💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
I agree! It has been the slow trickle of information that I could start to absorb in the last 4 years I've been in recovery. Every lesson gets me a smidge closer to understanding. It is like trying to bring a microscope into focus, slowly dialing in. 4 years I've been working towards recovery while single parenting teens through middle and high school and managing my own life, my healing journey, and jeez just trying to hold a single boundary is complicated and energy consuming - your content helps me see a little clearer every time. The bullet points really help me to absorb the material, hearing, seeing, and writing it helps get it to stick in there better
A new friend recommended this channel for me. We both suffer from CPTSD. INSTANT FOLLOWER !!!!!! I’ve only watched a few videos so far but OMG I cannot believe how much I’ve learned already !!!!!!!
I'm a college instructor. On top of that, I had a traumatic childhood. Now at 60, I have fibromyalgia and suffer from chronic fatigue and chronic pain. I rest, started doing art as I didn't have any interests outside of work, and do mindfulness activities such as nature walks and meditation. Everything is connected. Mind, body, soul.
What has helped me personally is accepting the phase as a natural response to the amount of energy I've expended. Allowing myself to rest as long as my brain and body need. I can't speed up the process and feeling guilty for not getting much done sets me back. I've learned to be very kind, patient, and understanding toward myself during this time. Awareness is key.
Have you ever done group work? I only can cry in mens group meetings, seriously, find a good group, a group that works for me is Alanon and AA related because of my family member issues. Crying is truly important I hope this helps, take care!
Tim, The videos and react series have become a rock for me in my self recovery. I also share your videos with my own therapist group, and even my ex wife and children. Healing from abuses and a broken and misdirected childhood is a life time of work. I was also hit by a truck two years ago and I’m now cooped up, and lost my home and mobility . And I have chronic pain. But, the world does not care about any of that! So it’s either get healed and learn to make a new income, or exit stage left . Because the physical pain and losses are real and I had better figure out how to get over it and learn new skills to take care of myself better.
In a similar situation. CPTSD was too much for my wife who asked me to leave. Lost my home, family, extended family and job due to a leg injury. Now living in a room in a strange city as it's all I could afford. Your positivity and chutzpah are inspiring. Keep on keeping on. I won't tell you it will get better because people tell me that all the time and it sounds hollow, but I will tell you it will get better if you make it get better. You deserve your place in this world my friend. You have intrinsic value regardless but you also sound like a great person so keep holding your head up high and kick life up the butt!
I always said that nothing depletes me like doing nothing, being physically inactive. Then I don’t drink enough, I get dehydrated, constipated and get pains and aches everywhere. Then I don’t take care of myself and/or my apartment and I procrastinate on everything and eat too much/not enough, and then I pretend to not be home, avoiding contact with people. Sooner or later I tidy up, clean, eat and drink and feel better until I get depleted again. I would love to heal and get out of this pattern.
Hey Ragga......please keep a bottle of water on your bedside and in your bag. Fresh water helps all your organs to keep functioning and protects your health.❤ i learned the hard way of dehydration and it was a bad time. Surround yourself with nice ornaments, your warm blanket and a nice hot drink (tea😊) during the day. Love yourself!❤
Thanks for speaking out on this , I am experencing All of these 2 years ago I really hit a brick wall so to speak , I have no desire to socialize I’m done with all the toxic crazy people in the world , it is slowly getting better still not sleeping well I think routines matter a lot so I try to keep the same nighttime and morning routines that seems to help . I’m a believer so for me I make Gods word part of my morning routing and I have felt more peace this holiday season 😊
The timing of having a breakdown with my mate, showering until the hot water ran out, forgetting my final stage of my shower (just a lather of a hydrating body bar) and sitting down to find the "answer" I popped a piece of gum in and clicked on this video and immediately started crying, stopped chewing and took it out because I needed to sit in the emotions and not stim them away. I cried and cried and cried just sobbed as every.single. word you said fit me until I started laughing and trying to gather myself with my tissue as if you were in the same room as me, because I felt so (respectfully) called out in real time. I've been feeling like Im taking 2 steps back when I'm trying my hardest to take the next good step in my healing. Thank you, dearly for your videos, time, and sharing your experience and knowledge.
I'm eternally grateful for the information Tim supplies to those of us who grew up feeling guilty however innocent. The most practical answers are so hard to find, and he is providing what is needed to take the self blame off ourselves long enough to become healthier and continue healing. We can't find this on our own without a resource like him to point the way. He has lived it.
I used to feel this way most of my life and will sometimes revisit that thinking , don't give up ! There is a bigger purpose that will start coming together and will make sense the more we heal . You just may end up being thankful you persevered.
