i know a drunk that uses this phrase all the time, except he doesnt follow it. gets real angry if you disagree with him on anything or god forbid even use the phrase yourself 😂
When the ex wife decided to steal from the family, treat me abusively... and when she apologized to me after I divorced her.. She said, "I could have handled that better." I then said, "it is what it is.". Nothing else. I then moved on with my life without her.
I would say that in most cases people eventually get over grief and they mean what they say when they say it is what it is. They've truly accepted it and moved on.
Classic example - Asking somebody on a date. They say no. Do you push the matter until you get what you want or is it what it is? Sure you'll question yourself, you'll doubt the other person but eventually, once all the dust is settled, it is what it is. With age comes better discernment on what moves and strategies you can make/take to sway whatever it is that's happening in your favour but at the end of the day, the dice will roll on whatever number it rolls on, and no amount of sulking can change that. It is what it is 🙏
@@Kenobi-vu9mb ....you can't do this on internet. I just didn't have anything else to say💀. Shidz is so much in control, that's all I meant. And btw, for girls, there is a possibility that she's a one of those for whom words are just a means to a bigger game. I considered that she denied that the first time. I considered another take, direct or indirect. Tagging me a predator is weird, suddenly. I'm not talking about sticking to one for life, bro. Plus if you take right lessons, there are things that you will not do next time and THOSE will get you love. So if that is true, why wasn't this present case too always in your control? How can you declare that you want a relationship with somone and you have absolutely NO influence on her decisions? Sounds absurd now?
Don't forget that which you can't control. Observe and understand them. Ignorance leads to people like Biden being allowed to be installed as one of the most powerful people in the world. FJB
Yes and no. I remember things I couldn’t do anything about 40 50 years ago. Some of those things can be revisited massive corrections made. It is what it is. Sometimes a wolf wins sometimes you win.
Acceptance is one thing. Burrying your problems inside you like a pressure cooker until it all blows up is another. Be careful thinking you're really letting go when you're not, and some things you shouldn't let go. It's not so simple as people make it out. If you can't solve something turn over to God.
They say you get what you give. Never got what I gave got nothing when I gave my everything. Hard truth but one that opens your eyes to one of the realest lessons you will come to learn. You don’t always get what you give. Truth be told it is what it is. 💯
Maybe not from the people you expect it from, but you'll certainly get back what you give and much more.... Never ever give up on yourself and not on your dreams
I disagree. I believe we get exactly what we give, and it's all governed by the laws of Karma. Action/reaction. The thing is...the rewards and punishments are scattered so we can't pick up the patterns, in order to preserve some sense of free choice. And make no mistake...Karma is exactly what it is.
I have used the phrase “It is what it is” for well over 20 years now. Sadly though, my wife hates it when I say it. But again, it is what it is! Acceptance…….. It doesn’t mean you have to like something. But embracing this concept brings unbelievable peace of mind, and clarity of thought!
I also say: "Life goes on without me" It doesn't care about my feelings and I am not the center of the universe. Also Rolling Stones philosophy: "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need."
Yeagh this video is for pillow fingered fools, whom lack coping skills. If someone leaves you it's not your place to be upset with them for wanting for them. It may be rude, irresponsible, and disrespectfully disloyal, but... it's there right. And a detriment to you, but, sulking is a waste of water and time.
Pretty sure my stepfather beating me from the point I was 7 years old until I was 15 and having to run away from home to get away from it to live on the street and get molested as a child would prove that ideology wrong.
Oh that Rolling Stones song! Yeah that one and ‘Ruby Tuesday’ as well, great song, which I haven’t thought about in years. Another one: Jigsaw Puzzle/‘Just trying to do this jigsaw puzzle before it rains anymore’. It’s hard to get a lot of detachment in youth I think.
God grant me the Serenity to accept those things I cannot change, and the Courage to change the things I can, and grant me Wisdom to know the difference.💕🙏💕
@@jacobmcandles1745 That is where I learned this little gem of a prayer. It def helped keep me sober. Learned it in 1985. It is still effective in my life today.
Sometimes, saying, “it is what it is.”, is the proper response in the manner of Napoleon’s famous phrase, “Don’t interrupt your enemies when they’re making a mistake.” As an example, if you’re going to tell me how to do my job, and it goes south (because I’ve seen this over and over), it’s a waste of my precious life energy to prevent you from inflicting damage on yourself due to decisions made due to your ignorance.
Yep, that’s my mantra. Many, many things in life I could only observe, had no control over how things played out. You have to come to accept: change what you have the power to change, the rest just is what it is. Learn and move on.
Well said. Everything that happens to you good or 'bad' happens because God either allowed it to happen, or directly orchestrated it FOR YOUR GOOD IF... you have the right response to it. There is a verse that says: "God causes all things (All Things in the Greek means All Things) to work together FOR GOOD to those that love God, and are called according to His purpose"
No , it is what it is, goes further then that. Change what you can, when you live the way of it is what it is, you have been going one way ling enough to know, don't change anything, hold the line, but change nothing! They change or it changes, but go with the flow of what is.
@@beentheredonethat5908 Um.. peoples IQ are dropping dramatically after reading what you wrote.. Do you think you can be a little more clear in your communication in terms of grammar so someone can understand your point? Or I guess it is... what it is.. however.. what is it?
@@beentheredonethat5908 I study Buddhism, and certainly the Buddha taught to accept what you find and flow with it, the path to serenity and inner peace is basically not to resist what is. And while I study Buddhism because I overall agree with the philosophy, there are some things I’m just not going to fall in line with. For instance, we have to detach from everything to avoid suffering. Sorry, Buddha, I have four kids, I’m attached, suffering is going to be a thing I do. Same thing about complete acceptance of what is: I grew up in a very abusive and toxic environment. Doing nothing would have meant my death. I had to change, if not the environment, at least my own mindset. Sure, I could have accepted without resistance what my father and sister did to me and just died. I guess I would have been “dangerous” all right, to MYSELF. So sure, you can follow your path of complete nonresistance, accepting everything, even your death, without a struggle. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.
