"My Wife's Anger Is Ruining Our Marriage" | Paul Friedman
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.พ. 2021
- I understand where you're coming from that her anger is difficult to deal with. I mean anger is like a blanket thrown on a light bulb it's really hard to deal with it. It is, there's no question. So let's see what a therapist would say first because I'm going to debunk that. So therapist if you went in to see one or if you went to a marriage counselor, they would talk to your wife about anger management. They would point out the obvious that it's a very toxic thing in a marriage but it doesn't really approach this problem in a way that helps your marriage and isn't that what you want? You've probably gotten used to marriage being just marriage when it's supposed to be unbelievably happy. So let's start with that instead of let's just deal with this problem. Let's start with, what it is you really want out of marriage? Why settle? What do you want out of marriage? I could tell you when I started helping people with their marriages, I couldn't use the same standards that therapists use because it didn't make any sense to me which was get to the root of the problem, have the person who's presenting the problems, solve the problem. It doesn't deal with why we get married. We get married in order to be happier every single day of our lives, happier than the day before.
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#marriageproblems #anger #angermanagement #angermngt #frustrated #abusivepartner
Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by:
1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing.
2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways
3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions.
Go to themarriagefoundation.org and get the course if you need it. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action.
Lol the thing is I’ve already removed all the known triggers. I never know what’s going to set her off, the list is endless and she could make a career out of being a professionally offended person
One must look within for love, and never be offendded by another's flaws or errors
I went through about 20 books, 2 therapists, 2 arbitration specialists to save my marriage, which didn't work. Man, that was brutal. We walked into the therapist room with holding our hands together. Then, as usual, she turned into some kind of monster of "all these bad things happened because of my husband". Her 247 nonstop complaining was just out of this world, man. She hit her head to the door and turned around said in one second "Why didn't you console me?" and started repertoire for next two hours. Her mother and sisters are in the same situation but never consider changing the style. For them, It is just fun and easy blame.
I know, and so that is the dynamic of couple's therapy. Get our course for men and be in happiness, love, and harmony themarriagefoundation.org/ and maybe she will want the course for women, too
What I got from this is, “men always have to be the bigger person and have to be the one who calms her down”. Reality is that you get to your house from work, you’re in a good mood, your wife probably isn’t, and she’ll bring up something minuscule or irrelevant or she’ll complain about something from her job, and if you don’t give her the response she’s looking for, she’ll take it up a notch and mention something about you being incompetent or how you lack something, you tell her how you don’t appreciate what she said and the tone she said it in. But then she tries to justify why she’s taking shots at you. Never admit that they’re wrong, and for the very rare occasions they admit that we’re wrong, they keep doing it over and over again. And you just get tired of being the bigger person, so you escalate it too. It just gets worse as time passes by and then you realize, my wife’s anger is definitely ruining our marriage
A "bigger person" would never tell someone they don't like their tone. A true lover, a soulmate, would only find ways to bring happiness into their partner's life, both men and women, its not about gender. Its about being a lover
this is true. I get what the man in the video is saying but some woman are just straight up abusive and it's emasculating to be a perpetual victim to them
@@TheMarriageFoundation How do you reconcile the disrespect? Being loving and empathetic is great, and can work, but if your partner is unresponsive to the love and empathy and continues to be hurtful/disrespectful/etc then continuing to enable them won’t encourage them to change. Additionally, allowing the mistreatment shows your children that it’s permissible to be mistreated, and you doom them
I have to agree with these guys. We give woman way too much room to walk Y away from their accountability. It’s a societal issue
Everything you just said I'm living it and it's very hard. I try my best to keep my wife and kid happy but it's never appreciated or acknowledged all that I do. When she gets angry I usually just stay calm or ignore it.
Please help me with this. If a woman is constantly angry it’s the man’s issue. If the man is constantly angry it’s the man’s issue.
Well, yes, but that knowledge doesn't give you the means to heal your marriage. One must learn about marriage to improve theirs.
This is tough
Everything in life is tough when you don't know "how"
That’s if she doesn’t have a psychotic condition. You are talking about a rational person. This helps very few people.
You swore to love her in sickness and in health. It is about love and loyalty not about easy is fine but difficult is not
I’ve been walking on egg shells for 2 years. Ever since we had a kid she went back into her old ways with serious mental health problems. She won’t go back on her meds. We went to therapy they told her to and she won’t. Everyone who knows her tells her she needs to calm down. What am I supposed to do about that?
@@seenturschman I hear what you're saying, there has to be a level where you question their mental health, like I seriously think my wife has a chemical imbalance, and this guy's solution is just to take the irrational and abusive behavior from your wife. At some point the man has to stand up for himself and extract himself from a relationship where his needs aren't being met, where he is literally being abused by his wife. I feel like I'm not being good enough to myself by allowing myself to continue to be screamed at and get cussed out and even get shit thrown at me
"thinking" instead of sticking with your vows to love, cherish, protect, and serve until you are seperated by death will not help you or her as living a life of truth is important. You didn't inset conditions into our vows, did you?
What if you had an accident and could no longer walk? Should she leave you?
Sounds familiar her feelings are my fault, my feelings are my fault. I just have to take it.
In truth I never point out whose fault it is I only tell how to create happiness where there is now frutstration
I am doing everything you are saying Sir
focus on loving her, looking past the "demon" anger that controls her. themarriagefoundation.org/
This just saved my marriage thanks
Now, take your marriage to heights of love and happiness you never imagined before
🙏
Marriage just isn't it anymore.
It is when yyou know what you are doing!