I was an internet 'keyboard' warrior about animal rights and such. When iy came to a specific fight, my dear late husband realised I was 'burning myself out' and he kindly told me to stop it. I did and will be forever grateful to him for that. 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖
'Passion fatigue'. My late husband was a mediator and when beloved family members had problems in there marriage and they came to him for help....... disaster, not for them, but for my husband. In the end he had to go to a psychologist for his nervous system acted up. I do hold ressentment about that for the family members he helped will never acknowledge the damage they did to my husband. They were depressed, negative, moaping and not listening and my husband was an opposite person: always happy, always placid, always using his mind instead of emotions. It cost him his health. 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖
@PeriwinklePotter maybe reframe this by acknowledging those families were in a lot of pain and your husband took that away. That's pretty powerful. He's like the big guy in the Green Mile. I'm sure if those families knew they would be really thankful for his selflessness and sacrifice. I know if he had done that for me and my family I would be.
Wow, the timing of me seeing this video is perfect, I was with a narcissist for 4 years, and when we stopped seeing each other, i found the love of my life, but because i was trauma bonded, i ended up ruining things but i realized my mistakes, and did all i could to make sure i got her back and i did
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
@@Mermare believe me I try. I hardly EVER eat sugar have not gotten into the chocolates this year but egg nog ice cream! Every day sometimes twice a day. I know damn well to stay away from sugar……. But these complex problems have told me to “Just eat what you want to” bad news.
Exactly, right?! Ask God to give it profoundly (as small/minute time-wise as it may be), trusting Him to help you in every step of the recovery. Ask Him to help you to recognize the time when He gives it, b/c it may come when you least expect it.
In those moments, you've to take it minute by minute. Set boundaries, say no to a few things and take time for yourself. Whatever recharges your batteries and is healing. Might be connecting with a safe person, listening to uplifting music, watching a good movie, enjoying food, drinking something warm etc.
Stop with all this God crap. There is no man on a throne granting favors and punishing. So God damn stupid. Learn physics, we are one consciousness divided up, and disassociated from itself, so it may experience. @eckoellenstein4306
As I have read in the other replies it’s important to look around the messes and stresses for the small gifts that could be easy to miss by focusing on what’s wrong and what we do not have. Focusing on what we do have and what is working right or when an act of kindness appears helps to dilute the focus on what’s wrong. I try to look “peripherally” meaning what are the good things that played out? Pretty soon that starts to bring a more balanced perspective. I heard this quote; “Sometimes Jesus calms the storm. Other times he calms the sailor.”
I am exhausted all of the time, for years and It's increased with worse arthritis pain. I just had a ck up, and everything looked fine, but I don't feel fine. This video came up, and so many of these pertain to me. My exhaustion is starting to make sense. Now, the work that feels exhausting since I have so many of these. Thank you!
Got to self care and tuned out. Self care requires... A place in the world to live Shelter, water, food, currency, people to trade with, friends, family etc etc etc.
all of these self help types will spend ALL of their time telling you whats wrong with you and almost no time on what to do to fix it, they maximize TH-cam ad revenue by NOT solving your problem so you keep coming back and watching their new videos. It's sick
@@juliehudson9476 he has a lot of tips on his complex trauma lecture series - if you want further advice look up Dr K. Essentially it will be about emotional processing, trying meditation, journalling, understanding what happens in your internal world and why you do the things you do, whilst being self loving and allowing repressed emotions to resurface and the grieve the pain, allowing anger to be felt, sadness etc
@@reverse_meta9264 agree. I think I know enough about what’s wrong now and might need to disengage with this type of content and focus on what’s right, being in gratitude feels best.
I've been in recovery for 31 years and over the last several years have been caring for my Dad through his cancer journey while working full time. I'm exhausted and am trying to pace myself but it's hard to do based on what's occurring. I listen to meditation videos and your talks frequently. Self care has become a challenge.
Michelle........please find a care coördinator.........the team treating your father should know this. We had one in The Netherlands when we were going yhrough a cancer experience. Please find someone you can talk to, it's vital to reset your mechanics to be able to handle this. Best of luck.
