My husband passed away a month ago. I live in a fairly isolated home in the woods and my adult children all live far away and have busy lives. I am feeling very alone. I have lots of things to go through and declutter because I know I will need to move. Waking up today and being led to (I think it was angels!) this informative, encouraging, and comforting video has given me hope. I am crying out of gratitude because you both put into words so many thoughts I have been carrying in my heart for a month. Thank you so much.
I'm sorry for your loss. If you are thinking of downsizing your home and you have a lot of things, it might be worth it to hire someone who specializes in estate sales or an auction house. You can start by asking realtors, your attorney, antique stores or senior centers for recommendations and see if there are online reviews for the organizations they recommend. If you have a smart phone or digital camera, you can take a video of a room and send it to your children and ask if there is anything they want. As you declutter, you can send texts or emails and they can respond with sell, toss or donate. You can also capture sentimental memories, such as "remember this?" while you share one last memory and keep it forever digitally (if you want). This way you are decluttering with your children but they not spending a lot of time decluttering. Many groups like Goodwill, Habitat for Humanity, the Salvation Army, Vietnam Vets for America or local groups in your area will send trucks for donations for furniture or big donations. Check their website for what they will accept. People in those organizations may also have ideas of other places in your area to donate. Hope this helps. I was checking the comments on Dawn's video on how to donate inherited items and people seem to have had a lot if success with estate sales. You are not alone. If you have any questions, ask. Maybe other people have ideas and solutions that have worked for them.
If you want to stay, can it work out somehow? If you want to move, do what Marie Kondo says to do first, and imagine the life you now next would like, and proceed accordingly.
Hugs & I'm sorry about your husband. I'm sad when I think about my mom's days alone right after dad died. 🙁 I regret that, now. I kinda thought she needed space... I hope you're doing okay with the stuff and what's next. Dawn from the Minimal Mom & others have some vids that have really helped my perspective about loved ones things and grief.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Remember the world's longest journey starts with a single footstep. Any progress, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction!
When my Mom passed away the urge to keep everything of hers was strong but I made myself keep only three things that meant something dear to me. I kept her sewing machine, her thimble and the hoodie she wore everyday to help me feed the horses on the farm. These three things remind me deeply of the things she loved and did with me. And when I use them, I smile and feel her presence.
@@tracysullivan6450 take time now to go through her possessions with her and ask her the story behind each, you get a bonding benefit and more stories to remember her by, and she might be willing to donate and pass things along to someone who can use them, and your mother may outlive us all. Blessings to you both
That is so sweet. When my grandmother passed my aunt, uncle and mom didn't fuss over material things. I commend them for that. And it made me so sad when they invited me to the house to pick things, that you end up gone and it just ends up being things in a house. That house was special because the love my Granny and Papa had. 💜💜
i love that. there are a few choices items of my brother's that i keep and use, and sometimes they make me cry deeply and sometimes they make me smile at how free spirited he was. bc it's only a few items and they're small, it makes me feel like i can hold on to them freely. he did away with his things before he died so i feel lucky to have those few things still
The best thing my dad did for us was to leave us practically no physical possessions. He had half of a standard 5 foot closet with a few clothes and a sleeping bag. He had a bed a tiny fridge and a computer and some family photos. That’s it. It was such a blessing that we didn’t have to go through tons of crap. I have been actively decluttering for the past three years and I’ve also stopped spending money unless I absolutely need it. It’s definitely a process and I’m not a minimalist but I’m so much happier with less stuff!
When I downsized, I knew I had to purge most of my stuff. Family “heirlooms” I decided were not MY memories, they were my parents treasures. 2nd, I thought of how happy someone would be to score some of these items in a thrift store. I let them go and felt a huge relief-freedom from the stuff! It’s been 2 years and I haven’t missed any of it.
I'm thankful that I am Scottish and live in Scotland we talk to everyone, we never pass by, strangers are friends we've yet to meet. I know when the worst things happen I have a community, friends, neighbours, my church family who will be there, and have been when I've struggled. I am so really blessed xxxxxxxxxxx
People in Australia are selfish arseholes who care only about themselves. Their neighbour could be suicidal and they are too lazy to ask how they are or offer any help. If their husband is bashing his wife & kids they ignore them. Pathetic, they have never heard of the word "community " & are too self absorbed to care anyway.
Dawn didn't you just want to ball when he thanked you at the end? I got tears in my eyes! I just love you and your Sister's channels-doing such an awesome job!!
Kelly! YES! I didn't hear it when I was there, I think because it was a fairly overwhelming experience...so when I went to edit this and got to the end and heard it, I was completely caught off guard!...I think I've tried to keep my head down and fight the good fight, so to hear such a kind compliment from someone that I respect really means so much!
I agree. His words were very kind AND true. Dawn really does help with, "What do I do next now that I know I want to get rid of my stuff? " I've been decluttering for the past several years and I still learn new things all of the time.
My dad passed away 5 years ago and my mom passed away almost 3 years ago. I so wanted to keep everything and never let it go. One day, I realized that no matter how many things I have that belonged to them, they weren't coming back. And having these things couldn't change that. I have been letting things go and keeping a shelf in my room of the most special things from my childhood and from them that have the most memories. I know that my parents, who loved me so well, would never want me to be burdened with 'stuff' because of guilt or sadness. That makes it a little easier.
What I love about the Marie Kondo approach is that there isn’t judgement about what you decide to keep and treasure. I have got rid of a lot of stuff but I’m keeping all my child’s drawings because they have what’s most precious for me.
“Grief can only be done in community”. Wow. That resonated big time here. I’m an only child whose parents lived a 4 day drive away. When my dad died in 2020, it was left to me and my husband to clean out their house and liquidate everything in 10 weeks. And let me tell you, my parents were NOT minimalists. So many people helped. Friends, family, loved ones. Not only did we sell everything I didn’t want to keep, but we also sold the house. I will always be grateful for that help!
My mom is in assisted living and I am an only child. I had a panic attack dealing with her stuff. This makes me cry. I also suffer from anxiety and I feel alone dealing with my grief. This makes total sense. I am now obsessed with organizing and letting things go. Thank you for this-💗
It is hard if you are an only child. On the other hand, YOU can make all the relevant decisions and do not have to wait or argue with a sibling what to do, what to keep and you can move at your own pace. :)
The memory of the person becomes transferred to the stuff! that's good! It can help us understand the "stuff" is NOT the person & the memories won't disappear if we give the stuff away
The neighbor issue is SO TRUE! I live in a townhouse and "most" of us at the very least speak to each other. But there were neighbors on the end unit who would not even so much as speak or wave if we walked by (even if we did). Then we had a building issue and all of a sudden they were wanting to communicate. OK this was an issue concerning the whole building. BUT as soon as that issue got resolved there was no more communication, waving, etc. I remember telling someone then that these are the kind of people who will come to you when THEY need something but forget it otherwise. I said that I almost feel sorry for them when a really bad catastrophe hits! They will suddenly want to be everyone's best friend.
All four of our parents are now gone and more than one U-Haul is needed! We moved from Illinois to South Dakota to take over the family farm. At that point we had 3 parents still. A year ago my MIL passed away leaving us with with a house’full’ of stuff. One dumpster and one container later….it does overwhelm me because we have to go through that container again! And possibly again! I have been gone a lot this summer because we now have 3 grand babies instead of one. Glorious! But while I was gone, weeds grew and they grew tall and they are everywhere. It kind of reflects in my soul areas of my house where there are ‘weeds’ I have allowed to stay. I have to get rid of them! I do feel anxious coming home (and maybe a bit crabby 😮). Times are changing! Get pulling those weeds out at the roots!
True story today: agoraphobic since covid; not leaving my home in 10 months. Today condo above mine burst pipes and now I am staying in a hotel for 4-6 weeks. The three Restoration company employees who came to help were the absolute best!! Never would have been able to leave without them. Major reminder to reach out and make new friends.
Yep! No man can live on bread alone. I keep getting the similar reminders to not be a total hermit. I'm so glad you're safe and sound, with good repair resources! Be blessed everybody!
This was Profoundly Awesome! Thank You Sooooo Very Much! My previous career was 25 years of supporting people with Decluttering, Personal Organization and Feng Shui to Support Clarity and Peacefulness as well as Prosperity and Success thru the process of Releasing Stuff! This video was so beautiful to Witness! Thank You So Much!
@3:55 - As someone with ADHD, I just *have* to say… Perhaps what he meant to say was: the recent apparent rise in *recognizing* and *diagnosing* ADHD ~in adulthood~ can be directly linked to *adulthood* pressures and expectations being piled upon us in unmanageable numbers - more often than not, resulting in glaringly obvious overwhelmingly chaotic living / working environments - finally bringing to light our *lifelong* struggles, which are due to our *internal make up and wiring* conflicting with society’s expectations. Perhaps.
