Should I let them know I have taken exlax for constipation, and will I get disqualified for lying about not taking any substances like exlax? I go to meps next Thursday.
I had hooked on phonics as a kid. Remember the huge, heavy, gray or off-white CRT monitors and windows ME? That's what I used. Going out to blockbuster to get power rangers tapes as a kid. I miss the early 2000s sometimes.
MEPS during wartime: You look reasonably humanoid and alive, pass MEPS during peacetime: unless you got the brain of Einstein, the body of Superman and the moral code of Mr. Rogers don’t even bother
My friend just got a dq for testicle cancer. So he has to get his balls checked by a doctor and come back. I went on the first and second of the month and holy shit i shouldve been dq for the shit i did.
Last time I was at MEPS there was this kid that came out of the sound booth bragging that the dr had never known anyone with such perfect hearing. I asked him what his MOS was going to be and he said artillery. I laughed and said “ kiss your perfect hearing goodbye “...
@@WRMonger1 I had "above average hearing" I dont think there's such thing as perfect hearing unless he walked into that sound booth and could hear the chinese talking about nukes
Jerod Rumney MEPS isn't scary at all just be confident and follow instructions and you'll be fine...ig your experience also depends on the mood of the employees too but if you listen there wont be any problems, the doctors aren't even scary either at least from my perspective
Thanks I understand that joke now. I took the ASVAB on Wednesday and I asked the person watching us test if I got the right test because I was supposed to be taking the Picat verification test and I kept on seeing CAT ASVAB. He responded to me with "I know how to do my job! Are you trying to tell me how to do my job?" I just replied with "no sir". Man they were cranky there. It was hard to understand what they were saying too because they would say it too quick.
Jerod Rumney 💀💀 yea well the MEPS @ Fort Meade has some characters in it as well but if you got a good personality 9/10 the ppl will treat you nice and talk to you like a normal person just don't take it personal if it seems like they bossing you around cus at the end of the day thats the military
@@brandonduckworth154 1 of the enlisted doctors called me "slow" like I'm retarded. Like give me a break man it's 5 am and I only got like 3 hours of sleep 😂
My MEPS doctor didn't speak English very well and he talked super fucking fast. Doc: I need you to answer just yes or no, okay? Me: Yes, sir. Doc: SOIFAJOSPDIBJIAPSHDA Me: ...Yes? Doc: YOU'VE DONE DRUGS?! Me: No?
my meps doc was just some old guy who just signed everything on my forms, did his checking of my body, signed some more things, looked at me, said good luck, and I went to swear in 2 hours later.
"Now it dont matter what your recruiter told you to say. Tell us the truth I can help you easy. Just tell me or the FBI will be further up your ass than the guy behind you when you go to prison for lying"
walter80922 I did the same . I joined the week after 9/11 and they barely even examined us . I basically lied about everything and got pushed right thru!
lmao when I went to meps the doctor asked me, "when's the last time you've smoked weed?" I said never. Then she was like, "You know the blood test we did can see all the drugs you've done in the past year, better come clean buddy." The amount of BS that they spew is unreal.
a m i didnt need a waiver to get in when i told them i smoked in the past, all they do is bust your balls the whole time with a shit ton of more questions about why you smoked it an give you shit every time they see that you put have smoked in the past its super tricky how they question you too when they find out or know you have smoked weed and itll be on record the whole time you are in so the military probably will question you a lot more and assume things on you compared to everybody who didnt put they have smoked or just plain lied that they havnt but did, but that was my experience just dont even bring it up lol itll make it harder for you to get in it can definitely change how they look at you too an not in a good way they looked at me like a rule breaker and i dont follow laws, they kinda look at you like a might be fuck up who doesnt listen a possible danger to others the doctor also told me that
@@ZeR-rm1pf this is exactly why I said no to every question. To anyone reading this: SAY NO SAY NO SAY NO. Your recruiter will tell you they're in on a a drug waiver, the liaison will say they're in on a waiver, etc. True or not, you say NO and shut your damn trap. If you're a shit liar, tell them about the couple times you drank underage and you'll appear less suspicious.
3 years ago, he grabbed my balls and asked me to caught. He asked me if I meant to join the navy. I asked, "why?". He said he guessed so because I maintained eye contact.
I joined a few years after 9/11. MEPS passed me no problem despite flat feet, scoliosis, and a high heart rate. One of the guys I went to MEPS with that day said he had to get a waiver cuz he failed the ASVAB 3 times. I kinda feel, looking back, that neither of us should have got in but those were the good old days I guess.
PVT Joker, be prepared for a day of standing in line, sitting in line, doing paperwork, answering questions, and having some pissed off old doc examine your junk. Best part of the fuckin day right there.
Private Joker- I can't tell you what to do, but I don't recommend lying in general. Use common sense. Some shit you can probably get away with, but if you hide arrests of any kind, criminal history of any kind, or medical history, you can get kicked out for fraudulent enlistment and they never let you in again. Not trying to scare you but I saw it happen to guys, they lied at MEPS and got kicked out later when the service found out. Also, you recruiter doesn't lose if you get caught for lying at any point from MEPS onward. You lose. They grant waivers for all kinds of shit, a lot of stuff just needs to be documented. I'm not saying tell em fuckin everything but they don't forgive if you get caught after lying to them.
Jurassic0Al my medical record says "SUSPECTED seizure" but on every test nothing came up, all tests didn't show anything and I've been fine ever since and before, never had anything like that, and it was over a year ago....what do u think?
After the third signature of "If you're hiding something we will find it" and MEPS _still_ not finding anything, I knew they couldn't do anything. I was connecting the dots the moment I left the bus and got in the door after the hotel.
On the questionnaire they give you at MEPS there is a column with a lot of BS "yes or no" questions that everyone should say no to, but in the middle of them there is a question that says "Are you currently in good health?", so if you're mindlessly skimming through it and mark no for that one as well, then you get interrogated by the doctors and you'll probably get sent home. That's all it takes. I swear that is the first question they look at when you hand back the sheet.
@@krisramos407 they waited until after you filled it out at my MEPS station. Then they said "write down why you bubbled no if you did, do you have a cough, a headache, cold etc." Trying so save a few that may have not been paying attention.
That’s why I’m glad I’m joining at 28 years old. I have the common sense to read things thoroughly. I would never just mark yes to anything without reading what is what asking 😂
I had an old-ass doctor that had his mouth open the whole time. He looked 80 or so, and when we had to do the butt-spread, you just heard a biiiiiiiig oral inhale from him. I dunno why, but I think he enjoyed eating ass.
Went to MEPS in 1991, before don’t ask, don’t tell. Doctor was old as hell and asked me the following questions: Do you do drugs? No Are you an alcoholic? No Do you have gay tendencies? No Please drop your pants. I was like...what? After that last question?
Went to MEPs and was sitting on the table with my shirt off. Doctor asked, "Where'd you get those marks on your back son?" "Uhhh sexual intercourse sir." "Oh" He saw me again when I was at the front desk as he was leaving, laughed a little and patted me on the shoulder.
@@cooledlol yeah. At MEPS a guy was asker about weed , he was joining to gain US citizenship( he was on a green card) and said in his country of origin weed was punishable by public execution.
I will never forget this exact quote from my MEPS doctor. "Bend over, more please. You are barely leaning. Okay, try and touch your toes. Good, now brace yourself." Guess what exam that was.
Armchair Christian yeah you do. When I went down to MEPS, my doctor said, “alright what I need you to do now is turn around, touch your toes, and spread your cheeks”. Nobody told me about that part so I was surprised asf lol
Nothing... it was 5 in thr morning, and my eyes were kinda pink from being woken up, and they said I had pink eye( but I went to thr eye doc before leaving for mess the previous day)
i actually never had any problems with my meps doctors, they blitzed through the paperwork without even really digging any info one of them was actually really chill and we talked for like 10 minutes about his son being an architectural engineer.. before he probed my ass
See your mistake was that you got too friendly with him and that turned him on. Hence the probably unnecessary ass probing. If you felt both hands on your waist while he probed, it meant that it was a first date. Welcome to Obama's military.
