Men don’t love their kids nor the woman they have them with and it’s been showing for centuries now. Idk why we are still shocked at their behavior. This so called father obviously doesn’t give two shits about his toddler’s health
My uncle has a German shepherd who hates being locked inside the house while he was away. He wrecked my uncles store the exact same way. He’s a dog. That’s his excuse.
My dog wanted to go outside and my mom didn’t want to open the door She pooped ON FLOOR picked it up with mouth PUT IT IN MY MOMS BED My mom left the house my dog got her new shoes AND CHEWED THEM UP. My dog NEEEEVERRRR try’s me like that lmao THEY KNOW WHO TO TRY 🥹😘
Realizing my grandfather did stuff like this to my grandmother. You have to hate someone to trash the house this way for your spouse to find and clean up. Hateful.
Men don’t need a reason to do this. They’ve always been raised to believe that a woman will take care of them like a mother does a child, but use the excuse “men work” to justify why a grown woman should take care of a grown man. Never mind that the woman also works.
My dad would eat sunflower seeds and shell them directly onto the floor in the living room, as well as pistachio seeds. He did a whole lot more. My mom does not like him, she spends all day away from home so she does not have to see him. She intentionally will leave the house so that she does not have to be there with him. She works nights so she does not have to sleep beside him and comes back in the day when he is out of bed. She really dislikes him. And I think he knows it now.
@@dianaa3336 She confessed to me that she wanted to and even planned to. She even went to stay with my aunt for six months, but tradition holds her very hard. So this is her solution.
Yes, his workplace needs to see it because it reveals his true nature and how much of a good business partner he'd be. Yes, his extended family needs to see how he treats his wife. Yes, yes, and yes. Everyone needs to see this. But the person who needs to answer all that isn't us, it's his wife who posted that video. And if she did not think about people close to them learning about it then she's a super fool
Blonde lady with the hoodie is way off. When make up gets left on the counter, it eventually gets cleaned right? And by who? It's ok to make a mess, but when all of said messes whether in the house or a car are being taken care of by one party, it becomes unfair and exhausting. She needs to rethink and sit this one out.
@@klagrmister3240 She talks about it as if makeup was being left all over the house and making people trip on the floor. Excuse me, but a little mess on the counter takes 5 minutes to clean up. It's incomparable to a whole messy house
@@klagrmister3240I know that woman. Her entire channel is about helping women better understand men and playing devil's advocate for men. Sometimes, she has good points, but, clearly, she also has misses. Edit: Oh, wait. The blonde woman in the pink shirt is who I'm talking about. She's right that getting him fired may not be the best course of action, especially if he's the sole earner in the household. The rest of what she said is wrong though.
She should just hire a cleaning crew i.e Molly maid and place it on the husband's tab. Honestly I would through in a good deep carpet cleaning too, I hope she doesn't clean this up because that's crazy to me. Just hire a cleaning crew on the husband's credit card and of she still wants this relationship she needs to have very clear expectations and boundaries for herself. If he pulls this then let him know he cannot be trusted in his home, ask a relative to house sit and watch the kids. For me this would be grounds for a separation. It's much deeper than mess and this woman needs to understand this quickly.
This is exactly why I parted ways with my ex. It dawned on me that if he couldn't share space and help keep things tidy after being asked, adding children would only add to the issue. So he really didn’t care what I had to say or how I felt. In the end, I'd be doing everything. Who desires a life like that? Better to stay single and content. Love your own company, spend time with friends, and explore new hobbies.
I couldn’t fathom being with a man who only did things when asked. We all come from off rent backgrounds, so I’d help the guy learn how to clean and do things if I had to, but after that, he should know what needs to get done and how to do it properly. I do not want kids, so why would I mother a grown man? These dudes play too much, and so many women let them get away with it by making excuses and even condoning it in their sons since birth.
I experienced weaponized incompetence on many levels but I can’t. I would have turned around and booked another 11 day vacation and let him deal with that foolishness!
If mothers were paid for their home management services they would earn $90,000/year! Each of these is its own job: meal planning, shopping, food prep, cooking, cleaning, organization, scheduling, transportation, laundry, home maintenance, tutoring, childcare, first-aid, child development, yard work, gardening etc. The people who do these jobs get paid! If it takes more than 40 hours/week, they receive overtime pay. Yet, when mothers do this work 16+ hours/day, 365 days a year, year after year, they’re made to feel like beggars! Men. Can’t. Afford. Us.
you underestimated that figure , its around 150,000 dollars , I calculated it once for my husband because he got an attitude about me not contributing by working outside the home (I had worked full time up until the end of maternity leave for my twins ) at that time in the beginning of the century it was over 100,000 pounds sterling as we had three kids which would need 20k just for daycare per year.
Umm just to be a surrogate is 60000 and women out here doing it for free lol my husband would have to pay me that upfront to even think about putting my body through that bs
@@jasbirkaurvillaschi8019your husband was complaining AFTER you had babies? Do what was his response after showing him? Did you tell him to that the value of the sex. You carrying the babies, and HE is the one not contributing???
20:25 "She should have known what she'd got herself into before she got married." Got to love the victim blaming here. Wanna bet this was her first solo vacation in like 10 years or something?
