Hello you legends. Get a free list of my 100 favourite books - chriswillx.com/books/ Here's the timestamps: 00:00 Is Marriage Still Useful? 02:38 Society is Becoming More Prudish 11:52 Young People’s Views on Sex in Movies 15:05 Birth Control is Making Weak Men 20:19 The Gen-Z Pushback Against Romance 25:23 Is Patriarchy the Best System? 27:54 How Culture Impacts Our Views of Sex 33:00 Are Women Happier Now Than 70 Years Ago? 43:55 10 Years On From #MeToo 55:20 Why Men Aren’t Approaching Women 1:10:49 The Mental Health Crisis of Girls 1:19:09 Do Pedophiles Need Sympathy? 1:23:08 Why Women Support Body Positivity 1:27:50 The Normalisation of Cosmetic Surgery 1:38:14 Where to Find Louise
welcome to the end of economic prosperity and the decline of society i think that uncertainty is a bad breading ground for relationships (at my own job i see a lot of devorced men women have bf's fast after device or dending a relationship)
13:22 wish they had taken this poll or study when I was young. Graduated 20 years ago, from high school. Never been on the pill. Just find it cringe..and I’ve felt that way since I was a kid. High sex drive..
Had a student when I taught in prison. He bragged about having 4 baby mama's. I asked him how it felt not being part of his kids' lives. How they would grow up without a father. He shrugged, "I grew up without my pops, and I turned out okay." He seemed oblivious to the fact that he was in prison and would be for another 12 years. Yeah. he turned out just fine. Created 4 more customers for the prison system to profit from in the future. Good job.
@@ShaunHensley its both people's fault. Like the video said, women are the ones who have to face the consequences of casual sex due to biology. Why didn't the guys just use protecttion?
I see this all the time with YT videos now.... My only conclusion is that people are only reacting to the THUMBNAIL. It saddens me because then reasonable people get baited into responding to a vapid comment. I love comments but even I have to admit they're getting worse every year.
True story in my family. My grandma was known to be the most beautiful woman who also had the prettiest hair in the village. Her friends essentially convinced her to bleach her hair because it would've made her look better. This resulted in her having to cut off most of her hair...They then laughed at her and called her stupid for falling for it.
I can believe that. She was a threat so they sought to bring her attractiveness down. This is also happening in entertainment. Anecdotally, I was invited to bring gifts to a baby shower. Problem being I'm male. I pointed this out and was rounded on. As it being female only is not a thing anymore. I brought said gift and was repaid with mockery and laughter and had it pointed out that baby showers are a female affair. Lesson learnt. Trust your life experience, what your eyes see and your ears hear. Beware of gas lighting
I am approaching my 25th wedding anniversary with my first and only wife. Perfection is a myth. We are both imperfect people who are willing to reflect, change, love, accept, challenge, tolerate, trade-off, fume, frustrate, and talk. Have we reached the edge of separation and divorce, yes. But we’ve also stepped back and listened to each other. Love is a commitment and a feeling, not just a feeling.
RIGHT YOU ARE Eric! It take Honesty AND COMMITMENT. That means both partners must be mostly Attracted to each other, respect eacher and NOT STEP OUT on the marriage. Too much of that going on in order to cause jealousy or break up without having a Backbone. I agree, nothing is Perfect and if you have the qualities of a "help mate" not a "hurt mate" you will be successful in marriage! Great comment!
Same. Its a struggle at times but I was single 10 years and married life is SO much better. I never wanted children but now I wish we'd had more. If your marriage isn't what you want communicate and make it work for you. Having someone else to take care of and love is beautiful
Looks like you people developed better than others. It has nothing to do with commitment more to do with accepting obstacles. Which most people mentally can't do.
Honestly, in order to have a stable and thriving culture, you need men and women who are actually strong willed, responsible, and self accountable. If society destroys those pillars then it all collapses
The destruction of traditional society in the UK has been by design since WW2. You are absolutely correct about responsibility and accountability, there is very little of both in Western society. I moved to Asia were its against the law to damage someone's public image, the young have huge respect for their elders and the majority have families in there early 20s. Society is booming and full of life. It's truly sad to see my home been turned on it's head and people still not seeing or acting upon how much we are being manipulated by government.
@@TheDionysianFields those without a strong will lack conviction, those without conviction lack purpose. those who lack purpose live in the most despair as their despair is silent, even to themselves.
People realize all modern wars (and even many past ones) are to protect the financial interests of an international clique, not freedom and democracy, or whatever other excuse of choice a regime uses.
Same applies to the men vs women chemistry and the level of entitlement women make, while claiming that they "deserve" everything on an impossible list What they have want, DOES NOT EQUAL, what they deserve.
I stopped hormonal birth control after 4 years and the only thing I have noticed is the depression went away immediately. No more suicidal thoughts. Other than that, nothing changed. But I am glad I am no longer chronically depressed.
There's a price to pay for everything. There are no free lunches anywhere in the universe. So there's bound to be a large price to pay for subverting something as fundamental as one's reproductivity and getting to have unprotected sex to your heart's content.
Same! I was a mess for years, emotional breakdowns, depression, manic behaviour and suicidal. Stopped using the pill and all psychological problem were gone within a month.
Just stumbled upon this vid and I'm extremely impressed. How incredibly refreshing to listen to two very intelligent and articulate people discuss fascinating topics. What a gold mine. This represents the best of what the Internet can offer.
Wow, what a breathe of fresh air when a women talks about modern dating in a logical and statistical approach with zero intent of throwing either groups under the bus. We need more of these women in the front lines talking about societal issues.
She's definitely still selling men short though. Even if selective correlations of low testosterone and low crime at certain times in certain areas wasn't falsely seen as causative, as opposed to something like low self-control from bad upbringings for example, it still shouldn't even be a question that reducing society to complacency through the destruction of male ambition and innovation is not a worthwhile tradeoff.
Deviating from a self-destructive hivemind has constructive consequences. Yes, there will be pain in the short-term. But at least you'll survive *EXTINCTION.* Might be worth considering.
@@hyperteleXii extinction? Interesting choice of words.. I'm 36, single, childless. I want a family but can't get past a 1st or, at best, 2nd date anymore, because men have the same expectations as women, that you will throw yourself at them quickly "if you really like them." Sir, how can I know you after only two dinners that only lasted a few hours??? No, I should've been a single mother. At least I'd have a child.
The reason for drop in lgbt acceptance is that messaging went from live and let live to being endlessly pushed and shoved onto people. And the line kept being pushed into ever more ludicrous territory. Plus No tolerance or grace in the other direction. Even kids and teenagers got sick of it.
It followed the exact trajectory the Christians said it would. Live and let live turned into trans and pedophilia real quick and eroded the family and societal morality. Almost like it’s happened before in Greece and Rome! Weird that!
I agree. Homosexuals are 3% of the population. And yet today they make up 30% of every movie, novel or TV series. There's nothing left for heterosexuals. I think if the same sex marriage vote was repeated in my country, knowing what we know now, it would be overwhelmingly rejected.
A very recent UK study showed that the #2 thing that cured female anxiety/depression was quitting full time work. For men the #1 thing that cured anxiety/depression was finding full time work.
Meaningful work. My work is meaningless and makes me anxious and depressed. And I feel like a significant portion of white collar jobs provide very little meaning.
@@jayl9729 For me, meaningful work is the type that allows me to provide for my family. The job itself doesn't NEED meaning in and of itself, for me anyway. but it the job itself has its own meaning, that's good too. There will always be monotony in daily life, but if you assign a meaning to it, it will become meaningful. My wife went from hating cooking to enjoying it because instead of a laborious chore, it because providing warmth, welcome, and nutrition of her children and husband.
man doing his tradtional role,, women doing their traditional role.. wow groundbreaking. so add one more acceptable option woman wants to pay for her own stuff not have a man pay for her stuff..thats ok too. they used to cal them lesbians and thats ok too.
I literally saw a sign today that states, "Has someone stared at you in a way that made you feel unsafe? Sexual harassment is not allowed on transit. Report it." It's no wonder guys are afraid to walk up to women. Look at them wrong and you could get reported for sexual harassment.
You missed the point where she said people have usually connected through their families, social groups, or activities. Leave women alone who are minding their business.
@@rhmendelsonand of course I am talking about outs side of the families, social circle etc. As having family is harder u will see social circle, friends and family will likely be alot smaller in the future and it will effect more and more people and community, and saying, "leave women alone",is not going to solve the problem in the long run
@@rhmendelsonthe irony of your statement, feminist have said it was an oppressed world in which woman would be destined to marry someone who lived within a 10 mile radius from where they were born, now woman are free and have career, and now you are saying woman will also only marry someone who is a friend of their family members or friends of friends, etc lol. But i agree men and woman should not approach the opposite sex as a matter of fact it should be illegal even in the work place. At work people are there to work, not meet a partner. And the gym people are there to work out, not meet a partner At the store people are there to shop, not meet a partner. Only on a website or through Famiyl can people meet a potential partner. Awesome!
The part where she talked about the “All Or Nothing Marriage” really struck a chord with me. It seems like everyone I’ve ever tried to date expected me to be perfect in every way and I never was up to snuff for them, and so they never gave me a shot at a long term relationship.
Those people will be single forever and by the time they wake up they’ll be past their prime and it’ll be too late. The whole fucking point of a relationship is to grow together. Experiencing hardships together is part of what bonds you with someone. If you never experience anything negative with your partner you don’t really know each other. If you expect to only be with someone who has everything together then you better be okay with staying single for most of your life lol.
It drives me crazy how people can’t comprehend that getting through difficulty in a relationship is a GOOD thing. You learn conflict resolution, how to compromise/negotiate, tolerance, etc. If you can’t tolerate difficult things with another person you’re never gonna be able to bond with a person. It’s literally impossible.
i struggle with that two, with my ex and my now boyfriend, they seem to have this idea, that a good relationship would have zero fights. whenever i had "fights" , i would call it more of an argument, it was never anything serious, and something we would solve immediately right away. and while i felt fine after solving, my bf seems to be stressed, and saying thats its abnormal, and not the best compatible.
As an 85 year old retired aerospace engineer, I was brought up with "traditional family values". That is to say, I expected to one day marry a girl, we would start a family, she would stay at home and take care of the children and the housekeeping, and I would go out and work to support our family. I do believe that in today's world, that has become increasingly difficult to do, what with the rise in the cost of living. Of course, back then we lived in a modest old house which had only one bathroom, no a/c, etc. Property taxes and utilities on our first house were also low/affordable. And we had only one car that was quite old. Women didn't have oral contraceptives. So we were careful. OTOH, my children got married later than I did. But their standard of living is much higher than what I first experienced, what with multiple cars, larger and much more modern houses, children who have to be driven to their after-school activities, etc. So it's all much more expensive now. Are they happier now? That's the question, isn't it.
Yes, the quantity and quality of relationships has decreased greatly. Neighbors dont talk or visit, strangers are feared, very few conversations or actual teaching of one's kids, etc.
As a gainfully employed Aerospace engineer A.E.E.M. Degree employed as a Aerodynamics analyst CFD level 2,what does stating your occupation have anything to do with what you said?!
@@TheFriendlyPsychopath. It’s showing status and what the person was happy with despite their relatively prestigious role. It adds weight to the person’s words. Why did you feel the need to highlight this?
@@jasonriek1986 I’m an aerospace engineer as well, aerodynamic CFD level 2. A 85 year old man stating a job title from 20 years ago has nothing to do with the video.
@@TheFriendlyPsychopath. to a degree it does: it shows perspective, to a degree, level of intelligence, and they finish it off with a good question, after mentioning the level of standard they saw in their own life and then the one from their children. maybe it was to stroke their own ego a bit, but let someone have their little moment would you, it's not like it hurt the overal point.
@@JordanSlaymaker-ls7nhNot really, people always look down to others who they deem inferior or weak. This is why society has a harsh stigma around incels
Never mentioned incels bud 😂 basically what I'm getting at us this. Within any "effective" competition of any sort, collaboration is necessary, however you view the people above and below your current status. Additionally, any collaborative effort, of any kind, will have competitive elements within. It's human nature. Then it's up to us to CHOOSE, how we view and treat those around us. There are several people ik personally who say time and time again, who genuinely mean it, that they despite all of their success have found no greater joy than finding someone "beneath" them whether it be socioeconomically, socially, or any other area of life they excel in and teaching them what they have learned.
I disagree on why young men are becoming more conservative. I believe it's due to the schools including universities, social media and regular TV continually bashing on men that they have fully pulled back.
LOL no. South Asian men are more conservative than their fathers and at times, their grandfathers. The reason is insecure sense of self and lack of identity. The media isn’t only to blame. Because the 10% of men who are not conservative, but liberal, also don’t display insecure sense of self or lack of identity, and have far better chances with women.
Divorce laws ,family court ,female entitlement ,masculinized women ,women's ridiculous standards ,th calling men creep movement.for approach to women and gym culture too ,men being accused of being creeps you.needed to add these things too !!
You can add the false allegations, false accusations, me too ,job discrimination, men also are victimized with affirmative action, quotas for women ,men losing jobs due to automation or jobs leaving the country ,men continued to face abuse from society at large ,women's double standards ,male loneliness ,and more factors ,like discriminatory laws ,suicides ,and more !!
Women acknowledging we've gone too far and women actually actively doing something about it are two very different things. I think most women (over the age of 25ish, i.e. not a current brainwashed college kid and approaching/ past the wall) acknowledge our society has gone overboard with sex positivity, but aren't willing to shoulder the responsibilities and self control that come along with changing it. In short they demand they get to have their cake and eat it, too.
Of course - they're FUBAR for relationships. You can't unsleep with people. For women, it's irreversible damage to their pair bond capacity. So of course they "won't take responsibility" for something that has damaged them forever.
@@chipsteve They live today. They will endure pain future. They won't take responsibility, they will feel the consequences in the future. Women do not look for good men for anything, will look for them in desperation after her 30's. Problem of this paradigm is loneliness is more painful to women than men.
The women that marry, have kids, and have a generally positive outlook on life are "doing something about it" in exactly the way that should be expected of them. As are the men that marry them, of course. It's a two way street, because men also need to take responsibility for their role in the modern dating landscape. If you want quality, be quality. Those men that aspire to decency are likely to find a similarly decent woman that's worth their time and effort. Those that don't inevitably pollute comment sections and message boards with assorted bro-science about "pair bonding" and "hypergamy" in between 15 minute sessions of hardcore porn, all the while thinking that the women of the world collectively owe them something because all that swiping on Bumble hasn't quite worked out the way that they thought it would. Between the dusty cat ladies and the untouchable pornfiends, the solution to our dating woes necessitates far less resentment and finger pointing. It requires we take responsibility for ourselves, build ourselves up, and make an honest attempt at meeting the sort of people that we want to spend our lives with.
I find it interesting that we blame the institution of marriage and not the people married. Marriage requires those in it assume maturity, selflessness, and regard for the other which are traits not seen in our society at present. So what we really have are people who cannot rise to the standards of marriage, not that marriage is outdated or no longer necessary.
Thank you! This is what I've been saying for twenty years. The people who are eighteen to twenty-five, are less and less mentally and emotionally mature than ever before in human history. This is why marriage fails so frequently and why there are so many children in single parent homes. So thank you.
Very well said and sums up an inkling I’ve had for a while. My wife and I never stop evolving to be better for each other. Marriage is about effort, responsibility, accountability, reliability, and selflessness. I’ll be the first to say I fall short in all of these regards, but I will never stop growing and becoming better. From what I see in the world today, others don’t want to do that reflection but rather be accepted however flawed and rigid they are.
I think because of the reasons you gave marriage needs to be changed from it's current form. Something needs to be done to reemphasize the seriousness of the course of action being taken before, not after. Perhaps both parties sit down with separate lawyers and negotiate the contract with real consequences for breaking it? Do the hard-nosed real world stuff first and then get married in the eyes of God or however suits both of you. This would at least wheedle out a few bad actors and those who don't really have a clue what they are doing.
It is just a rephrasing of "when you choose one thing, there is another thing you didn't choose" And of course there are solutions. It depends on the situation and the question. It is by no means a catch all phrase.
RE: The military not being able to recruit. I'm a second gen veteran. Many guys of my age were sons of multi generational veterans. Many of the guys I served with in the Army were also from a long line of veterans, many dating back to the Revolutionary War. There is not one single fellow veteran I know, even the multi generational guys, that want their kid/s to join the military. Endless war/deployments, Anthrax vaccine, C word vaccine, Gulf War Syndrome, Burn Pit issues, Agent Orange, the list goes on and on. We didn't sign up to be the world's police. We signed up because we loved our country.
One thing the military could do is extend the entry ages to match the demands practical average position. The loss of the endless chain of 18 year old's is gone. Mid career 40 year old Males and Females can deal with the supply chain, the item that wins wars by all accounts, moving of arms is on pallets for the past 100 years, I do not get the PT requirements for the middle of the force that might get 3 days on the rifle range during an entire career. If I could have entered the officer core at age 40 or just drive a truck with my life experiences the war fighters could focus on kinetic proficiency, and I can deal with the logistics chain without being x5 the price as a contractor. That is the skill I have been doing for 25 years, getting x to y at time z.
I did two stretches in the Marines. First in peace time. Did my six (2 on, 4 res), got my benefits. Second, 12th of September. You know which year. Amazed at such a small turnout. Little more than 2 dozen at the recruitment ctr. Loved BT the second time round. Knew exactly what to expect. Could laugh at the kids who didn't. "10 miles! But it's raining!" "Okay, we'll make it 20." Kids.
I feel the negative role of social media was overlooked as a contributing factor to young people having less desire to see romance in films. Social media has been and is a large contributor to the problems we're seeing in relationships between men and women. Our youth are well aware of this and don't want to be bombarded with another unrealistic representation that few of them will experience in their lives. They know it's fiction, yet they don't want to be slapped in the face with another unachievable expectation as they see on their social media everyday. I don't claim any expertise, yet this is the first thing that came to mind when this question was raised and I felt it was relevant to mention. The negative impacts of social media on all parts of society never fail to amaze me. Food for thought.
