Tattoo Enthusiast Reacts To: AITA Tattoo Posts
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.พ. 2025
- Hello My Darlings
In todays video I read some AITA posts on Redit that are tattoo related!
How do you feel about these posts ?
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My oldest son is trans. I also had a tattoo of his dead name. I had to save up for two years to be able to get the money together for a cover up and then had to wait for the shops to open. Until I got it covered up I would keep it covered. He didn’t have to ask my to. I did it because I am his mom and it is my job to make him feel comfortable.
You sound like a really great mum, your son is so lucky to have you ❤️
That was the biggest red flag in that story for me. It wasn't "I would like to cover it/have it removed BUT I can't afford it right now", instead it was "this is ridiculous, they are asking too much, and anyways I can't afford it." Dad's heart definitely wasn't in the right place with that one. You, however, sound like you have a wonderful heart and the best intentions
@@halesb7085 I can understand ur point but not everybody's mind works the same. The change was prolly really hard for him too. So just saying he SHOULD be doing this is putting his daughters wishes/mental health above his. And yes you could argue that that's your job as a father but tbh I don't think so.
Would it be okey to add her name to it? Or would that be really offensive?
My dad wanted to get a tattoo of my deadname before I knew I was trans and asked me about it, I felt wildly uncomfortable at the idea without really knowing why. Luckily it didn't happen, I cannot imagine having my deadname permanently tattooed on someone's body.
I had a lily tattoo on my forearm, as this is what I named my only child. He came out as trans this year and my tattoo artist changed it into a badass sunflower (sonflower). It's the only tattoo in my collection that has meaning and it's by far my favorite
Supporting your son, while managing to incorporate a pun is peak parenting.
What a touching symbol of accepting your son. Wish there were more mums like you♥️
Ahaha sonflower. I love that 😍
You absolutely win at parenting
Son-flower!! That is phenomenal, wonderful parenting!
My parents when I came out as queer: “that’s chill, we don’t believe in heteronormativity and gender expectations are BS”
My dad when my sibling did not like Star Trek: *DISOWNED*
LOL 😂
Your parents sound amazing! Mine are super homophobic and it's so depressing 😣
@@alexdavies7112 I relate more to having the dad from the post, my father is probably big homophobic what with being a Southern Baptist and all and my mom says she supports me but gives me "this is too hard" vibes
Story 3: could have been handled better, sure, but the fact that Sarah asked OP for a recommendation and did not give a straight/honest answer when asked what she was getting, means she knows what she was doing was wrong
My thoughts exactly, she must have known she was in the wrong. And whenndit comes down to it, she wanted cheap and she didn't do her research. The OP gave her a chance to come clean and didn't.
That said, she could have sent her to a shitty tattooist that wasn't likely to give her sepsis and still had her revenge. Idk what I would have done in that situation, maybe when she said she was still thinking about it I would have said outright "oh because I heard you were looking at copying my super personal tattoo, but you wouldn't do that because that's just silly and would be a shitty thing to do..." And left Sarah to mull that over.
So i'm torn, I don't think OP is the asshole but on the one hand...Sarah was given a chance, she showed she knew she was in the wrong, and it is hilarious, but on the other sending her somewhere unlicensed...I wonder if OP could have lived with possible consequences if Sarah ended up with sepsis because of her "recommendation"?🤷
About the girl who got the tattoo on her foot. If I was in her position, I would have been willing to compromise at first. He has a foot fetish, this is clearly something she is WELL aware of. I would have accepted the compromise of getting it done somewhere else with the understanding that I was still ABSOLUTELY getting it. But the second he started using controlling language would throw that out the window. The second he used the word "forbid" I would be out that door on the way to a shop.
I think that's a very fair approach, also I felt so bad hearing/reading about the girl feeling guilty and apologizing for the tattoo... dude, make a place for a better one, sorry not sorry
Low-key if you're gonna be that big of a twat about someone's body changing, whether they changed it themselves or not, then the best thing is just to ditch that relationship man.
If they're gonna let physical changes THAT SMALL fuck up your relationship, then they weren't really committed to you as a person.
I absolutely disagree. She’s not a sexual object for his pleasure and she deserves full body autonomy, meaning she should be allowed to get whatever tattoo wherever the fuck she wants. If it’s that big of a deal to him that’s his problem.
@@madeleineamos4621 of course she deserves full body autonomy. That's never in question, here. I am simply saying what I would do if I was in her shoes. It is not weird to consider your partner's opinion when making decisions about your own body, especially if you're in a long term relationship. They shouldn't have final say by any means- and like I said, when he tried demanding shit, all bets are off.
That is just human nature. If you tell someone not to do something that is a guarantee they will do it.
"Do not have children if you cannot support them no matter what..." how much I've loved you in that moment
So true, and thank you for saying it. It's something that should be always granted but unfortunately...So thank you for sharing this thought 🧡
For the boyfriend one, I would understand talking about possibly moving the tattoo to a different location as the feet are a place of fetish for him. However the forbidding of it and then saying she disrespected him goes way beyond the boundaries of any relationship. Discussing your preferences and why you do or do not like something is fine, controlling your partners body is not. And then gaslighting them for using their bodily autonomy, what a shit boyfriend.
I’m a trans person and, while I can’t speak for my whole community, I personally think you’re completely right with the makeup solution to the first AITA; if he can’t afford laser or a coverup, that’s fine because it’s not in his control, but using concealer to cover the deadname is a very reasonable compromise until that’s possible. Also, thank you for your kind words of support for the LGBTQ+ community!! It truly warmed my heart 🥰🥰
it’s not the best solution but there’s also all natural at home tattoo removal methods, using stuff like salt to exfoliate the skin it will slowly go away! as long as you do ur research and follow the reccomendations it can be safe and effective :) just requires a little extra time and patience
@@j9497 I'm really sceptical about that salt exfoliating method, physical exfoliating only removes the top layer of skin while tattoos are placed much deeper in the dermis
The salt solution has been proven to be a hoax. To remove a tattoo with the abrasion method you would have to scrub down to the bottom layer of your skin which would leave you with a massive deep hole pouring with blood which would need stitches and possible a skin graft. You would pass out before you got anywhere near that stage with the agonizing pain.