It’s not always victim blaming. Most women know how their soon to be husband is, but have unrealistic expectations that he’ll change for them. It’s true that men can change once the knot is tied, but the women in these situations truly didn’t know because the man hid his true nature, or the red flags were occasional, or more like yellow flags that never passed the red flag threshold. We have to be honest about this type of stuff, including how certain women really do get themselves in this type of situation then wanna cry about it. You gotta hold people accountable where applicable.
I have six brothers who can do all the things I can do. They are great parents. Some of them have more child care experience than the women they married.
My ex would be in bed all day, on his days off - sometimes taking additional days off. And you guessed it, to spend all day in bed & when I got home from work, nothing would be done, then he goes out to hang out with his friends! I'm pretty sure he's come to terms as to why he's the ex! You made that bed, you're gonna lie in it! 😒
That isn't just weaponized incompetence, it's also child abuse. He was so angry at her for going on vacation that he made his children live in that mess. What lesson did he teach his children? That neither they or their mother matters.
Please do a video on people comparing Cassie’s situation to Keke Palmer. Cassie dated a billionaire. Keke Palmer dated a bus driver. Different tax brackets same abuse. 😕
There's nothing to compare - they're BOTH Dusties! Just because you have more money than the next Dusty - doesn't change you from being a Dusty! You're just a high income Dusty! 😒
Cassies abuse was worse. He had cars blown up and his ex disappeared. He hired people to stalk her. Rich men have a power to ruin your life in a very unique way.
"I HAVE A GAG REFLEX!" NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! This was the excuse from the ex husband as to why he wouldn't help with our cats litter box AND said if we had a kid, he'd not be able to change ANY diapers!! I'm dying!!!! 6:48
I had a very important job interview, in another state. It was a total of 3 days of me being gone. You would have thought a tornado of dirt, bodily fluids and food came through my house in those 3 days. I left it in the clean state I always do. It doesn't matter if it's 1 hour or 11 days, just no.
21:37 - I feel like 'she should have known [whatever]' is too reductive and feels like victim blaming. Some partners can start out as one thing, and then change into something completely different once they tie the knot, and people can also be dishonest when they talk about their 'plans' for a relationship. This lady in that TikTok comes off like she's always judging other women 24/7. It doesn’t feel right.
That lady said from her own mouth that majority of her viewers are male. As soon as she said that and used the word “Accountability”… actually the fact that she had all that time say about the woman before she even said anything about men that do this tells you everything you need to know about that pick me lol. The fact that she thinks he’s just lazy and nothing more shows she’s not someone that needs to be listened to. The fact that her audience is mostly male was the first red flag. 🚩
"No, it's not weaponized incompetence; it's sheer wickedness." SPOT ON. Think of the character of someone that is half responsible for regular tasks that are hard, but to get out of doing them they have to make conscious choice to make their partner's life harder to make their life easier.
It depends on the field he's in, I would be horrified if my doctor, therapist, teacher did something like this to their loved ones. It's grossly aggressive behavior and dangerous. This is borderline evil and if he didn't want any backlash don't behave like this. There's more going on in his mental and no one should be subjected to that.
I head business people saying that how a man treats his wife shows how he'll behave in business. If he's loyal, if he's a supportive partner, if he gives up under pressure, etc. So it matters for them that their business partners are good husbands.
@VixxKong2 very true and the rationale makes sense, of you could harm someone close to you that you profess to love how can anyone trust you. Truthfully how can anyone trust you?
He is definitely mad at her for leaving him to go on vacation. Im sure its his way of punishing her so that she would never do it again. That type of behavior would cause me to leave him not teach me a lesson. I remember before my husband passed away he kept losing his jobs and half as* working not paying bills like he used to so I had to pick up his slack. I took my grandson and daughter on vacation to Orlando. When I informed him that is was going he said to me FU** you! How disrespectful. So he expected me to pick up his slack and take him on vacation.
I would have turned around and walked back out went and got a hotel. When he called and said, "Where are you when are you getting back??!! I would have said after you clean the house. Send me pics when it's done because I'm not coming back until you show me proof everything is done, and it's done right!!
my husband hates to clean up after himself but he's known I hate mess since the day he met me. He knows I will throw a trash bag on his lap and tell him get to work then go off to my own business till everything is clean. Sometimes he used to seem confused about what to do with stuff I'm like. Dude you live here and you don't know where to put your own jeans half the time, seems like you need more practice putting stuff away. I'm not going to be like my mom cleaning up after a man and working longer hours and making more pay and baby sitting a grown up. We're not doing all that, men need to wake up and act like responsible adults and care for their home the way they care for their egos.
Consequences of her actions. Should have kept that in the bestie group chat. We don't know their marriage, the 11 day vacation is just as suspicious as the mess. Just keep your business at home and go to couples therapy.
I would not have cleaned A THING. I would have taken my child and moved somewhere else without telling the husband then filed for divorce and full custody. This video would have been used in court evidence.
So many women put up with this! & allllllll yall do is Wine complain and fill everybody else with anxiety,because you're not smart enough to leave him level up and move on.I cut off tons of annoying ppl Because year after year its the same shhh it Different story even worse when you all have multiple kids by somebody who never help with the first one. Like you All are not victims, yall are volunteers!!!
Its hard to choose better when people can hide who they really are for so long til its too late/ you're in too deep to choose for change. Still not really a fan of that line UNLESS girlie has been given clear signs including family cluing em in and they still choose to engage.