Take any social issue and it's a pretty safe bet that social media is a major contributing factor in fucking it up. Their algorithms actively promote the most toxic, hateful, idiotic comments and viewpoints and are spreading division and hate completely unchecked, and nobody in society seems to care.
I'm of the strong belief that social media is the #1 cause of the destruction of the fabric of society! The reason romance and small gestures like giving A girl flowers are now topics of resentment among the younger generations! Is t social media and dating apps have essentially turned everyone into legal stockers! Someone's profile can summarize information on them. That used to take 2-3 dates A handful of late-night phone calls to gather. That would either make you more interested or less interested in your dating interest! So now all the work of getting to know someone , the time dedicated to finding out if your compatible. Has been widdeled down to A few minutes. Essentially as corporate America would put it is that they've made dating more Efficient. What we've learned about efficiency is that yes it seems to be more productive in one sense. But quality always seems to go down, and the value of human workers being now expendable/replaceable are becoming less and less necessary! Looking at it in those terms. We've taken something that's supposed to be hard work and time dedicated to finding achieving and keeping A relationship. Has become an inefficient waste of our time! Time we should be dedicating to fattening the pockets of corporation's instead. Corporation's who created these apps and every other kind of sexually pleasurable toys etc etc... So you no longer need human to human intimate relationships. Cause they're to time consuming, and time your spending on trying to find and keep A loving relationship with someone. Is time your not spending being A cog in the in America's corporate system of consumerism. So unbeknownst to everyone these corporation's design and develop more "Efficient" I.E. less time consuming, less expensive, cost effective way for you to find your special someone! Basically dating these days is like shopping for A new pair of shoes. You don't like one pair? Well that's OK cause there's A see of millions of other shoes/women/men for the user to choose from at the swipe of A finger! Making dating this transactual thing that dehumanizes the opposite sex into replaceable products. That's why the majority of profile pictures you see on dating and social media. Are of people posing in the most revealing provocatively suggestive ways! Showing themselves in ways that aren't normal for them. Cause subconsciously everyone knows that that picture is the introduction to their profile. So if they want people to visit their profile they've gotta be sexualy alluring. Even though this picture is one of 100 others taken and photoshopped to completely manipulate your appearance. Just to beetout the profile pics on either side of yours to hopefully enhance your chances of finding love! So by making you insecure, and less confident in yourself. That your own self respect diminishes to the point that you become so desperate for someone to validate your sexuality. That you'll display yourself like meat! Hoping that that is going to be what brings you any kind of meaningful relationship. Then months later wonder why the relationship didn't work! Well it didn't work because there's no time energy and work put into building A relationship. Exploiting yourself sexually for the world to see and judge every lil character flaw. Picking apart not just your appearance but you as A person. I think we can all agree that, Every person male or female knows when someone is checking them out! Who doesn't like feeling attractive? Now consider that you don't know what kinds of people are being sexually attracted you. I know when someones looking at me because they think im pretty. I also know when someone whos looking at me is undresing me with their eyes and imagining all the pervy sick sadistic things they want to do to me! We al know that uncomfortable feeling. That feeling that makes us look for recording devices when in public restrooms! Out of fear of being violated and humiliated for somebodies sick voyeuristic pleasures! Yet we'll then post these sexualy suggestive provocative photos of ourselves in hopes of attracting anyone but A sexual deviant! The logic behind it all is fucking ridiculously unrealistic! Like Porn star's expecting to be treated like anything other than A sexual toy for other peoples pleasure! You chose your profession, now you wana wonder why your being followed home by pervs expecting you to be who you portray yourself as in your movies! Or you wonder why the other parents at your kids school never invite you to helpout with afterschool functions. No matter how conservative you dress and portray yourself to be outside of the movie set! Your always going to be seen as A sex worker and A threat to their marriages and to the sexual innocence of their children! If you want something of substance in your life. Modesty is sexier than A naked body that everyone/anybody can see. Relationships are two sided. They dont revolve entirely around you and what you think they should be. Just because you don't always agree doesn't mean it has to end in A power struggle fight with one person eventually submitting to the other in an never ending I'm right your wrong dynamic! And you can't expect that someone's going to check all your expectation boxes! Cause news flash you won't check all there's either! Intact having A checklist of people's characteristics is not only demeaning to your partner. Putting pressure on them to somehow live upto some ridiculously unrealistic standard of expectations. Instead of allowing them to just be themselves. Is only going to create for you A fake superficial relationship that's more for show than anything cause it's based on lies! Go out into the world and meet someone in person. It's literally the only way of knowing if your truly compatible. Profiles lie to make themselves seem like better candidates. But most importantly you cannot sense somebody's pheromones through an electronic device. Pheromones are biologically what relationships really boil down to. You can have all the chemistry in the world online. Talk for hours and actually develope an emotional heartfelt loving connection to someone. Be completely sexually attracted and turned on by this person. All the way up to the point of finally meeting in person. Then for reasons you can't identify be completely ad utterly turned off by them! It's not they're fault they've done nothing wrong. But you just are not attracted to their biological makeup, and really there's nothing you can do to change that. But its something that we as A species have no control over! Long story not so short ditch the apps, devices, and any other form of dehumanizing displays of yourself for others to vote on. As viable ways to find that special someone! All this technology is only driving us farther and farther apart. And creating new opportunities for corporate America to create even more products, solutions, medications, professions etc etc to supposedly help others fill that void! It's A viciously Neverending cycle of situations and solutions that only ever seem to make problems worse In the long-run or creat even more issues. So they can then create more ineffective solutions! The only common factor is that the 1% are always profiting off us! Wether we die or live and especially our happiness mean absolutely nothing to them......
@@charlespancamo9771 it would be if it were true. Social media is filled to the brim with fake people showing the best parts of their life, the highlights, which are also often manipulated to look like good things. People on social media don't show when they're down or the ugly side of their life unless they are searching for pity points. Social media leads you to believe beauty in all "body types" (from being fat to being morbidly obese being seen as beautiful) yet they won't show you how some of the major influencers of the movement have died at a very young age because of their lifestyle. Social media will show you girl boss queens who don't need no man, but won't show you the ones who regret buying into the lie. It will show you trans and non binary in such a positive light, but won't show you why they came to that and what they suffer on a daily basis, as they are worshipped for being mentally ill instead of having them face reality. It won't show you all the ones regretting their transition and suffering or killing themselves over not being able to undo.
Watching this video has been surprisingly refreshing due to the simple fact that Louise was able to state her thoughts and opinions clearly, calmly, and thoroughly when asked to go into greater detail on a specific subject. It gets so exhausting listening to people who have only a cursory knowledge of the subject they are speaking about and have to resort to inflammatory tactics when their ideas cannot bear scrutiny. Thank you to both of you for this video.
It kills me when people say, "We don't need Braun." The people who say that, don't work in construction or any type of heavy duty work. Heavy equipment can't go everywhere. You need Braun in A LOT of places.
Thank you for this truly open constructive conversation. As a german (male) student this feels like someone opening a window and letting fresh air in my mind, when so many students and professors are slowly digging their own wholes with their constructs and rules for moral behavior and thinking.
One of the topics she discusses is chivalry, and she believes that we should never have abandoned it; it should have remained an ongoing institution. However, this notion presents challenges because chivalry was a system that imposed obligations on both men and women. It constituted a framework of mutual obligations, where men had duties towards women, and women had responsibilities towards men. The idea that women had to be chaste, modest, and virtuous was integral to this system. Without women participating in this system, chivalry would not function effectively, as it would devolve into a one-sided arrangement resembling exploitation, where men are obligated to women without reciprocal benefits for themselves.
they ALWAYS talk about the part that MEN have to do and perform and never talk about the things taht women have to do and fix. Its always 'women's lives are so hard! Men should do X in order to fix this because women are in trouble!' which is hilarious because the reason we are where we are is because we listened to women giving them what they want and fixing their problems.... The huge majority of women I would say 99% don't know what they want or what will make them happy! The proof can be see everywhere right now in this day and age. The idea that we should listen to women as disrespectful as it sounds is ridiculous...
They talk about chivalry all the time - but men in the past would never court a +30 year old single mother with an attitude and a body count higher then John Wick.
Oh 100% I have only been in terrible abusive relationships no matter how I dress… no matter how I act and look. Probally due to severe abuse in childhood, I just can’t get it right. now I don’t even talk to men anymore. I’ve been single almost 5 years and it’s peaceful. I’m finally at peace. And peace is my highest form of happiness now.
I have 40 years with my wife three great kids never much money partly because went self-employed to deliberately be able to pick up and take kids to school, swimming, basketball, gymnastics, netball, days out. Best days of my life still have great relationships with wife and kids and I thank God for all of it.
@@MandragaraIf they hadn't married, they probably wouldn't have done all those things. I'm in the 5th year of my marriage and we have a 6 month old baby. Let me tell you, if we hadn't deliberately made it difficult for us to break up, we would've done it multiple times, and for really stupid reasons at that. I'm grateful to my past self for making that decision, for without it I wouldn't know the sheer euphoria of looking into my son's eyes and seeing his face turn into a wide grin. The emotional depth of my relationship with my wife also grew with each low point that we managed to get over.
If you mean if I was in a partnership instead of marriage then nothing. But a marriage in England still gives more security by law for a woman. A committed partnership in principle is no different to a marriage.@@Mandragara
This is so frustrating to me... I don't get why people that are religious always have to thank god for everything. My man, it's YOU that done all of this, it's YOU that brought up a nice family. Please explain to this non believer why god has ANYTHING to do with how your life has run it's course? Maybe you are just a good person my man.. You can't attribute that to god, because we are all created equal right? So why are you happyly married for 40 some years, and the devorce rate is like 50%+ ? I can go on and on with examples but i hope you get the point. PLEASE MY MAN stop attributing everything good in your life to god, and take some fucking satisfaction out of how YOU made your life good. That is all. lol.
I understand what your saying but my faith is in Jesus not religion and only when I found faith did I start to change from being a drug addict liar, thief etc. It really did change my life around thats why I thank God. I was an atheist and would have reacted with stronger sentiments then you, so I know where your coming from.@@frankdehaan9640
She said it’s a hard choice between having men with healthy testosterone levels and men with low testosterone levels, because those with low tend to cause less crime and such. Imagine saying this about women and their fertility levels. It’s just crazy to think that our male youth is being thought of this way that as long as they’re not causing any issues, who cares what their health is.
Rational people, men and women, this is what is needed. Sadly not many men or women fit this description. Men think the problem is women, women think it's men. The truth is it's both, plus other circumstances in our modern society. It's solvable for future generations, but I doubt people will come together and stop pointing the finger at each other. Commodities and transactions, nothing will change until we stop seeing each other primarily for what we can get out of relationships and marriages.
These two have the greatest podcast chemistry. They are both self aware and also very intrigued with each other's perspectives. They both bounce and dare to think out loud without "having to be right". Good stuff!
@@benstandardI’m sure she is, but what does it matter at the end of the day. Most people that find themselves in relationships can find others attractive. It’s whether you act on it that can and will complicate things. Monogamy is a battle in itself unfortunately nowadays.
She's bringing a lot of BS arguments, and he's not even picking that up. For example, about the "status of male spaces". Men want to become fighter pilots rather than kindergarden teachers because it's cool to fly an airplane, but it's a pain to be around children. It's not because it is a "high status male job".
Thank you, Chris, for bringing back Louise Perry on your program. Of all the guests you have featured in the past, she is one of my favorites, and it is an absolute joy to hear from her again. The space where modern male/female relationships are analyzed has devolved so much into irrationality and acrimony. Its in such a contentious environment that calm and rational voices like Perry's are desperately needed. She has a rare gift of being able to deliver harsh truths, backed up by data, with elegance and grace. She is just a pleasure to listen to.
As a man, I can confirm that hints do not work on me. All of my relationships have started with the girl or her friend telling me they are interested. I have never approached a stranger in a bar either.
@@anthonylulham3473FACTS, I remember being in the gym with a friend and some random woman just comes up to me, looks me straight in the eyes is just completely smiling and asks me what I’m doing. I just look at her and tell her “it’s leg day” and she’s waiting for more and I go back to my work out 🤣🤣
Every relationship I had was on bar/clubs and meeting on the streets. I don't like when girl know too much my people at the beginning. If it's go bad she can destroy my reputation. Sorry for my English I'm French.
In dating theory they often refer to meeting people via "warm" and "cold" approaches. Cold approach is they are a stranger (at a bar, via an app, etc.) and warm approaches are you share social circles (church, friends, etc.). Statistically, warm approaches more often lead to successful long term relationships, and this is still the case, even though fewer relationships start this way than they did in the past. This makes sense because there's already a stage of vetting. It's important your SO fits in with your social circles, shares your values etc., and typically warm approaches are selecting for these attributes at the forefront, at least at a much higher rate than cold approaches.
Always blows my mind how women can have a monopoly on the dating matket, set the standard of said dating market, but incapable of fixing any problem or understand why they have problems in this market. It doesn't have to be perfect but to make no attempts at fixing it at all is just crazy
I think it's because (if I recall correctly it was mentioned toward the beginning of the video) have to most to lose, are the most at risk when making these changes in the dating market that people so desire. So realistically, women don't have a monopoly on the dating market, because 90% of the time if they make the wrong step, their lives are largely negatively impacted by it. This is where balance comes into play. If men, who are less at risk, implement change on standards in the market, and women ride the wave of the changes that actually work, you'll see change. That's my little hypothesis on it.
@planet_mogwai9310 that goes for all markets though. Take Disney's current market for example: women, feminism and generally anti-tradional themes. Disney is also losing more money than they are producing because the original target audience that gave it money is not being catered to. You absolutely can lose a lot more of something if you have direct influence on it. I also disagree on the idea of women having more to lose. Because what they have to sacrifice if very minor compared to what men have to sacrifice to compete in. Nevermind maintaining your place in the market, just getting in already imbalanced. Even if there are men that have a firm place in, it's women who decide on which men stay.
@LiteDnBFnatic yeah I'd just have to disagree on that then. I'm not at all saying that women don't have a great influence. I'm saying risks in romantic pursuits are being taken by women because it is often times impacts their life. So influence or not, standards will remain the same because "if it ain't broke don't fix it" and it's not worth the downsides that come with pioneering into new territory. Dr. Hill, the Dr. That was referenced multiple times in this video, affirms this idea. Casting aside culturally harbored threats like sexual violence and domestic homicide, women's lives are put at much more risk just from the act of sex alone. Childbearing can result in death. Women are more likely to contract STDs from sex, even if they are in the same sexual pool as men. A woman's brain and body changes upon conception. None of these risks do men face nearly as much as women, hence why they are often risk takers in other avenues. So as I said earlier, I still think the solution is to have men set their own standards, and women follow the ones that present the least amount of risk and fosters a healthy environment.
@planet_mogwai9310 we might be arguing different points then. You're argument is sexual risk. I'm not disagreeing with that. I'm arguing that before sex is even discussed, she's responsible for who she wants to be with in the first place. So if women raise the standard for men to be with them, fine, but to complain about no men being available because of the new standard is asinine. All I'm saying
Both Chris and Louise made for an EXCEPTIONAL debate! I almost forgot to breathe while taking in all the rich and cogent talking points! THANK YOU, this was a treat for the mind!
My husband and I have been happily married for 15 years. He is now the primary breadwinner and I take care of the kids and home. We have a happy and balanced life. It’s not perfect but both of us feel satisfied. I’m a very independent person and I had a great corporate career previously but the life we’ve built together is wonderful.
my wife got to be in the home with the kids. As they got to teenage years she started up piano lessons again - for a number of years and then became a piano teacher too. She's touched the lives of many children by now. There have been some amazingly inately talented students along the way. Has been a great side business because she can throttle how many students she takes on so that she can have time for other things. Now there are grandchildren so got to have time for that :-) Me thinks you two took the optimal path.
The only downside is costs of living are just gonna keep going up and paycheck will remain the same putting more stress on your husband and all of you causing more stress and conflicts..Todays economy doesn't allow that many stay at home moms..
100% disagree that women make better employees for mid level non physical jobs. My wife works in a huge multi national company in an all female team. It is absolutely brutal in a 14 year old schoolgirl kind of way - back biting, reputation destroying and excommunication from cliques - men simply wouldn't put up with it but these women will buy each other a birthday present while knifing each other in the back. Women are just as antisocial and unpleasant in the workplace just in a very different way.
@@NateWilliams-h8q you’re anecdotal stories been nothing! You can find plenty of women who have stories of men being sloppy, rude, indecent, lazy and gossipy!
Totally agree... As a woman I preferred working in balanced or predominantly teams, as team member or leader. While men could be 2 faced, it did seem to be less prevalent
this woman is highly intellectual, i appreciate her viewpoint because i have had no good role models of women in my life, most of them have been completely evil, the other half just deluded. this woman is a breath of fresh air in addition to being absolutely radiant
I loved being a mother! Best unpaid job I ever had. I also loved homeschooling. What an honor and privilege to develop the next generation of humanity!❤
amen - am husband to a wife that stayed in the home as the kids were growing up. Now there are grandkids. People are immensely missing out if they don't have a family and then invest in their kids - as opposed to warehousing them off to govt institutions to shape who they become
Home schooling groups are amazing. I have been so impressed by the diversity and kindness I have seen (Mormons and Muslims learning math, reading, science and each others’ faith).
Did you have a hubby bringing home the bacon? Because if you did, your job as a mother wasn’t unpaid, it’s just that your pay was in the form of him putting a roof over your head, food on the table, clothes on your backs, the water and lights on, giving you kids to love and raise, and a bit of sex and romance when the occasion was right, etc. None of those things are free (no, not even sex and certainly not romance), all of them have a dollar cost, and if he was working a job to pay them, that’s how the cost of your motherly labors was being paid. And that, contrary to the rhetoric man-hating feminists, is not a bad thing at all. It’s how most men and women naturally function.
