How do I Confront Conflict as an INFP? | CS Joseph Responds
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
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CS Joseph responds to the the Acolyte question how do I confront conflict as an INFP?
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100% accurate. I recommend INFPs write books, make art, travel, or start a business instead of getting a PHD. Also, to commit to doing it no matter what and with rational. When I decide to peruse something, I obsess over it (due to deep shame of my laziness or avoidance of conflict) and it’s DO or DIE. This of course is not the healthiest way to deal with goals lol, but it’s usually what I need to do to get things done.
Also, it’s important to focus on relationships and meaningful things as INFPs. I guess that goes without saying for us.
BTW, I am a teacher lol. I am totally in my element (ENFJ sub) and it’s been a rewarding platform to spread my philosophy. I plan to make art or write a book about something related to this in the future. Although public education is a shit hole of a system, I still find ways of rebelling in my own way. While I don’t think i have the intelligence to be a billionaire haha, I still have influence to get kids to feel proud of themselves and “think better”. I’m pretty lucky.
Personally, I've found a lot of use from investing in pragmatic thought/action. We INFPs want to be useful (Te inferior), and hate ourselves when we are not. If, however, you ask "is my philosophy useful to me, is this principle useful to me, etc." you will naturally engage in some sort of conflict while seeking the answer. INFPs like seeking answers so do that to your benefit, not your detriment. Tbh a philosophy is only useful as a mental exercise for examining how you live now and what new principles to test. But that's just a tool. You are the life, not a philosophy. Don't make abstract rants and ramblings more important than you.
Shame doesn't have to become your source of movement. It's not really about what is good or bad for/to anyone else. You don't have the experience to make such a massive claim; that's arrogance. If you seek out experiences and grasp all the value from those experiences that you can, then you aren't suffering hardship, conflict, or whatever else. You just keep refining yourself while enjoying the ride.
You can live with your demon (Ti) and enjoy its company or you can discard it and suffer its revenge. Test your morals or discard them. Be loving or don't. Read this and try it or passive aggressively tell me to shut up, lol.
Again, an unbeneficial philosophy for yourself is probably a useless tool. Why would someone who wants to be useful hold on to something useless? How do you know it's useless? Test it ya beautiful damn people!
Informative rant over. Keep it up CSJ. Agape to everyone. Peace.
I CONFRONT Conflicts to PREVENT Conflicts
does that makes sense???
As a child, I was very assertive. I feel like one day I gave up on that and let some sort of faint overshadowed that spirit. But that "warrior"-mindset is still underneath the surface, atm 90% (unconsiously) channeled into passive aggressivenes. Its true that if I could have channeled it into proper assertiveness, things like my apprenticeship would have tourned out great.
Same! I had this exact experience. I used to be so confrontational and I eventually stopped because of being bullied and also being afraid to be made out to be the bad guy all the time. I eventually just got tired and sick of it.
I was willing to be supportive and be his friend during his difficult time, but he finally pushed me over the edge. I release myself from any guilt of abandoning this INFP. He refuses to learn, refuses to see that conflict is a way to grow, he’s been doing the same things for 30 years and expecting a different result. I’m tired of his abuse and inability to grow, inability to trust, to be humble, to listen. Fucking incredible. I have to move on now, I put him in the trash bin in my mind. There’s others out there who will respect me and love me. And if he’s unwilling to do the work, he deserves to stay in the ditch. That’s my opinion. Sorry, not sorry.
I really appreciate all you do man, you are very talented and intelligent, you really break stuff down to where it is easily understood.
As an INFP male that landed in redneckville USA I can tell you conflict has been a big part of my life, and for reasons other than that as well just from life experiences in general and family in particular. In any case I absolutely love the way you take the piss out of us INFP’s, we need it, and your insight into this subject is extremely circumspect as far as I can tell anyway, it is palpable.