Lord of Autism I almost got disqualified for having a rash in my axilla from a chemical burn using Old Spice deodorant lol. Darn doctor thought it was a fungal rash
When I went I heard two recruiters arguing cause someone got disqualified for having a suntan and their watch being clearly marked into his skin. He didnt make it past that
I recently went to MEPS and the damn doctor was like " have you ever smoked marijuana?" I said "no ma'am I don't do drugs." She comes back with " that wasn't the question that I asked you now was it?"💀😂😂 I then said " no." She switched it up and decided to say " when was your last puff of marijuana?" I said " I've never smoked marijuana before." Once again she says " you don't listen do you ? I should disqualify you for that right there cause you can't hear correctly ."💀💀
Kyle Hurling right on point man. What many applicants going to MEPS need to understand is that MEPS doctors are not your friends. Don't try to start a conversation with them (unless they ask you a question) don't add anything extra to what you say. The more extra details you add, the more the doctor will question you and it'll just make it even more difficult than it is. Just keep your answers small, truthful and simple.
They made a big deal out of me having a couple stretch marks on my back. They thought i was whipping myself and kept asking if i did it to myself. They had 4 doctors looking at it and in the end this old woman took one look and said it was fine. They can be ridiculous
ZackH98 Technically i passed but I was supposed to go back because of scarring on my back from acne and they wanted a dermatologist to check it out. Didn’t get to choose my job that day so I wasn’t officially enlisted but I never went back. Still don’t know if that was the best or worst decision of my life. Also nice car. I have a 2000 GT
I just swore into the Army yesterday and I can confirm the doctors gave me the most judgemental look I've ever seen when the found out I've never broken a bone
Lol, I have never broken a bone either. Well at least not until this point, the worst thing ever happened to me was having a fishing hook get stuck in my thigh wich I removed myself and it hurted as fuck. I also have a scar about an inch long in my elbow which I made myself after falling from a bicycle, aside from that am perfectly fine, exept for maybe a big underweight but I'll work on that. Think I'll be good to go?
I'm pretty sure your recruiter hides in the ceiling of the MEPS building just waiting to knife hand you in the jugular the second you answer yes to anything.
i was coming back in and while sitting with the liaison this kid walks into the office and tells the NCO “ i told them about when i sprained my ankle in third grade. i have to go see a doctor” lol like dude what part about DONT SAY A FKIN THING dont you understand.
I loved the MEPS doctors. While I was waiting to get my physical a Mexican kid fell asleep next to me. We had been up since 4:30 and he was dead asleep and this Big Black dude comes over. Next thing I hear is POP! and the guy slaps the kid's shoe and just shouts "Would you fall asleep at a job interview!?" and walked away leaving the kid wondering where TF he was at.
I sneezed within the first 10 minutes of being at meps and they called me recruiter and sent me home. No shit. To be fair, I had a bit of a cold. I should have told my recruiter. But that just goes to show how cutthroat it is. My recruiter was pissed off at meps and took me to chipotle on the way home
Nick O`Sullivan dude you're 100 percent correct. I went to MEPS a year ago, everyone except for the doctors were assholes, especially the civilian staff who were checking our weight. A lot of guys including myself got disqualified because of weight standards that our recruiters were supposedly wrong about. I was at a decent weight the day of MEPS, staff there said I had to be below 185 for Army National Guard, which didn't make since to me considering that was the weight you had to be at before shipping to basic, not for enlistment. My recruiter and I went over that when I got back and he wasn't to happy about it. Hell even my roommate the previous night who had already been to MEPS twice because of an injury that happened 1 year prior to that day and was fully healed was disqualified. He was trying to join the Navy, he just had to show the MEPS staff his letter from his personal doctor which stated that he was fine and is eligible to enlist. It had the doctor's signature and office number for verification. Nope. Got sent back because his doctor wasn't in the military and therefore wasn't valid for enough for them. He and I were mad as shit, hell everyone was lol. Funniest thing that day was when we did the "Underwear Olympics" the people I was with started laughing, I looked up and I noticed a guy had a shit stain on his boxers 😂😂
TheJeffandLupeShow Official So did your friend ever get in? I'm going into NG in a few months and I have retained hardware in my wrist from 6 years ago, doesn't bother me and full range of motion too.
Sarah White sorry for the late reply, I didn't notice the notification on my account. But yeah he was able to enlist, I'm not sure how he did since he and I haven't spoke since the day of MEPS. I only know because I saw a picture of his graduation at bootcamp on Facebook. But did you have surgery on your wrist? It's good that you can use full range of motion, but even with push ups, pull ups, and any other exercise too? I fell off a hoverboard a couple of months ago and hurt my wrist. I didn't break or fracture anything, I just couldn't do push ups for about a month because it hurt so much, but after 2 1/2 months I didn't feel any pain at all. Those are the types of things you don't have to mention at meps. But if you did have surgery then be sure to bring all your documents the hospital gave you after the surgery, as well as a letter from your doctor that states you are eligible for military service.
If you score in the mid to high 90's on the ASVAB then all of a sudden everything changes and you're their best friend. They want yo ass. Weirdest 180 in attitude I've ever experienced.
same here. total assholes when i first got there. then i got a 99 on the asvab and all of the subtests which means perfect score on everything. i came in underweight and they signed me off anyways because they wanted me so bad. they basically didnt even look at the rest of my medical, just automatically cleared.
@TheEnd The math is pretty easy. Just know how to calculate percentages and some basic geometry/algebra (like the area of a circle, cube, or square.) Honestly, the electronics is the most specialized info (and autoshop). Know what a transistor, relay, and crankshaft is
@TheEnd Yeah it's mostly algebra. X and Y. area and perimeter. Factoring is in there heavily (FOIL). All things you were exposed to by the end of 9th grade. multiplying and dividing on paper. Pythagorean theorem. Hope you paid attention. if not then study some of those basic methods of solving problems. And definitely know how to get an equation out of a paragraph because there are word problems. Half of my entire time on the test was spent on the math because I never really knew the fastest way to an answer. I just worked it out until i came across something that made sense. It's multiple choice and I wasn't timed. give EVERY SINGLE QUESTION your ABSOLUTE BEST ANSWER. has nothing to do with being smart. just don't give up a single question. work it until you come up with your best answer, even if you've never seen this question in your life. don't guess. work every question until what you got is one of the multiple choices. has nothing to do with being smart.
My MEPS doctor checked my ass with 7 super bow rings on his fingers and got in breathing distance and told me to sit tight. I knew my life says going down hill from there.
Meps doctor: “is there anything not mentioned here that we should know about?” Me thinking of my 4 months in a psych ward and span of my teen years taking risperidone and lithium for bipolar disorder with psychotic features: “Nah can’t think of anything” Meps: “Sounds good to us, have fun in the infantry!”
@@hirxken7851 They like to claim they have a 'code' they can put in and pull up ALL your medical history. If such a code or database existed, you'd never have a single issue dealing with doctors who don't know this or that about you. Needless to say, such a database doesn't yet exist.
I have diagnosed depression. Was in a psych ward for 2 weeks. Stopped taking medication after that This was about 2 years ago, a little less. Is it feasible for me to still get in?
@@vitalityfox It's something they said when I was there too, but I've never actually heard of it happening. It's just a scare tactic. I'm sure it works on some.
MadGamerBoss I got an 82. After studying for a month. I got a 31 when I took the little test they give you at the office when you first come in to see where you are at.
Everything was going smoothly until he asked me if i had ever smoked weed. I said, "nah, weeds not really my thing" dude looks me dead in the eyes and says, "not really means yes". I replied, " No sir, it means I've never smoked weed in my entire life". You almost caught me MEPS doctor, but my recruiter trained me well in the art of bullshitting.
XXdi4vloxx 00000 they don’t even do that 😂😂 that’s for men over 40 that have been in for a long time. They check for hernias and that’s as far as they go.