I FEEL EVERYTHING!!!! Not switched off at all Totally conscious Never done drugs or alcohol Hardly sleep I’m a human DOING not a human BEING I don’t rest I’m constantly trying to BE better DO better CARE more for other people (partner, adult children etc ) My child is screaming to be noticed, heard & seen But she’s forgotten, ignored and abandoned I need REST in my brain & body
I definitely am with you there, except I don’t have children I have Corgis. I have the same issues because of emotional depletion and fibromyalgia, panick attacks, adhd, ocd. Bless you 🦋
Thank you very good video. I can say I have been in most of those situations! I have been feeling bone weary, soul weary if you like, and trying to drag myself out of it, but it's very difficult. I went through loss from an early age as a kid, had a tumultuous life, I won't go into details but trust me I was a giver, and I am guessing it's shame based from early childhood. I'm an empathic female, was a psych nurse for 30 yrs, and now at 70 I've been isolated from my family who are toxic. This made me very sad, but now I see God has removed all the things from my life that were draining me. I didn't even realize they were so toxic! I divorced, I had 3 friends die one after another, my so called family abandoned me. I'm retired too, so I have no one, and have been trying to de-clutter my home which got the best of me during this time. Was always neat before, drives me crazy, but I can only do so much a day. I'm doing the shadow work, also depleting, but letting go of these themes of lack in my life is worth it. I know I'll get there, but some days I wonder if I'll live long enough to see some victory! I have started writing out my fears and resentments, then destroying the paper after asking God to remove them from my heart. Got this from another YT channel. It is helping, I'm supposed to meditate after but I don't always follow through! It helps to get it out of my head, and stops me ruminating on them. I walk in nature when I can (Canada so cold winter now but I still do it when not icy), and do something productive each day. I never thought I'd end up at my age alone like this. People take, and take, and don't seem to know how to give back. I have just instituted boundaries, which I didn't enforce before. I value myself, and though alone, I know my angels are with me because they show me all the time. I watch for signs and synchronicities and see them often. God bless all who are going through it. Better days are ahead. I am on a new path now. This time it's for me, finding out what I want, who I am, what makes ME happy. I'm going to look at your other videos, I guess you must have one about the solutions to this? Again many thanks. ♥
This is an amazing overview of all the things i can aim to turn around for 2025 and create a supportive self-care system so I can properly heal, thank you Tim x
Nothing you said exhausted me I just feel like I'm between despair and hopeless in my life. Whenever I want or find hope to get out of it, I get let down. No one helps. You're the only one who cooperates and for free 😢
@@مارسيلجوبن you are not alone…. I promise you that! Many people can mask this if it has not gotten to what sounds like “our level”….. I wish I could just turn my brain off. God or the Powers that be should have given us an overload button to turn our fu€king brains OFF! I promise you are not alone. ⭕️🦋😱
Wow, I needed to hear this…as I sit here so depleted, anemic and unable get going. I was in a very narc abusive relationship for 19 years, and now as a single mom and an early elementary teacher, I have nothing left at the end of the day…I get so depressed if I’m not productive.
I've been sleeping for days. I couldn't make myself even wake up, much less get up. I'm still trying to get over my relationship with my toxic ex (I've been living with trauma my whole life, so why is this one so hard?), my daughters and grandchildren never being around, financially bankrupt and stranded caused by ex causing me to lose my car, physical disability, depression. And I'm a caretaker of my disabled adult son. I needed this right now. Thank you.
This needs to be spoken about more. I am just beginning to re associate since early childhood abuse. I have noticed that just the re associate part is extremely painful and exhausting. So, I am not even at neutral yet. Speaking about filling my gas tank seems so far in the future 😢
I wish i could apply all this to fibromyalgia! I went in for an emergency operation due to finding a 1.5 litre abscess in my womb & came out with full blown fibro! That was over 15 years ago. I also moved house to downsize property 2.5 years ago to avoid paying higher bedroom tax, & I still have 20 boxes to plough through. I could go on but wont bore you. I have a lot to be thankful for so I dont complain always. I just wish this fibro would do one!
Thank you, I'm here, I listen, try and I'm struggling from lack of help lack of sleep. ✍️🧠🤗🕊️👍 Emojis mean good writing about psychology and peace to you and thumbs up. Merry Christmas and happy New Year everyone
I went Into shut down. After caring for my mothers end of life care,my best friend was diagnosed with brain cancer 6 months later, I lost my job of 17 years and my retirement. Worked overtime during COVID and caring for my friend and then I quit my job. I cared full time for my friend, cooking and assisting as he lost physical function. I got a good job I really wanted. But I quit after 4 days because, I ran late getting to my friend. Who fell and was not able to get up off the floor. Luckily, his neighbor heard him yelling for help. I was late by 30 minutes. He died 10 weeks later. Glioblastoma. He was 53. I developed vertigo out of know where about 6 weeks after his death. Luckily I had a bit of money. I slept on and on and on and on. It's been 2 1/2 years and I am still working this out.
I'm concerned because I have every single thing that you've mentioned. I'm like a walking trauma who's trying to heal and it's overwhelming. If I didn't have God I don't know what I would do.
For me inside I don't know where not to frawn with my feelings. And my loving wife gets the fighting for the fight is not at the right address. Also I have been in survival mode and I look much younger. Know it is hard to get anything done without the frustration. And taking the time for whatever I might think the hobby or walk or video gives me I have to take a stand and I can't make even that little stand. It actually feels like a virus for many weeks now. We are doing that for both of us for most of what you mentioned is active for me or her.
