Motherhood has literally given me health issues. The stress and anxiety on a daily basis, the noise, the extent that they need you and the extent of how long they need you for…”kids just being kids” takes the enjoyment out of being a parent. I regret becoming a mother every single day. It’s not worth it, what it takes away from us and our own life and our own “person”, parenting is just not worth it. It’s too much. Childbirth alone is pure hell. It’s just constantly 95% unfair, and we are raised to believe that 5% is worth it. No, it’s kinda not.
yes, as a childfree person, i don't understand why you chose this lifestyle, everyone knows it is going to be stressful and painful. we are always moaned about by parents who say we are selfish for choosing a less stressfree lifestyle. a lot of women think having kids is all rainbows and unicorns, and childbirth is worth the pain of having kids. more parents should say it is crap
Lol. Welcome to motherhood. Wait until your teen daughter says she hates you. What a joy. She will later say she’s sorry but man, it crushes you when it’s said.
Yes my son’s words totally crushes me sometimes - like I know he’s a kid and I can’t expect him to behave like an adult but it’s the feeling that you tried your hardest and try do the best for him but in return he didn’t appreciate it. Just yday he threaten to run away from home because I asked him to finish his soup and he’s only 7! Lol 😂
It’s refreshing to see a mom be honest! No one should go into motherhood with the unrealistic expectations that currently exist. And childfree people shouldn’t have to explain their choice over and over again. We all benefit from honesty & transparency❤
exactly, we are made to feel selfish as we have really thought about the disadvantages of having kids and are expected to think it is all rainbows and unicorns
I am autistic and could never handle any of this and yet I am shammed for being selfish for not bringing a child in the world with an incompetent mother.
Don't let anyone make you feel selfish for making a decision that you think is right for you! I hate that it is such a stigma about what we should all grow up to be.. I wish you well and I hope that you are able to do what will make you happy in life! 🤍
well said. so sick of parents saying we should have kids so they are forced to look after us in old age, to continue the family name. Most parents do not think of the disadvantages of popping out kids
There was a time where it was really hard on us watching everyone having babies… we struggled with infertility for 6 years- it was such a hard time and i thought i could never be happy again. But now that i see them all struggling with all the things that come with having kids- i so started loving my childless/ childfree life!!! I‘m always put together ( hair, nails, clothes, make up etc), i get all the sleep i want anytime, i can work fulltime and i love my job, i love having the money for myself to get myself nice things, we get to go on nice vacations anytime we want, the house is always calm and clean, i can have drinks whenever, i only have responsibility for myself…and the list goes on. 🎉 you sure love your kids, but you also give your whole own life away for their needs.
Yes. Don't feel like that. Wish them well. We struggle now. But they are growing up. It's a special feeling. I'm 38, lawyer, 3 boys and always put together. Work 5/7 from home sometimes. My husband helps too. Your infertility was a sign of God and yes u can enjoy life without children😊
I am glad I have childfree friends to go out with at 58, we recently had the gas network cut off as they are old pipes and the gas company were offering to pay for a hotel room but there was no room for our neighbours who had several kids and 2 dogs and a cat. They have had no hot water etc for 2 weeks as they were unable to be put up easily. I love my naps whenever I want. I have meaning of life too with various volunteer activities. I don't understand why anyone would want to be a caregiver as a hobby
I am so sorry that you feel this way. ❤ I wish there was something more I could do to help you, but I I hope that you know you're not alone in your feelings.. And I'm glad that you're here.
I have no one to share these sentiments with. I can't even be free to feel the full range of my emotions in truth and vulnerability. Thank you for creating a space for these veey real sentiments! My daughter is 8. It is getting more and more complex. My daughtwr is also very affectionate and I am too but sometimes I am absolutely TOUCHED OUT. It feels like she wants to drink all my energy! Yes I love my child obviously and it hurts that I feel the need to say that for fear of being judged!
I recently got off the fence and committed to being CF after watching this kind of content. Parenthood literally would be my worst hell on every level. I used to just think “oh everyone does it, it’s fine”. I wish more people would engage in serious critical thinking and research before having kids. I’m positive I would be an unintentionally abusive parent and the world needs less of that. It would be self abuse too because I know I’m so ill suited to parenthood.
I honestly feel like she's holding back a lot.Maybe she doesn't want to get someone's feelings hurt by the definite truth. I get it though. I'm glad she shared her truth.
Thank you for your comment. There is actually a Part 2 to this where I go a little deeper than this video does. I personally don't feel that I held anything back in the 2 videos as a whole, but understand how you could think that. Thank you for watching!
@@taylormichael. I actually think it takes wisdom to not say everything you feel at the moment because feelings are so temporary but sometimes words cannot be taken back. I commend you for sharing this with us within your acceptable limits.I will look out for part 2. Thanks again.
Yes, I completely agree! I DO think people should be able to say they don't like it and it definitely isn't for everyone. That is the reason I made this video is so that if there is someone out there who feels this way, they know they aren't alone in the feeling and that it is okay..
Because the second a parent complains about any aspect of raising a kid they are degraded cursed at labeled an abuser or of course the classic "well you chose this".
@@taylormichael. You're not alone. "Not for everyone" is a stupid comment, honestly. Things like chronic sleep deprivation are not for ANYONE. If someone says they enjoy chronic exhaustion and restriction I posit that something is either wrong with them or they are lying.
exactly, I don't want to be a mother. would hate to lose my identity and freedom and wouldnt want to bring suffering and death to a kid. most parents aren't bothered by loss of freedom, and bringing suffering to the kid, they just want to have people forced to look after them in old age and so they they aren't lonely.
I'm a father and can sign up to every word! It's a lot of work. It's a serious life choice because lets be honest - the life will never be the same again.