I got an 88 on my asvab and when i was enlisting 2 months ago to the marine corps the dictors were asking me about the asvab and my branch and once they heard 88 and marine corps they called me the smartest dumbass. Funny cause its true. Counter intelligence bb.
While I was at MEPS, early morning, this Marine recruit was told to sit in a specific place due to COVID restrictions. One of the lobby staff guys asked what branch he went in. When the kid replied “Marines, sir,” the staff member just said out loud, “Makes a lotta sense now.” Me, being the only active duty Army recruit there, with a Coastie recruit and a bunch of AF recruits just fucking lost it. I and the recruits I made friends with still talk about it to this day.
Playa Hater Silky Johnson my buddy scored 8. And he wanted to be a marine so bad😂😂. Then the recruiter asks "who thinks they got a high score?" My buddy dead ass says "I think I did. I got a 8." Recruiter didn't even look at him the rest of the day.
Fat Navy dude that worked at MEPS when I went through "Is that an Ozzy T-shirt?" "Yes sir." "When was the last time you smoked marijuana?" "Never sir." "You sure?" "Yes sir." By this point in me pissing in the cup I can identify every topping that was on the pizza he had for lunch just by the smell of his breath whispers: "We'll see about that."
My doctor asked me if I drink alcohol and I said “no”. She didn’t drop it and kept trying to make me say yes. She’s like “oh.. so you didn’t drink for your 21st birthday?” And I still said no, and she’s like “wow you must be boring”
The one that got me going through MEPS, "You got any kind of leakage out of your anus?" Served through three wars, still chuckle quietly to myself to this day.
This is like the exact opposite of Finnish military doctors. I swear to god I went in there with leg pain and left with a nasal vitamin-A spray. If your body is not broken or boiling then you're fit for duty in their eyes.
XplosivCookie wth really? They're making a bigass deal about one of my smallass scars I didn't even go to the doctor for. The doctor I shit you not said "my job is to find something wrong with you and to try and not send you."
@Vis I had disclosed a few bigger scars to my recruiter to have it sent up to MEPS so it wouldn't be a big deal when i got there, the physician freaked out when he realized my body was covered with scars and marks xD Every little cut, splotch and birthmark ignited a new line of inquiry.
I didn't need any waivers. He knew i was bullshiting about a scar on my elbow (i had said that i never saw a doctor and it wasn't stitched) but he didn't press me on it. Whatever you do, know the line and stick to the line. Some doctors can see through your shit, but they can't prove it. My physician realized during the exam that i had asthma, but i stuck to the line and got through. Be respectful and dress well and people will be more inclined to help.
I got through Meps with a bent arm that I'd broken 9 times and two surgery scars by saying I've never even been to a Hospital. My fucking arm isn't even straight and the Doc looked at me and said "Alright then and sent me on my way". Though, then he turned around and ruined my life with "You're colorblind" -_-
haha MEPS let me walk right through and grilled literally everyone else. My advice for anyone about to enlist: Whatever your statement is, stick to it lol
Legit had the opposite. My doctor at MEPS was nice. Granted he disqualified me at first. But he wrote me a letter of recommendation to BUMED and explained that my condition didn't hinder me. He helped me get my waiver approved in 20 minutes.
I hated going to MEPS. There was one particular Indian doctor who kept making these stupid ass jokes, then the Marine Liason kept fucking around with me on the signature thing. Swear to god it took 35 minutes for the signature. The one good thing was that when the little old Asian lady doctor was inspecting my asshole and balls I let off a silent one that damn near killed her
Honestly. I got cussed out by the marine liaisons lol. they even told me that they didn't trust me one bit because "i was too clean." (referring to my medical status) They delayed my joining process and it's been 6 months since I went to MEPs. They are A-holes
I had it real easy, I walked in with a bad sniffle and a cold and the doctor just flat out told me "you're not supposed to be here but I'll let it pass". Suffice to say I got real lucky
I was just sworn in at the Kansas City MEPs yesterday. My experience was super chilled. I will say that the high schoolers that graduated got the most shit based on immaturity from what I seen yesterday. But again everyone experience is different or about the same. I ship out in 41 days. Be Blessed and dueces!
Meps is very simple. The moment you walk in the door. You treat the situation as if you are already in basic training. Yes sir, no sir, and be respectful. Do what they ask you to do the first time. I had no problems with the Doctors. I can say for a fact. If you go in and fuck up. Like one guy did by doing what he wanted. You will be on the shit list. And you most likely won't be joining. Also if you can't take a piss in front of guys. Don't bother coming to Meps. We had one guy leave because he was afraid to pee around people. Oh and the Interview. It's fast and pretty damn simple. They ask you questions about medical. Then do the exam. We had guys cracking jokes while someone was getting the exams done. Meps isn't a bad experience. As long as you look at it for what it is. Most the people doing the tests deal with shitty people daily. So put yourself in them shoes. And if you talk to the Doctors or guys doing the tests. They all served in the Military at one point.
@@tsdobbi Obviously usmc doesn't have drill sergeants, they have drill instructors, and you say "aye sir" and "no, sir" its formalities from when the usmc first started in 1776 in a bar, as naval sharpshooters
When I went up to MEPs apparently my entire group I was with believed them that they had medical documents on them and they didn’t say no on everything so when I went to talk to the doctor he had said it was unusual that I had nothing wrong with me
Have you smoke marijuana? No. When did you smoke Marijuana? Never. Do you smoke marijuana with friends or yourself? I have never smoked. Does your mother know you smoke marijuana? No. AH HA!
When I did meps we waited to do the duck walk and all so they played the stepbrothers on the tv in the room the docs and us were just chillin and laughing haha
I'm actually hella depressed the doc at meps said I may have keratoconus. I'm going soon to confirm whether or not I do. Keep me in your prayers boys, I've wanted to enlist my entire life and lost 60 pounds just to.
Dude I got lucky!! My MEPS doctors had nothing but silence to say hahaha!! Almost like they just wanted to get the fuck out lol! Fort Jackson here I come
My MEPS doctor was cool as hell. lol he thanked me for making his job easy then started talking to me about his family in California and drinking 100 year old scotch in Scotland.
My Meps be like: "Pain in your arm? Here is some Motrin." "You are throwing up? Here some Motrin and Tums" "You got the flu? Here are some cough drops and Motrin."
Haha I'm all the way flat footed and they got me in and out and before you know it i signed my life away. Depends on what meps you go to and your doctor
I couldn’t piss for the test because I was holding a big shit in to help me make weight. I eventually pissed after drinking so much water I wanted to puke. Made weight barely thanks to that big shit glad I made it please thank me for my service.
Doctor: *"When was the last time you drank water?"*
Me recalling what my recruiter told me: *"No."*
ClearNights like I was told by my recruiter, when u get to Meps just “shut the fuck up, don’t say shit”
ClearNights , some recruits drank so much cola that their piss was brown. I am not joking.
Lmao
On Jah 😭😂
Mike Richard that’s disgusting
Meps 101
Have you ever...no
Did you ever...no
How often...no
When’s the last time...no
Jay Bisky lol yep plead the fifth
N.O.( New Opportunities), Y.E.S( Your Enlistment Stops)
How does weed make you feel......no
@@4u5tinbank31 😂😂
Jay Bisky exactly
Bruh my Doctor got suspicious and about halfway through said “Can you look me in the eyes” and I said “No” cause I was on autopilot
Lmao!
LMFAO
🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣 So did the doctor send you home or you pass?
@@Topic_____542 I passed, I’m a proud 15T now
YES = Your Enlistment Stops - NO = New Opportunities.
Don't tell them a damn thing.
Should I let them know I have taken exlax for constipation, and will I get disqualified for lying about not taking any substances like exlax? I go to meps next Thursday.
Walrus HD, I didnt, and I enlisted in the Army ng 11bravo a couple weeks ago.