❤ Feeling Depleted - a dangerous time for those in recovery - therapy is depleting ❤ Years of dissociation from life and self, operating on auto-pilot unconscious is registering your anxiety and depression and it puts us into fight, flight, freeze shut down mode which is depleting We need self-awareness about when we are depleted and what depletes us Depletion is caused by imbalance of sympathetic and parasympathetic (rest) nervous system - we have a default setting of over-activity survival mode (sympathetic system) ❤ We get depleted physically from: multi tasking live in cluttered spaces Being cooped up alone Dehydration Living with chronic pain Fighting infection or illness ❤ Changes in life ❤ Emotional causes: CPTSD people are exhausted because of stuffing emotions (fear, anger) Feeling an intense emotion (hate, fear) cortisol takes a lot of energy Processing old trauma Carrying resentment, conflict Sitting in an emotion (grief, anxiety) Supporting someone in a state of pain - compassion fatigue Triggered (feel rejected, disrespected) Constantly negative default setting (complaining and criticizing) flooding brain with bad chemicals and no good chemicals Involved in a cause it will stir up emotions (social media stirs up emotions) Perfectionist or control-freak CPTSD people also have a default setting of toxic shame, fear, guilt, anger, negativity, stuffing emotions, being distracted to avoid inner states, seeking validation, always worried, always angry = depleting ❤ 95% we are subconscious - the other 5% takes a third of our calories / energy (processing and thinking) Teaching makes you tired Obsessing over a mental focus Relationship conflicts or someone's problems and you're pretending it's not affecting you Trying to wear masks to impress others Lying and people fawning Being attuned to other people's negative feelings Prejudiced - you get triggered by your own racism ❤ No relationships, no healthy relationship or attachment we get depleted ❤ Social settings - you are the host / leader ❤ Grief ❤ Constant conflict with a child causing problems ❤ Introvert in a social setting have to do small talk
I've been layering these in my life like a mountain high lasagna, I just dont know how to fix it. Seems like whatever I do just adds another layer, I'm exhausted and I'm agitated; like there's energy that's trapped and I cant direct it.
Good 1:50 Lord this is happening right now I noticed it got bad when I ate multiple slices of pizza from my job when I normally resist it. Also felt disconnected and fragmented and dissociated a lot
I really have to finally break up with my partner as he will not take care of me now i have fibromyalgie and depression, i was happy with him for twentytwo years but i have to go on, it breaks me. Thanks Tim
👉My Emotional Depletion can lead to SI or BFRB & even Disassociation. When I can be self aware, using HALT self inventory helps! (Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?)
💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Suzanne ann walters, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Superb generous content. The best CPTSD recovery channel I have found.
I agree. I often share this channel for others in need.
I love this channel. It has been a great help in my cptsd
Couldn’t agree more. I gotten much better since I started to watch and work on myself.
I agree! It has been the slow trickle of information that I could start to absorb in the last 4 years I've been in recovery. Every lesson gets me a smidge closer to understanding. It is like trying to bring a microscope into focus, slowly dialing in. 4 years I've been working towards recovery while single parenting teens through middle and high school and managing my own life, my healing journey, and jeez just trying to hold a single boundary is complicated and energy consuming - your content helps me see a little clearer every time. The bullet points really help me to absorb the material, hearing, seeing, and writing it helps get it to stick in there better
A new friend recommended this channel for me. We both suffer from CPTSD. INSTANT FOLLOWER !!!!!! I’ve only watched a few videos so far but OMG I cannot believe how much I’ve learned already !!!!!!!
Watching this from bed already exhausted before the day has even started.
@@llpolluxll This is exactly me.
Watching from the sofa I have been laying on the last six hours.
The role I played to stay positive with complex ptsd took a massive toll on me. Take good care of yourself bc no one else will. God protect you. ❤
@@llpolluxll sending you hugs and positive energy 🌟
Cookies. 🍪
I'm a college instructor. On top of that, I had a traumatic childhood. Now at 60, I have fibromyalgia and suffer from chronic fatigue and chronic pain. I rest, started doing art as I didn't have any interests outside of work, and do mindfulness activities such as nature walks and meditation. Everything is connected. Mind, body, soul.
What has helped me personally is accepting the phase as a natural response to the amount of energy I've expended. Allowing myself to rest as long as my brain and body need. I can't speed up the process and feeling guilty for not getting much done sets me back. I've learned to be very kind, patient, and understanding toward myself during this time. Awareness is key.
I would like that too, but i still feel guilty
I never feel joy and i am not able to cry.
Oh 😢 if you texted it, you already know, that Can be
Have you ever done group work? I only can cry in mens group meetings, seriously, find a good group, a group that works for me is Alanon and AA related because of my family member issues. Crying is truly important I hope this helps, take care!
Same. But not feeling joy has just been relatively recent.
I used to be like this but now it’s easier. Took a lot of work tho
Or constellation Work in General🤍😘
Tim, The videos and react series have become a rock for me in my self recovery. I also share your videos with my own therapist group, and even my ex wife and children. Healing from abuses and a broken and misdirected childhood is a life time of work. I was also hit by a truck two years ago and I’m now cooped up, and lost my home and mobility . And I have chronic pain. But, the world does not care about any of that! So it’s either get healed and learn to make a new income, or exit stage left . Because the physical pain and losses are real and I had better figure out how to get over it and learn new skills to take care of myself better.
You are so brave. You Will find your New start and things Will work out for you. Be brave and love yourself.❤
In a similar situation. CPTSD was too much for my wife who asked me to leave. Lost my home, family, extended family and job due to a leg injury. Now living in a room in a strange city as it's all I could afford. Your positivity and chutzpah are inspiring. Keep on keeping on. I won't tell you it will get better because people tell me that all the time and it sounds hollow, but I will tell you it will get better if you make it get better. You deserve your place in this world my friend. You have intrinsic value regardless but you also sound like a great person so keep holding your head up high and kick life up the butt!
