My niece had a different situation: boyfriend took her house hunting with him to get her input then he bought the house by himself... And proposed to her a few months later and then added her to the title when they married. That was 15 plus years ago and they are still together.
I would not enter into any legal contracts with a romantic partner unless I was married. If I had to sign documents in preparation for a wedding/getting married, I would do that as close to the wedding date as possible and keep those obligations to a minimum. There are lots of reasons that this makes sense for me. It’s too easy for people to walk away if there is no legal marriage involved. At least in a divorce, assets and obligations are laid out and a plan is determined about how the assets will be used/divided and obligations taken care of.
This is what my husband did and we are both on the title. He wanted to show me he will be an amazing provider and when he took me hunting he asked me : "Could you see yourself living here with me?" That's how I knew he was getting serious. I also told him though that if our goal wasn't marriage I was going to move on. He proposed a few months later and said he was always headed in that direction. Actions! 💗
@@deesee6009 Yes and no. Yes, in that getting married doesn't prevent you from ending up in this situation. But a big NO is that being married to someone gives you more recourse in the event of a split up. Plus marriage automatically grants you (and your spouse) benefits that unmarried couples have to actually do a bunch of work to get (and some of them aren't even available). Whenever DR or someone says, don't buy a house or join any other assets without being married, it's always relating to what options you have when the relationship ends. For married people, the process for untangling assets is streamlined (divorce). For unmarried couples... welp, not as much.
I know someone who bought a house with her "fiance". I tried to warn her against doing it but she went through with it. They are no longer together and she is stuck.
This comment is stupid. If it were her fiace or husband or boyfriend it still would be the same outcome. Marriage does not change anything, same connection just different titles. Smh
Oh I co-signed on a car for a friend. Biggest mistake of my life. Glad it’s done and over but I will never help another person in this fashion again! PS, as you can imagine, we are no longer friends
I have one rule when it comes to co-signing. I only co-sign for my spouse and children. For my children it’s for the first car only. You have to do whatever feels comfortable for you and I would be comfortable picking up the expense if it was needed.
@@alextogo8367 Agreed. Look at the people that asked for your help. Almost always they defaulted on their loans or lease. My kids don’t have to ask. I will help them get that first car. It just needs to be a reasonable cost and reliable. No “friends” driving it either and we will have the talk about responsibility.
I don't need anyone either to buy a home. But if I bought it , I would need to prove that all the funds were owned prior to marriage. Otherwise co-mingled money in a Community property State would make my wife a co-owner.
I couldn't agree more. My husband and I got married prior to moving in with each other and now we have a home. You save yourself a lot of headache and heartache.
@@MicheleNichols2 that sounds nice in theory... there are folks out here with more divorces than I've had marriages. Marriage in 2021 is just a high stakes relationship.... there are no protections for men in marriage. Women get 100% of the benefits and a severance package when then feel like bailing out... there was a woman who called Dave trying to figure out how to pay bills because her current husband has to pay allomony for the rest of his life to his exwife and they only make 50k house hold income but pay 2500 a month in allomony... that's insane
It can be-living together is like a test drive to see if you can put up with someone day-to-day. Unfortunately, the end result is a lot of time you decide that you don't want to sign the papers.
@@elliotjames1273 The types of people who are more likely to live together before marriage are people that will also leave it when they are unhappy in the marriage. I feel bad for the people that follow the old toxic culture of once you get married, you have to stay in that relationship even if you are not happy. The type of people that follow this culture are the same ones that follow the culture of getting married first before moving in.
Tell her to sell and leave and move with someone else till he makes up his mind. Thing is some people think that by moving in with someone that someone will decided “oh ok now we should get married.” That choice should be made before you move in together
Our new neighbors just bought a house and are living together, not married. Making the largest financial commitment in your life, with no real personal commitment. Now that is a bad decision in my opinion.
@@lovelytea5764 Problem is you can't just sell your half. You have to find that one person that wants to be a co-owner in a property with your ex that even you can't stand! Talk about finding a unicorn!
To be honest I also bought a house with someone I am not married too. However, we have all the legal documents in place including all insurances and our testimonies. So even though we are not married, we are bound by several contracts and are insured for several scenario's from death to handicap to a break-up. It's not that we don't want to marry, but a house came up for sale that was a great deal. We will get married in in a while though. It all depends on what you grew up with. Most people I know aren't married but do live together or own homes together. In the Netherlands marriage really isn't that big of a thing anymore as not many people are religious.
My head has wanted to explode when I heard of someone that bought a house with significant other/fiance and share a banking account! Oh heck no! I hope it ends well...but too close for comfort.
People think that marriage is some sort of symbolic union and it doesn’t really matter. Marriage is a LEGAL CONTRACT it outlines the terms of your finances moving forward. It protects you from ending up without anything if your partner is the sole provider. It gives you RIGHTS. There’s a reason for it and if you’re ready to buy a house together but not tie the knot you need to really sit down and think about whether that’s a good idea or not.
Bad advice by caller: "just make sure this is somebody you are going to spend the rest of your life with". Well, that's what she initially was sure of when she bought that house with him.
She wasn't necessarily sure she'd be spending the rest of her life with him. I know a lot of unmarried people that bought a house together, knowing there is a real possibility the relationship could end and it made everything so much simpler
@@ranip7644 I’ve heard that said by so many divorced people it isn’t funny. That’s even said before second marriage. Marriages usually always start out wonderful.