Zoe can I ask if the bloke could add Athena to the list of kids names or would that still be offensive to the daughter.?
@@ninolover6286 I can’t give a definitive “right or wrong” kind of answer but I imagine she’d appreciate the gesture, but would probably be uncomfortable with the fact that her deadname is still on her father’s arm. In my opinion, the more important thing is that her deadname is tattooed on her father’s arm, not that her current name is not there, so I think adding the daughter’s current name ~could~ be a nice addition, but that she would almost definitely appreciate her father finding some makeup to cover her deadname more :)
As for the first one, that's why I won't get my kids names tattooed on me. I just had my first born (husband's second) I'm thinking of getting birth flowers for the the months that the kids were born to represent them and that way it could easily grow of we have one more
That is such a sweet idea! I love the thought of collecting tattoos of the birth flowers of all my people into a little bouquet 🥺
Yes, I have my daughter’s birth flower to symbolize her - I think it makes things easier :)
Most people I’ve seen don’t put their kids names. I’ve seen birthdates, foot or hand prints, and symbols. A coworker from an old job got boxing gloves with her sons bday because he was premature and had health issues to symbolize him being a fighter. Birth month flowers would be cute too.
Yes, I'm doing something similar with a tattoo of my children's birthstones on my wrist.
I am honestly kind of worried for the foot tattoo girl. Her bf sounds really toxic and she seems to not understand why everyone is pointing that out to her, assuming it's all about his fetish. Which it isn't at all.
I agree, it kinda gives me the vibes that he only sees her as a sexual object for his pleasure rather then her own person with body autonomy. If it really bothers him enough to ruin the relationship does he really even love her?
As a trans person with plenty of experience with people like the dad in the first one, I can tell he’s one of those people that doesn’t actually support his daughter. I bet you anything he still refers to her with the wrong pronouns and name when he’s with his buddies. He used a lot of passive aggressive shots at his wife in that whole passage, and I think he purposely used buzzwords/phrases like “divorce” and “yelled at me” to victimize himself to his daughter and wife.
And then the whole “I just don’t understand why it’s a big deal”. Yeah. Because you’re not trans - your daughter is, and you have something on your body that is a CONSTANT reminder of what was probably one of the worst periods of her life, emotionally. Sure, it’s not something you can jump up and get done in one single day - it’s a process, it’s gonna take some saving, it’s gonna take some time. But if it’s something that hurts your child, why are you so against it?
My other point is, why is he so attached to the tattoo in the first place?? Hm? It’s almost like he’s holding onto an identity that no longer fits his child because he doesn’t ACTUALLY support her transition. Just food for thought. If you actually supported her transition and saw her as your daughter, why would you be so attached to something that represents her as your son??
Okay OR he simply has a very hard time adjusting or is being forced to adjust faster than he can. I totally understand that it is important to have ur parents support ur decision but this also goes the other way around. U have to support ur parents to adjust. Not everybody can just flip a switch and be like we'll u r a woman now. And having someone yell at you are a wife who constantly throws around the I ma divorce u card is not helping. Mental health especially for trans people is important but disregarding HIS mental health is also toxic.
And the part about him wanting to keep the Andy cause he doesn't support the change at all is pure assumption. Isn't this what we shouldn't do? Just assume how people think and why they do things? But ofc this flies out the window the moment someone has a differing opinion then he can screw himself? 🤨
I was being tattooed 2 weeks ago and there was a woman beside me having a cover up. An ex of hers made her get a tattoo she hated because her original design made her look like “a goth”. Don’t let your partner ever tell you what to do with YOUR body. Yes they may not like tattoos or piercings or if you want to change your hair colour but at the end of the day it’s your body your choice
I have this idea for a video, but there's a bit of homework involved. I'd love to see the different themes/symbols that were popular over the years. Like in the 60s, Sailor Jerry anchors and pinups might have been popular and then the 00's maybe the infinity symbol was popular. Now in 2020-2021, the plague doctor tattoos have become very popular. I just think tattoo themes over the years could be so cool.
ooh id love to see something like that
Sarah could have been straight up with the OP and things could've been different. Regardless, lets be real. Sarah should've done her research, it's not OP's fault imo.
She knew what she was doing was wrong, when she didn't answer OP's questions about the design
@@missoona7130 Exactly, she knew exactly what she was hiding
The story with the controlling boyfriend scares me a little. He's passive agressive, he berates her one minute only to say everything's fine the next and he tried to put a wedge between his gf and her friend. He's all red flags and my only advise to the gf would be to get the hell out before he becomes physically abusive as well.
on god man i've left relationships in the blink of an eye when something that toxic and controlling happens and talking about it is either doing nothing or even ignored, idk about that person's situation but my mom would welcome me back at any age with open arms for me to look for my own place omg that's a def leave situation
I just commented on this topic. I don’t really see it as that controlling. Dude is toxic for sure. But as a survivor of severe abuse, this behavior is toxic not abusive/controlling. For there to be control, there has to be a threat in place otherwise. Like…. “If you get that tattoo you can’t live here anymore” which is threatening your safety of having a home to live in right? Just an example. He was toxic and an asshole and a walking red flag but he didn’t actually control anything she was doing. As an abusive survivor, language is important as over exaggerating toxic scenarios as if they are abusive… discredits actual victims of abuse like myself. That’s just my opinion though! That woman willingly chose to go back to their shared home. Willingly chose to get back into bed with him. From what she explained he didn’t actually force her to do anything.