@@galacticalove This is true but let's be honest - women ignore clear and obvious red flags ALL the time. They are willing to tolerate so much disrespect. I see it all the time. Some don't know better but others do and stay because of feelings or attachment, even though it's not smart. The only way to fix this is to have high standards and a solid sense of self worth.
@@ellegmyeand don't have children too early in the relationship...wait for atleast 2 years and getting to know your husband well and how living together is..lot of women rush to have children then they can't leave when they feel trapped. A person can't pretend to be something else for more than a year or two.
The victim blaming, lack of empathy and understanding and sheer level of superiority in that comment is sickening. I hope you never end up with a covert Narcissist who hides very well who they truly are from you for years, lovebomb you and gives you everything you want until they feel they have you trapped and then take off their mask and you get stuck with them and a few kids and no way out. I hope you don't have to experience that. You don't have to experience something to have empathy for those struggling to get out of a relationship that's obviously bad for them. Look in the mirror and check yourself.
Honestly? I think people CAN take it too far, but I'll also say that this environment as its shown is a hazard for children. I think the wife, if she ever wises up, has grounds for getting full custody. That trashed house is a textbook case of CHILD NEGLECT. So yeah strangers on the internet can get way too invested in enforcing consequences on other strangers. No question. But I will say that that impulse comes from a place of seeing injustices unaccounted for day after day. And time and time again the system is designed in such a way that only public outcry can get anything done.
All that needs to happen is divorce. I sure AF ain’t gonna have a job, raise some brats, be a house slave to some selfish, self centered narcissist who needed to give a fuk about either his wife OR his kids. DIVORCE.
LAT relationships are the answer to so many problems women have in relationships. I will never have any relationship that is not LAT moving forward in life. Your space is for you, their space is for them. The time you spend together is meant to spend together, and everyone is responsible for their own sh*t. This way when it doesn’t work out you don’t have to try to detangle your life from your oppressor, abuser, or “partner” you can just tell them they aren’t allowed to come over anymore and move on. Just because living together has historically been what os expected in relationships, when there is no good reason to merge households why do it at all? Save yourself and your sanity and don’t invite a man to move into your space again even if he supposedly “loves” you.
@@martymcfly5764 Living apart together. It means you both are in a relationship, but have your own places. There are married people who even have separate bedrooms and have healthy marriages as well.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 my husband and I have separate bedrooms. I never planned on getting married, but I told myself that if I ever did that having my own room for my own things and my own personal space was an absolute must. I couldn't imagine having it any other way.
Ok that woman saying you know before you marry th is crazy, men are such good actors and they can do it for years. When they have kids with yoi and figure they have you locked in the change so much suddenly the man that you met that could cook and clean suddenly dosent anymore. The guy that did laundry now can't or when he does is incompetent. Once they figure they have you locked in with kids they can just do what ever they want.
My husband after I had life saving surgery and was in the hospital for 14 days. Did the very same thing! He did this even after the doctors told him I almost died and I need to be on complete bed rest for two weeks. When I returned he kept on riding me and screaming at me at the top of his lungs to clean it up!!! He was a malignant narcissist and I divorced him!!
Yes, its bad she posted but the behavior was more offensive. Ugh! Either you accept that males are really incapable humans or they weaponize incompetence. Either way, it doesnt look good. We are so used to bare minimum that we praise men doing basic adulting.
It's 2023! He could have used task rabbit or a cleaning service to help while she was gone. Disrespectul and lazy af!! Y'all crazy people who stalked him need to relax tho.
The cutie music that goes along with it is suspectable to her and the situation. Like hahaha no big deal. Let the wrong person walk into that situation with the mother not there , he is blaming that on the mother . May even claim she abandon him with the children.
You can NOT compare a CAR to cleaning a HOUSE! Usually ppl throw things out the way in a car because they have to worry about EYES ON THE ROAD in a MOVING vehicle, and are in and out... But at home, one has more time to focus on cleaning the house, and after their own selves.
My father traveled for work all the time when I was a kid. Our house never looked like this when he got home. It never even approached this. This looks on purpose. What an asshole.
It’s called having ducking friends😂 I work in medical research, many of my high school and college friends also work in that field. When there’s national or international conferences, that’s also vacation. If she has a job and has been handling the child rearing, home maintenance, and pleasuring him on top of all that, she deserves a damn vacation. 11 days ain’t shit😂
Facts. At my job I watch men vacuum rooms, fold mountains of fabric, dust and polish furniture, sweep floors, and gather trash on the daily and always without instruction.
We are going to have to stop overlooking👀 the women, who are getting into these kinds of relationships. It's looking like it's not just the men, but it's you too. I don't think it's fair that women are always looking to other women to save them. Like the people who come to your rescue can't be hurt, themselves fight back..🧐💯
What if the shoe were on the other foot? If the man left for 11 days and came home to a wreck, he would be criticized for leaving her with the kids for 11 days.
And the woman would be labeled all kinds of things. Marriage and kids requieres teamwork. There is no reason the house should get this bad just cuz one parent is out of the home for a bit of time.
If I were her! I would pay someone else to clean it up on his dime! Or I would pack my bags stay with a friend and tell him.I'm continuing my vacation!
In her defense most people wouldn't be this lazy. She probably thought he would never let it get that bad. Hopefully she understands and is addressing it. People shouldn't go and try to bother him because it could lead to abuse.
