🗺 Get the Amazing Maps of CzePeku starting at $1! www.patreon.com/czepeku 🦋 "Truth is a funny thing" I hope you guys like the new background! I love the aesthetic of Destiny's Savathun and her Throne World and decided to bring some alien vibes to the tavern. We won't have another Destiny themed one for a while... I promise.
The group with the 10-year-old kid seemed to have the rule that ONLY HE could solve the puzzles, so if you wait 25 minutes, before FINALLY asking, "May I have a try at it," and then solving it, you're WRONG, because you're spoiling the fun for the STAR OF THE SHOW, the ten-year-old kid. Yeah, if you jump right in, and solve all the puzzles, that's annoying. But if he's actually waiting twenty-five whole minutes, before asking for a turn, and then they get pissed, because he succeeded, then it's not JUST OP being a "That Guy." It's the whole group having issues. First of all, they did NOT communicate. Secondly, 25 MINUTES? And they think he's jumping the gun by asking for his turn? It's perfectly reasonable for EVERYONE to have a turn, in a timely manner, and if one of them succeeds, that is FINE. Especially if the PC is smart, and has every reason to succeed. I mean, would you expect Percy De Rollo to sit back for an hour, and let a child handle an issue that he could solve in a snap? Maybe, sometimes, if it was his own child, and there were no ticking clocks anywhere. But EVERY TIME?! Absolutely not. OP may not have been the best player, but the group does not get off scott-free, either. If it's a matter of behavior that should be changed, and can be changed, then a conversation needs to happen, SPECIFYING what is wrong, and what needs to change, and what that change needs to actually be. Instead, they ghosted him, and left him wondering what he did wrong, and how, and why. Ghosting is RUDE, and in this case, it also doesn't solve the problem. Nobody else, unless they simply intuitively fit in 100%, is going to be able to continue with them. And OP cannot improve as a player, without actual feedback. And meanwhile, it's taken him years to even try again, and he is afraid he'll be ghosted again. That's not right. Cut and run is for the DM who thinks it's OK to R@[3 PC's and instantly impregnate them with the antichrist. Not for, "You're annoying, because you don't let the baby win everything, every time, and actually expect to have a turn after half an hour. Booo!" Yeah, I'm on OP's side here, provisionally. 1) He learned about the yelling, and he improved on that. He TRIED to pull back. He waited twenty-five minutes for his turn. Yeah, he really made progress, and he was still punished for not being ENOUGH, without any communication about what ENOUGH would be. I hope that the third time is the charm, and this great DM is communicative, and really knows how to run a game AND the people at the table.
In the "I was that guy" story, what was more concerning is that NO ONE bothered trying to talk to him about anything. They completely ghosted him and never really gave him a chance to work on changing what they viewed as problem behavior.
It sounds like their behaviors were identified during the sessions as they arose, and they admitted themselves that while Everyone was aware of the issues, OP did not always change their problematic behaviors enough or at all. They were given multiple chances, too. I don't really know what else you think they should have been entitled to
@@Calebgoblinit seems that they _werent_ told that they were doing this stuff though. A bunch of people seeing the behaviors and mentally "giving them another chance" without even telling them "hey, you're doing this, please stop" isn't actually giving them another chance. I know this shit because I've BEEN this person, who no one would tell me why they were getting angry at me, or never saying why they ghosted me, hell I JUST had someone, after ghosting me for almost 2 years (when prior they and I had created very in-depth stories and characters together), that they'd be taking their characters back, removing my stuff from all of their stories, and basically backhandedly told me "thanks for the good and bad times, they won't be remembered". This doesn't help someone change. This doesn't help someone through their problems. Especially if the guy is autistic/Neurodivergent like the story comes across as, folks like us don't just _know_ this stuff. We think we're doing good because NO ONE SAYS OTHERWISE. We think it's just how social interaction works. We think it's just the default for existing. Treating someone in this manner doesn't help anything, in fact it actually causes TRUST ISSUES and causes people to become more bitter and less willing to hear people out. Literally, speaking from experience. They're not entitled. They just wanna actually know when something is wrong, and not be left in the fucking dust without warning.
@@Calebgoblin They could have TOLD them to their FACE that they weren't a part of the game anymore instead of just not talking to them because their too immature to properly handle conflict. And given that he asked MULTIPLE TIMES why they were kicking him, they clearly DIDN'T tell them what was wrong! I'm guessing they just figured some stuff out afterwards with the benefit of hindsight! If you have a problem player, give direct and CLEAR communication to them about what they are doing wrong and how they need to change! It's not that hard, but so many adults would rather act like high schoolers and just stop talking to them. It's rude as hell!!! Plus, as the other comment says, people who are neurodivergent don't know something is wrong unless SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING!!! Backhanded comments and dirty looks are not the same as just saying what is wrong! And it also really fucks you up when people who you thought were your friends just stop talking to you! It makes you analyze everything you do and makes you super nervous in social situations from then on! Try and have some sympathy for people that don't pick up on social cues and listen look back at the story and realize that he wouldn't be bugging the new player about why he was kicked from the group if they had clearly stated what was wrong!
JESUS yeah. His first story is damn near triggering. He's still friends with them, but they don't say a word to him about the game, just silently kick him out of it and carry on discussing it in front of him? What really hurts to hear is how he acts like it's entirely his fault, when he clearly messed up, but they handled it in the cruelest possible way - and he still calls them friends.
Imagine if the OP stuck around for the campaign instead of getting kicked. DM: "WHY ARE YOU ROLLING ADVANTAGE!? I DIDN'T SEE YOU MOVE INTO FLANKING!" OP: "Um...I'm a barbarian and I said I was using reckless attack..." DM: "BEING HOSTILE, ARE WE!? THAT'S ANOTHER 300 XP DOCKED!!!"
What I don’t understand is why the friend of apparently 10 years could not come to the “that guy” and explain the problems they were having and try to work through them? He might have some issues with emotional regulation but they also have issues with communication and confrontation. That party was not perfectly innocent in this situation either. “On a scale from 1-10 you’re a natural 20” I actually really like that it’s just the right amount of cheesy lol I’m really glad that DM matured and gave OP a real apology
What I'm wondering is if with the "that guy" story if he is forgetting/not acknowledging when they did try to talk to him about the problems. I've seen it before, where someone (may or may not be on the spectrum as well) with a "strong" personality ends up acting out within a group, the group tries to gently talk to them about it, and the "that guy" ends up either blowing it off, misunderstanding what they were trying to say, or forgetting what was discussed and just keeps repeating the same behavior. Its been 10 years with repeated attempts at him getting into games with variety of different people, and the same exact issue comes up...usually that is more indicative of the common person. That could also be why the friend doesn't really want to get into it with them because they may have actually tried to talk to them about their behaviour, gotten blow back from it, and decided that pushing against them isn't worth it and its easier to just let them do what they want. Unfortunately I've been on both sides of this equation, and it sucks a LOT to both be the person isolated due to miscommunication or where it didn't sink in...and the friend who has to just sit back and silently watch your friend make awful decisions because you know nothing you say will do anything to change things.
The one thing that was running through my head for the OP of the "That Guy" story was: it sounds like he might be on the spectrum. As someone who was diagnosed with autism, my trouble has always been emotional regulation and expressing it constructively. I realize that not everything can be explained with autism, but it felt like something that I would have done.
The 'That Guy's story: that second experience doesn't sound like it was just his issue tbh. 15-20 minutes of waiting before asking to solve a puzzle/answering if ppl ask u directly sounds reasonable. Also there's just going to be issues when you bring a child to your group of 20yo players that even more socially nuanced players will struggle with. That legit sounds like an issue on both sides.
Oh my GOD the story where the girl keeps getting asked out is so relatable. It’s such a sinking feeling realizing the people who you thought were your friends were actually just trying to get with you. It sounds like a good problem to have on the surface but it really hurts because if you deny them, it seems like you almost always lose that friend. I don’t want a romantic relationship, I want friends I can rely on and I’m clear about that from the beginning. But for whatever reason, it keeps happening where friends ask me out and when I say no they don’t want to be around me anymore. It’s very isolating, so I feel for her being in that awkward situation.
Especially when they're disgusting like the DM, who thought he had dibs on her because he met her first. The sad thing is, if he had asked her first, she probably would have dated him.
And then, the way they make it seem like your friendship is a "consolation prize," and not good enough! FRIENDSHIP ROCKS! And true friendship tends to last longer than most romances. You have to keep trying romance after romance until you find the RIGHT one for you, that actually lasts a lifetime. There is a lot of trial and error. And yet, many, if not most, people have several friendships that last decades, because it's a whole different ballgame.
and they dont want another friend. thats their right just the same as you not wanting a romantic partner is yours. most adults have all the friends they are ever going to have, thats just a fact of life.
One of the important things you need to do when kicking somebody from the party is to inform them that they are not welcome and that they have been kicked. Silently uninviting them and going behind their back because of issues they have shows that the group themselves who are okay with this have their own different issues. And if the GM does so, lying about the player leaving to the rest of the group without informing them of what happened, that's a red flag on the GM's side as well. Just because a problem player is being rightfully kicked, doesn't mean they are the only problem in the group. Be clear, communicate.
I was in a d&d group in high school, back when I was still presenting male, and the one girl in the group asked me out. I was confused as to why and she said it was because I was the only one who didn't hit on her and I was kind. We didn't work out because honestly, that's not a good premise for dating, but we stayed friends and are still friends to this day. She's the one who taught me how to do my makeup after I started transitioning. High school kids gonna high school kids.
The diffrence between weaponizing your emotions and just having emotions is how you want everyone else to react. If you just need to get it out of your system you're just having emotions. If you want a very specific outcome, 'op should go home' 'do my plan' 'they need to stop talking' and so on, you're weaponizing. Even if you think "oh but I really feel these emotions" you're still weaponizing them. The healthy way to handle it is to handle your emotions first ('just give me a moment') then come back at a later time to discuss the situation that triggered it. This applies to the dude that had poor emotional regulation earlier in the story too. Your emotions are YOURS to handle, it's not on everyone else around you. Learn to regulate your emotions so you don't act out, which generally means just shutting up for a bit.
Yeah. I don't fault people that try to give benefit of doubt. Myself though I'm hella prickly about red flags. I bailed on one campaign after the interview when the DM and a existing player made a suggestive 'dommy mommy' joke after I describe my character as "She doesn't get real wound up either direction. She has the vibe of a tired mum that's not really going to intercede unless their kid is about to burn the house down or severely hurt themselves." If it's my friends and I screwing around that's one thing, coming from two random dudes a bit older than my irl sons... yeah nope nope nope right out the door.