This phrase makes no logical sense since it’s circular logic, that is, “ begging the question “. It’s also a sign of passiveness and avoidance. As someone said earlier it’s a cop out. You don’t want to change the situation and you’re not even going to try.
If you try to control things that you can not control, you will make yourself crazy. The point is not that you should never pursue your dreams or should give up on things that you want. The fact is that you will come across things that you cannot change and that is what it is. Trying to change the unchangeable is where the issues lay. Do what you can, be persistent but know when you are better off moving on without it. The need to control things that are ultimately out of your hands can put you in some bad situations. Appreciate what you have and the experiences that you lived through. Remember people are either a blessing or a lesson and as long as you learn the lesson and adjust accordingly it was not a totally negative thing.
Master shi heng yi shares a similar sentiment when he talks about not trying to push bad things away and pull good things towards you. Good and bad will come and go. It is best to not run from or toward them but to embrace their existence. Aka it is what it is. Use it to grow. 💯 Definitely not a quote but if you haven't listened to master shi heng yi, its well worth it.
If I can do something to rectify a situation, then it's within my control, I'll take care of it. If it's beyond my control, I don't dwell on it, "It is what it is". 💯 Percent. GBPT 🇺🇸🙏
This is something used a lot by my people. No matter what happens. Children dying in an accident, natural disasters, wars. I sometimes think that this comes from a sort of resilience passed on from generation to generation for the last 2000 years, being here in the south-eastern Europe in the middle of wars and invasions.
This phrase can be used in many context's. I have had a bad situation were this phrase was used. I'm a musician, and I had my close friend on keyboard in my band (I was closer to him than any of my band-mates & we are all good friends). We had a major big gig to do in a great venue, and everybody agreed to do it (no problem). The problem started when my keyboard player sprung it on me that he had to do some teaching at the church that same day (and he had to borrow the rhythm section of the band as well ). And then, I had a minor problem with transport for him to get to the gig which was supposed to be after his church music lessons. When I finally sorted out the transport problem (he was going to be picked up), he turned his phone off and told the rhythm section that the gig was called off, so they may as well stay in church and keep on playing. I had to do some kind of performance at the gig (which really sucked) because my name would have been black-listed otherwise. Anyway when I confronted my so-called friend the next day he just gave an uninterested smile and said "it is what it is", and I could clearly see that he could not give a f--k and he clearly didn't want to talk about it (let alone apologize). I saw that our (so called) friendship was not a friendship at all.
It is my VERY FAVOURITE phrase. And i HAVE accepted that i cannot control things and things are as they are. The best thing is to accept things that are not in my control.
It is what it is and always has been since time itself began . If you can understand that then you understand the ' Serenity Prayer ' . " God , Grant me the Serenity to accept the things that I can NOT change . Grant me the Strength to change the things that I CAN Change . Grant me the Wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE ." Serenity , Strength and Wisdom . The 3 keys to live life by .
I had Terminal Cancer. 3 years of struggle surgeries, chemo.. at one point, I just accepted it, as it is, but not giving up. My roommate said he had never heard such a thing, in such a situation. I told him, it is what it is. We can change it, but accept, that it is, then move forward. ps I beat the cancer!
This phrase was first used by Edward I know as Longshanks. He phrased it as, It is as it is. This wasn't said in the way it's said today, in fact it was a very serious comment. It was meant as, 'That's how it is, what the eff you gonna do about it'? He was the most powerful man in Europe at that time and he was a 'fuck around and find out type of person. He literally killed a man just by shouting at him. The phrase is actually a threat and I recoil when I hear a builder saying it to the client. Client: I'm not happy with that finish. Builder: is what it is. Our clients were educated rich people in the wealthiest parts of London, they would've known this phrase and it's meaning
I was married to a narcissistic alcoholic who used this phrase often. It can also indicate a severe lack of caring for the needs or feelings of another person- you may not want to adopt this phrase as a typical response to others.
I know someone like that and they say that alot....and they are EXACTLY like that!!!! He also is not capable of true love because he does not want to put any effort into a relationship and you have to accept him only on his terms! this is a dangerous man to love! And he won.t care if you walk away because " It is what it is!"
That's a man that doesn't love anything but himself, or a man that doesn't mind being with a woman that he doesn't love because it gives him power, amusement and/or pleasure he can take or give away on a whim. When a man loves, he's fixated.
I see the power in The phrase. But I often see people use the phrase as a way to sort of bypass the emotional side of things. For example, someone might share something crappy that happened to them and you might respond with "that really sucks" and then they might say "it is what it is'. True - it is what it is, but it also sucks and there's emotional side that has to be accepted that people don't want to face or aren't aware of
It has been a standard retort of mine for decades. My ex (a brilliant behavioral RN) told me long ago that control is an illusion. She was correct. You cannot control other people, ultimately, so simply let things go. IIWII.
I really believe context is extremely necessary. That's a phrase that can be helpful for dealing with an unreasonable person. You're just agreeing to let them be as they cannot be reasoned with, without pointing that out to them directly as it is pointless.
❤I'll add my own 💯 percent belief in "It is what it is". Sure has been true in my life, though I get to decide what I do ON MY OWN! Period. Proof Positive.
Jst bcuz they say it doesn't mean they actually accept it. I had a chick i went back and forth with for years and one our first arguments she used that phrase. And then proceeded to stalk me when i accepted that she accepted we werent gonna work. Words can have power certainly. But u can NEVER b truly sure of someone's true feelings behind those words. Human beings are complex and many of us wear well crafted mask.
