7:42 Fun fact: In the American Civil War, there was a general named Ambrose Burnside. He wore such a unique set of mutton chops, that his facial hair was named after him, called the sideburns.
The joke: Two guys were lost in a desert. They were hungry and thirsty, and kept seeing water in the distance. But every time they approached, they found it to be merely a mirage. Then one of them saw a tree in the distance. It had slices of bacon hanging from every branch. Food at last! “Look,” he said to his companion. “A bacon tree. Where there’s food there’s got to be water as well.” “No, it’s just another mirage.” “No, I can see it clearly. It’s not a mirage. It’s an actual tree. I’m going to get some food.” And so he took off, running towards the bacon tree. But as he neared the tree, there was the sound of rapid gun fire coming from behind it. The guy was badly wounded, but before he died, he yelled to his companion: “Run! It’s not a bacon tree, it’s a hambush!”
@@glass4600dune is not based enough to include something like that sadly. It does have duncan Idaho dying a comically large amount of times though. I still find it hilarious duncan Idaho is in EVERY book. He also dies in the first book.
@@callumprice1710 small little snippets where frank adds the “desert traveler’s” jokes during Leto atreides’ ,(the worm’s), reign. “Old fremen tales” or something like that.
@@glass4600 thats not really something any of the dunes books ever does. Especially the 4th one (which is where leto II is the ruler aka the worm). The 4th book is like super focused on philosophy and religion even more so than most of the other books. Also at that point basically there are no fremen.
But THIS version has much more pointless detail to waste your time...if that's the sort of thing you find funny that is.. Two individuals, let's call them Bob and Joe, found themselves in an expansive desert, the scorching sun beating down on them relentlessly. Hunger and thirst gnawed at their insides, and just to add a touch of cruelty, the mirages of water seemed to mock them at every turn. Bob wiped the sweat from his forehead with his faded bandana, squinting into the horizon. "Hey, Joe, do you see that?" he exclaimed, pointing dramatically at what appeared to be a shimmering oasis in the distance. Joe sighed, his cracked lips forming a skeptical smile. "Bob, it's probably another mirage. Don't get your hopes up." Undeterred, Bob's eyes widened with excitement as he spotted something that seemed too good to be true - a tree! Not just any tree, mind you, but a majestic tree adorned with slices of bacon dangling from its every branch, glistening in the harsh sunlight. “Joe! A bacon tree! Can you believe it? Where there's bacon, there's bound to be water too!” Bob declared with a triumphant grin. Joe rolled his eyes, convinced it was just another mirage. "Bob, for the last time, it's not real. It's just playing tricks on your hungry mind." "No, Joe, this time I'm sure. It's an actual tree," Bob insisted, staring at the bacon-laden spectacle before him. "I'm going to get some food." With a newfound burst of energy, Bob sprinted towards the bacon tree, fueled by the promise of a savory feast in the middle of the desert. As he approached, the anticipation reached a fever pitch, only to be shattered by the sudden eruption of rapid gunfire emanating from behind the bacon tree. The serene illusion shattered, leaving Bob gravely wounded and sprawled on the desert floor. He managed to gasp out a final warning to Joe before succumbing to his injuries. "Run, Joe! It's not a bacon tree, it's a hambush!"
Wow, I thought I was over GTA videos, but this is actually like a podcast for middle-aged people. Perfect for me. I guess they really know their audience. Lol.
Maybe its just me getting old by I actually really like these kinds of videos. Them just casually playing a game, not caring much about what's happening while generally chatting. Kind of reminds me of being on discord with all my friends, just mindlessly playing games while chatting about life and stuff.
Sideburns are named for US General Burnside, so it's very possible that sideboards is just the older British term for them. They can also be called side whiskers.
I see a lot of kids in school groups and the general public at work. And the amount of rats tails and mullets I see is unexplainable, and makes me instantly get annoyed.
I remember a radio station, when I was in High School in the 90s, that was permanently going off the air and for the last 48 hours just played R.E.M.'s - It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine). What a way to go out.
@14:07 There was one time in OKC that a radio station played "Its Getting Hot in Here" over and over again because the A/C broke in the middle of August. The DJ went a bit mad. They were found singing that song in their underwear. They were fine after resting for a couple days.
Random fact - the Romans came very close to working out that asbestos is deadly. They identified that abestos mines were more dangerous than other mines (it seriously devalued slaves who worked in them) but didn't quite investigate enough to realised that it was dangerous after processing.
Asbestos clothes used to exist! They were worn by some royalty back in medieval times, and were called "salamander fur" based on the belief that salamanders were fireproof.