Damn straight, especially when most fathers (not saying you) expect the mom will do the majority of the work cause she has the food bank built in and they're such drama queens if they have to change a diaper (again, not saying you) but my husband made gagging noises if he was confronted with a dirty diaper, not so much when it's just wet, but still, sheesh 😬
Hello! Yes I am very much okay! ☺️ I would not say that "distress" is the word I would use; but definitely exhaustion.. we have officially moved into a new season with some actual sleep in the mix as well as the changes slowing down a bit. 😅 I appreciate you both. 💗
@@powderandpaint14 No, just pressured into having them way sooner than I wanted, so subsequently it ruined everything I wanted to experience before that happened, like career, travel, social life etc. If things don't happen in the right order, then it just doesn't happen, ever.
I really appreciate your honesty in this video. I feel like a lot of people can potentially romanticize parenthood and it’s nice to see someone be able to share the challenges while also still acknowledging they love their child 💜
I'm CF by choice but have done my share of childcare with family. The drudgery and most of all - repetition drove me nuts. Its ok to say "I love my child but hate parenting". Rich people have got it spot on - nannies!
and not all parents love their kid, they often use them to help pay for them in old age or look after them, or someone to inherit money instead of animal welfare etc
Rich people who adopt (and hire nannies) are doing it the right way because pregnancy is hell and childbirth is hell and the planet is already overpopulated!
Thank you for sharing this. It finally makes me not feel so crazy about my worries about motherhood. I know the baby is the world, but there is truth in the fact that being a mother is not always pleasant! Like it's shown in movies and whatever... You are so incredibly strong. I never post on TH-cam, but I thought I had to. I had a conversation with my boyfriend about children and he said he would like to.. maybe even now or in a year and I went on a 3 day obsessive thinking about can I really do this - I am not ready - kinda thing, haha. And it's a breath of fresh air to see that raising a baby is hard and I am not crazy. Huge responsibility. Of course, beautiful and you love your children.. but yeah, you wish you could sleep and nobody needed you for a whole night. As I said, you are SO strong!!!!
Thank you so much for watching! And commenting! I truly appreciate it. I will say that I HONESTLY don't know that you ever are completely "ready" to become a parent. Haha but yes it is an equal balance of being hard but also being so so worth it! 🥰 Good luck to you guys in your future!
I think the part of the problem is that women to tend to just “laugh it off” and be apologetic about such challenges. Stop! It’s your right and your feelings, and they are not funny. Totally relate to all you said plus a million more things I could add.
It’s my first time commenting on a TH-cam video because I just had to thank you for sharing this! As a mum of a 17 month old girl I totally relate to everything you mentioned 💕
I hated the 2 yo night terror stage. EVERY HOUR OF EVERY NIGHT FOR A MONTH AND A HALF She would wake up screaming. Then year 3 every night the coughing started. Every night for months she was up past midnight coughing till she threw up. Now I'm on year 4 and onto the classic I'm hungry I'm thirsty I need to potty my tummy hurts I need a teddy bull shit every night. I hate my life I hate mother hood and working 40 hours a week this is bs and the sooner my life is over with the better
I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time! I pray that you find a way to start enjoying life again. I hope that you have people in your life who can help you and if you don't, I hope that you are able to find a community! ❤️
I respect parents, particularly mothers that tell us the reality of raising children, and stand up for childfree women like myself for our choice. I would absolutely LOVE to be the woman that mothers come to when they need a break from their husbands and children, whether it be spa day, shopping, nails/hair done, or just crash and take a nap at my place, or just venting.
Thank you for sharing!!! I 100% agree! I do understand why some people rather stay childfree. I also love being a mom though, even though I hate these aspects - just like you said in the beginning. I love it so much in fact, that I am arguing with my husband over having a third. A lot of these things get easier fast when the toddler years near the end. Your child will sleep through nights eventually, you will find more shared tastes in food, the tantrums ease off and with daycare you get room to breathe and be yourself again. Also they start having friends over/ being at friend's homes and staying in their room to play by themselves the older they get. So, some people genuinely want to live childfree and that is a valid life choice. It is also very valid to choose a life with children and hate aspects or phases of this life's-path (while hopefully loving others).
I totally feel you on no sleep as my baby is 24 months and no sleep for mama yet through the night so I am also waiting. I feel for you mama. Much love!
Love this! I completely agree with everything you said and really love how honest, vulnerable, and real you are. I’m literally watching this as my 16 month old wakes up for the 4th time tonight and I want to pull my hair out 😂😭 I have 3 kids and I think your child’s personality and circumstances also makes a huge difference in how you view and deal with motherhood. It’s a lot of work period but my 2 boys slept through the night from day 1. This made my life so much easier on a daily basis and made motherhood some much easier to enjoy plus they had laid back personalities. Fast forward to now. I’m crazy about my daughter but just like you she has not slept a full night since birth. I’ve never experienced this and could never have been prepared to what it does to you mentally and physically. Exhaustion truly makes you go crazy. My family all lives far away so not having any additional help other than my amazing husband (he helps so much) is hard on both of us. Having an amazing partner can also make a huge difference in how you experience motherhood. My husband and I really team up and get stuff done. I would probably be a mess without our bond and probably wouldn’t feel as positive as I do now even with the stress of parenting and life. My daughter has a very strong aggressive personality which is fun sometimes but man I never really dealt with temper tantrums with my sons and tho hers are short they are still stressful and make going places irritating sometimes because it’s so much work to plan, regulate her emotions as well as my own, and keep her from an outburst. My sons were go with the flow babies, there was no real work involved doing anything. She’s definitely my most difficult child as a baby and toddler however she also brings me a crazy amount of joy. It’s hard to explain but it’s almost like it was a needed challenge for me in some way and keeps me on my toes. I love being a mom and I find it rewarding tho reading the comments, I understand why some don’t. I wouldn’t change my decision for the world. Their bond is beautiful, they’re truly awesome and make me smile thinking about just how special they are in their owns ways and how thankful I am to be their mom. My husband and I are exhausted yes but when you are all piled up on the couch having family movie night or playing games, making traditions together, or spending time together there’s truly nothing like it. You can’t describe the