@@canary3853That’s not at all true. It’s 100% controlling. Being controlling doesn’t always mean threats and clear manipulation. It can be very subtle. Let’s be clear, a lot of “toxic scenarios” are actually subtle forms of abuse. You don’t speak for all abuse survivors and you certainly don’t speak for me.
As someone who is trans, I 100% agree that there's more going on with the first story than what was posted. People generally don't go from 0 to divorce over the span of one conversation, and my mother also had to have the "If you won't support my child, we are going no contact" talk with my grandmother. Perhaps I'm just projecting, but it feels as though he sees his daughter coming out as a hassle/annoyance, just based on the way he is writing about her.
It's also really lovely to see how fiercely you clearly care about trans people
Yeah, it totally seems like there’s way more to the story than OP is presenting. Also, I don’t know if your dn is your actual chosen name, but Seth is my chosen name too! I’m non-binary, though.
@@badva5292 Seth is my chosen name as well! It's a good one~ I personally picked it from a Goosebumps book ;)
I get how Athena feels. I’m a trans person and seeing my dead name hurts. I have a feeling it’s not the first time this convo has happened, especially with the mom, so the mom probably knows how upsetting it is. If he doesn’t make even a tiny effort like makeup then I’d feel the same as the wife. Divorce may seem extreme, but we don’t know what else is going on here.
Yea I basically commented the same thing already but I am also trans and I believe he is leaving things out but the way it is presented , that reaction is completely inappropriate . Because to me , in the story it is if you don’t alter your body in the way we want when we want , you’re out of the family . His attitude about makes me suspicious tho
@@prestonbussell575 it just sounds like the family made the choice for the dad to get it covered up eventually. It just sounded like he didn't want to change it period but I hope it's just a financial issue and he will eventually have it covered
Side note: I love the name Athena so so much
Yeeees!! That's what I immediately thought of too ❤️ and then I looked at my goddess Athena tattoo and smiled 😅
Our bearded dragon is named Athena 😁
If he doesn’t have the money or time right now to change his daughter name, fine I don’t see how he is being an AH in this case. Only problem is if he isn’t willing to do it in the future when time/money is more accessible to him
i have a feeling he’s not telling the whole story. there’s a huge chance he’s being far more transphobic, and far less respectful of his daughter outside of the tattoo topic and this is a final straw.
@@buggoeth7225 this !! As a trans person I’m so tired of hearing these vague stories about trans ppl supposedly being irrational, I’ve been the subject of those stories and they always exclude the years of transphobia lol
The thing is, I think he’s lying about that. They would understand not being able to do something financially, I just think he’s trying to victimise himself in the situation and make them seem much worse and unreasonable than what they truly are. The truth is, he doesn’t believe or care about his daughter more than his fucking tattoo and changing that would affirm to everyone around him that he has a daughter. He made a comment on reddit knowing that it would foster transphobia and misogyny but thought that it didn’t matter because that would just encourage his beliefs. He doesn’t give a shit, he’s just being a shitty excuse for a father. He’s not going to change and is just going to be a lone man with a tattoo.
@@buggoeth7225 this. An empathetic and serious tattooer would offer a solution. I'm def not cheap as a tattooer but I would come up with a solution if his money was really so tight.
The issue is his attitude, he's looking for assurance that he's right in shrugging it off as a non issue and not being empathetic towards his daughter. If his wife is threatening divorce over his attitude you can read between the lines and see that it's more than just his lack of funds to cover up the tattoo
The fact that he deadnamed his child on reddit without thought really says a lot :/ especially referring to her as [T22] instead of [F22]
My mother left my family for another man when I was 14. For 20yrs I tried to make the relationship work with my mother but it was not salvageable. About 5 yrs ago my stepfather got a half sleeve based on his Nordic heritage. Part of this tattoo has my first initial in it along with my sister's and his daughters. I was never asked if I would be okay with it. I don't like this man. He caused me serious PTSD. I stopped talking to them last year after my grandfather died. I didn't see the point in trying anymore. She should have never had children. Anyway I really hate that he has my initial on him like it's sentimental or something. It seriously bothers me. I hope he covers it someday.
Oh gosh! So sorry 🧡
@@treacletatts this was the first time I expressed that to people who probably understand why I feel that way. Thank you for that. Love your content💜
As someone whose stepdad has my Chinese zodiac sign on his white self. (no one in my family has any Chinese heritage) I relate. I wasn't asked either.
I'm torn, yes I'd like it better if he would represent his daughter in the tattoo but understand that money can be tough to change...maybe he could get the Andy name covered up and give Athena a new tattoo somewhere else...I feel the wife threatening divorce seems extreme...and it feels he's not including all that has gone on
If we knew what was going on and if this isn’t the first time, I understand the divorce comment. As a trans person, it is really painful seeing or hearing my dead name, so I get how Athena is feeling. She probably has brought it up with her mom and how upset it makes her
@@ohnoheb I'm sorry to hear that you've gone through it and I understand how that could be painful, but without the whole story we don't know if it's the first or fiftieth...maybe if the wife and he had an understanding of what it would cost and what would make Athena happy and set a goal for it maybe it would make Athena content until he can tat again
Yes. Since Athena is a Greek goddess, he could maybe even cover the name itself with a portrait of her.
It's not so much what he says but how he says it that seems soooooo off base
From what little information was presented, I think all three are a little selfish and entitled.
This is why, unless it’s an animal, a fictional character or a person who is no longer alive, name tattoos make me feel icky😅 I get that it’s a cute idea to have your kids name tattooed on you, but then there’s always a possibility that they are trans (or even if they just want their name changed). I feel like more people and tattoo artists should know this.💜
That’s a really good point. I’ve said the only names I would get are my kids because that’s the only relationship that could never change, but I never considered the potential for a name change if one is trans.