Video reminded me of the following joke: So there’s a farm. On this farm, there’s a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends. They do just about everything together. And one day, they’re sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer’s kid is watching MTV, and they’re watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says “you know what? I’m gonna learn how to do that.” So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and he says to the guy on the phone, “Hey, listen. I wanna learn to play guitar.” Guy on the phone says “no problem. Come on down.” “No, there might be one problem. I’m a horse.” “Naw, it ain’t a problem. We’ll get some attachments, I can teach you to play. Promise.” So horse turns out to be a natural. He gets GOOD. And he calls over Cow and Chicken and he’s like “LOOK WHAT I CAN DO” and he jams out like Jimi Hendrix. And Cow says “holy shit. That’s awesome. I want to learn to do something like that too. What’s like that?” And horse says “Bass. Learn to play bass.” So Cow calls up Guitar Center, and she says “Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play bass guitar.” Guy on the phone says “No problem, miss, come on down.” “Eh, this might be a problem. I’m a cow.” “Nah, no problem. I helped a horse recently, I can teach you to play too. Promise.” So Cow learns to play the bass, and Cow is fucking amazing at it. So Cow and Horse are jamming, and Chicken gets a bit jealous. He says “Damn, I wanna learn something too. But not like that.” Horse says “Well, I mean, we need a drummer around here.” So Chicken calls up Guitar Center, and he says “Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play drums.” Guy on the phone says “No problem, man. Come on down.” “Eh, maybe a problem. I’m a chicken.” “Naw. Ain’t no thing. I taught a horse guitar and a cow bass. I can teach you drums.” So chicken learns the drums, and he’s fucking amazing. So Cow, Horse, and Chicken all start having jam sessions whenever the farmer’s out. And one day they’re playing, and a big record agent is driving down the road. And he hears them, and he’s like “what the fuck? that sounds amazing.” so he stops at the farm, and he finds them all playing in the barn. And he says “Holy shit. You guys sound AWESOME. I wanna represent you, make this a real band, make some music. You’re gonna be HUGE.” So Cow and Chicken and Horse take this guy’s deal, and they move to the city, they cut albums, and they’re big. REAL big. Top 10 hits, platinum albums, the works. They get set for their first tour. But there’s a problem, see. Horse gets a phone call, his mom’s real sick. Cow and Chicken, though, they’re cool as hell. They say “Listen. Go see your mom. We’ll delay the first show a couple of days, so fly back home, spend some time with her, and then jump on a plane and come meet us.” Horse says “Thanks, guys. you’re the best,” and he takes off. Couple of days later, Horse’s mom is just fine. Turned out to be a real bad cold, she gets over it, and he spends another night there. The following morning, he gets a call. It’s his agent. Cow and Chicken’s plane went down, they died in the crash. The band is done. he’s lost his best friends. And horse, this breaks him, man. He’s been through so much with them, and he feels real down in the dumps. So he takes a walk, and while he’s on that walk, he just can’t shake the blue, so he figures to himself “Alright, alright. One drink, just to get over it.” So Horse walks into the local bar. Bartender looks at him and says “Hey. Why the long face?”
For the Gameboy game cartridges, the screw holding them closed has an unusual head. If you don't have a bit for it, a simple screwdriver can be made by taking the plastic casing off of a pen and melting the pointy end just enough to make it soft before pressing it into the screwhead to harden and hold the shape. Its not the most durable tool, but should last long enough for a few uses.
@@siennility4706Yeah exactly.. they're pretty much everywhere now. Especially since Joycons with them constantly having stick drift it became popular to sell tri-wing screwdrivers along with replacement sticks.
@@zrath67A tri-wing screwdriver is like $5.. you're telling someone to go get a pen, take it apart, melt it, press it into the screw to mold it, then when it cools use it to unscrew it.. so you're telling people to take apart a pen, play with fire, melt the pen, etc.. you really think that's better than just buying a tri-wing screwdriver? With the idiots in the world today..?
Yes. Trash can be taken from a junk drawer and turned into a functional tool that can be happily thrown away, and in less time than it takes to go to the store. Great option if you don't have one and have a single use need for it. For instance, if you want to change a single battery in a game cartridge, and have no other need for such a tool, and have limited storage for unused tools. In such cases this is the best option in all regards, unless you can barrow one. In 10-20 years, when to problem arises again, just do it again. In different cases other than the one I am specially recommending this for, buying one may make more sense. @@Eventide215
“I feel like a lot of that stuff you don’t actually sit down and watch it, you just turn it on. It’s a lot of background telly…” Lewis completely missing the irony of GTA V + conversation content.
me and my friends when I was a kid took turns with a copy of animal crossing and a memory card, one week at a time each and sharing when we hung out. best experience with a single save file being shared with others.
You should check out the April Fool's prank done by Panorama in 1957 with a 'documentary' about the Italian spaghetti harvest, showing people taking ripe bunches from spaghetti trees.
Ok someone needs to sit the Yogs down and teach them how to fly planes in GTA, like give them a 'banner school' for planes. Gta flying is super easy (barely an inconvenience) on both keyboard and controller...if you don't rapidly turn and spin like a lunatic On controller use slower turns and minor adjustments using the bumpers, once you get the hang of it you can easily start adding in rolls to get sharper turns. On keyboard you have perfect control right on the numpad the mouse is 90% useless while flying only being useful for looking around. Sit down for maybe half an hour and fly around and you'll see your flying greatly improve and these flying levels wont be such a pain (for you guys and us) anymore (this flying level is actually a really good training course for beginners and intermediate thanks to you being able to fly slow to learn and fast to get better at dodging) But most importantly as put above, don't rapidly turn or spin at least not until you are more advanced
my fashion opinion is anything can look good if you wear it well and wear it with confidence. what "wearing it well" means can depend on the person and what fits them best, but i dont see much that just look bad no matter what
Actually, uranium glass uses uranium salts, which are much less radioactive and are quite safe. The issue comes from industry owning substantial amounts of uranium, not necessarily from the glass itself. Fortunately, we have other ways of colouring glass green nowadays.
It took Zylus around 8:41 to clear that plane race race Ben took about 10:53 Duncan took about 12:16 I wanted to keep track to see how long the others would take to match Zylus' skill. No-one took double the time, so that's nice
I’m getting slightly interested in cassette tapes, all just because of Cassette Beasts. They were around when I was a baby, but they were well outdated
It’s funny that they went on a tangent about telling long bad jokes because I just got out of a lecture with the guy who wrote nemo and he explained how the comedian who voiced marlin went on for 10 minutes telling the bad joke at the beginning of the movie since his whole thing was a funny voice actor who wasn’t allowed to tell jokes because he was too worried about his son. Anyways they had to cut the 10 minutes into 11 seconds.