@@kindasoupie That is a false interpretation of Mosaic law. And as Christians, we believe Jesus Christ fulfilled the Law who only commanded that we love one another. Galatians 5:14
A friend of mine and her bf just purchased a very large home together. While they seem very much in love, I just couldn’t understand why they didn’t get married first to solidify their commitment to each other before committing financially 🤷🏾♀️.
Surely you mean to their spouses and children? Even if the kids names aren't on the documents, they benefit by having a stable home. No kids? Then it's highly unlikely that the judge would split the marital assets in half.
Yes! I kept waiting for a “her” or “him” to be dropped. Also, congrats to both the caller & her ex for making bank on the sell of the house! Breakups are a witch, but divorces are worse. Other than answering her basic question, NO other drama was needed to be dug up, Dave💁🏼♀️ The girl dun good.
I'd like to know how this is any different than getting a divorce. You're still going to have to divide your assets. I thought this video would explain that.
I am proud of you for getting out of the relationship with your fiancé. It wasn’t meant to be. Trust me. I married a guy that I knew wasn’t perfect & it lasted 6 months. I wasn’t brave enough to leave. You are smart. ❤
From observation it seems like it was cheaper and quicker to be unmarried in this situation... and she made money.... If she was married and divorced that's possibly years in court ( lawyer fees and extra trauma
Or they could file for divorce themselves. My divorce cost me $300 in filing fees and parent education classes total. Total divorce time with custody of our six year old was less than a year which is lightning fast based on the courts docket.
I took a huge risk. We were together 7 years. engaged for a year. Purchased a home together, immediately got married 6 months after. People asked me why we rushed it after buying a house. I told them I dont beleive in buying a home with someone you aren't married to. Nothing but bad luck comes with it. I had friends who did that and it was a messy process. I never wanted to end up like them
I bought a house in 2020 with my then girlfriend. Timing is what prompted us to buy the house together. Luckily we did at that time because shortly after, the market in that area shot to the moon. We would not be able to afford to purchase that house today. We've since married so, I guess you can say we did it backwards but it worked out for us.
Yep. The rare exception is not the formula for success for most people. The boyfriend/girlfriend breakup rate is astronomically higher than the husband/wife breakup rate. Dave still gave good advice
So what exactly are the pros and cons of buying a house unmarried vs married? Because it seems that if you are married or unmarried and you decide to sell the house the transaction and everything is still the same.
I disagree. Marriages fall apart just like relationships. Certain situations can create less of a headache in separation, however, there are instances where it's worse if you're married.
I think part of the equation is that she was only 21 when she and her ex-fiancé bought the house - MUCH too young. I see 17 year old girls walking around with engagement rings on their finger - utterly ridiculous - they’re barely out of school !! So many young women just want ‘a guy’ rather than waiting for ‘THE guy’.
She made out better because she wasn't married. Divorce would have tied up her finances possibly for years and if she made the most income in the relationship she may have had to pay alimony. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. She should buy her own house from here on out.
@@bryanhempel4764 There's nothing sad about it. Why should men have to pay alimony? If women want equality, they should be all for it. The best choice is not to get married at all. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I bought my first house with my guy when we were not married. Common law is the same in law as marriage when it comes to property. I was 29 and he was 23. It can work out. Married now almost 19 years. (23 years together). I get the warning about not buying a house when not married but nobody knows if it is going to work out or not. If engaged, they certainly thought it was going to be long term.
Well at least where I live it definately is NOT THE SAME LEGAL SITATUION if you're not married. There are different options but non of them would give you the same rights and responsibilities in Switzerland if you want to huy with someone who is not your husband / wife
Serious question, what is the difference of breaking up while married or breaking up not married? How does getting a divorce easier than splitting and going your separate ways?
If you’re the only person who signed that mortgage but you split the cost, they can pick up and leave and the whole payment is your responsibility because you are not legally married. Also, if they pass away you will own the house with their parents which is not ideal.
@@arron2lucas half of the assets obtained while married vs living together. I knew of a couple who weren't married bought a house together, then one of them got mad and turned around and married someone else. That took years to untangle that and sell that home.
I feel like if she was married it would've been worse. They just sold their property and split it evenly. If they divorced they would have to split assets like cash, home, cars. And they would have to spend money on legal fees.
The only difference is how complicated things become involving the state,once the person makes up their mind they don’t want to be married anymore it’s over. I’m sure majority knows who benefits from divorce.
Marriage has nothing to do with buying a house together. Many men have male business partners and they purchase rental property. The mistake people make is you have to have the proper papers drawn up and make it a business arrangement and not a lover's arrangement. Basically, Dave is saying to women marry the man, and then when you split up you get the whole house and he gets the mortgage.
Absolutely. Business transactions take place all the time. However when matters of the heart go sour everything else can be very difficult and unreasonable. Even with regular business partners it can be messy then add a jilted and bitter ex. That's a disaster.
This girl is smart and Dave and John are short changing her. I don't think she is going to be tempted at all to spend it on frivolous things. She sounds very laid back and doesn't sound like a spender at all.
Yeah, she bought a house with someone she’s not married too and then calls to ask how not to spend money. That sound smart? Doesn’t sound like someone that saves more than she spends. People that aren’t spenders don’t worry about blowing what they have.