Here for same reason. Trying to slow the dip I often feel around this time. Strength and courage to all
Sending you same back ❤
Feeling depressed after the Christmas party. This helps me understand why. Thank you
I always said that nothing depletes me like doing nothing, being physically inactive. Then I don’t drink enough, I get dehydrated, constipated and get pains and aches everywhere. Then I don’t take care of myself and/or my apartment and I procrastinate on everything and eat too much/not enough, and then I pretend to not be home, avoiding contact with people. Sooner or later I tidy up, clean, eat and drink and feel better until I get depleted again. I would love to heal and get out of this pattern.
I’m in a very similar pattern
Hey Ragga......please keep a bottle of water on your bedside and in your bag. Fresh water helps all your organs to keep functioning and protects your health.❤ i learned the hard way of dehydration and it was a bad time. Surround yourself with nice ornaments, your warm blanket and a nice hot drink (tea😊) during the day. Love yourself!❤
Thanks!
This one resonates with me - just shy of 70 years old. I will delve into this subject and learn how to resurrect myself. Thank you.
I need another lifetime of good experiences....🎉
Thanks for speaking out on this , I am experencing
All of these 2 years ago I really hit a brick wall so to speak , I have no desire to socialize I’m done with all the toxic crazy people in the world , it is slowly getting better still not sleeping well
I think routines matter a lot so I try to keep the same nighttime and morning routines that seems to help .
I’m a believer so for me I make Gods word part of my morning routing and I have felt more peace this holiday season 😊
The timing of having a breakdown with my mate, showering until the hot water ran out, forgetting my final stage of my shower (just a lather of a hydrating body bar) and sitting down to find the "answer" I popped a piece of gum in and clicked on this video and immediately started crying, stopped chewing and took it out because I needed to sit in the emotions and not stim them away.
I cried and cried and cried just sobbed as every.single. word you said fit me until I started laughing and trying to gather myself with my tissue as if you were in the same room as me, because I felt so (respectfully) called out in real time.
I've been feeling like Im taking 2 steps back when I'm trying my hardest to take the next good step in my healing.
Thank you, dearly for your videos, time, and sharing your experience and knowledge.
I'm eternally grateful for the information Tim supplies to those of us who grew up feeling guilty however innocent. The most practical answers are so hard to find, and he is providing what is needed to take the self blame off ourselves long enough to become healthier and continue healing. We can't find this on our own without a resource like him to point the way. He has lived it.
Yeah. I get it. I’m at the point where I don’t even know why I’m alive anymore. I’m just so done.
I used to feel this way most of my life and will sometimes revisit that thinking , don't give up ! There is a bigger purpose that will start coming together and will make sense the more we heal . You just may end up being thankful you persevered.
I was an internet 'keyboard' warrior about animal rights and such. When iy came to a specific fight, my dear late husband realised I was 'burning myself out' and he kindly told me to stop it. I did and will be forever grateful to him for that. 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖
It's so hard not to become a keyboard warrior just had to really remove a lot of friends and groups
'Passion fatigue'. My late husband was a mediator and when beloved family members had problems in there marriage and they came to him for help....... disaster, not for them, but for my husband. In the end he had to go to a psychologist for his nervous system acted up. I do hold ressentment about that for the family members he helped will never acknowledge the damage they did to my husband. They were depressed, negative, moaping and not listening and my husband was an opposite person: always happy, always placid, always using his mind instead of emotions. It cost him his health. 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖
@PeriwinklePotter maybe reframe this by acknowledging those families were in a lot of pain and your husband took that away. That's pretty powerful. He's like the big guy in the Green Mile. I'm sure if those families knew they would be really thankful for his selflessness and sacrifice. I know if he had done that for me and my family I would be.
Wow, the timing of me seeing this video is perfect, I was with a narcissist for 4 years, and when we stopped seeing each other, i found the love of my life, but because i was trauma bonded, i ended up ruining things but i realized my mistakes, and did all i could to make sure i got her back and i did
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Self care, especially around a holiday, is so important. Listen to your body and your soul.
@@Mermare believe me I try. I hardly EVER eat sugar have not gotten into the chocolates this year but egg nog ice cream! Every day sometimes twice a day. I know damn well to stay away from sugar……. But these complex problems have told me to
“Just eat what you want to” bad news.
I always wake up exhausted....😢
Me the same CVS
My 2 cents, get tested for sleep condition if you arent getting restorative sleep
Me too…I’m so depleted and can barely move, which I can’t do that…
My default setting is every one that you described. Awareness helps. Thank you, your descriptions are clear and non shaming.
How do you make time for recovery when you are chronically ill, in poverty, and life just keeps throwing more intense emotional crap at you?
Exactly, right?! Ask God to give it profoundly (as small/minute time-wise as it may be), trusting Him to help you in every step of the recovery. Ask Him to help you to recognize the time when He gives it, b/c it may come when you least expect it.
