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Story 2: as a autistic girl I understand the kleptic part of autism, I collect Harry Potter things, wolves and dragons and pins. To encourage me to stop collecting these items, I make lists of what I want or turn things into projects to work on then sell or give them away. Perhaps turning the list of chores into a game that he'd enjoy would help. Like 'you get X amount done and we'd go out to eat, or hey, do these things consistently for three months and I'd get you something small you really like.' It may sound childish however with a autistic brain, your mental age is lower then your physical age. I'm 26 yet I feel like I've finally stepped into my twenties in how I do and handle things.
Listen man and imma be honest here some of these people dont care they really dont care that u have a mental issue they just sometimes see "oh they keep stuff they should grow up and be better" even with the info you provide and it honestly pisses me off i personally dont THINK i have anything maybe ADHD but more people should try to look at things from the other persons perspective also w comment i hope u get pushed to the top of thr comment section cuz everyone is talking on everything but the biased bullshit in story 2
In my opinion, the moment she and the rest of the family decided you were the child of the devil, she and all of them stopped being family. If you're going to treat me like my existence is a massive disgrace, you can get the hell out of my life because I don't want you in it.
Seriously, like my mother tried to pull a family intervention about why I went no contact with her. I just played the tape of her and her husband saying I was nothing but a liability from day one, blah blah blah you've heard the story. Turned out bad for Mommy Dearest.
I've never understood why she wanted control this badly. That reminded me of my deranged grandmother from my dad side. I cut her off my life completely. The most frustrating thing is that every time when she comes here unannounced she keeps begging me to not forget her and i should her remember with the good things only. My grandma hated my guts when I was born my own legal name is a result of a beef between her and my mother, she also hated me that i look more like to my mother and she favor my spoiled entitled younger brother. She bullied my mom so badly that resulted of my mother's death. Even when I moved to study in university she demanded to visit my apartment and i told her that I won't hesitate to call the police.
Story 3: uhh, the actions of that 4 year old in that story sound like the that kid might have been subjected to child sex abuse and the OP should contact child protective services *_immediately._*
There is also another explanation. My daughter is autistic and she would stick things in every orifice - Popcorn kernel in her ear - Polystyrene ball up her nose - Coin in mouth and swallowed it - Not going into detail of what she done with the other orifices. Did not like wearing clothes and stripped the moment she got home from pre-school. It was exhausting. She's a lot older now and knows not to do these things.
for story 2 i can relate a bit to it as i have my own things that i tend to keep or forget to do things even at work, what i find helps is having a written list of things that need to be done somewhere in the house or maybe a few smaller ones for each room
10:08 This one is tricky. If he is struggling with co habitation and with minor hording, they need to find a councilor that has experience with autism. This is a normal thing for autism. Also patient on op is need. It is not easy thing but needed. It takes time to get into the grove with Nuro divergent people. I understand the frustration though.
*First Story:* Call. The. Police. Have your grandma arrested for both theft and breaking and entering, force her to give up any copies of the keys she has (and change your locks in case she tries to hide any of them and lie that she doesn't have any other copies. And then get a restraining order and go full no-contact with her. You need to make it 100% clear that she is not welcome in your life, and if she continues to try and invade and control your life that you can and will have her arrested and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. What she's doing is 100% not okay. I don't care what her religion is, you are a grown adult with a family of your own, not a child. She has no right whatsoever to tell you how to live your own life, it's none of her damn business. All she's doing is trying to satisfy her own bloated narcissistic ego and need for total control of those around her, and any sane person would be quick to completely cut her out of their lives. She's nuts.
Story 1: Grandma is a narcissist. Move and do not tell her where you are going for your own privacy and security - jees louise. Stealing and making copies of your keys is not ok especially when you have said no to her having a copy. Plus stealing is wrong by canonical law. If she is that devout in her religion she would never have broken that rule. She's just a control freak and the further away from her, the better off you will be. Story 2: Sounds like your fiance is pathologically demand avoidant as well as having an obsession to hoard. I understand completely where you are coming from as my 12 year old daughter is PDA as well and we have to constantly remind her where her dirty dishes go, where her rubbish goes, where her dirty clothes go etc. My partner is also a hoarder. With my partner sometimes I make things disappear when he's not around. I recently found a broken PC keyboard, no joke there. It went where it was meant to go. He always thinks he can fix these things but he seriously cannot. Another example: His parents passed away a few years ago. He brought back with him some sentimental items which is fine, I have no problem with that - but he also brought home things like a vegetable steamer, mugs, plates - the list is endless of things that could have went to a different home. So about 2 years after having this stuff in our house, I took some things to the charity shop - not the sentimental goods - they have stayed, but other things like the plates etc. He has not even noticed. When it comes to cleaning, you need to help him with executive functioning skills - a watch with an app has been designed specifically for this purpose to help neurodivergent people manage their day to day living if that is a problem area - not all autistic people have that problem bear in mind. Also breaking tasks down is important as they literally do not understand the words sometimes - brain does not compute. Look up YoSamdySam here on YT as she has mentioned it in one of her videos. As far as towels being in the middle of a floor, tell your partner you understand the need for organisation and have the towels in the bathroom so they are there and readily accessible for when he is going to wash. A place for everything and everything in its place has always been my motto in life and I get how frustrating it can be with neurodivergence, but there are things that can help. Good luck. Story 3: Thank goodness you evicted her out your house. I would have called CPS as well. This woman does not sound like parent material and seriously needs parenting classes.
@@Charles-7exactly but only a few people like yourself ever points that out and acknowledges it’s not the faith but the people in the faith. The scripture even talks about causing God’s children to stumble is a big no no because you can turn them away from God by your actions. This is why it says in the scriptures in verse Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
I work with people with special needs. And that behavior with cleaning and laundry is typical with some of them. It may never change under normal circumstances. And then it'll revert back eventually.
Story 2: I have multiple Family members with Autism and am on the spectrum myself. Here is what you are facing and you best options 1) Hoarding Issue. This is Fixable. It will be hard. He will have difficulty understanding (on an emotional, not intellectual level) why he has to get rid of the junk, but if you have patience and make it clear that it is either you or the stuff, you should be able to get rid of it. After that, give him a specific area for his stuff. If that area is full, but he wants something else, he will have to toss something old to make room. Once it sinks in (and it may take months) you shouldn't have too much of a problem. 2) Employment. Most likely not a problem. It sounds like he is not working while in school. He sounds high functioning enough that he should be fine getting and keeping a job once he graduates. You can encourage him to get a little part time job (especially if he has never had a job before) to help him get emotionally ready, but this is probably the smallest issue. 3) Not picking up after himself as he goes about his day. This one will likely be the hardest to change. If he is like me some others I have known and work with, this may never change. It isn't a sign of disrespect. Our brains just don't work this way. To this day making the bed still makes no sense to me. There are a few work arounds that you might find acceptable. Here are your options: A) Accept picking up after him. If it takes less than 5 minutes per day (and will likely take less once he is done with school and working full time), it might be worth that 5 extra minutes a day of picking up after a man who is otherwise a great guy. There are far worse quirks and flaws out there. B) Have him do it all at ones, possibly with a check list if needed. This is what I do. My best example is how I cook. I never clean up as I cook. That just seems highly inefficient and a huge bother. I cook the food, serve it, then eat it with my family. Then afterwards, often an hour or two afterwards, I will go back and put away all of the ingredients and clean up the dishes I used. Your fiancé may never be able to pick up after himself as he goes through out the day. What he will be able to do (probably) is to clean up everything he got out over the course of a day in one fell swoop. He may need a check list, but once you and he make that once and get him in the habit of doing it, it shouldn't be a problem anymore. C) Break up with him. While I don't know the man in question, he sounds like he is a good guy. It sounds like the issues stem from autism and not disrespect. In my opinion, there can be work arounds to deal with quirks related to autism. The questions is if you can handle the work arounds. All of our brains work differently. If a couple can't reconcile their brain differences, then it is not going to work.