About the Tears Over Nothing story I had a similar but diet soda experience of someone trying to impose on “my characters moment”. In the village my paladin is from I was talking to a NPC that my character had learned aged like 60 years from when he last was there, due to memory loss magic etc my paladin was not aware it had been that long. During this realization and pretty dramatic moment the rogue just started narrating his character tryna find a shop. The DM had to tell him to stop because we were in the middle of something and it was just an awkward buzzkill for the session. When the inverse happened to this player he would get audibly agitated or ask you to stop interrupting him over table. So that was lame.
Oh yeah, Paladin in Tears Over Nothing was absolutely weaponising her tantrum there. Slamming the door so everyone could hear her, staying right on the front doorstep so no one would miss her, those are way too performative to not be deliberate attempts at manipulation
I have had (and have witnessed) tantrums like this and can tell you that no, there are in fact people in life that are just that childish and immature. Horrible behavior, not necessarily deliberate, you can better yourself out of it if you want to put the effort.
@@Heriarka Just because there are some cases where people are that immature to act like that, doesn't mean it wasn't planned in this case. Paladin with her Mary Sue main character definitely sounds like the type of person that would weaponize crying and manipulate things in order to get her way, and this definitely has the feel of something that was planned. If someone was just having a tantrum, there would be signs beforehand, not her acting calm and like nothing was wrong until break time, and then suddenly slamming the door to draw attention to herself, and making herself unmissable crying and then throwing all the blame on OP.
Yeah. In my experience, when people just are TRULY overwhelmed, and need to cry, they tend to go somewhere ALONE and QUIET, so they will NOT be disturbed, while they process and get ahold of themselves. And they use that time, not just to release, but to THINK, and often come back out with a more nuanced and balanced perspective, such as "What you did sucked. However, I see that I could have avoided it, entirely, had I done X, instead. That does NOT excuse what you did, yet it means that the entire situation is not 100% on your shoulders, and I have learned a lesson to avoid such incidents in the future." Such as, "He was a complete and total creeper and did inexcusable things, yet I now see that I missed a parade of red flags. Should I ever see those red flags in a future relationship, I will LEAVE before it gets to the point of inexcusable things. I'm not to blame for his actions. I was just naive to not see or see and ignore the red flags." Naive is NOT AT FAULT. Naive IS, however, a danger to self and others, and wisdom is a GOOD THING. No victim-blaming, just self-improvement.
I think "I was a that guy" should share that post with this new party. He's been very measured in how he's approach the mistakes he feels he's made in the past. He's clarified that he has grown over years, tried to be better, tried to be aware of mistakes he might be making in the moment. This seems like someone who would be willing to learn if the people who were leaving him told him WHY they were leaving. And while it *might* be his fault that people didn't want to play with him, it is *not* his fault that they chose to ghost without giving him constructive criticism. And that isn't fair to him. If he raised his history and his concerns directly with this group, it sounds like they would be open to listening. The second group didn't sound like a good idea - including a literal child and then expecting everybody to be totally capable of pulling back their own intelligence? That's a bad time. I think the only thing he was a "that guy" about at all is that he raged when abandoned. Which while shitty, is kind of understandable, especially when it's happened to him more than once. And especially, when he recognizes he was in the wrong for getting heated. He seems like a totally alright guy who's judging himself way too much. I hope he sees this, and I wish him luck!
Honestly I came out of it feeling so bad for him that he was so discouraged with TTRPG's and was questioning whether he made a "good character". Yes "That Guy" players are a problem. But no communication within a group is also a problem. They certainly lose the high ground by not even telling them they had been kicked out of the party.
I love your skit about riddles for kids! XD My group is NOTORIOUSLY BAD at solving riddles, and we've spent hours on what is essentially a kindergarten-level puzzle 😅 What's kind of funny is that we also do the opposite--solve puzzles we're not supposed to be able to solve. We found a cave that our DM later told us he meant for us to come back to later when we'd found a particular item to solve the puzzle. We figured out that in order to open a locked door, we needed to activate 8 floor tiles by standing on them (we only had 5 people). Our solution was to buff the hell out of our tabaxi monk, allowing her to move 680 feet per round. She moved fast enough to activate all 8 floor tiles and we got the door open! Fortunately, our DM was super amused--he just wanted to see what we would try for this intentionally "impossible" puzzle and found our solution hilarious. But trying to put 3 gems in the right order to access an oracle? We almost got TPK'd by lightning after activating the lair's security. Good times.
What kills about the story with Paladin is that her "No, I'm going to kill him on sight" and "No, let me talk to my dad first" could have been a *great* roleplay moment for Paladin. But... nope. Player couldn't handle her control issues being bucked and played the crocodile tears card.
Yeah. As long as she kept it all IN CHARACTER, it could have made for some delicious drama. Maybe Paladin steps up to try to kill him on sight, and the other PCs step in and say, "We DISCUSSED THIS. We give OP the chance to talk to him FIRST. Maybe he can be redeemed!" And maybe the Paladin would break through, and try to kill the father, but at the same time, begin fighting with the rest of the party, and it's a three-way battle, with OP focusing on the father, and TRYING to have a conversation with him, through the battle. Then, when the paladin goes down, and is unconscious (or dead, and waiting for revivify), OP has her moment with her father. Then, the group has a chat about what to do with Paladin. "I say we raise dead, but we take the cost of the diamond out of her own personal account."
With the "I was that guy" story. I feel like context is probably needed. Not to pry, but I genuinely wonder if that person is on the spectrum, because if so, they need to inform other groups if they are. It would probably work wonders for helping them keep patient with them as fellow players, and either way autistic or not, I suggest they ask at the end of each session if anyone felt like they were too much. I'd normally suggest only asking if they start sensing if others are off, but given their history of being unable to read the social room, I'd suggest just doing it every session and encourage them to be honest with their thoughts.
With the "that guy" story. If you are concerned about your behavior and genuinely want to grow as a person, communicate. People are way more forgiving and flexible with behavioral issues if you tell them up front. Im loud and talk too much. I try really hard not to spotlight hog, and to give others their time to shine. I think ive done this well as no one has ever expressed an upset to me, but they also know they can tell me to shut up at any moment and i will be fine with that.
Yeah I feel like nthe reason for the silent kicking was probably out of fear that the OP would blow up on them like they ended up doing to the second group after being excluded. Giving people a heads up beforehand might have made them feel more confident to try talking it out first.
That's the problem with hindsight. You don't realize it's a problem until it's too late. This is why everyone should be more open to communication, rather than just going for the extreme. As someone on the spectrum, I've been burned far too many times for things I didn't realize were bad until far later. In my case, I love dirty jokes, but sometimes go a bit too far without realizing it (social boundaries confuse me sometimes) and instead of just talking about it, people would report me to someone in charge and I'd get in trouble, with no way to explain myself or apologize. Of course, now that I know I'm on the spectrum (only discovering a couple years ago) I have a general idea of what to look out for, and I can give some people a heads up. But if you don't know it's a problem, you can't really talk about it first. This is where OP now has an advantage, because they realize the problem and they can give a warning, which they couldn't do the previous two times. At the same time, it also falls to the group to talk with OP about any issues as well, instead of just ghosting them.
@AzureKyle I'm also on the spectrum and honestly if you make a group so uncomfortable that they ghost you it's on you to learn to adjust that behavior. A simple "hey I'm neurodivergent so if I ever say or do anything out of line please tell me so I can apologize and adjust accordingly" is all you need. People don't owe others patience and second chances for bad behavior. If you expect people to bend to your bad behavior instead of improving that just makes you an asshole (note the you in this sentence is a general you to the wider public and not a personal attack)
@@katiecakesl4691 Well yeah, if you're doing it on purpose. But if you don't realize what you're doing, you can't really warn people. Also, some people take extreme reactions to something that others may see as harmless, so them ghosting OP may just be an extreme reaction to something that could have been talked about. This is what I was trying to get at. As I said, there were instances where I did something wrong and didn't realize it, and instead of talking to me about it, other people took the extreme and went to complain to someone else about it, getting me in trouble. This could be like that, in the sense they could have talked to OP about it, but chose instead to exclude them. Of course, now that OP realizes what's causing these people to ghost them, they can let their new group know about what's happened in the past, and what may happen now, so they're better prepared and know that they can just talk to OP if something goes wrong. Some people fear confrontation, especially if OP was prone to emotional outbursts and yelling, so tend to opt to leave instead of talking it out, but if OP talks to this new group first, they'll know they can talk to OP and sort things out if it happens.
"On a scale of 1 to 10, you are a Natural 20" Okay weirdly enough that's so corny it actually wraps back around to being sweet, depending on how it's delivered.
The story about the paladin stepping in on OP’s backstory is, woof. Not just her “breakdown” to weaponize tears. But the entire thing with basically wanting ti take over someone else’s backstory. Now, I will admit I stepped on some toes I think with a backstory once in the past (a character’s ex was trapped in a crystal and was believed to have murdered his master. So in hopes to get them to talk, I grabbed the crystal and swapped my soul with the Ex’s, letting the Ex borrow my body so they could talk things out). It’s not something I would do again without talking with other people Out if Character first. My current table, we’re delving into a handful of backstories. Mine has been a bit more, front and center, as most backstories will be covered in our second campaign. But mine? It’s in the city. We’ve touched on it a LOT, and will finish the main arc of it as a Jump Off Point for Campaign 2 (for reference, my character is the adoptive son of the Rosznar family of Waterdeep, in a Dragon Heist module that is getting a Homebrew sequel, instead of Dungeon of the Mad Mage). I enjoy having my backstory pop up. But I also, due to cases of possibly being a spotlight hog in previous games due to excitement, don’t want to take up a lot of game time dealing with my character’s backstory and taking away from the fun of others. Thankfully, my group loves the story and character enough to enjoy what we DO get. Which includes Divine Dreams from a lost god (I THINK Hoar), a VERY emotional conversation with my character’s father (which we all loved. And most of the party wants to commit Patricide as a result of), and the party seeing my character finally facing the deep seated trauma he’s left buried (he’s always been a joyous guy with a scaredy cat tendency, and the rare burst of anger, but with Backstory coming up, they’ve been there to see as he broke down sobbing, and even went near catatonic after one of then used Disguise Self to look like my father to break a charm).
