„You can‘t logic your way out of emotions“.. this explains my situation so well. I still feel so stuck sometimes. When I think I finally understand what happened and why, the rumination starts all over again. Learning everything about attachment theory, and reading tons of other people’s very similar experiences helped to an extent, but didn’t change my lack of understanding how someone can hurt another person they claim to love and respect so deeply.
"it's not you it's me" feels like bullshit mostly but with dismissive avoidants it is so real they couldn't make it work with anyone unless they seriously worked through all their issues first
I definitely get frustrated at myself when I’ve been feeling good and then slip back and cry my eyes out again. I can’t wait to put this all behind me and to feel done with it. It’s been 4 months and it was a 2 year relationship. I’m trying to figure out why I want so badly for my DA ex to realize that he’s a DA. And for him to understand why he acted the way he did and how much that messed me up now and for future relationships. I want him to learn to not do this to anyone else, that he’s leaving a trail of damage behind him. But I’m not the teacher. I wish I could let go of that wish somehow.
3:48 💯 We are in the same social circle and I just want the friendly vibe we had before we knew each other better. He sat next to me the first time we were at an event, he initiated everything......all our time together in person was great, then he blew it all apart. I apologized for my anxious self getting triggered, he never apologized for his rageful abusive rants at me. I feel it's a growth mentality to learn and do better, but he has me blocked everywhere even though I very rarely interact and when I do it's friendly. I did not react in anger to his rage. I don't treat people that way....ever.
My ex that I wanted so badly to stay friends with ended up coming back 6 months later and wanted a relationship but then broke up again and wants to be friends. Now I don't really want to be friends with someone who would do all that anymore.
50 days NC she did exactly this….thanks a lot for the videos coz they help in closure.Do a video on what their break up process is like and do they ever reach out or come back?
I am about to send a harsh but thoroughly honest email to my DA ex (broke up April 4)- who refused to ever have a calm face-to-face. 2 years ended. I thought we'd get married one day.
Similar situation, broke up April 15th, 2.5 years together. How’d that email go? I sent a harsh message the other day in reply to her telling me she’s dating someone… hasn’t gone down well, after all the bs and pain this breakup has put me through.
@@norswil8763 I actually didn't send it. I wanted to wait 90+ days to get out some of the anger. Which I did. I rewrote it several times, and now, it's going out Friday night. She's a complete and total trainwreck of a person, in total denial - and she deserves to have it spelled out for her. She's created monstrous kids - and a chaotic, downwardly spiraling life - but "doesn't know why". Well, I do. Maybe if she reads the blunt truth, she'll embark on the healing journey. No one has known her like I have, even her ex-husband. So if she reads something and I'm not in the room - and it's not an argument, she can take it in. At least, I hope so. After that, I hope to be FREE of her - in my mind, at least.
6 months together and she blocked me on everything without even telling me we were breaking up or were done. We had one small dispute and she ran from the relationship without even trying. I've never had a girl dump me this cold and harsh before out of everything I did for her. Easily the hardest breakup for me to get over.
does timeframe play a role in the chances of them coming back?? because i think emotional depth plays a bigger role than the timeframe? its just been 4 months seeing each other before she ghosted me. but on the other hand, i had a relationship breakup after 3 years and didnt feel the same pain at all.
I am the anxious person , my date was avoidant and lately changed and cold treated me , as a protest behavious i broke up with through a text , she was kinda shocked then i went no contact , sometimes i feel guilty about it or may be my anxious behavior makes me wanna communicate, as i am the dumper , do they owe me explanation ! Or i just keep my no contact and move on .?
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„You can‘t logic your way out of emotions“.. this explains my situation so well. I still feel so stuck sometimes. When I think I finally understand what happened and why, the rumination starts all over again.
Learning everything about attachment theory, and reading tons of other people’s very similar experiences helped to an extent, but didn’t change my lack of understanding how someone can hurt another person they claim to love and respect so deeply.