feeling. Being a mom is hard especially when you have little to no support and a more difficult child. But at least for me, the difficult parts are few and short lived plus they do not even come close to fun times. Kids drive you crazy and believe me, I am an absolute monster since I don’t get sleep right now. But it’s just a season that will eventually pass. They do get easier the older they get…well at least my boys did so I’m hoping she does as well. My kids are so worth it for me. But to the people that don’t want kids. Do not let society force you to do it. Do what makes you happy. It’s a huge commitment and should not be taken lightly so if you know it’s not for you….There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. To the woman struggling with kids now, first give yourself some grace. It is difficult and it’s not peaches and cream like people act like it is. If you’re really struggling, try and find some support even if it’s a friend or momma with similar challenges that can relate to you. It will make a world of a difference. More than ever now moms are struggling to do this alone when we used to have a village and ton of support which adds so much to the stress. Finding people who understand can really help ease the stress. You got this ❤
I would absolutely hate to be a mother, I would miss the loss of freedom, being spontaneous, not being able to everywhere with kids, losing me and my identity and just being a generic mombie, being unable to got out properly without baby sitters, being unable to have adult conversations, being unable to make plans as often johnny is sick, the lack of money, the responsbility that it is always your fault if your kids end up being bullies, criminals etc, the pressure to pop out more kids, the expensive cars, housing, childcare.. no thanks! Not all women want to be lumbered with this
Thank you for being honest with us!! Its really good to be honest. I remember talking with my grandmother when i was single and worried i was not gonna find a partner or kids, she would tell me you don´t have to get married or have children, you really don´t have to. I think what she was saying is, its also hard work and there is no reason to think you should do that to feel ´normal´or good or complete in life. I am 38 years old now and I can honestly say i love my own time and freedom. Sometimes i get sad feelings and think about my age and when i become older if i will feel lonely without children. But at the same time i am so happy i don´t have the responsibility of having children.
Thank you so much for your comment! And I am so glad that your grandmother gave you that advice! I feel like it is so rare to hear and I LOVE that it happened for you. ♥
I’m in the same boat I am worried I will regret it later. But I think there is regret either way. I think I would be a good mom but I know in my heart I would be resentful of losing my independence and career
Thank you for being so brave to talk about it on your channel and for being so truthful about it - when I merely mentioned the hardship to my friends - I get judged as if I’m the worst mother especially by people who never had a child and would never understand the difficulties and stress of it all
YES! This journey is different for everyone. I hate that the "normal" mentality around things is that if they don't feel the same.. That means you're wrong. It shouldn't be that way... I truly appreciate your comment and I completely agree with you!
I’m so sorry you’re going thru all this. I’m childfree and having a baby just does not seem worth it. Especially when your baby turns into a rude, bratty teenager lol. No thanks. I wish you all the best!! I hope you can start sleeping soon ❤️🩹
Nothing makes me question my sanity more than my relationship with motherhood. Lately it has been much more triggering than fulfilling. I would 100% not have had my child if I knew how much of a struggle our life would be/ is. I'm finally at a place where I've accepted that as part of my truth, not the whole truth, and I'm not ashamed to say that. And it's ok if it's part of your truth too. Bc there's plenty of positive parts to my truth, I'm a great mom in many ways and on most days, even if I don't want to be. But not admitting to your truth to yourself creates a personal hell and I'm glad we can all give ourselves and each other space to feel a full range of emotions.
I hear ya, and I was in a personal hell, until I started venting on these platforms, it's really helped. There's at least less profanity than there used to be, but before, I would hold it all in because I had nobody to talk to about how I felt. I don't have friends anymore, thanks to being a mom, and they were childfree, lucky them.
I didn't need to, as I did numerous babysitting jobs from the beginning of my teens to the end of them, and all ages, from infant to teen, so I already knew what a nightmare it was, that's why I wasn't in a hurry to have them right away.
🥺I don’t have children & I have 1,000 reasons why I don’t want any. I love the freedom I have etc! Selfish or not but I don’t want to be stuck with the kid for 18 years. I don’t want to travel & have to worry abt the child. I just wanna do me live my purpose & be happy. I’ve picked names out for my girls. But now as I get older I realize I wanna be succesful & the life I want doesn’t include children. Have I imagine yes I wanna get married but I’m also at a point of uncertainty in being a mom. I don’t want to put my well-being on the back burner. And have to make my kid a priority. It’s just not for me. And maybe I’ll meet someone but I seriously think abt it & I can’t even take care of myself
I also don’t see any benefits in having children. Like there’s no benefits the only thing I see is that congrats you are a mom you did the one thing society as a whole automatically thinks you have to do in order to have any value & fuck that BS. I respect women that are mothers, childless women that won’t ever biologically be able to carry a child, child free women, mothers who’ve lost kids to miscarriages, stillborn etc! But for me it’s not me
Being a mother it’s hard it totally changes your life in so many ways it’s the most difficult job that there’s no school to teach you don’t feel guilty I hate being a mom too lots of mom aren’t happy they just don’t say it
@@taylormichael. lol yeah I bet! There is a difference. Childfree is someone that doesn’t not want children ever. Childless is someone that wants children but can’t have children
Ohhh goodness!! You poor thing! 😂 I hope you're getting some sleep now! But that is awesome that you have 3 daughters and so great you were able to power through. ☺️
@@taylormichael. Thank you :) Yeah, my two older daughters used to wake me up every 2 hours for one year each. My third is now 10 months old and actually gives me around 3 to 4 hours before she wakes up for the first time at night, so I can recharge quite a bit better this time x) I hope you're able to get a bit more sleep by now too :)
@@idotgotitme3280 A few years ago, I'd have agreed with you. I was the type of person who slept till 10 AM on a day off x) But now, if I had to decide between sleeping longer/through the night or waking up several times and then early in the morning with a smiling face next to me, saying "Mommy!" first thing in the morning... Screw sleeping! I'll stick with my adorable girls :)
If I were a man, I think I'd want kids. But, as a woman I'm glad I opted not to have kids. I'm 51 and never had a single day, a moment of regret. Being a mom is really tiring when they are babies, but the lack of sleep for other reasons like worrying where they are, why aren't they home yet. So, yeah, it's not just when they are babies. Not even when they turn 18.