Absolutely!! I have improved SO much from recently conflicts, and I actually now seek it out so that the learning feels more earned are real.
that's really true, i have been going through so many conflicts in the past few years that i dont even know if it worth all the pain. There were so many conflicts that make me wonder if there is something wrong with me. People question the kind of person I am because of those conflicts. But as Chase said it here, it make me rethink. I do realize that through all those conflicts and the endurance and discipline i force my self to go through , i did learn a lot. It made me see the reality of a lot of my "theories" . Thanks Chase for showing me that my efforts didn't go in vain, it produced something =))
Wow...I don't understand a word of this. I've spent most of my life confronting stupidity and unfairness... But tailored to my definition of success. Becoming a billionaire isn't on my list. Being a teacher seems to provide ample opportunity for conflict both up and down the chain of command. It gives me multiple opportunities to refine my choices based on my values and challenges me to put my money where my mouth is... But I've always had a basic drive to discover more and broaden what I teach each year--34 years so far. And I recognize that I may not reach the elevation and organization of my best friend teacher who is probably ESTJ, but I also prepare students to take AP Spanish Literature tests with good success. The impact of studying with me on their life has given them head starts on college, tuition free; has pointed them to pursuits they're passionate about, and given them the assurance of the attention and guidance of an adult who is passionate about Language and Literature and passionate about seeing them as individuals full of potential. Maybe this is the application of conflict seeking you mention...I have no idea. But I respectfully remain totally confused by your observation and advice.
I only give myself a pat on the back when I try "risky" stuff out, but it's always decisions that have a 100% success rate. Those aren't actually risks tho, I should take more actual gambles. I am always focused on the rewards of my gambles to see if they are worth pursuing.
I'm tired of being undignified because I can't say no to people yet I also hate conflict and tension but I need to figure out which option is in my best interest in every situation.
A creepy customer demands a discount? Screw my dignity, I'm in a vulnerable position, there's nothing to gain from refusing his request, it's not in my best interest. Someone interesting is trying to make conversation? Take the risk to see where it goes instead of being a wimp, it's an actual risk worth taking.
The entrepreneur dude you mentioned took risks that were worth it because there was nothing to lose which doesn't actually make it inherently risky. INFPs are so lazy that they are good at picking and choosing their battles.
its interesting to see that all the comments on here have been written by infps who have dealt with conflict. so i would say that chases advice is once again for the infps that are very early in the process. you dont make it to adulthood as an infp without understanding the inherent need and worth of conflict. "a flawless diamond is worthless" while sloth is an absolute monstrosity to deal with i find it doesnt exist in the creative spaces because that would limit my creativity, it exists in the spaces where there are little to no repercussions. its also interesting because we infps thrive in chaos, and a messy room is certainly indicative of a busy mind, but an external conflict is not always going to infer an internal experience. and sometimes fate forces our hand in areas we dont act in. heres a fun fact for infps, you wont have strong extraverted intuition without getting out of your comfort zone, you wont find the philosophers stone without entering the cave you fear, and extraverted intuition is really going to help you navigate your journeys stepping stones, because the steps will stagnate when you do, and the path will reveal itself when you have.
You had at me at confront conflict! :)
I am blown away by this video! Thanks so much to the acolyte who asked the question.
Thank you for confirming ive travelled the correct path. I was very socially inedpt didnt leave home till 21 and suffered an episode after which i forced myself to engage with people and the world. I have a lot to be grateful for even though traumas have left me in my safety zone, only just now getting out and about again with my children. Having children really inhibited my confidence to be out in public but that fear is being tackled slowly...lol 😊
That position looks so comfy. ❤ Do it again. Sloth has cut my learning to smithereens. Sloth is my greatest nemesis. War within.
I've thought about this a lot & concluded that the more you get outside your comfort zone the more you will become a fully formed INFP OR an INFP-A. So INFP's when they're young are INFP-T & you haven't had very many life experiences & as you get older life has a way of forcing you into uncomfortable situations but you go through with it anyway bc the risk is worth the reward. And the more you do this the more confident you become in your authentic self. Eventually you will hopefully get to the point where you don't seek out these situations but you don't avoid them either. And one day you're 40 and suddenly the shy, people pleasing, person that was always 2nd guessing themselves has matured into a confident, mature, well rounded, confident in their own skin adult who dare I say is close to achieving that illusive state of "INFP NIRVANA".
I needed to hear this! Thank you so much
Love Robert Greene's books. Especially Mastery.
My convictions about typology are somewhat divergent, but as a first year secondary school teacher I've met my fair share of conflict and it has definitely helped me grow as a person. I've also had positive interactions with my students which have helped me grow so I disagree with this notion that as a teacher you're stuck in a comfort zone - I think this is not even the case when you remain in academia though I have to admit that my life at university felt like living in an ivory tower. I have taught about typology amongst others your theory was mentioned (as critical as I am about it) and I hope my students have learned something, though the affective dimension of being a teacher has certainy made a bigger impression on me than the pedagogic dimension (in so far as they are distinguishable).