If puzzles have you... well puzzled, try the Barbarian Solution! Works on most puzzles. And the method is simple (come on it's a barbarian afterall). Step 1. Find Puzzle Step 2. Shake Puzzle Step 3. Smash Puzzle with 2 ton HAMMER OF DOOM!!! If Puzzle is still not solved then, Step 4. Find Puzzle Maker. Step 5. Threaten Puzzle Maker. If Puzzle is STILL not solved then, Step 6. SHOVE Puzzle Maker into Puzzle!
I was in a game where the DM put in the Master Mirror riddle from Witcher 3. I was the only person at the table who had played the game and gave everyone else about 10 minutes trying to work it out. Was a really fun part of the session
OMG I love that you used part of the Death Note score in one of your skits! I also feel for the OP of that second story. I'm in my forties and was only diagnosed with Autism and ADHD a couple of years ago. It explained why I'd been struggling for so much of my life to control my own emotions and understanding etiquette that people don't explain because it's obvious to everyone but me, etc... Getting diagnosed has helped my self esteem and helped me to understand myself, and all of this has helped me to get along so much better with other people. OP says they're doing better now, and I'm really happy for them.
"I was a that guy" story...they didn't...they didn't talk to him after the game? Idk I think if these groups are so conflict avoidant that they can't give a FRIEND constructive criticism, I don't think that's a good group to be a part of. I'm someone who, in my excitement when I first started DnD, also got a bit too loud and jumped to react to everything at the start. I think OP deserved a little more grace then what they were given. When you aren't used to it, it can take a couple sessions to feel out the flow of the improv.
That "That Guy" story reminds me of my first dnd group that ghosted me like that. I had no specific problems that was unique except for maybe the fact I wasn't well-versed in how DND works and I was hard of hearing. I say *maybe* because I was asking the DM for help and my other friends were new as me. Any possible problems I exhibited were because I copied behaviors or followed the plans of other players, I just did what other people wanted. I lasted like 2 sessions, before I stopped receiving emails. It was an after-school game, so I don't know what his plan was because I visited the library the games were held in everyday. None of the other games had space, so I rejected the Librarians offer to get me back in the game because I didn't want to play with someone who didn't want me. I concluded it was my hearing problem, but my sister was adamant it was about race. I'm not sure about her claim, she's crazy but I am naïve so 🤷
Very sincerely, as someone who deals with many different groups and problem players, I really do not think you've identified your problem, and are more likely than not a "that guy". About 90% That Guys do not think they had a real problem, and you're already exhibiting very telltale signs of it, as even in this comment where you're claiming to not have had any POSSIBLE problem behaviours, you're already casting blame on it being just "copying other players" and other such petty language. I'm really not trying to say youre a bad person or that this matters to anyone but you. Most problem players I know are lovely out of game, it's the game that brings it out. Whether they take it too seriously, inadvertantly make others feel like their ideas are bad, are passive aggressive, emotional, complain too much or try to DM as a player or any of a thousand common but not acceptable behaviours. It is inconsequentual to me, but if TTRPGs are something you want to get into, this is an important flag for you to take into account and really make 1000% sure you are not the problem. Ask them if you can. Your response to their answer will also be very telling. Think of it as a learning experience. Best of luck to you, hopefully you get to play again some day! Maybe you'll find whatever the problem in your first game was you've already overcome!
been recently enjoying your videos. really digging the chill, friendly atmosphere! guess i got a new d&d horror story content creator to come back to regularly.
there is nothing wrong with bringing your kind to a dnd game. hell when i finally have kids as soon as i think they're ready im gonna bring them to a dnd game. Its honestly different from case to case, kids act differently, and if the 10 year old was being disruptive i can understand the view point, i suppose the dm could of given people a heads up about him bringing his kid too.
Worse in the workplace Really like the channel Crispy! Your stories helps with learning the ins and outs of Ttrpg and gives me lots of confidence for being a player. Keep up the good work!
0:51 OMG OMG OMG OMG Someone else that uses the Yklwa!!! Sorry, just a little geeked since most times if I mention it people go "Your character uses a Yucky???" -_-
As a woman who spends most of her time in male- dominated hobbies, I have been in a situation like the OP in "Endless Flirting." I was part of a tabletop gaming group that met once a week, and it was all men except myself (single at the time coming off a divorce) and another girl who was dating someone in the group. Now, I met my husband within this group, and we have been together for 10 years now. Two of them aside from my husband had made plans to ask me out. One of them did, and I let him know that I wasn't interested in seeing anyone so soon after my divorce. The other guy never asked me out directly, but during a night where he joined my friends and I for a drunk night, he was apparently stopped from feeding me drinks, and my friends distanced him from me afterwards. Years later, my husband revealed to me that the two of them told him that they were "going to get with" me. He told them they had no chance lol. 10 years later, yeah he was right.
"The other guy never asked me out directly, but during a night where he joined my friends and I for a drunk night, he was apparently stopped from feeding me drinks, and my friends distanced him from me afterwards." Sweet criminy, what kind of creep were you playing with? Glenn Quagmire?
NTA for sure. First of all, the fact that this is a professional environment actually gives them grounds to tell them off for doing this and letting it spill over into the rest of the workplace. Sure, this is a game that the op signed up for just to have fun but since it was then being produced this means it’s professional at this point and that has different laws, including ones about such things. Heck, there may even be other regulations regarding it. Anyway, basically if anyone says they are the you-know, then they need a firm reminder that in any other company, such a thing could go over far worse. The only leniency here is that the op seems to want to let it lie and just have fun and that this isn’t a full blown company, even if they signed up for a more professional approach to the game by signing those contracts. Anyway, yeah. I don’t know, makes me upset that it seems that this person has little protection here though is certainly valid and in the right to turn down the other person.
About puzzles being too easy or solving them too fast. I love puzzles in games, and I have a reputation for solving them quickly and being too thorough with exploration. I was excited to try the other way around, so I came up with a very small adventure focused on exploration and puzzles. I made a few hand-drawn maps, a few puzzles and a fun (I hope) premise for this short scenario, then introduced my D&D pals to this idea. And they rejected it straight away! Knowing how I like too be very serious about this kind of stuff and about the rules, DM and another guy says: "no, sorry, knowing you, I will not be able to deal with this sort of game and you DMing it". I don't know whether I should drop the idea entirely or come up with something more light-hearted. Yet, I'm really disappointed that guys think of me this way.
Thumbs up for the surprise cameo from one of the adult voices from the Charlie Brown cartoons! Now to go watch the music video for "High School Never Ends". Again.
First Story: Jeez, the fact that OP rejecting Amy is causing tension outside of the game is kind of nuts. So OP should've just gone out with Amy to make everyone else feel better? What if it didn't work out? What if OP is right, and Amy is just "in love" with the roleplayer and not the person? If they go on a date or two and it doesn't work out, wouldn't that cause more tension than OP simply turning Amy down? Kind of a wild situation there, but no, OP is not the asshole. OP shouldn't have to put aside their own comfort for the sake of someone else's attraction.
I mean I don’t think “it was too fast” and she might have genuinely fell in love, it’s possible that’s just how that girl falls in love, however at the same time op isn’t required to accept the confession (though I think denying it for just not liking her that way would have been better then saying she can’t be in love with her as it’s too quick which will definitely hurt feelings) the other members saying she was too harsh seems like a problem where some members know one member more then the other and therefore want to defend their friend, Another problem is pretending to have a crush in game while having one out of game, cause now she has to keep pretending about her crush in game while feeling rejected out of game
That 4th story? I’m sorry but I would have CHEWED HER OUT. Im so sick of this mindset of women seeing other women as their “enemy”. This whole “pick me” mindset needs to die.
Re: kid at the d&d table: can't hate it. I've been in the TTRPG space since I was 5 and just rolling dice for my parents because I was in that situation.
For the “I was that guy” story, some advice I’d give: You can play a character that’s a “handful”, but keep in mind that anyone who doesn’t know you personally will think that’s who you really are (because they haven’t met the “real” you). Also, try and find everyone’s comfort level to shenanigans. Is this a light-hearted story full of funny jokes and a lack of consequences, or is this a realistic or darker setting where every action has a heavy consequence. Some people gather to experience new situations and funny hijinks. Others treat their characters as an extension of themselves. An example of silliness would be some clips from “tales from the stinky dragon” (a podcast but TH-cam has cute animated shorts on many scenes that paint the picture perfectly). A serious one might be more like Critical Role? I’m not sure, there are probably more serious ones out there. If you don’t know the people, I’d say try to jn-character reference past hijinks or introduce your character in the middle of one (enough to set a tone & first impression) but overall being a bit subdued outside of that until you get a better sense of everyone’s boundaries. [Our rogue introduced himself as a loose canon entertainer who juggled flasks of bottled lightning to entertain crowds, etc. but during play he rarely did anything that reckless. Honestly, outside of that introduction, he was a pretty chill dude. BUT, we still treated him like a loose canon because of how strong of a first impression it was. He was still able to be the “wild card” of the group without doing too much that can annoy real players that also happen to be strangers to him] I already mentioned it, but I’d put extra emphasis on trying to pick up on (or outright ask) about player expectations and intentions and how it may not be the same as what the character portrays. For example, I’m a pretty chaotic, go-with-the-flow type person. My first character was one that reflected that. My second was a more serious overly-practical guardian character that had no time for wacky stuff. They’d complain, but I, the player, loved all the chaos the others did and liked playing off of it as the straight-man to the party. Our ranger is supposed to be a trickster, but the player inside is a rather serious person. I’m sharing all this stuff about my own party for a reason. We have a rogue with a reputation of being rash, but didn’t do it too often in the party. Our ranger is a rather serious player, and I love hijinks of any kind. Our rogue recently did a wild move that may very well change the course of the narrative, or at least shift the alliances in the campaign. I personally felt like crazy change like that was in-character, and an interesting twist on the story so far. Our ranger did their very best to hide it, but I could tell from their questions and tone that they HATED IT. They were reacting like our rogue player decided to rip apart the whole D&D campaign on a whim. There is still lingering resentment from the ranger player but I still thought it was a fun addition. In-character, my character was horrified, and ranger thought it was dumb as hell (although I felt like it would’ve made sense if they also agreed based on what I know of their backstory, but I could be wrong). Our ranger player clearly had strong boundaries or expectations that got broken there. Our DM seems to feel unsure whether they were neutral or disliked the rogue’s choice. I rambled for a fair bit, but I can’t stress enough the importance of getting a good grasp of everyone’s expectations and boundaries. Try to be relatively harmless until you fully understand player comfort levels. Especially if you’re strangers/acquaintances
So my first ever campaign DMing just finished session 6 yesterday, and the players (team of 6) are loving it. They just rescued a Pied-Piper style girl from a rat infested barn after her flute lost its magical powers and then turned on her. But there was one legitimate horror story... firstly, my wife not really understanding what D&D actually was, and thought I was going mad doing random voices at my computer. And then secondly, my ISP taking an absolute dump on the third session, which meant 30% packet loss. It became basically a charades episode, which wouldn't have been too bad if not that... A scout took pot-shots at our lvl1 group. The first shot was an almost max-roll crit that instantly downed the rogue. The second was a max-roll non crit that downed the bard. ...and then the bard got a nat 1 on a death saving throw and perished... which felt particularly awful because i couldn't even articulate properly what was happening via voice due to the packet loss. We cut the session an hour early, I half-retconned (only this once), and we are now getting back on with it... and they are loving it. ...as a reminder, though, the bard has the "Death" tarot card magically appear in her pack to remind her of the occasion...