I would be sooooo embarrased if either one of my parents would have a tattoo of my name, though! Even worse if it's a portrait of me as a baby or somehting..... Urgh, no. Just the thought makes me cringe really hard. And I am a fully grown adult with a great relationship to her parents. Just imagine teenagers, who are practically embarrased by everything their parents do, and then going out with a parent that has their name very visibly displayed on the body.... No. Just no.
Don't get me wrong, I really love tattoos, but this is a case where I really don't understand why people do this. I mean, I get the reasoning behind this, but in this case this is very selfish imo because no baby or toddler could really give you their consent to use their name or portrait as a tattoo. Just stick with the fotographs of your children in your wallet or name stickers on cars, please....
My daughter was an annoyed that after 3 tattoos, I didn't have one for her. I don't like name tattoos for so many reasons, but that is certainly part of it. Instead of her name, I was considering her birthday and star sign, something that wouldn't change. In the end, I went for a silhouette of her doing something she loves filled with a galaxy tattoo. It's her, without being *her*.
I agree with your take on the dad in the first post. if he REALLY cared about supporting his daughter but being able to afford laser/cover up was the only issue, he could easily wear concealer or even just put one of those large bandages over the part that says "andy" & assure her he'll get it fixed when he has the means to. it's clear he left out so much info & probably isn't all that supportive of her.
@@adk7165 I mean yeah at least when he's around her I don't think it's much to ask? if it's disrespectful to call her by her deadname then it's also disrespectful to force her to look at it every day
@@adk7165 yeah I'm not reading all that lmao
@@somethinggenericidk I swear, they make it seem like covering up a name is like running a 10k marathon. It's not that difficult to be respectful 💀
@@hxney_bree yeah seriously like, putting on a band aid is NOT difficult
@@somethinggenericidk But it’s on HIS body. The entitlement to controlling someone else’s body is a bit ironic, no?? Sounds like she needs to grow up and come to terms with a few things.
That behaviour of kicking up a fuss and being passive aggressive and then being like "it's fine, I won't bring it up anymore" after she gets so upset and guilty that she starts crying is TEXTBOOK emotionally abusive behaviour. He wanted to make her feel bad, he got what he wanted, that's that.
My husband doesn't like tattoos but I opened up to him about how a couple of my old ones made me feel and he was ok with me getting cover ups.. he wasn't ok with me getting more until I sat down and explained to him the reason I like tattoos and the concept behind a couple I wanted.. we came to a compromise that worked for both of us.. in a relationship you aren't going to like everything the other person does but you both need to sit down and have a discussion and be considerate of eachothers needs and wants (obviously to an extent) . my husband didn't like tattoos but he also didn't understand why they are important to me once I explained it to him he became more open. I get my second cover up this fall and am now working on a full sleeve of new tattoos
@Rachel Forshee honestly, when in a relationship I consider both individuals’ body choices their own decision. Obviously comes down to the people in said relationship but at the end of the day it’s your own body, they dont have to live in it
Glad you're happy with this but this feels disgusting to me. If a boyfriend ever told me, not to get a tattoo I'd tell him he don't have to date me.
My last ex tried ti stop me shaving my head, there's a reason he's an X.
Tho, I understand relationships are about compromise. Maybe I'm a tad hot headed, unsure.
Hope your next tattoos go well
@@kaycollarfeildI totally see both sides of things.. I do think that tattoos are sometimes an exception, because they are permanent and expensive so in our case finances play a part as well.. part of our compromise was I make extra $$ separate from our house finances (I.e. my regular job) to pay for the work I want done.. but also I think having the dialogue with him that my tattoos held significant meaning to me also made him understand I am not getting some random tattoo that I will regret later ( my two cover ups were never regrets, one was just no longer relevant in my life and the other is just to make the significant part stand out more 😀) also once I got my 2 new pieces he realized tattoos are more artistic than back 20+ years ago, he's coming around slowly he can be stubborn haha
Idk the idea of my body being a place of compromise doesn't sit right for me. Glad my partner also thinks tattoos are cool
@Rachel Forshee I’m in a relationship and have been for nearly 2 years and I would never compromise on my body autonomy
I love how you're like "I'm going to try and keep my mouth shut. Not react till I'm done reading" and you made it through almost a whole paragraph 😂
The last one with the 'copy' tattoo really bugs me. Like, I understand the satisfaction of the petty revenge but that's someone's body and health that you're endangering.
I think it's also worth nothing that Sarah, having apparently no tattoos, might not understand the taboo that is copying a tattoo. I don't have tattoos and had never even thought of that until you mentioned it. I'm also a singer and people doing covers (doing your version of someone else's song) is a staple of our industry. I understand that it's not exactly the same, but I don't think you can assume people outside of the tattoo industry view 'copying' in the same way unless it's explained to them. Yeah Sarah was being a bit suss about it but the way the poster handled it feels worse somehow.
i had a similar situation with a "sarah" except that i told her NOT to get my tattoo, because its a memorial tattoo for my cat that passed away. Well, she got it anyway! even though i told her i would be mad. it was even something i designed myself!
I am crazy and love AITA post. Some of them get me totally enraged but then others it's like no way this is real. Also seriously you always look amazing 👏😍
Thanks cutie 😄🧡
Those kinds of toxic, controlling relationships make me so sick. My sister was married to a POS who “forbid” her from cutting or dyeing her hair. He was also narcissistic and abusive in about every way. When she finally left his ass, she immediately cut and dyed her hair and looked FANTASTIC! My heart goes out to anyone in this kind of relationship and I hope you’re able to realize you deserve better and get out of there soon 🖤🖤
I've got a severe undercut and the amount of comments I get along the lines of "I'd love to do that but my husband wouldn't let me" is honestly insane. It is my hair, not my hubby's, so I do what I want with it - you wouldn't think that was so revolutionary.