Thank you for this excellent explanation. I’m autistic with adhd & had to turn this off when he said “the rise in ADHD can be directly linked to chaotic environments.” I’d love to read the research he’s basing that on because I haven’t come across it. All peer-backed research I’ve read indicates ADHD is genetic but that chaotic environments can exacerbate symptoms of adhd. I’d agree with that & find living simply does help make adhd more manageable. But he made it sound like clutter causes adhd 🙄
@@Darkbillhook - Exactly!! I haven’t gone back to watch the rest yet myself. I adore Dawn, and I will give this a chance some other time - but seriously - though he mentioned “research,” I feel it was quite ignorant and dismissive of him to toss that statement out as he did.
You’re so right to point this out. It kind of sounded like he was saying clutter is causing ADHD but those of us who have it know that we live on the edge of overwhelm and this is one of the things that can tip us over that edge.
So happy this is airing now. Two of the most respected, approachable people on this key topic speaking with each other. We are so fortunate this has taken place! Edit to add: I commented first, and now that I have watched it all, I hear the truly important takeaway of "who in my life can I count on, and how do I strive to create a community" - given our current world with natural barriers (COVID among others), it strikes me strongly how online alliances truly do matter. Both of you foster that, and you do make every day a better day!
The parts of the discussion on grief..... eye opening. How many times have we dealt with grief over something or someone, and did it alone. And that's when the anxiety, stress, self medication in some manner sets in, creating destructive habits in order to cope. So good!
Also when someone offers to help you let them. So many times I offer to help and people say no. People wouldn't offer if they didn't mean it. My neighbor kept trying to pay me back in some way and I told her not to pay me back so I can get the brownie points in heaven:)
Hoarding and bereavement are closely linked. If you go watch the hoarder docu series it's remarkable how many of them started doing it after a loved one died. It makes a lot of sense too and really makes you empathize with the situation.
Hey Dawn, I'm 26 almost 27. You are everything I want to be as a woman still growing up trying to figure it all out. You are so humble and intelligent and insightful. I admire you in a lot of ways.
I sent this to my mom. Her mom passed away 3 yrs ago. She’s still dealing with the estate and clutter and all her stuff. Plus her own household, that is cluttered. It’s been to long. To much has been saved, just to sit in a box for yrs. I don’t know how to approach it without blurting out, you can’t have everything. You’re overwhelmed and stressed because of all this junk.. she has a 3 bed house, and can’t get into 2 rooms, and hers isn’t far behind.
Oh my lord, I literally clapped halfway through this and balled my eyes out when he gave us permission to not be attached and to build community over and over again. My son is going through so much since at 19 he doesn’t know what to do next and his friends are going their own way and he feels lonely and, and , and… it’s been so much for him and all I can do is give him anecdotes from my own life. I’ve had people come and go. We can’t hang on , just look forward and build a new future. I’be been on a decluttering journey for 18 months after I had 3 people who were dear to me passed on. I’ve made progress, but I feel the environment for my children is still too chaotic. Which I’m sure adds to my 19 yo’s anxiety. This made so much sense to me! And yes Dawn, thank you for your smile and for bringing joy into our lives ❤️
I literally just inherited my mom's entire estate, and she very rarely threw anything away in the last 30 years. The intro of this already has me in tears.
I was an addict (substance abuse). There is a definite correlation here with hoarding. In the thros of addiction, I became obsessed with the acquisition of stuff. Rather than deal with the emptiness within, I took to filling what I defined as the emptiness without. Crazy, yes, but I was in "The Madness " as it were. No-one at that time would've said I had a lack of abundance with all that stuff, but I knew I had an abundance of lack ie what was important. Now a few years clean, I am living fairly minimalist. I don't limit myself to thinking that abundance only means money and acquiring stuff,there is also to be had an abundance of peace, joy, and love ❤️. If you're having a hard time repeat this mantra, "I Am What I Am, and that is enough". Be lucky. I do enjoy your vid's. Wonderful.☺️ Peace joy and love to all ❤❤ and then some.
As a disabled senior I don't have any of the three pillars that were mentioned. That is reality for so many of us. There are no opportunities to create community as we live in isolation.
Debra, that is so rough...I'm sending you a big hug right now. Is there a good church you can connect with? Especially one that does Stephen Ministry, or something like that, and would come alongside you. I'm saying a prayer for you right now.
OH man. This really spoke to me. I tried to hang onto to so much stuff in the years after my mother died. We got rid of some things but there was so much that felt too personal to let go. My room looked like a hoarder's room. It wasn't healthy. I didn't realize how it was weighing on me until we moved to another town and I was forced to decide to keep a small percentage of things. My mental health improved so much after that.
Great interview! Love you guys. Congrats to both. Towards the end Dr. Delony made me get all teared up when he said "kids don't want toys, they want YOU and you're FREE!" WOW.. I felt that one. XOXO - Lety from Chicago
I’ve made it only five minutes in…minute two I hit pause, filled five bags of Mom’s treasures to donate…minute 4, hit pause again…three more bags in the car. Mom died 2020… I’ve been purging for two years now and purge fatigue is real! I c-a-n-n-o-t keep it just because she loved it and yet I do not. FREEDOM!
Omg Dawn! I didn’t think this could be better than the interview with Rachel Cruze, but it was! Come on now, have you become a new Dave Ramsey personality? I couldn’t love these interviews more, this was the BEST!
I pass Ramsey solutions in Nashville often and always tell myself, “I’m gonna stop there one day” but never take the opportunity to do so. And by the end of year I’ll be able to stop and say “I’m debt free!” Freeing.
Recently moved and took three hundred boxes and one hundred bags...We both poorly and so overwhelmed...Friends are doing tip runs for us and charity shops have stopped taking things at the moment...We cannot settle in with all this around us...
This hit home!! With motherhood came isolation and anxiety for me. To top it off I am homeschooling my kiddos. It’s been a hard season with littles. I getting the hang of it, but after hearing this I realize my desires for a community are not a want but a need. Can’t wait to read this book. Thank you Dawn for all the tips and knowledge you have shared over the years. I know decluttering has helped my anxiety in so many ways.
Are there other like-minded homeschooling families in your area? Maybe there are homeschooling groups? If you don't already participate in one, it might be a good place to start.
Yes I am trying to plug in to a few. Thankfully a few close friends started homeschooling this year so I’m hoping that will be a lm opportunity to have community.
When I saw Dawn sitting in front of the microphone I thought wow, this girl’s cone a long way. I don’t know who she’s speaking with, but it’s still a ‘show’. Good for you, Dawn. You are a true entrepreneur.
Oh man. I understand the lady you were speaking of. My mom passed in December of 2021 and my dad and my siblings and I are tasked with clearing out my mom's basement. It will be an undertaking. I'm so glad that I have built my decluttering muscles up before going into this task, because I know it will be hard. Emotionally and physically. Not only was my mom a "collector of fine wares," but she had also kept many, many things when my grandma had passed away. I look at it this way. It will be hard, BUT, it is one last thing I can do for my sweet Mamma that she just couldn't mentally or physically do.
'One last thing I can do for my sweet Mamma' That brings tears. 30 years and I'm still have a few items I need to let go of. Thank you. It's easier getting rid of my mess so my children won't have to deal with it.
@@elizabethl4722 Your children will thank you for not saving all of the things. Its makes the grieving process so much harder being confronted also with so much stuff to manage.
I removed our bedframe the other day, so that my toddler and her baby sister could enter and leave the bed on their one. And they love it! Now they play (safely!) on our big mattress every day together 😁 It is really the simple stuff that brings the most happiness!
This is really great! What I liked the most is that John complimented Dawn in her role - she's bringing simple, practical ways to the world to declutter. I am interested in reading his book as well. Thank you Dawn!
As soon as he was complimenting her on how she has positively affected people, I thought "they better cut filming quickly bc girlfriend will cry". I love, love, love that about her...that she has such a tender and caring heart! ❤️
Dawn you are very blessed ! I'm amazed at your success! You have poured yourself into helping us and seeing you with different Ramsey personalities makes me feel blessed to be one of your subscribers! Love from Tucson AZ
I can’t begin to tell you how much this video hit home! Every time I look at the two years of pantry stock, storage area, etc. I think, “ food is not going to be available, there is going to be no water, no things to buy, our future is going to be in jeopardy!”. I don’t feel safe!!! Thank you! I got the book on audible, am looking forward to hearing it, and know…I am safe….