Oh just wait until they become adults. The constant demands for money, the wacky decisions they make about who to hang around with, where to work, who to marry. And caring for you when older? Forget it.
Yep, my husband is a wonderful and very involved dad, and he helps with so, so much. These things are not solely struggles that mothers deal with, dads also have to adjust to the changes as well. That said, I would never want to put words in his mouth, so in this video I stuck to the things I was struggling with at the time, but he was right there with me just as tired and with just as many changes made in his life as well. We are in a totally different season now, with MUCH more rest. haha. ❤ But I really appreciate you being here and thanks so much for commenting.
@@kolaas2006 yes and no. This is something I didn’t know. My dad was extremely involved when I was a kid. He did almost everything for us my mom has a few issues she was battling. But when they are babies, I have a 6 month old now, they just want you sometimes. Or dad doesn’t know what to do and is asking you lots of questions on your break time. Mom is expected to do way more than dad. You just spend time with baby and are called a good dad. For me it’s, he needs his ears cleaned, his nails need to be cut, I wonder if you are over feeding him he’s spit up a lot, oh he’s a bit orange does he have jaundice I could go on and on. I think I hear more criticism from certain people more than I do praise. Of course I can only speak as a mom because that’s what I am now.
Are majority of you ladies that hate motherhood single mothers? I’m taking a poll and I’d really like to know. Those that hate being a mother are you or are you not single parents?
I am still legally married to my husband. He took off when the boys were very young. I hate motherhood with a passion. I would rather suffer from cancer or other debilitating illness. If I could push a button and obliterate ever being a mother, I would.
@@rarejewel9678 Yeah wouldn't that be nice, but also, is having the kids the reason the father walked out, since kids can cause so much tension in a marriage?
@@idotgotitme3280 Now that I reflect on it, I know he had every intention of leaving before the kids came. You see, he didn't marry me because he loved me or wanted to. He hardly knew me. We were forced into marriage by the cult we were in. Then when the kids came, that was just an added burden and financial responsibility. When he left, I was ex-communicated with the kids. A woman who gets left by her husband (even if it is not her fault) is considered a pariah and is shunned. I'm glad though. At least I am free from those psychos now. I just have to get through with getting these boys to 18, then I'm really free.
I love my child, but if I could do it all over again I would opt for childless. It's so much work and stress that is placed on me as a mother.
Thank you for sharing. 🧡 Yes, I totally understand the stress and work, if is soo much more than you can ever be prepared for!
Me too KStay Blessed 😔
* Childfree not childless
Oh, I so agree 😔
FashionGlobally. I'm sorry to hear your mother isn't treating you or your family right. No person less on mother should treat people poorly.
Motherhood has literally given me health issues. The stress and anxiety on a daily basis, the noise, the extent that they need you and the extent of how long they need you for…”kids just being kids” takes the enjoyment out of being a parent. I regret becoming a mother every single day. It’s not worth it, what it takes away from us and our own life and our own “person”, parenting is just not worth it. It’s too much. Childbirth alone is pure hell. It’s just constantly 95% unfair, and we are raised to believe that 5% is worth it. No, it’s kinda not.
yes, as a childfree person, i don't understand why you chose this lifestyle, everyone knows it is going to be stressful and painful. we are always moaned about by parents who say we are selfish for choosing a less stressfree lifestyle. a lot of women think having kids is all rainbows and unicorns, and childbirth is worth the pain of having kids. more parents should say it is crap
How many kids you have ?? Don’t have more kids are for ever thanks for being so honest
@@beaulieuc8910I couldn’t agree more. I’m child free myself
As a childfree person I REALLY REALLY appreciate this video so much!❤️
Thank you. I'm glad you're here! ❤ Thank you for watching!
Lol. Welcome to motherhood. Wait until your teen daughter says she hates you. What a joy. She will later say she’s sorry but man, it crushes you when it’s said.
Yes my son’s words totally crushes me sometimes - like I know he’s a kid and I can’t expect him to behave like an adult but it’s the feeling that you tried your hardest and try do the best for him but in return he didn’t appreciate it. Just yday he threaten to run away from home because I asked him to finish his soup and he’s only 7! Lol 😂
It’s refreshing to see a mom be honest! No one should go into motherhood with the unrealistic expectations that currently exist. And childfree people shouldn’t have to explain their choice over and over again. We all benefit from honesty & transparency❤
Thank you so much! I completely agree!
exactly, we are made to feel selfish as we have really thought about the disadvantages of having kids and are expected to think it is all rainbows and unicorns
I am autistic and could never handle any of this and yet I am shammed for being selfish for not bringing a child in the world with an incompetent mother.
Don't let anyone make you feel selfish for making a decision that you think is right for you! I hate that it is such a stigma about what we should all grow up to be.. I wish you well and I hope that you are able to do what will make you happy in life! 🤍
well said. so sick of parents saying we should have kids so they are forced to look after us in old age, to continue the family name. Most parents do not think of the disadvantages of popping out kids
don't let anyone prove you wrong if you wanted to bring a child in the world you would do fine with love and support I even struggle
There was a time where it was really hard on us watching everyone having babies… we struggled with infertility for 6 years- it was such a hard time and i thought i could never be happy again.
But now that i see them all struggling with all the things that come with having kids- i so started loving my childless/ childfree life!!! I‘m always put together ( hair, nails, clothes, make up etc), i get all the sleep i want anytime, i can work fulltime and i love my job, i love having the money for myself to get myself nice things, we get to go on nice vacations anytime we want, the house is always calm and clean, i can have drinks whenever, i only have responsibility for myself…and the list goes on. 🎉 you sure love your kids, but you also give your whole own life away for their needs.