I mean, the first one could be pretty easily solved if he just asked his daughter or even wife "Well what would it be best for me to do?", instead of blowing it off as not a big deal. Plus he doesn't seem to understand what being trans really even means judging by the title of the AITA.
Also, third person totally is an asshole.
For sure..
He could jist say."love I'm sorry, right now I don't have the money for that. What can I do until then?"
Situations like the one in the first story is the reason why I had already decided to not get my children’s names tattooed on me when I have them. I will get a tattoo for them, but something to represent them when they become their own person.
I also suggest reading some tattoo stories on r/tifu (today I fucked up) and I feel like reaction to r/badtattoos would be a fun video idea
i really hate even the title of that first one. she didn’t just change her pronouns, she changed her name, gender identity and probably many many things. it’s seemingly very dismissive of an extremely momentous life change just in the title alone.
the post was also very ‘i’ centric, ‘i’ dont have a problem with it, it’s too much for ‘me’ to do, ‘i’ dont see the big deal. like yeah but your daughter who has to see their father’s lack of true acceptance tattooed on their skin does my man.
*1st story* He's the AH for taking the situation as an non-issue (he has something that makes his daughter sad written on his arm) not the fact that he can't afford it.
This is not: "I have my child's deadname on my arm and can't afford getting it fixed, what do I do?" but "AITA for not doing it?" doesn't sit right with me.
It sounds like he also refuses to cover it around her. I understand not being able to afford one right now but still, long sleeve shirt around her. Unless he has it tattooed on his face-- that brings up some other issues....
I had an ex boyfriend once tell me I couldn't wear dresses in public or high heels because guys would look at me and I would be taller than him. 😂😂
LOL my god men can be so fragile
X told me not to shave my head cuz he felt like he would be dating a man. Such an embarrassment he's even on of my Xs
@@kaycollarfeild Noo, that's the worst I tried dating a man and he asked me to grow my hair because "with how you dress and the short hair people will think I'm dating a guy" I run away from that as fast as I could, like I don't mind that people think I'm a guy I'm totally okay with that and use to it but asking me to change so you don't feel insecure that's just 🤬 are you kidding me!
@@LanaMayfair15 but like... you looked the same when you started dating... or? If so, why would he even engage in a relationship if he was SO WORRIED people would think he was with a guy?? Idgi, like why is people's (in 99% of cases, strangers on the street) opinion about a relationship more important to some than the relationship itself? Like you don't date someone you don't like (I hope), so obviously he did like you, your personality idfk... but your appearance/how others and strangers perceived you was his issue in the relationship? Talk about homophobia tbh... that you would rather your partner change their appearance to be less androgynous/more femme, just so you won't worry strangers think you're gay... WHAT IS WRONG WITH PPL....
@@KrisHe1 yes we were just starting to date he met me like that but suddenly I had to change to be with him I immediately saw the red flag he was probably super manipulative for how he tried to convince me... So... Bye bye! He even made a comment about my brother having super long hair like it was not okay at all 🙄
I have a trans child. I got a tattoo with zodiac symbols to represent each of my kids. I also feel that there is more to that first story.
I agree. Covering up names should not be that expensive. The cheapest solution would be to get a dope cover up and just update the tattoo elsewhere. That may cost a few hundred dollars, which isn't cheap, but it is reasonable. He can wear clothes that cover it in the meantime. Other people recommended bandaids. Good concealer works too.
Yes more AITA pleaseee!! So entertaining seeing the pettiness lol
Re: The girl with the foot tattoo. I KNOW my boyfriend probably would have preferred that I left my hair my natural brown instead of bleaching it, dying it green and blue, and giving myself an undercut. However, he recognizes that it's my hair and my life, and loves me anyway. He also likes my hair now that he's gotten used too it.
My bf dislikes piercings. Guess who has piercings! The only thing he gets upset about is that I insist on having them when I am immunocompromised and have gotten infections just because of a seasonal change.
i feel like with the trans daughter one, i understand that he might not be able to afford it at this moment in time, and that ok, but he should’ve had a conversation with the daughter to come up with a more temporary solution, such as covering it up with makeup or even temporary tattoos just while you save some money, and i’m sure she’ll understand that you are doing everything that you are financially able to at the moment
This is why I don't think you should get ANY names tattooed unless they're memorials and the person their for has passed on. As much as we'd love to believe someone will mean and be the same person we love all the time we know them, they won't. I hope that girl and her mother leave him. I'm sure it means the world to her that her mom is being a good mama bear and not just defending her, but being proactive in how she can actively improve her daughter's wellbeing. Don't get a tattoo on someone's behalf, and then have the audacity to be indignant when they aren't happy with it or they feel it misrepresents them. Why did you get the tattoo in the first place for them if you don't give a shit about who they are and doing right by them? Narcissism that's why lol.
I love this reaction series!! The AITA is even better than the tiktok reactions & discussions, which I didn’t think was possible. (Also, I think your suggestion about the concealer is very workable and realistic. I’m not trans but I am part of the queer community and I could def see that suggestion being floated!)
Story 1: yes, definitely the asshole! Cover that shit up if you can’t afford to fix/cover/laser it! That’s what I would want my parent to do (or what I would do for my child) in a situation like that. Luckily I’m not in that situation, but I would respect my child no matter what!! Also, as you mentioned, there are definitely pieces missing to this puzzle.
Story 2: NOT the asshole! Your body, your choice. Anyone who doesn’t agree with that can fuck right off. This boy is being manipulative and lots of red flags.