In those moments, you've to take it minute by minute. Set boundaries, say no to a few things and take time for yourself. Whatever recharges your batteries and is healing. Might be connecting with a safe person, listening to uplifting music, watching a good movie, enjoying food, drinking something warm etc.
Stop with all this God crap. There is no man on a throne granting favors and punishing. So God damn stupid. Learn physics, we are one consciousness divided up, and disassociated from itself, so it may experience. @eckoellenstein4306
As I have read in the other replies it’s important to look around the messes and stresses for the small gifts that could be easy to miss by focusing on what’s wrong and what we do not have. Focusing on what we do have and what is working right or when an act of kindness appears helps to dilute the focus on what’s wrong. I try to look “peripherally” meaning what are the good things that played out? Pretty soon that starts to bring a more balanced perspective.
I heard this quote; “Sometimes Jesus calms the storm. Other times he calms the sailor.”
@@maggie6152 that is the crux of the matter !
This is me. Thank you so much for this valuable teaching. ❤
I am exhausted all of the time, for years and It's increased with worse arthritis pain. I just had a ck up, and everything looked fine, but I don't feel fine.
This video came up, and so many of these pertain to me.
My exhaustion is starting to make sense. Now, the work that feels exhausting since I have so many of these.
Thank you!
Got to self care and tuned out.
Self care requires...
A place in the world to live
Shelter, water, food, currency, people to trade with, friends, family etc etc etc.
Helpful. Hopefully there will be another video with recovery strategies. I've been depleted most of my adult life, if not all.
So much good information. I wish you offered more on how to improve it.
💯 Exactly, tired of hearing what is soooo wrong with everyone but no way to even overcome
all of these self help types will spend ALL of their time telling you whats wrong with you and almost no time on what to do to fix it, they maximize TH-cam ad revenue by NOT solving your problem so you keep coming back and watching their new videos. It's sick
@@juliehudson9476 he has a lot of tips on his complex trauma lecture series - if you want further advice look up Dr K.
Essentially it will be about emotional processing, trying meditation, journalling, understanding what happens in your internal world and why you do the things you do, whilst being self loving and allowing repressed emotions to resurface and the grieve the pain, allowing anger to be felt, sadness etc
@@reverse_meta9264 agree. I think I know enough about what’s wrong now and might need to disengage with this type of content and focus on what’s right, being in gratitude feels best.
Can we be grateful please?
Ok here’s one. Opposite action - DBT.
Thank you for your content!
Thank you for making this so available. Respect.
I've been depleted for rhe last 3 years..I really needed this information.
I've been in recovery for 31 years and over the last several years have been caring for my Dad through his cancer journey while working full time. I'm exhausted and am trying to pace myself but it's hard to do based on what's occurring. I listen to meditation videos and your talks frequently. Self care has become a challenge.
Michelle........please find a care coördinator.........the team treating your father should know this. We had one in The Netherlands when we were going yhrough a cancer experience. Please find someone you can talk to, it's vital to reset your mechanics to be able to handle this. Best of luck.
I FEEL EVERYTHING!!!!
Not switched off at all
Totally conscious
Never done drugs or alcohol
Hardly sleep
I’m a human DOING not a human BEING
I don’t rest
I’m constantly trying to BE better
DO better
CARE more for other people (partner, adult children etc )
My child is screaming to be noticed, heard & seen
But she’s forgotten, ignored and abandoned
I need REST in my brain & body
I definitely am with you there, except I don’t have children I have Corgis. I have the same issues because of emotional depletion and fibromyalgia, panick attacks, adhd, ocd. Bless you 🦋
May I ask if you are an EMPATH ?
🦋⭕️🦋
I’m not sure about empath, but I’m certainly a people pleaser and nurturer
It’s only noticed if I stop!!!
@@annabellgrey7657
I have CPTSD BIPOLAR2 and life full of abuse
I should write a book but who would read such a miserable tale!? lol
This is so very helpful! I didn’t even know this was needed information. Thank you Tim!
Thank you very good video. I can say I have been in most of those situations! I have been feeling bone weary, soul weary if you like, and trying to drag myself out of it, but it's very difficult. I went through loss from an early age as a kid, had a tumultuous life, I won't go into details but trust me I was a giver, and I am guessing it's shame based from early childhood. I'm an empathic female, was a psych nurse for 30 yrs, and now at 70 I've been isolated from my family who are toxic. This made me very sad, but now I see God has removed all the things from my life that were draining me. I didn't even realize they were so toxic!
I divorced, I had 3 friends die one after another, my so called family abandoned me. I'm retired too, so I have no one, and have been trying to de-clutter my home which got the best of me during this time. Was always neat before, drives me crazy, but I can only do so much a day. I'm doing the shadow work, also depleting, but letting go of these themes of lack in my life is worth it. I know I'll get there, but some days I wonder if I'll live long enough to see some victory!
I have started writing out my fears and resentments, then destroying the paper after asking God to remove them from my heart. Got this from another YT channel.