Yes. Don't feel like that. Wish them well. We struggle now. But they are growing up. It's a special feeling. I'm 38, lawyer, 3 boys and always put together. Work 5/7 from home sometimes. My husband helps too. Your infertility was a sign of God and yes u can enjoy life without children😊
@@not-even-german4892 thank you for you kind words! Appreciate them so so much!!🥹
I am glad I have childfree friends to go out with at 58, we recently had the gas network cut off as they are old pipes and the gas company were offering to pay for a hotel room but there was no room for our neighbours who had several kids and 2 dogs and a cat. They have had no hot water etc for 2 weeks as they were unable to be put up easily. I love my naps whenever I want. I have meaning of life too with various volunteer activities. I don't understand why anyone would want to be a caregiver as a hobby
Being a mother is the absolute WORST mistake and regret of my life. I would sell my soul to be childfree again. ☹😭
I am so sorry that you feel this way. ❤ I wish there was something more I could do to help you, but I I hope that you know you're not alone in your feelings.. And I'm glad that you're here.
Yeah, you and me both 👍😧
Wow, dang! Thank you for your blunt honesty.
It's unbelievable the amount of people who feel this way, and reassures me that not having kids is the rightdecision!
@@taylormichael. We all can help, we can support legislation that helps out women.
I have no one to share these sentiments with. I can't even be free to feel the full range of my emotions in truth and vulnerability. Thank you for creating a space for these veey real sentiments! My daughter is 8. It is getting more and more complex. My daughtwr is also very affectionate and I am too but sometimes I am absolutely TOUCHED OUT. It feels like she wants to drink all my energy! Yes I love my child obviously and it hurts that I feel the need to say that for fear of being judged!
I completely understand these feelings!! I'm so happy that you found this space to share! 💕
It's lie they're vampires
not all parents love their kids, so it is not obvious, many abuse or kill them, they are a burden.
I recently got off the fence and committed to being CF after watching this kind of content. Parenthood literally would be my worst hell on every level. I used to just think “oh everyone does it, it’s fine”. I wish more people would engage in serious critical thinking and research before having kids. I’m positive I would be an unintentionally abusive parent and the world needs less of that. It would be self abuse too because I know I’m so ill suited to parenthood.
I honestly feel like she's holding back a lot.Maybe she doesn't want to get someone's feelings hurt by the definite truth. I get it though. I'm glad she shared her truth.
Thank you for your comment. There is actually a Part 2 to this where I go a little deeper than this video does. I personally don't feel that I held anything back in the 2 videos as a whole, but understand how you could think that. Thank you for watching!
@@taylormichael. I actually think it takes wisdom to not say everything you feel at the moment because feelings are so temporary but sometimes words cannot be taken back. I commend you for sharing this with us within your acceptable limits.I will look out for part 2. Thanks again.
Thank you so much! 💗 I truly appreciate your comment.
Why shouldent people say they dont like to be a mum. Its not for everybody.
Yes, I completely agree! I DO think people should be able to say they don't like it and it definitely isn't for everyone.
That is the reason I made this video is so that if there is someone out there who feels this way, they know they aren't alone in the feeling and that it is okay..
Because the second a parent complains about any aspect of raising a kid they are degraded cursed at labeled an abuser or of course the classic "well you chose this".
@@taylormichael. You're not alone. "Not for everyone" is a stupid comment, honestly. Things like chronic sleep deprivation are not for ANYONE. If someone says they enjoy chronic exhaustion and restriction I posit that something is either wrong with them or they are lying.
@@Hazeldays313 Which is total BS because accidents can happen, and if it's an accident, then we didn't choose it, it was basically forced on us.
exactly, I don't want to be a mother. would hate to lose my identity and freedom and wouldnt want to bring suffering and death to a kid. most parents aren't bothered by loss of freedom, and bringing suffering to the kid, they just want to have people forced to look after them in old age and so they they aren't lonely.
Yup, staying child free lol
great
I'm a father and can sign up to every word!
It's a lot of work.
It's a serious life choice because lets be honest - the life will never be the same again.
Damn straight, especially when most fathers (not saying you) expect the mom will do the majority of the work cause she has the food bank built in and they're such drama queens if they have to change a diaper (again, not saying you) but my husband made gagging noises if he was confronted with a dirty diaper, not so much when it's just wet, but still, sheesh 😬
Girl are you ok? I feel like there is so much distress behind your smiles and laughter in this vid. Hope you can get a day off soon
She needs some annual leave for the sake of her sanity.
Hello! Yes I am very much okay! ☺️
I would not say that "distress" is the word I would use; but definitely exhaustion.. we have officially moved into a new season with some actual sleep in the mix as well as the changes slowing down a bit. 😅 I appreciate you both. 💗
@@taylormichael. Glad to hear you finally got some sleep.
@@connie27100 I could have an entire month off, and it still wouldn't be enough. 😔
So many women appreciate you being vulnerable and honest. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing 💜 you have no idea how much this means to so many of us.
All of this sound like a complete nightmare, not just "oh well, inconveniences of motherhood". I just honestly can't.
Same, it sounds relentlessly hard.
Trust me, it is 😔
@@idotgotitme3280 why did you choose to do it in the first place? Did you have expectations that it would be different?
@@powderandpaint14 No, just pressured into having them way sooner than I wanted, so subsequently it ruined everything I wanted to experience before that happened, like career, travel, social life etc. If things don't happen in the right order, then it just doesn't happen, ever.
@@idotgotitme3280 no that's not true, you can start a career or travel at any age now!
