and healthy with people who care about him!
@@XxBlueEyedxX She might be like me. I like babies and kids but hate the idea of being pregnant, and I’m not really interested in people’s pregnancies. Not to the point Paula is but I don’t respond much to pregnancy updates. I more plan what I will give the baby and do the traditional offering of extra food to the pregnant lady and avoid any unnecessary stress on the mom to be
Sounds to me like "Venus envy." She's miserable because she has no children, and OP'S father isn't interested in being a new parent again. OP was wise to avoid Paula at all costs. I hope OP'S dad now realizes that allowing that bitter cow to alienate his daughter and grandchild could have resulted in OP and the rest of the family going NC with him. Perhaps next time he'll engage his brain before putting a certain lower organ in gear.
I wonder if Paula is infertile and is just saying she doesn't want kids. Could be wrong but the baby talk, not wanting to hand it off to others, being infatuated to the point where it almost seems obsessive and her judgment of pregnant women. Wish I had more info to go on to prove my theory 😂.
OP is much nicer than me, I would've just blocked my father and never spoke to him again. This isn't a case of oh he got a girlfriend and starting acting funny, nope this is a case of oh, dad's being neglectful, distant, and very disrespectful towards me AGAIN. I would NEVER have let him touch my child until he got rid of that she-demon and got on his knees and begged for forgiveness, but that's just me. And where was the husband? I would've been unleashing unholy fury on her father and Paula
You guys. This woman had JUST GIVEN BIRTH. And yet she must downplay herself? How is CELBRATING CREATING LIFE the same as being an attention graber??? Its insane. That she downplays herself this much.. It must be hard but thats why its important to remember the firmer parts of ourselves or have good people around us who will. Sounds like she doesnt.. Also. This paula lady sounds stinted. Not really growing and cant handle conversations that are not immediately relevant to herself. Lacking empathy. Might be why even though older, Dad likes her because behaviour wise she is younger.
Nta because the parents can decide who comes over to see their baby. Also, if someone shows disinterest towards my child, then they don't get first hand information. All the extra information is more evidence to OP being NTA
If I were OP I would have "graciously" considered how much Paula and dad were whining all throughout my pregnancy, and just never invited them to any event concerning it. I wouldn't have even posted the image of my newborn publicly, and just sent the images personally to treasured friends and family. And I would probably have relished the fun of hiding the pregnancy for as long as possible... which might take a few months, tops. I recognize that this approach can be considered psychotic, but I know when I'm not wanted. I can play that game too :)
I can’t stand when ppl say “you’re ungrateful“. What is there to be grateful for? What did her do that would make her feel grateful? Wtf. She’s an adult, with her own life and family, should she be grateful he wants to talk to her, what the hell is he talking about “ungrateful” Also, the ppl on her post telling her that basically the world doesn’t revolve around her pregnancy are ridiculous. What grandparent doesn’t want to celebrate his grandchild and doesn’t want to be there when the name is revealed? I’m going to tell you, one that doesn’t care about the baby. And if you don’t care about the baby, you don’t get to demand to be told about things and demand to be around the baby.
Congrats on your baby it's understandable why you don't want either of them to know of your son's birth. Your sister needs to stay out of this decision because your father was not supportive like he should have been through your pregnancy with his 1st GC. And be careful with your baby around Paula. You have every right to feel the way you do
She's entitled to have a day not trashed by their miserable attitude, particularly when it's as important as a birth. Good for her for keeping that a positive and loving environment.
dad and paula are TA. The updates were MADE PERSONAL?!? And the dad is mad that in the past of OP not telling them things. Then for the dad to be uninterested in what OP has to say? THEN be mad he wasn’t invited to the bitch.. like what the hell????
‘But I’m your father’ but missed graduation and was uninterested in her daughter’s pregnancy? With his first grandson? MISSED the due date? You want to behave like a sperm donor and/or ATM? Then you will treated like one. They have to work through that but he is the father, there are times you need to show up dude.
NTA especially when they were being rude about you baby and the pregnancy they could’ve waited till you and the baby got home and was ready to have visitors at your home don’t let anyone family or not talking badly about you and your baby and husband you and your family don’t need negative people in your guys life and congratulations
Story one I don't think you have to bring your baby into this circus ,so don't allow her access to the grandchild i think your father if interested he should have called to check on your health he didn't deserve anything more so twll him he would have known had he bothered, your father girlfriend is truly manipulative so he can keep your distance if your father wanted access to his grandson he should have thought for himself o would not allow this stranger to baby snatch i wear a sling so that way she cannot use your son as a prop
After you tell everyone your pregnant the next update should be when you have the child, not everyone wants to hear detailed information about you still being pregnant as that information has already been received. 2 updates. #1 pregnancy #2 birth / shower You don't need 9 steps in between.