Single ladies please listen to to us we are veterans of marriage wars we have the battle wounds and mental breakdown. Please get yourself right in life so you can take care of yourself
1.That is an entitled man that a. Sees how much you care for the home therefore takes that as a slight against him and wants to destroy because it (the home) gets "more attention" OR b. Truly and deeply hates you so much so that he believes you stepped out of his place for you and this is your punishment for doing so.... or c. All of the above. 2. These videos should be left in the group chat and not shared with the public. I agree with the last stitch. Keep ya Ls to yourself ESPECIALLY if you're not going to leave em. 3. No he shouldn't be fired. Ppl going too far😅
I agree that the response of the public internet is often lacking measure and usually completely out of pocket... but what tf did we all think was gonna happen? Some of us online live OP's life, or were raised by parents in marriages like these. That perpetual hunger for justice on the internet to the detriment of those being "served justice" has been a thing for all of the last decade, at least! I'm also not saying OP shouldn't have posted this, but I AM saying that ppl should stop saying where they work online next to their full legal name 🤦🏼♀️ ur turning ur life into content when u do social media. Ppl actually out here commodifying themselves thoughtlessly and then surprise Pikachu face at the consequences
The husband should have hired a housekeeper/ maid to help him clean up and then also have the kids goto his mom's house for a while so he could relax and straighten up the house! Resolutions! AMEN!
@@Egg_Apron She doesn't have to but his circumstances are uncomfortable and difficult at this time and he could ask for help from the village. Family and friends take care of each other in times of emergencies! If she can't do it that's fine. Remember if his mom needs help then him and his wife and the kids could/would return the favor. No negative vibes are allowed. Life is not hard,we just make it hard! AMEN!
They both immature. She shoulda just talked to him and he shoulda acted like an adult and clean the house. People need to stop rushing into marriage and children.
All I would have done is watched them clean Just a extended vacation🤷🏾♀️ And you know it’s not going to be up to par…then he will pay for a maid LOOKING LIKE A FULL 2WEEKS OFF
Men don’t love their kids nor the woman they have them with and it’s been showing for centuries now. Idk why we are still shocked at their behavior. This so called father obviously doesn’t give two shits about his toddler’s health
or safety
Exactly response
My uncle has a German shepherd who hates being locked inside the house while he was away. He wrecked my uncles store the exact same way. He’s a dog. That’s his excuse.
I had a German shepherd Collie mix as a kid and he chew a hole in the dore because we left him alone for 1 day.
Yo, he would go back to the shelter. It couldn't be me.
My dog wanted to go outside and my mom didn’t want to open the door
She pooped ON FLOOR picked it up with mouth PUT IT IN MY MOMS BED
My mom left the house my dog got her new shoes AND CHEWED THEM UP. My dog NEEEEVERRRR try’s me like that lmao
THEY KNOW WHO TO TRY 🥹😘
I’m saying at least a dog can be trained and loves you!
@hybridthesheriffand?
Realizing my grandfather did stuff like this to my grandmother. You have to hate someone to trash the house this way for your spouse to find and clean up. Hateful.
I wouldn't have cleaned shit😅
Also, that mess is dangerous for the kids to within. He’s endangering the children.
This is punishment for her doing something other than parenting and caring others!
Men don’t need a reason to do this. They’ve always been raised to believe that a woman will take care of them like a mother does a child, but use the excuse “men work” to justify why a grown woman should take care of a grown man. Never mind that the woman also works.
Most men are haters of women, especially black women!
If I came home to that I would have called the cops thinking someone broke in!
Oh yeah I'm definitely pressing charges
I would go BACK on vacation and say I'm not coming back til y'all clean it up!!!🤣🤣😂😂💀💀🤷♀🤷♀
Period! My first thought was "where am I going now? Maybe visit one of my favorite cousins?😂😂"
When the diagnosed narcissist hops on to say you're showing up with toxic tendencies... that should warrant a moment of self reflection
Exactly. Lee would know.
That’s the thing, most narcissists (the one he is calling out) don’t have that capability. Everyone else is the problem.
My husband used to try to play the you do it better card but I’ll just say do your best 😂 he stopped lol
🤣
My dad would eat sunflower seeds and shell them directly onto the floor in the living room, as well as pistachio seeds. He did a whole lot more. My mom does not like him, she spends all day away from home so she does not have to see him. She intentionally will leave the house so that she does not have to be there with him. She works nights so she does not have to sleep beside him and comes back in the day when he is out of bed. She really dislikes him. And I think he knows it now.
She should divorce him like who does that?
But the reality is he rather stay married, because he does not care.
@@txspacemom765He'll start to care if she leaves those shells on the floor. I'd step right over them and keep moving like I didn't see them.
@@dianaa3336 She confessed to me that she wanted to and even planned to. She even went to stay with my aunt for six months, but tradition holds her very hard. So this is her solution.
@theformidabletruth She has a job in healthcare, lockdown was great for her.... opportunity to never be home.
That’s bad enough to warrant a call to CPS.
I would’ve walked back out of the door. She’s already packed 😂
Right?! Because I KNOW I just walked into the wrong house. 😳
I think the same way. She was already packed I would have left.