"I'm flattered, but I don't know you very well, so I'm not currently interested in getting romantic with you." Literally everyone in the group and entire production company: "How DARE you refuse her? Don't you know that if a person desires you, THEY ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR LOVE, ROMANCE, AND SEX?!" "Um, no. No, I don't think that's actually the case." "YOU'RE TOO HARSH! WE HATE YOU!" Time to dip out, OP. Time to leave the entire group behind. BUT, if this is livestreamed, I highly recommend making a brief statement ONLINE. "Recently, I was asked on a date, in real life, by one of the other players, and because I said I didn't know that person very well, yet, having only met four months prior, that I was not currently ready or interested in beginning an actual romantic relationship with that person, THE ENTIRE CAST AND CREW HAVE TURNED AGAINST ME, because APPARENTLY NOBODY HERE BELIEVES IN BODILY AUTONOMY OR CONSENT, and believes that IF SOMEONE THEY LIKE DESIRES ANOTHER SOMEONE, THAT OTHER SOMEONE HAS NO RIGHT OF REFUSAL. Therefore, due to the HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT, I will be leaving, and contacting an attorney about a lawsuit, to protect myself AND OTHERS." They will probably try to bleep you out, or "have sudden technical difficulties," but at least the people there will hear about LAWYER TIME, and maybe, they'll watch themselves in the future. Document EVERYTHING, and get thee to a lawyer! This isn't about getting a big payday. This is about protecting yourself from retribution AND protecting anyone else they try to do this sort of stuff to, in the future. ALL of these people NEED to learn THE LAW about how to treat other people, and people's RIGHT TO SAY NO. I'm so angry about this. It's bad enough when one person feels entitled to another human being, but the fact that the entire crew is on the "PRO-SLAVERY" side of things here, really makes my blood boil. Because let's face it, denying a person's right to say "no" to a relationship they don't want, or even are not yet ready for, but might be in the future, is akin to slavery! They feel OWNERSHIP of another human being, and are all butt-hurt that said human being EXERCISED THEIR OWN HUMAN RIGHTS.
Those guys who couldn't solve a kid's riddle would have hated me...a friend of mine was DMing and asked for an idea for a puzzle to add to her game, so I offered her for her consideration a puzzle infamous among the Silent Hill community involving poems about birds that requires you to have both context about a random stalker background character from the game and random knowledge about a particular species of bird to even be able to begin to solve it. I only suggested it as a joke because I remembered how frustrating it was to try to solve it for the first time when I played that game on hard difficulty, and apparently she actually used it. They all had words for me afterwards.
On the topic of the girl who weaponized tears, I would’ve kinda assumed the girl just wanted to create some conflict at first to make the story more interesting until she tried acting like everyone was ganging up on her.
I do find it interesting how many people in the comments are siding *with* the male OP who accepts that he has issues and shouts at people, but are entirely convinced that the Paladin is *just* being manipulative by going outside and crying. I'm sure from the perspective of the people playing with the male OP, he also has main character syndrome and steps on other people's big moments. I can't say whether or not Paladin is being manipulative, since we don't see inside her head. But the contrast between how people treat the two is more than a little weird. Almost seems to that it boils down to the classic "person expressing emotions in feminine" way = manipulation / "person expressing emotions in masculine way" = emotional regulation issues. Don't get me wrong, both these people need to sort their shit out (including explaining their issues to a group before they start playing). But speaking as an autistic woman who had to deal with growing up largely with the bursting into tears and being unable to even put my emotions into words form of emotional dysregulation, rather than the autistic boy who gets violent and shouty form, these comments kinda sting.
Others have said it in this thread, but OP of the "That Guy" story sounds like they may have undiagnosed autism. Of course I'm no expert and I don't know them, just going off my own experience of being on the spectrum.
And now the loud annoying guy knows why they were so strapped for players that they invited him. But yeah, he should give the new group a try. Just don't step on people, don't yell, show the people at the group respect.
....okay, I'm gunna say it. I don't think starting a 10 year old off the VtM anything is a good idea because of... oh I don't know... the really dark and mature themes of the game?! Plus it's mostly not combat oriented. Don't get me wrong, there are some mature 10 year olds, but compound that with having them play with 20 year olds is... gross.
Some of these stories make me think that teenagers shouldn't be allowed to play. But it's probably easier to think about it as the teens being the time in your life when it's most okay to eff up socially. Everyone is a schmuck and the relationships that crash and burn mostly would have been gone in a few years anyway. It's the training wheel time of your life.
The last one. Ngl if I was her I would've been a drama queen and told him off and said "if you weren't avoiding us I would've dated you" But I'm also toxic and need to work on not being that way lol
I don't remember who it was who said it but the "everyone asked me out" story reminded me of something. Whoever she was, I remember she was speculating about guys becoming infatuated with fictional characters and her conclusion was that most straight guys aren't socialized to recognize a non romantic fondness for a woman. By whatever combination of influencing factors they become convinced that they like a girl romantically if they feel happy around them at all, and since they might have trouble recognizing friendly responses the same from said women as they would their guy friends... Basically it seems like the wires get crossed and make things uncomfortable. I'm not a psychologist and I'm pretty sure she wasn't either. But I thought it was interesting to think about. Not saying this to excuse the DM's behavior but do think it's worth considering that maybe a dude with a (kinda?) Niche hobby would interact oddly with someone who shares that interest and seems like a potential romantic partner.
Okay, lot of thoughts for "I was that guy". First, yeah the temper control and yelling is an issue. He were young and worked on that, so I'm not going to fault him for that. Second, having a completely homebrew world and not having a session 0 feels like a foolish move at best. I get wanting to jump into it, but people NEED to know the rules of the world they're playing in. Also, if they only wanted the kid to be solving the riddles, then they should have SAID that to OP privately. I'm not going to lie, if I had to repeatedly sit there for 15-25+ minutes when I knew the answer after 5, I'd check out entirely, and probably leave the game. It wouldn't be for me. For the last one, be honest in session 0 about your nerves playing that character and why. It should help if they know you're not trying to be a pain or play a character who is a pain. What some people find insufferable in a character, other people adore. So it's going to depend a bit on the group.
My apologies for asking, but does anyone here have experience with submitting stories? I was considering sharing one of my own, but I'm uncertain if I'm meant to write it within the email or if the email is meant to contain a link to something such as a Reddit post-
Love Confession Story Yeeeeaaaaah, being asked out all of the sudden by multiple dudes in a group really sucks. And DM really sucked and I am glad the group supported OP and not NiceGuy Dm.
Reminder: If you're in a professional work environment and there's some romantic drama going on and you feel the need to comment on how a rejection was given, don't. It's literally none of your business. You're not all friends and this isn't high school dating gossip. You're at work, act like it.
Critical Role is a poor example for IRL relationships vs working together. 4 of them are married to each other. One is there because they were literally the DM's girlfriend and the other couple met while working together elsewhere. And then there was the issue with Ashley and Brian...
![Astarion slowly falls in love through greetings | Baldur's Gate 3 [Cinematic GMV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Q6vIlj2yQsM/mqdefault.jpg)
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I hope you guys like the new background! I love the aesthetic of Destiny's Savathun and her Throne World and decided to bring some alien vibes to the tavern. We won't have another Destiny themed one for a while... I promise.
The group with the 10-year-old kid seemed to have the rule that ONLY HE could solve the puzzles, so if you wait 25 minutes, before FINALLY asking, "May I have a try at it," and then solving it, you're WRONG, because you're spoiling the fun for the STAR OF THE SHOW, the ten-year-old kid.
Yeah, if you jump right in, and solve all the puzzles, that's annoying. But if he's actually waiting twenty-five whole minutes, before asking for a turn, and then they get pissed, because he succeeded, then it's not JUST OP being a "That Guy." It's the whole group having issues.
First of all, they did NOT communicate. Secondly, 25 MINUTES? And they think he's jumping the gun by asking for his turn? It's perfectly reasonable for EVERYONE to have a turn, in a timely manner, and if one of them succeeds, that is FINE. Especially if the PC is smart, and has every reason to succeed. I mean, would you expect Percy De Rollo to sit back for an hour, and let a child handle an issue that he could solve in a snap? Maybe, sometimes, if it was his own child, and there were no ticking clocks anywhere. But EVERY TIME?! Absolutely not.
OP may not have been the best player, but the group does not get off scott-free, either.
If it's a matter of behavior that should be changed, and can be changed, then a conversation needs to happen, SPECIFYING what is wrong, and what needs to change, and what that change needs to actually be. Instead, they ghosted him, and left him wondering what he did wrong, and how, and why. Ghosting is RUDE, and in this case, it also doesn't solve the problem. Nobody else, unless they simply intuitively fit in 100%, is going to be able to continue with them. And OP cannot improve as a player, without actual feedback. And meanwhile, it's taken him years to even try again, and he is afraid he'll be ghosted again. That's not right.
Cut and run is for the DM who thinks it's OK to R@[3 PC's and instantly impregnate them with the antichrist. Not for, "You're annoying, because you don't let the baby win everything, every time, and actually expect to have a turn after half an hour. Booo!"