I have never heard anything more fucking accurate in my life
No's get goes
PatrioticPatrol, New Mexico
my MEPS doctor was so old he looked liked he earned his strips in Normandy.
My MEPS doctor was so hold he could've fought the British at Bunker Hill
I had hooked on phonics as a kid. Remember the huge, heavy, gray or off-white CRT monitors and windows ME? That's what I used. Going out to blockbuster to get power rangers tapes as a kid. I miss the early 2000s sometimes.
Same. This guy looked like he was sitting down with McArthur planning invasion of Africa.
Bruh mine was so old he earned his stripes in WW1 and made general in Vietnam
Doc Andrews at the Knoxville TN MEPS station.
MEPS during wartime: You look reasonably humanoid and alive, pass
MEPS during peacetime: unless you got the brain of Einstein, the body of Superman and the moral code of Mr. Rogers don’t even bother
Tadicuslegion78 I'm hoping we have to go to war within the next 4 or so months. Not because I want to but because of this reason.
Lol
Wait ! So youre telling me US Army has morals ?
@@vitalityfox rip
So true bro, lol
"I will end your career before it even starts" lmao
JustSome762 lmao
JustSome762 I laughed so had when he said that
that's not funny!!!!!
Oh he did
They will thanos snap your military career out of existence
* Coughs *
Meps Doctor: You have stage 2 cancer, you can't join
German Fury yes
Bruhhhh yes! LMAO
My friend just got a dq for testicle cancer. So he has to get his balls checked by a doctor and come back. I went on the first and second of the month and holy shit i shouldve been dq for the shit i did.
Trashuo Gaming what ever happened to your friend?
@@alit5563 he died of nutsack cancer
Last time I was at MEPS there was this kid that came out of the sound booth bragging that the dr had never known anyone with such perfect hearing. I asked him what his MOS was going to be and he said artillery. I laughed and said “ kiss your perfect hearing goodbye “...
He doesn't deserve that hearing if he went to artillery lol
King Byrd.
Indeed not
P N
probably does now, that was back in 95...
@@WRMonger1 that kid now: WHAAAT!!?
@@WRMonger1 I had "above average hearing" I dont think there's such thing as perfect hearing unless he walked into that sound booth and could hear the chinese talking about nukes
Spot on how they were at MEPs...."We find out you are lying, you are going to jail" Little did I know that would have been an upgrade.....
+matthew Kirkland Saw a MEPS doc get fired for that. Dude told the CO that the DOC threatened him, and he admitted to it.
This guy gets it
Jerod Rumney MEPS isn't scary at all just be confident and follow instructions and you'll be fine...ig your experience also depends on the mood of the employees too but if you listen there wont be any problems, the doctors aren't even scary either at least from my perspective
Thanks I understand that joke now. I took the ASVAB on Wednesday and I asked the person watching us test if I got the right test because I was supposed to be taking the Picat verification test and I kept on seeing CAT ASVAB. He responded to me with "I know how to do my job! Are you trying to tell me how to do my job?" I just replied with "no sir". Man they were cranky there. It was hard to understand what they were saying too because they would say it too quick.
Jerod Rumney 💀💀 yea well the MEPS @ Fort Meade has some characters in it as well but if you got a good personality 9/10 the ppl will treat you nice and talk to you like a normal person just don't take it personal if it seems like they bossing you around cus at the end of the day thats the military
I have no medical history and the meps doctor said that my childhood must've been boring.
So they looked at your medical documents? Or just the information you gave to them
What he put down for his medical information. They can’t look at your medical information at meps. Violates HIPPA laws
Don’t you sign away twice at your meps and recruiter for them to check your history bypassing hippa?
Lmao that’s exactly what my meps doctor said to me
@@eygon7925 Yes, but its not a legit document. If that was the case that it was, why would they badger you even further with more questions.
Mep doctors: "Ever experience depression?"
Recruiter: 🤫
That’s the most savage thing I’ve ever read.
@@1monkey1typewriter That's your bar?
Lmao
Same 😂
😂
MEPS doctor: have you ever been suicidal?
Me: only when I'm at MEPS.
you made a joke get out
My recruiter didnt tell me it would have been that bad 😂 I was not mentally prepared
"Disqualified"
@@brandonduckworth154 1 of the enlisted doctors called me "slow" like I'm retarded. Like give me a break man it's 5 am and I only got like 3 hours of sleep 😂
Lmaooo
As a Recruiter, I tell my recruits, MEPS was an acronym for (Military Entrance Prevention Station)
Monte Roc processing
Antonio Mendez it was a joke.
Juan G yea I will keyboard warrior
AP-Atlas sure
Monte Roc Hahahaha
I had one pimple on my face due to stressing out about my damn weight before going to meps..
the doctor jotted down on my paperwork: “Severe Acne” 😂💀
sunshinebites did disqualifie you ???
Marla Marrero no, im in the army. Been in for a year.
sunshinebites thank you so much for answer me good luck 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
sunshinebites how do you like it?
CodingCrusader1095 ???
My MEPS doc was like 110 years old and his name was, I shit you not, Dr. Screws.
My MEPS doctor didn't speak English very well and he talked super fucking fast.
Doc: I need you to answer just yes or no, okay?
Me: Yes, sir.
Doc: SOIFAJOSPDIBJIAPSHDA
Me: ...Yes?
Doc: YOU'VE DONE DRUGS?!
Me: No?
+Clicint Lmao
Dr. Screws... I laugh my ass off every time I just think about that now
LOL! "Oh HELL no!"
LOU WINDSOR that's hilarious
my meps doc was just some old guy who just signed everything on my forms, did his checking of my body, signed some more things, looked at me, said good luck, and I went to swear in 2 hours later.
Trevor Davis lucky bastard
Trevor Davis mine was a latino guy that did the same exact shit haha he was chill
Same thing for me! Were you at the meps in Phoenix, AZ?
Same!! I went last week and most of the people were cool. There were like 3 people that were rude, everyone else was nice. I'm still in shock XD
where did you guys go. Ill be going to Charlotte NC for my meps
Last thing your recruiter tells you: “lie. It’s a trap.”
First thing the doctors tell you: “okay now don’t lie I’m here to help”
Then they make you sign a statement to the effect nobody told you to lie.
Wonder how often people fuck up.
"Now it dont matter what your recruiter told you to say. Tell us the truth I can help you easy. Just tell me or the FBI will be further up your ass than the guy behind you when you go to prison for lying"
@@Jabooty_Williams Exactly, had my poor 18yr old ass shaking. Still said no though
@@dootmcsploot4180 bruh dame here, but the dude told me I could face up to 10 years in prison, lmao
Joined during wartime, they pretty much had a revolving door at MEPS.
walter80922 I did the same . I joined the week after 9/11 and they barely even examined us . I basically lied about everything and got pushed right thru!
😂😂😂
@@scottbravo3 lol 😂
lmao when I went to meps the doctor asked me, "when's the last time you've smoked weed?" I said never. Then she was like, "You know the blood test we did can see all the drugs you've done in the past year, better come clean buddy." The amount of BS that they spew is unreal.
So say you did smoke before, is that an issue? Or whatt
@Cookiess thanks
a m i didnt need a waiver to get in when i told them i smoked in the past, all they do is bust your balls the whole time with a shit ton of more questions about why you smoked it an give you shit every time they see that you put have smoked in the past its super tricky how they question you too when they find out or know you have smoked weed and itll be on record the whole time you are in so the military probably will question you a lot more and assume things on you compared to everybody who didnt put they have smoked or just plain lied that they havnt but did, but that was my experience just dont even bring it up lol itll make it harder for you to get in it can definitely change how they look at you too an not in a good way they looked at me like a rule breaker and i dont follow laws, they kinda look at you like a might be fuck up who doesnt listen a possible danger to others the doctor also told me that
@@ZeR-rm1pf thank you sir
@@ZeR-rm1pf this is exactly why I said no to every question. To anyone reading this: SAY NO SAY NO SAY NO. Your recruiter will tell you they're in on a a drug waiver, the liaison will say they're in on a waiver, etc. True or not, you say NO and shut your damn trap. If you're a shit liar, tell them about the couple times you drank underage and you'll appear less suspicious.