(Quick question at the end)Dude I’ve known I’m autistic for around a year or maybe two idk but I didn’t realise that some of what I do is common for people on the spectrum like the whole making the bed thing like why even bother if I’m going to have to unmake it to sleep or even to sit on my bed to watch tv it will unmake it anyway, and the cooking thing too is exactly right because even when I’m reminded to do it I just can’t be bothered to put the packets away as I do stuff because it just takes too much time to do and I want to keep an eye on my food lol. Quick question as I don’t have anyone else to ask as they may think I’m odd for it: I get really paranoid about loads of things like if I see anyone bigger than me that looks at me I instantly think they might try something or I like sitting or standing in corners so I can see the entrance and exit and everyone in there without having to move much and I’m just generally cautious of everyone and what they do or say like if someone compliments me I wonder if they have a different motive or not and I worry, is this common for autistic people or just me?
@@Thomas_the_better_one I can only speak from my personal experience, my experience with my family, and my experience working with autistic kids while I was in college, but I will answer the best that I can. One thing to remember is that autism really just a different way of thinking and processing information. The answer to your questions is "probably not" and "no". 1) It is definitely not "just you". Such feelings are not particularly uncommon. If such feelings make life difficult, don't be afraid to talk to a psychologist about anxiety. it is a common feeling/condition. It can definitely make life hard at times, but there are treatments and coping methods available. I have family and friends with anxiety. For some, just knowing about it has helped them, others get counseling (don't be afraid to ask for it), and some have been given medication to help with the worst of the symptoms. That is between you and your doctor though. 2) They are unlikely to be related to autism though. Those on the Autism spectrum are actually more likely to be oblivious such things. Hope this helps. I'm no expert, but sometimes you just want to talk to someone who can relate.
@@theethicalostrich1388 thanks actually it did help I didn’t really see it as anxiety and just saw it as normal and didn’t realise what it really was so thanks
My grandma, who is a traditional catholic, just said "we are not claiming those nutcases." Since a traditional catholic said so, maybe the local WBBC will claim them?
Story 3: Sharon is my little brother. He won't stay employed and begs for money constantly. I refuse to enable it and the people in Sharon's life are doing more damage by enabling the behavior. Also, I think that four year old might have been sexually abused. I hope those kids are okay...
Problem with your response to Story #2. It depends on how neurodivergent he is. If he is someone that she believes is capable of changing their behavior, get his parents to pay for counseling/an organizing coach/a life coach.
As an autistic kid with similar issues, fuck no. I’ll figure it out on my own I’m not stupid enough that I need people to sign me up for counseling and this kid probably isn’t either
Which story was about “organized mythology “. I hope you weren’t talking about the first story. That woman had mental problems, and what she did was against the Church. Just because a couple of people use religion as an excuse for bad behavior does not mean that the religion condones the bad behavior. These people would do what they want even with no religion to fall back on as an excuse.
For first story, me being daughter of an Orthodox priest and adopted by Anglican family (these people are toxic).... I feel that despite the different dominations. But my dad is kind man and my adoptive family didn't. My adoptive family always demonized me all time.
Second story: He has AUTISM. If she's unable or not willing to support him and work with his autism, then she shouldn't be in that relationship. She's the jerk! Urging him to "man up" is such a neurotypical bullshit view. They need to find solutions that work for both of them if their relationship is going to work. He needs some kind of system to keep on top of things, and he clearly needs her to support him in some ways. that should have been made clear at the start of the relationship. At the start of their relationship, either they didn't discuss his needs as an autistic person or she didn't understand what she was getting into. Her expectations are way too high and putting the blame on his parents for "enabling" him like his autism is just him being selfish and immature is just so ableist.
This! Like our brains literally are formed different, we can't just do everything the exact way that neurotypicals do it. We need a lot of our own experience to figure out what works
Really? Can see ur American with your entitled, victim minded mindset. My best friend is autistic, and he's the cleanest, neatest person I know, even more neat than me. No excuses for laziness.
For the story about the husband with autism: You're being way too harsh. Yes, he needs to learn to clean up after himself and such, but it's just the way you started almost berating him that bothers me. I have diagnosed autism, ADHD, depression, and anxiety. And sometimes I do have trouble keeping my place organized and clean because I simply forget to do it. I'm not so bad when living in a dorm where there are room checks and very limited space (I get claustrophobic when there's too much mess in a small shared space), at my house it's an entirely different story. I only recently was able to get in my room and clean it out. And yes, I am an adult. Theoretically I should 'know better' and not have an issue with something as small and easy as just picking up after myself. However that's just not how it works for people like me. We tend to have a very limited short term memory, like so limited that we could get distracted and forget a pot on the stove, or forget to eat, or forget to shower. We will literally forget just about anything in terms of housework/chores/self care. You shouldn't berate him, because that helps no one. Even though I know it's not my fault, I still beat myself up about these little habits which only triggers my depression and makes it even harder to get into a healthy routine. He needs to work on skills to help remind himself to do these things. He needs to work on developing routines so he has specific times that are set aside for him to do these things. He needs help, not belittlement.
First story: it's stories like these that make me think DV needs to be more wide spread for certain people. This old lady needs respect between into her
story 2: I feel like some therapy for hording might be in order. A different commenter put it all more eloquently than I ever could by using their own experience.
The first realy pissed me of its because it reminded me of my deranged grandmother. It's disgusting when I moved to study in university. My grandma demanded that i should come home and I should show her my apartment. I told her no and i also told her that I won't hesitate to call the police if she shows up. The Op's grandma is deranged and i feel bad that he had to endure that nuisance. For him i wish him the best for my and his grandmother rest in piss and burn in hell.
Okayyy story 2: speaking as an autistic person myself I will say that it isn’t that he doesn’t care that she is exhausted or any of that, as I and almost every other autistic person aren’t able to understand social cues that something is wrong like for example I don’t realise when I’m annoying someone (adhd mixed with the autism enhances this a lot) until they actually tell me that I am and then I will try to rectify it and I’m sure this goes for others on the spectrum secondly the putting stuff in weird places is a thing I have been told about, my room looks messy but everything is where I know it is or where it should be like: that outfit I was going to wear but didn’t need to wear it because plans fell through? I know exactly where that is and I will wear it and it’s fine but others say it looks messy but everything is where it should be. However if you’ve even read to this point I would like to say that if OP tells him about this or even tells him to set alarms on his phone to remind him to do things stuff like: remember to clean up, it could be very beneficial to him and the relationship all in all he does need to clean messes and not hoard stuff but if he puts stuff where he knows where it is then OP should just leave him to it unless it bothers them so much that they need to talk about it but it doesn’t sound like it does it sounds like it is just the mess and hoarding
years ago i had a similar problem with my mother, she would always open any mail sent to me, which arrived whilst i was at work, her excuse was " i thought it was for your father" as our initials were the same, problem solved when i asked my friends to use my work address
To the second story, it probably has a lot to do with the fact that his brain just literally cannot see it until it gets really bad. And then whenever it does get really bad, it's so overwhelming with stimuli that it makes it hard to do anything. Sometimes things like setting alarms or creating chore charts or stuff like that as childish as it may sound can actually be really helpful. And it also may be worth seeing about getting a coach that deals with things like autism and ADHD specifically. And it is also worth you learning about nerodiversities as someone that is nerotypical so you have better understanding and can have more effective conversation. This is all from someone that has diagnosed ADHD and has been told many times are you sure you're not autistic to the point of I'm like 90% sure I probably am. Mostly because at the point that I was diagnosed with ADHD it was less common for people to also be diagnosed with autism and even less common for women to be diagnosed with both ADHD and autism. I am also a person that is a volunteer firefighter so I mask a lot. Which means that I hide my symptoms to be a more effective firefighter and whenever I get home it's so hard for me to do things because I'm exhausted both mentally and physically because all my energy went towards looking and acting "normal". And if he is also doing this, it can make it even harder for him to effectively keep things clean at home because he literally does not have the mental capacity for it. It is also extremely unfair to say that he doesn't care because he probably does care very much for this person, but because of his nurodiversity he just literally cannot tell that it is upsetting. That's why sometimes you've got to be really literal with people that have things like ADHD and autism. Sometimes we just cannot see what your emotion is. And if hes never really been taught from a young age, how to do things. Even with him being the way that he is. Then it makes even more sense that he is 24 and doesn't know how to do these things, and it can take a lot of time to get to the point where he knows how to do these things. But you've gotta be persistent with it, and you've got to figure out ways of making it rewarding to his brain because part of the hoarding is because those things feel rewarding.