Weaponized disrespect! 🤣
He's a private person?? But he trashed the house for you to see then clean. She's a push over & he's knows it*
The privacy is to enable the abuse. Thru know it can’t stand up in light of day
Yes, his workplace needs to see it because it reveals his true nature and how much of a good business partner he'd be.
Yes, his extended family needs to see how he treats his wife.
Yes, yes, and yes. Everyone needs to see this.
But the person who needs to answer all that isn't us, it's his wife who posted that video.
And if she did not think about people close to them learning about it then she's a super fool
Blonde lady with the hoodie is way off. When make up gets left on the counter, it eventually gets cleaned right? And by who? It's ok to make a mess, but when all of said messes whether in the house or a car are being taken care of by one party, it becomes unfair and exhausting. She needs to rethink and sit this one out.
@@klagrmister3240
She talks about it as if makeup was being left all over the house and making people trip on the floor.
Excuse me, but a little mess on the counter takes 5 minutes to clean up. It's incomparable to a whole messy house
@VixxKong2 I was in a rush and mistakenly replied to your post and not the main thread but exactly! You get it. Not comparable in the slightest.
@@klagrmister3240I know that woman. Her entire channel is about helping women better understand men and playing devil's advocate for men. Sometimes, she has good points, but, clearly, she also has misses.
Edit: Oh, wait. The blonde woman in the pink shirt is who I'm talking about. She's right that getting him fired may not be the best course of action, especially if he's the sole earner in the household. The rest of what she said is wrong though.
@tosinakin2508 Ya lol, we're talking about 2 different people 😅
He would have to clean it, cause I was going on another week and taking the kids.
I certainly wouldn’t clean it. I’d put it up for foreclosure or move into my own apartment.
It's not that easy when you have kids and no income of your own like she does
She should just hire a cleaning crew i.e Molly maid and place it on the husband's tab. Honestly I would through in a good deep carpet cleaning too, I hope she doesn't clean this up because that's crazy to me. Just hire a cleaning crew on the husband's credit card and of she still wants this relationship she needs to have very clear expectations and boundaries for herself. If he pulls this then let him know he cannot be trusted in his home, ask a relative to house sit and watch the kids. For me this would be grounds for a separation. It's much deeper than mess and this woman needs to understand this quickly.
This is exactly why I parted ways with my ex. It dawned on me that if he couldn't share space and help keep things tidy after being asked, adding children would only add to the issue. So he really didn’t care what I had to say or how I felt. In the end, I'd be doing everything. Who desires a life like that? Better to stay single and content. Love your own company, spend time with friends, and explore new hobbies.
I couldn’t fathom being with a man who only did things when asked. We all come from off rent backgrounds, so I’d help the guy learn how to clean and do things if I had to, but after that, he should know what needs to get done and how to do it properly. I do not want kids, so why would I mother a grown man? These dudes play too much, and so many women let them get away with it by making excuses and even condoning it in their sons since birth.
I experienced weaponized incompetence on many levels but I can’t. I would have turned around and booked another 11 day vacation and let him deal with that foolishness!
We have to stop calling it babysitting. It's their children they aren't babysitting! It's their responsibility!
If mothers were paid for their home management services they would earn $90,000/year!
Each of these is its own job: meal planning, shopping, food prep, cooking, cleaning, organization, scheduling, transportation, laundry, home maintenance, tutoring, childcare, first-aid, child development, yard work, gardening etc.
The people who do these jobs get paid! If it takes more than 40 hours/week, they receive overtime pay.
Yet, when mothers do this work 16+ hours/day, 365 days a year, year after year, they’re made to feel like beggars!
Men. Can’t. Afford. Us.
you underestimated that figure , its around 150,000 dollars , I calculated it once for my husband because he got an attitude about me not contributing by working outside the home (I had worked full time up until the end of maternity leave for my twins ) at that time in the beginning of the century it was over 100,000 pounds sterling as we had three kids which would need 20k just for daycare per year.
This should be a pinned comment.
Umm just to be a surrogate is 60000 and women out here doing it for free lol my husband would have to pay me that upfront to even think about putting my body through that bs
It’s true, I own a cleaning business and some people are paying $1000 a month JUST for the cleaning ONE day a week
@@jasbirkaurvillaschi8019your husband was complaining AFTER you had babies? Do what was his response after showing him? Did you tell him to that the value of the sex. You carrying the babies, and HE is the one not contributing???
20:25 "She should have known what she'd got herself into before she got married." Got to love the victim blaming here. Wanna bet this was her first solo vacation in like 10 years or something?
It’s not always victim blaming. Most women know how their soon to be husband is, but have unrealistic expectations that he’ll change for them. It’s true that men can change once the knot is tied, but the women in these situations truly didn’t know because the man hid his true nature, or the red flags were occasional, or more like yellow flags that never passed the red flag threshold. We have to be honest about this type of stuff, including how certain women really do get themselves in this type of situation then wanna cry about it. You gotta hold people accountable where applicable.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809Your message is passive/aggressive at best. Many of these women try to keep their vows, and are punished for being righteous.
I would go ALL THE WAY OFF!
She shouldn’t have posted this vid if she didn’t want society to weigh in! He should be mad at himself!🙌🏽
I’m not cleaning that up. I would quietly gather my children and check into a hotel. He is an enemy of progress.