Boy, this came at the right time for me. I'm still grieving my husband (after 4 years) and still have some of his things to deal with (plus stuff from my parents who passed away years ago) and my Granddaughter, a young teen lives with me (along with my son and her younger sister). She's struggling with anxiety because of her situation with her Mom (sense of safety and anxiety from reliving the chaos). I think Dr. Delony's book may help the both of us. She's right with me recently talking about which rooms to tackle and getting rid of stuff, so again, something guided me to watch this video this morning! Thanks Dawn and Dr. Delony.
Strange as it may seem, a friend of mine actually DOES have a tent and other “camping” stuff she keeps in her car in case she becomes homeless. She often speaks of stockpiling food. She said she “kept everything” because she might need it. The way John describes that scenario, is very much her mindset. I didn’t realize the three pillars he speaks of existed. She does not actually have family that could help her, but does have friends. She has been lately able to make some changes and she moved into a smaller place and get rid of quite a bit of stuff. But now I am understanding her way of thinking. Very interesting.
My husband was a collector (we are a second marriage and married at mid-life. I saw that his one bedroom appt. was cluttered and had piles here and there but I looked at it and saw camping gear, fishing gear and where do you put that in a one-bedroom apartment? A year of so later we move to a rural country home with a large pole barn...ALL he cared about was that pole barn - a red flag and I missed it. Then I found out why. He had farmed out a ton of his belongings at his friend's homes and barn.Then he slowly began to pick everything up and bring it back to our home...he had neglected to tell me he had all those things. I was shocked to see multiple work benches, 21 rifles/guns enough ammo for four people, 21 fishing poles etc. Then he spent the next 20 years going to barn sales, flea markets and collecting more even though we discussed this and agree that if something comes in then something has to go to make room for it. he was buying and hiding it from me. And he spent the next 20 years all of his free time in the pole barn fondling and unpacking, looking at his stuff. One day I realize we could have taken a vacation on the money he spent on those items, we could have spent quality time together, and with that time we could have taken dance classes or whatever we choose to do. Honestly, I resented that loss. All of this stuff gave me a lot of anxiety because my older brother and my youngest son were our executers and I worried about what happened if wee died in an accident and my two sons and my brother were left to deal with all of this stuff? I saw that as so not fair and a terrible burden to leave them with. Or, if my husband died first, I would be left with everything to deal with on top of a house full of furniture, determining where I was going to live, and all the paperwork etc. Just the idea alone was overwhelming.
So true! Once we decluttered the majority I was able to get our finances in control, our home in control along with small remodeling projects even fix things that i was blinded too. I felt paralyzed!!
I told my adult daughter that when I die, don't keep all my crap - like most people. Just keep a Few Things that remind you of me and sell/ throw away everything else. (A pastor once told me "You can't take your things to heaven with you when you die, don't leave Your things a burden to your family". ) 🥰🎯👍.
I love minimal mom! Dawn had saved my life. I just found her a couple of months ago and I cannot express how much my quality of life has improved since I began decorating my home. I'm far from don't but even the little bit I have done is so helpful and had made my home more peaceful.
My mother died in 2020. I'd taken care of her for the six months after her diagnosis, and afterwards, I stayed in her house, exhausted and grieving and overwhelmed. She was a hoarder and the family repository for all the things. My grandmother's stuff in top of her own. At first it was easy, because it was truckloads (literally) of garbage, recycle, or donation. It's been harder once it got to the nice things and the sentimental things, all needing decisions. It's taken two years, and some of what I gave away I could have sold for good money, but I didn't have the bandwidth. It has consumed my life entirely. I'm currently waiting for another donation pickup, but I'm almost done. What I know for sure is I will never do that to my daughter. And yes, I've had amazing friends helping me, or I would have given up a long time ago.
This is so true Dawn. I have decluttered many rooms in my house thanks to your videos. I feel so calm walking into an uncluttered room. But I hadn't realised I feel the opposite ie stressed, walking into a cluttered room
Dawn, so awesome!!! Two of my favorite people!! Bridging the process of decluttering to mental health is as key as bridging it to financial stability... so so awesome. God is using you to bring healing to so many people through your content! Bless you!
Dr John is absolutely right. Community is everything. I was born and raised in the country, and back there we talk to everyone, know everyone and help each other out. Sure, there's gossip and a diminute sense of privacy, but you know you belong. I live in a gigantic city now and it took me 2 years to get my neighbor to have a 10min conversation with me. People here mind their own businesses and you'll probably die alone if something happens to you at home.
I decluttered my home over 18 months and then my parents died and left me with delightful treasures 😱 I can not tell you how grateful I am that I know because of my previous experience that I can declutter and make hard decisions. 😰 I just have to do it all again with a stronger choosing muscle 💪🏻
Awesome! Great interview! I am 63, my two daughters watch you as well! We are always referring to “the minimal mom”! You have encouraged us & made an everyday difference in our lives! And what a genuine, kind spirit you have!!! Thank you!
This was an awesome interview! I could have listened to y’all for hours. Dawn, I am so glad I have found you on TH-cam. I have been learning so many things and I just want to thank you for for taking your time to help all of us struggling♥️ You are such a blessing!
Thoughtful and thought-provoking. I just finished a week of having an old friend visit from out of state, specifically to help me with a museum display project. A lot of what we accomplished I could have done by myself, yet I never got around to it. The presence of another enthusiastic person energized both of us to get work done in a jovial and productive way. Community does matter. Now, about my cluttered home office...
Thank you to both of you. About 2 weeks ago I was looking around my house and in my mind thought I just can’t do this anymore this is too much. There were toys and clutter everywhere in our home. For a long time I’ve felt this way but the past few months I’ve felt more and more the panic feeling of overwhelm and like I just can’t handle the demands of life. I’ve struggled with anxiety since I was a child because my childhood was chaotic most of the time or very unstable environment. God has been helping me to overcome this anxiety and one way is by decluttering. When I had that thought 2 weeks ago seriously just a few min after a podcast notification popped up about you with Chrystal Evans Hurst. It was right when I needed it I was blown away. God is awesome. I’ve since then began a journey of trying to become a minimalist. Very much a beginner right now and still have feelings of doubt but your channel has brought so much encouragement to me. It motivates me that I can change and I can do this. And that I can make our home peaceful as well as my whole life. It is not a coincidence at all that I found you and then led to these videos with John Delony. It has been life changing for me and I want to say thank you for that, to both of you.
Oh My!!! What a great video!!! So many great points! I see myself in this too much! I ended up with my Mom's items, then my Dad's items, then my Aunt's items and now.... a basement FULL of their things, that I just don't know what to do with, because every single piece, has a piece of THEM in it! Oh G'Ness!!! But... THEY aren't in those things! So the ending... he thanked you.... but we thank him too! You are both so helpful!!!
I'm truly moved by this interaction. I feel empowered to find my neighbors, know my people, and to be that for someone else. My love language is acts of service and I am confident that God gave me a marsallow heart so I can provide acts for others. A wonderful episode.
I am a Senior. I moved 4 years ago. I lived through my Dads death and tearing my Achilles heal which took 6 months to heal, miserable movers from hell, and leaving one of my animals behind because i couldn't capture him to put him in carrier and more. I couldnt unpack stuff. I took too much with me. I had to downsize 5 times only to have no drawers anywhere in two room apartment. So everything you have said i went through. It was horrid. Im still standing though. I was afraid of getting evicted. My BFF paid to get place worked on. Its 1 year later and i have a homemaker. I am not feeling desperate any longer. I lived through hell and i can breathe and smile and be grateful.
I understand , Jane. I lost my mom in December of 2021 and it's still just hard some days. I know she is with Jesus, but I miss her everyday. She was truly a unique and wonderful person.
@@bshows14 Thank you. I guess it’s just hard to lose your Mom. Time marches on but it seems part of my heart went with her. As Christians I’m thankful for the promise of heaven to meet again. ♥️
@@janemichael9433 I had a lady explain it this way when referencing losing your mother. She said, " it feels like an invisible umbilical cord has been cut when you lose your mom." I have never heard it explained so accurately. No one loves you so unconditionally like a mother does. It is heartbreaking to lose that.
Dude!!!! Minimal mom goes on Rachel Cruze and Now the Ramsey Show with John Delony. I thought my birthday couldn’t get better! Love you all!!! You’re the Best minimal mom!
I didn't expect for the interview to be in there!!!! We came in through a back hallway and I walked in and he was sitting there and I was like "oh crap, we're doing it in here!?!?!" It took me a few minutes to gain my composure, lol!!!
Dawn I'm so excited for you! 💗 This has been full circle for me in my debt free journey. I started watching Dave Ramsey back in 2017 then the "Minimalist" was on the show, from them I came across your channel and now here you are. I finally credit card debt free working on babysit 4 and you are on the Dave Ramsey show my heart is full.