I have an autistic son. His autismn won’t go away. It’s gets more complicated as he gets older. But there is fuck all no one can do to fix it amd his mum and I are here to deal with it. It is what it is🤷♂️
I personally HATE THAT PHRASE !!! To me , that's saying your willing to put up with things the way they are . That your thoughts don't matter and your afraid to speak your own mind !!! Its just a bail out phrase like not saying yes or no !!
Another one of my favorites (in addition to this one of course) is “you are what your record says you are.” This is my way of not living in the past, pretending that I am still what I once was. It’s also my way of not living in the future, pretending that the next time will be different. It’s my way of accepting what I am right now, with the knowledge that if I want a different outcome (a better record), I need to get better, do better, and be better.
Yeah, these final times, we "uncomfortably" have to face the devil, and it's disgusting enough, for sure. but: It's STINKY SMELL doesn't reach my Heart anymore...😁
Thats ONE way to look at it . I always figured they should finish the saying , "It is what it is ..... because no one has put the effort into changing it . "
@@chrisb7198 That is where the whole lie is . I guess you are right , it is more accurate to say we have lied to ourselves to believe this because we are too lazy to apply the effort that change either an event or the way we look at the event . Always easier to be a victim .
@@I_am_Diogenes WTF are you going on about? Are you saying I'm lazy because my brother died and I know no amount of "effort" can change that? It was over 50 years ago and my life went on but my brother is still dead. It is what it is. Stop your bull sh*t.
100 for sure. I used this exact phrase when messaging my in laws. They live up north and had to be told by me that my Wife was under Hospice Care and they all choked in saying how sorry they were for their sister AND me. I first responded with this exact phrase but didn't realize why until Sir Anthony explained the definition. That pretty much is how I felt at the moment. Enlightened.
Boy you didn't spell a single bit of that french right, nor did you use the right words together. Stick to your book of made up stories aka that bible you referenced. BC you suck at french 😅😅
“Acceptance” often is just recognizing you can only change yourself. Acceptance isn’t being a doormat. It’s recognizing what constitutes a waste of energy. I was raised by wolves and I approve this message.
@@majorwedgie8166 ABSOLUTELY!! It is also what is commonly stated when one actually comes to the REALIZATION, that one is just a COG IN YOUR WIFE'S MACHINE, and that SHE DOESN'T GIVE A FAT RAT'S ASS ABOUT YOU, OR YOUR NEEDS. FORTUNATELY...I have a JEWISH, THROATCUTTING ATTORNEY on RETAINER for just this kind of situation. He delivers the "SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE" papers, after the solution has been reached in court, along with the 72 hour "GET THE HELL OUTTA MY HOUSE" notification. THAT is how you deal with long term, on-purpose sexual unresponsiveness in spouses!!!.
Very true. However this doesn't mean that we should stop looking for ways in which we can influence or change things that are wrong in our life and that can be changed. Sometimes we may believe that something is out of our control, when actually standing up with the same strength, and in great numbers even more so, can make one heck of a difference.
It's true that you can't control much of anything other than how you react to things. But some things are unacceptable: Like an authoritarian takeover. Unfortunately, some things you MUST fight for, but pick your battles wisely.
I’ve also found people who absolve themselves of personal responsibility use this phrase to gloss over their actions. All well and fine, let’s just revert to being animals and make life completely intolerable. There’s a fine line between accepting that there are certain undesirable aspects of life that are inescapable and using that reality to create circumstances that are needlessly ruthless. There is always a choice in how you, as an evolved human being, respond to these realities.
My Thoughts 👁 Hurt people hurt one another. Healed people Healed one another 🙏 Meaning when you're hurt and broken you are numb to other people's feelings and emotions 💯 Healed people went through the hurt and pain 💔 so they can see the hurt and pain in other's. Imagine two parents not healed and very toxic. Innerstand what they can put on children with their toxic behavior. Most parents don't have a clue what their doing to their children.(More than likely cause that's the way they were raised). The cussing and yelling plus fighting. That weighs heavy on a child's subconscious of the Mind. The trauma that they watch their parents go through they are inheriting those traits of their own. Hurt people don't have self-love and self-worth. They don't value their selves, cause if they did, they wouldn't keep taking the same abuse. This means that if you are hurt and broken, how can you truly love ❤️ Especially have love for your children, when you do not love yourself. Healed people know that 😌 their emotions and feelings come first. Hurt people just want to stay numb to the reality of life that brought apond their self. Cause, they stay in that same loop and program's. Don't see that they need to change 💯 Hurt people could never truly love. Until they learn how to love themselves first. ( Self-love and self-care) Healed people don't really fucka with hurt people. Cause healed people love themselves to stay way from drama and bullshit. Be aware of who you are around ✨️ hurt people don't like seeing healed people 💯 misery loves company! 👁🙌🏾👌🏾❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚💫💫💫💫💫💫🌞💪🏾💯✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️😎
There might be an occasional time and place to use this phrase but those that use it often are likely copping-out of their personal responsibility and are thus living a false religion of fatalism.
💯 A good friend used to say, "Don't overthink it." I feel it's right up there with."It is what it is." 💯 He passed away a year ago today. RIP Big Dog 🐕
This may be true for some folks but in many cases it’s simply an admission of laziness and lack of initiative. They may really care but don’t have the mettle to act. My favorite response to this phrase is, No it’s not.
This has been my mindset for decades, learned it very early in life. Ive seen and been through some shit and every day is a gift and the biggest and most precious gifts are the small things most people overlook.