I really appreciate your honesty in this video. I feel like a lot of people can potentially romanticize parenthood and it’s nice to see someone be able to share the challenges while also still acknowledging they love their child 💜
Thank you so much! I truly appreciate your comment. ♥️
I'm CF by choice but have done my share of childcare with family. The drudgery and most of all - repetition drove me nuts. Its ok to say "I love my child but hate parenting".
Rich people have got it spot on - nannies!
Yes! The repetition is so rough! 😫
and not all parents love their kid, they often use them to help pay for them in old age or look after them, or someone to inherit money instead of animal welfare etc
Rich people who adopt (and hire nannies) are doing it the right way because pregnancy is hell and childbirth is hell and the planet is already overpopulated!
Thank you for sharing this. It finally makes me not feel so crazy about my worries about motherhood. I know the baby is the world, but there is truth in the fact that being a mother is not always pleasant! Like it's shown in movies and whatever... You are so incredibly strong. I never post on TH-cam, but I thought I had to. I had a conversation with my boyfriend about children and he said he would like to.. maybe even now or in a year and I went on a 3 day obsessive thinking about can I really do this - I am not ready - kinda thing, haha. And it's a breath of fresh air to see that raising a baby is hard and I am not crazy. Huge responsibility. Of course, beautiful and you love your children.. but yeah, you wish you could sleep and nobody needed you for a whole night. As I said, you are SO strong!!!!
Thank you so much for watching! And commenting! I truly appreciate it. I will say that I HONESTLY don't know that you ever are completely "ready" to become a parent. Haha but yes it is an equal balance of being hard but also being so so worth it! 🥰 Good luck to you guys in your future!
I think the part of the problem is that women to tend to just “laugh it off” and be apologetic about such challenges. Stop! It’s your right and your feelings, and they are not funny.
Totally relate to all you said plus a million more things I could add.
Yes, agreed! Thank you for your comment!
It’s my first time commenting on a TH-cam video because I just had to thank you for sharing this! As a mum of a 17 month old girl I totally relate to everything you mentioned 💕
Thank you so much for watching and commenting.. I really appreciate and love hearing from people who can relate!
as a childfree person, we already knew it was going to be awful, we dodged a bullet but we are always told we are selfish not having kids by parents
I hated the 2 yo night terror stage. EVERY HOUR OF EVERY NIGHT FOR A MONTH AND A HALF She would wake up screaming. Then year 3 every night the coughing started. Every night for months she was up past midnight coughing till she threw up. Now I'm on year 4 and onto the classic I'm hungry I'm thirsty I need to potty my tummy hurts I need a teddy bull shit every night. I hate my life I hate mother hood and working 40 hours a week this is bs and the sooner my life is over with the better
I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time! I pray that you find a way to start enjoying life again. I hope that you have people in your life who can help you and if you don't, I hope that you are able to find a community! ❤️
Or at least as soon as the kid gets old enough to not be a pain in the ass anymore 😝😭😪
It would be worse if you didn't work. Vampires.
Sleep is HUGE! I’m a very sensitive to sleep deprivation too
Yes!! Agreed! Lack of sleep makes EVERYTHING harder. haha
I respect parents, particularly mothers that tell us the reality of raising children, and stand up for childfree women like myself for our choice. I would absolutely LOVE to be the woman that mothers come to when they need a break from their husbands and children, whether it be spa day, shopping, nails/hair done, or just crash and take a nap at my place, or just venting.
Thank you for sharing!!! I 100% agree!
I do understand why some people rather stay childfree.
I also love being a mom though, even though I hate these aspects - just like you said in the beginning. I love it so much in fact, that I am arguing with my husband over having a third.
A lot of these things get easier fast when the toddler years near the end. Your child will sleep through nights eventually, you will find more shared tastes in food, the tantrums ease off and with daycare you get room to breathe and be yourself again. Also they start having friends over/ being at friend's homes and staying in their room to play by themselves the older they get.
So, some people genuinely want to live childfree and that is a valid life choice. It is also very valid to choose a life with children and hate aspects or phases of this life's-path (while hopefully loving others).
thank you so much for this! I truly appreciate hearing the perspective of someone who's been through it and came out the other side!
I totally feel you on no sleep as my baby is 24 months and no sleep for mama yet through the night so I am also waiting. I feel for you mama. Much love!
What makes it harder is all the criticism from people that know you are struggling saying how bad you are doing.
Thank you for the honesty. It will help a lot of other women. ❤
Thank you. 💕
Love this! I completely agree with everything you said and really love how honest, vulnerable, and real you are. I’m literally watching this as my 16 month old wakes up for the 4th time tonight and I want to pull my hair out 😂😭
I have 3 kids and I think your child’s personality and circumstances also makes a huge difference in how you view and deal with motherhood. It’s a lot of work period but my 2 boys slept through the night from day 1. This made my life so much easier on a daily basis and made motherhood some much easier to enjoy plus they had laid back personalities.
Fast forward to now. I’m crazy about my daughter but just like you she has not slept a full night since birth. I’ve never experienced this and could never have been prepared to what it does to you mentally and physically. Exhaustion truly makes you go crazy. My family all lives far away so not having any additional help other than my amazing husband (he helps so much) is hard on both of us. Having an amazing partner can also make a huge difference in how you experience motherhood. My husband and I really team up and get stuff done. I would probably be a mess without our bond and probably wouldn’t feel as positive as I do now even with the stress of parenting and life.
My daughter has a very strong aggressive personality which is fun sometimes but man I never really dealt with temper tantrums with my sons and tho hers are short they are still stressful and make going places irritating sometimes because it’s so much work to plan, regulate her emotions as well as my own, and keep her from an outburst. My sons were go with the flow babies, there was no real work involved doing anything.
She’s definitely my most difficult child as a baby and toddler however she also brings me a crazy amount of joy. It’s hard to explain but it’s almost like it was a needed challenge for me in some way and keeps me on my toes.