Yeah, I'm on OP's side here, provisionally. 1) He learned about the yelling, and he improved on that. He TRIED to pull back. He waited twenty-five minutes for his turn. Yeah, he really made progress, and he was still punished for not being ENOUGH, without any communication about what ENOUGH would be.
I hope that the third time is the charm, and this great DM is communicative, and really knows how to run a game AND the people at the table.
In the "I was that guy" story, what was more concerning is that NO ONE bothered trying to talk to him about anything. They completely ghosted him and never really gave him a chance to work on changing what they viewed as problem behavior.
It sounds like their behaviors were identified during the sessions as they arose, and they admitted themselves that while Everyone was aware of the issues, OP did not always change their problematic behaviors enough or at all. They were given multiple chances, too. I don't really know what else you think they should have been entitled to
@@Calebgoblinit seems that they _werent_ told that they were doing this stuff though. A bunch of people seeing the behaviors and mentally "giving them another chance" without even telling them "hey, you're doing this, please stop" isn't actually giving them another chance. I know this shit because I've BEEN this person, who no one would tell me why they were getting angry at me, or never saying why they ghosted me, hell I JUST had someone, after ghosting me for almost 2 years (when prior they and I had created very in-depth stories and characters together), that they'd be taking their characters back, removing my stuff from all of their stories, and basically backhandedly told me "thanks for the good and bad times, they won't be remembered".
This doesn't help someone change. This doesn't help someone through their problems. Especially if the guy is autistic/Neurodivergent like the story comes across as, folks like us don't just _know_ this stuff. We think we're doing good because NO ONE SAYS OTHERWISE. We think it's just how social interaction works. We think it's just the default for existing. Treating someone in this manner doesn't help anything, in fact it actually causes TRUST ISSUES and causes people to become more bitter and less willing to hear people out. Literally, speaking from experience.
They're not entitled. They just wanna actually know when something is wrong, and not be left in the fucking dust without warning.
@@Calebgoblin They could have TOLD them to their FACE that they weren't a part of the game anymore instead of just not talking to them because their too immature to properly handle conflict. And given that he asked MULTIPLE TIMES why they were kicking him, they clearly DIDN'T tell them what was wrong! I'm guessing they just figured some stuff out afterwards with the benefit of hindsight! If you have a problem player, give direct and CLEAR communication to them about what they are doing wrong and how they need to change! It's not that hard, but so many adults would rather act like high schoolers and just stop talking to them. It's rude as hell!!! Plus, as the other comment says, people who are neurodivergent don't know something is wrong unless SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING!!! Backhanded comments and dirty looks are not the same as just saying what is wrong! And it also really fucks you up when people who you thought were your friends just stop talking to you! It makes you analyze everything you do and makes you super nervous in social situations from then on! Try and have some sympathy for people that don't pick up on social cues and listen look back at the story and realize that he wouldn't be bugging the new player about why he was kicked from the group if they had clearly stated what was wrong!
JESUS yeah. His first story is damn near triggering. He's still friends with them, but they don't say a word to him about the game, just silently kick him out of it and carry on discussing it in front of him? What really hurts to hear is how he acts like it's entirely his fault, when he clearly messed up, but they handled it in the cruelest possible way - and he still calls them friends.
“On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a natural 20”-that’s a hilarious line
Credit to Ginny Di
Note to self: NEVER USE
@@ninjabluefyre3815use it just on someone who’s single
@@ninjabluefyre3815NO THAT LINE IS SO GOOD
Imagine if the OP stuck around for the campaign instead of getting kicked.
DM: "WHY ARE YOU ROLLING ADVANTAGE!? I DIDN'T SEE YOU MOVE INTO FLANKING!"
OP: "Um...I'm a barbarian and I said I was using reckless attack..."
DM: "BEING HOSTILE, ARE WE!? THAT'S ANOTHER 300 XP DOCKED!!!"
Oh my god. That was a cut skit from this video. Like almost word for word.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU WICKED FIEND!
Yeah that GM strikes me as a person of only two modes: “I’m right” and “I’m mad that you’re right.”
@@CrispysTavern Yeah, you need to keep the door to your clone storage locked. We tend to get out more often than you think
@@alphons1456o The dark secrets have been revealed!
*_SCRAM!_*
What I don’t understand is why the friend of apparently 10 years could not come to the “that guy” and explain the problems they were having and try to work through them? He might have some issues with emotional regulation but they also have issues with communication and confrontation. That party was not perfectly innocent in this situation either.
“On a scale from 1-10 you’re a natural 20” I actually really like that it’s just the right amount of cheesy lol I’m really glad that DM matured and gave OP a real apology
What I'm wondering is if with the "that guy" story if he is forgetting/not acknowledging when they did try to talk to him about the problems. I've seen it before, where someone (may or may not be on the spectrum as well) with a "strong" personality ends up acting out within a group, the group tries to gently talk to them about it, and the "that guy" ends up either blowing it off, misunderstanding what they were trying to say, or forgetting what was discussed and just keeps repeating the same behavior.
Its been 10 years with repeated attempts at him getting into games with variety of different people, and the same exact issue comes up...usually that is more indicative of the common person.
That could also be why the friend doesn't really want to get into it with them because they may have actually tried to talk to them about their behaviour, gotten blow back from it, and decided that pushing against them isn't worth it and its easier to just let them do what they want. Unfortunately I've been on both sides of this equation, and it sucks a LOT to both be the person isolated due to miscommunication or where it didn't sink in...and the friend who has to just sit back and silently watch your friend make awful decisions because you know nothing you say will do anything to change things.
The one thing that was running through my head for the OP of the "That Guy" story was: it sounds like he might be on the spectrum. As someone who was diagnosed with autism, my trouble has always been emotional regulation and expressing it constructively. I realize that not everything can be explained with autism, but it felt like something that I would have done.
Tbh, it's a quite possible. I had same problems so... Yeah.
His group also has 2 ply toilet paper skin if they think his mannerisms are a problem
I recognized it too, as I've behaved the same way as well for the same reason, so I empathize.
Yeah, was thinking the same thing.
I get frustrated when people don't see the obvious answer to a puzzle too
The 'That Guy's story: that second experience doesn't sound like it was just his issue tbh. 15-20 minutes of waiting before asking to solve a puzzle/answering if ppl ask u directly sounds reasonable. Also there's just going to be issues when you bring a child to your group of 20yo players that even more socially nuanced players will struggle with. That legit sounds like an issue on both sides.
all I have to say to the first one is "you keep using that word, hostile. I don't think it means what you think it does."
Oh my GOD the story where the girl keeps getting asked out is so relatable. It’s such a sinking feeling realizing the people who you thought were your friends were actually just trying to get with you.
It sounds like a good problem to have on the surface but it really hurts because if you deny them, it seems like you almost always lose that friend.
I don’t want a romantic relationship, I want friends I can rely on and I’m clear about that from the beginning. But for whatever reason, it keeps happening where friends ask me out and when I say no they don’t want to be around me anymore. It’s very isolating, so I feel for her being in that awkward situation.
Especially when they're disgusting like the DM, who thought he had dibs on her because he met her first. The sad thing is, if he had asked her first, she probably would have dated him.
And then, the way they make it seem like your friendship is a "consolation prize," and not good enough! FRIENDSHIP ROCKS! And true friendship tends to last longer than most romances. You have to keep trying romance after romance until you find the RIGHT one for you, that actually lasts a lifetime. There is a lot of trial and error. And yet, many, if not most, people have several friendships that last decades, because it's a whole different ballgame.
and they dont want another friend. thats their right just the same as you not wanting a romantic partner is yours. most adults have all the friends they are ever going to have, thats just a fact of life.
@@DellikkilleD If you're inviting people to play DnD with you, and aren't looking for friends, but instead a romantic partner, you're doing it wrong.
@@AzureKyle lmfao, No kid. Just no.
One of the important things you need to do when kicking somebody from the party is to inform them that they are not welcome and that they have been kicked. Silently uninviting them and going behind their back because of issues they have shows that the group themselves who are okay with this have their own different issues. And if the GM does so, lying about the player leaving to the rest of the group without informing them of what happened, that's a red flag on the GM's side as well.
Just because a problem player is being rightfully kicked, doesn't mean they are the only problem in the group. Be clear, communicate.
I was in a d&d group in high school, back when I was still presenting male, and the one girl in the group asked me out. I was confused as to why and she said it was because I was the only one who didn't hit on her and I was kind. We didn't work out because honestly, that's not a good premise for dating, but we stayed friends and are still friends to this day. She's the one who taught me how to do my makeup after I started transitioning.
High school kids gonna high school kids.
Bless, I hope things are well ^^
From girlfriend to girlcoach
Gotta say, for you being ace that Natural 20 pickup line was pretty solid.
He got it from Ginny Di 🤣. I love it when I find out TH-camrs I like watch each other's stuff.
the "tears over nothing" story has me just defaulting into a "wait...weaponized tears?" defaulting to what type of person that player was.
"She would have been down, if he had not acted like such a clown." Come on, Crispy, it was RIGHT THERE.
The diffrence between weaponizing your emotions and just having emotions is how you want everyone else to react.
If you just need to get it out of your system you're just having emotions.
If you want a very specific outcome, 'op should go home' 'do my plan' 'they need to stop talking' and so on, you're weaponizing. Even if you think "oh but I really feel these emotions" you're still weaponizing them.
The healthy way to handle it is to handle your emotions first ('just give me a moment') then come back at a later time to discuss the situation that triggered it. This applies to the dude that had poor emotional regulation earlier in the story too. Your emotions are YOURS to handle, it's not on everyone else around you. Learn to regulate your emotions so you don't act out, which generally means just shutting up for a bit.
When anime love triangles destroy the group is basically the fleeting story . I love the bit of “have u heard of the story of dark Dm the unwise “
I would have just left the instant the DM was showing themselves to be hostile. One red flag is one too many in that situation.
Yeah. I don't fault people that try to give benefit of doubt. Myself though I'm hella prickly about red flags. I bailed on one campaign after the interview when the DM and a existing player made a suggestive 'dommy mommy' joke after I describe my character as "She doesn't get real wound up either direction. She has the vibe of a tired mum that's not really going to intercede unless their kid is about to burn the house down or severely hurt themselves." If it's my friends and I screwing around that's one thing, coming from two random dudes a bit older than my irl sons... yeah nope nope nope right out the door.
@@maeve615 I get what you're saying.
If know the people messing around it is one thing, it quite another when comes from strangers though.