Story 2: i feel like to some extent you're not fully understanding, it's completely valid to be annoyed and you need to put your mental health first and neruodivergantcy isnt an excuse but you cant say "he knows better" or "knows how to" when you clearly just describe that he doesnt, i am ADHD and in the process of Autism tesing/diagnosis and i collect shiny or soft things, i recommend sitting down and explaining that you're not mad *at him* but you're upset with the mess, calmly explain why its bothering you and how its effecting you, then the two of you try to come up with a plan to clean, however after that if he doesn't make an effort to change or fix it then talk about how if it (the mess) doesn't change then you'll possibly leave due to the stress
As an autistic person who has a hard time taking care of myself/cleaning, maybe try a schedule kr phone reminders. I dont automatically think about the next step just the current task. After the task is done im done but cleaning its a separate task so putting it on a schedule will help. Collecting things is part kf some peoples autism, maybe they could donate so they arent wasting/throwing things away.
I will play games and forget to do anything like: dad tells me to make sure to do my daily job( usually consists of doing the family dishwasher or doing the tumble dryer and washing machine stuff) and I will completely forget and sometimes even when I’m not playing games I will do this
My grandmother is still alive at 105 years old. She is a Catholic, meaner than a snake, racist, hateful, and has no empathy for others. But even she wouldn’t do something this vile.
That is extremely illegal to copy someone’s keys that is extremely illegal and that is literally breaking and entering multiple times multiple that is so illegal she could be put in jail for years literally so many illegal things that she has done and gone through everyone’s things that’s even more legal
@@lovelysakurapetalsytwhich is fine. This is a perfectly fine deal breaker. If the less desirable actions are due to his autism then it is perfectly fine to go,”this wont work.” *no one* including those with disabilities is entitled to a relationship. Those with disabilities need to realize that certain things that we have (yes i have multiple disabilities) will make us less desirable to certain people and *that is* fine.
story #2 is completely normal behavior for someone with autism, I'm 43 and have the same problem with cleaning and saving just about everything and I have autism and my apartment has stuff for 2 more apartments
for story two. i dont think its fair for that to be said about it. its not like hes doing it on purpose. thats how his parents raised him. just do whatever you want whenever you want and keep everything. they just need to talk. he is nuerodiverse. its not a being lazy thing. your brain is just literally different. it needs to be said in a way that makes sense to him, and work on solutions together. we all have our own things we are flawed in whether nuerodiverse or nuerotypical.
Why the original poster in that last one didn't call CPS and animal control is beyond me it really does sound like her kids and dog need to be taken away from her and she needs go live on the streets where she belongs.
Story 1: The Op had no control over how she came into the world. They were born just as innocent as any child born into any other walk of life. Her grandmother has every right to her religion, but it is not her right to force her views on others, and she literally broke the law to invade their privacy and lecture them, which she is already guilty of lecturing them about religion to death on a daily basis.
Story 1: I don’t believe that the grandma is a true catholic if she’s committing crimes to make sure that the op is making the right catholic choices. What the grandma did goes along the lines of breaking and entering and is punishable by a maximum of 10 years in prison. What I’d do if I was in the op’s situation was file a police report and have the grandma serve time in jail because what she’s doing isn’t right Edit: I made a mistake, it’s only breaking and entering if she had intent to steal. If she had no intention to steal it becomes criminal trespassing and is punishable by a max of 90 days in jail and a 1k fine if a misdemeanor. If it’s a gross misdemeanor it’s punishable by a max of 1 year in jail and a 5k fine.
Story 2: set up a householdschedule, it might just work out. I feel like he needs some structure that needs to be in his system. The thing with autistic people is that they usually go well on routine and structure.
Story 2: First, I wanna say that if narrator doesn't know what they're on about, they should shut up. It was stated at the start of the story that the partner is autistic, so the whole "they're 24 years old they shouldn't be doing this!" and the jab about "they probably have stuff they're dealing with but I dunno what" crap is unacceptable. Yes, autism is a spectrum and some of us are closer to neurologicals than others, but all we know Bout what this partner exhibits is what we were told and we know absolutelynothing about what the partner is actually thinking or feeling around the things that are upsetting OP. Being 24 doesn't matter, this is a neurological difference that can change the rate at which we develop certain attributes and that's just how that is. Now for my comment on the story for OP; I'm on the spectrum too and I'm actually a pretty late diagnosis (I was diagnosed at 29), and a lot of what you said about your partner rings very familiar for me, particularly the organised mess and the trouble with remembering tasks or thinking about tasks I should be doing (the hoarding is definitely something I suffer from but luckily my favoured objects cost too much and I literally can't get them because of it). You were on the right track with your dorm room accommodations with your partner I think, they seemed to respond to that pretty well under those circumstances, so maybe you can try and find some way to sort of recreate the circumstances of having someone keep tabs so you don't get evicted or whatever was going on? But try not to be too aggressive when you bring it up, ask your partner for their input on what THEY think might help them. For the tasks; reminders. Flat out you and your partner need to set up reminders. I have 5 separate alarms set for myself every single day to remind me to certain things I need to do daily (namely take my medication), every single appointment or event that isn't part of my normal routine gets put on my phone calander with a minimum of three reminders on THAT (a week, a day, and an hour before) and things that are further off get more reminders put on them. I also go out of my way to ask people to remind me of things they want or need me to do, and again the time between needing their reminder and the action I need to take depends on how long between the request and the result is. I'll also ask people I live with to remind me and even nag to do things around the house that I need to do. Remembering to do tasks that we didn't plan for ourselves seems to be a very difficult thing across the spectrum, and remembering tasks we DID plan for ourselves can be hit and miss. The hoarding I really wish I could help on but it's something I struggle with myself and it's mostly through cost and physical space that I don't really have to keep on top of myself about it. I'm certain my mum was on the spectrum too, she also was a hoarder (also a proper enough one to be actually called a hoarder medically I think) and when I was living with her it was impossible to deal with and try to ask her deal with too, so I got nothing on that one. I hope I helped with the other bits though if you or anyone else that needs to see this does see it
On the story with the autistic boyfriend: you need to study up on Autism and see if this is something you can live with for the rest of your life. He has cues to help him remember simple thing that you are not necessarily happy with. He can correct behavior for a short while but will be easily distracted. He is not aggravating on purpose. His mind is wired differently than yours. If he is bothering you this much now, it will only get worse. You both have to find common ground and work from there. True love takes work all the time. Is he worth it or is it time to move on before becoming another statistic?
Story 2: Im annoyed with the break down of this one. Neurodivergent means his BRAIN WORKS DIFFERENTLY. "Acting like an adult" is really fucking hard for us. I get it if you don't know much about it or understand, but our brains sometimes jump tracks in the middle of doing something, so yes we might leave a mess without even realizing it. Or we won't clean up because most of us suffer from Rejection Sensitivity, SEVERE anxiety and reactions to being told we have done something wrong. We feel guilty as hell for these things! We know we do it and we struggle to figure out how to fix it!