I love being a mom and I find it rewarding tho reading the comments, I understand why some don’t. I wouldn’t change my decision for the world. Their bond is beautiful, they’re truly awesome and make me smile thinking about just how special they are in their owns ways and how thankful I am to be their mom. My husband and I are exhausted yes but when you are all piled up on the couch having family movie night or playing games, making traditions together, or spending time together there’s truly nothing like it. You can’t describe the feeling.
Being a mom is hard especially when you have little to no support and a more difficult child. But at least for me, the difficult parts are few and short lived plus they do not even come close to fun times.
Kids drive you crazy and believe me, I am an absolute monster since I don’t get sleep right now. But it’s just a season that will eventually pass. They do get easier the older they get…well at least my boys did so I’m hoping she does as well. My kids are so worth it for me. But to the people that don’t want kids. Do not let society force you to do it. Do what makes you happy. It’s a huge commitment and should not be taken lightly so if you know it’s not for you….There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
To the woman struggling with kids now, first give yourself some grace. It is difficult and it’s not peaches and cream like people act like it is. If you’re really struggling, try and find some support even if it’s a friend or momma with similar challenges that can relate to you. It will make a world of a difference. More than ever now moms are struggling to do this alone when we used to have a village and ton of support which adds so much to the stress. Finding people who understand can really help ease the stress. You got this ❤
Thank you for the beautiful comment. ♥️ I couldn't have said it better myself.
Before anyone has a child they should be aware that many kids do not sleep through the night until the age of 4 or beyond!
Thank God my sons did as of 7 weeks old 🎉🎉🎉🎉
@@not-even-german4892 that's amazing, only 7 weeks?
@@not-even-german4892why are you on every comment
Thank you for your truth. This is necessary in this space❤
I would absolutely hate to be a mother, I would miss the loss of freedom, being spontaneous, not being able to everywhere with kids, losing me and my identity and just being a generic mombie, being unable to got out properly without baby sitters, being unable to have adult conversations, being unable to make plans as often johnny is sick, the lack of money, the responsbility that it is always your fault if your kids end up being bullies, criminals etc, the pressure to pop out more kids, the expensive cars, housing, childcare.. no thanks! Not all women want to be lumbered with this
You forgot something...When people say "Oh you have a child, when are you gonna have another?"🤬
YESS!!!! I hate this!!
@@taylormichael. Your baby is adorable.
Thank you so much! 😄
Thank you for being honest with us!! Its really good to be honest. I remember talking with my grandmother when i was single and worried i was not gonna find a partner or kids, she would tell me you don´t have to get married or have children, you really don´t have to. I think what she was saying is, its also hard work and there is no reason to think you should do that to feel ´normal´or good or complete in life. I am 38 years old now and I can honestly say i love my own time and freedom. Sometimes i get sad feelings and think about my age and when i become older if i will feel lonely without children. But at the same time i am so happy i don´t have the responsibility of having children.
Thank you so much for your comment! And I am so glad that your grandmother gave you that advice! I feel like it is so rare to hear and I LOVE that it happened for you. ♥
I’m in the same boat I am worried I will regret it later. But I think there is regret either way. I think I would be a good mom but I know in my heart I would be resentful of losing my independence and career
Thank you for being so brave to talk about it on your channel and for being so truthful about it - when I merely mentioned the hardship to my friends - I get judged as if I’m the worst mother especially by people who never had a child and would never understand the difficulties and stress of it all
YES! This journey is different for everyone. I hate that the "normal" mentality around things is that if they don't feel the same.. That means you're wrong. It shouldn't be that way... I truly appreciate your comment and I completely agree with you!
I’m so sorry you’re going thru all this. I’m childfree and having a baby just does not seem worth it. Especially when your baby turns into a rude, bratty teenager lol. No thanks. I wish you all the best!! I hope you can start sleeping soon ❤️🩹
Haha thank you so much! We actually are sleeping better at this point.. ☺️ we are both doing much better now.
@@taylormichael. That makes me so happy to hear!! I keep thinking about you since I watched this video. Sending you lots of love 😍🥰
@@sahd0w thank you so much! I really appreciate it! You're so sweet, and we're sending lots of love right back! ❤
Nothing makes me question my sanity more than my relationship with motherhood. Lately it has been much more triggering than fulfilling. I would 100% not have had my child if I knew how much of a struggle our life would be/ is. I'm finally at a place where I've accepted that as part of my truth, not the whole truth, and I'm not ashamed to say that. And it's ok if it's part of your truth too. Bc there's plenty of positive parts to my truth, I'm a great mom in many ways and on most days, even if I don't want to be. But not admitting to your truth to yourself creates a personal hell and I'm glad we can all give ourselves and each other space to feel a full range of emotions.
I hear ya, and I was in a personal hell, until I started venting on these platforms, it's really helped. There's at least less profanity than there used to be, but before, I would hold it all in because I had nobody to talk to about how I felt. I don't have friends anymore, thanks to being a mom, and they were childfree, lucky them.
@@idotgotitme3280 😕❤️ I understand. I hope you meet some mom friends.
Thank you for sharing this❤
You are so welcome! ❤️
Thank you for watching!
I am a bit on the fence but as a person who has been through insomnia the lack of sleep aspect scares me so much.
Honestly, in my opinion the lack of sleep was the hardest part.. but I can honestly say now being on the other side of it... It was TOTALLY worth it!
These are the things I would encourage any woman to find out BEFORE becoming a mom. Talk to mothers and get info so that u make informed decisions.
They will NEVER tell you the truth.
@@elyse443 What do you want to know?
I didn't need to, as I did numerous babysitting jobs from the beginning of my teens to the end of them, and all ages, from infant to teen, so I already knew what a nightmare it was, that's why I wasn't in a hurry to have them right away.
Also, shoutout to my fellow Midwestern girl lol pop gang!
Hahaha 😂 always forget that calling it pop isn't a universal thing..