My aunt lived with a man for ten years - the end of her childbearing years - and they bought a posh new condo together. They broke up. She bought him out somehow. He married a younger woman, bought a real house, and had three kids.
I agree with Dave but in all due respect, I would go further: Do not buy a house with a spouse unless a prenup addressing these situations is in force.
This! My boyfriend and I are coming up with an agreement in case we break up or anything. He gets the house if we break up. We discussed it already lol. You should always plan for the what ifs
Also wedding businesses like planners, flowers, cakes,rental space,courthouse fees,etc.. And landlords.... When I did jury duty there were tons of posted available rental apartments,condos,and houses on the information bulletin board near the divorce/child support courtroom areas.
I think the entire premise of DR perspective is that marriage comes with a better chance of the relationship lasting a lifetime. I'm not sure that's entirely true and holding to that belief creates other complications. Dealing with a house in any relationship is certainly easier if that relationship lasts a lifetime but marital status really has nothing to do with it as much as each spouses' actual commitment to the relationship.
That settles it, I am not getting a house with someone, if they have the house I will help with the mortgage and if I have the house, she can help me with the mortgage.
Who ever owns the house has the mortgage, and is responsible for maintenance, insurance etc. The other person is a renter or boarder, and shouldn't take on ownership responsibilities. If the owner wants the other person to take on more responsibilities, then they need to be on the loan.
@@mossgeorge2001 depends... The issue with not being a home owner but acting like one is the investment. Personally I think it needs to be balanced between being a couple who make collective decisions & how rights & responsibilities of the owner/tenant stack up without it being a power struggle. People also need to understand what the laws in their locality is as many don't distinguish between the mortgage holder & the non-mortgage holder if they're a couple living together. So the person not on the mortgage has legal rights to the property if they choose to pursue legal action.
Marriage is life insurance for you spouse, Non-Marriage is your legal roommate. Definitely something to think about if this person lies and disappear alot.
I think it's smarter to buy a house with someone you're not married with, than buying a house to someone you are married with. I hear a lot more horror stories with people splitting up while married.
Until the other person runs off and gets married to someone else. I've seen that happen. It took a few years to sell that house. Marriage actually has financial protection vs just living together.
She says the 20k is the most she’s ever seen which means he probably put up the deposit. That means in her case she’s profited off this deal in the end
Though I did buy a house with someone who I was engaged to, I had to sell and lost money. It would have been worse if we got married. Don't buy a house if you aren't secure with the person. A marriage doesn't mean it will certainly succeed.
The point is that legally it is very clear how the asset division takes place. Not so clear when people shack up and it leaves one party open to financial ruin.
I have a house with my girlfriend. I don’t see the problem. Married people can break up too.. she just happened to break up before signing a piece of paper.
People get divorced in droves.... divorce rates are at like 50% of all marriages so it honestly doesn't make a difference anymore the partner is still gonna get half of everything married or not. Marriage might help with commitment and legal document aspect but not by much. I've known people in many of these scenarios my uncle wasn't married and owed 100k to his ex if he stayed in his house, which he did stay and got another GF a few months later. I've know couples that separated peacefully while co-owning a house with little complications. I've seen divorces where they also had to buy out their partner to keep the house. It doesn't even matter to be honest it all ends the same if it goes sour.
Not really. My girlfriend and I don’t commingle assets. She has her own money, paid off homes,assets,career,etc. snd I have mine. We don’t need each other financially. No kids. No issues.
Getting married can always end in divorce and if both names are on thre house, then it has to be split. Married or not. If not married and you bought the house, keep partners name off the house.
If they were married, it’s much harder. Whoever the guy is should consider himself very lucky because he got to walk away with half the funds. If they were married, she would have dragged this along in hopes of getting the home entirely. She was happy to leave the relationship but she was mad she didn’t get all the money from the sale of the home. Free agent lifestyle is much better.
I always wonder home much of this is old school thinking. In my country the common-law designation brings the same rights/responsibilities as marriage. So if things go south it's the same either way. I guess the advice is that you want to be sure someone is thinking long-term with you but you can have those conversations without marriage and marriage isn't a guarantee because people lie about there intentions and feelings all the time anyway🤷♂️
I'm confused, if she were married and got a divorce, it would have been split in half anyways and she still would have been in the same position with the same amount of cash profit right?
To be fair when I see solicitors in the UK advertising divorces from the equivalent of 500 dollars I struggle to see why people place such a value on marriage
Married couples have everything spelled out by state law in the US. An unmarried couple will have a real mess to clean up if they own a house together, then split. This lady got off easy.
My niece had a different situation: boyfriend took her house hunting with him to get her input then he bought the house by himself... And proposed to her a few months later and then added her to the title when they married. That was 15 plus years ago and they are still together.
That's lovely
That is the way you do it.
I would not enter into any legal contracts with a romantic partner unless I was married. If I had to sign documents in preparation for a wedding/getting married, I would do that as close to the wedding date as possible and keep those obligations to a minimum. There are lots of reasons that this makes sense for me. It’s too easy for people to walk away if there is no legal marriage involved. At least in a divorce, assets and obligations are laid out and a plan is determined about how the assets will be used/divided and obligations taken care of.