💯 Amen to this! We must persevere as stopping/quitting is not an option. I may have a moment/day to be upset, etc., but then, on come the big-girl pants and back at it. God’s blessing’s, love and light to you and ALL! 🙏😇🦋❤🎶😊. We/You Got This! 🙏☝️💪😊
‘It is what it is ‘I’ve seen people with no accountability do serious harm and walk away with this phrase as their mantra. They do not understand the law of karma.
@@noqueq9003 It's still true. People only say this phrase with reckless abandon towards someone they're working with, usually to buffer down the confrontation their actions are worthy of.
It’s not necessarily giving up. It’s acceptance of the fact that there are some things you just cannot change, it simply is not in your power. So, in some cases, it is what it is. Doesn’t mean you’re weak or giving up, it just means you’re smart enough to know when not to fight or try to change something you know you cannot change.
@@charlessansom4849precisely. It’s stoicism; accepting that many things are not under your control. To do otherwise is to set yourself up for many disappointments and victim mentality.
Kids get told, ‘you get what you get and you don’t get upset’. That’s another idiom for the purpose of controlling others. Well done on providing instruction for childcare centres. 0%
People who say "it is what it is" are survivors, either by nature or because of learning the hard life lessons, and are probably the most grounded in reality of anyone you might meet
Actually, it's a crutch because those people are repeating their programmatic stupidity and inability to properly express themselves. The phrase didn't exist until mid 00's. SMH
Acceptance isn't dangerous... It is what it is.
i know a drunk that uses this phrase all the time, except he doesnt follow it. gets real angry if you disagree with him on anything or god forbid
even use the phrase yourself 😂
I've only heard fat lazy guys say this. Usually,
The kind who get walked all over by their wives.
yeah so many people doesn't know true meaning the words 🤣👍only few can understanding the words
Acceptance is very dangerous to narcissists.
@@jacquejac1840 Spoken like a lazy turd.
When the ex wife decided to steal from the family, treat me abusively... and when she apologized to me after I divorced her.. She said, "I could have handled that better." I then said, "it is what it is.". Nothing else. I then moved on with my life without her.
It's like dealing with grief. You never get over it, you just learn to live with it.
I would say that in most cases people eventually get over grief and they mean what they say when they say it is what it is. They've truly accepted it and moved on.
@@Keith-e5fgrief isn’t like the flu, you ever get over it. I know this from losing a child.
@@Keith-e5f has that been your experience?
@@lindamorton2066Agreed. I'm not sure grief ever completely goes away.
From my personal experience, grief becomes more tolerable with the occasional flare up.
Realizing that you can not control every situation and accepting it is one of the greatest blessings I have ever been given.
Who actually decides what's supposed to be under your control and what not?
Classic example - Asking somebody on a date. They say no. Do you push the matter until you get what you want or is it what it is?
Sure you'll question yourself, you'll doubt the other person but eventually, once all the dust is settled, it is what it is.
With age comes better discernment on what moves and strategies you can make/take to sway whatever it is that's happening in your favour but at the end of the day, the dice will roll on whatever number it rolls on, and no amount of sulking can change that. It is what it is 🙏
@@duncankeary6767 turns out she was waiting for another move.
@@duncankeary6767 giving up control is the most illogical thing. Just say you don't have energy to pursue.
@@Kenobi-vu9mb ....you can't do this on internet. I just didn't have anything else to say💀. Shidz is so much in control, that's all I meant.
And btw, for girls, there is a possibility that she's a one of those for whom words are just a means to a bigger game. I considered that she denied that the first time. I considered another take, direct or indirect. Tagging me a predator is weird, suddenly. I'm not talking about sticking to one for life, bro.
Plus if you take right lessons, there are things that you will not do next time and THOSE will get you love. So if that is true, why wasn't this present case too always in your control? How can you declare that you want a relationship with somone and you have absolutely NO influence on her decisions? Sounds absurd now?
Control the things you can, forget about the things you can’t
Don't forget that which you can't control. Observe and understand them. Ignorance leads to people like Biden being allowed to be installed as one of the most powerful people in the world. FJB
if done correctly, you'll cease to exist
Yes and no. I remember things I couldn’t do anything about 40 50 years ago. Some of those things can be revisited massive corrections made. It is what it is. Sometimes a wolf wins sometimes you win.
I control all of mankind with the tip of my index finger punk
@gregkelmis........ great comment.
It’s acceptance. It brings you peace ❤
That's so true
Acceptance is one thing. Burrying your problems inside you like a pressure cooker until it all blows up is another. Be careful thinking you're really letting go when you're not, and some things you shouldn't let go. It's not so simple as people make it out. If you can't solve something turn over to God.
I've never been called dangerous before, but it is what it is. I'll take that.
It just means you dont lie to yourself and live in denial like most people.
Amen🎉
@@peters2860 Yes!
Na I think it's saying change what you can buy other people's behavior is out of your control.
***but
The ultimate humility. After that everything seemed to get a whole lot easier.
They say you get what you give. Never got what I gave got nothing when I gave my everything. Hard truth but one that opens your eyes to one of the realest lessons you will come to learn. You don’t always get what you give. Truth be told it is what it is. 💯
It is what they want to cause you.
Maybe not from the people you expect it from, but you'll certainly get back what you give and much more....
Never ever give up on yourself and not on your dreams
Amen
Awww, my sister….
Put your Efforts in God not others😇
He Thinks You Are Perfect and will Give you the Desires of your Heart💯
I disagree. I believe we get exactly what we give, and it's all governed by the laws of Karma. Action/reaction. The thing is...the rewards and punishments are scattered so we can't pick up the patterns, in order to preserve some sense of free choice. And make no mistake...Karma is exactly what it is.
I have used the phrase “It is what it is” for well over 20 years now. Sadly though, my wife hates it when I say it. But again, it is what it is!