Modern women are winning but only in the immediate hedonistic sense. All the pleasure, all the fun, all the pursuit of self-gratification and chasing excitement is heavily tilted toward women. Where they lose, and it's extremely difficult to appropriately highlight the terrible losses because they're not immediate, is in the long term, over their lifetime. For biological reasons, women are handed unimaginable advantages in their youth. However, if squandered, if underappreciated, if misunderstood as to why and for how long these massive advantages exist, this results in what we're seeing with the sharp increase in the phenomena of cats and boxed wine: no family, no children, no purpose in life beyond feeling good in the moment. That only goes so far and will run out eventually.
Couldn’t have said it better myself Logan. If women aren’t happy with the current dating market, tell them to cry me a river because they’re the ones that created it.
A few years ago, in my local library I browsed a book written by a woman, for women, to advise them on how to navigate then (then) primarily male world of business. One section told women that it was not appropriate to wear, at the office, skirts that are too short, dresses that are too low-cut, or sweaters that are too tight, because the inspire insane animal urges in men, not conducive to getting work done. It noted that 75% (!!) of women did not understand this. They thought such clothes were simply fashionable. This sort of thing, and the business of a woman not understanding when an awkward guy is interested in her, makes me wonder of the idea of superior emotional intelligence of women needs to severely qualified. THanks for an, as usual, excellent discussion.
When someone asks, "what does Gwyneth Paltrow have to do with Goop?" it's an indication that they don't know that Goop is her company. You might want to make it clear at that point.
RIGHT?! I have two sisters and an old school-ish father, and they were constantly pestered about wearing any revealing clothing as young teens, and I remember feeling conflicted as a younger brother about their feelings. Once I was in the prime of my pubescent years, and coming into my manhood, all I could think was, "Thank you Dad!" hahaha. I love my sisters, and one was the victim of sexual assault. I have faith in humanity, but as they say in the conversation: "Everything is a tradeoff" & to paraphrase, "it's the rational way to behave and operate within the confines of the reality of our current world. Ideals for a safer, more mature, and equal society are all good and dandy, and should be strived for. However, we are not there yet."
@@XanderMuze You are totally right. And I'm sorry to hear about your sister. About that last statement, about ideals, I don't think we'll ever be at a state where people are more mature and places are more safe. Imo, they will always exist. We normal people can only care for each other when it does happen and safe guard against those people/environments
I never thought about it that way. If you have one woman who is of normal weight and fitness (in shape) and you have her best friend (female) who is overweight, technically both females are in competition for men. If the fit woman encourages her best friend to embrace her weight, that then pushes most men towards the woman who is in shape and eliminates her friend from taking the men in their community.
Perhaps but i think those weight body "positive" movements, exists more to placate women insecurities then anything else. (basically cope) I mean i never seen nothing of that in relation to men, last time i checked there wasnt male plus sized models for magazines... but there is no shortage of female plus sized models for magazines.. which are changing their tune because they lost tons of money trying to push for those body positive agendas.
Why, yes, that's how it should work in THEORY. But in practice, what with Lizzo being a role model, nowadays, the "body positivity" movement actively glorifies obesity, and claims being fit and taking care of yourself is an act of hate and discrimination, because "you hate fat people so much you actively work to not look like them". So in reality, the obese friend will just resent her fit one, for not wanting to let herself go.
@@daikatarokamegawa542 Doesn't alter the scenario of the obese friend's self-satisfaction with extra weight leading more men to seek out fit girlfriend.
It should be more promoted in media, in movies how amazing children are. The love towards children has no boundaries ( with some unfortunate exceptions). The media promotes movies about violence, sex, criminals etc.😢 When you constantly feed people with those topics they are even more depressed and isolated.
Marriage has become too risky for men. What's handed over to women who need no great reason to dissolve the marriage is often wildly unfair and leaves him shackled financially to a woman who in all likelihood treats him like crap. The failure rate is huge. If you wanted to get marriage insurance there wouldn't be a company that would touch it
I love how women leave a marriage and expect that man to keep paying for her lifestyle. She leaves the marriage yet expects to keep a lifestyle that only existed because of marriage.
@@joannetilly4586 i said it... most of the people in prison are form single oarent families. mostly women. So therefore single parent families are an issue. I didint think it was a tough to correlate
That's more a correlation to poverty. Wealthier single parent homes or lesbian couples both raise well adapted children in terms off college educated and successful on average or above average.
@@daketh4572 you have to takie into account more and have more data to get that conclusion - that this is the only reason. But it's not - especially if we are talking USA.
@@sonderexpeditions Wrong, poor families with both parents in the household, or a poor single father household have both the same success rate when it comes to raising children with good outcomes. It is only the single mother household that is linked to all the negative outcomes for children in society.
"women were largely financial prisoners" So were men. It was law that men assumed all financial liability generated by their wives. In many states in the U.S. this is still the case, more or less.
Lol, they still had more freedom than women. And often took their frustrations on women due to financial stress. Aka why feminism is for men as well. You don't need to be trapped in the role of provider. Just like women deserve more than being an incubator.
The reality is that marriage is still useful in modern society, but we as people have made it seem less meaningful and valuable. Some couples rarely ever take their vows seriously, we are easily influenced by agendas of independence being pushed on us, and the rise of OF, sex having low market value, and the promotion of polygamy and polyamory has made monogamy look like a joke.
Thank you for delivering a sober conversation. Both were excellent in dealing with reality on reality’s terms. How difficult relationships have become when a more middle, centre ground is so very much needed. Thank you for taking it there. Not all women are angry feminists and not all men are mysogynists, sexists and chauvinists and that space needs to be created where spiritual, emotional, physical and sexual boundaries can be openly discussed and defined without alleging one another as a feminist or chauvinist. Thank you for doing that here.
I avoided the clips you posted because a Louise Perry interview deserves to be viewed in its entirety and complexity. Fantastic interview as always Chris, thanks.
This is the first time I have heard of Louise; she is very articulate and intelligent. Watching her explain some of these issues that I was completely oblivious to was a pleasure. I wholeheartedly agree with her take and am lucky to be the very last generation to grow up before smartphones became mainstream for teenagers. I am also lucky to be happily married for about 16 years to a woman who is definitely more traditional.
They can't cry you a river because all the drugs + plus the pill has made it extremely hard for them to cry. Their hormones are that out of wack. But they can piss, brown purple due to big pharma. would you access that?
Perhaps they were given what they were told they wanted, and sold on the idea that getting these things would make them inherently happy and fulfilled, and now many of those who bought the ideas which were sold to them by groups with vested interest, are quickly finding that those things don't give them sustaining happiness and meaning. So what they need more than ever is for men to step up and be the leaders they were designed and destined to be. But there are many men who use the way the world is as an excuse to be weak and eternally juvenile. The world is in desperate need of real men and any men who rise to their destiny, despite the way "the world is" will find that their world restructures itself around them when they step into their roles of real masculinity and it will attract complimentary femininity, by creating a polarized space for it.
@@nimapocalyse9569 Men only invest in society and become "real men" when there is a reward on the horizon. 60 years ago, this reward was to get a young feminine wife with no/low bodycount and with no kids to start a family and grow old with. Today, 80% of men have a hard time getting women in their prime. Most would need to settle for being second or third choice for a 35yo single mother that slept around in her 20s (with the "exciting" men that never comitted to her) and will divorce him 10 years later because she is not happy. So, many men just check out of society and focus on their hobbies.
I live in South Korea as a teacher. Next year the number of elementary-aged school kids entering the system will drop below 400 000. By 2027 that number is set to drop below 300 000. Wild.
I agree that young people are so against romance. As a millennial, I grew up wanting my "prince charming." But I see so many gen Z women talk about how their career is the most important thing, they want to focus on it and not date until their 30's, and just being in situationships instead of a relationship. When I was in my 20's dating, situationships weren't common, you were either facebook official or single. And at the same time, the romance novel industry is massive and gen Z loves it too. It's odd, I feel like the "career is everything" mindset is pushed on young women, which is odd because being a corporate wage slave isn't meaningful.
But as a millennial why don't you date other millennial who might find you Prince Charming by chance or work out to be Princess Charming as well to fit your ideal? Or you find millennials too old for you to give them a chance? That's good too but then you might get stuck failing dates with a whole generation of indifferent young women just because you have too high a standard for an average millennial.
But expecting some random relationship in the future to make you happy isn't too. The thing with the job is about independence, if you end up in a bad relationship, you can leave, you have your money. Something that alot of women in the past couldn't do.
The massive expense to men of getting married is crazy, the ring, paying for the wedding, the honeymoon etc. Then in a few years the women just divorces them. The cost benefit is no longer there.
It's a bad deal period and common sense. Over the last 300 years, men have gotten more or less of the same, or LESS from marriage. Whereas women are getting more, in the form of legal rights (specifically in relation to marriage) and general opportunities.
Don't forget women expect you to contribute more financially even though they work to so they can spend the money they earn on material things like clothes, hand bags, makeup, nice cars, etc. Marriage in the west is a joke.
Men know the sacrifice. If there women divorce then thats on them. I can't have pity on the men marrying in the current climate and being oblivious to consequences.
She quoted a trans person that said something like when you transition, you then become dependent on the kindness of everyone to play along forever. It's not exactly that. You become dependent on the cowardice of everyone to lie to you, to your, face for the rest of your life. Oof.
She was being kind about it. As someone who worked with "transvestites" in NYC 30+ years ago, they knew they were not real women, even though some had boob jobs. Today, they are convinced they are real, biological women, because the actual *medical field* tells them they can "fully transition" to the opposite gender with some hormones and the slice of a knife. It's criminal.
@@PlayfulJoyfulNope, we won't. The vast majority of dudes will not call you selfish. But they will warn you of how lonely you will be sitting in that nursing home with no kids to visit you. Oh I forgot, that's "misogyny" 😂. Nevermind, keep making those mistakes and wondering why you're unhappy!
“We clearly have free will but what we consider to be normal, desirable, the life template is so incredibly dependent on what people around us think” which is why we got on this downward spiral of terms of fertility
I have to push back on her comment about the idea of women not needing men being true. There are two women in my family who said they didn't need a man their entire lives. And around the age of 65 its starting to show. And now me and everyone else in the family has to deal with their insane bulls**t all the time. Really think about this before you act on it, so that someday your insane nonsense doesnt affect those around you if you end up being wrong.
She means financially and in the satisfaction of immediate needs like food, water, shelter, etc. Men do still provide additional safety, but the narrative is that they are only providing safety from other men.
She seems so disconnected with men and doesn't call out women and their mistakes. Women seems to be whereever they are: "sisters before society." Society is doomed and we will see it happen in slow motion.
@@C12341 I respect her insight and knowledge and her choices to be a traditional woman with family and a career. I just think that it stops short of coming up with solutions. Kind of an apologist. If you want to see what she doesn't want to admit: there are two videos about "women rating men but their rizz" and "men rating women by their rizz". See how much power women have and how easy men are to talk to and see how hard men have to "work" to rizz a few girls. Men didn't go anywhere, they are the same as they have always been. Women were the ones who are responsible for everything that is happening today. And that is where she stops at: calling out women who are responsible for out demise as a healthy society.
I have the solution julian Ive not watched this 90 minutes yet I heard her very first comment and it was off putting Im about to watch it now. She was invited last week in London as a special guests at the ARP with Jordan Peterson she seemed articulate enough there. But here on this video her very first comment was odd and way off so it got me curious to read few comment before the 90 min watch. I have a massive global solution to all this. Sadly though my documentary is months away. Construction worker with an incrediblly simple yet huge solution but Im suspended in gaffa with my thoughts. I can't type out the plan here to strangers in comments section. Im telling you 110% I have the fix for youth and the dismanteledness both sexes are facing. You'll just need to look 6-12 months from now for a new way of life that Ive invented. I have a huge problem sit in my car and film me talkign with the solution. Contact my local film school students to film it. This creates fees and also royalties. Google says if you make your own film noone can own 50% royalties. I dont wanna make money I want my plan to become heard on all 4 corners of the earth. These elite talkers the masters degrees specialists in their field havent lived amongst the problem so with several dozen 1 hour specials Ive watched in the last 5 years the common denominator is they talk in theory. These people were all born into well fed homes and have no real clue where to find the answer to men and women drifting apart. Kinda like they walk around like Jodie Foster did in Silence Of The Lambs with the night goggles on. Everyone keeps searching through debate and discussion for the answer and no one can see it. @@julianmarco4185
"She seems so disconnected with men....etc" Yes, Thank you for saying that. I was thinking the same thing and went back a few times to see if I missed something.
In both cases as a man you get figuratively "f*cked". Traditional relationship, you need to carry most of the risk, solve most of the problems and carry most of the burden, it's mostly all on you and if you do not "man up" every time, you are treated as a failure by your family and society, also it's a myth that you get your needs met. Modern relationship, you get treated as optional and can be replaced at any moment and society will tell you it's your fault, because you were not "man" enough, but remember being a "man" is toxic, and there is always the one that is better and you will be dumped. BUT society worries that in the traditional relationship the WOMAN is not treated fairly, and in the modern relationship and dating scene the WOMAN does not find happiness. REMEMBER tough everything is Patriarchy... I'm sorry why are man opting out of society? Oh yeah, they are too weak...
Who gives birth and risks their lives and has to give up their identity again? who get to be a parent and still have an identity outside of the home. who's career accelerates after becoming a parent? Who'd body is for ever changed after giving birth?
@@sarcodonblue2876 sounds like traditional roles. Or understandings that used to be respected You should preach to the modern ladies. It’s them that need to hear it (DO NOT IGNORE OR FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID, but yes, men also need to be men again. Enough video games. Enough pr0n. Enough being a manchild. Grow up, learn stuff, learn to be a man Learn how to fix your car, how to fix stuff around your house, how to do your taxes, etc etc BE MEN AGAIN. Even without women. Do it for yourself. Again, to who I commented to, don’t forget what I said first; tell the ladies what they need to hear as well.)
@@onward2727 agreed. I have a man like that and honestly, I didn't realise how rare he is. There's a level of quiet confidence you get from being with a competent man that's hard to explain. I just know he's got us and whatever comes our way. Competence is massively underrated.
@@onward2727It's good for men and women to be self sufficient. But people shouldn't be forced into traditional gender roles. Many women don't want to be housewives and many men don't want to be breadwinners.
I think another reason sex is disliked in our entertainment is that Hollywood goes to it too much. It's become a cheap crutch to catch audience attention, a substitute for writing compelling interesting stories.
Brilliant. :) What a joy to listen to/watch. You guys' chemistry is great. I think.. you having Louise more frequently...in some sort of 'series' would be really really good for all parts. Thanks so much for this, Kudos
Grew up in an alchoholic abusive family in the 1960's. My parents were miserable and ended up hating each other. The 4 kids were the true victims watching this since we were toddlers. I never got married or had kids. Why would I after going through all that sadness & trauma? Even though I never married, I never had an abusive realtionship with any of my girlfriends. Still friends and in touch with 3 of them.
We had similar upbringing, and took similar paths. I had no desire for children after growing up seeing my mother as a prisoner to my father, and our wants & needs. They have always seemed so disappointed in my choices, and I have (at times) told them I didn't want to live the life my mother lived. It's mind-boggling they are still together, but it's mostly because older Italian ladies brought shame on the family for divorcing.
@@DavidEidenYou're wrong because his experience is the experience of the majority of people...I don't know any happily married couples... starting with my own parents, I can count my grandparents and my sisters too...The world is as it is and not as it should be...and that's especially true regarding relationships between men and women... it's a mess... it's ugly...no wonder some people compared love and war...So I think that's an argument against marriage and parenthood...they are necessary evils to keep our species alive...but on an individual level in our current society they are liabilities. I see human sexuality a divine mistake...
1:04:58 As a man who chronically assumes women aren't interested in me, it's disheartening to hear I've actually been overestimating their interest this whole time.
We're in this boat together buddy. And I actually believed when a few have said they thought I was cute or charming. Its all just niceties to avoid hurting feelings, doing us a disservice more than anything else.
I always found that stat interesting because I’ve also seen a stat saying men underrate their value on average and women overrate their value (in the eyes on other people). I guess perceiving others as interested in you and how much value others see in you is different though.
I think the primary reason that women are choosing to have less children is that we don’t have a community to help us raise our children. In previous generations, women had a community of moms aunts and sisters who contributed to our labor of child rearing. In addition to that we are also working full time outside of the home. We need to work professionally to take care of ourselves so we are opting out of unpaid labor of having a family.
I 100% feel you on that. I remember my parents dropping me off at my grandparents when they went to work. Considering my grandparents helped my parents look after me while they went to work, then the Baby Boomers should know that we are entitled to them watching our children while we go to work. I am entitled to my parents watching my children when I go to work because I remember them dumping me at my grandparents house while they went to work. Boomers are just selfish and lazy and don't want to do anything.
I agree, and there’s also such an easy first step to this solution that nobody wants to let on, and that’s involving fathers and granting them just as much rights as parents. This would keep fathers much more involved and able to stay involved in children’s lives… At least in America we have striking issues regarding maternity and paternity leave; it should be mandated by law and be equal lengths for mothers and fathers of course. Treat fathers as important as the mothers in children’s lives… shocking revelation right.
The most comprehensive account on the social-moral contract between the sexes. Historically and in the present day. I will save this video and use it as a reference whenever I get on topic in a discussion. Thank you for producing this.
Why would men die before they listen to the women who are just asking for things they can give? Women are supposed to drop their civil rights as Americans because men are annoyed? Such a temper tantrum
@@TanyaAppalavich What you mean by things men can give? have crossed your mind, that perhaps men cant give you want you want? i think looking at what is happening to men, and boys, its much more deep, and troublesome then just being merely annoyed... it is clearly a systematic issue, that is leading a big growing portion of young men disengaging with society altogether. Not just women, and marriage and dating, but also education and the work force. You might want to continue press on the issue on "civil rights" as if women dont have more privileged lives then most men already, and ignore mens issues at your peril, because society as a whole will pay the piper anyway
Well that is what is going to happen, we will be gone as a people, and culture given time, and be replaced by a culture were people actually reproduce.