@@AnimeGamer501stNo, the OP really shouldn't be. OP was aware of these issues before, knew he was neurodivergent, but thought he'd be able to "fix it" by trying harder. That's just not how things work. Yes, they can get better at remembering to do certain things but it's still a struggle. I grew up with my neurodivergent mom and brother so I regularly saw them struggle with specific things. My brother just assumes that the rules as written cannot be bent in any way. Trying to explain to him that just because the rules say "You cannot talk during quiet time" didn't mean that he couldn't speak up if he started feeling sick. Having to explain things to them will keep happening, especially since (as the person above stated) getting called names for being different, people belittling you, dealing with not being able to understand what you did wrong, etc are all things most people who are neurodivergent struggle with. They will struggle with those things the rest of their lives. I don't think OP is a jerk for being frustrated, because it IS frustrating, but it's also not something that they can just stop doing. OP should try to work with the boyfriend to help him remember to do certain things (for example chore lists. A chore list with clear expectations of what you want to be done and they'll do it every time.) Assuming they want to continue the relationship. Relationships with people who are neurodivergent is hard, and it can be a struggle at times especially if you aren't yourself. They'll never "act like a grown-up" the way most people think of one. There are certain habits that they can't break, and if they're a deal breaker then it is what it is. Trying to force them to "act normally" will do nothing but make them miserable. Especially since they've dealt with people trying to "fix them" their whole lives.
I've got autism, really isn't an excuse tbh. It's harder sometimes, especially cleaning tasks but it doesn't mean you shouldn't try and take into consideration others that are also living with you..... they'd already been told exactly what they were doing wrong and what needs to be done and cleaning up after yourself doesn't really need to be explained. Also laundry bag just sounds like laziness, they know where their laundry goes but still proceed to throw it on the floor. Also just because they're neurodivergent doesn't mean their needs should be above those of their partners.
My brother is a Catholic. It's difficult getting along with him when it comes to religion. Look, Buddhism is not exactly a religion per sé. It's more of a philosophy. I burn incense because of the sandalwood fragrance, it tells me how long to be in the state of "thought of no thought". Too long is over-indulgence and unproductive. The "middle-way" is hard to achieve.
I swear this super religious people are the worst (not everyone, just people like this grandma). The grandma acted like she was doing the will of god, without realising she was breaking one of the 10 commandments. DO NOT STEAL.
I'm sorry, but your take on story 2 is somewhat ignorant. Someone who's on the spectrum can't just switch off their brain or change on a dime. They need lots of time, patience and understanding from their SO, and room for growth/error. If she sat down and talked with him and his parents, I'm sure some form of help can be extended.
Second story, i disagree Im 19, autistic, and struggle daily to do everyday tasks like taking care of myself and my space. It mightve been bad parenting to let the fiance do what he wanted without being told what he could and couldnt have, yeah thats bad but otherwise everything else is just normal autistic behaviors and you shouldnt hold it against him for not being able to recognize why this is an issue and why you need to Tell Him that its an issue
I think its to harsh on the person who's bf is autistic cause I can relate to him cause hoarding runs in my family and I am also autistic . You really just need to set him down and tell him the truth that there is to much clutter and we don't need all of it and just try and have him cut back like ask him ok what do you think we need to keep and what can go. It isn't to hard you just have to opraoch it in a more simple way that he can understand .
Story 2: Autistic memory hoarder here. I have the same issue with holding onto bits and bobs because of important memories associated with them. For me the best way to clean through it is to get a bunch of boxes, like 4 or 5 huge ones. Each mess goes into a box. Once the mess is up, sort the box contents based on where things are supposed to be and have an extra box for things to give to others. I find it easier to donate items than to toss them, then that item can go on to make new memories for someone else. It's less that he's being disrespectful and more that he's never had someone help him work around and with his Autism. It'll take time and patience and both need to learn how to work with this because autism never goes away. The wife especially needs to learn since any kids they have will most likely be autistic.
Thats why I love the Marie Kondo way Gather the mess based on topics (clothes, Papers, pictures etc) and then take every Piece, think about it and when it doesn't give you future Joy you THANK the item for giving you Joy in the past (orother memories)
@@lovelysakurapetalsyt possible. I say this because I live with a 32 year old man who is mentally about 7 or 8. He has to have someone to guide him all the time.
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How you made this comment 10 days ago
10 days!?
How
@@R.I.P_elliemaybe it is made to be posted 10 days ahead as premier
@@R.I.P_elliethe people who run this channel are just informing us and what's with the canman 18 profile picture
Story 1: I've known some really hard-core 'Trad-Cath' people, but the OPs grandmother just sounds crazy.
It reminded me of my grandmother on my dad's side . She's equally crazy as the Op's one.
The sad thing is I've heard about crazier, but thats mostly going into cult like behavior.
It's their kind that made me convert to atheism
Story 2: as a autistic girl I understand the kleptic part of autism, I collect Harry Potter things, wolves and dragons and pins. To encourage me to stop collecting these items, I make lists of what I want or turn things into projects to work on then sell or give them away. Perhaps turning the list of chores into a game that he'd enjoy would help. Like 'you get X amount done and we'd go out to eat, or hey, do these things consistently for three months and I'd get you something small you really like.' It may sound childish however with a autistic brain, your mental age is lower then your physical age. I'm 26 yet I feel like I've finally stepped into my twenties in how I do and handle things.
Listen man and imma be honest here some of these people dont care they really dont care that u have a mental issue they just sometimes see "oh they keep stuff they should grow up and be better" even with the info you provide and it honestly pisses me off i personally dont THINK i have anything maybe ADHD but more people should try to look at things from the other persons perspective
also w comment i hope u get pushed to the top of thr comment section cuz everyone is talking on everything but the biased bullshit in story 2
@@Just_TgIt is more serious than just a mental issue in some cases of extreme autism people can't even talk
@@lindsayroberts922 which is my point..
Brody for you I have 0 fucks to give
I'm autistic as well...
In my opinion, the moment she and the rest of the family decided you were the child of the devil, she and all of them stopped being family. If you're going to treat me like my existence is a massive disgrace, you can get the hell out of my life because I don't want you in it.
Seriously, like my mother tried to pull a family intervention about why I went no contact with her. I just played the tape of her and her husband saying I was nothing but a liability from day one, blah blah blah you've heard the story. Turned out bad for Mommy Dearest.
@@puppetmasterey Wow, that really sucks, but glad that she got exposed.
@@QuickManEXE gotta love 1 party consent states.
I've never understood why she wanted control this badly. That reminded me of my deranged grandmother from my dad side. I cut her off my life completely. The most frustrating thing is that every time when she comes here unannounced she keeps begging me to not forget her and i should her remember with the good things only. My grandma hated my guts when I was born my own legal name is a result of a beef between her and my mother, she also hated me that i look more like to my mother and she favor my spoiled entitled younger brother. She bullied my mom so badly that resulted of my mother's death. Even when I moved to study in university she demanded to visit my apartment and i told her that I won't hesitate to call the police.
Story 3: uhh, the actions of that 4 year old in that story sound like the that kid might have been subjected to child sex abuse and the OP should contact child protective services *_immediately._*
There is also another explanation. My daughter is autistic and she would stick things in every orifice - Popcorn kernel in her ear
- Polystyrene ball up her nose
- Coin in mouth and swallowed it
- Not going into detail of what she done with the other orifices.
Did not like wearing clothes and stripped the moment she got home from pre-school. It was exhausting. She's a lot older now and knows not to do these things.
for story 2 i can relate a bit to it as i have my own things that i tend to keep or forget to do things even at work, what i find helps is having a written list of things that need to be done somewhere in the house or maybe a few smaller ones for each room
10:08 This one is tricky. If he is struggling with co habitation and with minor hording, they need to find a councilor that has experience with autism. This is a normal thing for autism. Also patient on op is need. It is not easy thing but needed. It takes time to get into the grove with Nuro divergent people. I understand the frustration though.