I’ve dealt with so much loss in my life, with the brunt of it since 2007. I was born in 1970 and have two younger brothers 4 and 8 years younger than me. They both passed during this period of time, each in their 33rd year of life. My dad died. My grandmother who I was very close with died. My mom died this past October. There have been plenty of other losses before these, so attaching personhood to stuff is something I’ve always struggled with. I have a storage unit right now with all my mom’s stuff in it
Love the comments from Dr John about knowing your neighbours. Such a great reminder! Also knowing your neighbours, as maybe they will be the ones needing the help!
Wow, a lightbult when he talked about why we go 'back' to relive the glory days....we haven't made the same kind or depth or regularity of connection in our world today. Light bulb moment. I need to get this book. TY.
My room is beyond help. I climb through piles to get into a small space in my bed. When I do get rid of a few things I get nervous if I'm giving it away to the right person. When... Honestly it just needs to be thrown away.
I got rid of everything my mom owned when she passed after the funeral. I had a friend come over and help me get rid of EVERYTHING. Oddly it’s the only thing that helped me grieve. It was like saying bye to every part of her. I then made of list of things she wanted, like home improvements or hopes she had for me, and I started doing it. I went back to school, renovating the house, caring for my dad..etc. I feel great and just tackle another thing on the list when if it’s a rough day of missing her.
That was fantastic! And OMG, I totally love what he said at the end. It's all true, you DO bring joy, even when things are hard. And you have a smile and genuine love for others that just melts my heart. ❤
Dawn, thank you! This was so good. You, Tom, Diana, Cass and Kim from the "Wads" all inspire me. I've been feeling down, frustrated, aggravated and unsure how on earth I will accomplish all the things. You all have helped me to feel better. May God bless you all.
I realize how important it is to be in the community, to have a community. But when it comes to actions, it is so hard for me as an introvert to even say “hi”😨. So it’s a constant work on building Network and relationships that will last.👯♀️ But as soon as you find the right people, this is the biggest treasure😊
Well Hi! I hear you. For me the struggle is not having the energy to keep up with so many people. But I am wondering if I search too much for that friendship one had as a child and even teen. That close friendship attaching you to each others hip. Life becomes complicated with responsibilities, children, trauma's etc. I guess no one has time as adults to build the deep bonds we had as kids.
I am an extrovert but it's very hard for me too. My best friends don't live in the same town as me. Luckily I have gotten to know a couple neighbors well enough if something happened, I could call. It would be very awkward, but they would help and I feel like I have conveyed I would do the same. It's definetly hard to learn to be friends as an adult with responsibilities. The 3 pillars are HARD even though I know I need them and my family needs them.
Seriously, I wish someone had told “grief can only be done in community” a few years ago. This interview was so good on so many levels. It definitely explains so much about my struggles to focus and be productive in my cluttered home. I have decluttered, but it might be time for the next level of it. Thank you again for all you do! You truly are an inspiration!
My environment being cluttered definitely triggers anxiety. My house growing up was cluttered and chaotic, matching the energy and interactions we had inside the house. It felt like the walls were caving in in so many ways. I remember spending hours cleaning the house to surprise my parents, and it still didn't result in the attention and love and calm that I hoped it would. Now when my own house feels out of control with clutter, that feeling of "I'm not safe" comes up again. It's taken me a while to make that connection.
Love this! We all need to have people we can count on and feel like we're part of a community. It's so true that our kids and grandkids just want to spend time with us. One of my grandson's favorite things to do is play ball with his grandpa on the stairs. My grandson also loves Lego but I think part of why he likes it is because he builds sets with his dad, or with me, or with his aunt or uncle. It's a time to connect.
Amazing discussion with plenty of 'practical' tips, I loved the vibe and energy you guys were sharing, so inspiring!! Sending you big hugs all the way from France ❤️
Great job Dawn! You and Dr. D covered several big topics in a short time. The relationship advice about friends and finding new ones really resonated, especially as life changes as we get older. Thank you!
Dawn you and your sister are such a blessing, I’m sure when God looks down at your respective ministries he is smiling. I feel in my opinion that putting to much attachment on possessions is what in the Bible says do not store up earthly treasures which are temporary, but set your goals on things above. We come into this world with nothing and we will leave with nothing.
I thoroughly enjoyed this video. Do you have a video that speaks more about decluttering and grief? I see so many new members in a decluttering group on Facebook that have joined due to inheriting a lifetime of stuff from a loved one. Thank you so much!
Passing this along to you that this video was part of The Minimal Mom channel and John Delony was her guest. If you look at the other videos on her channel she goes into more details about clutter, emotions, grief, etc. Hope that helps.
Very eye opening to tie anxiety and grief to clutter and hanging onto things . Im getting your book.. I think it will help me a lot. Lost my daughter and a very close cousin.. haunted and holding onto things because I desperately want to not have their memories fade. A final loss sometimes too much for me to deal with. Thank you
Thank you. I love playing your videos and just listening to them even when I’m not decluttering, it help build up beliefs for when I do, and also think more of what I bring into my house. I moved almost two years ago and used to have loads of stuff, cleared a big amount and then I got some other things as time passed….but I have to say, it gave me a great lesson, when I had the least amount of things, it was so easy to keep on top of them, I was always nicely dressed up and my house was clean and tidying took 30 min tops….now as things slowly got back I’m realising how life was much easier and this makes it easier to get rid of the things no longer serving me (although I’m still having some trouble with clothes as my weight has varied quite a bit in the last few years) thank you for the work you put into this 🙏🏼
Katie here. This book will go on my reading list. I'm almost done a book called "Changes that Heal" by Dr. Henry Cloud. I HIGHLY recommend it. It's goes along with this video - how to grow, mature, take ownership of our lives and build healthy relationships. This is so important to learn in today's world where love has grown cold. Thanks for the love you share through your channel. You've changed our family for the better and we thank God for you!
I'd add beautiful stuff to useful stuff for those of us whose souls are fed with beauty around us.I have no knick knacks or decor, but I have art--a minimal amount. Those pieces are soul essentials for me. Thanks for this great interview. Not familiar with Delony but now I'm listening to the book!
My husband passed away a month ago. I live in a fairly isolated home in the woods and my adult children all live far away and have busy lives. I am feeling very alone. I have lots of things to go through and declutter because I know I will need to move. Waking up today and being led to (I think it was angels!) this informative, encouraging, and comforting video has given me hope. I am crying out of gratitude because you both put into words so many thoughts I have been carrying in my heart for a month. Thank you so much.
I'm sorry for your loss. If you are thinking of downsizing your home and you have a lot of things, it might be worth it to hire someone who specializes in estate sales or an auction house. You can start by asking realtors, your attorney, antique stores or senior centers for recommendations and see if there are online reviews for the organizations they recommend.
If you have a smart phone or digital camera, you can take a video of a room and send it to your children and ask if there is anything they want. As you declutter, you can send texts or emails and they can respond with sell, toss or donate. You can also capture sentimental memories, such as "remember this?" while you share one last memory and keep it forever digitally (if you want). This way you are decluttering with your children but they not spending a lot of time decluttering.
Many groups like Goodwill, Habitat for Humanity, the Salvation Army, Vietnam Vets for America or local groups in your area will send trucks for donations for furniture or big donations. Check their website for what they will accept. People in those organizations may also have ideas of other places in your area to donate.
Hope this helps. I was checking the comments on Dawn's video on how to donate inherited items and people seem to have had a lot if success with estate sales.
You are not alone. If you have any questions, ask. Maybe other people have ideas and solutions that have worked for them.
If you want to stay, can it work out somehow? If you want to move, do what Marie Kondo says to do first, and imagine the life you now next would like, and proceed accordingly.
Hugs & I'm sorry about your husband. I'm sad when I think about my mom's days alone right after dad died. 🙁 I regret that, now. I kinda thought she needed space... I hope you're doing okay with the stuff and what's next. Dawn from the Minimal Mom & others have some vids that have really helped my perspective about loved ones things and grief.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Remember the world's longest journey starts with a single footstep.
Any progress, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction!
Oh dear! I am so sorry for your loss! I hope you can go through what you have to easily and I hope your loved ones are there for you! 🙏❤️
When my Mom passed away the urge to keep everything of hers was strong but I made myself keep only three things that meant something dear to me. I kept her sewing machine, her thimble and the hoodie she wore everyday to help me feed the horses on the farm. These three things remind me deeply of the things she loved and did with me. And when I use them, I smile and feel her presence.