With all due respect to my sisters, I hope not. There are a lot of men hurting in the Western world right now and they have every reason to be upset. You attract what you are. If you want a nice man, you have to be a nice woman, it's as simple as that. If you aren't, and you want to blame men for all the wrongs of the world, treat them like disposable se.x toys or walking, free dinner-dates , you are a long way away from being ready for a relationship.
yeah.. they seldol hold women accountable.. they blame men for not being able to handle a woman when they (women) make more money but never acknowledge that women become bad people when they make more money.. they lose respect for the guy, start bossing the guy around etc.
@@philjudd3473 Let your heart be at ease that there is a purpose to this process. Women had their sexual revolution decades ago; you are having yours now. That's why there is turmoil and traditional definitions of masculinity are being challenged. The new man is being born from the ashes of the old. A man who is self aware and will not allow himself to be treated like a pack mule, prize stallion or walking charity-bank, a man who understands his value and his contributions to society and will walk away if people try to treat him poorly. As you should. And, as always, it is the men in society who fix it. Just like the men fix the telegraph poles, sewer drains and all of the other unpleasantness, our broken society will be repaired and renewed because of the contributions of our menfolk. ❤
@@Krichnu Oh, come on! I've heard plenty of boomers and gen X-ers, and millennials perpetuating toxic discourse. Assigning all the blame to zoomers is exactly the kind of thinking that I mean by "the general darkening of public discourse" and what I praised Chris & Louise for _not_ taking part in.
It sounds intelligent, but anyone that has knowledge into this can see all the bs being spew. That woman, for example, is Projecting a LOT of things she believes or feels onto what other people might be thinking or believing. Things she doesn't know, things she has no data on and things she is completely incorrect. And she's supposed to be an expert. I bet there are some videos debunking this around. I rather watch those. They might actually have data to back claims and not just biased interpretations.
@@joshanonline Dude you really are making a fool of yourself. You assume without evidence that she has no data and then you proceed to say that you "believe there is a debunking video" so that means you don't know anything about the subject since you need a debunking video that doesn't even exist.
The idea that women make better employees in the office is interesting. I'd love to see the study that shows this as in my experience this is largely not the case. When a company has an equality target (which many do nowadays) I often see women promoted simply on the basis that they can do the job to a basic level, and will help the company hit their target, rather than them being the best candidate for the role.
Affirmative action in government agencies is mandatory quotas now; the incompetent advance way beyond their level of competence while quality men eventually leave.
@SeveredLegs I would argue that women in the workplace are not more agreeable then men, in fact quite the opposite. You see men's disagreeability is tempered in the workplace by how competent and commited they are. If as a man you are highly competent then part of that (in managment at least) is being able to communicate effectively and therefore this is a natural barrier for those men that are essentially incapable of being agreeable. However when your main drive is to hire a woman because of equality requirements it becomes a basic standard of competence and then about the fact that they are a woman. The sad fact is that the sex of the applicant should have no bearing at all on whether they are consider the best candidate but is often the definitive factor. I say this as someone who has worked in senior management for over a decade and had to deal with these rules. It's not just sex, it's ethnicity as well, but sex is far more "important" when considering these factors from a company perspective. I should add that it was a female manager that started me in my professional development towards management and some of the best employees I've had were women, however those women earnt their place and worked hard for it. I'm not saying women "cant" do the job, but I'm saying that when a company HAS to promote a woman, then it diminishes the value of the work that woman put into her career as well as the men who were passed up on. And sadly the woman will never know whether she was the best person for the job or just the right sex
I would even argue that, in the workplace, women are being subsidized by men. When a male employee grinds out a multimillion dollar contract he doesn't get a penny over his wage. When a DEI HR woman drives away five high performing men, she loses not even a penny of her wage. That having been said, women dominating HR is more likely to be the driver of female success in the workplace.
@@UltraChongkak Woman dont want to see other woman succeed though so i dont mind it being all pretty girls in HR working parttime.. I like talking to them as a man. Having a woman manager is another thing.
I asked a girl out the kther week. Got rejected. And that was fine. I was literally just proud of myself for gettinn it done. Sonce then the two of us are thankfully adult enough to still speak, zero awkwardness. And thats how it should be. The taboo around asking women out in person instead of hding behind an app has gotten so strong. Its a real shame.
@@nightkingxx dude if any woman has ever asked you out you're in the 1%... If you live in the west. In the east it may be a different story, very different values over there. We all fucked up over here 🤣
My wife and I fulfill traditional gender roles in our family and it works wonderfully. I'm a sufficiently well-earning engineer and she gets to stay home with the children. We discussed what would give both of us the most happiness and sense of accomplishment in life, and for her, staying at home and raising the children was her highest priority. My highest was protecting and providing for my family by working a job that could pay enough without having to work overtime. My wife also expressed a desire to do something that wasn't just child-focused and that would use her English degree, so we decided that she could spend whatever free time she had while I was away to continue writing and freelance editing. My next highest desire was to love and teach my children in the home, so when I come home from work I always do my best to spend time with the kids to give her a break. It works wonderfully! We don't have the most money, the biggest house, the hottest bodies, or the most exciting lives, but we have lots of love, fun, and respect for each other and it totally makes life worth the struggle.
A privileged position that is impractical for average individuals in the current capitalist mode i.e. whereby the desire for cheap labour has driven wages through the floor.
Thanks to you your wife gets the best of both worlds: no boss, no targets, no clock ins, no deadlines and she gets to pursue her dreams and stay at home while the kids are in school and see them grow up, and your kids come home to a mother, priceless, she won big time. Men are underappreciated in society for this daily sacrifice.
My husband and I live a tradional lifestyle as well. It is so fulfilling. We both feel supported, secure and happy. Our children have both parents and we both devote our spare time exclusively to having experiences and quality time as a family. We have well behaved children who behave because they respect and love us. We are a strong, successful and united couple. . It saddens me when I see people trashing a way of life that has worked for a centuries. Women and men are shamed for our strengths and differences. Many people blind to the benefits of this lifestyle and have been far less successful in the pursuit of happiness. Men and women are not equal. We are different, we have different strengths and weaknesses . Neither is superior or more valueable than the other. In my family we embrace this and it creates a balance in our relationship. We all have a choice in how we want to live. The left needs to stop shaming people who are choosing to live in our gender roles. Abuse and coercive control seem to be the narrative with a traditional marriage. There is abuse in all kinds of relationships. Being traditional does not equate abuse, the perpetrator does. A modern traditional family makes decisions together, the husband invests in thier wives and children. They share household and childhood responsibilities and sometimes women work. This is not oppression.
I don't want to see more sex in movies because I'm not going to cinema to watch porn, I'm going there to see art, the reasons Louise Perry came up with are mind boggling to me
Couldn't agree more. To me it's such a waste of time and I want a refund for the time I'm forced to watch a love scene. I'm a millenial if that changes anything.
It's ok not to be much interested in sex or even to feel uncomfortable with it... I am 55 years old, far way from millenials sexuality, sexually active thanks to my beloved woman, and I love a beautiful sex scene, the problem I see in most films and series is that they tend to depict mostly rough, very passionate sex, which is fine, but definitely not the best sex you can have, not to compare with intimate, loving, deeply caring sex...
fully agree. Sex in movies is painful to watch for me. I want either to see an interesting movie or series, or I'll go on the hamster site and find all kind of diverse and satisfying videos.
It took a long time for me to warm up to and actually watch Mr. Robot because the casual sex in the pilot made it hard to empathize with the character. It didn’t make me uncomfortable or anything. I just know I struggle to obtain casual sex, and Elliot is struggling with so much more, it just seems ridiculous that he can easily get laid. Guys like THAT don’t.
I don't think that description is necessarily accurate. Elliot doesn't easily get laid in general; he's very much the opposite of a ladies' man, and when you factor in how his and Shayla's relationship is explained and explored later, it kind of makes sense. Not to mention that drugs often remove inhibitions.
@@keylanoslokj1806Are you from the Uk? I’m in my twenties and have mild autism but it wasn’t picked up on because it looks different in women. I just came across a bit anxious. I’ve only recently been on the path to an official diagnosis and want to meet more autistic people.
@@Gn3rd It’s not that I don’t believe that dynamic doesn’t happen. It definitely would have been believable in the 90s and ‘00s. But in the last decade, that’s fallen apart. Like they pointed out here, about a third of men 18 - 25 haven’t even approached a woman ever in their lives. I think if the character were written for the newest generation of adults, he would hardly talk to women at all.
@@keylanoslokj1806 We're in this together buddy. As a neuro-atypical 33 yo who is always told he looks cute and strikes good convo, I just cant seem to find anyone interested in me. Men with mental issues are just seen as liabilities by women. Thats fair, I guess.
I've been taking notes like mad while listening to this conversation. You are both great at breaking down these cultural and societal problems. Thank you for this content.
There is a rapidly growing number of young men with no prospects in life, nothing to do, and feel not just alienated, but outright attacked by their society. You know know what the inevitable conclusion of these conditions are. The bread and circus can only last so long.
Chris is clueless. People are not getting married because marriage is a bad idea for men. Women decide who has sex. Men decide when marriage is initiated.
@@ilikepancakes2368 It is practically always. It's a duty for man and reward for a woman. If it represents a duty, commitment to you, you'll naturally be picky about it. You strive for the reward, and consider expenses. Means to an end or an end itself.
The problem I have witnessed is women, in Gen X and Gen Y, have been using men to get them through the hard years of child rearing, to then dispose of them (taking everything they can get on the way out, of course) because they never really wanted them in the first place. Marriage has become a legal grifting opportunity to get everything women want in life. And, obviously, being in a family in their retirement years is not on their list. My son, 8, has already said he doesn't want to be married. He wants to live his life with his friends, of which zero are girls. At 6 years old, he has seen his mother ruin his fathers life, take what's left, and leave him for her own selfish, single lifestyle. From the time he was 3, family meant everything to him, and now he's seen his own mother reck his, for nothing more than personal satisfaction. You now have three generations of kids, Millenials, Gen Z, and the next, who are now reacting this (I'll call it trama) by abstaining from relationships. How many of these women do you think care about that? They've chosen themselves over their children; over having large family dinners when they're grandmothers (which they likely will not become). Children are selfish narsacists because it's a natural survival instinct. But if you don't discipline them into being adults when they're growing up, they continue to make short-term decisions with no regard for their, or anyone elses future. Ironically, this seemingly flagrant freedom will ultimately make them more dependent on the government than ever before.
I think it's unfair to blame all Gen X women. If your wife is Gen X and your son is only eight your wife must have been pretty old when she settled, probably too old to make the change. I'm Gen X, I've been married over thirty years. My children are grown up and married with children. And my alpha gkids are confident they will marry and have children when they grow up. It's also important to take into account that eight year olds are, to use the psychological term, sexually dormant and most prefer to play with children of their own sex. Your son may view things differently at 14 or 15.
You should have chosen a better wife. You passed up lots of nice women who would’ve been loyal to you and treated you like a King. Your wife displayed red flags and you decided to ignore them because she gave you butterflies in your tummy. Take accountability for your poor choice in a wife. 😂
@@daddydiavolo8378 He does not need to take accountability. Women initiate over 70% of divorces. And no, it is not the men's fault. The divorce rates in lesbian marriages are even higher - no man to blame there. Modern women are divorcing because they are not "feeling completely happy".
@@Yomel123 So women who file for divorce are freaks? Given that the divorce rate is 60% and 70% of divorces are filed by women - that would make alot of women freaks.
Hello you legends. Get a free list of my 100 favourite books - chriswillx.com/books/ Here's the timestamps:
00:00 Is Marriage Still Useful?
02:38 Society is Becoming More Prudish
11:52 Young People’s Views on Sex in Movies
15:05 Birth Control is Making Weak Men
20:19 The Gen-Z Pushback Against Romance
25:23 Is Patriarchy the Best System?
27:54 How Culture Impacts Our Views of Sex
33:00 Are Women Happier Now Than 70 Years Ago?
43:55 10 Years On From #MeToo
55:20 Why Men Aren’t Approaching Women
1:10:49 The Mental Health Crisis of Girls
1:19:09 Do Pedophiles Need Sympathy?
1:23:08 Why Women Support Body Positivity
1:27:50 The Normalisation of Cosmetic Surgery
1:38:14 Where to Find Louise
More Louise! She’s so nuanced and bright and always brings new information instead of the same old cynical “we’re doomed”
welcome to the end of economic prosperity and the decline of society
i think that uncertainty is a bad breading ground for relationships
(at my own job i see a lot of devorced men women have bf's fast after device or dending a relationship)
look at the rate women use anti depressives things like valium speepingpills and xanex it's true the roof
I like the "hello you beauties" greeting more. Please, Chris, call us beauties as often as you can 😅
13:22 wish they had taken this poll or study when I was young. Graduated 20 years ago, from high school. Never been on the pill. Just find it cringe..and I’ve felt that way since I was a kid. High sex drive..
Had a student when I taught in prison. He bragged about having 4 baby mama's. I asked him how it felt not being part of his kids' lives. How they would grow up without a father. He shrugged, "I grew up without my pops, and I turned out okay." He seemed oblivious to the fact that he was in prison and would be for another 12 years. Yeah. he turned out just fine. Created 4 more customers for the prison system to profit from in the future. Good job.
Good job not holding 5 women accountable for their choices
@@ShaunHensley its both people's fault. Like the video said, women are the ones who have to face the consequences of casual sex due to biology. Why didn't the guys just use protecttion?
Well said.
Common sense not so common
@@milkshrekpastaHow about not sleeping with straight up criminals? You think guys who act like thugs, care about using protection?
This 1h40m interview was uploaded 7 minutes ago, and already there are people posting that are either strongly agreeing or disagreeing with it.
You don’t watch things at 1000x speed? Pfft. Pleb.
naturally
Probably because they know their comments are most likely to be viewed now or never.
Hi everyone happy holidays from my wife and I!
Thumbnail police
I see this all the time with YT videos now.... My only conclusion is that people are only reacting to the THUMBNAIL. It saddens me because then reasonable people get baited into responding to a vapid comment. I love comments but even I have to admit they're getting worse every year.
True story in my family. My grandma was known to be the most beautiful woman who also had the prettiest hair in the village. Her friends essentially convinced her to bleach her hair because it would've made her look better. This resulted in her having to cut off most of her hair...They then laughed at her and called her stupid for falling for it.
I can believe that. She was a threat so they sought to bring her attractiveness down. This is also happening in entertainment.
Anecdotally, I was invited to bring gifts to a baby shower. Problem being I'm male. I pointed this out and was rounded on. As it being female only is not a thing anymore.
I brought said gift and was repaid with mockery and laughter and had it pointed out that baby showers are a female affair.
Lesson learnt. Trust your life experience, what your eyes see and your ears hear. Beware of gas lighting
@@ryanfairfoot263those people sound cruel and mildly evil.
@@ryanfairfoot263literally delete them
@@D3sdinova You just described most of humanity.
When men insult each other they never mean it, when women compliment each other, they also never mean it.
I am approaching my 25th wedding anniversary with my first and only wife. Perfection is a myth. We are both imperfect people who are willing to reflect, change, love, accept, challenge, tolerate, trade-off, fume, frustrate, and talk. Have we reached the edge of separation and divorce, yes. But we’ve also stepped back and listened to each other. Love is a commitment and a feeling, not just a feeling.
RIGHT YOU ARE Eric! It take Honesty AND COMMITMENT. That means both partners must be mostly Attracted to each other, respect eacher and NOT STEP OUT on the marriage. Too much of that going on in order to cause jealousy or break up without having a Backbone. I agree, nothing is Perfect and if you have the qualities of a "help mate" not a "hurt mate" you will be successful in marriage! Great comment!
Same. Its a struggle at times but I was single 10 years and married life is SO much better. I never wanted children but now I wish we'd had more. If your marriage isn't what you want communicate and make it work for you. Having someone else to take care of and love is beautiful
Looks like you people developed better than others. It has nothing to do with commitment more to do with accepting obstacles. Which most people mentally can't do.
Love is what someone has with their pets.
😍
Honestly, in order to have a stable and thriving culture, you need men and women who are actually strong willed, responsible, and self accountable. If society destroys those pillars then it all collapses
Men and women have to be able to work together. This isn’t happening.
The destruction of traditional society in the UK has been by design since WW2. You are absolutely correct about responsibility and accountability, there is very little of both in Western society. I moved to Asia were its against the law to damage someone's public image, the young have huge respect for their elders and the majority have families in there early 20s. Society is booming and full of life. It's truly sad to see my home been turned on it's head and people still not seeing or acting upon how much we are being manipulated by government.
(((all according to plan)))
Why strong willed?
@@TheDionysianFields those without a strong will lack conviction, those without conviction lack purpose. those who lack purpose live in the most despair as their despair is silent, even to themselves.
men don't want to fight and die for a country that hates them
Nope
People realize all modern wars (and even many past ones) are to protect the financial interests of an international clique, not freedom and democracy, or whatever other excuse of choice a regime uses.
Nope. Everyday, working class men are more willing to die for their country in countries that are dictatorial and oppressive towards them.
Same applies to the men vs women chemistry and the level of entitlement women make, while claiming that they "deserve" everything on an impossible list
What they have want, DOES NOT EQUAL, what they deserve.
What about the opposite?
I stopped hormonal birth control after 4 years and the only thing I have noticed is the depression went away immediately. No more suicidal thoughts. Other than that, nothing changed. But I am glad I am no longer chronically depressed.
That's a pretty big "only thing" 😅
That's a HUGE thing. You could have just as easily not be alive.
I am happy for you, thanks for sharing
There's a price to pay for everything. There are no free lunches anywhere in the universe. So there's bound to be a large price to pay for subverting something as fundamental as one's reproductivity and getting to have unprotected sex to your heart's content.
Same! I was a mess for years, emotional breakdowns, depression, manic behaviour and suicidal. Stopped using the pill and all psychological problem were gone within a month.