"it's not you it's me" feels like bullshit mostly but with dismissive avoidants it is so real they couldn't make it work with anyone unless they seriously worked through all their issues first
No response is closure. Stone walling is closure. Treating you like s... is closure. Shut that door.
Amen!
Yepper 👋👋👋
I definitely get frustrated at myself when I’ve been feeling good and then slip back and cry my eyes out again. I can’t wait to put this all behind me and to feel done with it. It’s been 4 months and it was a 2 year relationship.
I’m trying to figure out why I want so badly for my DA ex to realize that he’s a DA. And for him to understand why he acted the way he did and how much that messed me up now and for future relationships. I want him to learn to not do this to anyone else, that he’s leaving a trail of damage behind him. But I’m not the teacher. I wish I could let go of that wish somehow.
It's because you are a good person. It's okay to let go of the dreams and hopes you have for someone else to become a better person.
@@oOOoOphidian Thank you, it actually helps to hear you say that. 💕
I’m so stuck, 8 months later. I wouldn’t be with romantically if she contacted me tomorrow but I so wish we could’ve remained friends
3:48 💯
We are in the same social circle and I just want the friendly vibe we had before we knew each other better. He sat next to me the first time we were at an event, he initiated everything......all our time together in person was great, then he blew it all apart. I apologized for my anxious self getting triggered, he never apologized for his rageful abusive rants at me. I feel it's a growth mentality to learn and do better, but he has me blocked everywhere even though I very rarely interact and when I do it's friendly. I did not react in anger to his rage. I don't treat people that way....ever.
My ex that I wanted so badly to stay friends with ended up coming back 6 months later and wanted a relationship but then broke up again and wants to be friends. Now I don't really want to be friends with someone who would do all that anymore.
Very well done, and right on the money!!!.. Thanks for doing this video…
Thanks Tom! Glad you enjoyed it.
50 days NC she did exactly this….thanks a lot for the videos coz they help in closure.Do a video on what their break up process is like and do they ever reach out or come back?
Thanks for your feedback and the video request.
Best video so far to help me negotiate this terrible point in my life
I’m glad you found the video helpful. 🙏
I am about to send a harsh but thoroughly honest email to my DA ex (broke up April 4)- who refused to ever have a calm face-to-face.
2 years ended. I thought we'd get married one day.
Do it if it's going to make you feel better but keep in mind that that it will fall on deaf ears
Similar situation, broke up April 15th, 2.5 years together. How’d that email go? I sent a harsh message the other day in reply to her telling me she’s dating someone… hasn’t gone down well, after all the bs and pain this breakup has put me through.
@@norswil8763 I actually didn't send it. I wanted to wait 90+ days to get out some of the anger. Which I did. I rewrote it several times, and now, it's going out Friday night. She's a complete and total trainwreck of a person, in total denial - and she deserves to have it spelled out for her. She's created monstrous kids - and a chaotic, downwardly spiraling life - but "doesn't know why". Well, I do. Maybe if she reads the blunt truth, she'll embark on the healing journey. No one has known her like I have, even her ex-husband. So if she reads something and I'm not in the room - and it's not an argument, she can take it in. At least, I hope so. After that, I hope to be FREE of her - in my mind, at least.
6 months together and she blocked me on everything without even telling me we were breaking up or were done. We had one small dispute and she ran from the relationship without even trying. I've never had a girl dump me this cold and harsh before out of everything I did for her.
Easily the hardest breakup for me to get over.
Thank you for this..
You’re welcome! 😊
this is exactly my story
does timeframe play a role in the chances of them coming back?? because i think emotional depth plays a bigger role than the timeframe? its just been 4 months seeing each other before she ghosted me. but on the other hand, i had a relationship breakup after 3 years and didnt feel the same pain at all.
I am the anxious person , my date was avoidant and lately changed and cold treated me , as a protest behavious i broke up with through a text , she was kinda shocked then i went no contact , sometimes i feel guilty about it or may be my anxious behavior makes me wanna communicate, as i am the dumper , do they owe me explanation ! Or i just keep my no contact and move on .?