Lovely story! And telling stories about her keeps her memory alive
Thanks for sharing. My mom is about to turn 81 this December, and I’m preparing my heart now for the inevitable. This helps me. ♥️
@@tracysullivan6450 take time now to go through her possessions with her and ask her the story behind each, you get a bonding benefit and more stories to remember her by, and she might be willing to donate and pass things along to someone who can use them, and your mother may outlive us all. Blessings to you both
That is so sweet. When my grandmother passed my aunt, uncle and mom didn't fuss over material things. I commend them for that. And it made me so sad when they invited me to the house to pick things, that you end up gone and it just ends up being things in a house. That house was special because the love my Granny and Papa had. 💜💜
i love that. there are a few choices items of my brother's that i keep and use, and sometimes they make me cry deeply and sometimes they make me smile at how free spirited he was. bc it's only a few items and they're small, it makes me feel like i can hold on to them freely. he did away with his things before he died so i feel lucky to have those few things still
The best thing my dad did for us was to leave us practically no physical possessions. He had half of a standard 5 foot closet with a few clothes and a sleeping bag. He had a bed a tiny fridge and a computer and some family photos. That’s it. It was such a blessing that we didn’t have to go through tons of crap. I have been actively decluttering for the past three years and I’ve also stopped spending money unless I absolutely need it. It’s definitely a process and I’m not a minimalist but I’m so much happier with less stuff!
When I downsized, I knew I had to purge most of my stuff. Family “heirlooms” I decided were not MY memories, they were my parents treasures. 2nd, I thought of how happy someone would be to score some of these items in a thrift store. I let them go and felt a huge relief-freedom from the stuff! It’s been 2 years and I haven’t missed any of it.
I'm thankful that I am Scottish and live in Scotland we talk to everyone, we never pass by, strangers are friends we've yet to meet. I know when the worst things happen I have a community, friends, neighbours, my church family who will be there, and have been when I've struggled. I am so really blessed xxxxxxxxxxx
I used to live in Scotland. It's beautiful but I miss it's people most.
You truly are blessed. May it always be so.
We pretend not to see people we know in a grocery store. So sad.
@@gwenewing6837 that is sad xxxxxxxxx
People in Australia are selfish arseholes who care only about themselves. Their neighbour could be suicidal and they are too lazy to ask how they are or offer any help. If their husband is bashing his wife & kids they ignore them. Pathetic, they have never heard of the word "community " & are too self absorbed to care anyway.
Dawn didn't you just want to ball when he thanked you at the end? I got tears in my eyes! I just love you and your Sister's channels-doing such an awesome job!!
Hi 👋😊
Kelly! YES! I didn't hear it when I was there, I think because it was a fairly overwhelming experience...so when I went to edit this and got to the end and heard it, I was completely caught off guard!...I think I've tried to keep my head down and fight the good fight, so to hear such a kind compliment from someone that I respect really means so much!
I agree. His words were very kind AND true. Dawn really does help with, "What do I do next now that I know I want to get rid of my stuff? " I've been decluttering for the past several years and I still learn new things all of the time.
@@bshows14 how are you doing today 😊?
How are you doing@@derrickcricket152? 😊
My dad passed away 5 years ago and my mom passed away almost 3 years ago. I so wanted to keep everything and never let it go. One day, I realized that no matter how many things I have that belonged to them, they weren't coming back. And having these things couldn't change that. I have been letting things go and keeping a shelf in my room of the most special things from my childhood and from them that have the most memories. I know that my parents, who loved me so well, would never want me to be burdened with 'stuff' because of guilt or sadness. That makes it a little easier.
What I love about the Marie Kondo approach is that there isn’t judgement about what you decide to keep and treasure. I have got rid of a lot of stuff but I’m keeping all my child’s drawings because they have what’s most precious for me.
“Grief can only be done in community”. Wow. That resonated big time here. I’m an only child whose parents lived a 4 day drive away. When my dad died in 2020, it was left to me and my husband to clean out their house and liquidate everything in 10 weeks. And let me tell you, my parents were NOT minimalists. So many people helped. Friends, family, loved ones. Not only did we sell everything I didn’t want to keep, but we also sold the house. I will always be grateful for that help!
That and "Grief needs a witness." - I did not know or consider this at all.
My mom is in assisted living and I am an only child. I had a panic attack dealing with her stuff. This makes me cry. I also suffer from anxiety and I feel alone dealing with my grief. This makes total sense. I am now obsessed with organizing and letting things go.
Thank you for this-💗
It is hard if you are an only child. On the other hand, YOU can make all the relevant decisions and do not have to wait or argue with a sibling what to do, what to keep and you can move at your own pace. :)
You're not alone I don't have kids so when my parents go in their home with tons of crap I remind myself i can take my time with it
The memory of the person becomes transferred to the stuff! that's good! It can help us understand the "stuff" is NOT the person & the memories won't disappear if we give the stuff away
great summary
The neighbor issue is SO TRUE! I live in a townhouse and "most" of us at the very least speak to each other. But there were neighbors on the end unit who would not even so much as speak or wave if we walked by (even if we did). Then we had a building issue and all of a sudden they were wanting to communicate. OK this was an issue concerning the whole building. BUT as soon as that issue got resolved there was no more communication, waving, etc. I remember telling someone then that these are the kind of people who will come to you when THEY need something but forget it otherwise. I said that I almost feel sorry for them when a really bad catastrophe hits! They will suddenly want to be everyone's best friend.
All four of our parents are now gone and more than one U-Haul is needed! We moved from Illinois to South Dakota to take over the family farm. At that point we had 3 parents still. A year ago my MIL passed away leaving us with with a house’full’ of stuff. One dumpster and one container later….it does overwhelm me because we have to go through that container again! And possibly again! I have been gone a lot this summer because we now have 3 grand babies instead of one. Glorious! But while I was gone, weeds grew and they grew tall and they are everywhere. It kind of reflects in my soul areas of my house where there are ‘weeds’ I have allowed to stay. I have to get rid of them! I do feel anxious coming home (and maybe a bit crabby 😮). Times are changing! Get pulling those weeds out at the roots!
True story today: agoraphobic since covid; not leaving my home in 10 months. Today condo above mine burst pipes and now I am staying in a hotel for 4-6 weeks. The three Restoration company employees who came to help were the absolute best!! Never would have been able to leave without them. Major reminder to reach out and make new friends.
👍Karen, yes I felt like that also after being isolated. I feel like it's harder to socialise now. I am already shy...maybe it affected shy ppl more.
Yep! No man can live on bread alone. I keep getting the similar reminders to not be a total hermit.
I'm so glad you're safe and sound, with good repair resources! Be blessed everybody!
This was Profoundly Awesome! Thank You Sooooo Very Much! My previous career was 25 years of supporting people with Decluttering, Personal Organization and Feng Shui to Support Clarity and Peacefulness as well as Prosperity and Success thru the process of Releasing Stuff! This video was so beautiful to Witness! Thank You So Much!
@3:55 - As someone with ADHD, I just *have* to say…
Perhaps what he meant to say was:
the recent apparent rise in *recognizing* and *diagnosing* ADHD ~in adulthood~ can be directly linked to *adulthood* pressures and expectations being piled upon us in unmanageable numbers - more often than not, resulting in glaringly obvious overwhelmingly chaotic living / working environments - finally bringing to light our *lifelong* struggles, which are due to our *internal make up and wiring* conflicting with society’s expectations.
Perhaps.
Thank you for this excellent explanation. I’m autistic with adhd & had to turn this off when he said “the rise in ADHD can be directly linked to chaotic environments.” I’d love to read the research he’s basing that on because I haven’t come across it. All peer-backed research I’ve read indicates ADHD is genetic but that chaotic environments can exacerbate symptoms of adhd. I’d agree with that & find living simply does help make adhd more manageable. But he made it sound like clutter causes adhd 🙄
@@Darkbillhook - Exactly!! I haven’t gone back to watch the rest yet myself. I adore Dawn, and I will give this a chance some other time - but seriously - though he mentioned “research,” I feel it was quite ignorant and dismissive of him to toss that statement out as he did.
YES! EXACTLY!
Agreed!
You’re so right to point this out. It kind of sounded like he was saying clutter is causing ADHD but those of us who have it know that we live on the edge of overwhelm and this is one of the things that can tip us over that edge.
I love the "greatest thing you can do is get to know your neighbors" advice for preparing for a potential disaster. That's wise!
So happy this is airing now. Two of the most respected, approachable people on this key topic speaking with each other. We are so fortunate this has taken place! Edit to add: I commented first, and now that I have watched it all, I hear the truly important takeaway of "who in my life can I count on, and how do I strive to create a community" - given our current world with natural barriers (COVID among others), it strikes me strongly how online alliances truly do matter. Both of you foster that, and you do make every day a better day!
Andrea, thank you for always cheering us on...it truly means more than you could ever imagine!!!
@@TheMinimalMom Thank you, MM
Decluttering is totally therapeutic. It’s huge for my mental health
The parts of the discussion on grief..... eye opening. How many times have we dealt with grief over something or someone, and did it alone. And that's when the anxiety, stress, self medication in some manner sets in, creating destructive habits in order to cope. So good!