Story 3: I’m conflicted. Lots of ways to have avoided that situation all together. I think it’s funny that she got a shitty tattoo, but the potential infection is throwing me. On one hand, the girl knew what she was doing was wrong, AND should have done her research before being tattooed, so that’s completely on her. But I do agree that a conversation should have been had instead of messing this girl’s life up. Idk 🤷♂️
My issue with the first one is that the dad thinks his tattoo is a 'none issue' and doesn't understand why his daughter wants him to change it. He doesn't have the right to decide what hurts her and the fact that he doesn't understand why it does just shows that he isn't taking the time to talk with his daughter or learn about the trans community. Obviously nobody is ignoring the issue surrounding the cost of having it changed but reassuring her that he wants to change it would cost nothing. I also feel like this should have been something he should have brought up himself, I can't imagine how upsetting and stressful it must be to have to be the one to point out that it's not ok for him to be walking around with her dead name on his arm.
@@adk7165 I don't think she's entitled I think, reading between the lines, she's expressing it's painful for her to see a constant reminder of her dead name and his instant dismissal of the idea of a cover up hurt her. If you can't understand why this might be a big deal for someone maybe do more research on trans people and educate yourself. Parents are supposed to put their kids before themselves.
My biggest annoyance w the aita subreddit is that people purposefully word titles in a clickbaity way and it makes me roll my eyes lol
Omg I dropped my phone on my keyboard in an effort to rush respond... what a spud lol 😆. I loooove AITA and Reddit threads.... the tea is fun to read aha
For the lady who's got the controlling no tattoo's allowed boyfriend. I'd say get out asap. I used to live with my mother who was using coersive control (abuse) on me, I got a tattoo one day to represent her and what she means to me. (I wasn't aware of the abuse until it got much much worse). She lost her shit, threw a mug and the coffee splattered everywhere. Told me to get out of her face, how dare I do this to her, who did I think I was, She can't stand to look at me I make her sick. I eventually left home 3 years down the road and now haven't been happier. She really needs to break free, before he breaks her anymore than he already has..
as a non-binary adult, I think makeup coverage until the dad can get the removal/coverup would be a WONDERFUL solution and show of support.
As a trans person, if my parent had a tattoo of my deadname and my theoretical siblings name and would not rchange up my deadname i would be pissed as hell. but if they completely covered up the deadname i would feel left out. in this case it would be a temporary compromise to cover up all letters except the initial. that way she can still be present with her siblings until the father gets laser removal and a new tattoo
"The disrespect was worse than thw tattoo." I beg your pardon? How is there any disrespect? She mad a decision for her OWN body. He is making it sound like she tattooed him, while he slept or something. What the hell.
That boyfriend sounds like a manipulative bully; it wasn't enough for him to hate the tattoo, she had to feel crushing guilt for getting it. I've been with guys like that before, they chip away at you until there's nothing left. You become this blank slate that has no say in anything, one guy I was with even tried to forbid me from buying my own food.
If it was solely based on finances I would have more compassion for that dad- that's not something you can help. I would just promise to keep it covered at the very least when she was around until I did have the money. But he clearly sees this as a non-issue while it ABSOLUTELY IS AN ISSUE. He's the asshole and you can tell by how he talks about her and even introduces her with her deadname that he isn't being totally honest about potential past transphobia.
Also I fucking love her mom. Hell yeah THAT is how you parent.
The last story, not the butthole. Hell I genuinely enjoy bad tattoos personally. I have some really big nice pieces from a great artist that I love but I also have a ton of not so good tattoos from a guy in a garage and I love them 🤣😆
For the trans one, I would add athena to the list rather than change the tattoo. This is because athena was born after the other siblings. I thinking adding to the list, solves the money issue. Depends how covered he is. I dont have an issue living the dead name on his arm, as its his memories too, i just think athena should be added, otherwise he has a tattoo for to of his other children but not for her.
On the first story, I am really saddened by how so many people in the reddit comments said he was NTA. Keeping her deadname on his arm is a huge "fuck you" to his daughter, full stop. It's the equivalent to getting the name a bully called her in her childhood tatted on him.
It's a permanent reminder of what many trans people want to put past them. I saw a comment saying they didn't understand why deadnames were supposed to be "erased from history." Um??? Because deadnames make almost all trans people uncomfortable and dysphoric. If Athena wants it gone, it should be. And like you said I suspect the dad was omitting details about his "support."
By the words the dad in story 1 uses, it's apparent he's the one struggling here. He even admits it's a work in progress. IMO, what would make him the a****** is not the fact that he couldn't afford a new tattoo or laser. Reasonable people would understand that that could take time to fix. What is messed up is his insistence that he doesn't see what the " big deal " is even though his wife and child are communicating what the problem is... to the point that they are willing to distance themselves from him. Throw on a long sleeve shirt, throw some makeup on it, or get a new smaller tattoo to include his kid along with their siblings (after asking if his kid would find any of these acceptable). These minor changes would be nothing if you love someone. No one you love should have to convince you that their feelings should be important to you.... unless you're an a******.
*2nd story* : In the end, your body, your choice. Him trying to make the issue about the friendship ( * red flag * ). Her still getting the tattoo but behind his back rather than feeling like he could handle an adult conversation. Break up already. Even if BF isn't as toxic as it makes him look, you still have unhealthy dynamics.
The worrying part of the first story is the fact that the guys wife needed to threaten him with divorce in the first place just to get him on board he's already the A hole before the tattoo.
I'm a father of an 18 yo daughter her happiness comes above everything even my own
@@adk7165 So the wife getting pissed about him not supporting his own child is TOXIC??
Hearing the first story reminded me of my mother's tattoo. I'm trans, and my mother got a tattoo on her ribs with flowers and mine and my sister's names on it. But she got it years ago and it's my dead name. I have no idea how to bring it up to her that it makes me feel uncomfortable that it's there. Hell, no one ever sees the tattoo so she would probably think it's a non-issue and dismiss it....
lauren i appreciate how much support and love you always give to the queer and trans community 🤎
💕
Trans guy here, our deadnames might have fit us once because we had nothing else to use, but they are no longer representative of who we are. You don't call a butterfly a caterpillar or a chrysalis. Sure, the same base components are still there but we change so much that the old name doesn't match us at all anymore, just like a caterpillar completely dissolves inside a chrysalis and is rearranged into a butterfly. ...or a mothman :D
I also think the first guy was leaving things out . he probably has been invalidating her gender for a while now
The one about the woman being controlled by her boyfriend made me so sad. I wanted to reach through the screens and shake her until she sees that her boyfriend is literally made of red flags. He sounds like the worst kind of person
I'm surprised Reddit judged that last one as Everyone Sucks -- Sarah did it to herself.