I imagine a Frankfurter tree would grow like a banana tree, with large bunches of sausages. And there would be different varieties with white sausage, polish sausage, smoked sausage. I want one of each.
It's funny they're talking about people hating hearing about dreams, because I just watched one of Hat Films' earlier videos on Baldur's Gate 3, and how there's a segment of Bouphe telling them about a dream, and Trott looks just like, the most disinterested and annoyed he could be. Lol
I can see Bouphe has updated her look in GTA, and I was not prepared for that. Looking... g-goood? I think? It IS an improvement, but I imagine the sanity damage *is* rather intentional.
A tutor at my college used to tell a really long joke called the white gorilla, it went on for like half an hour and the punchline was super disappointing but it was very enjoyable. I've never been able to repeat it because it basically requires reliving a long and detailed journey back and forth about 6 times and my millennial brain just wants to give the TLDR version when the art of the joke is all about building up intrigue and tension through the journey.
When i was a kid, we had pokemon. They have it too, but its ALL we had :P. Now they're collecting gods damn empty bottles. These kids need more collectables, and asbestos.
I learnt recently that the Nintendo cartridges were intensionally made larger than the chips the games were saved on for future proofing the manufactured parts by allowing games and developers to add more chips and ram to allow their games to use the existing Nintendo cartridges without needing a new size.
Duncan's "correction" of Osie is actually a common misconception! The hats Duncan is thinking of ARE called Trilbies (props to Ose), while Fedoras are what Indiana Jones wears.
Lmao this is the best jet race, watching Lewis just constantly ram into the same spot without trying another route while Duncan crawls at 20 mph in a jet was so funny!
Here's one that my professor told when he was auditioning for The Producers which apparently made Mel Brooks laugh. A man walks into a bar in Scotland and is approached by one of the locals. The scotsman says to the man, "Ya see that table? I built that table with me own two hands, but do they call me McGuilicutty the Table-Builder? No?! Ya see this bar? I built this bar with me own two hands, but do they call me McGuilicutty the Bar-Builder? No?! Ya see that pier outside? I built that pier with me own two hands, but do they call me McGuilicutty the Pier-Builder? No?1 But you fuck one goat...!"
Duncan declaring that fedoras are the m'lady hats instead of trilbies is painful. like, they're similar enough that the trilby association killed fedoras for anyone who isn't already incredibly hot and confident, but trilbies were memed more often honestly i love wide-brimmed hats and would love a fedora with a decent brim but i do not meet the qualifications not to look like a m'sogynist edit: corrected the typo in the first sentence where i wrote "fedoras" instead of "trilbies"
My dad told me a joke once that was sooooooo long that I forgot it was supposed to be a joke at the end. the punch line was something lame too like : but he couldn't complete the jump cause trix are for kids.
0:40, Uranium glass is completely harmless, a nice green color, and fluoresces strongly under UV light, even outside on a sufficiently sunny day if the lighting is right for you to see it :) The uranium is unable to leach out of the glass, and the radiation it gives off is nothing, no reason to be worried. Medically, uranium is far more relevant as a heavy metal than as something radioactive, so it's inline with lead; however, lead glass leaches. Lead glass is commonly known as Crystal
I kinda love shaggy dog story jokes. (Short version) A man has a horse who is always sad, and has run out of ideas to cheer it up. He sees a bar is closing down and buys some of their leftover stock to give to the horse, and the horse has a delightful drunken bender to lift its spirits. Then the owner dies and the horse is sad again, but he decides to take up music so we doesn't hurt his owners memory by being sad. He joins a band of other musical animals and becomes famous, but then a private jet they're in crashes and he's the only survivor. He's more depressed than ever, but then he notices the bar is reopening and figures he can try again where it all started. So the horse walks into the bar, and the barman asks "why the long face?"
Speaking of those internal batteries for the N64 cartridges, I recently loaded up my SM64, MK64, and OoT saves and they were there still, so those batteries last for some time.
They say owning a katana and telling people about your dreams is lame, I can say from experience that when a goth witch who owned a katana told me about her dreams full of ominous symbolism it was not lame
Gosh. I liked the video after some inane joke, like 10 minutes in, gave me a giggle, but those last 2 1/2 minutes... Never before have I had such "I want to unlike, but I'll just like it again immediately" sustained for so long.
My favourite long joke: A man walks into a bar and sees a sign "Win a million pounds for 4 simple tasks". So he asks the barman, and the barman says nah, you don't want to do this, but the man insists so eventually the barman says "Alright, first you need to drink a bottle of vodka. Second, you need to walk barefoot across a bunch of hot coals. Third, you need to remove the bad tooth from the man eating lion with toothache. And last, you need to spend the night with an ugly old crone". So the man says, "a million quid? Easy." He downs the vodka, walks across the hot coals, and enters the man eating lion's cave. And there are the most awful sounds of screaming, scratching and tearing before he staggers out, covered in blood and scars. He takes a moment and goes "Right. Where's the old woman with toothache?"
PSA: swapping a Battery in a gameboy game usually requires a bit of soldering. Nothing too complicated, but more than popping the old one out and popping a new one in.