Idk if we just watched the same video but you seem to be berating OP for being excessive with her pregnancy announcements when she made it clear the only people she kept up to date beyond your recommendation is her parents, her husbands parents, and anyone who explicitly asked for more info beyond your recommendation. So I'm confused as to why you posted this comment because it doesn't apply to OP.
If it's family, the first child, and she's updating people who actually loves her, then they'll always want updates. My cousin had her first, and I wanted all the updates of her and her baby. Admit that you're a POS and you just don't care. She was updating her dad, not a family friend 🙄😒
But he previously asked her to share more with him about her life, and she did just that. Her pregnancy was one of the biggest things that were happening for 9 months, you can't really think that it's weird to share with HER FATHER not some rando that the pregnancy goes okay and like what is the sex of the baby. If he didn't want to hear it, he could simply POLITELY ask her not to share anything baby related Plus, he didn't even go to the name reveal party (chance to see his daughter and chat) and baby shower (like no congratulations at all?)
They didn’t have enough info to decide that she’s NTA?? It’s her pregnancy, she gets to choose who is invited to or after the birth.. not to mention, she tried to make them a part of the ‘process’ she invited them to parties, she offered updates and she was shut down and made to feel badly.. and her dad and step mom choose not to participate.. you don’t owe people who mistreat you peace.
You know Reddit they have to know your blood type before voting nta
I literally thought the same thing
@@Kailloumitchell AITA is notoriously anti parents and anti pregnant people. To the point that it's ridiculous.
Redditor hate children
Having been on Reddit? It's because of pregnancy and children being involved. The opinions online flip-flops wildly between extreme protectiveness/sympathy and extreme disdain whenever someone's talking about mothers/babies.
It seems like Paula doesn't like when all the attention is on someone. Because 90% of the time she doesn't give two flying s**** about the baby. but as soon as the baby is born she's trying to act like a good Grandma to post on the internet to get her views. It seems like she's attention hungry.
Nah, in reality she's mad because she was never the pregnant one while everyone around her does. That's why she wants to be with the kids so much when they are here but resents the mothers and calls them "not special". Because she doesn't wanna feel less special.
Yup. I used to know someone just like her, and if the attention wasn't on her or topic was being discussed that she didn't know or care anything about, she was rude, dismissive, and tried to dominate everything. I still look back on the day I cussed her out with glee
Yeah. While OP knows she isn't the main character in other people's lives, Paula thinks she is the main character is everyone's lives.
I think that Paula is jealous of the attention that pregnant women get. And obviously, she secretly wants to have a child, but was never able to find a man willing to give her a baby. I wonder why.
Either Willing to or she's infertile and tries to convince herself she doesn't want kids rather than can't have them
@@anastasiabonnet26998that’s exactly what I was about to comment. I think Paula needs therapy.
He is a grown man, if he cared about his daughters pregnancy he would've bothered to show her he cared. He wants praise for being a grandpa but doesn't want to be apart of their life forreal.
Yeah this father is going to likely fade out of their lives. He doesn't show up for important memories, gets upset when she pulls away. Insists he wants to be more informed/involved in her life, is indifferent to the updates then is all surprised daughter is uninterested in being the only one putting in effort. I bet his ex did all the emotional labor and just doesn't know how to be there and be present for anyone.
There's being child-free, and then there's being insufferably child-free. If you wish to be child free, that's perfectly fine, but that's no excuse to have sour attitudes towards those who want them or are expecting them.
I think her attitude is absolutely nothing to do with being child free. And absolutely everything to do with the fact that she's always wanted children but nobody would have one with her. Or maybe she's incapable. I think it also has a lot to do with the fact that she doesn't like not being the center of attention. Also, I think the stepmother wants to show that she's the most important person in the father's life. Not the daughters. Not some new baby but the wife. I don't think her being child for your not being child-free is absolutely anything to do with this.