Yes, yes, yes! Couldn't agree more! We should do a whole video just on that!!!
Also when someone offers to help you let them. So many times I offer to help and people say no. People wouldn't offer if they didn't mean it. My neighbor kept trying to pay me back in some way and I told her not to pay me back so I can get the brownie points in heaven:)
@@TheMinimalMom yes. PLEASE!!!
Some communities, counselors, or churches offer support groups for people who are grieving. You don't have to do it alone.
Hoarding and bereavement are closely linked. If you go watch the hoarder docu series it's remarkable how many of them started doing it after a loved one died. It makes a lot of sense too and really makes you empathize with the situation.
Hey Dawn, I'm 26 almost 27. You are everything I want to be as a woman still growing up trying to figure it all out. You are so humble and intelligent and insightful. I admire you in a lot of ways.
I sent this to my mom. Her mom passed away 3 yrs ago. She’s still dealing with the estate and clutter and all her stuff. Plus her own household, that is cluttered. It’s been to long. To much has been saved, just to sit in a box for yrs. I don’t know how to approach it without blurting out, you can’t have everything. You’re overwhelmed and stressed because of all this junk.. she has a 3 bed house, and can’t get into 2 rooms, and hers isn’t far behind.
I feel this way about digital clutter. Emails, notes, reminders, calendars, digital photos and folders (digital and physical). Paper is the worst 😫
Oh my lord, I literally clapped halfway through this and balled my eyes out when he gave us permission to not be attached and to build community over and over again. My son is going through so much since at 19 he doesn’t know what to do next and his friends are going their own way and he feels lonely and, and , and… it’s been so much for him and all I can do is give him anecdotes from my own life. I’ve had people come and go. We can’t hang on , just look forward and build a new future. I’be been on a decluttering journey for 18 months after I had 3 people who were dear to me passed on. I’ve made progress, but I feel the environment for my children is still too chaotic. Which I’m sure adds to my 19 yo’s anxiety. This made so much sense to me! And yes Dawn, thank you for your smile and for bringing joy into our lives ❤️
I literally just inherited my mom's entire estate, and she very rarely threw anything away in the last 30 years. The intro of this already has me in tears.
I'm sorry for your loss. I've been there.
Dr. Delony is the absolute best!!
I was an addict (substance abuse). There is a definite correlation here with hoarding. In the thros of addiction, I became obsessed with the acquisition of stuff. Rather than deal with the emptiness within, I took to filling what I defined as the emptiness without. Crazy, yes, but I was in "The Madness " as it were. No-one at that time would've said I had a lack of abundance with all that stuff, but I knew I had an abundance of lack ie what was important. Now a few years clean, I am living fairly minimalist. I don't limit myself to thinking that abundance only means money and acquiring stuff,there is also to be had an abundance of peace, joy, and love ❤️.
If you're having a hard time repeat this mantra, "I Am What I Am, and that is enough".
Be lucky.
I do enjoy your vid's. Wonderful.☺️
Peace joy and love to all ❤❤ and then some.
So good. I'm going to rewatch this and let it sink in. So many different aspects of this hit in meaningful ways. 😭
I know, we actually covered ALOT of ground in a short time!!!
As a disabled senior I don't have any of the three pillars that were
mentioned. That is reality for so many of us. There are no opportunities to create community as we live in isolation.
Debra, that is so rough...I'm sending you a big hug right now. Is there a good church you can connect with? Especially one that does Stephen Ministry, or something like that, and would come alongside you. I'm saying a prayer for you right now.
Sending you a hug Debra. I hope you can connect with others online. I telework for 10 months. It was so isolating!
OH man. This really spoke to me. I tried to hang onto to so much stuff in the years after my mother died. We got rid of some things but there was so much that felt too personal to let go. My room looked like a hoarder's room. It wasn't healthy. I didn't realize how it was weighing on me until we moved to another town and I was forced to decide to keep a small percentage of things. My mental health improved so much after that.
Great interview! Love you guys. Congrats to both. Towards the end Dr. Delony made me get all teared up when he said "kids don't want toys, they want YOU and you're FREE!" WOW.. I felt that one. XOXO - Lety from Chicago
I’ve made it only five minutes in…minute two I hit pause, filled five bags of Mom’s treasures to donate…minute 4, hit pause again…three more bags in the car. Mom died 2020… I’ve been purging for two years now and purge fatigue is real! I c-a-n-n-o-t keep it just because she loved it and yet I do not. FREEDOM!
Wow!! Go you!
Omg Dawn! I didn’t think this could be better than the interview with Rachel Cruze, but it was! Come on now, have you become a new Dave Ramsey personality? I couldn’t love these interviews more, this was the BEST!
Absolutely ! Dawn you an angel, a dynamo ... and yepp , as always, a ray of sunshine ! Doing God’s work , no doubt !!
Lol, wouldn't that be a trip to be a Ramsey personality! I don't know that that will happen, but I do hope we can do more together in the future!!!
I pass Ramsey solutions in Nashville often and always tell myself, “I’m gonna stop there one day” but never take the opportunity to do so. And by the end of year I’ll be able to stop and say “I’m debt free!” Freeing.
Recently moved and took three hundred boxes and one hundred bags...We both poorly and so overwhelmed...Friends are doing tip runs for us and charity shops have stopped taking things at the moment...We cannot settle in with all this around us...
This hit home!! With motherhood came isolation and anxiety for me. To top it off I am homeschooling my kiddos. It’s been a hard season with littles. I getting the hang of it, but after hearing this I realize my desires for a community are not a want but a need. Can’t wait to read this book. Thank you Dawn for all the tips and knowledge you have shared over the years. I know decluttering has helped my anxiety in so many ways.
Are there other like-minded homeschooling families in your area? Maybe there are homeschooling groups? If you don't already participate in one, it might be a good place to start.
Yes I am trying to plug in to a few. Thankfully a few close friends started homeschooling this year so I’m hoping that will be a lm opportunity to have community.
Great job Dawn. You have a great message and you are a natural in front of the camera. Keep up the good work!
You're so kind, THANK YOU!
When I saw Dawn sitting in front of the microphone I thought wow, this girl’s cone a long way. I don’t know who she’s speaking with, but it’s still a ‘show’. Good for you, Dawn. You are a true entrepreneur.
I'll echo what Dr. Deloney said: THANK YOU, Dawn! Is this going to be a new feature?? This was a FANTASTIC interview!!!
Oh man, I would love that!!!
Yeeees
Oh man. I understand the lady you were speaking of. My mom passed in December of 2021 and my dad and my siblings and I are tasked with clearing out my mom's basement. It will be an undertaking. I'm so glad that I have built my decluttering muscles up before going into this task, because I know it will be hard. Emotionally and physically. Not only was my mom a "collector of fine wares," but she had also kept many, many things when my grandma had passed away. I look at it this way. It will be hard, BUT, it is one last thing I can do for my sweet Mamma that she just couldn't mentally or physically do.
'One last thing I can do for my sweet Mamma' That brings tears. 30 years and I'm still have a few items I need to let go of. Thank you. It's easier getting rid of my mess so my children won't have to deal with it.
That’s some kinda love for your mama right there, Becky Roberts!
@@elizabethl4722 Your children will thank you for not saving all of the things. Its makes the grieving process so much harder being confronted also with so much stuff to manage.
@@brendamcelyea1246 She was the best Mom and I'm honored to be able to do something for her, even after she has passed.
I removed our bedframe the other day, so that my toddler and her baby sister could enter and leave the bed on their one. And they love it! Now they play (safely!) on our big mattress every day together 😁
It is really the simple stuff that brings the most happiness!
❤
This is really great! What I liked the most is that John complimented Dawn in her role - she's bringing simple, practical ways to the world to declutter. I am interested in reading his book as well. Thank you Dawn!
As soon as he was complimenting her on how she has positively affected people, I thought "they better cut filming quickly bc girlfriend will cry". I love, love, love that about her...that she has such a tender and caring heart! ❤️
@@ellef4812 Hahaha, you know me SO well!!!! Love this!!!!
Can someone help me with the author name and book name. I missed it. Thank you
@@loucrosby5720 "Own Your Past, Change Your Future" by Dr. John Delony ❤️🥰
Dawn you are very blessed ! I'm amazed at your success! You have poured yourself into helping us and seeing you with different Ramsey personalities makes me feel blessed to be one of your subscribers! Love from Tucson AZ
You are SO kind, THANK YOU, it truly means more than you know!!!!!!
I can’t begin to tell you how much this video hit home! Every time I look at the two years of pantry stock, storage area, etc. I think, “ food is not going to be available, there is going to be no water, no things to buy, our future is going to be in jeopardy!”. I don’t feel safe!!! Thank you! I got the book on audible, am looking forward to hearing it, and know…I am safe….