It's not super long, but is one of my favorite jokes. There was a poor dirt farming family in Ireland. All they had was this one milk cow. The would turn the milk to cheese and sell at the market to buy food. Well, one morning, the father wakes up and sees the milk cow dead. So he hangs himself in the tree. The mother wakes up, sees the milk cow dead and her husband hanging from the tree and throws herself into the river and she washes up on the shore. The oldest son wakes up, sees the milk cow dead, his father hanged and, by his mother who has washed up on the shore, a leprechaun - a female leprechaun. She says " Looks like you're having a bad day". he say "I should say so." She says "I'll make you a deal, if you make love to me 10 times in a row, I'll bring your mom and dad back, and even the milk cow". He says "why not?". He almost makes it but fails, so she kills him. The next son wakes up, sees the milk cow dead, his father hanging and his mother and brother dead by the shore near the leprechaun. She tells him "if you make love to me 10 times in a row, I'll bring you father, mother and brother back, and also the milk cow". He agrees. He doesn't make it either, so the leprechaun kills him. The youngest son wakes up, sees the milk cow dead, the father hanging from the tree, and his mother and two brothers dead by the shore, and the female leprechaun. She tells him "if you make love to me 10 times in a row, without stopping, I'll bring your father, mother and two brothers back, and even the milk cow". He says "Well, look at you and look at me, I'm young and virile, let's try it. BUT, what if I make love to you 15 times in a row?" She says, "In that case, I'll bring your father, mother and brothers back, even the milk cow and give you nice mansion where your hovel is". He says "That's fine and all, but what if I make love to you 20 times in a row?" She says "If you make love to me 20 times in a row, I'll bring your entire family back, even the milk cow, give you mansion where your hovel is and give you a big pot of gold that will last you your entire life". He says "alright let's get started in a minute, but first, if I make love to you 20 times in a row, what's to stop YOU from dying? The milk cow did."
I'm late to this video, but the mess up of Better Nate than Lever has been an inside joke for my friends from back in scouts when I had the same problem of pronouncing it differently than how the joke is meant to go. So to hear it here was a great moment for me.
Charlemagne, apocryphally, had a tablecloth made of asbestos which he would use to amaze guests by throwing it into a fire after dinner or whatever -- which is presumably the origin of Lewis' Marco Polo story
To counter Duncan as a hat expert, a Trilby is worn by neckbeards and has a rolled back brim and a fedora has a flat brim and is worn by gangsters and Indiana Jones
Didn’t the GTA 5 vids used to have a little snippet of the episode at the start like TTT? I know the recent ones haven’t, at least, but I swear they did in the days of yore.
Bouphe and Ose in the same video is a force to be reckoned with
The sisters are a dynamic duo to rival Tom and Ben
Oh my god lewis nailed it, Zylus does look like a stand up comic in his flatcap.
he looks a background character from oliver twist
“If you could have a tree that grew food” is such a classic Osie quote lmao
Pizza 😂
The Isaac Newton under the Frankfurter tree bit was one of the hardest laughs I've had in a while 😂! "I've invented gravity AND DEEP THROATING!!"
the boomer sisters' history of the world
As soon as I read this I knew it would be a boomer sister quote
7:42
Fun fact: In the American Civil War, there was a general named Ambrose Burnside. He wore such a unique set of mutton chops, that his facial hair was named after him, called the sideburns.
The Arkan Land of facial hair
Didn’t general Joseph Hooker in the same war have so many camp prostitutes that they became named for them
They were called Burnsides for a while. Until someone decided to reverse it.
The joke:
Two guys were lost in a desert. They were hungry and thirsty, and kept seeing water in the distance. But every time they approached, they found it to be merely a mirage.
Then one of them saw a tree in the distance. It had slices of bacon hanging from every branch. Food at last!
“Look,” he said to his companion. “A bacon tree. Where there’s food there’s got to be water as well.”
“No, it’s just another mirage.”
“No, I can see it clearly. It’s not a mirage. It’s an actual tree. I’m going to get some food.”
And so he took off, running towards the bacon tree.
But as he neared the tree, there was the sound of rapid gun fire coming from behind it. The guy was badly wounded, but before he died, he yelled to his companion: “Run! It’s not a bacon tree, it’s a hambush!”
if you told me this was a quote from the Dune Saga. I'd believe you.
@@glass4600dune is not based enough to include something like that sadly.
It does have duncan Idaho dying a comically large amount of times though. I still find it hilarious duncan Idaho is in EVERY book. He also dies in the first book.
@@callumprice1710 small little snippets where frank adds the “desert traveler’s” jokes during Leto atreides’ ,(the worm’s), reign. “Old fremen tales” or something like that.
@@glass4600 thats not really something any of the dunes books ever does. Especially the 4th one (which is where leto II is the ruler aka the worm). The 4th book is like super focused on philosophy and religion even more so than most of the other books. Also at that point basically there are no fremen.
But THIS version has much more pointless detail to waste your time...if that's the sort of thing you find funny that is..
Two individuals, let's call them Bob and Joe, found themselves in an expansive desert, the scorching sun beating down on them relentlessly. Hunger and thirst gnawed at their insides, and just to add a touch of cruelty, the mirages of water seemed to mock them at every turn.
Bob wiped the sweat from his forehead with his faded bandana, squinting into the horizon. "Hey, Joe, do you see that?" he exclaimed, pointing dramatically at what appeared to be a shimmering oasis in the distance.
Joe sighed, his cracked lips forming a skeptical smile. "Bob, it's probably another mirage. Don't get your hopes up."
Undeterred, Bob's eyes widened with excitement as he spotted something that seemed too good to be true - a tree! Not just any tree, mind you, but a majestic tree adorned with slices of bacon dangling from its every branch, glistening in the harsh sunlight.
