Standing Alone: The Ultimate Widow Superpower | Mary Oves | TEDxGrandCanyonUniversity
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ก.ค. 2022
- Widowhood can be a launchpad for strength and reinvention according to widow, writer, and Stockton University professor, Mary Oves. The idea of singleness and being alone can be a powerful stage for anyone, widow or not. Mary Oves is a professor of
English at Stockton University
in New Jersey and a freelance
writer who has written for
The New York Times and The
Philadelphia Inquirer. She
speaks nationally for the
Soaring Spirits Organization
and is the 2022 Grand
Prize Winner of the Erma Bombeck Humorist-
in-Residence contest.
Mary Oves entertains her
readers five days a week on
her website, The Chrysalis
Collective, and is working on
a book of humor essays to be
published in 2023. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
I needed to hear this, lost my husband 2 weeks ago. Sudden death of a healthy 42 year old man, no signs, no illness, no warnings. He was gone in a matter of hours. I’m absolutely heartbroken and devastated. Feeling so lost and scare of the future. Blessings to you all. 🙏
So sad for you. It happened to me too. Some of his friends thought it was a scam when I replied to their text messages to him on his phone. They insisted to know details which kinda upset me. All I can say is I learned to put sadness aside for most of the day & then I take a nap. Dealing with paperwork for bank accounts, etc is so tiring but I found that I need to make lists of who I need to call & notes when I call them cause I forget. I had to call & cancel his cards, notify relatives. It’s just exhausting. But it is getting better. My neighbor just lost her husband to a heart attack so we compare notes. Virginia I’m sending you a prayer & a hug 💕 mrs Z
@@fredziffle5219 thank you for your kindness, I really really appreciate it. I’m still in very much disbelief and think he will come home any minute. It’s so painful, sad, frustrating, so many questions, so much uncertainty.
I’m also so sorry for your loss and your neighbor, I clearly know the heartbreak. Blessings to you and I do receive your hug because I need it. Thank you. 🙏
So very sorry…
@@equynenergie thank you 🙏
No one deserves this, I’m sending prayers your way, I pray God heals your heart
7.5 years out from being widowed at 35. We WILL find our happiness once we find ourselves in this new forced life. Love to all fellow widows and widowers. WE WILL persevere!
❤❤❤
Hello, how are you?
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from,?
Great talk Mary! I am a new widow now at 37.. I have to literally tidy up this life and close the chapter on it and move back to my home country of Ireland to create a new life from scratch having lived with my husband in CA for the past 7.5 years. It feels terrifying at times as I only have some friends here to help when they can.. but every day I get up and accomplish all of these awful tasks, I shower, eat healthily and walk the dog! No one can believe how I am doing this.. but what is the alternative? Lay in the fetal position all day accomplishing nothing? Fall into a deep, dark depression numbing my pain with God knows what? Widows are strong because we have no other choice! It is up to me to create a big, bold and beautiful life for myself.. the only option is strength and I pray for it every day. Thank you for this talk.
Hi fellow widow friend. I just started a TH-cam channel to empower and equip widows to master all the new things they have to manage after their husband dies. Perhaps it could benefit you. I'd love to see you over there! @ryanetotherescue. Blessings my friend!!
Look up the autobiography Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer.😇
Hello 👋
Me too, i lost my husband two weeks ago, whom i married for 16 years, i am now 37 and still weeping for my beloved husband😢
@@muanawmi597 I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from.?
Lost my beloved husband 2015 December, he was only 43, he was brutally gunned down. I have just turned 39 at the time. Now, I’ve just turned 48, with twins, boy and a girl, they were only 6 years of age when he passed away, they are now 14 years of age🥰🙏🏾.., What a rollercoaster of a journey.., but, I keep on soldering on🙏🏾 Dating…, non existent to this day. My kids are my everything, my besties.
My husband died recently and people were telling me the same thing. I am so glad I found this. Praise Jesus!!! And I am an aspiring writer. I have a story to tell!!! Thank you!! Widows Unite!!! 🫂
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from ?
My beautiful soulmate died in a car accident on 25th May 2023 ❤ he had turned 39 only a few days before he passed. I love him so much and this is so hard but I will try, for him.
I'm very sorry about your loss, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from ?
There is no widow Barbie. I am forever changed and enlightened. I needed this today. Thank you.
Yes! From one widow to another. We all possess super powers. We just need to believe it!
I couldn't agree more we humans role is to be proactive in creating the happiness that we desire -- and frankly in this patriarchal world women have to be twice as determined to succeed. Best wishes.
Hi fellow widow friend. I just started a TH-cam channel to empower and equip widows to master all the new things they have to manage after their husband dies. Perhaps it could benefit you. I'd love to see you over there! @ryanetotherescue. Blessings my friend!!
Look up the autobiography Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇
Thank you. My husband of 30 years, is currently battling pancreatic cancer, I am 48 yo. I am attempting to prepare myself for what is ahead of me.
Don't worry my dear, everything will be okay. when I lost my wife I know what I passed through. Don't worry okay everything will be okay.where are you from?
Can I help out ? How much do you need 🥺🥺
I love this, Mary. 17 months widowed. Moving forward, accessing my spark, following my bliss and making new roads into my life and capabilities. Bravo. I will look for your other writings and work. I love inspiration.
Look up the autobiography Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer.😇
Perfectly said..... Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please excuse my manner. If you find my message abusive, I'd love to be your friend and hope there's nothing wrong with that.
Hello Terri how are you doing
I needed to hear this today because I come from court regarding my late husband’s estate which left to my children
He died 3 years ago and am planning to go with my children to live in abroad because society is so cruel to us
Thanks 🙏🏽 for the informative video
Three years and counting. I miss my husband, but I did realize I am now free to do whatever I want. If I can't have him, I'm going to at least enjoy myself. And spent a lot of the insurance money remodeling my house!