Nice.
This is what my husband did and we are both on the title. He wanted to show me he will be an amazing provider and when he took me hunting he asked me : "Could you see yourself living here with me?" That's how I knew he was getting serious. I also told him though that if our goal wasn't marriage I was going to move on. He proposed a few months later and said he was always headed in that direction. Actions! 💗
LOL! That perfectly matched head throwback at 1:30 😂😂
IM DYING 🤣
If you aren’t committed enough to marry that person, you probably aren’t committed enough to buy a house with that person. Sad.
How many fools have babies, buy houses with someone they aren't married to.
Unreal!
Plenty of people who regret being legally 'committed' to someone when it's time to split. Having a wedding ceremony is zero security.
@@deesee6009 Yes and no. Yes, in that getting married doesn't prevent you from ending up in this situation. But a big NO is that being married to someone gives you more recourse in the event of a split up.
Plus marriage automatically grants you (and your spouse) benefits that unmarried couples have to actually do a bunch of work to get (and some of them aren't even available).
Whenever DR or someone says, don't buy a house or join any other assets without being married, it's always relating to what options you have when the relationship ends. For married people, the process for untangling assets is streamlined (divorce). For unmarried couples... welp, not as much.
Really.
Sadly common sense is never common
Wonder how many ppl watching are telling themselves “well that’s not going to happen to me”
Basically everyone
Definitely not me. That would be like adding more bad luck to what I already have. I can not afford that kind of mistake.
I'm watching this because someone I know is trying to do this lol
I plan on buying a house well before getting engaged or married, with only my name on the title.
"cuz I'm married"
This is why when I was in a relationship and not married I maintained my own house and never bought anything like property or vehicles with anyone.
Thats exactly how I did it. I love my own stuff, even tho I'm with someone.
Very good advise, Mr. Parks!
I made the mistake of getting a car for someone (a girlfriend) in my name. Never again!
I know someone who bought a house with her "fiance". I tried to warn her against doing it but she went through with it. They are no longer together and she is stuck.
If they were married they would have to pay a divorce so luckily for them they weren't married
@@albertoskytwins3527 True lol
How is she stuck?
This comment is stupid. If it were her fiace or husband or boyfriend it still would be the same outcome. Marriage does not change anything, same connection just different titles. Smh
@@waynemiller6070 he was helping pay and his name was not on the mortgage.
She has such a sweet voice. I wish her well~
Oh I co-signed on a car for a friend. Biggest mistake of my life. Glad it’s done and over but I will never help another person in this fashion again! PS, as you can imagine, we are no longer friends
I have one rule when it comes to co-signing. I only co-sign for my spouse and children. For my children it’s for the first car only. You have to do whatever feels comfortable for you and I would be comfortable picking up the expense if it was needed.
Yeah you never cosign anything. Kids only exception. Never do money favors for family either. It's for the better.
@@alextogo8367 Agreed. Look at the people that asked for your help. Almost always they defaulted on their loans or lease. My kids don’t have to ask. I will help them get that first car. It just needs to be a reasonable cost and reliable. No “friends” driving it either and we will have the talk about responsibility.
@@alextogo8367 Yup, lesson learned!
I co-signed for my father’s car and I ended up paying $20k after the car was repossessed. Never co-sign for anyone.
Never needed to buy a home with anyone.
I just looked for one and bought it for myself.
Agreed - people are happier when they're independent. They don't hear incessant nagging about who bought what.
How did you do it ?
@Derek Kotter 🤔 hmmm never thought about it that way.
I don't need anyone either to buy a home.
But if I bought it , I would need to prove that all the funds
were owned prior to marriage.
Otherwise co-mingled money in a Community property State
would make my wife a co-owner.
Smart 👍
At least she got money out of it & didn’t take a loss..... split the house and went their ways...
Yeah honestly I don't see what the problem here was. It would be far worse if they were married and then split up.
@@pdxshredder6883 Truth! And they saved the cost of the wedding AND the divorce. Whatever perceived 'problem' there was is overblown by DR.
@@pdxshredder6883 Facts, whole video is clickbait with no repercussions mentioned.
@@pdxshredder6883 agreed, nobody had to lose half their net worth. If anything this proves it's better not to get married.
@@pdxshredder6883 yup,,,
I couldn't agree more. My husband and I got married prior to moving in with each other and now we have a home. You save yourself a lot of headache and heartache.
She got blessed and got out of it without too much of a hassle
W...H...A...T...S...A...P...P
+...1...4...0,,,5...4,,,0...0,,,2...2,,,2...8
Thats probably what the guy is telling himself. Everyone wants to take the females side and just assume she was in the right.
Wouldn't there be more hassle if they were married getting divorced?
@@MicheleNichols2 that sounds nice in theory... there are folks out here with more divorces than I've had marriages. Marriage in 2021 is just a high stakes relationship.... there are no protections for men in marriage. Women get 100% of the benefits and a severance package when then feel like bailing out... there was a woman who called Dave trying to figure out how to pay bills because her current husband has to pay allomony for the rest of his life to his exwife and they only make 50k house hold income but pay 2500 a month in allomony... that's insane
Women mistakenly believe that living together is an on-ramp to marriage.
Yeah, and they really need to get over that.