“Joe! A bacon tree! Can you believe it? Where there's bacon, there's bound to be water too!” Bob declared with a triumphant grin.
Joe rolled his eyes, convinced it was just another mirage. "Bob, for the last time, it's not real. It's just playing tricks on your hungry mind."
"No, Joe, this time I'm sure. It's an actual tree," Bob insisted, staring at the bacon-laden spectacle before him. "I'm going to get some food."
With a newfound burst of energy, Bob sprinted towards the bacon tree, fueled by the promise of a savory feast in the middle of the desert. As he approached, the anticipation reached a fever pitch, only to be shattered by the sudden eruption of rapid gunfire emanating from behind the bacon tree.
The serene illusion shattered, leaving Bob gravely wounded and sprawled on the desert floor. He managed to gasp out a final warning to Joe before succumbing to his injuries. "Run, Joe! It's not a bacon tree, it's a hambush!"
The relative quiet to be broken by "if you could have a tree that grew food..." had me rolling 😂 absolute perfection
It's such an Ose thing to say. Gotta love her.
Wow, I thought I was over GTA videos, but this is actually like a podcast for middle-aged people. Perfect for me. I guess they really know their audience. Lol.
I got through 10 minutes before i even had to look at the screen to see what they were doing
Maybe its just me getting old by I actually really like these kinds of videos. Them just casually playing a game, not caring much about what's happening while generally chatting. Kind of reminds me of being on discord with all my friends, just mindlessly playing games while chatting about life and stuff.
😂 same 😂
Lewis with the bombshell hat slander on Zylus is crazy
He's not wrong though
Sideburns are named for US General Burnside, so it's very possible that sideboards is just the older British term for them. They can also be called side whiskers.
The bowl cuts Zylus is referring to is called 'The Edgar' by my students. It's really terrible looking.
Oh no, the Ben of haircuts
@@erinaxel8562Think Ben would get a bowl cut for Jingle Jam lol?
@@erinaxel8562 I know you're referencing his name, but I think it's quite mean to associate someone like Ben to bowl cuts
I see a lot of kids in school groups and the general public at work. And the amount of rats tails and mullets I see is unexplainable, and makes me instantly get annoyed.
The Edgar cut is usually a Hispanic thing. Id be very surprised if anyone else was wearing one because it would probably just end up looking like shit
I remember a radio station, when I was in High School in the 90s, that was permanently going off the air and for the last 48 hours just played R.E.M.'s - It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine). What a way to go out.
Bouphe and osie saying "yyeeessss" in the same voice, at the same time, had some real shining energy there lol ...
Such a sister sync moment!
Bouphe's pan tree joke wins
@14:07
There was one time in OKC that a radio station played "Its Getting Hot in Here" over and over again because the A/C broke in the middle of August.
The DJ went a bit mad. They were found singing that song in their underwear.
They were fine after resting for a couple days.
Random fact - the Romans came very close to working out that asbestos is deadly. They identified that abestos mines were more dangerous than other mines (it seriously devalued slaves who worked in them) but didn't quite investigate enough to realised that it was dangerous after processing.
Asbestos clothes used to exist! They were worn by some royalty back in medieval times, and were called "salamander fur" based on the belief that salamanders were fireproof.
Video reminded me of the following joke:
So there’s a farm. On this farm, there’s a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends. They do just about everything together. And one day, they’re sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer’s kid is watching MTV, and they’re watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says “you know what? I’m gonna learn how to do that.”
So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and he says to the guy on the phone, “Hey, listen. I wanna learn to play guitar.”
Guy on the phone says “no problem. Come on down.”
“No, there might be one problem. I’m a horse.”
“Naw, it ain’t a problem. We’ll get some attachments, I can teach you to play. Promise.”
So horse turns out to be a natural. He gets GOOD. And he calls over Cow and Chicken and he’s like “LOOK WHAT I CAN DO” and he jams out like Jimi Hendrix. And Cow says “holy shit. That’s awesome. I want to learn to do something like that too. What’s like that?” And horse says “Bass. Learn to play bass.”
So Cow calls up Guitar Center, and she says “Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play bass guitar.”
Guy on the phone says “No problem, miss, come on down.”
“Eh, this might be a problem. I’m a cow.”
“Nah, no problem. I helped a horse recently, I can teach you to play too. Promise.”
So Cow learns to play the bass, and Cow is fucking amazing at it. So Cow and Horse are jamming, and Chicken gets a bit jealous. He says “Damn, I wanna learn something too. But not like that.”
Horse says “Well, I mean, we need a drummer around here.”
So Chicken calls up Guitar Center, and he says “Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play drums.”
Guy on the phone says “No problem, man. Come on down.”
“Eh, maybe a problem. I’m a chicken.”
“Naw. Ain’t no thing. I taught a horse guitar and a cow bass. I can teach you drums.”
So chicken learns the drums, and he’s fucking amazing. So Cow, Horse, and Chicken all start having jam sessions whenever the farmer’s out. And one day they’re playing, and a big record agent is driving down the road. And he hears them, and he’s like “what the fuck? that sounds amazing.” so he stops at the farm, and he finds them all playing in the barn. And he says “Holy shit. You guys sound AWESOME. I wanna represent you, make this a real band, make some music. You’re gonna be HUGE.”
So Cow and Chicken and Horse take this guy’s deal, and they move to the city, they cut albums, and they’re big. REAL big. Top 10 hits, platinum albums, the works. They get set for their first tour. But there’s a problem, see. Horse gets a phone call, his mom’s real sick. Cow and Chicken, though, they’re cool as hell. They say “Listen. Go see your mom. We’ll delay the first show a couple of days, so fly back home, spend some time with her, and then jump on a plane and come meet us.”