Just stumbled upon this vid and I'm extremely impressed. How incredibly refreshing to listen to two very intelligent and articulate people discuss fascinating topics. What a gold mine. This represents the best of what the Internet can offer.
Fascinating topics? Lol.
Wow, what a breathe of fresh air when a women talks about modern dating in a logical and statistical approach with zero intent of throwing either groups under the bus. We need more of these women in the front lines talking about societal issues.
Those women who do not tow the sisterhood line will get slandered and labeled pick me, you can't deviate from the hive mind without consequences.
@@Saberdudif you're not called a pick me, you're called "unhealthy" or a "prude". I've said many of the things she's said.
She's definitely still selling men short though. Even if selective correlations of low testosterone and low crime at certain times in certain areas wasn't falsely seen as causative, as opposed to something like low self-control from bad upbringings for example, it still shouldn't even be a question that reducing society to complacency through the destruction of male ambition and innovation is not a worthwhile tradeoff.
Deviating from a self-destructive hivemind has constructive consequences.
Yes, there will be pain in the short-term. But at least you'll survive *EXTINCTION.*
Might be worth considering.
@@hyperteleXii extinction? Interesting choice of words.. I'm 36, single, childless. I want a family but can't get past a 1st or, at best, 2nd date anymore, because men have the same expectations as women, that you will throw yourself at them quickly "if you really like them." Sir, how can I know you after only two dinners that only lasted a few hours??? No, I should've been a single mother. At least I'd have a child.
The reason for drop in lgbt acceptance is that messaging went from live and let live to being endlessly pushed and shoved onto people. And the line kept being pushed into ever more ludicrous territory. Plus No tolerance or grace in the other direction. Even kids and teenagers got sick of it.
It followed the exact trajectory the Christians said it would. Live and let live turned into trans and pedophilia real quick and eroded the family and societal morality. Almost like it’s happened before in Greece and Rome! Weird that!
Completely agree.
Being straight is now an act of teenage rebellion
The true nature of the movement is being revealed.
I agree. Homosexuals are 3% of the population. And yet today they make up 30% of every movie, novel or TV series. There's nothing left for heterosexuals. I think if the same sex marriage vote was repeated in my country, knowing what we know now, it would be overwhelmingly rejected.
A very recent UK study showed that the #2 thing that cured female anxiety/depression was quitting full time work. For men the #1 thing that cured anxiety/depression was finding full time work.
citation? very interesting!
Citation is all of human history.
Meaningful work. My work is meaningless and makes me anxious and depressed. And I feel like a significant portion of white collar jobs provide very little meaning.
@@jayl9729 For me, meaningful work is the type that allows me to provide for my family. The job itself doesn't NEED meaning in and of itself, for me anyway. but it the job itself has its own meaning, that's good too.
There will always be monotony in daily life, but if you assign a meaning to it, it will become meaningful. My wife went from hating cooking to enjoying it because instead of a laborious chore, it because providing warmth, welcome, and nutrition of her children and husband.
man doing his tradtional role,, women doing their traditional role.. wow groundbreaking. so add one more acceptable option woman wants to pay for her own stuff not have a man pay for her stuff..thats ok too. they used to cal them lesbians and thats ok too.
I literally saw a sign today that states, "Has someone stared at you in a way that made you feel unsafe? Sexual harassment is not allowed on transit. Report it." It's no wonder guys are afraid to walk up to women. Look at them wrong and you could get reported for sexual harassment.
You missed the point where she said people have usually connected through their families, social groups, or activities. Leave women alone who are minding their business.
@@rhmendelsonand of course I am talking about outs side of the families, social circle etc.
As having family is harder u will see social circle, friends and family will likely be alot smaller in the future and it will effect more and more people and community, and saying, "leave women alone",is not going to solve the problem in the long run
Buddy that is literally sexual harassment, leave women alone
@@rhmendelsonthe irony of your statement, feminist have said it was an oppressed world in which woman would be destined to marry someone who lived within a 10 mile radius from where they were born, now woman are free and have career, and now you are saying woman will also only marry someone who is a friend of their family members or friends of friends, etc lol.
But i agree men and woman should not approach the opposite sex as a matter of fact it should be illegal even in the work place.
At work people are there to work, not meet a partner.
And the gym people are there to work out, not meet a partner
At the store people are there to shop, not meet a partner.
Only on a website or through Famiyl can people meet a potential partner.
Awesome!
Just don’t look at them at all. Zero eye contact.
The part where she talked about the “All Or Nothing Marriage” really struck a chord with me. It seems like everyone I’ve ever tried to date expected me to be perfect in every way and I never was up to snuff for them, and so they never gave me a shot at a long term relationship.
You are really quite fortunate, whether you believe it or not: AVOID WOMEN!
Those people will be single forever and by the time they wake up they’ll be past their prime and it’ll be too late. The whole fucking point of a relationship is to grow together. Experiencing hardships together is part of what bonds you with someone. If you never experience anything negative with your partner you don’t really know each other.
If you expect to only be with someone who has everything together then you better be okay with staying single for most of your life lol.
It drives me crazy how people can’t comprehend that getting through difficulty in a relationship is a GOOD thing. You learn conflict resolution, how to compromise/negotiate, tolerance, etc. If you can’t tolerate difficult things with another person you’re never gonna be able to bond with a person. It’s literally impossible.
i struggle with that two, with my ex and my now boyfriend, they seem to have this idea, that a good relationship would have zero fights. whenever i had "fights" , i would call it more of an argument, it was never anything serious, and something we would solve immediately right away. and while i felt fine after solving, my bf seems to be stressed, and saying thats its abnormal, and not the best compatible.
@@rainbows5232Modern society tends to bash on men and so it's little (or no) surprise at all that men have trust issues with modern women.
As an 85 year old retired aerospace engineer, I was brought up with "traditional family values". That is to say, I expected to one day marry a girl, we would start a family, she would stay at home and take care of the children and the housekeeping, and I would go out and work to support our family.
I do believe that in today's world, that has become increasingly difficult to do, what with the rise in the cost of living. Of course, back then we lived in a modest old house which had only one bathroom, no a/c, etc. Property taxes and utilities on our first house were also low/affordable. And we had only one car that was quite old.
Women didn't have oral contraceptives. So we were careful. OTOH, my children got married later than I did. But their standard of living is much higher than what I first experienced, what with multiple cars, larger and much more modern houses, children who have to be driven to their after-school activities, etc. So it's all much more expensive now.
Are they happier now? That's the question, isn't it.
Yes, the quantity and quality of relationships has decreased greatly. Neighbors dont talk or visit, strangers are feared, very few conversations or actual teaching of one's kids, etc.
As a gainfully employed Aerospace engineer A.E.E.M. Degree employed as a Aerodynamics analyst CFD level 2,what does stating your occupation have anything to do with what you said?!
@@TheFriendlyPsychopath.
It’s showing status and what the person was happy with despite their relatively prestigious role. It adds weight to the person’s words.
Why did you feel the need to highlight this?
@@jasonriek1986 I’m an aerospace engineer as well, aerodynamic CFD level 2. A 85 year old man stating a job title from 20 years ago has nothing to do with the video.
@@TheFriendlyPsychopath. to a degree it does:
it shows perspective, to a degree, level of intelligence, and they finish it off with a good question,
after mentioning the level of standard they saw in their own life and then the one from their children.
maybe it was to stroke their own ego a bit, but let someone have their little moment would you,
it's not like it hurt the overal point.
In society of overly competitive individuals, there is no room for love and compassion.
Everybody wants to rule the world.
That’s pretty insightful
Not always true. There is competition within effective collaboration, and collaboration in effective competition. It's nuanced.
@@JordanSlaymaker-ls7nhNot really, people always look down to others who they deem inferior or weak.
This is why society has a harsh stigma around incels
Never mentioned incels bud 😂 basically what I'm getting at us this. Within any "effective" competition of any sort, collaboration is necessary, however you view the people above and below your current status. Additionally, any collaborative effort, of any kind, will have competitive elements within. It's human nature. Then it's up to us to CHOOSE, how we view and treat those around us. There are several people ik personally who say time and time again, who genuinely mean it, that they despite all of their success have found no greater joy than finding someone "beneath" them whether it be socioeconomically, socially, or any other area of life they excel in and teaching them what they have learned.
I disagree on why young men are becoming more conservative. I believe it's due to the schools including universities, social media and regular TV continually bashing on men that they have fully pulled back.
LOL no. South Asian men are more conservative than their fathers and at times, their grandfathers. The reason is insecure sense of self and lack of identity. The media isn’t only to blame. Because the 10% of men who are not conservative, but liberal, also don’t display insecure sense of self or lack of identity, and have far better chances with women.
Divorce laws ,family court ,female entitlement ,masculinized women ,women's ridiculous standards ,th calling men creep movement.for approach to women and gym culture too ,men being accused of being creeps you.needed to add these things too !!
You can add the false allegations, false accusations, me too ,job discrimination, men also are victimized with affirmative action, quotas for women ,men losing jobs due to automation or jobs leaving the country ,men continued to face abuse from society at large ,women's double standards ,male loneliness ,and more factors ,like discriminatory laws ,suicides ,and more !!
@rainbows5232 ...
fake news
Women acknowledging we've gone too far and women actually actively doing something about it are two very different things. I think most women (over the age of 25ish, i.e. not a current brainwashed college kid and approaching/ past the wall) acknowledge our society has gone overboard with sex positivity, but aren't willing to shoulder the responsibilities and self control that come along with changing it. In short they demand they get to have their cake and eat it, too.
Yes. The 🧱 is an excellent teacher...
Or it just makes them bitter and they go and ruin other, younger women. I think for the millenials that'll probably be the case.@@asdfasdf-te8oc
Of course - they're FUBAR for relationships. You can't unsleep with people. For women, it's irreversible damage to their pair bond capacity. So of course they "won't take responsibility" for something that has damaged them forever.
@@chipsteve They live today. They will endure pain future. They won't take responsibility, they will feel the consequences in the future. Women do not look for good men for anything, will look for them in desperation after her 30's. Problem of this paradigm is loneliness is more painful to women than men.
The women that marry, have kids, and have a generally positive outlook on life are "doing something about it" in exactly the way that should be expected of them. As are the men that marry them, of course. It's a two way street, because men also need to take responsibility for their role in the modern dating landscape. If you want quality, be quality. Those men that aspire to decency are likely to find a similarly decent woman that's worth their time and effort. Those that don't inevitably pollute comment sections and message boards with assorted bro-science about "pair bonding" and "hypergamy" in between 15 minute sessions of hardcore porn, all the while thinking that the women of the world collectively owe them something because all that swiping on Bumble hasn't quite worked out the way that they thought it would.
Between the dusty cat ladies and the untouchable pornfiends, the solution to our dating woes necessitates far less resentment and finger pointing. It requires we take responsibility for ourselves, build ourselves up, and make an honest attempt at meeting the sort of people that we want to spend our lives with.
I find it interesting that we blame the institution of marriage and not the people married. Marriage requires those in it assume maturity, selflessness, and regard for the other which are traits not seen in our society at present. So what we really have are people who cannot rise to the standards of marriage, not that marriage is outdated or no longer necessary.
Thank you! This is what I've been saying for twenty years. The people who are eighteen to twenty-five, are less and less mentally and emotionally mature than ever before in human history. This is why marriage fails so frequently and why there are so many children in single parent homes. So thank you.
@@Andrea-zm1nl nah up to 35 or 40 not 25 lol.
Very well said and sums up an inkling I’ve had for a while. My wife and I never stop evolving to be better for each other. Marriage is about effort, responsibility, accountability, reliability, and selflessness. I’ll be the first to say I fall short in all of these regards, but I will never stop growing and becoming better. From what I see in the world today, others don’t want to do that reflection but rather be accepted however flawed and rigid they are.
I think because of the reasons you gave marriage needs to be changed from it's current form. Something needs to be done to reemphasize the seriousness of the course of action being taken before, not after. Perhaps both parties sit down with separate lawyers and negotiate the contract with real consequences for breaking it? Do the hard-nosed real world stuff first and then get married in the eyes of God or however suits both of you. This would at least wheedle out a few bad actors and those who don't really have a clue what they are doing.
Well said! 👏🏿
There are no solutions, just trade offs.
Sounds like life in a nutshell. Great conversation!
Thomas Sowell
@@greg.ocallaghan Yep. You beat me to it. :)
Women expect to choose what they want without there being any consequences. Not trade offs.
It is just a rephrasing of "when you choose one thing, there is another thing you didn't choose" And of course there are solutions. It depends on the situation and the question. It is by no means a catch all phrase.
So what exactly is the trade off for men who can't get laid or meet partners?
My wife smiled at me in a crowded college hallway after I got out of class, and we've been married working on 52 years now.
Amen brother
Yes.
That’s adorable!
That's absolutely useless information for any man looking for love or marriage but kudos I guess
RE: The military not being able to recruit. I'm a second gen veteran. Many guys of my age were sons of multi generational veterans. Many of the guys I served with in the Army were also from a long line of veterans, many dating back to the Revolutionary War. There is not one single fellow veteran I know, even the multi generational guys, that want their kid/s to join the military. Endless war/deployments, Anthrax vaccine, C word vaccine, Gulf War Syndrome, Burn Pit issues, Agent Orange, the list goes on and on. We didn't sign up to be the world's police. We signed up because we loved our country.
One thing the military could do is extend the entry ages to match the demands practical average position. The loss of the endless chain of 18 year old's is gone. Mid career 40 year old Males and Females can deal with the supply chain, the item that wins wars by all accounts, moving of arms is on pallets for the past 100 years, I do not get the PT requirements for the middle of the force that might get 3 days on the rifle range during an entire career. If I could have entered the officer core at age 40 or just drive a truck with my life experiences the war fighters could focus on kinetic proficiency, and I can deal with the logistics chain without being x5 the price as a contractor. That is the skill I have been doing for 25 years, getting x to y at time z.
Good this is the only way to stop the US from being forced into endless wars
Thank these kids.
Let women/trans join the military!
I did two stretches in the Marines. First in peace time. Did my six (2 on, 4 res), got my benefits. Second, 12th of September. You know which year. Amazed at such a small turnout. Little more than 2 dozen at the recruitment ctr. Loved BT the second time round. Knew exactly what to expect. Could laugh at the kids who didn't. "10 miles! But it's raining!" "Okay, we'll make it 20." Kids.
@@garythomas4936 Let!!?? Conscript. Go directly to front lines.
I feel the negative role of social media was overlooked as a contributing factor to young people having less desire to see romance in films. Social media has been and is a large contributor to the problems we're seeing in relationships between men and women. Our youth are well aware of this and don't want to be bombarded with another unrealistic representation that few of them will experience in their lives. They know it's fiction, yet they don't want to be slapped in the face with another unachievable expectation as they see on their social media everyday. I don't claim any expertise, yet this is the first thing that came to mind when this question was raised and I felt it was relevant to mention. The negative impacts of social media on all parts of society never fail to amaze me. Food for thought.
What does that actually feel like?!🤔
Take any social issue and it's a pretty safe bet that social media is a major contributing factor in fucking it up. Their algorithms actively promote the most toxic, hateful, idiotic comments and viewpoints and are spreading division and hate completely unchecked, and nobody in society seems to care.
I'm of the strong belief that social media is the #1 cause of the destruction of the fabric of society! The reason romance and small gestures like giving A girl flowers are now topics of resentment among the younger generations! Is t social media and dating apps have essentially turned everyone into legal stockers! Someone's profile can summarize information on them. That used to take 2-3 dates A handful of late-night phone calls to gather. That would either make you more interested or less interested in your dating interest! So now all the work of getting to know someone , the time dedicated to finding out if your compatible. Has been widdeled down to A few minutes. Essentially as corporate America would put it is that they've made dating more Efficient. What we've learned about efficiency is that yes it seems to be more productive in one sense. But quality always seems to go down, and the value of human workers being now expendable/replaceable are becoming less and less necessary! Looking at it in those terms. We've taken something that's supposed to be hard work and time dedicated to finding achieving and keeping A relationship. Has become an inefficient waste of our time! Time we should be dedicating to fattening the pockets of corporation's instead. Corporation's who created these apps and every other kind of sexually pleasurable toys etc etc... So you no longer need human to human intimate relationships. Cause they're to time consuming, and time your spending on trying to find and keep A loving relationship with someone. Is time your not spending being A cog in the in America's corporate system of consumerism. So unbeknownst to everyone these corporation's design and develop more "Efficient" I.E. less time consuming, less expensive, cost effective way for you to find your special someone! Basically dating these days is like shopping for A new pair of shoes. You don't like one pair? Well that's OK cause there's A see of millions of other shoes/women/men for the user to choose from at the swipe of A finger! Making dating this transactual thing that dehumanizes the opposite sex into replaceable products. That's why the majority of profile pictures you see on dating and social media. Are of people posing in the most revealing provocatively suggestive ways! Showing themselves in ways that aren't normal for them. Cause subconsciously everyone knows that that picture is the introduction to their profile. So if they want people to visit their profile they've gotta be sexualy alluring. Even though this picture is one of 100 others taken and photoshopped to completely manipulate your appearance. Just to beetout the profile pics on either side of yours to hopefully enhance your chances of finding love! So by making you insecure, and less confident in yourself. That your own self respect diminishes to the point that you become so desperate for someone to validate your sexuality. That you'll display yourself like meat! Hoping that that is going to be what brings you any kind of meaningful relationship. Then months later wonder why the relationship didn't work! Well it didn't work because there's no time energy and work put into building A relationship. Exploiting yourself sexually for the world to see and judge every lil character flaw. Picking apart not just your appearance but you as A person. I think we can all agree that, Every person male or female knows when someone is checking them out! Who doesn't like feeling attractive? Now consider that you don't know what kinds of people are being sexually attracted you. I know when someones looking at me because they think im pretty. I also know when someone whos looking at me is undresing me with their eyes and imagining all the pervy sick sadistic things they want to do to me! We al know that uncomfortable feeling. That feeling that makes us look for recording devices when in public restrooms! Out of fear of being violated and humiliated for somebodies sick voyeuristic pleasures! Yet we'll then post these sexualy suggestive provocative photos of ourselves in hopes of attracting anyone but A sexual deviant! The logic behind it all is fucking ridiculously unrealistic! Like Porn star's expecting to be treated like anything other than A sexual toy for other peoples pleasure! You chose your profession, now you wana wonder why your being followed home by pervs expecting you to be who you portray yourself as in your movies! Or you wonder why the other parents at your kids school never invite you to helpout with afterschool functions. No matter how conservative you dress and portray yourself to be outside of the movie set! Your always going to be seen as A sex worker and A threat to their marriages and to the sexual innocence of their children! If you want something of substance in your life. Modesty is sexier than A naked body that everyone/anybody can see. Relationships are two sided. They dont revolve entirely around you and what you think they should be. Just because you don't always agree doesn't mean it has to end in A power struggle fight with one person eventually submitting to the other in an never ending I'm right your wrong dynamic! And you can't expect that someone's going to check all your expectation boxes! Cause news flash you won't check all there's either! Intact having A checklist of people's characteristics is not only demeaning to your partner. Putting pressure on them to somehow live upto some ridiculously unrealistic standard of expectations. Instead of allowing them to just be themselves. Is only going to create for you A fake superficial relationship that's more for show than anything cause it's based on lies! Go out into the world and meet someone in person. It's literally the only way of knowing if your truly compatible. Profiles lie to make themselves seem like better candidates. But most importantly you cannot sense somebody's pheromones through an electronic device. Pheromones are biologically what relationships really boil down to. You can have all the chemistry in the world online. Talk for hours and actually develope an emotional heartfelt loving connection to someone. Be completely sexually attracted and turned on by this person. All the way up to the point of finally meeting in person. Then for reasons you can't identify be completely ad utterly turned off by them! It's not they're fault they've done nothing wrong. But you just are not attracted to their biological makeup, and really there's nothing you can do to change that. But its something that we as A species have no control over! Long story not so short ditch the apps, devices, and any other form of dehumanizing displays of yourself for others to vote on. As viable ways to find that special someone! All this technology is only driving us farther and farther apart. And creating new opportunities for corporate America to create even more products, solutions, medications, professions etc etc to supposedly help others fill that void! It's A viciously Neverending cycle of situations and solutions that only ever seem to make problems worse In the long-run or creat even more issues. So they can then create more ineffective solutions! The only common factor is that the 1% are always profiting off us! Wether we die or live and especially our happiness mean absolutely nothing to them......