@@LLandS18i think she also wants to play the “I’m the grandmother” card and try to be all over the baby, try to dictate everything about it and all the stuff you can think of that type of people, when she realized that she cannot drag people into doing what she wants and got called out for it then she blow up
@@cototototorra7106 I agree with you. I think that's exactly what she wants. She wants the cloak of being a grandmother. She wants to post it all over social media for attention. I think that's why she doesn't like pregnancies either cuz she's not the center of attention.
exactly. I like dogs and cats, but don't see myself owning a dog. I do have 3 cats though.
I don't think it has a correlation. I've been married for 7 years and we are child free. My husband loves kids, doesn't want them as of now. I actually don't like them, but I'm open to any possibility in a far future.
However, none of us treat children, mothers, or mamas off or during the pregnancies in a bad way. On the contrary, I have a big deal of admiration for all good mamas out there (and of course, good papas too).
This woman sounds like she has trauma, and instead of retrieving or defeating said traumas and using them to help others as well, she's using them to hurt other people.
Example, NPD. NPD people have low self-esteem, and they thrive by putting others down and having airs of superiority. This could be the case.
She could want kids and just never found a person who was willing to, or most likely, she's infertile, and it pains her. Instead of talking about it and becoming a provider of love to these children, she became sour towards the women who actually could get pregnant.
It could be a mix of both or just both heavily and set the position of power as the partner of the "patriarch" of the family.
She's still disgusting cause even if she had trauma, doesn't give her the right to mistreat others.
Our traumas are not a free pass to misbehave or to be entitled, or go around hurting people.
Just a scenario🤷🏻♀️
I can't believe people Thought she was talking about social media post 😂 I grew up with internet and immediatly knew she was talking about news to family and friends when they meet
NTA He obviously didn't care so he gets ro be the bystander he made himself out to be. Hoping you and your family are well otherwise and hope your child is happy and healthy with people who care about him!
I think Paula is infertile. Loves babies, but “hates” pregnancy
Either that or she had a couple miscarriages, but neither excuses the behavior. Straight up abhorrent
I think she wants a baby but because OP's dad is so sure about not having anymore kids, she buries this deeeeeep down
@@XxBlueEyedxX She might be like me. I like babies and kids but hate the idea of being pregnant, and I’m not really interested in people’s pregnancies. Not to the point Paula is but I don’t respond much to pregnancy updates. I more plan what I will give the baby and do the traditional offering of extra food to the pregnant lady and avoid any unnecessary stress on the mom to be
Sounds to me like "Venus envy." She's miserable because she has no children, and OP'S father isn't interested in being a new parent again. OP was wise to avoid Paula at all costs. I hope OP'S dad now realizes that allowing that bitter cow to alienate his daughter and grandchild could have resulted in OP and the rest of the family going NC with him. Perhaps next time he'll engage his brain before putting a certain lower organ in gear.
I wonder if Paula is infertile and is just saying she doesn't want kids. Could be wrong but the baby talk, not wanting to hand it off to others, being infatuated to the point where it almost seems obsessive and her judgment of pregnant women. Wish I had more info to go on to prove my theory 😂.
That’s a possibility but still doesn’t excuse her behaviors especially at 30+ years old.
OP is much nicer than me, I would've just blocked my father and never spoke to him again. This isn't a case of oh he got a girlfriend and starting acting funny, nope this is a case of oh, dad's being neglectful, distant, and very disrespectful towards me AGAIN. I would NEVER have let him touch my child until he got rid of that she-demon and got on his knees and begged for forgiveness, but that's just me. And where was the husband? I would've been unleashing unholy fury on her father and Paula
You guys. This woman had JUST GIVEN BIRTH.
And yet she must downplay herself?
How is CELBRATING CREATING LIFE
the same as being an attention graber???
Its insane.
That she downplays herself this much..
It must be hard but thats why its important to remember the firmer parts of ourselves or have good people around us who will. Sounds like she doesnt..
Also. This paula lady sounds stinted.
Not really growing and cant handle conversations that are not immediately relevant to herself. Lacking empathy.
Might be why even though older, Dad likes her because behaviour wise she is younger.
Nta because the parents can decide who comes over to see their baby. Also, if someone shows disinterest towards my child, then they don't get first hand information.