Horse says “Thanks, guys. you’re the best,” and he takes off.
Couple of days later, Horse’s mom is just fine. Turned out to be a real bad cold, she gets over it, and he spends another night there. The following morning, he gets a call. It’s his agent. Cow and Chicken’s plane went down, they died in the crash. The band is done. he’s lost his best friends. And horse, this breaks him, man. He’s been through so much with them, and he feels real down in the dumps. So he takes a walk, and while he’s on that walk, he just can’t shake the blue, so he figures to himself “Alright, alright. One drink, just to get over it.”
So Horse walks into the local bar. Bartender looks at him and says “Hey. Why the long face?”
Get out
😠
For the Gameboy game cartridges, the screw holding them closed has an unusual head. If you don't have a bit for it, a simple screwdriver can be made by taking the plastic casing off of a pen and melting the pointy end just enough to make it soft before pressing it into the screwhead to harden and hold the shape. Its not the most durable tool, but should last long enough for a few uses.
You can also just buy a tri-wing screwdriver lmao
@@siennility4706Yeah exactly.. they're pretty much everywhere now. Especially since Joycons with them constantly having stick drift it became popular to sell tri-wing screwdrivers along with replacement sticks.
@@siennility4706 Yes, money can solve most issues. I'm providing an alternative to buying something that will be used once.
@@zrath67A tri-wing screwdriver is like $5.. you're telling someone to go get a pen, take it apart, melt it, press it into the screw to mold it, then when it cools use it to unscrew it.. so you're telling people to take apart a pen, play with fire, melt the pen, etc.. you really think that's better than just buying a tri-wing screwdriver? With the idiots in the world today..?
Yes.
Trash can be taken from a junk drawer and turned into a functional tool that can be happily thrown away, and in less time than it takes to go to the store. Great option if you don't have one and have a single use need for it. For instance, if you want to change a single battery in a game cartridge, and have no other need for such a tool, and have limited storage for unused tools. In such cases this is the best option in all regards, unless you can barrow one. In 10-20 years, when to problem arises again, just do it again. In different cases other than the one I am specially recommending this for, buying one may make more sense. @@Eventide215
"Do you reckon we'll get mutton chops back?" My brother, who has had mutton chops for the last 4 years, should be getting excited
New challenge: Go back and digitally insert muttonchops onto every character in Star Wars.
Get Corridor Digital on it.
“I feel like a lot of that stuff you don’t actually sit down and watch it, you just turn it on. It’s a lot of background telly…” Lewis completely missing the irony of GTA V + conversation content.
i've had muttonchops since december 2010. glad others are finally getting back on that train
I just need to shave the centre of my beard and I'm there
me and my friends when I was a kid took turns with a copy of animal crossing and a memory card, one week at a time each and sharing when we hung out. best experience with a single save file being shared with others.
18:59
"Come up here!"
*falls down*
"Come down here!"
You should check out the April Fool's prank done by Panorama in 1957 with a 'documentary' about the Italian spaghetti harvest, showing people taking ripe bunches from spaghetti trees.
Ok someone needs to sit the Yogs down and teach them how to fly planes in GTA, like give them a 'banner school' for planes.
Gta flying is super easy (barely an inconvenience) on both keyboard and controller...if you don't rapidly turn and spin like a lunatic
On controller use slower turns and minor adjustments using the bumpers, once you get the hang of it you can easily start adding in rolls to get sharper turns.
On keyboard you have perfect control right on the numpad the mouse is 90% useless while flying only being useful for looking around.
Sit down for maybe half an hour and fly around and you'll see your flying greatly improve and these flying levels wont be such a pain (for you guys and us) anymore (this flying level is actually a really good training course for beginners and intermediate thanks to you being able to fly slow to learn and fast to get better at dodging)
But most importantly as put above, don't rapidly turn or spin at least not until you are more advanced
Lewis judging Zylus's hat without mention of the kimono Lewis era. 😅
my fashion opinion is anything can look good if you wear it well and wear it with confidence. what "wearing it well" means can depend on the person and what fits them best, but i dont see much that just look bad no matter what
This talk about memory cards make me wish more of today's consoles used memory cards. The closest we have currently is the Switch using microSD cards.
Actually, uranium glass uses uranium salts, which are much less radioactive and are quite safe. The issue comes from industry owning substantial amounts of uranium, not necessarily from the glass itself. Fortunately, we have other ways of colouring glass green nowadays.
16:50 I think part of the idea is that you can take your save to your friend's house without having to bring the whole console or something.
Southpark did a full episode on the Prime madness. I thought it was over the top, then I found out, it was spot on.
I learned of Prime when Food Theory released a video on it, and _then_ I started noticing it in stores.
cred ;)
This video was the first I'd ever heard of it, wondering what they fuck they're talking about.
15:33 140.15 was the Codec code at the back of the CD case for Meryl.
on the topic of awful hats I have to throw bucket hats in the ring
they are just like colourful fishing hats
Spyro 3, one of the Speedways right XD, happened to me!
Its crazy how popular prime was in the uk and how in the u.s i don think ive ever even seen someone drink prime or even talk about it really
It took Zylus around 8:41 to clear that plane race race
Ben took about 10:53
Duncan took about 12:16
I wanted to keep track to see how long the others would take to match Zylus' skill. No-one took double the time, so that's nice
Zylus actually using the rudder on his airplane!? A member of the Yogs using that third axis of movement for smooth, coordinated turns?! Blasphemy!