It can be-living together is like a test drive to see if you can put up with someone day-to-day. Unfortunately, the end result is a lot of time you decide that you don't want to sign the papers.
People who live together before they get married have a way higher percentage of divorce.
Women mistakenly believes marriage avoids the problem she had here.
@@elliotjames1273 The types of people who are more likely to live together before marriage are people that will also leave it when they are unhappy in the marriage. I feel bad for the people that follow the old toxic culture of once you get married, you have to stay in that relationship even if you are not happy. The type of people that follow this culture are the same ones that follow the culture of getting married first before moving in.
same thing happened with a coworker and her fiance. Sudden breakup and selling the house was a disaster.
I bet someone cheated.
Wouldn't divorce compound the disaster?
@@arron2lucasDepends on the type of disaster. Divorce makes dividing the assets very clear. Shacking up does not.
Separate account for savings will also keep fraud and weird charges from your debit card.
I made the same mistake- what a nightmare that was to deal with. Don’t do it!
It’s the simultaneous head nod for me 😂
Yes 😭
Funny af
Broo
@@_HoneyBadger thanks for the time stamp lol
Yes that was funny 😄
My friend just bought a house with her boyfriend who doesn’t want to get married 🤦♀️
This will not go well in the long run... Bad idea👌
@@Voicesoftheeveryday-y3h not if they have joint tenancy. Same protection as a married couple.
@@hectorm8649 good idea, at least they are both protected 👌
Tell her to sell and leave and move with someone else till he makes up his mind. Thing is some people think that by moving in with someone that someone will decided “oh ok now we should get married.” That choice should be made before you move in together
Woooow
Plot twist her new roommate is her new bf lol. Who she plans on buying a house with 😂🤣😂🤣
Plot twist to your plot twist: this roommate that she plans on buying a house in the future with is the guy she cheated on her fiance with.
LOL!!
This is actually most likely true LOL
Lord no!😅
@@itachir8290 how does it feel to be right?
Our new neighbors just bought a house and are living together, not married. Making the largest financial commitment in your life, with no real personal commitment. Now that is a bad decision in my opinion.
In the old days, they would have been pariahs.
How do you know they aren’t committed. You don’t.
Marriage seems so over rated nowa days no offense to married people I’d just secure myself with joint tenancy
@@lovelytea5764 Problem is you can't just sell your half. You have to find that one person that wants to be a co-owner in a property with your ex that even you can't stand! Talk about finding a unicorn!
To be honest I also bought a house with someone I am not married too. However, we have all the legal documents in place including all insurances and our testimonies. So even though we are not married, we are bound by several contracts and are insured for several scenario's from death to handicap to a break-up. It's not that we don't want to marry, but a house came up for sale that was a great deal. We will get married in in a while though.
It all depends on what you grew up with. Most people I know aren't married but do live together or own homes together. In the Netherlands marriage really isn't that big of a thing anymore as not many people are religious.
1:30 that in-sync nod 😂
I had to replay that clip to view that. Lol.
Hahah same! Nod and facial expression on point 😂😂
😂😂
🤣😂
It should be a meme 😂
My head has wanted to explode when I heard of someone that bought a house with significant other/fiance and share a banking account! Oh heck no! I hope it ends well...but too close for comfort.
People think that marriage is some sort of symbolic union and it doesn’t really matter. Marriage is a LEGAL CONTRACT it outlines the terms of your finances moving forward. It protects you from ending up without anything if your partner is the sole provider. It gives you RIGHTS. There’s a reason for it and if you’re ready to buy a house together but not tie the knot you need to really sit down and think about whether that’s a good idea or not.
Absolutely true! I would highly recommend to consult with an attorney before marriage to completely understand the financial consequences.
Marriage is a symbolic union.
Huh. Marriage is a symbolic union. It’s prophetic image of Christ and the church,..
Yes! Excellent advice either by yourself or doing it when married.
Liz, marriage won't save you. Have you heard the term "messy divorce"?
So you could take 90%,
HAHA the same exact movement on 1:30 got me laughing out loud perfectly in sync HAHA
What's our motto? Shut up and listen. Otherwise don't call😂😂😂
Bad advice by caller: "just make sure this is somebody you are going to spend the rest of your life with". Well, that's what she initially was sure of when she bought that house with him.
She wasn't necessarily sure she'd be spending the rest of her life with him. I know a lot of unmarried people that bought a house together, knowing there is a real possibility the relationship could end and it made everything so much simpler
@@michaelpalumbo4880 or just choose your spouse more wisely. Marriage can be a beautiful thing when done correctly.
@@ranip7644
I’ve heard that said by so many divorced people it isn’t funny.
That’s even said before second marriage.
Marriages usually always start out wonderful.
Never take advice from a 25 year old.
Yeah that was bad advice she gave, but she did say get married first.
Thank god I watched this video. It was like a message sent from god.
Nope, a message sent from Dave! God's not in this forum.
@@offgridaussies sent by God through Dave
@@PTLB777 PU...LEEAASSEE!
It’s just common sense.
@@offgridaussies God is in everything. Deal with it.
Sounds like a sweetheart. Live a learn. Keep going girl.
Just sold the house. Same exact situation def not making the same mistake again. Now the solo home shopping begins.
Dave Ramsay's money outlook is based on biblical advice. It works.