MEPS doctor: have you ever smoked marijuana
Me: no
MEPS Doctor: I knew you weren't cool
Me: wait wait wait no hold on a minute
**gets send home**
the batman lmao
the batman 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
220th like
I think this is a scene from Family Guy
Family guy
3 years ago, he grabbed my balls and asked me to caught. He asked me if I meant to join the navy. I asked, "why?". He said he guessed so because I maintained eye contact.
Al P hahahahah
It ain't gay if you're wearing socks😂
I had some big Hispanic doctor talk to me about anime. Lmao.
Me as a MEPS doctor
UpDate. Were you up in Massachusetts
Eric Bentley
Nah. Buffalo.
UpDate. Oh ok I had a big Hispanic doctor too and he had the craziest deep powerful voice I've ever heard
Please lord, let me get your doctor when I go to MEPS 🙏🏾
MEPs right after 9/11 were like you have a pulse, so were clearing you.
Same in the early 80's during the Reagan buildup.
Was that MEPS exam on the loading ramp of the C5 heading to the Middle East? We got PowerPoint spin up briefs on the way.
I remember reading about how they straight up gave moral waivers to felons of a violent crime 😂
I joined a few years after 9/11. MEPS passed me no problem despite flat feet, scoliosis, and a high heart rate. One of the guys I went to MEPS with that day said he had to get a waiver cuz he failed the ASVAB 3 times. I kinda feel, looking back, that neither of us should have got in but those were the good old days I guess.
I just got home from MEPS, and this is fairly accurate.
Tyler Robelli really? I'm going to meps in 5 days and I'm scared
PVT Joker, be prepared for a day of standing in line, sitting in line, doing paperwork, answering questions, and having some pissed off old doc examine your junk. Best part of the fuckin day right there.
Jurassic0Al worst part, my recruiter told me to lie a lil bit lol I'll get nervous
Private Joker- I can't tell you what to do, but I don't recommend lying in general. Use common sense. Some shit you can probably get away with, but if you hide arrests of any kind, criminal history of any kind, or medical history, you can get kicked out for fraudulent enlistment and they never let you in again. Not trying to scare you but I saw it happen to guys, they lied at MEPS and got kicked out later when the service found out.
Also, you recruiter doesn't lose if you get caught for lying at any point from MEPS onward. You lose. They grant waivers for all kinds of shit, a lot of stuff just needs to be documented. I'm not saying tell em fuckin everything but they don't forgive if you get caught after lying to them.
Jurassic0Al my medical record says "SUSPECTED seizure" but on every test nothing came up, all tests didn't show anything and I've been fine ever since and before, never had anything like that, and it was over a year ago....what do u think?
Recruiter told me; "YES means Your Enlistment Stops" lmao
After the third signature of "If you're hiding something we will find it" and MEPS _still_ not finding anything, I knew they couldn't do anything. I was connecting the dots the moment I left the bus and got in the door after the hotel.
It’s all a bad bluff.
On the questionnaire they give you at MEPS there is a column with a lot of BS "yes or no" questions that everyone should say no to, but in the middle of them there is a question that says "Are you currently in good health?", so if you're mindlessly skimming through it and mark no for that one as well, then you get interrogated by the doctors and you'll probably get sent home. That's all it takes. I swear that is the first question they look at when you hand back the sheet.
Terry Ward during the medical brief they should have gone over that, if they didn’t that sucks for others
@@krisramos407 they waited until after you filled it out at my MEPS station. Then they said "write down why you bubbled no if you did, do you have a cough, a headache, cold etc." Trying so save a few that may have not been paying attention.
That’s why I’m glad I’m joining at 28 years old. I have the common sense to read things thoroughly. I would never just mark yes to anything without reading what is what asking 😂
My Meps doctor was like 800 years old and was kept chewing on something even though he didn't have anything in his mouth.
Blake Old food he keeps in his cheek pouch to bring out and chew periodically I did the same
@@evanw2195 what the fuck
Imagination
I had an old-ass doctor that had his mouth open the whole time. He looked 80 or so, and when we had to do the butt-spread, you just heard a biiiiiiiig oral inhale from him. I dunno why, but I think he enjoyed eating ass.
Im srsly dying right now 🤣🤣☠
Went to MEPS in 1991, before don’t ask, don’t tell. Doctor was old as hell and asked me the following questions:
Do you do drugs? No
Are you an alcoholic? No
Do you have gay tendencies? No
Please drop your pants.
I was like...what? After that last question?
That was the only answer he didn't believe.
Had to make sure he wasn’t gonna get sucker punched by a chub
It's a trap!
Don't do it, he's testing you for gay tendencies.
@@Llaveroja27 💀💀
Of course not, you got a 31 on your ASVAB ...... Things that make you spit out your food
sucks when you cough on preworkout
Damn...I got a 31 on my asvab 10 years ago lmfao
Im glad i wasnt sipping my coffee that made me LOL
THING THAT GET YOUR ASS MURKED YOU STUPID BITCH
Hah i scored a 36
Went to MEPs and was sitting on the table with my shirt off. Doctor asked, "Where'd you get those marks on your back son?" "Uhhh sexual intercourse sir." "Oh"
He saw me again when I was at the front desk as he was leaving, laughed a little and patted me on the shoulder.
🤣🤣bro LMFAOOO ty for this
Should’ve been like. “Attacked by a cougar sir.” 😂
@@artyom2108 that’s the same thing though
"Have you ever consumed marijuana?"
No.
"How often did you smoke marijuana?"
No.
"When was the last time you used marijuana?"
No
Noah Rodriguez-Beus No
@Noah Rodriguez-Beus yes
Fr, Do MEPS Doctors actually take no for an answer if the question isn’t a yes or no question?
@@cooledlol yeah. At MEPS a guy was asker about weed , he was joining to gain US citizenship( he was on a green card) and said in his country of origin weed was punishable by public execution.
Harsh Bansal are you serious? That’s wild
I will never forget this exact quote from my MEPS doctor. "Bend over, more please. You are barely leaning. Okay, try and touch your toes. Good, now brace yourself." Guess what exam that was.
Mr. Arnold The Fitnessgram Pacer test of course.
Leg flexibility?
Do you really have to have your butthole checked imma post pone if you do
Armchair Christian yeah you do. When I went down to MEPS, my doctor said, “alright what I need you to do now is turn around, touch your toes, and spread your cheeks”. Nobody told me about that part so I was surprised asf lol
Armchair Christian is that where you keep your lucky charms?
''cmom man you can tell me im a doctor'' lmfao i know someone was like "you promise you wont tell?"
James M That would be so funny
😂😂😂🙅🏾♂️
When I tried going in, I was excited and smiling... the asked if I needed to go home and sober up... and then sent me home
🤣🤣🤣
What did you do ? 🤣
Nothing... it was 5 in thr morning, and my eyes were kinda pink from being woken up, and they said I had pink eye( but I went to thr eye doc before leaving for mess the previous day)
i actually never had any problems with my meps doctors, they blitzed through the paperwork without even really digging any info
one of them was actually really chill and we talked for like 10 minutes about his son being an architectural engineer.. before he probed my ass
See your mistake was that you got too friendly with him and that turned him on. Hence the probably unnecessary ass probing. If you felt both hands on your waist while he probed, it meant that it was a first date. Welcome to Obama's military.
@@wigon LMAO!
@@wigon trump's millitary hates you just for not being a white christian
@@vodkacannon What kind of weak ass reply is that?
Vodkacannon that sounds intelligent.