Never disparage the flatcap. I've had them and worn them for 30 some years.
10:20 It's the Dutch affinity for windmills. The map's way easier for Zylus probably.
I’m getting slightly interested in cassette tapes, all just because of Cassette Beasts.
They were around when I was a baby, but they were well outdated
It’s funny that they went on a tangent about telling long bad jokes because I just got out of a lecture with the guy who wrote nemo and he explained how the comedian who voiced marlin went on for 10 minutes telling the bad joke at the beginning of the movie since his whole thing was a funny voice actor who wasn’t allowed to tell jokes because he was too worried about his son.
Anyways they had to cut the 10 minutes into 11 seconds.
thanks for the popcorn ceiling asbestos joke zylus, i am now both very aware about this interesting factoid and very paranoid about my ceiling!
I love how this sort of became a podcast, pretty entertaining with the footage too lol.
I imagine a Frankfurter tree would grow like a banana tree, with large bunches of sausages. And there would be different varieties with white sausage, polish sausage, smoked sausage. I want one of each.
22:29 kirsty and brionys comfort zone reference??? 😳
It's funny they're talking about people hating hearing about dreams, because I just watched one of Hat Films' earlier videos on Baldur's Gate 3, and how there's a segment of Bouphe telling them about a dream, and Trott looks just like, the most disinterested and annoyed he could be. Lol
Hamburger tree, if not mature it is a cheeseburger, with less then mature growth it is vegan, and so it changes depending when harvested
I really appreciate the conversation about bringing back mutton chops and sideburns.
Meanwhile, Jschlatt has been doing that for a little while now.
Captain price shoulda been enough for everybody back in the gap
I regularly wear a flat cap or trilby
Trust me Dunc, no one making fun of a trilby cares about the distinction between it and a fedora >:(
I can see Bouphe has updated her look in GTA, and I was not prepared for that. Looking... g-goood? I think? It IS an improvement, but I imagine the sanity damage *is* rather intentional.
Not sure if everyone knows this but that guy they invited to this video, Zulus, he's the same guy who saw Strippen in his pants!
A tutor at my college used to tell a really long joke called the white gorilla, it went on for like half an hour and the punchline was super disappointing but it was very enjoyable. I've never been able to repeat it because it basically requires reliving a long and detailed journey back and forth about 6 times and my millennial brain just wants to give the TLDR version when the art of the joke is all about building up intrigue and tension through the journey.
When i was a kid, we had pokemon. They have it too, but its ALL we had :P. Now they're collecting gods damn empty bottles. These kids need more collectables, and asbestos.
Can confirm, Cowboy hats are pretty common in Brighon
I learnt recently that the Nintendo cartridges were intensionally made larger than the chips the games were saved on for future proofing the manufactured parts by allowing games and developers to add more chips and ram to allow their games to use the existing Nintendo cartridges without needing a new size.
There are plenty of Americans down south that wear a cowboy hat on the daily, especially if it's a fancy occasion.
14:25 I think when you're flying that slow, you can just do the bumper turning.
Duncan's "correction" of Osie is actually a common misconception!
The hats Duncan is thinking of ARE called Trilbies (props to Ose), while Fedoras are what Indiana Jones wears.
Lmao this is the best jet race, watching Lewis just constantly ram into the same spot without trying another route while Duncan crawls at 20 mph in a jet was so funny!
Burrito supreme tree would be amazing
Here's one that my professor told when he was auditioning for The Producers which apparently made Mel Brooks laugh.
A man walks into a bar in Scotland and is approached by one of the locals. The scotsman says to the man, "Ya see that table? I built that table with me own two hands, but do they call me McGuilicutty the Table-Builder? No?! Ya see this bar? I built this bar with me own two hands, but do they call me McGuilicutty the Bar-Builder? No?! Ya see that pier outside? I built that pier with me own two hands, but do they call me McGuilicutty the Pier-Builder? No?1 But you fuck one goat...!"
Duncan declaring that fedoras are the m'lady hats instead of trilbies is painful. like, they're similar enough that the trilby association killed fedoras for anyone who isn't already incredibly hot and confident, but trilbies were memed more often
honestly i love wide-brimmed hats and would love a fedora with a decent brim but i do not meet the qualifications not to look like a m'sogynist
edit: corrected the typo in the first sentence where i wrote "fedoras" instead of "trilbies"
Its the cr2032 battery that you need. I've had to replace it for a few of my old Pokemon games :)
Prime was an exclusivity marketing campaign. Undersupply means it prestigious to get any.
Having a style and more or less sticking to it is pretty cool.
11:23 all those pink plane wrecks!
My dad told me a joke once that was sooooooo long that I forgot it was supposed to be a joke at the end. the punch line was something lame too like : but he couldn't complete the jump cause trix are for kids.
LoL
While I WOULD wish for a tree that grew lobsters, I feel like any form of seafood would spoil before it was ripe.
0:40, Uranium glass is completely harmless, a nice green color, and fluoresces strongly under UV light, even outside on a sufficiently sunny day if the lighting is right for you to see it :)
The uranium is unable to leach out of the glass, and the radiation it gives off is nothing, no reason to be worried. Medically, uranium is far more relevant as a heavy metal than as something radioactive, so it's inline with lead; however, lead glass leaches. Lead glass is commonly known as Crystal
I kinda love shaggy dog story jokes.