*First Story:* Call. The. Police. Have your grandma arrested for both theft and breaking and entering, force her to give up any copies of the keys she has (and change your locks in case she tries to hide any of them and lie that she doesn't have any other copies. And then get a restraining order and go full no-contact with her. You need to make it 100% clear that she is not welcome in your life, and if she continues to try and invade and control your life that you can and will have her arrested and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. What she's doing is 100% not okay.
I don't care what her religion is, you are a grown adult with a family of your own, not a child. She has no right whatsoever to tell you how to live your own life, it's none of her damn business. All she's doing is trying to satisfy her own bloated narcissistic ego and need for total control of those around her, and any sane person would be quick to completely cut her out of their lives. She's nuts.
Story 1: Grandma is a narcissist. Move and do not tell her where you are going for your own privacy and security - jees louise. Stealing and making copies of your keys is not ok especially when you have said no to her having a copy. Plus stealing is wrong by canonical law. If she is that devout in her religion she would never have broken that rule. She's just a control freak and the further away from her, the better off you will be.
Story 2: Sounds like your fiance is pathologically demand avoidant as well as having an obsession to hoard. I understand completely where you are coming from as my 12 year old daughter is PDA as well and we have to constantly remind her where her dirty dishes go, where her rubbish goes, where her dirty clothes go etc. My partner is also a hoarder. With my partner sometimes I make things disappear when he's not around. I recently found a broken PC keyboard, no joke there. It went where it was meant to go. He always thinks he can fix these things but he seriously cannot.
Another example: His parents passed away a few years ago. He brought back with him some sentimental items which is fine, I have no problem with that - but he also brought home things like a vegetable steamer, mugs, plates - the list is endless of things that could have went to a different home. So about 2 years after having this stuff in our house, I took some things to the charity shop - not the sentimental goods - they have stayed, but other things like the plates etc. He has not even noticed. When it comes to cleaning, you need to help him with executive functioning skills - a watch with an app has been designed specifically for this purpose to help neurodivergent people manage their day to day living if that is a problem area - not all autistic people have that problem bear in mind. Also breaking tasks down is important as they literally do not understand the words sometimes - brain does not compute.
Look up YoSamdySam here on YT as she has mentioned it in one of her videos. As far as towels being in the middle of a floor, tell your partner you understand the need for organisation and have the towels in the bathroom so they are there and readily accessible for when he is going to wash. A place for everything and everything in its place has always been my motto in life and I get how frustrating it can be with neurodivergence, but there are things that can help. Good luck.
Story 3: Thank goodness you evicted her out your house. I would have called CPS as well. This woman does not sound like parent material and seriously needs parenting classes.
With the last story, the 4 year old is showing clear signs of sexual abuse. I hope to his they picked up on that and reported it to someone.
Story 1: if that were me, I would have immediately called the cops on Grandma, and pressed charges.
*Story 1:* It's crazy how entitled some parents and grandparents can be. It's even worse when they're religious.
Wow religionist much
@@OGMercatorwhen already crazy people find religion, they tend to get even crazier, it's hardly anything against religion
how can anyone be religious when the bible is against thy stealing, even the TEN commandments has a rule against it.
@@Charles-7exactly but only a few people like yourself ever points that out and acknowledges it’s not the faith but the people in the faith. The scripture even talks about causing God’s children to stumble is a big no no because you can turn them away from God by your actions. This is why it says in the scriptures in verse Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
@@Blankblankblankblankblankblank It's a lesson that have been lost on so many people.
I work with people with special needs. And that behavior with cleaning and laundry is typical with some of them. It may never change under normal circumstances. And then it'll revert back eventually.
Story 2: I have multiple Family members with Autism and am on the spectrum myself. Here is what you are facing and you best options
1) Hoarding Issue. This is Fixable. It will be hard. He will have difficulty understanding (on an emotional, not intellectual level) why he has to get rid of the junk, but if you have patience and make it clear that it is either you or the stuff, you should be able to get rid of it. After that, give him a specific area for his stuff. If that area is full, but he wants something else, he will have to toss something old to make room. Once it sinks in (and it may take months) you shouldn't have too much of a problem.
2) Employment. Most likely not a problem. It sounds like he is not working while in school. He sounds high functioning enough that he should be fine getting and keeping a job once he graduates. You can encourage him to get a little part time job (especially if he has never had a job before) to help him get emotionally ready, but this is probably the smallest issue.
3) Not picking up after himself as he goes about his day. This one will likely be the hardest to change. If he is like me some others I have known and work with, this may never change. It isn't a sign of disrespect. Our brains just don't work this way. To this day making the bed still makes no sense to me. There are a few work arounds that you might find acceptable. Here are your options:
A) Accept picking up after him. If it takes less than 5 minutes per day (and will likely take less once he is done with school and working full time), it might be worth that 5 extra minutes a day of picking up after a man who is otherwise a great guy. There are far worse quirks and flaws out there.
B) Have him do it all at ones, possibly with a check list if needed. This is what I do. My best example is how I cook. I never clean up as I cook. That just seems highly inefficient and a huge bother. I cook the food, serve it, then eat it with my family. Then afterwards, often an hour or two afterwards, I will go back and put away all of the ingredients and clean up the dishes I used.
Your fiancé may never be able to pick up after himself as he goes through out the day. What he will be able to do (probably) is to clean up everything he got out over the course of a day in one fell swoop. He may need a check list, but once you and he make that once and get him in the habit of doing it, it shouldn't be a problem anymore.
C) Break up with him. While I don't know the man in question, he sounds like he is a good guy. It sounds like the issues stem from autism and not disrespect. In my opinion, there can be work arounds to deal with quirks related to autism. The questions is if you can handle the work arounds. All of our brains work differently. If a couple can't reconcile their brain differences, then it is not going to work.
(Quick question at the end)Dude I’ve known I’m autistic for around a year or maybe two idk but I didn’t realise that some of what I do is common for people on the spectrum like the whole making the bed thing like why even bother if I’m going to have to unmake it to sleep or even to sit on my bed to watch tv it will unmake it anyway, and the cooking thing too is exactly right because even when I’m reminded to do it I just can’t be bothered to put the packets away as I do stuff because it just takes too much time to do and I want to keep an eye on my food lol. Quick question as I don’t have anyone else to ask as they may think I’m odd for it: I get really paranoid about loads of things like if I see anyone bigger than me that looks at me I instantly think they might try something or I like sitting or standing in corners so I can see the entrance and exit and everyone in there without having to move much and I’m just generally cautious of everyone and what they do or say like if someone compliments me I wonder if they have a different motive or not and I worry, is this common for autistic people or just me?
@@Thomas_the_better_one I can only speak from my personal experience, my experience with my family, and my experience working with autistic kids while I was in college, but I will answer the best that I can. One thing to remember is that autism really just a different way of thinking and processing information.
The answer to your questions is "probably not" and "no".
1) It is definitely not "just you". Such feelings are not particularly uncommon. If such feelings make life difficult, don't be afraid to talk to a psychologist about anxiety. it is a common feeling/condition. It can definitely make life hard at times, but there are treatments and coping methods available. I have family and friends with anxiety. For some, just knowing about it has helped them, others get counseling (don't be afraid to ask for it), and some have been given medication to help with the worst of the symptoms. That is between you and your doctor though.
2) They are unlikely to be related to autism though. Those on the Autism spectrum are actually more likely to be oblivious such things.
Hope this helps. I'm no expert, but sometimes you just want to talk to someone who can relate.
@@theethicalostrich1388 thanks actually it did help I didn’t really see it as anxiety and just saw it as normal and didn’t realise what it really was so thanks
My grandma, who is a traditional catholic, just said "we are not claiming those nutcases." Since a traditional catholic said so, maybe the local WBBC will claim them?