The doc at my meps legit almost disqualified me for a sunburn
Lord of Autism a dude at meps when I went got disqualified for having his nails too short lmao
Dude I’m sure if you fart they’ll pdq you
Lord of Autism I almost got disqualified for having a rash in my axilla from a chemical burn using Old Spice deodorant lol. Darn doctor thought it was a fungal rash
When I went I heard two recruiters arguing cause someone got disqualified for having a suntan and their watch being clearly marked into his skin. He didnt make it past that
So even if I have a perfect bill of health and no drug issues, I still have to worry?
Doc: Do you do any physical activities?
Me: Does sex count?
Doc: Of course.
Me: ...Then no.
Nice
@@internet_internet Just gonna noice your noice there.
😂
I recently went to MEPS and the damn doctor was like " have you ever smoked marijuana?" I said "no ma'am I don't do drugs." She comes back with " that wasn't the question that I asked you now was it?"💀😂😂 I then said " no." She switched it up and decided to say " when was your last puff of marijuana?" I said " I've never smoked marijuana before." Once again she says " you don't listen do you ? I should disqualify you for that right there cause you can't hear correctly ."💀💀
lmao 😂
Lol what are you suppose to say? Bahaha 😂
Raquel Rodriguez Yes or No. Don't add words
Kyle Hurling what he said^ 😂😭
Kyle Hurling right on point man. What many applicants going to MEPS need to understand is that MEPS doctors are not your friends. Don't try to start a conversation with them (unless they ask you a question) don't add anything extra to what you say. The more extra details you add, the more the doctor will question you and it'll just make it even more difficult than it is. Just keep your answers small, truthful and simple.
They made a big deal out of me having a couple stretch marks on my back. They thought i was whipping myself and kept asking if i did it to myself. They had 4 doctors looking at it and in the end this old woman took one look and said it was fine. They can be ridiculous
ZackH98 Technically i passed but I was supposed to go back because of scarring on my back from acne and they wanted a dermatologist to check it out. Didn’t get to choose my job that day so I wasn’t officially enlisted but I never went back. Still don’t know if that was the best or worst decision of my life. Also nice car. I have a 2000 GT
James Diaz Shoulda went back
ZackH98 🤣 u lyin
Bro I have hella stretch marks on my upper arms, shoulders, back, ass, hips and thighs so I can only imagine what they are gonna say lol
AQ Alexander Their gonna think you’re a cutter.
My recruiter’s exact words, “You’re super man, convince them of it.”
Going to the Dr. at MEPS was hands down the most gayest experience I've had in my life.
Victor Adrian Alvarez when I went glad I didn't get a prostate exam
orbas88 I almost burst out laughing at the awkwardness during my physical.
Isn't duck walking in your boxers in front of a group of dudes also standing in boxers great!?
Lool
Gabbi C. try getting your peter felt up and straight up stared at by an old man
I just swore into the Army yesterday and I can confirm the doctors gave me the most judgemental look I've ever seen when the found out I've never broken a bone
Lol, I have never broken a bone either. Well at least not until this point, the worst thing ever happened to me was having a fishing hook get stuck in my thigh wich I removed myself and it hurted as fuck. I also have a scar about an inch long in my elbow which I made myself after falling from a bicycle, aside from that am perfectly fine, exept for maybe a big underweight but I'll work on that. Think I'll be good to go?
Same here
I'm pretty sure your recruiter hides in the ceiling of the MEPS building just waiting to knife hand you in the jugular the second you answer yes to anything.
i was coming back in and while sitting with the liaison this kid walks into the office and tells the NCO “ i told them about when i sprained my ankle in third grade. i have to go see a doctor” lol like dude what part about DONT SAY A FKIN THING dont you understand.
Doctor: How are you feeling today
Me: No
Best comment
Goated Comment
Me : Yes
I loved the MEPS doctors. While I was waiting to get my physical a Mexican kid fell asleep next to me. We had been up since 4:30 and he was dead asleep and this Big Black dude comes over. Next thing I hear is POP! and the guy slaps the kid's shoe and just shouts "Would you fall asleep at a job interview!?" and walked away leaving the kid wondering where TF he was at.
Dalton Bradshaw LOL
😂
Had a kid near me start to doze off waiting for his physical. Guy barely closed his eyes before someone shouted across the room "NO SLEEPING!"
Damn, yall got to sleep in till 4:30? I had to be at MEPS by 4:30. Shower, shaved, shit, stretched and dressed by then.
@@davidmendez6651 same bro, same
Just got back I ship tuesday
The MEPS people are a bunch of liars telling you not to lie. Tell them nothing.
Recruiter: what branch of the service do you wanna join?
Yusha: yes
wrong answer, you're fuckin dead
I keep reading his name as Yoshua
I sneezed within the first 10 minutes of being at meps and they called me recruiter and sent me home. No shit.
To be fair, I had a bit of a cold. I should have told my recruiter. But that just goes to show how cutthroat it is.
My recruiter was pissed off at meps and took me to chipotle on the way home
ContraXV , Chipolte ? So they tried to kill you with poisoned food ? Harsh.
What branch?
Did you ever get in?
Yeah... this definitely happened.
Damn son that sucks, I just went today with a cough and some mucus build up and they said I was good to go
Meanwhile War Conscriptions: "You have one eye? That means one good eye to aim, you are in."
They were letting in violent felons with waivers back in 2007. I had more than a few drug dealers in my BCT and AIT companies
The MEPS doctor's where I went were super chill lol. I respected them and they respected me and it was all done.
Dakota, The Squire where did you go?
Dakota, The Squire That's like finding a leprechaun riding a unicorn bro, you are one lucky son of a bitch, I'll tell you what.
Nick O`Sullivan dude you're 100 percent correct. I went to MEPS a year ago, everyone except for the doctors were assholes, especially the civilian staff who were checking our weight. A lot of guys including myself got disqualified because of weight standards that our recruiters were supposedly wrong about. I was at a decent weight the day of MEPS, staff there said I had to be below 185 for Army National Guard, which didn't make since to me considering that was the weight you had to be at before shipping to basic, not for enlistment. My recruiter and I went over that when I got back and he wasn't to happy about it. Hell even my roommate the previous night who had already been to MEPS twice because of an injury that happened 1 year prior to that day and was fully healed was disqualified. He was trying to join the Navy, he just had to show the MEPS staff his letter from his personal doctor which stated that he was fine and is eligible to enlist. It had the doctor's signature and office number for verification. Nope. Got sent back because his doctor wasn't in the military and therefore wasn't valid for enough for them. He and I were mad as shit, hell everyone was lol. Funniest thing that day was when we did the "Underwear Olympics" the people I was with started laughing, I looked up and I noticed a guy had a shit stain on his boxers 😂😂
TheJeffandLupeShow Official So did your friend ever get in? I'm going into NG in a few months and I have retained hardware in my wrist from 6 years ago, doesn't bother me and full range of motion too.
Sarah White sorry for the late reply, I didn't notice the notification on my account. But yeah he was able to enlist, I'm not sure how he did since he and I haven't spoke since the day of MEPS. I only know because I saw a picture of his graduation at bootcamp on Facebook. But did you have surgery on your wrist? It's good that you can use full range of motion, but even with push ups, pull ups, and any other exercise too? I fell off a hoverboard a couple of months ago and hurt my wrist. I didn't break or fracture anything, I just couldn't do push ups for about a month because it hurt so much, but after 2 1/2 months I didn't feel any pain at all. Those are the types of things you don't have to mention at meps. But if you did have surgery then be sure to bring all your documents the hospital gave you after the surgery, as well as a letter from your doctor that states you are eligible for military service.
My recruiter before I went to meps told me “You never did anything, ever. No, not, never.” Got it?”
That cracked me up
Same 💀
If you score in the mid to high 90's on the ASVAB then all of a sudden everything changes and you're their best friend. They want yo ass. Weirdest 180 in attitude I've ever experienced.
same here. total assholes when i first got there. then i got a 99 on the asvab and all of the subtests which means perfect score on everything. i came in underweight and they signed me off anyways because they wanted me so bad. they basically didnt even look at the rest of my medical, just automatically cleared.