It is helping, I'm supposed to meditate after but I don't always follow through! It helps to get it out of my head, and stops me ruminating on them. I walk in nature when I can (Canada so cold winter now but I still do it when not icy), and do something productive each day. I never thought I'd end up at my age alone like this. People take, and take, and don't seem to know how to give back. I have just instituted boundaries, which I didn't enforce before. I value myself, and though alone, I know my angels are with me because they show me all the time. I watch for signs and synchronicities and see them often. God bless all who are going through it. Better days are ahead. I am on a new path now. This time it's for me, finding out what I want, who I am, what makes ME happy.
I'm going to look at your other videos, I guess you must have one about the solutions to this? Again many thanks. ♥
Very helpful breakdown, thank you
I really needed to hear this today. Thank you.
Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪
🇸🇪 Svääärjääääää! 🇸🇪
Ja gudarna ska veta att man traumatiseras i detta land.
This is an amazing overview of all the things i can aim to turn around for 2025 and create a supportive self-care system so I can properly heal, thank you Tim x
Nothing you said exhausted me
I just feel like I'm between despair and hopeless in my life. Whenever I want or find hope to get out of it, I get let down. No one helps. You're the only one who cooperates and for free 😢
@@مارسيلجوبن you are not alone…. I promise you that! Many people can mask this if it has not gotten to what sounds like “our level”….. I wish I could just turn my brain off. God or the Powers that be should have given us an overload button to turn our fu€king brains OFF!
I promise you are not alone. ⭕️🦋😱
Wow, I needed to hear this…as I sit here so depleted, anemic and unable get going. I was in a very narc abusive relationship for 19 years, and now as a single mom and an early elementary teacher, I have nothing left at the end of the day…I get so depressed if I’m not productive.
Thanks so much for sharing all of this information freely! There are so many things in even this one video that help me make sense of me!
Thank you so much for being and sharing this wisdom. You changed my life and helped me regain my freedom. God bless you ❤
I've been sleeping for days. I couldn't make myself even wake up, much less get up. I'm still trying to get over my relationship with my toxic ex (I've been living with trauma my whole life, so why is this one so hard?), my daughters and grandchildren never being around, financially bankrupt and stranded caused by ex causing me to lose my car, physical disability, depression. And I'm a caretaker of my disabled adult son. I needed this right now. Thank you.
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I needed this. Thank you Tim for sharing your knowledge
A big thank you Tim , for your video. I could have saved years of frustration if I would have listened to this .... Very educational and enlightening!
So insightful & informative. Thank you
This is amazing. You Dr Fletcher are amazing. Thank you! Thank you , thank you !
Fantastic breakdown of the variety of ways we can be affected ❤ Thank You
Thank you so much. This was incredibly helpful for me.
Excellent content wow 😮
Wow must stumbled across this amazing information
Thank you so much it really hit home 🙏
I'm so lonely and tired. 😢 So much trauma
I feel you, please explore more of this videos, it helps
❤😊
This makes sense as to why I was a parentified child when my parents were always sitting on their behind and doing nothing
Gratitude Tim.
almost everything you mention dear sir, is what i need to do, much is needED, still ... so much is going on... Thank you so dearly, from Belgium
Really great information in this video.
💜💙Thank you. Just what I needed to hear today. 💙💜🦋
Much appreciated. Thanks Tim!
This needs to be spoken about more. I am just beginning to re associate since early childhood abuse.
I have noticed that just the re associate part is extremely painful and exhausting. So, I am not even at neutral yet. Speaking about filling my gas tank seems so far in the future 😢
I wish i could apply all this to fibromyalgia! I went in for an emergency operation due to finding a 1.5 litre abscess in my womb & came out with full blown fibro! That was over 15 years ago. I also moved house to downsize property 2.5 years ago to avoid paying higher bedroom tax, & I still have 20 boxes to plough through. I could go on but wont bore you.
I have a lot to be thankful for so I dont complain always. I just wish this fibro would do one!
Same here, please take it one day at the time, the fibro is there to stay, i give you a big hug😘🙏🌹
Can anyone please explain what the 12 basic needs are? I keep hearing it mentioned but it's never explained.
@@tykeandjonsieshow3595 he has videos explaining it
He has videos explaining it
On his website.
What do you do when you have or display all of these things
I suppressed everything for years but I called it High Functioning. Now I am frozen, as you say
Thank you, I'm here, I listen, try and I'm struggling from lack of help lack of sleep. ✍️🧠🤗🕊️👍 Emojis mean good writing about psychology and peace to you and thumbs up. Merry Christmas and happy New Year everyone
Great information!! Is there a video to tell you how to deal with this fatigue.
Mental work is hard work. I find after therapy etc when i get home im so very tired.
Simply being alive is depleting.
I was just going to post that comment.
Wishing you a peaceful New Year.
Excellent. ❤
I feel depleted watching your videos.
WOW SO MANY AHHA'S!! Thank You 😃🙏
But what when i have chronic pain and hate all of myself and struggle going outside. Im in a prison.