The pick-Mrs and dusties in the comments saying “well what did it look like when she left?” Trying to justify this 🤦🏾♀️
D I V O R C E
I have six brothers who can do all the things I can do. They are great parents. Some of them have more child care experience than the women they married.
My ex would be in bed all day, on his days off - sometimes taking additional days off. And you guessed it, to spend all day in bed & when I got home from work, nothing would be done, then he goes out to hang out with his friends!
I'm pretty sure he's come to terms as to why he's the ex!
You made that bed, you're gonna lie in it! 😒
Step 1: Take his credit card
Step 2: Hire a premium cleaning service
That isn't just weaponized incompetence, it's also child abuse. He was so angry at her for going on vacation that he made his children live in that mess. What lesson did he teach his children? That neither they or their mother matters.
This is probably the same type of guy who says he's gotta "babysit" BRO IT'S NOT BABYSITTING, YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF YOUR CHILD
Please do a video on people comparing Cassie’s situation to Keke Palmer. Cassie dated a billionaire. Keke Palmer dated a bus driver. Different tax brackets same abuse. 😕
There's nothing to compare - they're BOTH Dusties! Just because you have more money than the next Dusty - doesn't change you from being a Dusty! You're just a high income Dusty! 😒
Cassies abuse was worse. He had cars blown up and his ex disappeared. He hired people to stalk her. Rich men have a power to ruin your life in a very unique way.
@@beepbopboop7727are you talking about Cassie the singer?
Men are just not good
"I HAVE A GAG REFLEX!" NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
This was the excuse from the ex husband as to why he wouldn't help with our cats litter box AND said if we had a kid, he'd not be able to change ANY diapers!!
I'm dying!!!! 6:48
Nah. I have the same problem but I changed my neice and nephew's diapers. I put on a mask or held my breath.
Then he shouldn't have kids or pets...TF?!
I had a very important job interview, in another state. It was a total of 3 days of me being gone. You would have thought a tornado of dirt, bodily fluids and food came through my house in those 3 days. I left it in the clean state I always do. It doesn't matter if it's 1 hour or 11 days, just no.
This is vandalism. Call the polis?😮
21:37 - I feel like 'she should have known [whatever]' is too reductive and feels like victim blaming. Some partners can start out as one thing, and then change into something completely different once they tie the knot, and people can also be dishonest when they talk about their 'plans' for a relationship. This lady in that TikTok comes off like she's always judging other women 24/7. It doesn’t feel right.
That lady said from her own mouth that majority of her viewers are male. As soon as she said that and used the word “Accountability”… actually the fact that she had all that time say about the woman before she even said anything about men that do this tells you everything you need to know about that pick me lol. The fact that she thinks he’s just lazy and nothing more shows she’s not someone that needs to be listened to. The fact that her audience is mostly male was the first red flag. 🚩
I wouldn't clean anything.
This would scare me. What if you get sick ? He has proven he can not handle basic life skills.
"No, it's not weaponized incompetence; it's sheer wickedness." SPOT ON. Think of the character of someone that is half responsible for regular tasks that are hard, but to get out of doing them they have to make conscious choice to make their partner's life harder to make their life easier.
Divorce
HOLY FUC! Dude.... I would have went to "get some milk at the store" and never returned. He can keep the kids n the house. I'm a free woman
Getting him fired for this is too much. Yes she should leave him. But him losing his job puts his family at risk and ppl need to calm down!
It depends on the field he's in, I would be horrified if my doctor, therapist, teacher did something like this to their loved ones. It's grossly aggressive behavior and dangerous. This is borderline evil and if he didn't want any backlash don't behave like this. There's more going on in his mental and no one should be subjected to that.
I head business people saying that how a man treats his wife shows how he'll behave in business.
If he's loyal, if he's a supportive partner, if he gives up under pressure, etc.
So it matters for them that their business partners are good husbands.
heard*
@VixxKong2 very true and the rationale makes sense, of you could harm someone close to you that you profess to love how can anyone trust you. Truthfully how can anyone trust you?
Why are y'all still protecting men as women when they'd never do this for you?
He is definitely mad at her for leaving him to go on vacation. Im sure its his way of punishing her so that she would never do it again. That type of behavior would cause me to leave him not teach me a lesson. I remember before my husband passed away he kept losing his jobs and half as* working not paying bills like he used to so I had to pick up his slack. I took my grandson and daughter on vacation to Orlando. When I informed him that is was going he said to me FU** you! How disrespectful. So he expected me to pick up his slack and take him on vacation.
I would have turned around and walked back out went and got a hotel. When he called and said, "Where are you when are you getting back??!! I would have said after you clean the house. Send me pics when it's done because I'm not coming back until you show me proof everything is done, and it's done right!!
my husband hates to clean up after himself but he's known I hate mess since the day he met me. He knows I will throw a trash bag on his lap and tell him get to work then go off to my own business till everything is clean. Sometimes he used to seem confused about what to do with stuff I'm like. Dude you live here and you don't know where to put your own jeans half the time, seems like you need more practice putting stuff away. I'm not going to be like my mom cleaning up after a man and working longer hours and making more pay and baby sitting a grown up. We're not doing all that, men need to wake up and act like responsible adults and care for their home the way they care for their egos.
It will have ended in divorce, right? RIGHT?!
Consequences of her actions. Should have kept that in the bestie group chat. We don't know their marriage, the 11 day vacation is just as suspicious as the mess. Just keep your business at home and go to couples therapy.