Watching Ace as Heck Crispy in the "Endless Flirting" skit was hilarious 😂
I am here to say that the phrase "she fell in love way too fast" sounds like a lyric from a sappy song for teenagers
It's reminding me very strongly of "you gave your heart up too fast" by the spin doctors
About the Tears Over Nothing story I had a similar but diet soda experience of someone trying to impose on “my characters moment”. In the village my paladin is from I was talking to a NPC that my character had learned aged like 60 years from when he last was there, due to memory loss magic etc my paladin was not aware it had been that long. During this realization and pretty dramatic moment the rogue just started narrating his character tryna find a shop. The DM had to tell him to stop because we were in the middle of something and it was just an awkward buzzkill for the session. When the inverse happened to this player he would get audibly agitated or ask you to stop interrupting him over table. So that was lame.
Oh yeah, Paladin in Tears Over Nothing was absolutely weaponising her tantrum there. Slamming the door so everyone could hear her, staying right on the front doorstep so no one would miss her, those are way too performative to not be deliberate attempts at manipulation
I have had (and have witnessed) tantrums like this and can tell you that no, there are in fact people in life that are just that childish and immature. Horrible behavior, not necessarily deliberate, you can better yourself out of it if you want to put the effort.
@@Heriarka Just because there are some cases where people are that immature to act like that, doesn't mean it wasn't planned in this case. Paladin with her Mary Sue main character definitely sounds like the type of person that would weaponize crying and manipulate things in order to get her way, and this definitely has the feel of something that was planned. If someone was just having a tantrum, there would be signs beforehand, not her acting calm and like nothing was wrong until break time, and then suddenly slamming the door to draw attention to herself, and making herself unmissable crying and then throwing all the blame on OP.
Yeah. In my experience, when people just are TRULY overwhelmed, and need to cry, they tend to go somewhere ALONE and QUIET, so they will NOT be disturbed, while they process and get ahold of themselves. And they use that time, not just to release, but to THINK, and often come back out with a more nuanced and balanced perspective, such as "What you did sucked. However, I see that I could have avoided it, entirely, had I done X, instead. That does NOT excuse what you did, yet it means that the entire situation is not 100% on your shoulders, and I have learned a lesson to avoid such incidents in the future." Such as, "He was a complete and total creeper and did inexcusable things, yet I now see that I missed a parade of red flags. Should I ever see those red flags in a future relationship, I will LEAVE before it gets to the point of inexcusable things. I'm not to blame for his actions. I was just naive to not see or see and ignore the red flags."
Naive is NOT AT FAULT. Naive IS, however, a danger to self and others, and wisdom is a GOOD THING. No victim-blaming, just self-improvement.
@@AuntLoopy123 so because you handle things poorly, everyone else must handle things poorly too? No.
I think "I was a that guy" should share that post with this new party. He's been very measured in how he's approach the mistakes he feels he's made in the past. He's clarified that he has grown over years, tried to be better, tried to be aware of mistakes he might be making in the moment. This seems like someone who would be willing to learn if the people who were leaving him told him WHY they were leaving. And while it *might* be his fault that people didn't want to play with him, it is *not* his fault that they chose to ghost without giving him constructive criticism. And that isn't fair to him. If he raised his history and his concerns directly with this group, it sounds like they would be open to listening. The second group didn't sound like a good idea - including a literal child and then expecting everybody to be totally capable of pulling back their own intelligence? That's a bad time. I think the only thing he was a "that guy" about at all is that he raged when abandoned. Which while shitty, is kind of understandable, especially when it's happened to him more than once. And especially, when he recognizes he was in the wrong for getting heated. He seems like a totally alright guy who's judging himself way too much. I hope he sees this, and I wish him luck!
Honestly I came out of it feeling so bad for him that he was so discouraged with TTRPG's and was questioning whether he made a "good character". Yes "That Guy" players are a problem. But no communication within a group is also a problem. They certainly lose the high ground by not even telling them they had been kicked out of the party.
I love your skit about riddles for kids! XD My group is NOTORIOUSLY BAD at solving riddles, and we've spent hours on what is essentially a kindergarten-level puzzle 😅 What's kind of funny is that we also do the opposite--solve puzzles we're not supposed to be able to solve. We found a cave that our DM later told us he meant for us to come back to later when we'd found a particular item to solve the puzzle. We figured out that in order to open a locked door, we needed to activate 8 floor tiles by standing on them (we only had 5 people). Our solution was to buff the hell out of our tabaxi monk, allowing her to move 680 feet per round. She moved fast enough to activate all 8 floor tiles and we got the door open! Fortunately, our DM was super amused--he just wanted to see what we would try for this intentionally "impossible" puzzle and found our solution hilarious.
But trying to put 3 gems in the right order to access an oracle? We almost got TPK'd by lightning after activating the lair's security. Good times.
That right there is a good GM. „This solution is absolutely ridiculous! … I love it.“
What kills about the story with Paladin is that her "No, I'm going to kill him on sight" and "No, let me talk to my dad first" could have been a *great* roleplay moment for Paladin. But... nope. Player couldn't handle her control issues being bucked and played the crocodile tears card.
Yeah. As long as she kept it all IN CHARACTER, it could have made for some delicious drama. Maybe Paladin steps up to try to kill him on sight, and the other PCs step in and say, "We DISCUSSED THIS. We give OP the chance to talk to him FIRST. Maybe he can be redeemed!"
And maybe the Paladin would break through, and try to kill the father, but at the same time, begin fighting with the rest of the party, and it's a three-way battle, with OP focusing on the father, and TRYING to have a conversation with him, through the battle. Then, when the paladin goes down, and is unconscious (or dead, and waiting for revivify), OP has her moment with her father. Then, the group has a chat about what to do with Paladin.
"I say we raise dead, but we take the cost of the diamond out of her own personal account."
Man, Crispy, that whole "Darth DM the Unwise" bit had me laughing my ass off!
With the "I was that guy" story. I feel like context is probably needed. Not to pry, but I genuinely wonder if that person is on the spectrum, because if so, they need to inform other groups if they are. It would probably work wonders for helping them keep patient with them as fellow players, and either way autistic or not, I suggest they ask at the end of each session if anyone felt like they were too much. I'd normally suggest only asking if they start sensing if others are off, but given their history of being unable to read the social room, I'd suggest just doing it every session and encourage them to be honest with their thoughts.
With the "that guy" story. If you are concerned about your behavior and genuinely want to grow as a person, communicate. People are way more forgiving and flexible with behavioral issues if you tell them up front. Im loud and talk too much. I try really hard not to spotlight hog, and to give others their time to shine. I think ive done this well as no one has ever expressed an upset to me, but they also know they can tell me to shut up at any moment and i will be fine with that.
Yeah I feel like nthe reason for the silent kicking was probably out of fear that the OP would blow up on them like they ended up doing to the second group after being excluded. Giving people a heads up beforehand might have made them feel more confident to try talking it out first.
That's the problem with hindsight. You don't realize it's a problem until it's too late. This is why everyone should be more open to communication, rather than just going for the extreme. As someone on the spectrum, I've been burned far too many times for things I didn't realize were bad until far later. In my case, I love dirty jokes, but sometimes go a bit too far without realizing it (social boundaries confuse me sometimes) and instead of just talking about it, people would report me to someone in charge and I'd get in trouble, with no way to explain myself or apologize. Of course, now that I know I'm on the spectrum (only discovering a couple years ago) I have a general idea of what to look out for, and I can give some people a heads up. But if you don't know it's a problem, you can't really talk about it first. This is where OP now has an advantage, because they realize the problem and they can give a warning, which they couldn't do the previous two times. At the same time, it also falls to the group to talk with OP about any issues as well, instead of just ghosting them.
@AzureKyle I'm also on the spectrum and honestly if you make a group so uncomfortable that they ghost you it's on you to learn to adjust that behavior. A simple "hey I'm neurodivergent so if I ever say or do anything out of line please tell me so I can apologize and adjust accordingly" is all you need. People don't owe others patience and second chances for bad behavior. If you expect people to bend to your bad behavior instead of improving that just makes you an asshole (note the you in this sentence is a general you to the wider public and not a personal attack)
@@katiecakesl4691 Well yeah, if you're doing it on purpose. But if you don't realize what you're doing, you can't really warn people. Also, some people take extreme reactions to something that others may see as harmless, so them ghosting OP may just be an extreme reaction to something that could have been talked about. This is what I was trying to get at. As I said, there were instances where I did something wrong and didn't realize it, and instead of talking to me about it, other people took the extreme and went to complain to someone else about it, getting me in trouble. This could be like that, in the sense they could have talked to OP about it, but chose instead to exclude them. Of course, now that OP realizes what's causing these people to ghost them, they can let their new group know about what's happened in the past, and what may happen now, so they're better prepared and know that they can just talk to OP if something goes wrong. Some people fear confrontation, especially if OP was prone to emotional outbursts and yelling, so tend to opt to leave instead of talking it out, but if OP talks to this new group first, they'll know they can talk to OP and sort things out if it happens.
"On a scale of 1 to 10, you are a Natural 20" Okay weirdly enough that's so corny it actually wraps back around to being sweet, depending on how it's delivered.
you gotta do the double finger guns
It’s so excessively nerdy it might just work.
I lost it at the Darth Dm the Unwise scene "Jesse what the fuck are you talking about" 😂
The story about the paladin stepping in on OP’s backstory is, woof. Not just her “breakdown” to weaponize tears. But the entire thing with basically wanting ti take over someone else’s backstory. Now, I will admit I stepped on some toes I think with a backstory once in the past (a character’s ex was trapped in a crystal and was believed to have murdered his master. So in hopes to get them to talk, I grabbed the crystal and swapped my soul with the Ex’s, letting the Ex borrow my body so they could talk things out). It’s not something I would do again without talking with other people Out if Character first. My current table, we’re delving into a handful of backstories. Mine has been a bit more, front and center, as most backstories will be covered in our second campaign. But mine? It’s in the city. We’ve touched on it a LOT, and will finish the main arc of it as a Jump Off Point for Campaign 2 (for reference, my character is the adoptive son of the Rosznar family of Waterdeep, in a Dragon Heist module that is getting a Homebrew sequel, instead of Dungeon of the Mad Mage). I enjoy having my backstory pop up. But I also, due to cases of possibly being a spotlight hog in previous games due to excitement, don’t want to take up a lot of game time dealing with my character’s backstory and taking away from the fun of others. Thankfully, my group loves the story and character enough to enjoy what we DO get. Which includes Divine Dreams from a lost god (I THINK Hoar), a VERY emotional conversation with my character’s father (which we all loved. And most of the party wants to commit Patricide as a result of), and the party seeing my character finally facing the deep seated trauma he’s left buried (he’s always been a joyous guy with a scaredy cat tendency, and the rare burst of anger, but with Backstory coming up, they’ve been there to see as he broke down sobbing, and even went near catatonic after one of then used Disguise Self to look like my father to break a charm).