It only works if marriage actually works out. Which, more times than not in the USA, ends in divorce.
the bible also says to stone women who won't marry their r*pists, so your mileage may vary.
@General Grievous what does that have to do with the comment you replied to?
@@kindasoupie That is a false interpretation of Mosaic law. And as Christians, we believe Jesus Christ fulfilled the Law who only commanded that we love one another. Galatians 5:14
@@Silidons91
%50 of divorce rate is skewed. It’s more like %30 and a lot of factors go into that.
A friend of mine and her bf just purchased a very large home together. While they seem very much in love, I just couldn’t understand why they didn’t get married first to solidify their commitment to each other before committing financially 🤷🏾♀️.
It's usually that one of them has one foot out or somebodys was piggybacking on the other financially
So what about the guys who got married and still lost their homes to their spouses?
They obviously didn't sign a prenuptial. That's their own fault and I dont feel sorry for them.
Surely you mean to their spouses and children?
Even if the kids names aren't on the documents, they benefit by having a stable home. No kids?
Then it's highly unlikely that the judge would split the marital assets in half.
There is usually a but out. Or a refinance to get someone’s name off the title.
I’m apparently at master level for DR, because I keep tons of money in my checking account and have absolutely zero impulse to spend it 💪🏻
Dave called him a "goob" but how we know its his fault? How do we know the new roommate is the new boyfriend?
Exactly!
Yeah I think Dave is biased for women usually.
Simpin' ain't easy
You’re a smart man that’s all I’m going to say
Yes! I kept waiting for a “her” or “him” to be dropped. Also, congrats to both the caller & her ex for making bank on the sell of the house! Breakups are a witch, but divorces are worse. Other than answering her basic question, NO other drama was needed to be dug up, Dave💁🏼♀️ The girl dun good.
My fiancé wanted to be on my home loan when I bought it. I said no and barely qualified. She's gone and I didn't have to give up my house over it.
@Greg B Naww. She wised up, got her own place.
Weird you'd be planning to get married and then be buying a house by yourself right before.
I know someone who got a house with her boyfriend
She put the down payment and he tossed her out. His name was on the home.
Everyone tried to warn her
If my roommate wanted to “checkin” with me every time they spent more than $300 I would tell them to move back in with their parents!
Yeah, that was weird advice... They also assumed she was jonesing to blow the money when she didn't say that at all
This young lady got off easy, thank goodness. Many times it ends up messy.
giggity.
@@bjkarana cringe
I'd like to know how this is any different than getting a divorce. You're still going to have to divide your assets. I thought this video would explain that.
He's religious. Lol
Bahaha love the unison nod when they realize what the situation is!
I am proud of you for getting out of the relationship with your fiancé. It wasn’t meant to be. Trust me. I married a guy that I knew wasn’t perfect & it lasted 6 months. I wasn’t brave enough to leave. You are smart. ❤
Her voice is so cute 🥺🥺🥺
I'm going through this right now unfortunately..
I feel for you. You're in for a bumpy ride. 😖
hope things work out x
From observation it seems like it was cheaper and quicker to be unmarried in this situation... and she made money....
If she was married and divorced that's possibly years in court ( lawyer fees and extra trauma
Or they could file for divorce themselves. My divorce cost me $300 in filing fees and parent education classes total. Total divorce time with custody of our six year old was less than a year which is lightning fast based on the courts docket.
@@kimmontenegro2258It can be quick. If can also be a long process if someone fights it.
Still not a good reason to play house together.
I bought a HUD repo. It got repo-ed from a unmarried couple.
He called him a gub but doesn't even know what happened. Smh
He is a gub for buying a house with someone he isn't married to lol
I took a huge risk. We were together 7 years. engaged for a year. Purchased a home together, immediately got married 6 months after. People asked me why we rushed it after buying a house. I told them I dont beleive in buying a home with someone you aren't married to. Nothing but bad luck comes with it. I had friends who did that and it was a messy process. I never wanted to end up like them
I bought a house in 2020 with my then girlfriend. Timing is what prompted us to buy the house together. Luckily we did at that time because shortly after, the market in that area shot to the moon. We would not be able to afford to purchase that house today. We've since married so, I guess you can say we did it backwards but it worked out for us.
Yep. The rare exception is not the formula for success for most people. The boyfriend/girlfriend breakup rate is astronomically higher than the husband/wife breakup rate. Dave still gave good advice
Married people do this all the time. It’s called divorce.
Sounds like she saved money on a divorce lawyer.
So what exactly are the pros and cons of buying a house unmarried vs married? Because it seems that if you are married or unmarried and you decide to sell the house the transaction and everything is still the same.
I disagree. Marriages fall apart just like relationships. Certain situations can create less of a headache in separation, however, there are instances where it's worse if you're married.
I think part of the equation is that she was only 21 when she and her ex-fiancé bought the house - MUCH too young. I see 17 year old girls walking around with engagement rings on their finger - utterly ridiculous - they’re barely out of school !! So many young women just want ‘a guy’ rather than waiting for ‘THE guy’.
That's not thr problem
Still not as bad a decision as actually getting married.
@ET Music yep
No kidding, perfect comment
😂
😄😄😄
Right? Getting married is a TERRIBLE financial decision
She made out better because she wasn't married. Divorce would have tied up her finances possibly for years and if she made the most income in the relationship she may have had to pay alimony. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. She should buy her own house from here on out.