Thank God my hubby don’t do this. 🤷🏽♀️🙏🏽😌I leave a spotless house I come back to a spotless house. 😌
I would turn around take my kids and leave then divorce him. Simple as.... My self esteem would not allow any other action.
The wife should call Merry Maids cleaning service to clean up. Then, give him the bill to pay.
I would not have cleaned A THING. I would have taken my child and moved somewhere else without telling the husband then filed for divorce and full custody. This video would have been used in court evidence.
At the least the husband could have hired a cleaning service the day before she returned.
Hiring a cleaning company would ruin the message he was purposely sending the wife when she returned.
Well he would have to care about his wife not being overworked or disrespected
Love that middle finger with the first creator...LOLOLOLOL
I would not post it but turn around and go on another vacation for another 11 days while looking for a new apartment for me and my kids
So many women put up with this! & allllllll yall do is Wine complain and fill everybody else with anxiety,because you're not smart enough to leave him level up and move on.I cut off tons of annoying ppl Because year after year its the same shhh it Different story even worse when you all have multiple kids by somebody who never help with the first one. Like you All are not victims, yall are volunteers!!!
Thank God my husband don’t behave like this. 🙏🏽😌. Women need to choose better.
Its hard to choose better when people can hide who they really are for so long til its too late/ you're in too deep to choose for change.
Still not really a fan of that line UNLESS girlie has been given clear signs including family cluing em in and they still choose to engage.
@@galacticalove This is true but let's be honest - women ignore clear and obvious red flags ALL the time. They are willing to tolerate so much disrespect. I see it all the time. Some don't know better but others do and stay because of feelings or attachment, even though it's not smart. The only way to fix this is to have high standards and a solid sense of self worth.
@@ellegmyeand don't have children too early in the relationship...wait for atleast 2 years and getting to know your husband well and how living together is..lot of women rush to have children then they can't leave when they feel trapped. A person can't pretend to be something else for more than a year or two.
The victim blaming, lack of empathy and understanding and sheer level of superiority in that comment is sickening. I hope you never end up with a covert Narcissist who hides very well who they truly are from you for years, lovebomb you and gives you everything you want until they feel they have you trapped and then take off their mask and you get stuck with them and a few kids and no way out. I hope you don't have to experience that. You don't have to experience something to have empathy for those struggling to get out of a relationship that's obviously bad for them. Look in the mirror and check yourself.
There's no way. That's a job I don't want.
My absolute favorites were the lady in the pink robe and the lady with the orange cameo durag ❤❤❤❤
Honestly? I think people CAN take it too far, but I'll also say that this environment as its shown is a hazard for children. I think the wife, if she ever wises up, has grounds for getting full custody. That trashed house is a textbook case of CHILD NEGLECT. So yeah strangers on the internet can get way too invested in enforcing consequences on other strangers. No question. But I will say that that impulse comes from a place of seeing injustices unaccounted for day after day. And time and time again the system is designed in such a way that only public outcry can get anything done.
I would have gotten my clothes and other necessities and left. I would have also filed for divorce the same day.
All that needs to happen is divorce. I sure AF ain’t gonna have a job, raise some brats, be a house slave to some selfish, self centered narcissist who needed to give a fuk about either his wife OR his kids. DIVORCE.
This is domestic/in-house vandalism. Period.
OMG 😢😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
If i came back to this all hell would break loose...im so particular about cleanliness and how i keep house
LAT relationships are the answer to so many problems women have in relationships. I will never have any relationship that is not LAT moving forward in life.
Your space is for you, their space is for them. The time you spend together is meant to spend together, and everyone is responsible for their own sh*t.
This way when it doesn’t work out you don’t have to try to detangle your life from your oppressor, abuser, or “partner” you can just tell them they aren’t allowed to come over anymore and move on.
Just because living together has historically been what os expected in relationships, when there is no good reason to merge households why do it at all?
Save yourself and your sanity and don’t invite a man to move into your space again even if he supposedly “loves” you.
What does LAT mean?
@@martymcfly5764 Living apart together. It means you both are in a relationship, but have your own places. There are married people who even have separate bedrooms and have healthy marriages as well.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 my husband and I have separate bedrooms. I never planned on getting married, but I told myself that if I ever did that having my own room for my own things and my own personal space was an absolute must. I couldn't imagine having it any other way.
Its so clear that he just let the kid do whatever and run wild so he could watch tv or play video games 'in peace'.
Ok that woman saying you know before you marry th is crazy, men are such good actors and they can do it for years. When they have kids with yoi and figure they have you locked in the change so much suddenly the man that you met that could cook and clean suddenly dosent anymore. The guy that did laundry now can't or when he does is incompetent. Once they figure they have you locked in with kids they can just do what ever they want.
My husband after I had life saving surgery and was in the hospital for 14 days. Did the very same thing! He did this even after the doctors told him I almost died and I need to be on complete bed rest for two weeks. When I returned he kept on riding me and screaming at me at the top of his lungs to clean it up!!! He was a malignant narcissist and I divorced him!!
Yes, its bad she posted but the behavior was more offensive. Ugh!
Either you accept that males are really incapable humans or they weaponize incompetence. Either way, it doesnt look good. We are so used to bare minimum that we praise men doing basic adulting.