If puzzles have you... well puzzled, try the Barbarian Solution! Works on most puzzles. And the method is simple (come on it's a barbarian afterall).
Step 1. Find Puzzle
Step 2. Shake Puzzle
Step 3. Smash Puzzle with 2 ton HAMMER OF DOOM!!!
If Puzzle is still not solved then,
Step 4. Find Puzzle Maker.
Step 5. Threaten Puzzle Maker.
If Puzzle is STILL not solved then,
Step 6. SHOVE Puzzle Maker into Puzzle!
Genius.
I was in a game where the DM put in the Master Mirror riddle from Witcher 3. I was the only person at the table who had played the game and gave everyone else about 10 minutes trying to work it out. Was a really fun part of the session
Ooohl, i love the plant ecstatic for the dnd table. It looks mystical and dangerous at the same time.
OMG I love that you used part of the Death Note score in one of your skits! I also feel for the OP of that second story. I'm in my forties and was only diagnosed with Autism and ADHD a couple of years ago. It explained why I'd been struggling for so much of my life to control my own emotions and understanding etiquette that people don't explain because it's obvious to everyone but me, etc... Getting diagnosed has helped my self esteem and helped me to understand myself, and all of this has helped me to get along so much better with other people. OP says they're doing better now, and I'm really happy for them.
Story 1 - NTA
It is important to respect boundaries and consent.
"I was a that guy" story...they didn't...they didn't talk to him after the game? Idk I think if these groups are so conflict avoidant that they can't give a FRIEND constructive criticism, I don't think that's a good group to be a part of. I'm someone who, in my excitement when I first started DnD, also got a bit too loud and jumped to react to everything at the start. I think OP deserved a little more grace then what they were given. When you aren't used to it, it can take a couple sessions to feel out the flow of the improv.
That LoFi rendition careless whisper during that girls experience with being asked out made that so much more funny, nice choice lmaoooo 😂
I was going to say nice stress ball figure, but then I realized it’s Fynch who should not be squished
That "That Guy" story reminds me of my first dnd group that ghosted me like that. I had no specific problems that was unique except for maybe the fact I wasn't well-versed in how DND works and I was hard of hearing. I say *maybe* because I was asking the DM for help and my other friends were new as me. Any possible problems I exhibited were because I copied behaviors or followed the plans of other players, I just did what other people wanted.
I lasted like 2 sessions, before I stopped receiving emails. It was an after-school game, so I don't know what his plan was because I visited the library the games were held in everyday. None of the other games had space, so I rejected the Librarians offer to get me back in the game because I didn't want to play with someone who didn't want me.
I concluded it was my hearing problem, but my sister was adamant it was about race. I'm not sure about her claim, she's crazy but I am naïve so 🤷
Very sincerely, as someone who deals with many different groups and problem players, I really do not think you've identified your problem, and are more likely than not a "that guy". About 90% That Guys do not think they had a real problem, and you're already exhibiting very telltale signs of it, as even in this comment where you're claiming to not have had any POSSIBLE problem behaviours, you're already casting blame on it being just "copying other players" and other such petty language.
I'm really not trying to say youre a bad person or that this matters to anyone but you. Most problem players I know are lovely out of game, it's the game that brings it out. Whether they take it too seriously, inadvertantly make others feel like their ideas are bad, are passive aggressive, emotional, complain too much or try to DM as a player or any of a thousand common but not acceptable behaviours.
It is inconsequentual to me, but if TTRPGs are something you want to get into, this is an important flag for you to take into account and really make 1000% sure you are not the problem. Ask them if you can. Your response to their answer will also be very telling. Think of it as a learning experience. Best of luck to you, hopefully you get to play again some day! Maybe you'll find whatever the problem in your first game was you've already overcome!
been recently enjoying your videos. really digging the chill, friendly atmosphere! guess i got a new d&d horror story content creator to come back to regularly.
there is nothing wrong with bringing your kind to a dnd game. hell when i finally have kids as soon as i think they're ready im gonna bring them to a dnd game. Its honestly different from case to case, kids act differently, and if the 10 year old was being disruptive i can understand the view point, i suppose the dm could of given people a heads up about him bringing his kid too.
It wasn't that they brought their kid. They had it play with them, despite all being in their 20s.
@@bittercharmer1591 and once again that's not a guarantee problem, it depends on the kid.
Worse in the workplace
Really like the channel Crispy! Your stories helps with learning the ins and outs of Ttrpg and gives me lots of confidence for being a player. Keep up the good work!
Lmao bro that Palpatine bit was great
0:51 OMG OMG OMG OMG Someone else that uses the Yklwa!!! Sorry, just a little geeked since most times if I mention it people go "Your character uses a Yucky???" -_-
Hi maeve , you are not a lone ,I used it in my Tomb of Annihilation game after my character's starter spear got lost due to nonsense .
"On a scale from 1 to 10, you are a natural 20!" DAAAAM! For an ace you have really smoot talk! XD
Awesome video! Loved the narration and your skits are GOLD!!
Glad you like them!
Dude your skits are the best. I absolutely love them
'Crispy loves Owl House'
Incredibly Based
Based?
Based on what?
@@LeRodzit's just a term to say he's cool.
I love all the little Destiny 2 things you include in your videos, lol
As a woman who spends most of her time in male- dominated hobbies, I have been in a situation like the OP in "Endless Flirting."
I was part of a tabletop gaming group that met once a week, and it was all men except myself (single at the time coming off a divorce) and another girl who was dating someone in the group.
Now, I met my husband within this group, and we have been together for 10 years now.
Two of them aside from my husband had made plans to ask me out. One of them did, and I let him know that I wasn't interested in seeing anyone so soon after my divorce.
The other guy never asked me out directly, but during a night where he joined my friends and I for a drunk night, he was apparently stopped from feeding me drinks, and my friends distanced him from me afterwards.
Years later, my husband revealed to me that the two of them told him that they were "going to get with" me. He told them they had no chance lol. 10 years later, yeah he was right.
"The other guy never asked me out directly, but during a night where he joined my friends and I for a drunk night, he was apparently stopped from feeding me drinks, and my friends distanced him from me afterwards."
Sweet criminy, what kind of creep were you playing with? Glenn Quagmire?
I love your Witch Queen set up
NTA for sure. First of all, the fact that this is a professional environment actually gives them grounds to tell them off for doing this and letting it spill over into the rest of the workplace. Sure, this is a game that the op signed up for just to have fun but since it was then being produced this means it’s professional at this point and that has different laws, including ones about such things. Heck, there may even be other regulations regarding it. Anyway, basically if anyone says they are the you-know, then they need a firm reminder that in any other company, such a thing could go over far worse. The only leniency here is that the op seems to want to let it lie and just have fun and that this isn’t a full blown company, even if they signed up for a more professional approach to the game by signing those contracts. Anyway, yeah. I don’t know, makes me upset that it seems that this person has little protection here though is certainly valid and in the right to turn down the other person.
About puzzles being too easy or solving them too fast. I love puzzles in games, and I have a reputation for solving them quickly and being too thorough with exploration. I was excited to try the other way around, so I came up with a very small adventure focused on exploration and puzzles. I made a few hand-drawn maps, a few puzzles and a fun (I hope) premise for this short scenario, then introduced my D&D pals to this idea. And they rejected it straight away!
Knowing how I like too be very serious about this kind of stuff and about the rules, DM and another guy says: "no, sorry, knowing you, I will not be able to deal with this sort of game and you DMing it". I don't know whether I should drop the idea entirely or come up with something more light-hearted. Yet, I'm really disappointed that guys think of me this way.
Thumbs up for the surprise cameo from one of the adult voices from the Charlie Brown cartoons!
Now to go watch the music video for "High School Never Ends".
Again.
First Story: Jeez, the fact that OP rejecting Amy is causing tension outside of the game is kind of nuts. So OP should've just gone out with Amy to make everyone else feel better? What if it didn't work out? What if OP is right, and Amy is just "in love" with the roleplayer and not the person? If they go on a date or two and it doesn't work out, wouldn't that cause more tension than OP simply turning Amy down? Kind of a wild situation there, but no, OP is not the asshole. OP shouldn't have to put aside their own comfort for the sake of someone else's attraction.
I mean I don’t think “it was too fast” and she might have genuinely fell in love, it’s possible that’s just how that girl falls in love, however at the same time op isn’t required to accept the confession (though I think denying it for just not liking her that way would have been better then saying she can’t be in love with her as it’s too quick which will definitely hurt feelings) the other members saying she was too harsh seems like a problem where some members know one member more then the other and therefore want to defend their friend,
Another problem is pretending to have a crush in game while having one out of game, cause now she has to keep pretending about her crush in game while feeling rejected out of game
That 4th story? I’m sorry but I would have CHEWED HER OUT. Im so sick of this mindset of women seeing other women as their “enemy”. This whole “pick me” mindset needs to die.
First the community references. And now mythic quest!!! I love it
I just realized you also have a Doctor Plague plushie, I love the little guy.
I suspect the crying paladin was just an attention junky. It would explain a lot.
Re: kid at the d&d table: can't hate it. I've been in the TTRPG space since I was 5 and just rolling dice for my parents because I was in that situation.
That Star Wars skit absolutely sent me.
23:34
this face, this face gives me life xD
Just _"Wh-hy?"_
"Crispy likes Destiny and The Owl House!"
Respect +100
Love me some owl house. Love seeing it get appreciated
""Jessie wtf are you talking about" 😂 best part of the video
For the “I was that guy” story, some advice I’d give:
You can play a character that’s a “handful”, but keep in mind that anyone who doesn’t know you personally will think that’s who you really are (because they haven’t met the “real” you).
Also, try and find everyone’s comfort level to shenanigans. Is this a light-hearted story full of funny jokes and a lack of consequences, or is this a realistic or darker setting where every action has a heavy consequence. Some people gather to experience new situations and funny hijinks. Others treat their characters as an extension of themselves.