Acceptance……..
It doesn’t mean you have to like something. But embracing this concept brings unbelievable peace of mind, and clarity of thought!
I also say: "Life goes on without me" It doesn't care about my feelings and I am not the center of the universe. Also Rolling Stones philosophy: "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need."
Yeagh this video is for pillow fingered fools, whom lack coping skills. If someone leaves you it's not your place to be upset with them for wanting for them. It may be rude, irresponsible, and disrespectfully disloyal, but... it's there right. And a detriment to you, but, sulking is a waste of water and time.
Pretty sure my stepfather beating me from the point I was 7 years old until I was 15 and having to run away from home to get away from it to live on the street and get molested as a child would prove that ideology wrong.
Oh that Rolling Stones song! Yeah that one and ‘Ruby Tuesday’ as well, great song, which I haven’t thought about in years. Another one: Jigsaw Puzzle/‘Just trying to do this jigsaw puzzle before it rains anymore’. It’s hard to get a lot of detachment in youth I think.
Ah song lyrics. My favorite. ..."And there's nobody that cares for me..."
We are Rolling Stones we roll on, touch someone and they touch someone else and so on and so on.
He's right on point. I've used that line for decades it's been the last thing I've said to many people.
Good to know, was wondering if you had or not.
What are you? A hit man?
"It is what it is." goes hand in hand with "You work with what you have."
Yep
And onward and upward.
And 'life goes on'.
Every silver lining has cloud
Every cloud has a silver lining… and lightning kills dozens of people each year looking for it. It is what it is.
A narcissist's worst nightmare.
It is what it is.
Oh, you got that right! They get so worked up when you don't care.
Not really lmao. A narcissist knows their worth and is rarely lonely,.
@@TheJKDub420😂😂
Then theres no need for a narc to run after
God grant me the Serenity to accept those things I cannot change, and the Courage to change the things I can, and grant me Wisdom to know the difference.💕🙏💕
This!! Tattooed on my forearm...helped me greatly over the last 6 years 😄👍🤘🇦🇺
Which god?
@@adods9824 💕💕
@@adods9824 What step are you on ?
@@jacobmcandles1745 That is where I learned this little gem of a prayer. It def helped keep me sober. Learned it in 1985. It is still effective in my life today.
100% I am one of those people, and thru my life it always been” it is what it is”
Sometimes, saying, “it is what it is.”, is the proper response in the manner of Napoleon’s famous phrase, “Don’t interrupt your enemies when they’re making a mistake.”
As an example, if you’re going to tell me how to do my job, and it goes south (because I’ve seen this over and over), it’s a waste of my precious life energy to prevent you from inflicting damage on yourself due to decisions made due to your ignorance.
No point in getting excited about things that don't change.
I don't stress over things beyond my control... because it is what is
It’s accepting that which you cannot control or change. That acceptance brings you inner peace.
That's rightly said. Bless you for this.
Yep, that’s my mantra. Many, many things in life I could only observe, had no control over how things played out. You have to come to accept: change what you have the power to change, the rest just is what it is. Learn and move on.
Well said. Everything that happens to you good or 'bad' happens because God either allowed it to happen, or directly orchestrated it FOR YOUR GOOD IF... you have the right response to it. There is a verse that says: "God causes all things (All Things in the Greek means All Things) to work together FOR GOOD to those that love God, and are called according to His purpose"
No , it is what it is, goes further then that. Change what you can, when you live the way of it is what it is, you have been going one way ling enough to know, don't change anything, hold the line, but change nothing! They change or it changes, but go with the flow of what is.
@@beentheredonethat5908 Um.. peoples IQ are dropping dramatically after reading what you wrote.. Do you think you can be a little more clear in your communication in terms of grammar so someone can understand your point? Or I guess it is... what it is.. however.. what is it?
@@beentheredonethat5908 I study Buddhism, and certainly the Buddha taught to accept what you find and flow with it, the path to serenity and inner peace is basically not to resist what is. And while I study Buddhism because I overall agree with the philosophy, there are some things I’m just not going to fall in line with. For instance, we have to detach from everything to avoid suffering. Sorry, Buddha, I have four kids, I’m attached, suffering is going to be a thing I do. Same thing about complete acceptance of what is: I grew up in a very abusive and toxic environment. Doing nothing would have meant my death. I had to change, if not the environment, at least my own mindset. Sure, I could have accepted without resistance what my father and sister did to me and just died. I guess I would have been “dangerous” all right, to MYSELF. So sure, you can follow your path of complete nonresistance, accepting everything, even your death, without a struggle. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.
This phrase makes no logical sense since it’s circular logic, that is, “ begging the question “. It’s also a sign of passiveness and avoidance. As someone said earlier it’s a cop out. You don’t want to change the situation and you’re not even going to try.
Accepting something for what it is , is the first step in correcting it IF it's a problem .
In my life I been saying “”It is what it is” with everything in life. It is what it is. 💯
Lol so we need to be afraid of you real bad.
I thought for a minute you were going to call me crazy or something but you nailed that shit!
Blessings to all 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏✝️
If you try to control things that you can not control, you will make yourself crazy. The point is not that you should never pursue your dreams or should give up on things that you want. The fact is that you will come across things that you cannot change and that is what it is. Trying to change the unchangeable is where the issues lay. Do what you can, be persistent but know when you are better off moving on without it. The need to control things that are ultimately out of your hands can put you in some bad situations. Appreciate what you have and the experiences that you lived through. Remember people are either a blessing or a lesson and as long as you learn the lesson and adjust accordingly it was not a totally negative thing.