Story 3: Sharon is my little brother. He won't stay employed and begs for money constantly. I refuse to enable it and the people in Sharon's life are doing more damage by enabling the behavior. Also, I think that four year old might have been sexually abused. I hope those kids are okay...
Damn
It's like premeditated breaking and entering by stealing the keys and making copies. Sounds like a creepy stalker.
Problem with your response to Story #2. It depends on how neurodivergent he is. If he is someone that she believes is capable of changing their behavior, get his parents to pay for counseling/an organizing coach/a life coach.
As an autistic kid with similar issues, fuck no. I’ll figure it out on my own I’m not stupid enough that I need people to sign me up for counseling and this kid probably isn’t either
@@type1exterminator471 As an autistic adult, I realize that I don't have all of the answers and am still learning tips and tricks from others.
@@pennybast3953 good for you
And THATS why organized mythology is the absolute worse. Give those types any hint of power, and they will destroy everything
Which story was about “organized mythology “.
I hope you weren’t talking about the first story. That woman had mental problems, and what she did was against the Church. Just because a couple of people use religion as an excuse for bad behavior does not mean that the religion condones the bad behavior. These people would do what they want even with no religion to fall back on as an excuse.
@@blondiemom25 yes, it was the first story, and ALL those cukt members have mental problem.
For first story, me being daughter of an Orthodox priest and adopted by Anglican family (these people are toxic).... I feel that despite the different dominations. But my dad is kind man and my adoptive family didn't. My adoptive family always demonized me all time.
Second story: He has AUTISM. If she's unable or not willing to support him and work with his autism, then she shouldn't be in that relationship. She's the jerk! Urging him to "man up" is such a neurotypical bullshit view. They need to find solutions that work for both of them if their relationship is going to work. He needs some kind of system to keep on top of things, and he clearly needs her to support him in some ways. that should have been made clear at the start of the relationship. At the start of their relationship, either they didn't discuss his needs as an autistic person or she didn't understand what she was getting into. Her expectations are way too high and putting the blame on his parents for "enabling" him like his autism is just him being selfish and immature is just so ableist.
This! Like our brains literally are formed different, we can't just do everything the exact way that neurotypicals do it. We need a lot of our own experience to figure out what works
Really? Can see ur American with your entitled, victim minded mindset. My best friend is autistic, and he's the cleanest, neatest person I know, even more neat than me. No excuses for laziness.
Another thing to keep in mind is that it’s hard for autistic people to work jobs because it can be to much to handle sometimes
In any of these stories, its puzzling how anyone can think they can get away with being so bratty and entitled
THE TITLES CRAZY
Yikes. Grandma is on a mission
For the story about the husband with autism:
You're being way too harsh. Yes, he needs to learn to clean up after himself and such, but it's just the way you started almost berating him that bothers me. I have diagnosed autism, ADHD, depression, and anxiety. And sometimes I do have trouble keeping my place organized and clean because I simply forget to do it. I'm not so bad when living in a dorm where there are room checks and very limited space (I get claustrophobic when there's too much mess in a small shared space), at my house it's an entirely different story. I only recently was able to get in my room and clean it out. And yes, I am an adult. Theoretically I should 'know better' and not have an issue with something as small and easy as just picking up after myself. However that's just not how it works for people like me. We tend to have a very limited short term memory, like so limited that we could get distracted and forget a pot on the stove, or forget to eat, or forget to shower. We will literally forget just about anything in terms of housework/chores/self care. You shouldn't berate him, because that helps no one. Even though I know it's not my fault, I still beat myself up about these little habits which only triggers my depression and makes it even harder to get into a healthy routine. He needs to work on skills to help remind himself to do these things. He needs to work on developing routines so he has specific times that are set aside for him to do these things. He needs help, not belittlement.
Welp, that might explain why I keep forgetting to put drinks in the fridge after dinner when my mom tells me to
First story: it's stories like these that make me think DV needs to be more wide spread for certain people. This old lady needs respect between into her
The fuck is wrong with you lol.
Story 1. I'd never put up with that crap. Screw that creep
story 2: I feel like some therapy for hording might be in order. A different commenter put it all more eloquently than I ever could by using their own experience.
The first realy pissed me of its because it reminded me of my deranged grandmother. It's disgusting when I moved to study in university. My grandma demanded that i should come home and I should show her my apartment. I told her no and i also told her that I won't hesitate to call the police if she shows up. The Op's grandma is deranged and i feel bad that he had to endure that nuisance. For him i wish him the best for my and his grandmother rest in piss and burn in hell.
For the first story I never understood why the kid gets punished she didn’t ask to be born like wtf
1st story: Grandma sounds like Kathy Bates in Waterboy, Foozball is of the Debel
if anyone wants the game in the background its called death stranding. yw
Bro, I feel attacked in story number 2, this is describing me just in general
#2: Have you tried telling him that having an item and not even using it is even more wasteful than throwing stuff away?
Okayyy story 2: speaking as an autistic person myself I will say that it isn’t that he doesn’t care that she is exhausted or any of that, as I and almost every other autistic person aren’t able to understand social cues that something is wrong like for example I don’t realise when I’m annoying someone (adhd mixed with the autism enhances this a lot) until they actually tell me that I am and then I will try to rectify it and I’m sure this goes for others on the spectrum secondly the putting stuff in weird places is a thing I have been told about, my room looks messy but everything is where I know it is or where it should be like: that outfit I was going to wear but didn’t need to wear it because plans fell through? I know exactly where that is and I will wear it and it’s fine but others say it looks messy but everything is where it should be. However if you’ve even read to this point I would like to say that if OP tells him about this or even tells him to set alarms on his phone to remind him to do things stuff like: remember to clean up, it could be very beneficial to him and the relationship all in all he does need to clean messes and not hoard stuff but if he puts stuff where he knows where it is then OP should just leave him to it unless it bothers them so much that they need to talk about it but it doesn’t sound like it does it sounds like it is just the mess and hoarding
years ago i had a similar problem with my mother, she would always open any mail sent to me, which arrived whilst i was at work, her excuse was " i thought it was for your father" as our initials were the same, problem solved when i asked my friends to use my work address
To the second story, it probably has a lot to do with the fact that his brain just literally cannot see it until it gets really bad. And then whenever it does get really bad, it's so overwhelming with stimuli that it makes it hard to do anything. Sometimes things like setting alarms or creating chore charts or stuff like that as childish as it may sound can actually be really helpful. And it also may be worth seeing about getting a coach that deals with things like autism and ADHD specifically. And it is also worth you learning about nerodiversities as someone that is nerotypical so you have better understanding and can have more effective conversation. This is all from someone that has diagnosed ADHD and has been told many times are you sure you're not autistic to the point of I'm like 90% sure I probably am. Mostly because at the point that I was diagnosed with ADHD it was less common for people to also be diagnosed with autism and even less common for women to be diagnosed with both ADHD and autism. I am also a person that is a volunteer firefighter so I mask a lot. Which means that I hide my symptoms to be a more effective firefighter and whenever I get home it's so hard for me to do things because I'm exhausted both mentally and physically because all my energy went towards looking and acting "normal". And if he is also doing this, it can make it even harder for him to effectively keep things clean at home because he literally does not have the mental capacity for it. It is also extremely unfair to say that he doesn't care because he probably does care very much for this person, but because of his nurodiversity he just literally cannot tell that it is upsetting. That's why sometimes you've got to be really literal with people that have things like ADHD and autism. Sometimes we just cannot see what your emotion is. And if hes never really been taught from a young age, how to do things. Even with him being the way that he is. Then it makes even more sense that he is 24 and doesn't know how to do these things, and it can take a lot of time to get to the point where he knows how to do these things. But you've gotta be persistent with it, and you've got to figure out ways of making it rewarding to his brain because part of the hoarding is because those things feel rewarding.