If they see it on their social media everyday then clearly it is quite acheivable
@@charlespancamo9771 it would be if it were true. Social media is filled to the brim with fake people showing the best parts of their life, the highlights, which are also often manipulated to look like good things. People on social media don't show when they're down or the ugly side of their life unless they are searching for pity points.
Social media leads you to believe beauty in all "body types" (from being fat to being morbidly obese being seen as beautiful) yet they won't show you how some of the major influencers of the movement have died at a very young age because of their lifestyle.
Social media will show you girl boss queens who don't need no man, but won't show you the ones who regret buying into the lie.
It will show you trans and non binary in such a positive light, but won't show you why they came to that and what they suffer on a daily basis, as they are worshipped for being mentally ill instead of having them face reality. It won't show you all the ones regretting their transition and suffering or killing themselves over not being able to undo.
Watching this video has been surprisingly refreshing due to the simple fact that Louise was able to state her thoughts and opinions clearly, calmly, and thoroughly when asked to go into greater detail on a specific subject. It gets so exhausting listening to people who have only a cursory knowledge of the subject they are speaking about and have to resort to inflammatory tactics when their ideas cannot bear scrutiny.
Thank you to both of you for this video.
It's refreshing, isn't it?
it's a nice hallmark of this channel in general honestly, very engaging interview style here.
And none of her opinions were questioned.
Yeah… This guy isn’t that smart. Jock “wisdom” but he certainly has marketed himself well.
What does 'inflammatory tactics' mean? I did check on google, returns med-related links ;)
It kills me when people say, "We don't need Braun." The people who say that, don't work in construction or any type of heavy duty work. Heavy equipment can't go everywhere. You need Braun in A LOT of places.
Agree I'm in mining sector and you definitely need a lot of muscle working with that equipment.
Braun? Brawn?
Thank you for this truly open constructive conversation. As a german (male) student this feels like someone opening a window and letting fresh air in my mind, when so many students and professors are slowly digging their own wholes with their constructs and rules for moral behavior and thinking.
One of the topics she discusses is chivalry, and she believes that we should never have abandoned it; it should have remained an ongoing institution. However, this notion presents challenges because chivalry was a system that imposed obligations on both men and women. It constituted a framework of mutual obligations, where men had duties towards women, and women had responsibilities towards men. The idea that women had to be chaste, modest, and virtuous was integral to this system. Without women participating in this system, chivalry would not function effectively, as it would devolve into a one-sided arrangement resembling exploitation, where men are obligated to women without reciprocal benefits for themselves.
they ALWAYS talk about the part that MEN have to do and perform and never talk about the things taht women have to do and fix. Its always 'women's lives are so hard! Men should do X in order to fix this because women are in trouble!' which is hilarious because the reason we are where we are is because we listened to women giving them what they want and fixing their problems.... The huge majority of women I would say 99% don't know what they want or what will make them happy! The proof can be see everywhere right now in this day and age. The idea that we should listen to women as disrespectful as it sounds is ridiculous...
Right she does. But of course doesn't acknowledge who really killed it. Answer Women. Women killed it. They have the society they helped shape.
this is nonsense.
@@swetsTV how is this nonsense that's not an argument
They talk about chivalry all the time - but men in the past would never court a +30 year old single mother with an attitude and a body count higher then John Wick.
My sister (a Catholic) has told me that there's a word for women who use cycle tracking as birth control. That word is "Mom".
We need to keep birth control. And improve upon it.
My (Catholic) response: That's supposed to be the goal.
😂😂😂
@@ChickFenwickNo one will ever improve it because big pharma benefits from all of the medical detriments.
@@glassjester As she has 7 kids, she'd likely agree. (She's a doctor - so she knows the math. And they can afford 7 kids.)
Oh 100% I have only been in terrible abusive relationships no matter how I dress… no matter how I act and look. Probally due to severe abuse in childhood, I just can’t get it right. now I don’t even talk to men anymore. I’ve been single almost 5 years and it’s peaceful. I’m finally at peace. And peace is my highest form of happiness now.
I have 40 years with my wife three great kids never much money partly because went self-employed to deliberately be able to pick up and take kids to school, swimming, basketball, gymnastics, netball, days out. Best days of my life still have great relationships with wife and kids and I thank God for all of it.
If you hadn't married, but still done all of those other things, what would have been different?
@@MandragaraIf they hadn't married, they probably wouldn't have done all those things. I'm in the 5th year of my marriage and we have a 6 month old baby. Let me tell you, if we hadn't deliberately made it difficult for us to break up, we would've done it multiple times, and for really stupid reasons at that. I'm grateful to my past self for making that decision, for without it I wouldn't know the sheer euphoria of looking into my son's eyes and seeing his face turn into a wide grin. The emotional depth of my relationship with my wife also grew with each low point that we managed to get over.
If you mean if I was in a partnership instead of marriage then nothing. But a marriage in England still gives more security by law for a woman. A committed partnership in principle is no different to a marriage.@@Mandragara
This is so frustrating to me...
I don't get why people that are religious always have to thank god for everything.
My man, it's YOU that done all of this, it's YOU that brought up a nice family.
Please explain to this non believer why god has ANYTHING to do with how your life has run it's course?
Maybe you are just a good person my man..
You can't attribute that to god, because we are all created equal right?
So why are you happyly married for 40 some years, and the devorce rate is like 50%+ ?
I can go on and on with examples but i hope you get the point.
PLEASE MY MAN stop attributing everything good in your life to god, and take some fucking satisfaction out of how YOU made your life good.
That is all. lol.
I understand what your saying but my faith is in Jesus not religion and only when I found faith did I start to change from being a drug addict liar, thief etc. It really did change my life around thats why I thank God. I was an atheist and would have reacted with stronger sentiments then you, so I know where your coming from.@@frankdehaan9640
She said it’s a hard choice between having men with healthy testosterone levels and men with low testosterone levels, because those with low tend to cause less crime and such. Imagine saying this about women and their fertility levels. It’s just crazy to think that our male youth is being thought of this way that as long as they’re not causing any issues, who cares what their health is.
She isnt the brightest bulb.
Women aren't known for being the brightest.
@@Cbd_7ohmmen say shit like this and then wonder why women don't respect them
testosterone = aggressiveness is a fallacy anyway.
@@lavenderbambi3501 this whole channel is dedicated to incel cope lol
wow this is neither feminist or misogynistic, just straight up facts and smart rational people discussing about things.
sliding on the surface....
Love that!
Appart from him defending Nazi methods, interesting indeed.
Rational people, men and women, this is what is needed. Sadly not many men or women fit this description. Men think the problem is women, women think it's men. The truth is it's both, plus other circumstances in our modern society. It's solvable for future generations, but I doubt people will come together and stop pointing the finger at each other. Commodities and transactions, nothing will change until we stop seeing each other primarily for what we can get out of relationships and marriages.
I loved this conversation. nothing better than an open dialogue, no arguing, no sides. Just facts and observations
Indeed. It's incredibly refreshing and insightful
These two have the greatest podcast chemistry. They are both self aware and also very intrigued with each other's perspectives. They both bounce and dare to think out loud without "having to be right". Good stuff!
She's definitely attracted to him.
@@benstandard He’s ok but he’s said some pretty dumbass things too in the past.
“Wisdom.” Hahahahha 😂
@@benstandardI’m sure she is, but what does it matter at the end of the day. Most people that find themselves in relationships can find others attractive. It’s whether you act on it that can and will complicate things. Monogamy is a battle in itself unfortunately nowadays.
She's bringing a lot of BS arguments, and he's not even picking that up.
For example, about the "status of male spaces". Men want to become fighter pilots rather than kindergarden teachers because it's cool to fly an airplane, but it's a pain to be around children. It's not because it is a "high status male job".
Thank you, Chris, for bringing back Louise Perry on your program. Of all the guests you have featured in the past, she is one of my favorites, and it is an absolute joy to hear from her again. The space where modern male/female relationships are analyzed has devolved so much into irrationality and acrimony. Its in such a contentious environment that calm and rational voices like Perry's are desperately needed. She has a rare gift of being able to deliver harsh truths, backed up by data, with elegance and grace. She is just a pleasure to listen to.
Well said 👌🏽
Ever hear the expression "strike while the iron's hot"?
I nearly scrolled past the thumbnail. I assumed it would be a clip from the previous interview. So glad I did not.
(2:08) "We do clearly have free will..."
I know a few physicists who would strongly disagree with this...
Her book is a must read for young women.
We talk our selves in circles , it's very simple. TV and social media are the biggest factors in influencing young people especially young women
Yeah,...sure....only women....🙄
@@watchdog6619 They said especially, not only. Learn to read.
@@mr.mayhem4054 Oh shit you're right, my bad 😩
@watchdog6619 women are the easiest to manipulate. They consume the most and are less independent thinkers than men
there's one step beyond that. come on, you can do it.
I really enjoy thoughtful, respectful conversation between well-read and intelligent people.
As a man, I can confirm that hints do not work on me. All of my relationships have started with the girl or her friend telling me they are interested. I have never approached a stranger in a bar either.
Oh I don't see subtlety either.
She's smiling at me, guess I'll smile back. I'm glad she's having a nice day. *leaves*
@@anthonylulham3473FACTS, I remember being in the gym with a friend and some random woman just comes up to me, looks me straight in the eyes is just completely smiling and asks me what I’m doing. I just look at her and tell her “it’s leg day” and she’s waiting for more and I go back to my work out 🤣🤣
Every relationship I had was on bar/clubs and meeting on the streets.
I don't like when girl know too much my people at the beginning. If it's go bad she can destroy my reputation. Sorry for my English I'm French.
@@anthonylulham3473 doesn't matter. because there's a good chance they are really just being only friendly. better safe than sorry
Men cold approaching women is a very new, modern practice, and a quite bizarre practice when you really think about it, IMO.
In dating theory they often refer to meeting people via "warm" and "cold" approaches. Cold approach is they are a stranger (at a bar, via an app, etc.) and warm approaches are you share social circles (church, friends, etc.). Statistically, warm approaches more often lead to successful long term relationships, and this is still the case, even though fewer relationships start this way than they did in the past. This makes sense because there's already a stage of vetting. It's important your SO fits in with your social circles, shares your values etc., and typically warm approaches are selecting for these attributes at the forefront, at least at a much higher rate than cold approaches.
Always blows my mind how women can have a monopoly on the dating matket, set the standard of said dating market, but incapable of fixing any problem or understand why they have problems in this market. It doesn't have to be perfect but to make no attempts at fixing it at all is just crazy
Didn’t she say all teenage girls are mentally ill? 25% of US women are on head meds.
I think it's because (if I recall correctly it was mentioned toward the beginning of the video) have to most to lose, are the most at risk when making these changes in the dating market that people so desire. So realistically, women don't have a monopoly on the dating market, because 90% of the time if they make the wrong step, their lives are largely negatively impacted by it.
This is where balance comes into play. If men, who are less at risk, implement change on standards in the market, and women ride the wave of the changes that actually work, you'll see change. That's my little hypothesis on it.
@planet_mogwai9310 that goes for all markets though. Take Disney's current market for example: women, feminism and generally anti-tradional themes. Disney is also losing more money than they are producing because the original target audience that gave it money is not being catered to. You absolutely can lose a lot more of something if you have direct influence on it.
I also disagree on the idea of women having more to lose. Because what they have to sacrifice if very minor compared to what men have to sacrifice to compete in. Nevermind maintaining your place in the market, just getting in already imbalanced.
Even if there are men that have a firm place in, it's women who decide on which men stay.
@LiteDnBFnatic yeah I'd just have to disagree on that then. I'm not at all saying that women don't have a great influence. I'm saying risks in romantic pursuits are being taken by women because it is often times impacts their life. So influence or not, standards will remain the same because "if it ain't broke don't fix it" and it's not worth the downsides that come with pioneering into new territory.
Dr. Hill, the Dr. That was referenced multiple times in this video, affirms this idea. Casting aside culturally harbored threats like sexual violence and domestic homicide, women's lives are put at much more risk just from the act of sex alone. Childbearing can result in death. Women are more likely to contract STDs from sex, even if they are in the same sexual pool as men. A woman's brain and body changes upon conception. None of these risks do men face nearly as much as women, hence why they are often risk takers in other avenues.
So as I said earlier, I still think the solution is to have men set their own standards, and women follow the ones that present the least amount of risk and fosters a healthy environment.
@planet_mogwai9310 we might be arguing different points then. You're argument is sexual risk. I'm not disagreeing with that. I'm arguing that before sex is even discussed, she's responsible for who she wants to be with in the first place. So if women raise the standard for men to be with them, fine, but to complain about no men being available because of the new standard is asinine. All I'm saying
Both Chris and Louise made for an EXCEPTIONAL debate! I almost forgot to breathe while taking in all the rich and cogent talking points! THANK YOU, this was a treat for the mind!
My husband and I have been happily married for 15 years. He is now the primary breadwinner and I take care of the kids and home. We have a happy and balanced life. It’s not perfect but both of us feel satisfied. I’m a very independent person and I had a great corporate career previously but the life we’ve built together is wonderful.
👏
my wife got to be in the home with the kids. As they got to teenage years she started up piano lessons again - for a number of years and then became a piano teacher too. She's touched the lives of many children by now. There have been some amazingly inately talented students along the way.
Has been a great side business because she can throttle how many students she takes on so that she can have time for other things.
Now there are grandchildren so got to have time for that :-)
Me thinks you two took the optimal path.
How did you and your husband meet?
The only downside is costs of living are just gonna keep going up and paycheck will remain the same putting more stress on your husband and all of you causing more stress and conflicts..Todays economy doesn't allow that many stay at home moms..
@@treacherousjslither6920 through mutual friends
Not only are the topics really interesting, but they both have such a soothing voice, that it's almost like learning and meditating at the same time.
it's a quality processed signal too. gated and compressed. 👍
100% disagree that women make better employees for mid level non physical jobs.
My wife works in a huge multi national company in an all female team.
It is absolutely brutal in a 14 year old schoolgirl kind of way - back biting, reputation destroying and excommunication from cliques - men simply wouldn't put up with it but these women will buy each other a birthday present while knifing each other in the back.
Women are just as antisocial and unpleasant in the workplace just in a very different way.
BS
@@wft15Not BS. I work on an all female team (I'm the only guy), and I can tell you that with 1 or 2 notable exceptions, this is true.
Yeah, I've heard many stories of all-female workplaces imploding.
@@NateWilliams-h8q you’re anecdotal stories been nothing! You can find plenty of women who have stories of men being sloppy, rude, indecent, lazy and gossipy!
Totally agree... As a woman I preferred working in balanced or predominantly teams, as team member or leader. While men could be 2 faced, it did seem to be less prevalent
this woman is highly intellectual, i appreciate her viewpoint because i have had no good role models of women in my life, most of them have been completely evil, the other half just deluded. this woman is a breath of fresh air in addition to being absolutely radiant
I loved being a mother! Best unpaid job I ever had. I also loved homeschooling. What an honor and privilege to develop the next generation of humanity!❤
To what school level will you be homeschooling
u get paid with having healthy children
amen - am husband to a wife that stayed in the home as the kids were growing up. Now there are grandkids.
People are immensely missing out if they don't have a family and then invest in their kids - as opposed to warehousing them off to govt institutions to shape who they become
Home schooling groups are amazing. I have been so impressed by the diversity and kindness I have seen (Mormons and Muslims learning math, reading, science and each others’ faith).
Did you have a hubby bringing home the bacon? Because if you did, your job as a mother wasn’t unpaid, it’s just that your pay was in the form of him putting a roof over your head, food on the table, clothes on your backs, the water and lights on, giving you kids to love and raise, and a bit of sex and romance when the occasion was right, etc. None of those things are free (no, not even sex and certainly not romance), all of them have a dollar cost, and if he was working a job to pay them, that’s how the cost of your motherly labors was being paid.