All the extra information is more evidence to OP being NTA
If I were OP I would have "graciously" considered how much Paula and dad were whining all throughout my pregnancy, and just never invited them to any event concerning it. I wouldn't have even posted the image of my newborn publicly, and just sent the images personally to treasured friends and family. And I would probably have relished the fun of hiding the pregnancy for as long as possible... which might take a few months, tops. I recognize that this approach can be considered psychotic, but I know when I'm not wanted. I can play that game too :)
I can’t stand when ppl say “you’re ungrateful“. What is there to be grateful for? What did her do that would make her feel grateful? Wtf. She’s an adult, with her own life and family, should she be grateful he wants to talk to her, what the hell is he talking about “ungrateful”
Also, the ppl on her post telling her that basically the world doesn’t revolve around her pregnancy are ridiculous. What grandparent doesn’t want to celebrate his grandchild and doesn’t want to be there when the name is revealed? I’m going to tell you, one that doesn’t care about the baby. And if you don’t care about the baby, you don’t get to demand to be told about things and demand to be around the baby.
Paula has major abadonment issues..even regressing to speaking like a child. Father is getting older & fears being left alone ...
I didn’t need any of this extra info to support that OP is NTA.
Congrats on your baby it's understandable why you don't want either of them to know of your son's birth. Your sister needs to stay out of this decision because your father was not supportive like he should have been through your pregnancy with his 1st GC. And be careful with your baby around Paula. You have every right to feel the way you do
NTA. He made it clear how uninteresting he found the baby.
She's entitled to have a day not trashed by their miserable attitude, particularly when it's as important as a birth. Good for her for keeping that a positive and loving environment.
dad and paula are TA.
The updates were MADE PERSONAL?!? And the dad is mad that in the past of OP not telling them things.
Then for the dad to be uninterested in what OP has to say? THEN be mad he wasn’t invited to the bitch.. like what the hell????
Father is an AH... Paula is a super dumper dumpster fire AH... so... OP not the AH
I think Paula has had infertility problems and that her Dad is trying not to make her upset.
NTA
Bro I love wen they go back and answer comments in a another video 😂
Born on Halloween? Best birthday date ever!!!! ❤❤❤
I am so glad Sperm Donor and Paula got called out and he's on thin ice with OP.
Even without the extra info
Nta 100%%
‘But I’m your father’ but missed graduation and was uninterested in her daughter’s pregnancy? With his first grandson? MISSED the due date?
You want to behave like a sperm donor and/or ATM? Then you will treated like one.
They have to work through that but he is the father, there are times you need to show up dude.
Nta! And when asked y she hadn’t said anything…. It’s not that big a deal… right?!
NTA especially when they were being rude about you baby and the pregnancy they could’ve waited till you and the baby got home and was ready to have visitors at your home don’t let anyone family or not talking badly about you and your baby and husband you and your family don’t need negative people in your guys life and congratulations
Sounds like she herself on some level wants a baby, and is just taking that jealousy out on other women.
Story one
I don't think you have to bring your baby into this circus ,so don't allow her access to the grandchild i think your father if interested he should have called to check on your health he didn't deserve anything more so twll him he would have known had he bothered, your father girlfriend is truly manipulative so he can keep your distance if your father wanted access to his grandson he should have thought for himself o would not allow this stranger to baby snatch i wear a sling so that way she cannot use your son as a prop
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
After you tell everyone your pregnant the next update should be when you have the child, not everyone wants to hear detailed information about you still being pregnant as that information has already been received.
2 updates.
#1 pregnancy
#2 birth / shower
You don't need 9 steps in between.
Idk if we just watched the same video but you seem to be berating OP for being excessive with her pregnancy announcements when she made it clear the only people she kept up to date beyond your recommendation is her parents, her husbands parents, and anyone who explicitly asked for more info beyond your recommendation. So I'm confused as to why you posted this comment because it doesn't apply to OP.
everyone’s different. people can update people if they want to
In 9 months she talks with people, spends time with people, giving that information is Inevitable
If it's family, the first child, and she's updating people who actually loves her, then they'll always want updates.
My cousin had her first, and I wanted all the updates of her and her baby.
Admit that you're a POS and you just don't care. She was updating her dad, not a family friend 🙄😒
But he previously asked her to share more with him about her life, and she did just that. Her pregnancy was one of the biggest things that were happening for 9 months, you can't really think that it's weird to share with HER FATHER not some rando that the pregnancy goes okay and like what is the sex of the baby. If he didn't want to hear it, he could simply POLITELY ask her not to share anything baby related
Plus, he didn't even go to the name reveal party (chance to see his daughter and chat) and baby shower (like no congratulations at all?)