@TheEnd The math is pretty easy. Just know how to calculate percentages and some basic geometry/algebra (like the area of a circle, cube, or square.) Honestly, the electronics is the most specialized info (and autoshop). Know what a transistor, relay, and crankshaft is
I scored a 70 hopefully that helps my process
Bruh I got a 94 and this single-handedly eased all my tension... You're the GOAT.
@TheEnd Yeah it's mostly algebra. X and Y. area and perimeter. Factoring is in there heavily (FOIL). All things you were exposed to by the end of 9th grade. multiplying and dividing on paper. Pythagorean theorem. Hope you paid attention. if not then study some of those basic methods of solving problems. And definitely know how to get an equation out of a paragraph because there are word problems. Half of my entire time on the test was spent on the math because I never really knew the fastest way to an answer. I just worked it out until i came across something that made sense.
It's multiple choice and I wasn't timed. give EVERY SINGLE QUESTION your ABSOLUTE BEST ANSWER. has nothing to do with being smart. just don't give up a single question. work it until you come up with your best answer, even if you've never seen this question in your life. don't guess. work every question until what you got is one of the multiple choices. has nothing to do with being smart.
My MEPS doctor checked my ass with 7 super bow rings on his fingers and got in breathing distance and told me to sit tight. I knew my life says going down hill from there.
JJ White 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
So you had a hemorrhoid I see
Legit crying.
I’m actually dying rn
If you wanna be in the military the military has to be in you first
My meps doctor in good ol 2019 was the same doctor that processed my dad in 1986... He was oolllddd
Meps doctor: “is there anything not mentioned here that we should know about?”
Me thinking of my 4 months in a psych ward and span of my teen years taking risperidone and lithium for bipolar disorder with psychotic features: “Nah can’t think of anything”
Meps: “Sounds good to us, have fun in the infantry!”
YO SAME i haven't gone to meps but, fuck idk if I should keep that a secret from them 💀
@@hirxken7851 They like to claim they have a 'code' they can put in and pull up ALL your medical history. If such a code or database existed, you'd never have a single issue dealing with doctors who don't know this or that about you.
Needless to say, such a database doesn't yet exist.
I have diagnosed depression. Was in a psych ward for 2 weeks. Stopped taking medication after that This was about 2 years ago, a little less. Is it feasible for me to still get in?
@@dishsoap8428 i’ve seen 100x worse get in. as long as u feel you are okay then just don’t bring it up.
Fuuuck, don't even get me started on Risperidone and Lithium lmao But I'm looking at the Corps and I hope to God I'll make it
"I know your recruiter to lie, but imma tell you right now, you lie you going to jail" lol first thing they told us I swear.
I Cant Walk is that actually true?
Dad u can’t go to jail
It’s just a scare tactic to snitch on yourself so they can kick u out
Say No and don’t stand up in moment of truth at boot camp
@@vitalityfox Nope. They don't pull your medical records either.
Technically you can go to jail for fraudulent enlistment but as far as I know, that never actually happens
@@vitalityfox It's something they said when I was there too, but I've never actually heard of it happening. It's just a scare tactic. I'm sure it works on some.
he kept asking me about myself. "You have nothing on here" "Sir, I'm a boring person" "Yeah, I bet..."
Do you know where that is? Of course not, you got a 31 on your asvab
LiarAmongAll - HOAH!!!
I scored 30 and joined as a CAT-4 so I felt that one😂
MadGamerBoss I got an 82. After studying for a month. I got a 31 when I took the little test they give you at the office when you first come in to see where you are at.
@@0wnageclan I got a 48 at the recruiters office
Divided By Truth I got an 88 and didn’t study... common sense questions
I guess that one thumbs down is the person who got the 31 in the ASVAB...Great work keep em coming!
Bill Wimbley I got a 31 and this is hilarious lol
private joker you probably shouldn't tell people that
I got a 43, is that bad?
God bless the infantry cause with that score that's all you got 😂
So 31 is high enough score to join Army infantry? What about Marines? I got a 43
This one dude in boot somehow got in with a heart condition and his heart gave out on a ruck march.
Damn 😔
did he died
Dover dead as fuck
Was it during the Surge?
Bruh moment
Everything was going smoothly until he asked me if i had ever smoked weed. I said, "nah, weeds not really my thing" dude looks me dead in the eyes and says, "not really means yes". I replied, " No sir, it means I've never smoked weed in my entire life". You almost caught me MEPS doctor, but my recruiter trained me well in the art of bullshitting.
idk why i found that funny but relatable
I had it easy dude was cool as shit in and out- but then again I was 18 and clean as hell....
Hustler's Kung Fu i bet u loved it when they checked ur turd cutter easy in and out right
XXdi4vloxx 00000 they don’t even do that 😂😂 that’s for men over 40 that have been in for a long time. They check for hernias and that’s as far as they go.
Killer Chris they literally do it to everyone..i just had to do it a few weeks ago.
RickynotRicardo no they don’t 😂 If that was true then I would’ve gotten it 😂
They just say turn and spread them
I got an 88 on my asvab and when i was enlisting 2 months ago to the marine corps the dictors were asking me about the asvab and my branch and once they heard 88 and marine corps they called me the smartest dumbass. Funny cause its true. Counter intelligence bb.
Yes i called them dictors cause they were dicks.
While I was at MEPS, early morning, this Marine recruit was told to sit in a specific place due to COVID restrictions. One of the lobby staff guys asked what branch he went in. When the kid replied “Marines, sir,” the staff member just said out loud, “Makes a lotta sense now.” Me, being the only active duty Army recruit there, with a Coastie recruit and a bunch of AF recruits just fucking lost it. I and the recruits I made friends with still talk about it to this day.
A friend of mine scored 6 on the ASVAB
Lord Reaper Of Pyke is that even possible lol
dontworry boutit when I was in high school I knew a girl who scored a 3 on the asvab lmao
Derrick Silva that's ridiculous 😂😂
I had a friend that scored a 10
Playa Hater Silky Johnson my buddy scored 8. And he wanted to be a marine so bad😂😂. Then the recruiter asks "who thinks they got a high score?" My buddy dead ass says "I think I did. I got a 8." Recruiter didn't even look at him the rest of the day.
Fat Navy dude that worked at MEPS when I went through
"Is that an Ozzy T-shirt?"
"Yes sir."
"When was the last time you smoked marijuana?"
"Never sir."
"You sure?"
"Yes sir."
By this point in me pissing in the cup I can identify every topping that was on the pizza he had for lunch just by the smell of his breath
whispers: "We'll see about that."
My doctor asked me if I drink alcohol and I said “no”. She didn’t drop it and kept trying to make me say yes. She’s like “oh.. so you didn’t drink for your 21st birthday?” And I still said no, and she’s like “wow you must be boring”
Skank
I was the designated driver for my 60 & 70 year old parents on my 21st birthday.
No joke.
lol abnormal pap smear
I don't know what that is, I got a 31 on the ASVAB.
Hey drip! Didn't expect to see you here
lol
DUDE BRO its a test to check for cervical cancer
Colonel Kairasu I think dude bro was telling the truth.
The one that got me going through MEPS, "You got any kind of leakage out of your anus?" Served through three wars, still chuckle quietly to myself to this day.
Peoples ass leaked from buttreaming back then?
Were you joining the Navy? Lol
Me: Clears my throat
*Meps doctor looks at me as If I just had a seizure*
This is like the exact opposite of Finnish military doctors. I swear to god I went in there with leg pain and left with a nasal vitamin-A spray. If your body is not broken or boiling then you're fit for duty in their eyes.
XplosivCookie wth really? They're making a bigass deal about one of my smallass scars I didn't even go to the doctor for. The doctor I shit you not said "my job is to find something wrong with you and to try and not send you."
Visionary they did the same to me . i had to get a waiver for a very small scar
@Vis I had disclosed a few bigger scars to my recruiter to have it sent up to MEPS so it wouldn't be a big deal when i got there, the physician freaked out when he realized my body was covered with scars and marks xD Every little cut, splotch and birthmark ignited a new line of inquiry.