Sadly these days some women do have to pay alimony. The men that go after alimony in a divorce aren’t men and should lose their man card for life.
@@bryanhempel4764 There's nothing sad about it. Why should men have to pay alimony? If women want equality, they should be all for it.
The best choice is not to get married at all. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I bought my first house with my guy when we were not married. Common law is the same in law as marriage when it comes to property. I was 29 and he was 23. It can work out. Married now almost 19 years. (23 years together). I get the warning about not buying a house when not married but nobody knows if it is going to work out or not. If engaged, they certainly thought it was going to be long term.
Well at least where I live it definately is NOT THE SAME LEGAL SITATUION if you're not married. There are different options but non of them would give you the same rights and responsibilities in Switzerland if you want to huy with someone who is not your husband / wife
Serious question, what is the difference of breaking up while married or breaking up not married? How does getting a divorce easier than splitting and going your separate ways?
If you’re the only person who signed that mortgage but you split the cost, they can pick up and leave and the whole payment is your responsibility because you are not legally married. Also, if they pass away you will own the house with their parents which is not ideal.
@@a33m3a with the payment arrangement what's the difference between that and paying rent? So you'd rather pay someone you don't know?
The laws are different when you're married. You have legal protection.
@@chrisdaviddunn3012 legal protections against what?... well I guess she's be getting alimony too... great news for men...
@@arron2lucas half of the assets obtained while married vs living together.
I knew of a couple who weren't married bought a house together, then one of them got mad and turned around and married someone else. That took years to untangle that and sell that home.
Remember that time you used the mustard? Dave is hilarious!!!
Those mustard references make me grateful I no longer have roommates. And I haven’t had roommates in 28 years.
I feel like if she was married it would've been worse. They just sold their property and split it evenly. If they divorced they would have to split assets like cash, home, cars. And they would have to spend money on legal fees.
What BS. People enter business contracts all the time. What you don't want to do is buy a house with anyone else with a contract.
The only difference is how complicated things become involving the state,once the person makes up their mind they don’t want to be married anymore it’s over. I’m sure majority knows who benefits from divorce.
Marriage has nothing to do with buying a house together. Many men have male business partners and they purchase rental property. The mistake people make is you have to have the proper papers drawn up and make it a business arrangement and not a lover's arrangement. Basically, Dave is saying to women marry the man, and then when you split up you get the whole house and he gets the mortgage.
Absolutely. Business transactions take place all the time. However when matters of the heart go sour everything else can be very difficult and unreasonable. Even with regular business partners it can be messy then add a jilted and bitter ex.
That's a disaster.
This is the best advice in this situation!
That’s not how dividing assets work. And that’s not what Dave says at all.
This girl is smart and Dave and John are short changing her. I don't think she is going to be tempted at all to spend it on frivolous things. She sounds very laid back and doesn't sound like a spender at all.
Yeah, she bought a house with someone she’s not married too and then calls to ask how not to spend money. That sound smart? Doesn’t sound like someone that saves more than she spends. People that aren’t spenders don’t worry about blowing what they have.
I have an auntie who was with a man who wouldn’t marry her for decades - he kicked her out as soon as the house was paid off.
If she lived there it was her home and she had every right to stay living there. Sounds like she willingly walked away with nothing, for no reason.
My aunt lived with a man for ten years - the end of her childbearing years - and they bought a posh new condo together. They broke up. She bought him out somehow. He married a younger woman, bought a real house, and had three kids.
Smart man
Smart man
This actually happened to a friend of my mother’s. She paid for years on this man’s mortgage and had zero rights to the house when he evicted her.
I agree with Dave but in all due respect, I would go further: Do not buy a house with a spouse unless a prenup addressing these situations is in force.
This! My boyfriend and I are coming up with an agreement in case we break up or anything. He gets the house if we break up. We discussed it already lol. You should always plan for the what ifs
I tell you marriages are keeping lawyers in the money. I love it.💰
You love Lawyers or Money? Ewww. But good for you.
Also wedding businesses like planners, flowers, cakes,rental space,courthouse fees,etc..
And landlords....
When I did jury duty there were tons of posted available rental apartments,condos,and houses on the information bulletin board near the divorce/child support courtroom areas.
That mutual head nod was legendary.
What’s wrong with her selling the house and making a profit? Sounds like she saved a ton by not needing to hire a divorce lawyer.
I think the entire premise of DR perspective is that marriage comes with a better chance of the relationship lasting a lifetime. I'm not sure that's entirely true and holding to that belief creates other complications. Dealing with a house in any relationship is certainly easier if that relationship lasts a lifetime but marital status really has nothing to do with it as much as each spouses' actual commitment to the relationship.
@@Lon1001 I agree with you
That settles it, I am not getting a house with someone, if they have the house I will help with the mortgage and if I have the house, she can help me with the mortgage.
Who ever owns the house has the mortgage, and is responsible for maintenance, insurance etc. The other person is a renter or boarder, and shouldn't take on ownership responsibilities. If the owner wants the other person to take on more responsibilities, then they need to be on the loan.
@@lynettepettitt655 Good point, by the way does that mean they have no say in things like color of paint or furniture placement.