People are either a blessing or a lesson…thank you for that
Master shi heng yi shares a similar sentiment when he talks about not trying to push bad things away and pull good things towards you. Good and bad will come and go. It is best to not run from or toward them but to embrace their existence. Aka it is what it is. Use it to grow. 💯 Definitely not a quote but if you haven't listened to master shi heng yi, its well worth it.
If I can do something to rectify a situation, then it's within my control, I'll take care of it.
If it's beyond my control, I don't dwell on it, "It is what it is". 💯 Percent.
GBPT 🇺🇸🙏
This is something used a lot by my people. No matter what happens. Children dying in an accident, natural disasters, wars. I sometimes think that this comes from a sort of resilience passed on from generation to generation for the last 2000 years, being here in the south-eastern Europe in the middle of wars and invasions.
Wow..never has anyone told me about myself so accurately...esp as I've aged from 37 to 54...nice thing is how freeing it all is😊
This phrase can be used in many context's. I have had a bad situation were this phrase was used. I'm a musician, and I had my close friend on keyboard in my band (I was closer to him than any of my band-mates & we are all good friends). We had a major big gig to do in a great venue, and everybody agreed to do it (no problem). The problem started when my keyboard player sprung it on me that he had to do some teaching at the church that same day (and he had to borrow the rhythm section of the band as well ). And then, I had a minor problem with transport for him to get to the gig which was supposed to be after his church music lessons. When I finally sorted out the transport problem (he was going to be picked up), he turned his phone off and told the rhythm section that the gig was called off, so they may as well stay in church and keep on playing. I had to do some kind of performance at the gig (which really sucked) because my name would have been black-listed otherwise. Anyway when I confronted my so-called friend the next day he just gave an uninterested smile and said "it is what it is", and I could clearly see that he could not give a f--k and he clearly didn't want to talk about it (let alone apologize). I saw that our (so called) friendship was not a friendship at all.
It is my VERY FAVOURITE phrase. And i HAVE accepted that i cannot control things and things are as they are. The best thing is to accept things that are not in my control.
It is what it is and always has been since time itself began . If you can understand that then you understand the ' Serenity Prayer ' .
" God , Grant me the Serenity to accept the things that I can NOT change . Grant me the Strength to change the things that I CAN Change . Grant me the Wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE ."
Serenity , Strength and Wisdom . The 3 keys to live life by .
❤
I had Terminal Cancer. 3 years of struggle surgeries, chemo.. at one point, I just accepted it, as it is, but not giving up. My roommate said he had never heard such a thing, in such a situation. I told him, it is what it is. We can change it, but accept, that it is, then move forward.
ps
I beat the cancer!
Finally!!!! You are so right! You are the first outlet that has discussed this, and this phrase has been bugging me for decades! Thank you!
This phrase was first used by Edward I know as Longshanks. He phrased it as, It is as it is. This wasn't said in the way it's said today, in fact it was a very serious comment. It was meant as, 'That's how it is, what the eff you gonna do about it'? He was the most powerful man in Europe at that time and he was a 'fuck around and find out type of person. He literally killed a man just by shouting at him. The phrase is actually a threat and I recoil when I hear a builder saying it to the client.
Client: I'm not happy with that finish.
Builder: is what it is.
Our clients were educated rich people in the wealthiest parts of London, they would've known this phrase and it's meaning
I was married to a narcissistic alcoholic who used this phrase often. It can also indicate a severe lack of caring for the needs or feelings of another person- you may not want to adopt this phrase as a typical response to others.
Hello dear 👋
It’s also what self-absorbed narcissists like to say. Context matters.
Actually narcissists think they manipulate anything to what they want… not “what it is”.
You're an island in a sea of ignorance.
You are exactly right.
I know someone like that and they say that alot....and they are EXACTLY like that!!!! He also is not capable of true love because he does not want to put any effort into a relationship and you have to accept him only on his terms! this is a dangerous man to love! And he won.t care if you walk away because " It is what it is!"
Hello dear 👋
That's a man that doesn't love anything but himself, or a man that doesn't mind being with a woman that he doesn't love because it gives him power, amusement and/or pleasure he can take or give away on a whim.
When a man loves, he's fixated.
Exactly. Thats all it can be.
This is the mindset of an eternal optimist
Antisthenes said that a man had no needs, and they called his philosophy Cynicism.
Eternal optimist or happy pessimist?
Eternal realist.
Avoidant personality disorder
Also the voice of apathy, passivity or nihilism.
I see the power in The phrase. But I often see people use the phrase as a way to sort of bypass the emotional side of things. For example, someone might share something crappy that happened to them and you might respond with "that really sucks" and then they might say "it is what it is'. True - it is what it is, but it also sucks and there's emotional side that has to be accepted that people don't want to face or aren't aware of
100% accurate. Throughout every life's challenges, i am still standing. With god by my side, i shall fear no one. Amen
Well written.
Very well said sir..
I need to make this my wake up alarm and my ring tone.
Amen!!🙏🏾 It is what it is!!!! I am not about to stress about shit that is out of my control!!! 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜😜😜😜😜
wise words and only those who have experienced something like this will understand!
Hello dear 👋
It has been a standard retort of mine for decades. My ex (a brilliant behavioral RN) told me long ago that control is an illusion. She was correct. You cannot control other people, ultimately, so simply let things go. IIWII.
Also the "I know were I stand" is very dangerous
Hello dear 👋
Also the " I know whom I am dealing with" can be used successfully when dealing with rude idiots.
This reminds me of what you don't know won't hurt you but what you actually don't know can actually kill you.
@cosmealcantar9396 100% spot on. Ask me how I know.
@@neilreid9005you're dead
Ignorance is bliss
I dont understand, im not native english speaker
God, grant me the strength, to accept the things I cannot change, the capacity to change the things I can, & and the wisdom, to know the difference❤
Spot on !