Never been in a relationship but I seen many failed relationships in real time; If you feel the need to get back at your significant other after they forbade you from doing something, you're both being toxic and shouldn't be together. All relationships have arguments but it shouldn't become to the point where you're in fear of backlash or have you're autonomy limited.
The first one, YTA for sure... like just the whole phrasing is off to me. It's such a "everything is fine now, because unless I accept my child's gender my wife will get a divorce - but we're all fine now". Well obviously it's not fine... ofc a tattoo can't be covered or whatever the second someone comes out to you as trans unless you roll in money. But from my understanding, he had been told of his child's gender for a while before the tattoo was brought up. Tbh if I had kids, and got their names tattooed, and one of them came out as trans, I would start saving asap to change or cover it. No one would have to ask me; i might confirm if they would like for me to do it, as sometimes kids do form a love for a parent's tattoo about them - but regardless, I'd find a way to incorporate my child's proper name and gender instead of pushing on an existing tattoo. And as he has all his kids' names, people would wonder if they saw him with his kids and saw the tattoo - like either one of the kids is not present/one of the kids is not his, or idk... like I feel certain the child would think about others seeing the tattoo when she was present, and then doing the judging etc... I'd be so uncomfortable, and I'm not even a trans individual.... this guy is looking for approval to force his child to see him not fully accepting his child by standing his ground about a tattoo that is deadnaming his kid.
A quick google search, and you know deadnaming is top 3 things not to do. And also while you're at it, look at suicide rates among trans youth, followed by suicide attempts and reasons why trans youth have high numbers of suicide attempts in the first place - lack of understanding, lack of acceptance, transphobia in general, but even harder when from those closest to you. Which makes sense. You can ignore strangers on the streets or online. But when someone you love, who is supposed to love you - does not do the bare minimal to respect you, accept you... nah that shit hurts... and if the wife is agreeing on fixing the tattoo, it doesn't seem like they are living off of breadcrumbs either... like she might be a negotiator between her daughter and the dad, but if money was the issue I highly doubt the wife would pressure him, or not at least say they could save up to it... like idk if it's a name tattoo, it's most likely not that big??? Idk tho, some people get half their arm with one name in massive, bold writing... but if three names, it shouldn't be too hard to idk add something above, as well as maybe the extra name... i get laser is not everyone's first choice, but tatoo cover-ups is pretty common and very much possible...
Thanks for all the amazing uploads! Your videos are always so great to watch!
Story 3:
Its totally possible for both sides to be assholes. No one said there could only be one. Lol
On the first one: I'm trans and if one of my parents had my deadname tattooed on them (especially in a visible place like the arm) I would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable and not okay with that. I feel like any name tattoo can be easily covered up seen as most artists who do cover-ups probably deal with names the most out of any kind of tattoo, and even if money is an issue, his daughter I feel like has been out for long enough that he maybe could've already been saving for a cover-up if he actually cared about not having the deadname on his arm.
I feel like if he actually understood and cared for her he would've realised the issue with the tattoo independently and wanted to change it anyway
The guy that got mad at his girlfriend for saying that she can't have a tattoo is controlling, yet the mom threatening her husband over his tattoo is perfectly fine. What hypocrisy.
It’s not just about his tattoo. She was threatening divorce over him not supporting their daughter’s transition. That tattoo is evidence that he’s not supporting their daughter because he doesn’t understand why it is harmful and hurtful that he thinks it isn’t a big deal
The dad should do a cover-up when he has the money for it, it's called dead-name for a reason, it brings upon immense anxiety, depression, and dysphoria whenever we get deadnamed. A father of a trans-child should know this.
I understand where you’re coming from, but I have my son’s dead name on me, and he doesn’t care. So don’t speak for all trans people, k?
@@MudkipzLuvr great that your son is ok with it and you have a good relationship. But AS a trans person I can say that of someone ever deadnamed me by refusing to coverup a tattoo, they'd be out of my life forever, parent or not. I do not speak for ALL transfolks, but I do know how it feels to be deadnamed.
My sister has my deadname tattood and she refuses to cover it up or anything, so everytime she comes over (multiple times a week) with short sleeves, I am reminded, and I feel disgusting. That name doesn't feel like me any more, but it does to my sister, and it makes me feel so gross
@@baltobud8 I'm so sorry to hear that💔
@@MudkipzLuvr That's fine for you and your son. But this guy's daughter has VERY clearly stated she does not like seeing it and it upsets her. Why would you refuse to do something that would help your child feel more loved and accepted?
When I was 17 I wanted to get my nose pierced, and was planning on just doing my nostril, but one day I saw an advert with a girl who had a septum ring, and I thought it was really cool, mentioned it to my boyfriend at the time and he FLIPPED out. So of course, because of his reaction I HAD to do it. And he did nothing but complain about it, and he even refused to kiss me with it in (it was an old horseshoe style one that I could tuck in my nose when I was around him). I stayed with him for another miserable year after that.
At least you are out.
Yes! You should unconditionally love your children, and unconditional love should only be for your children
To the first dad. I would say look up Leelah Alcorn. Read her letter. Would you rather have a dead "son" and 3 living relatives that hate you, or 3 healthy daughters and a loving wife? Mourning a son that never existed is only going to make you lose your daughter.