@@aciddiver1978 I force myself to go out to walk, sometimes 15, 30, or more time, that doesnt matter, believe it helps a little bit to feel better
very accurate
i dont hear solutions, am i missing something? this compounded my feelings of helplessness and made me feel 10x worse
@@methodologies_of_care I think he’s helping people understand why they feel depleted, that depletion can come from things other than physical energy.
Thank you
I went Into shut down. After caring for my mothers end of life care,my best friend was diagnosed with brain cancer 6 months later, I lost my job of 17 years and my retirement. Worked overtime during COVID and caring for my friend and then I quit my job. I cared full time for my friend, cooking and assisting as he lost physical function. I got a good job I really wanted. But I quit after 4 days because, I ran late getting to my friend. Who fell and was not able to get up off the floor. Luckily, his neighbor heard him yelling for help. I was late by 30 minutes. He died 10 weeks later. Glioblastoma. He was 53. I developed vertigo out of know where about 6 weeks after his death. Luckily I had a bit of money. I slept on and on and on and on. It's been 2 1/2 years and I am still working this out.
@@doriangrey9702 this feels like me.
Thanks
Oh yes, you just need 💕
Already identifying this and trying to do better to myself, then, get covid. Totally wiped out. Exhausted from it all.
I'm concerned because I have every single thing that you've mentioned. I'm like a walking trauma who's trying to heal and it's overwhelming. If I didn't have God I don't know what I would do.
I feel exactly the same
Do you have to walk while you're healing?
You’re not alone Nicole, you’re not alone 😩☹️🥺😢😭
Wow, 2 seconds in and I've already flunked the discussion
For me inside I don't know where not to frawn with my feelings. And my loving wife gets the fighting for the fight is not at the right address. Also I have been in survival mode and I look much younger. Know it is hard to get anything done without the frustration. And taking the time for whatever I might think the hobby or walk or video gives me I have to take a stand and I can't make even that little stand. It actually feels like a virus for many weeks now. We are doing that for both of us for most of what you mentioned is active for me or her.
❤
Feeling Depleted - a dangerous time for those in recovery - therapy is depleting
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Years of dissociation from life and self, operating on auto-pilot unconscious is registering your anxiety and depression and it puts us into fight, flight, freeze shut down mode which is depleting
We need self-awareness about when we are depleted and what depletes us
Depletion is caused by imbalance of sympathetic and parasympathetic (rest) nervous system - we have a default setting of over-activity survival mode (sympathetic system)
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We get depleted physically from:
multi tasking
live in cluttered spaces
Being cooped up alone
Dehydration
Living with chronic pain
Fighting infection or illness
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Changes in life
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Emotional causes:
CPTSD people are exhausted because of stuffing emotions (fear, anger)
Feeling an intense emotion (hate, fear) cortisol takes a lot of energy
Processing old trauma
Carrying resentment, conflict
Sitting in an emotion (grief, anxiety)
Supporting someone in a state of pain - compassion fatigue
Triggered (feel rejected, disrespected)
Constantly negative default setting (complaining and criticizing) flooding brain with bad chemicals and no good chemicals
Involved in a cause it will stir up emotions (social media stirs up emotions)
Perfectionist or control-freak
CPTSD people also have a default setting of toxic shame, fear, guilt, anger, negativity, stuffing emotions, being distracted to avoid inner states, seeking validation, always worried, always angry = depleting
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95% we are subconscious - the other 5% takes a third of our calories / energy (processing and thinking)
Teaching makes you tired
Obsessing over a mental focus
Relationship conflicts or someone's problems and you're pretending it's not affecting you
Trying to wear masks to impress others
Lying and people fawning
Being attuned to other people's negative feelings
Prejudiced - you get triggered by your own racism
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No relationships, no healthy relationship or attachment we get depleted
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Social settings - you are the host / leader
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Grief
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Constant conflict with a child causing problems
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Introvert in a social setting have to do small talk
I've been layering these in my life like a mountain high lasagna, I just dont know how to fix it. Seems like whatever I do just adds another layer, I'm exhausted and I'm agitated; like there's energy that's trapped and I cant direct it.
@@amandachamberlain3169 therapy.
What is the solution?
How about living i poverty. To lack money for the basic things in life like food, etc is very hard.
Good 1:50 Lord this is happening right now I noticed it got bad when I ate multiple slices of pizza from my job when I normally resist it. Also felt disconnected and fragmented and dissociated a lot
I really have to finally break up with my partner as he will not take care of me now i have fibromyalgie and depression, i was happy with him for twentytwo years but i have to go on, it breaks me. Thanks Tim
How do we self care to stop being depleted??
Drinking game but you take a shot every time he says “that takes a lot of energy”
👉My Emotional Depletion can lead to SI or BFRB & even Disassociation. When I can be self aware, using HALT self inventory helps! (Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?)
I was just wondering how physical resting doesn't get me recovered.
Wow, I'm a hot mess. Long road to recover.
So how do we recharge? 😢
How do you improve intellectual boundaries
Yeah honestly I'm just worn out and feel like crap all the time, and the current nonexistent job market is not helping.
Triggered of something even forgotten for years
Our society doesn't recognize how much energy emotions take.