I really believe context is extremely necessary. That's a phrase that can be helpful for dealing with an unreasonable person. You're just agreeing to let them be as they cannot be reasoned with, without pointing that out to them directly as it is pointless.
Forgiving yourself is part of acceptance. Not always dangerous but sometimes needed.
Forgiveness is the most powerful tool we have. To forgive others and to forgive ourselves. We all need Forgiveness
❤I'll add my own 💯 percent belief in "It is what it is". Sure has been true in my life, though I get to decide what I do ON MY OWN! Period. Proof Positive.
Jst bcuz they say it doesn't mean they actually accept it. I had a chick i went back and forth with for years and one our first arguments she used that phrase. And then proceeded to stalk me when i accepted that she accepted we werent gonna work. Words can have power certainly. But u can NEVER b truly sure of someone's true feelings behind those words. Human beings are complex and many of us wear well crafted mask.
It is what it is... Please care about the people that actually care about you. 💖
Sure, but there is no way to truly know who or if.
❤
I have an autistic son. His autismn won’t go away. It’s gets more complicated as he gets older. But there is fuck all no one can do to fix it amd his mum and I are here to deal with it. It is what it is🤷♂️
I personally HATE THAT PHRASE !!! To me , that's saying your willing to put up with things the way they are . That your thoughts don't matter and your afraid to speak your own mind !!! Its just a bail out phrase like not saying yes or no !!
I actually use that phrase often.
💯
💯 So true, you nailed it!
Another one of my favorites (in addition to this one of course) is “you are what your record says you are.” This is my way of not living in the past, pretending that I am still what I once was. It’s also my way of not living in the future, pretending that the next time will be different. It’s my way of accepting what I am right now, with the knowledge that if I want a different outcome (a better record), I need to get better, do better, and be better.
Haha! I said “it is what it is” just an hour ago 🤣. I looked the devil in the eye and survived to get to this point. I am also generous and caring.
When you give and give some more, then they steal the rest! NO WAY!!! Peace Out! She GONE!!!
Yeah, these final times, we "uncomfortably" have to face the devil, and it's disgusting enough, for sure.
but:
It's STINKY SMELL doesn't reach my Heart anymore...😁
@@ManfredFechter-kc7iy amen to that!
Me too give help but never expect anything in return or you most probably be hugely disappointed it is what it is 👌👌👌🤝🤝
I agree with you . I tune out when I hear a phrase like this.
Good for you 😊
Thats ONE way to look at it . I always figured they should finish the saying , "It is what it is ..... because no one has put the effort into changing it . "
My brother died when I was 11. No amount of "effort" can change that, It is what it is.
@@chrisb7198 True but with effort you can change how you react/accept/process the event .
@@I_am_Diogenes It is what it is. period, end of sentence. No further effort is needed or can help.
@@chrisb7198 That is where the whole lie is . I guess you are right , it is more accurate to say we have lied to ourselves to believe this because we are too lazy to apply the effort that change either an event or the way we look at the event . Always easier to be a victim .
@@I_am_Diogenes WTF are you going on about? Are you saying I'm lazy because my brother died and I know no amount of "effort" can change that? It was over 50 years ago and my life went on but my brother is still dead. It is what it is. Stop your bull sh*t.
100 for sure. I used this exact phrase when messaging my in laws. They live up north and had to be told by me that my Wife was under Hospice Care and they all choked in saying how sorry they were for their sister AND me. I first responded with this exact phrase but didn't realize why until Sir Anthony explained the definition. That pretty much is how I felt at the moment. Enlightened.
I have heard this before and cest la vie. Cest comme ca. Do not be overcome with evil however, overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21 page 1162
Boy you didn't spell a single bit of that french right, nor did you use the right words together. Stick to your book of made up stories aka that bible you referenced. BC you suck at french 😅😅
“Acceptance” often is just recognizing you can only change yourself. Acceptance isn’t being a doormat. It’s recognizing what constitutes a waste of energy. I was raised by wolves and I approve this message.
My favorite phrase. Truthful,powerful.
"It is what it is" is the sound made when your " Give A Fucker" is irreparably broken. Been there, done that X 5
lol well said,
@@majorwedgie8166 ABSOLUTELY!! It is also what is commonly stated when one actually comes to the REALIZATION, that one is just a COG IN YOUR WIFE'S MACHINE, and that SHE DOESN'T GIVE A FAT RAT'S ASS ABOUT YOU, OR YOUR NEEDS. FORTUNATELY...I have a JEWISH, THROATCUTTING ATTORNEY on RETAINER for just this kind of situation. He delivers the "SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE" papers, after the solution has been reached in court, along with the 72 hour "GET THE HELL OUTTA MY HOUSE" notification. THAT is how you deal with long term, on-purpose sexual unresponsiveness in spouses!!!.
Very true. However this doesn't mean that we should stop looking for ways in which we can influence or change things that are wrong in our life and that can be changed. Sometimes we may believe that something is out of our control, when actually standing up with the same strength, and in great numbers even more so, can make one heck of a difference.
That phrase Annoys the ever loving Hell out of me. I never say it. I say "then so be it"
It's true that you can't control much of anything other than how you react to things. But some things are unacceptable: Like an authoritarian takeover. Unfortunately, some things you MUST fight for, but pick your battles wisely.
I’ve also found people who absolve themselves of personal responsibility use this phrase to gloss over their actions. All well and fine, let’s just revert to being animals and make life completely intolerable. There’s a fine line between accepting that there are certain undesirable aspects of life that are inescapable and using that reality to create circumstances that are needlessly ruthless. There is always a choice in how you, as an evolved human being, respond to these realities.
B.S., it just means they can do anything to you and get away with it, not the other way around, like the syndicate always does
I've heard people say this out of pure ignorance or stupidity.