Boy, this came at the right time for me. I'm still grieving my husband (after 4 years) and still have some of his things to deal with (plus stuff from my parents who passed away years ago) and my Granddaughter, a young teen lives with me (along with my son and her younger sister). She's struggling with anxiety because of her situation with her Mom (sense of safety and anxiety from reliving the chaos). I think Dr. Delony's book may help the both of us. She's right with me recently talking about which rooms to tackle and getting rid of stuff, so again, something guided me to watch this video this morning! Thanks Dawn and Dr. Delony.
Well tears in my eyes were a completely unexpected outcome of this video! Thank you for introducing me to this information! So good! ❤️
Same! So many different parts of this hit in meaningful ways.
@@angiewalker1948 yes!!
"Grief demands a witness ". That's powerful. And so true.
Strange as it may seem, a friend of mine actually DOES have a tent and other “camping” stuff she keeps in her car in case she becomes homeless. She often speaks of stockpiling food. She said she “kept everything” because she might need it. The way John describes that scenario, is very much her mindset. I didn’t realize the three pillars he speaks of existed. She does not actually have family that could help her, but does have friends. She has been lately able to make some changes and she moved into a smaller place and get rid of quite a bit of stuff. But now I am understanding her way of thinking. Very interesting.
Also makes sense why loss of a loved one/partner/spouse can trigger hoarding.
Keeping stuff "just in case" is extremely common.
My husband was a collector (we are a second marriage and married at mid-life. I saw that his one bedroom appt. was cluttered and had piles here and there but I looked at it and saw camping gear, fishing gear and where do you put that in a one-bedroom apartment? A year of so later we move to a rural country home with a large pole barn...ALL he cared about was that pole barn - a red flag and I missed it. Then I found out why. He had farmed out a ton of his belongings at his friend's homes and barn.Then he slowly began to pick everything up and bring it back to our home...he had neglected to tell me he had all those things. I was shocked to see multiple work benches, 21 rifles/guns enough ammo for four people, 21 fishing poles etc. Then he spent the next 20 years going to barn sales, flea markets and collecting more even though we discussed this and agree that if something comes in then something has to go to make room for it. he was buying and hiding it from me. And he spent the next 20 years all of his free time in the pole barn fondling and unpacking, looking at his stuff. One day I realize we could have taken a vacation on the money he spent on those items, we could have spent quality time together, and with that time we could have taken dance classes or whatever we choose to do. Honestly, I resented that loss. All of this stuff gave me a lot of anxiety because my older brother and my youngest son were our executers and I worried about what happened if wee died in an accident and my two sons and my brother were left to deal with all of this stuff? I saw that as so not fair and a terrible burden to leave them with. Or, if my husband died first, I would be left with everything to deal with on top of a house full of furniture, determining where I was going to live, and all the paperwork etc. Just the idea alone was overwhelming.
"The process starts over again...and that is a life well-lived."
Such a fabulous interview.
So true! Once we decluttered the majority I was able to get our finances in control, our home in control along with small remodeling projects even fix things that i was blinded too. I felt paralyzed!!
I told my adult daughter that when I die, don't keep all my crap - like most people. Just keep a Few Things that remind you of me and sell/ throw away everything else. (A pastor once told me "You can't take your things to heaven with you when you die, don't leave Your things a burden to your family". )
🥰🎯👍.
Dr John AND Dawn the Minimal Mom - great combo!!!
I love minimal mom! Dawn had saved my life. I just found her a couple of months ago and I cannot express how much my quality of life has improved since I began decorating my home.
I'm far from don't but even the little bit I have done is so helpful and had made my home more peaceful.
My mother died in 2020. I'd taken care of her for the six months after her diagnosis, and afterwards, I stayed in her house, exhausted and grieving and overwhelmed. She was a hoarder and the family repository for all the things. My grandmother's stuff in top of her own. At first it was easy, because it was truckloads (literally) of garbage, recycle, or donation. It's been harder once it got to the nice things and the sentimental things, all needing decisions. It's taken two years, and some of what I gave away I could have sold for good money, but I didn't have the bandwidth. It has consumed my life entirely. I'm currently waiting for another donation pickup, but I'm almost done. What I know for sure is I will never do that to my daughter. And yes, I've had amazing friends helping me, or I would have given up a long time ago.
This is so true Dawn. I have decluttered many rooms in my house thanks to your videos. I feel so calm walking into an uncluttered room. But I hadn't realised I feel the opposite ie stressed, walking into a cluttered room
Dawn, so awesome!!! Two of my favorite people!! Bridging the process of decluttering to mental health is as key as bridging it to financial stability... so so awesome. God is using you to bring healing to so many people through your content! Bless you!
Dr John is absolutely right. Community is everything. I was born and raised in the country, and back there we talk to everyone, know everyone and help each other out. Sure, there's gossip and a diminute sense of privacy, but you know you belong. I live in a gigantic city now and it took me 2 years to get my neighbor to have a 10min conversation with me. People here mind their own businesses and you'll probably die alone if something happens to you at home.
I decluttered my home over 18 months and then my parents died and left me with delightful treasures 😱 I can not tell you how grateful I am that I know because of my previous experience that I can declutter and make hard decisions. 😰 I just have to do it all again with a stronger choosing muscle 💪🏻
So sorry for your loss. I hope you can be covered with good memories as you declutter their possesions. I know it's hard.
Awesome! Great interview! I am 63, my two daughters watch you as well! We are always referring to “the minimal mom”! You have encouraged us & made an everyday difference in our lives! And what a genuine, kind spirit you have!!! Thank you!
This was an awesome interview! I could have listened to y’all for hours.
Dawn, I am so glad I have found you on TH-cam. I have been learning so many things and I just want to thank you for for taking your time to help all of us struggling♥️ You are such a blessing!
Thoughtful and thought-provoking. I just finished a week of having an old friend visit from out of state, specifically to help me with a museum display project. A lot of what we accomplished I could have done by myself, yet I never got around to it. The presence of another enthusiastic person energized both of us to get work done in a jovial and productive way. Community does matter. Now, about my cluttered home office...
I adore this guy
Thank you to both of you. About 2 weeks ago I was looking around my house and in my mind thought I just can’t do this anymore this is too much. There were toys and clutter everywhere in our home. For a long time I’ve felt this way but the past few months I’ve felt more and more the panic feeling of overwhelm and like I just can’t handle the demands of life. I’ve struggled with anxiety since I was a child because my childhood was chaotic most of the time or very unstable environment. God has been helping me to overcome this anxiety and one way is by decluttering. When I had that thought 2 weeks ago seriously just a few min after a podcast notification popped up about you with Chrystal Evans Hurst. It was right when I needed it I was blown away. God is awesome. I’ve since then began a journey of trying to become a minimalist. Very much a beginner right now and still have feelings of doubt but your channel has brought so much encouragement to me. It motivates me that I can change and I can do this. And that I can make our home peaceful as well as my whole life. It is not a coincidence at all that I found you and then led to these videos with John Delony. It has been life changing for me and I want to say thank you for that, to both of you.
Oh My!!! What a great video!!! So many great points! I see myself in this too much! I ended up with my Mom's items, then my Dad's items, then my Aunt's items and now.... a basement FULL of their things, that I just don't know what to do with, because every single piece, has a piece of THEM in it! Oh G'Ness!!! But... THEY aren't in those things! So the ending... he thanked you.... but we thank him too! You are both so helpful!!!
This whole conversation felt totally awesome, and heart-warming, AND therapeutic! Thanks for sharing this wisdom with us/me.
I'm truly moved by this interaction. I feel empowered to find my neighbors, know my people, and to be that for someone else.
My love language is acts of service and I am confident that God gave me a marsallow heart so I can provide acts for others. A wonderful episode.
I can relate. ❤️
I am a Senior. I moved 4 years ago. I lived through my Dads death and tearing my Achilles heal
which took 6 months to heal, miserable movers from hell, and leaving one of my animals behind because i couldn't capture him to put him in carrier and more. I couldnt unpack stuff. I took too much with me. I had to downsize 5 times only to have no drawers anywhere in two room apartment. So everything you have said i went through.
It was horrid. Im still standing though. I was afraid of getting evicted. My BFF paid to get place worked on. Its 1 year later and i have a homemaker. I am not feeling desperate any longer. I lived through hell and i can breathe and smile and be grateful.
Awesome!!! Just awesome. I do miss my Mom. I just sat and cried listening today. If only I could chat with my mom. ♥️
I understand , Jane. I lost my mom in December of 2021 and it's still just hard some days. I know she is with Jesus, but I miss her everyday. She was truly a unique and wonderful person.