Laziness is a for sure definite problem but I would also say fear is as well, at least for me. It keeps us burdened a lot and from doing a lot of things. I'm always so afraid of the consequences of conflict due to past trauma and whatnot but it is something we must move past because it's not healthy to stay trapped in your safe space as you said. It's really stagnating.
„How do i confront conflict as an INFP?“
My first though: „I just don‘t. Lol“
Conflict has made me closer with a female ESFJ I know. We have little fights every few months but the conflicts have grown us. We're best friends.
Charles an ISFP
The Question was like 9w1 to 9w8...we should have stand in our ground
I realized that the best way for infps to seek conflict and failure is to understand that their potential is wasted if they choose to be lazy.
And then they need to essentially feel ashamed about their sloth, triggering their Te inferior and Fi hero to make themself pro active.
They need to use their habit of being their worst critic as fuel for success instead of an excuse for giving up on unlocking their full potential.
Literally how I do it haha
I have an INFP roommate who has declared his love for me and given me lovely compliments.
Unfortunately his spineless behavior in conflicts is super unattractive. He won’t defend me when one particular friend of his is constantly nasty.
There’s no way I would accept that as a male counterpart.
I’m an INTJ
I needed this
I suggest you chew on a carrot 🥕 rather than smoke a cigar.
Thank you CS joseph! I love your video! It’s so helpful:)
Do you think this is the reason for discontent amongst INFP’s? I feel perpetually discontent with my life. Im not sure if I should fix this by trying to accept my life by seeing the positive in it or if I should take a more radical approach and carry out some of the crazy dreams/ideas I have. In other words, do INFP’s need to get rid of their highly idealist perception of what life should be to feel content? Or are they valid in their thoughts and should go out and try to achieve the life they envision?
Having bipolar has made me a little less conflict avoidant than I otherwise would have been.
At first, I would blow up and explode randomly and without filter. Usually when someone raged at me and I decided to rage back
I decided to not let mental health conditions control me and I tried to control it.
I sometimes feel the rage bubble up, but instead of unleashing the beast, state what needs to be said, but without yelling and abusing. I give myself permission to be angry, but realize going in that I am still dealing with human beings that deserve respect.
While at the same time not being a doormat and put up with their mistreatment.
Is a life of perpetual suffering & conflict really worth it? Im tired of it all.
Way to open with the big guns! Avoid conflict = be shallow and stupid! Haha, that is the very best example of reverse psychology I have ever experienced! I'm smart enough to know it's happening as well as smart enough to concede your point! Brilliant. Now let's see if it's enough to actually get me to pull my fingers out of my ears next time someone starts yelling!
Interesting! Thank you! ^o^
Great advice as usual. Thanks 👍🏼👍🏼
You mean Fi-losopher's stone?
💎💎💎💎💎 so true!
Love this.
Your hair style looks cool kind of reminds me of the singer from Sabaton.
Don't encourage him, that hair cut is horrendous.
@@thestranger6340 lol it takes a minute to get used to but it looks rough its punk rock style
OK so note to self.... take conflict head on..... -_-; uugghhhhh conflict seems to follow me!
It reminds me of that metal song by As I Lay Dying "through struggle" (only through struggle I begin to understand).
Oh... and sloth
They are kinda cute, aren't they? 😊
As an infp in a real conservative family ive always found it hard to impose myself which has led me to follow a bath i hate because i try as much as possible to avoid conflict with my father im 21 studying to become an automatics engineer and i hate it ive decided to confront dad finally in the summer to block my university year to redo an exam called " bac " that we do in our country this exam determines what studies im gonna chose later on ive always wanted to enter medical school but ive always failed i failed 3 times actually, due to .. me not doing my best and basically just sitting in bed and saying im depressed and not moving , i hope it will go well
Im sorry if my english is bad its not my mother language
Bonne chance du coup :/ te laisse pas décourager en tout cas
@@littlelight-zi9wx thank u sm :")
Hard to hear, but good advice. But how do we as infps get over the extreme discomfort of that conflict or the damage we may cause in relationships as a result of conflict?
You have faith in yourself, your Si child can endure.
At least i feel normal and there are people like me on this earth
Ooooh good one
Good video
Ouch! …but true….
Very good video, infp must go into pain.
Are enfj avoidant about conflict is this because of their infp shadow? Do all sides of our mind always work together like a mega mind ?
Romans 5:1-5
You are The coolest man in earth 😎
Does this apply to intp as they have si child?
honestly i've been so comfortable with laziness my whole life that i never treated it like i should.
what kind of conflicting situations and exposing activities you guys think an INFP should take?
my mind gets completely blank when i try to imagine what step to go first.