It is what it is.
It is what it is......
I think that can be true but either way that person is at peace. They don't care.
It shouldn't bother you, but it seems it does.
@@meatpopsicle1567 what makes it a bother in a critical decision or what I think is important. This is just an aircraft mech’s point of view.
My Thoughts 👁
Hurt people hurt one another. Healed people Healed one another 🙏 Meaning when you're hurt and broken you are numb to other people's feelings and emotions 💯 Healed people went through the hurt and pain 💔 so they can see the hurt and pain in other's. Imagine two parents not healed and very toxic. Innerstand what they can put on children with their toxic behavior. Most parents don't have a clue what their doing to their children.(More than likely cause that's the way they were raised). The cussing and yelling plus fighting. That weighs heavy on a child's subconscious of the Mind. The trauma that they watch their parents go through they are inheriting those traits of their own. Hurt people don't have self-love and self-worth. They don't value their selves, cause if they did, they wouldn't keep taking the same abuse. This means that if you are hurt and broken, how can you truly love ❤️ Especially have love for your children, when you do not love yourself. Healed people know that 😌 their emotions and feelings come first. Hurt people just want to stay numb to the reality of life that brought apond their self. Cause, they stay in that same loop and program's. Don't see that they need to change 💯 Hurt people could never truly love. Until they learn how to love themselves first. ( Self-love and self-care) Healed people don't really fucka with hurt people. Cause healed people love themselves to stay way from drama and bullshit. Be aware of who you are around ✨️ hurt people don't like seeing healed people 💯 misery loves company! 👁🙌🏾👌🏾❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚💫💫💫💫💫💫🌞💪🏾💯✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️😎
😂🎉🎉🎉🎉💯👍😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That is it..... exactly...
That is probably the best video on TH-cam! It's so easy!
Glad you think so!
There might be an occasional time and place to use this phrase but those that use it often are likely copping-out of their personal responsibility and are thus living a false religion of fatalism.
💯 🙏 Amen x
💯 A good friend used to say, "Don't overthink it." I feel it's right up there with."It is what it is." 💯 He passed away a year ago today. RIP Big Dog 🐕
When somebody says to me "It is what it is" I say and it isn't what it isn't.
Playing with the concept of tautology and negation.
Those animals are so beautiful.
This may be true for some folks but in many cases it’s simply an admission of laziness and lack of initiative. They may really care but don’t have the mettle to act. My favorite response to this phrase is, No it’s not.
I concur, it ain't what it ain't.
My favorite quote and it's true. Can't break who is broken already
It's me. I have Autism. It is what it is.
I've said this many, many times at work. I'm working on saying it more about my "real" life.
A quitter never wins
Not true. When playing a rigged game, the quitter is the ONLY one who wins.
The power of walking away,
is a super power.
Bingo. Refusing to play. Is winning.
Quit smoking betting gambling and cheating 👍👍👍🤩
Spoken so well! People look at you strange when you have this philosophy. People think I’m heartless, not knowing I’m dying inside.
I know several people who use this phrase frequently. THey are arrogant and confident, while exhibiting a room-temperature IQ.
This has been my mindset for decades, learned it very early in life. Ive seen and been through some shit and every day is a gift and the biggest and most precious gifts are the small things most people overlook.
💯 Amen to this! We must persevere as stopping/quitting is not an option. I may have a moment/day to be upset, etc., but then, on come the big-girl pants and back at it. God’s blessing’s, love and light to you and ALL! 🙏😇🦋❤🎶😊. We/You Got This! 🙏☝️💪😊
Hello dear 👋
Accepting WHAT IS that cannot be changed is wisdom. Accepting what could have changed if you cared, but didn't is different.
‘It is what it is ‘I’ve seen people with no accountability do serious harm and walk away with this phrase as their mantra. They do not understand the law of karma.
That's not what the video refers to
@@noqueq9003 k
@@noqueq9003 It's still true. People only say this phrase with reckless abandon towards someone they're working with, usually to buffer down the confrontation their actions are worthy of.
It is what it is. And it could never have been anything else. Once you truly grasp this, you are home. ❤
Strange. I always took "It is what it is." as a synonym for "ah whatever, I give up."
It’s not necessarily giving up. It’s acceptance of the fact that there are some things you just cannot change, it simply is not in your power. So, in some cases, it is what it is. Doesn’t mean you’re weak or giving up, it just means you’re smart enough to know when not to fight or try to change something you know you cannot change.
@@charlessansom4849precisely. It’s stoicism; accepting that many things are not under your control.
To do otherwise is to set yourself up for many disappointments and victim mentality.
Existence is what it is and its happening in each moment. So its not just acceptance, it is what it is and always will be. Everything is what it is.
@@ayaheal9350 👍
Kids get told, ‘you get what you get and you don’t get upset’. That’s another idiom for the purpose of controlling others. Well done on providing instruction for childcare centres. 0%
"Don't sweat the small stuff"...be thankful for seeing the sun rise each day....even though life challenges 🙏
This is gaslighting 101. The truth is this is standing for nothing fall for everything
I can remember when somebody said this about people dying from covid😢
Sometimes it's a bad idea to accept the unacceptable.
How? Sometimes the unacceptable is inevitable
Like if a hot girl give you "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" on DVD but you know if you don't accept it things will go nowhere with said girl
That’s always a bad idea.
People who say "it is what it is" are survivors, either by nature or because of learning the hard life lessons, and are probably the most grounded in reality of anyone you might meet
Actually, it's a crutch because those people are repeating their programmatic stupidity and inability to properly express themselves. The phrase didn't exist until mid 00's. SMH
I agree. It's just a way to have the last word when you have nothing intelligent to contribute to a conversation.
It's a lot older than that.