Story 2: i feel like to some extent you're not fully understanding, it's completely valid to be annoyed and you need to put your mental health first and neruodivergantcy isnt an excuse but you cant say "he knows better" or "knows how to" when you clearly just describe that he doesnt, i am ADHD and in the process of Autism tesing/diagnosis and i collect shiny or soft things, i recommend sitting down and explaining that you're not mad *at him* but you're upset with the mess, calmly explain why its bothering you and how its effecting you, then the two of you try to come up with a plan to clean, however after that if he doesn't make an effort to change or fix it then talk about how if it (the mess) doesn't change then you'll possibly leave due to the stress
Christianity is about caring for others and no matter their background, showering them with love. This grandmother is not a Christian and that’s that
So many people like that will use religion as justification or an excuse to be an awful person.
@@QuickManEXEwhen in fact it’s an excuse not to be an awful person
All of you are blasphemous. she isn't using religion as a crutch.
She is just crazy and need help. Lots of it
As an autistic person who has a hard time taking care of myself/cleaning, maybe try a schedule kr phone reminders. I dont automatically think about the next step just the current task. After the task is done im done but cleaning its a separate task so putting it on a schedule will help. Collecting things is part kf some peoples autism, maybe they could donate so they arent wasting/throwing things away.
I don't even remember to eat/drink without reminders so maybe it's just a thing they can't do without reminders😅
I will play games and forget to do anything like: dad tells me to make sure to do my daily job( usually consists of doing the family dishwasher or doing the tumble dryer and washing machine stuff) and I will completely forget and sometimes even when I’m not playing games I will do this
My grandmother is still alive at 105 years old. She is a Catholic, meaner than a snake, racist, hateful, and has no empathy for others. But even she wouldn’t do something this vile.
More proof that the good die young or young-at-heart and the pricks live forever.
@@QuickManEXE Heaven doesn’t want her, and Hell is afraid she will take over.
Story 2: is a definite an undiagnosed hoarding issue that needs treatment!
Grandma needs to be arrested.
What is going on with Story 3’s home life? That was a roller coaster of wacky before it even got to the actual problem.
Atlas story, I would call DFS and animal control in that crazy mom. I mean the little girl with sticking things in her butt that’s not normal.
Story 1: as a Catholic myself, your grandma is insane
The question is why hadn’t the OP blocked the grandma after what she did, OP should have put the grandma in her place
That is extremely illegal to copy someone’s keys that is extremely illegal and that is literally breaking and entering multiple times multiple that is so illegal she could be put in jail for years literally so many illegal things that she has done and gone through everyone’s things that’s even more legal
14:50 uhhhhh, I think there may be a serious issue there, cause that? That ain’t normal.
story 1: Seriously time to get the courss involved.
Story 2 I would tell him he needs help. You are not his maid. And he needs help with the housework, and sorry I won't marry him.
Bruh he is autistic look at the beginning of story 2
So basically you're saying you wouldn't marry someone with autism because their brain literally is made different?
@@lovelysakurapetalsytwhich is fine. This is a perfectly fine deal breaker. If the less desirable actions are due to his autism then it is perfectly fine to go,”this wont work.”
*no one* including those with disabilities is entitled to a relationship. Those with disabilities need to realize that certain things that we have (yes i have multiple disabilities) will make us less desirable to certain people and *that is* fine.
@@lovelysakurapetalsytHaving autism isn't a good excuse. I'm autistic and I know how to be responsible.
story #2 is completely normal behavior for someone with autism, I'm 43 and have the same problem with cleaning and saving just about everything and I have autism and my apartment has stuff for 2 more apartments
I’d buddy up to her so she’d trust me more so I could do what I want🙃
Storytelller 1: your apartment sounds like a lot of fun d&d with anime, heck yeah!
I would call the police for the first one
for story two. i dont think its fair for that to be said about it. its not like hes doing it on purpose. thats how his parents raised him. just do whatever you want whenever you want and keep everything. they just need to talk. he is nuerodiverse. its not a being lazy thing. your brain is just literally different. it needs to be said in a way that makes sense to him, and work on solutions together. we all have our own things we are flawed in whether nuerodiverse or nuerotypical.
Why the original poster in that last one didn't call CPS and animal control is beyond me it really does sound like her kids and dog need to be taken away from her and she needs go live on the streets where she belongs.
Story 1: The Op had no control over how she came into the world. They were born just as innocent as any child born into any other walk of life. Her grandmother has every right to her religion, but it is not her right to force her views on others, and she literally broke the law to invade their privacy and lecture them, which she is already guilty of lecturing them about religion to death on a daily basis.
Why I Get A Feeling The Story One Has Another Part Like Entilted Grandmother Tried To Stop Or Force Me To Date Someone SHE Likes
Story 1: I don’t believe that the grandma is a true catholic if she’s committing crimes to make sure that the op is making the right catholic choices. What the grandma did goes along the lines of breaking and entering and is punishable by a maximum of 10 years in prison. What I’d do if I was in the op’s situation was file a police report and have the grandma serve time in jail because what she’s doing isn’t right
Edit: I made a mistake, it’s only breaking and entering if she had intent to steal. If she had no intention to steal it becomes criminal trespassing and is punishable by a max of 90 days in jail and a 1k fine if a misdemeanor. If it’s a gross misdemeanor it’s punishable by a max of 1 year in jail and a 5k fine.
the grandma is a former nun? :O
Yea
Story 2: set up a householdschedule, it might just work out. I feel like he needs some structure that needs to be in his system. The thing with autistic people is that they usually go well on routine and structure.
Call the police!
in story 2 the fiance kinda acts like my dad but 10x less worse
First ever mean granny
Day 140 of saying the same thing until I get pinned
Karen's getting destroyed is one of the best parts of my life
my grandmother is christian so glad that she isn't entitled or acting like an entitled grandmother.
she never forces region to others.
Just leaving him
Story 2: First, I wanna say that if narrator doesn't know what they're on about, they should shut up. It was stated at the start of the story that the partner is autistic, so the whole "they're 24 years old they shouldn't be doing this!" and the jab about "they probably have stuff they're dealing with but I dunno what" crap is unacceptable. Yes, autism is a spectrum and some of us are closer to neurologicals than others, but all we know Bout what this partner exhibits is what we were told and we know absolutelynothing about what the partner is actually thinking or feeling around the things that are upsetting OP. Being 24 doesn't matter, this is a neurological difference that can change the rate at which we develop certain attributes and that's just how that is.
Now for my comment on the story for OP; I'm on the spectrum too and I'm actually a pretty late diagnosis (I was diagnosed at 29), and a lot of what you said about your partner rings very familiar for me, particularly the organised mess and the trouble with remembering tasks or thinking about tasks I should be doing (the hoarding is definitely something I suffer from but luckily my favoured objects cost too much and I literally can't get them because of it). You were on the right track with your dorm room accommodations with your partner I think, they seemed to respond to that pretty well under those circumstances, so maybe you can try and find some way to sort of recreate the circumstances of having someone keep tabs so you don't get evicted or whatever was going on? But try not to be too aggressive when you bring it up, ask your partner for their input on what THEY think might help them. For the tasks; reminders. Flat out you and your partner need to set up reminders. I have 5 separate alarms set for myself every single day to remind me to certain things I need to do daily (namely take my medication), every single appointment or event that isn't part of my normal routine gets put on my phone calander with a minimum of three reminders on THAT (a week, a day, and an hour before) and things that are further off get more reminders put on them. I also go out of my way to ask people to remind me of things they want or need me to do, and again the time between needing their reminder and the action I need to take depends on how long between the request and the result is. I'll also ask people I live with to remind me and even nag to do things around the house that I need to do. Remembering to do tasks that we didn't plan for ourselves seems to be a very difficult thing across the spectrum, and remembering tasks we DID plan for ourselves can be hit and miss. The hoarding I really wish I could help on but it's something I struggle with myself and it's mostly through cost and physical space that I don't really have to keep on top of myself about it. I'm certain my mum was on the spectrum too, she also was a hoarder (also a proper enough one to be actually called a hoarder medically I think) and when I was living with her it was impossible to deal with and try to ask her deal with too, so I got nothing on that one. I hope I helped with the other bits though if you or anyone else that needs to see this does see it
Wow
Hoarding disorder. This is way beyond a conversation and will get much worse without mental health care
That's not hoarding. It's just a byproduct of autism that many with autism have. It's a legit thing, not about hoarding, but about keeping memories
Sick
On the story with the autistic boyfriend: you need to study up on Autism and see if this is something you can live with for the rest of your life. He has cues to help him remember simple thing that you are not necessarily happy with. He can correct behavior for a short while but will be easily distracted. He is not aggravating on purpose. His mind is wired differently than yours. If he is bothering you this much now, it will only get worse. You both have to find common ground and work from there. True love takes work all the time. Is he worth it or is it time to move on before becoming another statistic?