@@bshows14 Thank you. I guess it’s just hard to lose your Mom. Time marches on but it seems part of my heart went with her. As Christians I’m thankful for the promise of heaven to meet again. ♥️
@@janemichael9433 I had a lady explain it this way when referencing losing your mother. She said, " it feels like an invisible umbilical cord has been cut when you lose your mom." I have never heard it explained so accurately. No one loves you so unconditionally like a mother does. It is heartbreaking to lose that.
@@bshows14 That’s very insightful. Thank you for caring. ♥️
Dude!!!! Minimal mom goes on Rachel Cruze and Now the Ramsey Show with John Delony. I thought my birthday couldn’t get better! Love you all!!! You’re the Best minimal mom!
Dawn, how awesome was this! You got to interview John IN HIS studio!!!! Great content! Congrats!!! 💕
I didn't expect for the interview to be in there!!!! We came in through a back hallway and I walked in and he was sitting there and I was like "oh crap, we're doing it in here!?!?!" It took me a few minutes to gain my composure, lol!!!
@@TheMinimalMom Wow...you did an AMAZING job! I would've NEVER known you even had to gain your composure. Your family must be so proud! ❤️
@@TheMinimalMom you did great. You with the mic. Wow. Just love you and your messages . Dawn you are a natural and just so caring. 🎉❤️
Dawn I'm so excited for you! 💗
This has been full circle for me in my debt free journey. I started watching Dave Ramsey back in 2017 then the "Minimalist" was on the show, from them I came across your channel and now here you are. I finally credit card debt free working on babysit 4 and you are on the Dave Ramsey show my heart is full.
This is SO cool Sabrina! WAY TO GO!!!! It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it!!!
Great interview Dawn! You and John’s knowledge will help so many people. We don’t need all of the stuff!
I’ve dealt with so much loss in my life, with the brunt of it since 2007. I was born in 1970 and have two younger brothers 4 and 8 years younger than me. They both passed during this period of time, each in their 33rd year of life. My dad died. My grandmother who I was very close with died. My mom died this past October. There have been plenty of other losses before these, so attaching personhood to stuff is something I’ve always struggled with. I have a storage unit right now with all my mom’s stuff in it
You know what, guys? Thank you, just thank you to the both of you ♥️
Many people aren’t safe. It’s not always smart to connect socially. You have to be careful and selective about who you trust.
The number of good people in the world to be connected with is not as high as many people think that it is.
Love the comments from Dr John about knowing your neighbours. Such a great reminder! Also knowing your neighbours, as maybe they will be the ones needing the help!
Wow, a lightbult when he talked about why we go 'back' to relive the glory days....we haven't made the same kind or depth or regularity of connection in our world today. Light bulb moment. I need to get this book. TY.
My room is beyond help. I climb through piles to get into a small space in my bed. When I do get rid of a few things I get nervous if I'm giving it away to the right person. When... Honestly it just needs to be thrown away.
I got rid of everything my mom owned when she passed after the funeral. I had a friend come over and help me get rid of EVERYTHING. Oddly it’s the only thing that helped me grieve. It was like saying bye to every part of her. I then made of list of things she wanted, like home improvements or hopes she had for me, and I started doing it. I went back to school, renovating the house, caring for my dad..etc. I feel great and just tackle another thing on the list when if it’s a rough day of missing her.
That was fantastic! And OMG, I totally love what he said at the end. It's all true, you DO bring joy, even when things are hard. And you have a smile and genuine love for others that just melts my heart. ❤
Dawn, thank you!
This was so good.
You, Tom, Diana, Cass and Kim from the "Wads" all inspire me.
I've been feeling down, frustrated, aggravated and unsure how on earth I will accomplish all the things.
You all have helped me to feel better. May God bless you all.
Thanks for the book recommendation! It's amazing how much better our lives can get when we simplify.
I realize how important it is to be in the community, to have a community. But when it comes to actions, it is so hard for me as an introvert to even say “hi”😨.
So it’s a constant work on building Network and relationships that will last.👯♀️
But as soon as you find the right people, this is the biggest treasure😊
Well Hi!
I hear you. For me the struggle is not having the energy to keep up with so many people. But I am wondering if I search too much for that friendship one had as a child and even teen. That close friendship attaching you to each others hip. Life becomes complicated with responsibilities, children, trauma's etc. I guess no one has time as adults to build the deep bonds we had as kids.
YES, I completely agree!!
I am an extrovert but it's very hard for me too. My best friends don't live in the same town as me. Luckily I have gotten to know a couple neighbors well enough if something happened, I could call. It would be very awkward, but they would help and I feel like I have conveyed I would do the same. It's definetly hard to learn to be friends as an adult with responsibilities. The 3 pillars are HARD even though I know I need them and my family needs them.
Seriously, I wish someone had told “grief can only be done in community” a few years ago. This interview was so good on so many levels. It definitely explains so much about my struggles to focus and be productive in my cluttered home. I have decluttered, but it might be time for the next level of it. Thank you again for all you do! You truly are an inspiration!
Oh man! I wanted to cry at the end when he was thanking you for what you do!❣️❣️❣️❣️ this was awesome 🤗
Me too!!! I was not expecting that!!!
My environment being cluttered definitely triggers anxiety. My house growing up was cluttered and chaotic, matching the energy and interactions we had inside the house. It felt like the walls were caving in in so many ways. I remember spending hours cleaning the house to surprise my parents, and it still didn't result in the attention and love and calm that I hoped it would. Now when my own house feels out of control with clutter, that feeling of "I'm not safe" comes up again. It's taken me a while to make that connection.
Love this! We all need to have people we can count on and feel like we're part of a community. It's so true that our kids and grandkids just want to spend time with us. One of my grandson's favorite things to do is play ball with his grandpa on the stairs. My grandson also loves Lego but I think part of why he likes it is because he builds sets with his dad, or with me, or with his aunt or uncle. It's a time to connect.
Amazing discussion with plenty of 'practical' tips, I loved the vibe and energy you guys were sharing, so inspiring!! Sending you big hugs all the way from France ❤️
Great job Dawn! You and Dr. D covered several big topics in a short time. The relationship advice about friends and finding new ones really resonated, especially as life changes as we get older. Thank you!
Yes, that stuck out to me too.
Dawn you and your sister are such a blessing, I’m sure when God looks down at your respective ministries he is smiling. I feel in my opinion that putting to much attachment on possessions is what in the Bible says do not store up earthly treasures which are temporary, but set your goals on things above. We come into this world with nothing and we will leave with nothing.
Two of my favorite people together! I'm so excited!!
I agree...Thank you for your joy you put into the world. You are appreciated.
This was so wonderful to hear. “Your kids need you.” So powerful!
I thoroughly enjoyed this video. Do you have a video that speaks more about decluttering and grief? I see so many new members in a decluttering group on Facebook that have joined due to inheriting a lifetime of stuff from a loved one. Thank you so much!
Passing this along to you that this video was part of The Minimal Mom channel and John Delony was her guest. If you look at the other videos on her channel she goes into more details about clutter, emotions, grief, etc. Hope that helps.
Very eye opening to tie anxiety and grief to clutter and hanging onto things . Im getting your book.. I think it will help me a lot. Lost my daughter and a very close cousin.. haunted and holding onto things because I desperately want to not have their memories fade. A final loss sometimes too much for me to deal with. Thank you
THIS is amazing!!! Love the both of you!!!!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍
You both are 2 of my favorite people to watch and listen to! Loved this!
Hi 👋😊
Thank you. I love playing your videos and just listening to them even when I’m not decluttering, it help build up beliefs for when I do, and also think more of what I bring into my house. I moved almost two years ago and used to have loads of stuff, cleared a big amount and then I got some other things as time passed….but I have to say, it gave me a great lesson, when I had the least amount of things, it was so easy to keep on top of them, I was always nicely dressed up and my house was clean and tidying took 30 min tops….now as things slowly got back I’m realising how life was much easier and this makes it easier to get rid of the things no longer serving me (although I’m still having some trouble with clothes as my weight has varied quite a bit in the last few years) thank you for the work you put into this 🙏🏼
Katie here. This book will go on my reading list. I'm almost done a book called "Changes that Heal" by Dr. Henry Cloud. I HIGHLY recommend it. It's goes along with this video - how to grow, mature, take ownership of our lives and build healthy relationships. This is so important to learn in today's world where love has grown cold. Thanks for the love you share through your channel. You've changed our family for the better and we thank God for you!
I'd add beautiful stuff to useful stuff for those of us whose souls are fed with beauty around us.I have no knick knacks or decor, but I have art--a minimal amount. Those pieces are soul essentials for me. Thanks for this great interview. Not familiar with Delony but now I'm listening to the book!