It's 2023! He could have used task rabbit or a cleaning service to help while she was gone. Disrespectul and lazy af!! Y'all crazy people who stalked him need to relax tho.
Vacation over 😂💀💀
The cutie music that goes along with it is suspectable to her and the situation. Like hahaha no big deal. Let the wrong person walk into that situation with the mother not there , he is blaming that on the mother . May even claim she abandon him with the children.
Exactly I’d be so embarrassed. There’s no way any able bodied man is “comfortable” living in a mess like that.
You can NOT compare a CAR to cleaning a HOUSE! Usually ppl throw things out the way in a car because they have to worry about EYES ON THE ROAD in a MOVING vehicle, and are in and out... But at home, one has more time to focus on cleaning the house, and after their own selves.
"If this red flag is not a trigger you feel you can put up with, rrrrrrrrrunnn!" 😂
He showed he not reliable on many levels.
My father traveled for work all the time when I was a kid. Our house never looked like this when he got home. It never even approached this. This looks on purpose. What an asshole.
You know when you open the door that it's done
I’m of the mindset that she’s a grown woman and can fight her own battles UNLESS she asks for help
This is what dogs with separation anxiety do
Stop being evil to your wife and she wouldn’t have content that makes you look bad
I would not clean it open and I would leave until he have the house in order.
Ladies please leave men alone, they are truly not worth it
11 days of vacation without her husband? I would like to understand the story behind that better.
It’s called having ducking friends😂
I work in medical research, many of my high school and college friends also work in that field. When there’s national or international conferences, that’s also vacation. If she has a job and has been handling the child rearing, home maintenance, and pleasuring him on top of all that, she deserves a damn vacation.
11 days ain’t shit😂
I would have been gone. When they got that $hit together I would return if not I would never return.
Its funny when you think that men can do all these chores in a profession just fine
Facts. At my job I watch men vacuum rooms, fold mountains of fabric, dust and polish furniture, sweep floors, and gather trash on the daily and always without instruction.
We are going to have to stop overlooking👀 the women, who are getting into these kinds of relationships. It's looking like it's not just the men, but it's you too. I don't think it's fair that women are always looking to other women to save them. Like the people who come to your rescue can't be hurt, themselves
fight back..🧐💯
What if the shoe were on the other foot? If the man left for 11 days and came home to a wreck, he would be criticized for leaving her with the kids for 11 days.
And the woman would be labeled all kinds of things. Marriage and kids requieres teamwork. There is no reason the house should get this bad just cuz one parent is out of the home for a bit of time.
This society makes me so sad! People REALLY thought this rose to the level of invading his life???
If I were her! I would pay someone else to clean it up on his dime! Or I would pack my bags stay with a friend and tell him.I'm continuing my vacation!
In her defense most people wouldn't be this lazy. She probably thought he would never let it get that bad. Hopefully she understands and is addressing it. People shouldn't go and try to bother him because it could lead to abuse.
Single ladies please listen to to us we are veterans of marriage wars we have the battle wounds and mental breakdown. Please get yourself right in life so you can take care of yourself
Explain to what does his job has to do with what type of husband and father he is to his children's life? Clarity
What is the point of calling his employer?
If he is messy and nasty when you meet him he is not going to change when you make it official.
That is good example of how 50/50 don't work.
Why did she have her camera ready when she opened the door I never did that
1.That is an entitled man that a. Sees how much you care for the home therefore takes that as a slight against him and wants to destroy because it (the home) gets "more attention" OR b. Truly and deeply hates you so much so that he believes you stepped out of his place for you and this is your punishment for doing so.... or c. All of the above.
2. These videos should be left in the group chat and not shared with the public. I agree with the last stitch. Keep ya Ls to yourself ESPECIALLY if you're not going to leave em.
3. No he shouldn't be fired. Ppl going too far😅
I think this trend of trying to get people fired is bully behavior and wrong. This hurts her and the kids.
I agree that the response of the public internet is often lacking measure and usually completely out of pocket... but what tf did we all think was gonna happen? Some of us online live OP's life, or were raised by parents in marriages like these. That perpetual hunger for justice on the internet to the detriment of those being "served justice" has been a thing for all of the last decade, at least!
I'm also not saying OP shouldn't have posted this, but I AM saying that ppl should stop saying where they work online next to their full legal name 🤦🏼♀️ ur turning ur life into content when u do social media. Ppl actually out here commodifying themselves thoughtlessly and then surprise Pikachu face at the consequences
The husband should have hired a housekeeper/ maid to help him clean up and then also have the kids goto his mom's house for a while so he could relax and straighten up the house!
Resolutions!
AMEN!
Why should his mom provide free child care on demand without agreeing in advance?
@@Egg_Apron She doesn't have to but his circumstances are uncomfortable and difficult at this time and he could ask for help from the village.
Family and friends take care of each other in times of emergencies!
If she can't do it that's fine.
Remember if his mom needs help then him and his wife and the kids could/would return the favor.
No negative vibes are allowed.
Life is not hard,we just make it hard!
AMEN!
They both immature. She shoulda just talked to him and he shoulda acted like an adult and clean the house. People need to stop rushing into marriage and children.
All I would have done is watched them clean
Just a extended vacation🤷🏾♀️
And you know it’s not going to be up to par…then he will pay for a maid
LOOKING LIKE A FULL 2WEEKS OFF