Random Weeb I got a few scars too on my body , So what happened did you get a waivers or they let you swear in still
I didn't need any waivers. He knew i was bullshiting about a scar on my elbow (i had said that i never saw a doctor and it wasn't stitched) but he didn't press me on it. Whatever you do, know the line and stick to the line. Some doctors can see through your shit, but they can't prove it. My physician realized during the exam that i had asthma, but i stuck to the line and got through. Be respectful and dress well and people will be more inclined to help.
I got through Meps with a bent arm that I'd broken 9 times and two surgery scars by saying I've never even been to a Hospital.
My fucking arm isn't even straight and the Doc looked at me and said "Alright then and sent me on my way".
Though, then he turned around and ruined my life with "You're colorblind" -_-
“Tell me what your recruiter told you to lie about!” 😂🤣😂🤣
haha MEPS let me walk right through and grilled literally everyone else. My advice for anyone about to enlist: Whatever your statement is, stick to it lol
J G what if they dont believe it, can they disqualify you still?
@@chaotic6zero647 just be polite as fuck. Yes sir, no sir. Say no to every question unless its "yes, I'm in good health."
"I believe so..."
“So apparently you’re Superman” lmao
I actually never smoked but the way they were pressing me I was bout to fold and tell em i did smoke😂😂
Legit had the opposite. My doctor at MEPS was nice. Granted he disqualified me at first. But he wrote me a letter of recommendation to BUMED and explained that my condition didn't hinder me. He helped me get my waiver approved in 20 minutes.
Wesley can I ask for what? you got a waiver that very day approved?
Meps was a breeze, it was the Marine liaison who gave me shit.
I hated going to MEPS. There was one particular Indian doctor who kept making these stupid ass jokes, then the Marine Liason kept fucking around with me on the signature thing. Swear to god it took 35 minutes for the signature. The one good thing was that when the little old Asian lady doctor was inspecting my asshole and balls I let off a silent one that damn near killed her
Same here
what did the Marine liaison do?? i'm going back to meps soon
He will haggle you about anything they really dont want you to lie
Honestly. I got cussed out by the marine liaisons lol. they even told me that they didn't trust me one bit because "i was too clean." (referring to my medical status)
They delayed my joining process and it's been 6 months since I went to MEPs. They are A-holes
MEPS doctor during war time: “I see you are breathing, you’re in you ship out today”
I had it real easy, I walked in with a bad sniffle and a cold and the doctor just flat out told me "you're not supposed to be here but I'll let it pass". Suffice to say I got real lucky
My MEPs doc gave me a letter of recommendation to go to Morehouse school of medicine so that I can become a doctor. Super awesome guy.
Mine told me to bend over.
Meps Doctor: “Do you have...”
Recruit: “Nope.”
Meps Doctor: “Have you ever...”
Recruit: “No.”
Meps Doctor: “How about...”
Recruit: “Absolutely...not.”
Meps Doctor: "What about..."
Recruit: "Why I never thought of such a thing"
I was just sworn in at the Kansas City MEPs yesterday. My experience was super chilled. I will say that the high schoolers that graduated got the most shit based on immaturity from what I seen yesterday. But again everyone experience is different or about the same. I ship out in 41 days. Be Blessed and dueces!
Isaiah Stevenson fuck that’s me straight out of high school
How's life nowadays?
Nice! I went through that exact same MEPS six months ago.
Isaiah Stevenson how is it?
@@stickman15795 what did you think of the Asian doctor? He was the only one I didn't like.
Meps is very simple. The moment you walk in the door. You treat the situation as if you are already in basic training. Yes sir, no sir, and be respectful. Do what they ask you to do the first time. I had no problems with the Doctors. I can say for a fact. If you go in and fuck up. Like one guy did by doing what he wanted. You will be on the shit list. And you most likely won't be joining. Also if you can't take a piss in front of guys. Don't bother coming to Meps. We had one guy leave because he was afraid to pee around people. Oh and the Interview. It's fast and pretty damn simple. They ask you questions about medical. Then do the exam. We had guys cracking jokes while someone was getting the exams done. Meps isn't a bad experience. As long as you look at it for what it is. Most the people doing the tests deal with shitty people daily. So put yourself in them shoes. And if you talk to the Doctors or guys doing the tests. They all served in the Military at one point.
Except you don't say yes sir to a drill Sargeant in basic training
@@danutercisd2016 unless its the Marines.
@@tsdobbi
Obviously usmc doesn't have drill sergeants, they have drill instructors, and you say "aye sir" and "no, sir" its formalities from when the usmc first started in 1776 in a bar, as naval sharpshooters
I found out you cant tell the doctors at MEPS "you can't prove that"
Why not
@r_ elentless01 no they can't, they lie and say they can, but it's illegal
Yeah i was going to say bs cause ive gone to meps 2 times and have bsd through it finally getting to leave
@r_ elentless01 The only things MEPS knows about you is what you tell them.
Godly Cookie so MEPS can’t pull ur medical records ?
When I went up to MEPs apparently my entire group I was with believed them that they had medical documents on them and they didn’t say no on everything so when I went to talk to the doctor he had said it was unusual that I had nothing wrong with me
I want to be a doctor in the military, and if I get to be in MEPS I will be nice to my patients
I had about as good of an experience at MEPs as a guy can have I’d say.
@@tylerwood2802 Denver MEPS has a cute female doctor. She's old, but aged well. Kinda wish I had her number.
I think they get paid to fail people actually
Have you smoke marijuana?
No.
When did you smoke Marijuana?
Never.
Do you smoke marijuana with friends or yourself?
I have never smoked.
Does your mother know you smoke marijuana?
No.
AH HA!
Just went through MEPS April 26th and this is 100% true haha! Good job dude!
When I did meps we waited to do the duck walk and all so they played the stepbrothers on the tv in the room the docs and us were just chillin and laughing haha
I'm actually hella depressed the doc at meps said I may have keratoconus. I'm going soon to confirm whether or not I do. Keep me in your prayers boys, I've wanted to enlist my entire life and lost 60 pounds just to.
Good luck
Update?
💯
@@capitcha Hey fellas - long story short I just graduated basic in late March and I’m currently stationed on a base for training
@@cainprice7482 That’s great! I’m so glad it worked out for you.
Had a sunburn when I went through. Got listed as an 'abnormal skin condition'. Every Doc has asked me about it since.
Lmaooo "course not ya got a 31 on the asvab" 😂😂
*me enlisting to the military*
MEPs doctor: I’m about to end this mans whole career
Dude I got lucky!! My MEPS doctors had nothing but silence to say hahaha!! Almost like they just wanted to get the fuck out lol! Fort Jackson here I come
My MEPS doctor was cool as hell. lol he thanked me for making his job easy then started talking to me about his family in California and drinking 100 year old scotch in Scotland.
I feel like I'm the only one who had a smooth and fast day at MEPs. Guess I was damn lucky.
My Meps be like:
"Pain in your arm? Here is some Motrin."
"You are throwing up? Here some Motrin and Tums"
"You got the flu? Here are some cough drops and Motrin."
My doctor tried to get me for being slightly flat footed #savages 😂
They tried to get my ass for having dry elbows. Marked that down as "possible skin lesions." Dude, I live in Colorado! Of course I have dry elbows.
I’m finna shoot my shot she looking to good 😂
I’m completely flat footed but I wear prescription inserts. It took a few months for them to approve a waiver for that.
C@ptain_Jack if you are flatfooted but dont use inserts and it doesnt bother you will they disqualify me?
Haha I'm all the way flat footed and they got me in and out and before you know it i signed my life away. Depends on what meps you go to and your doctor
I couldn’t piss for the test because I was holding a big shit in to help me make weight. I eventually pissed after drinking so much water I wanted to puke. Made weight barely thanks to that big shit glad I made it please thank me for my service.
Thank you for making me lmao
Wtf lmao thank you for your big shit lmaooooo
thank you for your service