Hello Katherine how are you?
Never get despair, Got is always with you. I best wishes and compliments are always with you.
Do u wish he was still alive?
Katherine I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from ?
One of the first things you said madame spit out my coffee. Thank you for paving our way. Now I have to finish this coffee and try to figure out how to start a frozen snow blower
Hi fellow widow friend. I just started a TH-cam channel to empower and equip widows to master all the new things they have to manage after their husband dies. Perhaps it could benefit you. I'd love to see you over there! @ryanetotherescue. Blessings my friend!!
Look up the autobiography Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer.😇
I needed to hear this. I am so proud of myself and my beloved would be too.
Best speech I have ever heard ever
widowed or not...all women have so much power...
14 months ago, my life changed forever. My dearest Tony took his last breath. I will never get over him or the loss. He was my world 🌎 ♥️. Thank you for sharing ❤️ 💕 ♥️
Hello Rhonda 😊
Lost my husband suddenly a month ago. It is difficult and painful.
I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from?
I lost my husband two years ago the journey very tough no good job hustling in a hard way trying to make ends meet for my four children especially two are in school not a joke putting food on the table its by the grace of God trying my level best but guys its not that easy
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from ?
Just what I needed to hear. God bless you for sharing your widow wisdom.
I was left with no insurance, barely enough SS to live on. If l had insurance money l could be more sure of myself.
Sadly many widows only have SSecurity to live on and in their seventies and eighties.
Look up the autobiography Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer.😇
Got a job at age 62
I'm a widow 48 years old I lost my husband when I was 39 in 2015 I was left with a 10 year old and a 13 year old to raise now I'm an empty nester both are doing okay despite not having a father for the last half of there childhood.the thing that scares me now is trying to navigate my life most say I'm to old for remarriage and looking for work is tuff I feel like I have a big mark on me now.
Do u wish he was still alive?
In a lot of ways yes,I missed not having some one to talk to at the end of the day I missed doing projects with him around the house I missed cooking with him in the kitchen he was better at it then me .What was really heart breaking about it was my kids lost there dad at a point when they would have needed him most. I hope that answer,s you qeastion.@@nimittkhare3201
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from ?
Idaho, but originaly from California.@@ChrisJohnson-lh9qb
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away, few years ago, almost lost my life,
i hope your kids are fine now?
were are you from?
Thank you!
So good. I still struggle after two years. I have a couple of "lightbulbs to change". I'm going to use my super powers and get them changed!!
I m a widow n loved that
Thank you
Thank you, I've never had to go it alone before but I am sure that I can do it. My late husband encouraged me to stand on my own two feet when he knew that his time left was limited and that I'd have to and you have just confirmed it for me, I can do it.
Hi fellow widow friend. I just started a TH-cam channel to empower and equip widows to master all the new things they have to manage after their husband dies. Perhaps it could benefit you. I'd love to see you over there! @ryanetotherescue. Blessings my friend!!
Look up the autobiography Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇
I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from ?
Hello Tina
Well done Mary!!
15 months ago I lost my Gracious. It's hard and I know it will always be hard but I know I have to persevere for my sake and for the children. RIP G
My husband just passed away I feel such an emptiness
Do me a favour .... Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please excuse my manner. If you find my message abusive, I'd love to be your friend and hope there's nothing wrong with that.
I know your pain. Please remember that you are the one that has life still. You aren’t the one that died… even though you sure feel like you did too! We are ALLOWED to fall, but don’t forget to dust off your own shoulders and keep putting ONE foot in front of the other… I became a widow at 35 with a 7yr old and 4yr old twins. I’m 43 now, never remarried and I don’t date. But I’m still growing the courage to try some day. WE have to remember that WE are still here and no matter how long it takes… we WILL persevere. Take the wheel! It’s YOURS.
I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort
2:30 I lost my life long love after 35 years and I am terrified of starting over and I needed to hear this too!!!
Awesome, Mary!!!! Congrats!
Hello Abby how are you
I as a widow agree with everything you said...
Hello
Memories about Emily breaks me all up 💐😭
13 years out here, as a widower, I never remarried or replaced. I love being a bachelor and am having the time of my life. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and you have to survive it however you can. I loved my wife, but as selfish as it sounds, I also love myself. I do whatever makes daddy happy and don't apologize to anyone for it.
Look up the autobiography Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇
I don’t know if anyone think it’s even more difficult being a widower
I have had nothing but good experiences with government agencies, friends, and strangers since my husband’s death.😊
I'm so sorry for your loss praying for comfort and peace 🕊️ this is a wonderful site to get comfort
Jesus is with us!!!!
🙏🙏❤️
Yes! yes! yes! I decorated my house with the insurance money, took off my wedding ring, and quit my job after the first year of being a widow. Only widows can understand why I might have done those things.
Look up the autobiography Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer.😇
That was useless. She spoke about a damn lightbulb. How delusional. Some of us have little children, our husbands were our best and only real friends, and life partners, and still have life to continue at a younger age. I would of loved to hear about more then a damn lightbulb.
I just finished also watching and I thought what she said was pretty true though feeling like you're marked and my last kid just left home so I can understand what you're going through I was widowd 8 years ago and it was the worst thing I ever went through and now trying to figure out were I go from here. I'm going to keep listening to her for awhile.
What the f has happened to TED?? This rubbish. Did anyone tell her how she actually looks in that dress? Sorry for your loss but what does this have to do with the purpuse of Ted? My aunt just became a widow, and all her life, deferred to the domineering abusive husband. I’m wondering what it could be like.
Just what I needed to hear. God bless you for sharing your widow wisdom.