I'm an INFP too, I dont think I have much experience so I hope others will answear to this too. My life is a constant fight between what I want to do and what I don't do because of fear. I wanted to get into interesting talks with people smarter than me, I wanted to ask questions, to understand more, sometimes to *contradict* them. I wanted to have meaningful experiences but always refused the oportunity or I just stayed retreated and made no use of those experiences. My advice would be to get out of your shell, do the things you see others do that make you whisper 'Gosh, that's so amazing, I wish I were like that'. From any small interaction changes to big life choices just do what attracts you and inspires you. You need to seek that, but some examples would be> talk openly and go to the people that you admire, tell close people about your passions, try a sport and practice it till you're good and changes your attitude in life (be comitted and make friends along the way), love in order to understand yourself and others and build something meaningful, put yourself in difficult situations where you have to train your mind and think (like writing, projects, - do something concrete and *valuable*), do a job so you'll organise your life around a fixed program. All of them are concrete actions, not just sittings and reflections. I know for infps work looks scary, maybe too demanding, but take small steps first.The most important thing is to be more open to anything and actually TAKE the time to try them. You need results that reflect in reality so you can compare yourself in the future to your past self. Is hard. But you have nothing to lose if you try this, only brings better understading in life. And yeah, always learn outside college/school. This looks too inspirational, but, well, that's my default sounding mode
How about appealing to your inferior function, Te? Te can serve as a tool to assert your judgements and opinions outside of your mental landscape while it is also about organizing the external environment, both physically and mentally. So utilize both your Fe and Ni to understand both the Si and Te. That can take the form of asking someone to help you create goals and the systems to get there, presenting your ideas in front of an audience, asking for feedbacks, organizing a trip or a party, etc. And learn from all the mistakes so far to get to the equilibrium.
1. Workout. It will train your mind to embrace discomfort
2. Write a list of things you hate doing. Write at the top of our list motivations to change and simply “embrace discomfort and own it”
3. Read Mark Mansons book. Any approach from wanting to gain because you dont think what you are, do, or have is good enough simply isnt going to work. Come from positive. what CS outlines in the middle of this video about just owning pain is pure gold but you can toss the bit about being an absolute failure. Fear of failure isnt a stable motivator especially for in tune INFPs in touch with group consciousness which will continue to progress. Shaming yourself as lazy isnt going to be effective. (Treat yourself like the badass beautiful self you are (wouldnt be here if you didnt desire/will growth) and ur already 50% there
4. Learn about masculine dynamic. INFP has a pretty vicious and versatile superego so our own power is something we fear. To elevate this masculine is going to be key. This is the edge of my growth process personally and will probably be a personal dance were doing our whole lives.
5. Therapy. Self compassion. Much of our energy is wasted on our sadistic tendency toward pain and treasuring it like gds gift to the universe. In a way our pains and trauma Have been a huge gift in that they were the essential poison that ordered the doctors medicine which we may not have asked for otherwise. But we have to accept and embrace it to even be at all able to release it. Your kind tender sensitivity here is the best tool for your healing. Otherwise the pent up energy stores will result in what he calls sloth. Its not exactly our personality- I personally have thrown my back out several times from training too hard in the gym- but it is the result of our impatience, unkindness to ourselves, superego desire to control v.s. inner desire to rebel, and overall sentimental attachment and value of our trauma. Again, Kyle Cease. Parts therapy speaks to our creativity. Etc.
6. Meditation. Knowing what your intuition wants of you and clarifying the costs of not following.
hope this helps! forcibly doing what you hate because you want to be a better person is the general and ideal approach :) GL
Yes 🙌🏻
How is robert greene and john paul dejoria INFPs?
They are, use the type grid or UDJA
What do you mean by "living Virtue"? I don't think you speaking about the loyalty etc
Taking Initiative
Sounds LIKE INFPs transforms into xNFJs
Chinese being my first language, I don't see how having sex translates to flowery combat. None of the ways of saying having sex that I know of sounds remotely close to flowery combat. Which exact words were used?
It’s an old poetic form.
🙏
So you mean infps are better be lawyers?
What's "the philosopher's stone" ?
Watch season 17 episode for philosopher types
hey, man, just wanted to ask how much unhealthy you think cigarettes can be
Very
Why do you always say that degrees/credentials are meaningless? I don't get it.
Because the authority they grant you isn’t real authority. It’s fake.
@@CSJoseph so what do you think an infp should do in their life to attract high quality people?