And that, contrary to the rhetoric man-hating feminists, is not a bad thing at all. It’s how most men and women naturally function.
Modern women are winning but only in the immediate hedonistic sense. All the pleasure, all the fun, all the pursuit of self-gratification and chasing excitement is heavily tilted toward women. Where they lose, and it's extremely difficult to appropriately highlight the terrible losses because they're not immediate, is in the long term, over their lifetime. For biological reasons, women are handed unimaginable advantages in their youth. However, if squandered, if underappreciated, if misunderstood as to why and for how long these massive advantages exist, this results in what we're seeing with the sharp increase in the phenomena of cats and boxed wine: no family, no children, no purpose in life beyond feeling good in the moment. That only goes so far and will run out eventually.
at least they're not oppressed anymore: they get to work until their elderly years like men traditionally did. Yay!
Just wait 10-20 more years to see real socio-economic consequences for all this.
Couldn’t have said it better myself Logan. If women aren’t happy with the current dating market, tell them to cry me a river because they’re the ones that created it.
Just rapidly spending the wealth they were born with instead of investing it.
more truths but what should we do about it?
being bitter helps nothing
A few years ago, in my local library I browsed a book written by a woman, for women, to advise them on how to navigate then (then) primarily male world of business. One section told women that it was not appropriate to wear, at the office, skirts that are too short, dresses that are too low-cut, or sweaters that are too tight, because the inspire insane animal urges in men, not conducive to getting work done. It noted that 75% (!!) of women did not understand this. They thought such clothes were simply fashionable. This sort of thing, and the business of a woman not understanding when an awkward guy is interested in her, makes me wonder of the idea of superior emotional intelligence of women needs to severely qualified.
THanks for an, as usual, excellent discussion.
When someone asks, "what does Gwyneth Paltrow have to do with Goop?" it's an indication that they don't know that Goop is her company. You might want to make it clear at that point.
Yeah I was waiting for her to tell him it her company. Either that or he was being sarcastic and I missed it
This discussion was fascinating to me. Nice to see people talking about emotional issues with a calm disposition.
1:06:30 "The blast radius of that signal"😂😂 Perfect way of putting it
Yeah that made me laugh. So true.
RIGHT?! I have two sisters and an old school-ish father, and they were constantly pestered about wearing any revealing clothing as young teens, and I remember feeling conflicted as a younger brother about their feelings. Once I was in the prime of my pubescent years, and coming into my manhood, all I could think was, "Thank you Dad!" hahaha. I love my sisters, and one was the victim of sexual assault. I have faith in humanity, but as they say in the conversation: "Everything is a tradeoff" & to paraphrase, "it's the rational way to behave and operate within the confines of the reality of our current world. Ideals for a safer, more mature, and equal society are all good and dandy, and should be strived for. However, we are not there yet."
@@XanderMuze You are totally right. And I'm sorry to hear about your sister. About that last statement, about ideals, I don't think we'll ever be at a state where people are more mature and places are more safe. Imo, they will always exist. We normal people can only care for each other when it does happen and safe guard against those people/environments
I never thought about it that way. If you have one woman who is of normal weight and fitness (in shape) and you have her best friend (female) who is overweight, technically both females are in competition for men. If the fit woman encourages her best friend to embrace her weight, that then pushes most men towards the woman who is in shape and eliminates her friend from taking the men in their community.
Perhaps but i think those weight body "positive" movements, exists more to placate women insecurities then anything else.
(basically cope)
I mean i never seen nothing of that in relation to men, last time i checked there wasnt male plus sized models for magazines... but there is no shortage of female plus sized models for magazines.. which are changing their tune because they lost tons of money trying to push for those body positive agendas.
Why, yes, that's how it should work in THEORY. But in practice, what with Lizzo being a role model, nowadays, the "body positivity" movement actively glorifies obesity, and claims being fit and taking care of yourself is an act of hate and discrimination, because "you hate fat people so much you actively work to not look like them".
So in reality, the obese friend will just resent her fit one, for not wanting to let herself go.
@@daikatarokamegawa542 Doesn't alter the scenario of the obese friend's self-satisfaction with extra weight leading more men to seek out fit girlfriend.
It should be more promoted in media, in movies how amazing children are. The love towards children has no boundaries ( with some unfortunate exceptions). The media promotes movies about violence, sex, criminals etc.😢 When you constantly feed people with those topics they are even more depressed and isolated.
Yes it’s called intersexual competition. Women compete differently than men.
Marriage has become too risky for men. What's handed over to women who need no great reason to dissolve the marriage is often wildly unfair and leaves him shackled financially to a woman who in all likelihood treats him like crap. The failure rate is huge. If you wanted to get marriage insurance there wouldn't be a company that would touch it
I love how women leave a marriage and expect that man to keep paying for her lifestyle. She leaves the marriage yet expects to keep a lifestyle that only existed because of marriage.
Prenuptial agreement a must.
@@DD-xw6uw And they are all better educated than us but still need us to support them.
That is peak incel talk. “In all likelihood?” What type of women are you interacting with?
@@maroc-al-helmidi just plain facts. Check numbers.
As a person who works dept of corrections, most of the people in prison come from single parent families. ITs very telling
and?
@@joannetilly4586 i said it... most of the people in prison are form single oarent families. mostly women. So therefore single parent families are an issue. I didint think it was a tough to correlate
That's more a correlation to poverty. Wealthier single parent homes or lesbian couples both raise well adapted children in terms off college educated and successful on average or above average.
@@daketh4572 you have to takie into account more and have more data to get that conclusion - that this is the only reason. But it's not - especially if we are talking USA.
@@sonderexpeditions Wrong, poor families with both parents in the household, or a poor single father household have both the same success rate when it comes to raising children with good outcomes. It is only the single mother household that is linked to all the negative outcomes for children in society.
"women were largely financial prisoners" So were men. It was law that men assumed all financial liability generated by their wives. In many states in the U.S. this is still the case, more or less.
Divorce alimony for life is slavery.
This narrative that men were abusers of women really needs to stop. People in power abuse those below, thats it.
As usual, women are painted as victims. It gets tiresome.
#1 predictor of divorce: the employment status of the male and women do 80% of consumer spending. Married men are the prisoners now...
Lol, they still had more freedom than women. And often took their frustrations on women due to financial stress.
Aka why feminism is for men as well. You don't need to be trapped in the role of provider. Just like women deserve more than being an incubator.
The reality is that marriage is still useful in modern society, but we as people have made it seem less meaningful and valuable. Some couples rarely ever take their vows seriously, we are easily influenced by agendas of independence being pushed on us, and the rise of OF, sex having low market value, and the promotion of polygamy and polyamory has made monogamy look like a joke.
Thank you for delivering a sober conversation.
Both were excellent in dealing with reality on reality’s terms.
How difficult relationships have become when a more middle, centre ground is so very much needed.
Thank you for taking it there.
Not all women are angry feminists and not all men are mysogynists, sexists and chauvinists and that space needs to be created where spiritual, emotional, physical and sexual boundaries can be openly discussed and defined without alleging one another as a feminist or chauvinist.
Thank you for doing that here.
Pretty cute when Chris didn’t know what “Goop” is and she didn’t quite catch that he was lost.
He'd have his man card revoked if he knew.
I avoided the clips you posted because a Louise Perry interview deserves to be viewed in its entirety and complexity.
Fantastic interview as always Chris, thanks.
This is the first time I have heard of Louise; she is very articulate and intelligent. Watching her explain some of these issues that I was completely oblivious to was a pleasure. I wholeheartedly agree with her take and am lucky to be the very last generation to grow up before smartphones became mainstream for teenagers. I am also lucky to be happily married for about 16 years to a woman who is definitely more traditional.
Today: AVOID WOMEN!
@@garythomas4936Yes, avoid women until you are mature enough to make a better decision.
Her book is quite interesting. I'd recommend it.
Possibly the most interesting discussion ever on You Tube.
Really?
If women aren’t happy with the current dating market, tell them to cry me a river because they’re the ones that created it.
They can't cry you a river because all the drugs + plus the pill has made it extremely hard for them to cry. Their hormones are that out of wack. But they can piss, brown purple due to big pharma. would you access that?
Why cry when they can just keep taking those antidepressants?
🎯
@@iamkAIden yup I believe they say 1 in 3 are on them which is such a disturbing number.
@@9770G Yes true - now look at white women over 40 years old. 😮
Women given everything they ever wanted at the expense of men, women most affected.
And they are still complaining and unhappy. What perpetual malcontents
Perhaps they were given what they were told they wanted, and sold on the idea that getting these things would make them inherently happy and fulfilled, and now many of those who bought the ideas which were sold to them by groups with vested interest, are quickly finding that those things don't give them sustaining happiness and meaning. So what they need more than ever is for men to step up and be the leaders they were designed and destined to be.
But there are many men who use the way the world is as an excuse to be weak and eternally juvenile. The world is in desperate need of real men and any men who rise to their destiny, despite the way "the world is" will find that their world restructures itself around them when they step into their roles of real masculinity and it will attract complimentary femininity, by creating a polarized space for it.
@@nimapocalyse9569 Men only invest in society and become "real men" when there is a reward on the horizon. 60 years ago, this reward was to get a young feminine wife with no/low bodycount and with no kids to start a family and grow old with.
Today, 80% of men have a hard time getting women in their prime. Most would need to settle for being second or third choice for a 35yo single mother that slept around in her 20s (with the "exciting" men that never comitted to her) and will divorce him 10 years later because she is not happy.
So, many men just check out of society and focus on their hobbies.
@@dagda3000cool it’s about time males stepped aside for women to take over
@@Yomel123
And what a failure it’s turning out to be… 🤡
I live in South Korea as a teacher. Next year the number of elementary-aged school kids entering the system will drop below 400 000. By 2027 that number is set to drop below 300 000. Wild.
I agree that young people are so against romance. As a millennial, I grew up wanting my "prince charming." But I see so many gen Z women talk about how their career is the most important thing, they want to focus on it and not date until their 30's, and just being in situationships instead of a relationship. When I was in my 20's dating, situationships weren't common, you were either facebook official or single. And at the same time, the romance novel industry is massive and gen Z loves it too. It's odd, I feel like the "career is everything" mindset is pushed on young women, which is odd because being a corporate wage slave isn't meaningful.
vanillabeanlady financial security is the foundation of all meaningful things. Can't do anything in life without money.
But as a millennial why don't you date other millennial who might find you Prince Charming by chance or work out to be Princess Charming as well to fit your ideal? Or you find millennials too old for you to give them a chance? That's good too but then you might get stuck failing dates with a whole generation of indifferent young women just because you have too high a standard for an average millennial.
But expecting some random relationship in the future to make you happy isn't too.
The thing with the job is about independence, if you end up in a bad relationship, you can leave, you have your money. Something that alot of women in the past couldn't do.
@@KFrost-fx7dt if you have any actual real skills in life you can do much without money ask the amish
Divide and conquer. Pit men and women against one another.
The massive expense to men of getting married is crazy, the ring, paying for the wedding, the honeymoon etc. Then in a few years the women just divorces them. The cost benefit is no longer there.
I agree but the good thing is that most men only about 10% will have a prospect of ever being married..
It's a bad deal period and common sense. Over the last 300 years, men have gotten more or less of the same, or LESS from marriage. Whereas women are getting more, in the form of legal rights (specifically in relation to marriage) and general opportunities.
Don't forget women expect you to contribute more financially even though they work to so they can spend the money they earn on material things like clothes, hand bags, makeup, nice cars, etc. Marriage in the west is a joke.
If you are a man, seriously, do not pay for anything for the wedding. Just tell your gf to get off birth control and move in.
Men know the sacrifice. If there women divorce then thats on them. I can't have pity on the men marrying in the current climate and being oblivious to consequences.
She quoted a trans person that said something like when you transition, you then become dependent on the kindness of everyone to play along forever. It's not exactly that. You become dependent on the cowardice of everyone to lie to you, to your, face for the rest of your life. Oof.
She was being kind about it. As someone who worked with "transvestites" in NYC 30+ years ago, they knew they were not real women, even though some had boob jobs. Today, they are convinced they are real, biological women, because the actual *medical field* tells them they can "fully transition" to the opposite gender with some hormones and the slice of a knife. It's criminal.
500 men can tell a woman exactly the same story on why they're not marrying. And 500 times that woman will cry, "That's not true!"
How dare you! 😆
500 women can say they want to be child free to live a full life and 500 times the men will scream- “you’re selfish”.
@@PlayfulJoyful You misspelled "other women".
@@PlayfulJoyfulNope, we won't. The vast majority of dudes will not call you selfish. But they will warn you of how lonely you will be sitting in that nursing home with no kids to visit you. Oh I forgot, that's "misogyny" 😂. Nevermind, keep making those mistakes and wondering why you're unhappy!
@@PlayfulJoyful And 500 times when she hits the wall at 35 she will cry: "Where are all good men gone?"
“We clearly have free will but what we consider to be normal, desirable, the life template is so incredibly dependent on what people around us think” which is why we got on this downward spiral of terms of fertility
I have to push back on her comment about the idea of women not needing men being true.
There are two women in my family who said they didn't need a man their entire lives. And around the age of 65 its starting to show. And now me and everyone else in the family has to deal with their insane bulls**t all the time.
Really think about this before you act on it, so that someday your insane nonsense doesnt affect those around you if you end up being wrong.
Sorry to break it to you, but most women marry older men. Therefore, most women are widows at 65, and are alone by default.
@@redrock740you didn’t comprehend to his narrative mate.
@@ianvitalis No, you don't understand the fact that he is stating " it didn't start to show until they were 65"
@redrock740 People, especially women, live much longer than 65. I'm not sure what you mean "are widows by then".
She means financially and in the satisfaction of immediate needs like food, water, shelter, etc. Men do still provide additional safety, but the narrative is that they are only providing safety from other men.
She seems so disconnected with men and doesn't call out women and their mistakes.
Women seems to be whereever they are: "sisters before society."
Society is doomed and we will see it happen in slow motion.
Yes she is totally gynocentric, almost like she sees men more as a structure around women than as people
@@jsgdkMen do that all the time. They see women as support structures around people a.k.a. men. Welcome to the club.
@@C12341 I respect her insight and knowledge and her choices to be a traditional woman with family and a career.
I just think that it stops short of coming up with solutions. Kind of an apologist.
If you want to see what she doesn't want to admit: there are two videos about "women rating men but their rizz" and "men rating women by their rizz".
See how much power women have and how easy men are to talk to and see how hard men have to "work" to rizz a few girls.
Men didn't go anywhere, they are the same as they have always been. Women were the ones who are responsible for everything that is happening today.
And that is where she stops at: calling out women who are responsible for out demise as a healthy society.
I have the solution julian Ive not watched this 90 minutes yet I heard her very first comment and it was off putting Im about to watch it now. She was invited last week in London as a special guests at the ARP with Jordan Peterson she seemed articulate enough there. But here on this video her very first comment was odd and way off so it got me curious to read few comment before the 90 min watch. I have a massive global solution to all this. Sadly though my documentary is months away.
Construction worker with an incrediblly simple yet huge solution but Im suspended in gaffa with my thoughts. I can't type out the plan here to strangers in comments section. Im telling you 110% I have the fix for youth and the dismanteledness both sexes are facing. You'll just need to look 6-12 months from now for a new way of life that Ive invented. I have a huge problem sit in my car and film me talkign with the solution. Contact my local film school students to film it. This creates fees and also royalties. Google says if you make your own film noone can own 50% royalties. I dont wanna make money I want my plan to become heard on all 4 corners of the earth.
These elite talkers the masters degrees specialists in their field havent lived amongst the problem so with several dozen 1 hour specials Ive watched in the last 5 years the common denominator is they talk in theory. These people were all born into well fed homes and have no real clue where to find the answer to men and women drifting apart. Kinda like they walk around like Jodie Foster did in Silence Of The Lambs with the night goggles on. Everyone keeps searching through debate and discussion for the answer and no one can see it. @@julianmarco4185
"She seems so disconnected with men....etc" Yes, Thank you for saying that. I was thinking the same thing and went back a few times to see if I missed something.
In both cases as a man you get figuratively "f*cked". Traditional relationship, you need to carry most of the risk, solve most of the problems and carry most of the burden, it's mostly all on you and if you do not "man up" every time, you are treated as a failure by your family and society, also it's a myth that you get your needs met. Modern relationship, you get treated as optional and can be replaced at any moment and society will tell you it's your fault, because you were not "man" enough, but remember being a "man" is toxic, and there is always the one that is better and you will be dumped. BUT society worries that in the traditional relationship the WOMAN is not treated fairly, and in the modern relationship and dating scene the WOMAN does not find happiness. REMEMBER tough everything is Patriarchy... I'm sorry why are man opting out of society? Oh yeah, they are too weak...
Who gives birth and risks their lives and has to give up their identity again? who get to be a parent and still have an identity outside of the home. who's career accelerates after becoming a parent? Who'd body is for ever changed after giving birth?
@@sarcodonblue2876 well not the majority of women any more unfortunately, half of women over 30 are childless.
@@sarcodonblue2876 sounds like traditional roles. Or understandings that used to be respected
You should preach to the modern ladies. It’s them that need to hear it
(DO NOT IGNORE OR FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID, but yes, men also need to be men again. Enough video games. Enough pr0n. Enough being a manchild. Grow up, learn stuff, learn to be a man
Learn how to fix your car, how to fix stuff around your house, how to do your taxes, etc etc
BE MEN AGAIN. Even without women. Do it for yourself.
Again, to who I commented to, don’t forget what I said first; tell the ladies what they need to hear as well.)
@@onward2727 agreed. I have a man like that and honestly, I didn't realise how rare he is. There's a level of quiet confidence you get from being with a competent man that's hard to explain. I just know he's got us and whatever comes our way. Competence is massively underrated.