(Short version) A man has a horse who is always sad, and has run out of ideas to cheer it up. He sees a bar is closing down and buys some of their leftover stock to give to the horse, and the horse has a delightful drunken bender to lift its spirits. Then the owner dies and the horse is sad again, but he decides to take up music so we doesn't hurt his owners memory by being sad. He joins a band of other musical animals and becomes famous, but then a private jet they're in crashes and he's the only survivor. He's more depressed than ever, but then he notices the bar is reopening and figures he can try again where it all started. So the horse walks into the bar, and the barman asks "why the long face?"
My brother stopped wearing a flat cap when I kept referencing Hank trying one in King of the hill.
'hehehe, I look like a jackass'
Always reminds me of children in the 1940s.
@@tonk3878 John Bovril
Speaking of those internal batteries for the N64 cartridges, I recently loaded up my SM64, MK64, and OoT saves and they were there still, so those batteries last for some time.
They say owning a katana and telling people about your dreams is lame, I can say from experience that when a goth witch who owned a katana told me about her dreams full of ominous symbolism it was not lame
That sounds like torture
When they said crime is cool, I agreed, then remembered some crime is very much not cool.
The world needs a Bouphe and Osie podcast.
Gosh. I liked the video after some inane joke, like 10 minutes in, gave me a giggle, but those last 2 1/2 minutes... Never before have I had such "I want to unlike, but I'll just like it again immediately" sustained for so long.
I swear to God they have had some of these exact conversations in different videos
I'm wearing a pair of massive pair of 80s glasses
It's not often that Duncan DNFs a race but that's cos he couldn't get enough speed for the jump.
I'm glad I bought a Homburg and not a Fedora
now that Zylus picks the maps is he just going to win all the time?
My favourite long joke: A man walks into a bar and sees a sign "Win a million pounds for 4 simple tasks". So he asks the barman, and the barman says nah, you don't want to do this, but the man insists so eventually the barman says "Alright, first you need to drink a bottle of vodka. Second, you need to walk barefoot across a bunch of hot coals. Third, you need to remove the bad tooth from the man eating lion with toothache. And last, you need to spend the night with an ugly old crone". So the man says, "a million quid? Easy." He downs the vodka, walks across the hot coals, and enters the man eating lion's cave. And there are the most awful sounds of screaming, scratching and tearing before he staggers out, covered in blood and scars. He takes a moment and goes "Right. Where's the old woman with toothache?"
PSA: swapping a Battery in a gameboy game usually requires a bit of soldering. Nothing too complicated, but more than popping the old one out and popping a new one in.
Lewis says yarn necklaces are back, baby!
It's not super long, but is one of my favorite jokes.
There was a poor dirt farming family in Ireland. All they had was this one milk cow. The would turn the milk to cheese and sell at the market to buy food.
Well, one morning, the father wakes up and sees the milk cow dead. So he hangs himself in the tree.
The mother wakes up, sees the milk cow dead and her husband hanging from the tree and throws herself into the river and she washes up on the shore.
The oldest son wakes up, sees the milk cow dead, his father hanged and, by his mother who has washed up on the shore, a leprechaun - a female leprechaun.
She says " Looks like you're having a bad day". he say "I should say so." She says "I'll make you a deal, if you make love to me 10 times in a row, I'll bring your mom and dad back, and even the milk cow".
He says "why not?". He almost makes it but fails, so she kills him.
The next son wakes up, sees the milk cow dead, his father hanging and his mother and brother dead by the shore near the leprechaun.
She tells him "if you make love to me 10 times in a row, I'll bring you father, mother and brother back, and also the milk cow". He agrees. He doesn't make it either, so the leprechaun kills him.
The youngest son wakes up, sees the milk cow dead, the father hanging from the tree, and his mother and two brothers dead by the shore, and the female leprechaun.
She tells him "if you make love to me 10 times in a row, without stopping, I'll bring your father, mother and two brothers back, and even the milk cow".
He says "Well, look at you and look at me, I'm young and virile, let's try it. BUT, what if I make love to you 15 times in a row?"
She says, "In that case, I'll bring your father, mother and brothers back, even the milk cow and give you nice mansion where your hovel is".
He says "That's fine and all, but what if I make love to you 20 times in a row?"
She says "If you make love to me 20 times in a row, I'll bring your entire family back, even the milk cow, give you mansion where your hovel is and give you a big pot of gold that will last you your entire life".
He says "alright let's get started in a minute, but first, if I make love to you 20 times in a row, what's to stop YOU from dying?
The milk cow did."
Lewis you are the background tv.
The greatest sideburns were undoubtedly Isaac Asimov.
I'm late to this video, but the mess up of Better Nate than Lever has been an inside joke for my friends from back in scouts when I had the same problem of pronouncing it differently than how the joke is meant to go. So to hear it here was a great moment for me.
Charlemagne, apocryphally, had a tablecloth made of asbestos which he would use to amaze guests by throwing it into a fire after dinner or whatever -- which is presumably the origin of Lewis' Marco Polo story
Bouphe looking suave in the thumbnail
To counter Duncan as a hat expert, a Trilby is worn by neckbeards and has a rolled back brim and a fedora has a flat brim and is worn by gangsters and Indiana Jones
ive had my mullet for 2 years now and it was the best decision of my life.
i found a fortnite map called castle invaders is using diggy diggy hole song as the background
lol, Hambush reminds me of the Ambush monster in Adventure Quest
Didn’t the GTA 5 vids used to have a little snippet of the episode at the start like TTT? I know the recent ones haven’t, at least, but I swear they did in the days of yore.
Wow, 24 minutes of rambling just for, "If you had a tree that could grow food, what would it be?"
Worth it.
Better Nate then lever
Honestly a great read
It's enough GTA, Lewis, but I need more Frankfurter trees inspiring both science and sexuality in equal portion.