🥺I don’t have children & I have 1,000 reasons why I don’t want any. I love the freedom I have etc! Selfish or not but I don’t want to be stuck with the kid for 18 years. I don’t want to travel & have to worry abt the child. I just wanna do me live my purpose & be happy. I’ve picked names out for my girls. But now as I get older I realize I wanna be succesful & the life I want doesn’t include children. Have I imagine yes I wanna get married but I’m also at a point of uncertainty in being a mom. I don’t want to put my well-being on the back burner. And have to make my kid a priority. It’s just not for me. And maybe I’ll meet someone but I seriously think abt it & I can’t even take care of myself
I also don’t see any benefits in having children. Like there’s no benefits the only thing I see is that congrats you are a mom you did the one thing society as a whole automatically thinks you have to do in order to have any value & fuck that BS. I respect women that are mothers, childless women that won’t ever biologically be able to carry a child, child free women, mothers who’ve lost kids to miscarriages, stillborn etc! But for me it’s not me
Thank you❤️
You are so very welcome! Thank YOU!💗
Yes l was born completely without any material instinct!!!
I questioned mine for a long, long time before I had my daughter. haha
Thank you for your honesty ❤
Thank you for being here!
Being a mother it’s hard it totally changes your life in so many ways it’s the most difficult job that there’s no school to teach you don’t feel guilty I hate being a mom too lots of mom aren’t happy they just don’t say it
Childfree not childless❤️
Haha.. I have a coworker that says this ALL the time!
@@taylormichael. lol yeah I bet! There is a difference. Childfree is someone that doesn’t not want children ever. Childless is someone that wants children but can’t have children
Yoh speaking of not having enough sleep 😅
Love the honesty.
You got this mama !!
I'm the mother of three adorable daughters and I didn't sleep through a full night for 5 years xD
Ohhh goodness!! You poor thing! 😂 I hope you're getting some sleep now! But that is awesome that you have 3 daughters and so great you were able to power through. ☺️
@@taylormichael. Thank you :) Yeah, my two older daughters used to wake me up every 2 hours for one year each. My third is now 10 months old and actually gives me around 3 to 4 hours before she wakes up for the first time at night, so I can recharge quite a bit better this time x) I hope you're able to get a bit more sleep by now too :)
Ugh, nightmare 😠😭
@@idotgotitme3280 A few years ago, I'd have agreed with you. I was the type of person who slept till 10 AM on a day off x)
But now, if I had to decide between sleeping longer/through the night or waking up several times and then early in the morning with a smiling face next to me, saying "Mommy!" first thing in the morning... Screw sleeping! I'll stick with my adorable girls :)
@@EvilSinx Not me, if I could have a do over, my accident wouldn't have happened 🙊🙉🙈
I tell my kid you will not have sleep for at least 3 years if you have a baby. Then you will have a type of worry you will only know as a parent
Yes!!! I totally agree with this!
@@taylormichael. thank you 😊 good morning !
@@nikicarrie4071 good morning! ☺️
You’re an awesome 😎 TH-cam channel.
my ma would straight ignore me if i threw tantrums or cried as a baby lol
If I were a man, I think I'd want kids. But, as a woman I'm glad I opted not to have kids. I'm 51 and never had a single day, a moment of regret. Being a mom is really tiring when they are babies, but the lack of sleep for other reasons like worrying where they are, why aren't they home yet. So, yeah, it's not just when they are babies. Not even when they turn 18.
Oh just wait until they become adults. The constant demands for money, the wacky decisions they make about who to hang around with, where to work, who to marry. And caring for you when older? Forget it.
I’m sorry mama but what about dad? If he is in the picture, he should be helping out.
Yep, my husband is a wonderful and very involved dad, and he helps with so, so much. These things are not solely struggles that mothers deal with, dads also have to adjust to the changes as well. That said, I would never want to put words in his mouth, so in this video I stuck to the things I was struggling with at the time, but he was right there with me just as tired and with just as many changes made in his life as well. We are in a totally different season now, with MUCH more rest. haha. ❤ But I really appreciate you being here and thanks so much for commenting.
Glad I was born a male..
Lol I can understand that but I’ve heard some males state that they’ve been pressured to start a family. That is crazy. People need to mind their own.
I'll bet 😁
Most applies to dads as well.
@@kolaas2006 yes and no. This is something I didn’t know. My dad was extremely involved when I was a kid. He did almost everything for us my mom has a few issues she was battling. But when they are babies, I have a 6 month old now, they just want you sometimes. Or dad doesn’t know what to do and is asking you lots of questions on your break time. Mom is expected to do way more than dad. You just spend time with baby and are called a good dad. For me it’s, he needs his ears cleaned, his nails need to be cut, I wonder if you are over feeding him he’s spit up a lot, oh he’s a bit orange does he have jaundice I could go on and on. I think I hear more criticism from certain people more than I do praise. Of course I can only speak as a mom because that’s what I am now.
Are majority of you ladies that hate motherhood single mothers? I’m taking a poll and I’d really like to know. Those that hate being a mother are you or are you not single parents?
no...i am a married woman...with a supportive husband. but hate motherhood.
@@nondumisogasser7155 Same, me too 😊
I am still legally married to my husband. He took off when the boys were very young. I hate motherhood with a passion. I would rather suffer from cancer or other debilitating illness. If I could push a button and obliterate ever being a mother, I would.
@@rarejewel9678 Yeah wouldn't that be nice, but also, is having the kids the reason the father walked out, since kids can cause so much tension in a marriage?
@@idotgotitme3280 Now that I reflect on it, I know he had every intention of leaving before the kids came. You see, he didn't marry me because he loved me or wanted to. He hardly knew me. We were forced into marriage by the cult we were in. Then when the kids came, that was just an added burden and financial responsibility. When he left, I was ex-communicated with the kids. A woman who gets left by her husband (even if it is not her fault) is considered a pariah and is shunned. I'm glad though. At least I am free from those psychos now. I just have to get through with getting these boys to 18, then I'm really free.