I really enjoy this kind of content. Your opinions are really interesting and its a fun way to interact. Keep up the fantastic work!
So wait, someone is an asshole for not being able to afford a new tattoo, let alone removal, which is very expensive and takes many sessions 🤔
The last one made me laugh, although I do agree that a simple conversation and recommendation to a good tattoo artist that wouldn't copy the tattoo, but use it for inspiration is a much better solution. The second one is a DUMP HIM situation, from my experience he won't change and the tattoo will be bought up whenever he is upset about anything and used to guilt trip his gf.
I love the AITA videos on Tik Tok...so entertaining 😂 Looking forward to your video 💗 Looking gorgeous as always 💗
Thanks lovely 🥺🧡
I love AITA posts!! And ones on tattoos? Even better!
I love the bow in your hair😍
I absolutely love reactions to reddit stories, you should totally do more videos like this😍
The last story of the girl copying the tattoo that was for the OPs relationship gives me MAJOR homewrecker vibes
I will gladly blackout my entire hand in the future if it means making my child happy.
My dad after I come out: I wanted to get a tattoo for all of you kids, but I had ideas for (dead name) and not Luckas.
He's saying it in the same way cismen disparage and joke about their "terrible wives".
Me: Luckas. We're part Irish and my name is literally Lucky as Silver. A cauldron of silver coins. A four leaf clover. An anchor tattoo with each link on the chain being "carved" with the name of each child.
My Dad: Oh...
He never did get that tattoo, but he has a new family now.
I did the same as the girl hiding her tattoo. I already have a pretty big top back tattoo, half a sleeve my boyfriend hated each one when he saw them and critizied something everytime . My friend who's a tattoo artist, offered to tattoo a atom on my heel because I confessed to her my illness, and I wanted her to tattoo something she loves to do on my rib cage, it was a 10cm long alien. I felt like I had to hide it. It was this summer and it was super hot but I wore a long t-shirt and jeans for days.
Um your boyfriend sounds controlling and toxic I hope you broke up with him.
@@dragontears actually he's the father of my kid as well, been together for 8 years now. I thought it was because he met me without any tattoos and +60 something lbs so basically a different person, I didn't figured it was controlling af before this video.
Id go a step further and say that even if you don't have a preference for tattoos in dating, it doesn't mean you should sit your partner down and ask them to not get a tattoo. Most of the people I've dated had had a thing for brunettes, but if I said I wanted to go blonde one day they would never say not to do it because they don't like blondes. I am more than my hair colour. Same with tattoos
In the first one you say he needs to get a cover up or use makeup to cover it up and then in the second one you say nobody can tell you what you cant do with your body.
Went to go read the comments and found out I’m early like everyone else 😂 That father is definitely leaving some stuff out. I get that coverups and laser are expensive but it seems like there’s more going on than just the tattoo
I’m a trans masc person and personally it’s the attitude around the first tattoo is the biggest red flag . Like personally I think it’s odd to expect someone to alter their own body for you especially when it would cost thousands of dollars. I fully think the father is leaving out details or twisting things , but at face value, threatening divorce unless you’re partner spends money and tons of time to alter their body is also a big red flag
First one. As a trans person, I think everyone there is in the right. Lasering and retattooing is hard and expensive. But I do understand the daughter wanting it changed. However, I think it might just be better to not have the tattoo visible around that daughter if it's that big of a problem.
Second story. As an overall concept, I don't think that it's a problem to not want a partner with tattoos. From how the story was described, they had a very blunt conversation upfront where both agreed to no tattoos in the relationship. Obviously, her mind changed later on, so they should have just talked. They did. When he stood by his original opinion, they should have just broken up.
The third one was just very petty and is honestly shitty. It's shitty to copy tattoos, but it was also a very immature way to handle the situation. OP knew that they weren't just a bad artist, they were unsanitary and dangerous. It's messed up to have a blown out tattoo and on top of that, she has an infection. That's very costly, painful, and can lead to serious injury. And OP still found it funny after it was infected.
Personally, for the last one, I would have spoken to the artist who did my tattoo and explain the situation that someone liked the tattoo and wanted it but you didn’t want them to have a direct copy of the tattoo as it’s really personal then the artist could have given the girl a decent tattoo safely and in the style she liked. Sending her to the scratcher could have seriously hurt her and also her mentality towards getting future tattoos.
Here for the trans rights. Love you!
My father has his dead name on him, he’s had it for years (it’s in a very old style,) and I love it, even though I’d prefer him to have cade (new name) on him
"I don't like tattoos." Well then don't get any... I don't see how that's my problem... keep your rules to your own body, hun. I'll live after mine
I think the last one, with the copycat tattoo, is an asshole but not THE asshole. The girl shouldn't be copying someone else's tattoo without asking first and should have done an ounce of research before getting it done but OP should have been the bigger person and sent her to a reputable tattoo artist. OP could have even sent her to her artist and explained to them that she feels uncomfortable that the girl is getting a copy and ask the artist to convince her to make some variation to it
This was a good time :) you should definitely do more of these!
I like your tapestry in the background 🌙🌟
I always wanted to do an "AITA" post of some kind but every time I utter the words people run in from other rooms to yell "YES!!!" at me before I can explain anything. 🤔
If the father can't afford laser removal/a new tattoo, that is completely understandable. Both procedures can be expensive. However, he needs to have his child's dead name covered/removed. I have a tattoo on my ribs dedicated to me, my brother, and our cousins. I don't have anyone's name or initials. But I've got the colors of all our birthstones as well as the Roman numerals for our birth months. But if for any reason my brother or one of our cousins didn't want me to have this tattoo anymore/ anymore tattoos dedicated to them, I 100% respect that!
The girl with the controlling boyfriend: she is not an asshole, he kinda is.
The girl that recommended a bad tattoo artist to a girl that wanted to copy her tattoo: my opinion is both girls are kinda assholes.