@@onward2727It's good for men and women to be self sufficient.
But people shouldn't be forced into traditional gender roles. Many women don't want to be housewives and many men don't want to be breadwinners.
This is a great conversation!
“Use the witch clairvoyance, tap in to the astral realm” 😂😂😂😂 on point!
I think another reason sex is disliked in our entertainment is that Hollywood goes to it too much. It's become a cheap crutch to catch audience attention, a substitute for writing compelling interesting stories.
Brilliant. :)
What a joy to listen to/watch.
You guys' chemistry is great.
I think.. you having Louise more frequently...in some sort of 'series' would be really really good for all parts.
Thanks so much for this,
Kudos
I love this episode, awesome conversation and such a good flow and humor. It's like you're childhood friends!
Grew up in an alchoholic abusive family in the 1960's. My parents were miserable and ended up hating each other. The 4 kids were the true victims watching this since we were toddlers. I never got married or had kids. Why would I after going through all that sadness & trauma? Even though I never married, I never had an abusive realtionship with any of my girlfriends. Still friends and in touch with 3 of them.
We had similar upbringing, and took similar paths. I had no desire for children after growing up seeing my mother as a prisoner to my father, and our wants & needs. They have always seemed so disappointed in my choices, and I have (at times) told them I didn't want to live the life my mother lived. It's mind-boggling they are still together, but it's mostly because older Italian ladies brought shame on the family for divorcing.
Your anecdote, while tragic, is not an indictment of marriage or parenthood.
@@DavidEidenparenthood is an eternal prison. Regretful parents subreddit is an excellent source of examples.
@@DavidEidenYou're wrong because his experience is the experience of the majority of people...I don't know any happily married couples... starting with my own parents, I can count my grandparents and my sisters too...The world is as it is and not as it should be...and that's especially true regarding relationships between men and women... it's a mess... it's ugly...no wonder some people compared love and war...So I think that's an argument against marriage and parenthood...they are necessary evils to keep our species alive...but on an individual level in our current society they are liabilities. I see human sexuality a divine mistake...
1:04:58 As a man who chronically assumes women aren't interested in me, it's disheartening to hear I've actually been overestimating their interest this whole time.
😂😂
We're in this boat together buddy. And I actually believed when a few have said they thought I was cute or charming. Its all just niceties to avoid hurting feelings, doing us a disservice more than anything else.
Amen brudda 🫡🤧🥂
I always found that stat interesting because I’ve also seen a stat saying men underrate their value on average and women overrate their value (in the eyes on other people). I guess perceiving others as interested in you and how much value others see in you is different though.
Truth😂
I think the primary reason that women are choosing to have less children is that we don’t have a community to help us raise our children. In previous generations, women had a community of moms aunts and sisters who contributed to our labor of child rearing. In addition to that we are also working full time outside of the home. We need to work professionally to take care of ourselves so we are opting out of unpaid labor of having a family.
I 100% feel you on that. I remember my parents dropping me off at my grandparents when they went to work. Considering my grandparents helped my parents look after me while they went to work, then the Baby Boomers should know that we are entitled to them watching our children while we go to work. I am entitled to my parents watching my children when I go to work because I remember them dumping me at my grandparents house while they went to work. Boomers are just selfish and lazy and don't want to do anything.
I agree, and there’s also such an easy first step to this solution that nobody wants to let on, and that’s involving fathers and granting them just as much rights as parents. This would keep fathers much more involved and able to stay involved in children’s lives… At least in America we have striking issues regarding maternity and paternity leave; it should be mandated by law and be equal lengths for mothers and fathers of course. Treat fathers as important as the mothers in children’s lives… shocking revelation right.
The most comprehensive account on the social-moral contract between the sexes. Historically and in the present day. I will save this video and use it as a reference whenever I get on topic in a discussion. Thank you for producing this.
Women would literally us all rather not exist then give up feminism. Incredible.
It’s amazing how unempathetic women are toward men
Why would men die before they listen to the women who are just asking for things they can give? Women are supposed to drop their civil rights as Americans because men are annoyed? Such a temper tantrum
@@TanyaAppalavich What you mean by things men can give? have crossed your mind, that perhaps men cant give you want you want? i think looking at what is happening to men, and boys, its much more deep, and troublesome then just being merely annoyed... it is clearly a systematic issue, that is leading a big growing portion of young men disengaging with society altogether. Not just women, and marriage and dating, but also education and the work force. You might want to continue press on the issue on "civil rights" as if women dont have more privileged lives then most men already, and ignore mens issues at your peril, because society as a whole will pay the piper anyway
Well that is what is going to happen, we will be gone as a people, and culture given time, and be replaced by a culture were people actually reproduce.
@@knightheaven8992people laughed at me, but 20 years ago I said womens rights would be the downfall of NATO and the western anglos.
With all due respect to my sisters, I hope not.
There are a lot of men hurting in the Western world right now and they have every reason to be upset.
You attract what you are.
If you want a nice man, you have to be a nice woman, it's as simple as that.
If you aren't, and you want to blame men for all the wrongs of the world, treat them like disposable se.x toys or walking, free dinner-dates , you are a long way away from being ready for a relationship.
U must be from the old era of feminism right. Well hope the women listen to this
yeah.. they seldol hold women accountable.. they blame men for not being able to handle a woman when they (women) make more money but never acknowledge that women become bad people when they make more money.. they lose respect for the guy, start bossing the guy around etc.
@@philjudd3473 Let your heart be at ease that there is a purpose to this process. Women had their sexual revolution decades ago; you are having yours now. That's why there is turmoil and traditional definitions of masculinity are being challenged. The new man is being born from the ashes of the old.
A man who is self aware and will not allow himself to be treated like a pack mule, prize stallion or walking charity-bank, a man who understands his value and his contributions to society and will walk away if people try to treat him poorly.
As you should.
And, as always, it is the men in society who fix it. Just like the men fix the telegraph poles, sewer drains and all of the other unpleasantness, our broken society will be repaired and renewed because of the contributions of our menfolk. ❤
@@Deimonos85 I've seen this personally. Women who make more money than their husbands either have a great sense of balance or they divorce the guy.
Such a wonderfully civil and intelligent conversation. A glimmer of hope in the general darkening of public discourse. Please never stop making these!
Yeah because they are not zoomers you will see how bad it is in the future
@@Krichnu Oh, come on! I've heard plenty of boomers and gen X-ers, and millennials perpetuating toxic discourse. Assigning all the blame to zoomers is exactly the kind of thinking that I mean by "the general darkening of public discourse" and what I praised Chris & Louise for _not_ taking part in.
It sounds intelligent, but anyone that has knowledge into this can see all the bs being spew. That woman, for example, is Projecting a LOT of things she believes or feels onto what other people might be thinking or believing. Things she doesn't know, things she has no data on and things she is completely incorrect. And she's supposed to be an expert.
I bet there are some videos debunking this around. I rather watch those. They might actually have data to back claims and not just biased interpretations.
@@joshanonline Dude you really are making a fool of yourself. You assume without evidence that she has no data and then you proceed to say that you "believe there is a debunking video" so that means you don't know anything about the subject since you need a debunking video that doesn't even exist.
Fantastic
This is the audio quality Louise's voice deserves!
I agree, it feels very intimate
She has a very beautiful voice, very soothing to listen to
The idea that women make better employees in the office is interesting. I'd love to see the study that shows this as in my experience this is largely not the case. When a company has an equality target (which many do nowadays) I often see women promoted simply on the basis that they can do the job to a basic level, and will help the company hit their target, rather than them being the best candidate for the role.
Affirmative action in government agencies is mandatory quotas now; the incompetent advance way beyond their level of competence while quality men eventually leave.
Or maybe it's that women tend to be more agreeable, or that they're attractive to be around.
@SeveredLegs I would argue that women in the workplace are not more agreeable then men, in fact quite the opposite. You see men's disagreeability is tempered in the workplace by how competent and commited they are. If as a man you are highly competent then part of that (in managment at least) is being able to communicate effectively and therefore this is a natural barrier for those men that are essentially incapable of being agreeable. However when your main drive is to hire a woman because of equality requirements it becomes a basic standard of competence and then about the fact that they are a woman. The sad fact is that the sex of the applicant should have no bearing at all on whether they are consider the best candidate but is often the definitive factor.
I say this as someone who has worked in senior management for over a decade and had to deal with these rules. It's not just sex, it's ethnicity as well, but sex is far more "important" when considering these factors from a company perspective.
I should add that it was a female manager that started me in my professional development towards management and some of the best employees I've had were women, however those women earnt their place and worked hard for it. I'm not saying women "cant" do the job, but I'm saying that when a company HAS to promote a woman, then it diminishes the value of the work that woman put into her career as well as the men who were passed up on. And sadly the woman will never know whether she was the best person for the job or just the right sex
I would even argue that, in the workplace, women are being subsidized by men. When a male employee grinds out a multimillion dollar contract he doesn't get a penny over his wage. When a DEI HR woman drives away five high performing men, she loses not even a penny of her wage.
That having been said, women dominating HR is more likely to be the driver of female success in the workplace.
@@UltraChongkak Woman dont want to see other woman succeed though so i dont mind it being all pretty girls in HR working parttime.. I like talking to them as a man. Having a woman manager is another thing.
I asked a girl out the kther week. Got rejected. And that was fine. I was literally just proud of myself for gettinn it done. Sonce then the two of us are thankfully adult enough to still speak, zero awkwardness. And thats how it should be. The taboo around asking women out in person instead of hding behind an app has gotten so strong. Its a real shame.
The girls had the same issue, if you ask someone out, you get rejected and you don't feel the need of having someone close...
@@oana8299 ..
Women don't ask guys out..? In majority of cases at least
@@nightkingxx dude if any woman has ever asked you out you're in the 1%... If you live in the west. In the east it may be a different story, very different values over there. We all fucked up over here 🤣
@@nightkingxx also you may try not attacking those disagree with right away. You'll have more productive conversations
No, i think no, at least this is my opinion...because I am afraid of rejection too....@@BulletPointFitnessPodcast
This interview was phenomenal, well balanced and both parties are very well read.
Breath of fresh air from the normal red pill conversations.
My wife and I fulfill traditional gender roles in our family and it works wonderfully. I'm a sufficiently well-earning engineer and she gets to stay home with the children. We discussed what would give both of us the most happiness and sense of accomplishment in life, and for her, staying at home and raising the children was her highest priority. My highest was protecting and providing for my family by working a job that could pay enough without having to work overtime. My wife also expressed a desire to do something that wasn't just child-focused and that would use her English degree, so we decided that she could spend whatever free time she had while I was away to continue writing and freelance editing. My next highest desire was to love and teach my children in the home, so when I come home from work I always do my best to spend time with the kids to give her a break. It works wonderfully! We don't have the most money, the biggest house, the hottest bodies, or the most exciting lives, but we have lots of love, fun, and respect for each other and it totally makes life worth the struggle.
That's an incredibly ideal situation for 1 person to be able to earn enough to pay all the bills, mortgage, etc. Most people aren't in that situation.
Quite envious of you mate.
A privileged position that is impractical for average individuals in the current capitalist mode i.e. whereby the desire for cheap labour has driven wages through the floor.
Thanks to you your wife gets the best of both worlds: no boss, no targets, no clock ins, no deadlines and she gets to pursue her dreams and stay at home while the kids are in school and see them grow up, and your kids come home to a mother, priceless, she won big time. Men are underappreciated in society for this daily sacrifice.
My husband and I live a tradional lifestyle as well. It is so fulfilling. We both feel supported, secure and happy. Our children have both parents and we both devote our spare time exclusively to having experiences and quality time as a family. We have well behaved children who behave because they respect and love us. We are a strong, successful and united couple. . It saddens me when I see people trashing a way of life that has worked for a centuries. Women and men are shamed for our strengths and differences. Many people blind to the benefits of this lifestyle and have been far less successful in the pursuit of happiness. Men and women are not equal. We are different, we have different strengths and weaknesses . Neither is superior or more valueable than the other. In my family we embrace this and it creates a balance in our relationship. We all have a choice in how we want to live. The left needs to stop shaming people who are choosing to live in our gender roles. Abuse and coercive control seem to be the narrative with a traditional marriage. There is abuse in all kinds of relationships. Being traditional does not equate abuse, the perpetrator does. A modern traditional family makes decisions together, the husband invests in thier wives and children. They share household and childhood responsibilities and sometimes women work. This is not oppression.
I don't want to see more sex in movies because I'm not going to cinema to watch porn, I'm going there to see art, the reasons Louise Perry came up with are mind boggling to me
Couldn't agree more. To me it's such a waste of time and I want a refund for the time I'm forced to watch a love scene. I'm a millenial if that changes anything.
It's ok not to be much interested in sex or even to feel uncomfortable with it... I am 55 years old, far way from millenials sexuality, sexually active thanks to my beloved woman, and I love a beautiful sex scene, the problem I see in most films and series is that they tend to depict mostly rough, very passionate sex, which is fine, but definitely not the best sex you can have, not to compare with intimate, loving, deeply caring sex...
Sex sells, always been that way, young women attract business.
fully agree.
Sex in movies is painful to watch for me. I want either to see an interesting movie or series, or I'll go on the hamster site and find all kind of diverse and satisfying videos.
Agree, game of thrones comes to mind
It took a long time for me to warm up to and actually watch Mr. Robot because the casual sex in the pilot made it hard to empathize with the character. It didn’t make me uncomfortable or anything. I just know I struggle to obtain casual sex, and Elliot is struggling with so much more, it just seems ridiculous that he can easily get laid. Guys like THAT don’t.
As an autistic man i admit it's incredibly hard to find a neurotypical woman that can tolerate us. Even i who am 6.1 and have a 7/10 face
I don't think that description is necessarily accurate. Elliot doesn't easily get laid in general; he's very much the opposite of a ladies' man, and when you factor in how his and Shayla's relationship is explained and explored later, it kind of makes sense. Not to mention that drugs often remove inhibitions.
@@keylanoslokj1806Are you from the Uk?
I’m in my twenties and have mild autism but it wasn’t picked up on because it looks different in women. I just came across a bit anxious.
I’ve only recently been on the path to an official diagnosis and want to meet more autistic people.
@@Gn3rd It’s not that I don’t believe that dynamic doesn’t happen. It definitely would have been believable in the 90s and ‘00s. But in the last decade, that’s fallen apart. Like they pointed out here, about a third of men 18 - 25 haven’t even approached a woman ever in their lives.
I think if the character were written for the newest generation of adults, he would hardly talk to women at all.
@@keylanoslokj1806 We're in this together buddy. As a neuro-atypical 33 yo who is always told he looks cute and strikes good convo, I just cant seem to find anyone interested in me. Men with mental issues are just seen as liabilities by women. Thats fair, I guess.
Thanks!
These conversations are just on another level. Well done!
I've been taking notes like mad while listening to this conversation. You are both great at breaking down these cultural and societal problems. Thank you for this content.
This is now in my "Saved Forever" list. Such an excellent discussion chalk full of the hard truths some people refuse to even consider.
I've never rewound a podcast so many times in my life. I'm gonna have to rewatch (re-listen) to this one again when I get off work.
There is a rapidly growing number of young men with no prospects in life, nothing to do, and feel not just alienated, but outright attacked by their society. You know know what the inevitable conclusion of these conditions are. The bread and circus can only last so long.
There are many jobs available. Employers are desperate for workers. Engineers, electricians, plumbers, pilots.
Chris is clueless. People are not getting married because marriage is a bad idea for men. Women decide who has sex. Men decide when marriage is initiated.
Not always.
@@ilikepancakes2368 Always.
@@ilikepancakes2368 It is practically always. It's a duty for man and reward for a woman.
If it represents a duty, commitment to you, you'll naturally be picky about it.
You strive for the reward, and consider expenses. Means to an end or an end itself.
The problem I have witnessed is women, in Gen X and Gen Y, have been using men to get them through the hard years of child rearing, to then dispose of them (taking everything they can get on the way out, of course) because they never really wanted them in the first place. Marriage has become a legal grifting opportunity to get everything women want in life. And, obviously, being in a family in their retirement years is not on their list. My son, 8, has already said he doesn't want to be married. He wants to live his life with his friends, of which zero are girls. At 6 years old, he has seen his mother ruin his fathers life, take what's left, and leave him for her own selfish, single lifestyle. From the time he was 3, family meant everything to him, and now he's seen his own mother reck his, for nothing more than personal satisfaction. You now have three generations of kids, Millenials, Gen Z, and the next, who are now reacting this (I'll call it trama) by abstaining from relationships. How many of these women do you think care about that? They've chosen themselves over their children; over having large family dinners when they're grandmothers (which they likely will not become). Children are selfish narsacists because it's a natural survival instinct. But if you don't discipline them into being adults when they're growing up, they continue to make short-term decisions with no regard for their, or anyone elses future. Ironically, this seemingly flagrant freedom will ultimately make them more dependent on the government than ever before.
I think it's unfair to blame all Gen X women. If your wife is Gen X and your son is only eight your wife must have been pretty old when she settled, probably too old to make the change.
I'm Gen X, I've been married over thirty years. My children are grown up and married with children. And my alpha gkids are confident they will marry and have children when they grow up. It's also important to take into account that eight year olds are, to use the psychological term, sexually dormant and most prefer to play with children of their own sex. Your son may view things differently at 14 or 15.
You should have chosen a better wife. You passed up lots of nice women who would’ve been loyal to you and treated you like a King.
Your wife displayed red flags and you decided to ignore them because she gave you butterflies in your tummy.
Take accountability for your poor choice in a wife.
😂
@@daddydiavolo8378 He does not need to take accountability. Women initiate over 70% of divorces.
And no, it is not the men's fault. The divorce rates in lesbian marriages are even higher - no man to blame there. Modern women are divorcing because they are not "feeling completely happy".
@@dagda3000she left him so it is 100% on him to get women better. He passed up the nice girls for the freak
@@Yomel123 So women who file for divorce are freaks? Given that the divorce rate is 60% and 70% of divorces are filed by women - that would make alot of women freaks.