Living with bipolar. When I look it up I see 30 years, 10 years, etc. How do you just “catch” bipolar? Can you get it at the store? Can kids get it at school? No. It’s not contagious but it is infectious. I feel like mine, I’ve dealt with better before. I’ve never been happy. I’ve never been okay. I’ve always been afraid, alone, angry, anxious, and sad and I could never identify which one I was feeling because I was feeling them all at the same time. My control board would have had all of these emotions clinging tightly. Muscles tense. Jaw pressed. Fists clenched. Nails dug into my palms. I always wondered why I could never grow attachment. I would literally not say good morning and act differently. But truthfully I am a person of routine and it’s too much of a morning to make someone else a part of that. I guess I felt alone so much that I just became accustomed to it. After being diagnosed bipolar everything made sense. I tried medication. I decided I went long enough without medication to opt not to be on it. Taking the medication took away the loneliness, sadness, anger, and happiness. I was numb. What a strange feeling to be completely numb. Not feel anything.
Living with bipolar. When I look it up I see 30 years, 10 years, etc. How do you just “catch” bipolar? Can you get it at the store? Can kids get it at school? No. It’s not contagious but it is infectious.
I feel like mine, I’ve dealt with better before. I’ve never been happy. I’ve never been okay. I’ve always been afraid, alone, angry, anxious, and sad and I could never identify which one I was feeling because I was feeling them all at the same time. My control board would have had all of these emotions clinging tightly. Muscles tense. Jaw pressed. Fists clenched. Nails dug into my palms.
I always wondered why I could never grow attachment. I would literally not say good morning and act differently. But truthfully I am a person of routine and it’s too much of a morning to make someone else a part of that. I guess I felt alone so much that I just became accustomed to it.
After being diagnosed bipolar everything made sense. I tried medication. I decided I went long enough without medication to opt not to be on it. Taking the medication took away the loneliness, sadness, anger, and happiness. I was numb. What a strange feeling to be completely numb. Not feel anything.