@@mossgeorge2001 depends... The issue with not being a home owner but acting like one is the investment. Personally I think it needs to be balanced between being a couple who make collective decisions & how rights & responsibilities of the owner/tenant stack up without it being a power struggle.
People also need to understand what the laws in their locality is as many don't distinguish between the mortgage holder & the non-mortgage holder if they're a couple living together. So the person not on the mortgage has legal rights to the property if they choose to pursue legal action.
Ha! Remember when you used the mustard?” 😂😂😂
That’s what you call a win win.........that she got out at the right time
Dave Ramsey is better than he deserves. Stop asking please ......
Marriage is life insurance for you spouse, Non-Marriage is your legal roommate. Definitely something to think about if this person lies and disappear alot.
I think it's smarter to buy a house with someone you're not married with, than buying a house to someone you are married with. I hear a lot more horror stories with people splitting up while married.
Until the other person runs off and gets married to someone else. I've seen that happen. It took a few years to sell that house. Marriage actually has financial protection vs just living together.
@@chrisdaviddunn3012 Financial protection for who? If I'm the bread winner, and am married and buy a house, how am I protected financially?
@@adaytoremember225 in a marriage it's always 50/50 split in assets, whereas shacking up, the courts hands are tied. The laws are very different
@@chrisdaviddunn3012 Right...is it always a 50/50 contribution though?
@@adaytoremember225 most of the time yes, it depends on the individual state.
She says the 20k is the most she’s ever seen which means he probably put up the deposit. That means in her case she’s profited off this deal in the end
I missed the part as to why you shouldn't buy a house with someone you're not married to?
This woman walked away with 21k in her back pocket.
She’s probably the exception to the rule, not the norm at all. Chances are not good this would happen.
Even buying a house with siblings is a fraught process or a parent, because if one person wants to move or needs to, it gets ugly fast.
Though I did buy a house with someone who I was engaged to, I had to sell and lost money. It would have been worse if we got married. Don't buy a house if you aren't secure with the person. A marriage doesn't mean it will certainly succeed.
The point is that legally it is very clear how the asset division takes place. Not so clear when people shack up and it leaves one party open to financial ruin.
@@BlueDauntlessdivorced leave people in financial ruin. Divorces are messy. People will fight over a toaster in a divorce hearing.
What exactly was the downside of them not being married in this particular situation?
Pretty sure the engagement got broke off when the guy realized he would have to listen to that voice for the rest of his life
Yep, I deliberately lost my card that my money market account card
Don’t matter how good they look or how good it is. Don’t play house. Either be all in or keep the living and accounts in the Dutch lane.
I have a house with my girlfriend. I don’t see the problem. Married people can break up too.. she just happened to break up before signing a piece of paper.
Well you should still sign a piece of paper when you buy a house with someone, to detail who has what % of ownership and what happens if you split.
I think of living together as being like renting a marriage. It feels like you have something, but technically you don't.
this is a given ! should not be even be doubt about this !
Remember that time you used the mustard..lol 😆
People get divorced in droves.... divorce rates are at like 50% of all marriages so it honestly doesn't make a difference anymore the partner is still gonna get half of everything married or not. Marriage might help with commitment and legal document aspect but not by much. I've known people in many of these scenarios my uncle wasn't married and owed 100k to his ex if he stayed in his house, which he did stay and got another GF a few months later. I've know couples that separated peacefully while co-owning a house with little complications. I've seen divorces where they also had to buy out their partner to keep the house. It doesn't even matter to be honest it all ends the same if it goes sour.
Not really.
My girlfriend and I don’t commingle assets. She has her own money, paid off homes,assets,career,etc. snd I have mine.
We don’t need each other financially.
No kids.
No issues.
She made a clean getaway! Against all odds.
W
1:33 satisfying moment of Dave Ramsey show
You mean 1:30?
My siblings need not tell me, I’ll tell them if the things they buying r too unnecessarily-expensive and just not needed. I’m a hot potato.
25 year old caller: Where should I put this money?
Dave: How's your relationship with your parents?
This joke is so old and so done
Getting married can always end in divorce and if both names are on thre house, then it has to be split. Married or not. If not married and you bought the house, keep partners name off the house.
If they were married, it’s much harder. Whoever the guy is should consider himself very lucky because he got to walk away with half the funds. If they were married, she would have dragged this along in hopes of getting the home entirely. She was happy to leave the relationship but she was mad she didn’t get all the money from the sale of the home. Free agent lifestyle is much better.
Once Dr Freud started talking about feelings I was done with this call
I always wonder home much of this is old school thinking. In my country the common-law designation brings the same rights/responsibilities as marriage. So if things go south it's the same either way. I guess the advice is that you want to be sure someone is thinking long-term with you but you can have those conversations without marriage and marriage isn't a guarantee because people lie about there intentions and feelings all the time anyway🤷♂️
Some states have common law marriage but most of them got rid of it.
I'm confused, if she were married and got a divorce, it would have been split in half anyways and she still would have been in the same position with the same amount of cash profit right?
Timeless advice!
To be fair when I see solicitors in the UK advertising divorces from the equivalent of 500 dollars I struggle to see why people place such a value on marriage
Married couples have everything spelled out by state law in the US. An unmarried couple will have a real mess to clean up if they own a house together, then split. This lady got off easy.
Why would you get married when over half end in divorce? Would you get on a plane that crashes over half the time!