Story 2: Im annoyed with the break down of this one. Neurodivergent means his BRAIN WORKS DIFFERENTLY. "Acting like an adult" is really fucking hard for us. I get it if you don't know much about it or understand, but our brains sometimes jump tracks in the middle of doing something, so yes we might leave a mess without even realizing it. Or we won't clean up because most of us suffer from Rejection Sensitivity, SEVERE anxiety and reactions to being told we have done something wrong. We feel guilty as hell for these things! We know we do it and we struggle to figure out how to fix it!
So another words people shouldn't be dating neurodivergent people got it
I’m also neurodivergent. It’s not an excuse to not take care of yourself as an adult. I live alone, if I don’t clean it up, it doesn’t happen.
@@AnimeGamer501stNo, the OP really shouldn't be. OP was aware of these issues before, knew he was neurodivergent, but thought he'd be able to "fix it" by trying harder. That's just not how things work. Yes, they can get better at remembering to do certain things but it's still a struggle.
I grew up with my neurodivergent mom and brother so I regularly saw them struggle with specific things. My brother just assumes that the rules as written cannot be bent in any way. Trying to explain to him that just because the rules say "You cannot talk during quiet time" didn't mean that he couldn't speak up if he started feeling sick.
Having to explain things to them will keep happening, especially since (as the person above stated) getting called names for being different, people belittling you, dealing with not being able to understand what you did wrong, etc are all things most people who are neurodivergent struggle with. They will struggle with those things the rest of their lives.
I don't think OP is a jerk for being frustrated, because it IS frustrating, but it's also not something that they can just stop doing. OP should try to work with the boyfriend to help him remember to do certain things (for example chore lists. A chore list with clear expectations of what you want to be done and they'll do it every time.) Assuming they want to continue the relationship.
Relationships with people who are neurodivergent is hard, and it can be a struggle at times especially if you aren't yourself. They'll never "act like a grown-up" the way most people think of one. There are certain habits that they can't break, and if they're a deal breaker then it is what it is. Trying to force them to "act normally" will do nothing but make them miserable. Especially since they've dealt with people trying to "fix them" their whole lives.
@@DoctorOaks that's right.
I've got autism, really isn't an excuse tbh. It's harder sometimes, especially cleaning tasks but it doesn't mean you shouldn't try and take into consideration others that are also living with you..... they'd already been told exactly what they were doing wrong and what needs to be done and cleaning up after yourself doesn't really need to be explained. Also laundry bag just sounds like laziness, they know where their laundry goes but still proceed to throw it on the floor. Also just because they're neurodivergent doesn't mean their needs should be above those of their partners.
Wow
Edit: wait.... I just realised i am the first comment.
IT SAYS 10 SECONDS. ALL OTHER COMMENTS ARE OVER 10 SSCCONDS.
MY DREAM. MY DREAM.
I AM FIRST
No
I find he funny how op grandma call her the devil but isn't it frowned upon for nun to break her vow to God and have kids sounds like a hypocrite
My brother is a Catholic. It's difficult getting along with him when it comes to religion.
Look, Buddhism is not exactly a religion per sé. It's more of a philosophy.
I burn incense because of the sandalwood fragrance, it tells me how long to be in the state of "thought of no thought". Too long is over-indulgence and unproductive.
The "middle-way" is hard to achieve.
I am 19 an this sounds like my family except my dad didn't think I was his so at 5 months old my mom got me a DNA test
I swear this super religious people are the worst (not everyone, just people like this grandma). The grandma acted like she was doing the will of god, without realising she was breaking one of the 10 commandments. DO NOT STEAL.
or don't break into people's houses.
God*
I'm sorry, but your take on story 2 is somewhat ignorant. Someone who's on the spectrum can't just switch off their brain or change on a dime. They need lots of time, patience and understanding from their SO, and room for growth/error. If she sat down and talked with him and his parents, I'm sure some form of help can be extended.
Second story, i disagree
Im 19, autistic, and struggle daily to do everyday tasks like taking care of myself and my space. It mightve been bad parenting to let the fiance do what he wanted without being told what he could and couldnt have, yeah thats bad but otherwise everything else is just
normal autistic behaviors and you shouldnt hold it against him for not being able to recognize why this is an issue and why you need to Tell Him that its an issue
I think its to harsh on the person who's bf is autistic cause I can relate to him cause hoarding runs in my family and I am also autistic . You really just need to set him down and tell him the truth that there is to much clutter and we don't need all of it and just try and have him cut back like ask him ok what do you think we need to keep and what can go. It isn't to hard you just have to opraoch it in a more simple way that he can understand .
In dungeons and dragons board games there are Priests for MOST races for Heaven & Good version of God but most don't believe in God
Not happy with your response to story two, executive dysfunction is a symptom of autism.
why do I exist, who am I
Wanted 100,000$ reward
You are my slave and must wash my car.
This guy is 24 years old yea but he is also autistic ???? Does that not value anything
Story 2 was a waste of time and breath.
Is the person in the first story a guy or girl???
Story 2: Autistic memory hoarder here. I have the same issue with holding onto bits and bobs because of important memories associated with them. For me the best way to clean through it is to get a bunch of boxes, like 4 or 5 huge ones. Each mess goes into a box. Once the mess is up, sort the box contents based on where things are supposed to be and have an extra box for things to give to others. I find it easier to donate items than to toss them, then that item can go on to make new memories for someone else. It's less that he's being disrespectful and more that he's never had someone help him work around and with his Autism. It'll take time and patience and both need to learn how to work with this because autism never goes away. The wife especially needs to learn since any kids they have will most likely be autistic.
Thats why I love the Marie Kondo way
Gather the mess based on topics (clothes, Papers, pictures etc) and then take every Piece, think about it and when it doesn't give you future Joy you THANK the item for giving you Joy in the past (orother memories)
Story 2... you leave... your both adults and not his mother.. you get out of that situation asap..
Why don't you just put one topic per video?
18th or whatever
Story 2 I know he has autism but this is unacceptable
Story 2: I say run OP. I was married to a hoarder for almost 5 years. It was horrible.
nah she should talk to him first.
Bruh he’s autistic she signed up for it
Your weird he’s autistic, he needs help that’s all all I know from you is that you need help from those sentences and chose better people
Thats not a hosrder though I would say. But tjey should work out a routine
Autism doesn't work the same. If she is going to stay with him you need to just accept you have a grown child to take care of.
Autism isn't being a grown child. The husband literally just is trying to figure things out and can't because his wife isn't letting him even try
@@lovelysakurapetalsyt possible. I say this because I live with a 32 year old man who is mentally about 7 or 8. He has to have someone to guide him all the time.
First
Nope
No, last. "The last shall be first and the first last". Matthew 20:16
@@jackgammon4084 No like he's literally not even 2nd
Frist
Nope
:)
Nice