An example of silliness would be some clips from “tales from the stinky dragon” (a podcast but TH-cam has cute animated shorts on many scenes that paint the picture perfectly). A serious one might be more like Critical Role? I’m not sure, there are probably more serious ones out there.
If you don’t know the people, I’d say try to jn-character reference past hijinks or introduce your character in the middle of one (enough to set a tone & first impression) but overall being a bit subdued outside of that until you get a better sense of everyone’s boundaries.
[Our rogue introduced himself as a loose canon entertainer who juggled flasks of bottled lightning to entertain crowds, etc. but during play he rarely did anything that reckless. Honestly, outside of that introduction, he was a pretty chill dude. BUT, we still treated him like a loose canon because of how strong of a first impression it was. He was still able to be the “wild card” of the group without doing too much that can annoy real players that also happen to be strangers to him]
I already mentioned it, but I’d put extra emphasis on trying to pick up on (or outright ask) about player expectations and intentions and how it may not be the same as what the character portrays. For example, I’m a pretty chaotic, go-with-the-flow type person. My first character was one that reflected that. My second was a more serious overly-practical guardian character that had no time for wacky stuff. They’d complain, but I, the player, loved all the chaos the others did and liked playing off of it as the straight-man to the party.
Our ranger is supposed to be a trickster, but the player inside is a rather serious person.
I’m sharing all this stuff about my own party for a reason.
We have a rogue with a reputation of being rash, but didn’t do it too often in the party. Our ranger is a rather serious player, and I love hijinks of any kind.
Our rogue recently did a wild move that may very well change the course of the narrative, or at least shift the alliances in the campaign. I personally felt like crazy change like that was in-character, and an interesting twist on the story so far. Our ranger did their very best to hide it, but I could tell from their questions and tone that they HATED IT. They were reacting like our rogue player decided to rip apart the whole D&D campaign on a whim. There is still lingering resentment from the ranger player but I still thought it was a fun addition.
In-character, my character was horrified, and ranger thought it was dumb as hell (although I felt like it would’ve made sense if they also agreed based on what I know of their backstory, but I could be wrong).
Our ranger player clearly had strong boundaries or expectations that got broken there. Our DM seems to feel unsure whether they were neutral or disliked the rogue’s choice.
I rambled for a fair bit, but I can’t stress enough the importance of getting a good grasp of everyone’s expectations and boundaries. Try to be relatively harmless until you fully understand player comfort levels. Especially if you’re strangers/acquaintances
DM in the first story: What is this?? Explain yourself!
Player: (Explains)
DM: How dare you explain yourself?! Banned!
I love storytime with Grandpa Sheeve.
So my first ever campaign DMing just finished session 6 yesterday, and the players (team of 6) are loving it. They just rescued a Pied-Piper style girl from a rat infested barn after her flute lost its magical powers and then turned on her.
But there was one legitimate horror story... firstly, my wife not really understanding what D&D actually was, and thought I was going mad doing random voices at my computer. And then secondly, my ISP taking an absolute dump on the third session, which meant 30% packet loss. It became basically a charades episode, which wouldn't have been too bad if not that...
A scout took pot-shots at our lvl1 group. The first shot was an almost max-roll crit that instantly downed the rogue. The second was a max-roll non crit that downed the bard. ...and then the bard got a nat 1 on a death saving throw and perished... which felt particularly awful because i couldn't even articulate properly what was happening via voice due to the packet loss.
We cut the session an hour early, I half-retconned (only this once), and we are now getting back on with it... and they are loving it.
...as a reminder, though, the bard has the "Death" tarot card magically appear in her pack to remind her of the occasion...
"I'm flattered, but I don't know you very well, so I'm not currently interested in getting romantic with you."
Literally everyone in the group and entire production company: "How DARE you refuse her? Don't you know that if a person desires you, THEY ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR LOVE, ROMANCE, AND SEX?!"
"Um, no. No, I don't think that's actually the case."
"YOU'RE TOO HARSH! WE HATE YOU!"
Time to dip out, OP. Time to leave the entire group behind. BUT, if this is livestreamed, I highly recommend making a brief statement ONLINE. "Recently, I was asked on a date, in real life, by one of the other players, and because I said I didn't know that person very well, yet, having only met four months prior, that I was not currently ready or interested in beginning an actual romantic relationship with that person, THE ENTIRE CAST AND CREW HAVE TURNED AGAINST ME, because APPARENTLY NOBODY HERE BELIEVES IN BODILY AUTONOMY OR CONSENT, and believes that IF SOMEONE THEY LIKE DESIRES ANOTHER SOMEONE, THAT OTHER SOMEONE HAS NO RIGHT OF REFUSAL. Therefore, due to the HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT, I will be leaving, and contacting an attorney about a lawsuit, to protect myself AND OTHERS."
They will probably try to bleep you out, or "have sudden technical difficulties," but at least the people there will hear about LAWYER TIME, and maybe, they'll watch themselves in the future.
Document EVERYTHING, and get thee to a lawyer! This isn't about getting a big payday. This is about protecting yourself from retribution AND protecting anyone else they try to do this sort of stuff to, in the future. ALL of these people NEED to learn THE LAW about how to treat other people, and people's RIGHT TO SAY NO.
I'm so angry about this. It's bad enough when one person feels entitled to another human being, but the fact that the entire crew is on the "PRO-SLAVERY" side of things here, really makes my blood boil. Because let's face it, denying a person's right to say "no" to a relationship they don't want, or even are not yet ready for, but might be in the future, is akin to slavery! They feel OWNERSHIP of another human being, and are all butt-hurt that said human being EXERCISED THEIR OWN HUMAN RIGHTS.
Shit now I wanna hear Crispy's story about his first problem player messaging him years later lol.
Me asking Darth Crispy: Is there such a way to learn this power?
‘That went better than my first problem player’ uh. DO TELL??
I wanted you to say, "She might have been down, if he hadn't acted like such a clown."
“Okay, I did the thing, are you happy?!”
Dude, the internet is literally NEVER happy, you should know this! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I've heard 5 year olds were DMs for D&D. That's just chaos. 🤣
Those guys who couldn't solve a kid's riddle would have hated me...a friend of mine was DMing and asked for an idea for a puzzle to add to her game, so I offered her for her consideration a puzzle infamous among the Silent Hill community involving poems about birds that requires you to have both context about a random stalker background character from the game and random knowledge about a particular species of bird to even be able to begin to solve it. I only suggested it as a joke because I remembered how frustrating it was to try to solve it for the first time when I played that game on hard difficulty, and apparently she actually used it. They all had words for me afterwards.
I mean, if EVERYONE asks you out you must be a lovely person.
On the topic of the girl who weaponized tears, I would’ve kinda assumed the girl just wanted to create some conflict at first to make the story more interesting until she tried acting like everyone was ganging up on her.
I do find it interesting how many people in the comments are siding *with* the male OP who accepts that he has issues and shouts at people, but are entirely convinced that the Paladin is *just* being manipulative by going outside and crying.
I'm sure from the perspective of the people playing with the male OP, he also has main character syndrome and steps on other people's big moments.
I can't say whether or not Paladin is being manipulative, since we don't see inside her head. But the contrast between how people treat the two is more than a little weird.
Almost seems to that it boils down to the classic "person expressing emotions in feminine" way = manipulation / "person expressing emotions in masculine way" = emotional regulation issues.
Don't get me wrong, both these people need to sort their shit out (including explaining their issues to a group before they start playing). But speaking as an autistic woman who had to deal with growing up largely with the bursting into tears and being unable to even put my emotions into words form of emotional dysregulation, rather than the autistic boy who gets violent and shouty form, these comments kinda sting.
Meanwhile I'm still trying to figure out what that bone-eye thing is in the background shots.
Others have said it in this thread, but OP of the "That Guy" story sounds like they may have undiagnosed autism. Of course I'm no expert and I don't know them, just going off my own experience of being on the spectrum.
And now the loud annoying guy knows why they were so strapped for players that they invited him.
But yeah, he should give the new group a try. Just don't step on people, don't yell, show the people at the group respect.
Sponsored segment ends 6:42
yklwa thats the small affrican spear thing I think
....okay, I'm gunna say it. I don't think starting a 10 year old off the VtM anything is a good idea because of... oh I don't know... the really dark and mature themes of the game?! Plus it's mostly not combat oriented. Don't get me wrong, there are some mature 10 year olds, but compound that with having them play with 20 year olds is... gross.
Nice fynch statue
Some of these stories make me think that teenagers shouldn't be allowed to play.
But it's probably easier to think about it as the teens being the time in your life when it's most okay to eff up socially. Everyone is a schmuck and the relationships that crash and burn mostly would have been gone in a few years anyway. It's the training wheel time of your life.
The last one. Ngl if I was her I would've been a drama queen and told him off and said "if you weren't avoiding us I would've dated you"
But I'm also toxic and need to work on not being that way lol
I don't remember who it was who said it but the "everyone asked me out" story reminded me of something. Whoever she was, I remember she was speculating about guys becoming infatuated with fictional characters and her conclusion was that most straight guys aren't socialized to recognize a non romantic fondness for a woman. By whatever combination of influencing factors they become convinced that they like a girl romantically if they feel happy around them at all, and since they might have trouble recognizing friendly responses the same from said women as they would their guy friends... Basically it seems like the wires get crossed and make things uncomfortable. I'm not a psychologist and I'm pretty sure she wasn't either. But I thought it was interesting to think about.
Not saying this to excuse the DM's behavior but do think it's worth considering that maybe a dude with a (kinda?) Niche hobby would interact oddly with someone who shares that interest and seems like a potential romantic partner.
Savathûn the Witch Queen, my beloved.
Okay, lot of thoughts for "I was that guy".
First, yeah the temper control and yelling is an issue. He were young and worked on that, so I'm not going to fault him for that.
Second, having a completely homebrew world and not having a session 0 feels like a foolish move at best. I get wanting to jump into it, but people NEED to know the rules of the world they're playing in. Also, if they only wanted the kid to be solving the riddles, then they should have SAID that to OP privately. I'm not going to lie, if I had to repeatedly sit there for 15-25+ minutes when I knew the answer after 5, I'd check out entirely, and probably leave the game. It wouldn't be for me.
For the last one, be honest in session 0 about your nerves playing that character and why. It should help if they know you're not trying to be a pain or play a character who is a pain. What some people find insufferable in a character, other people adore. So it's going to depend a bit on the group.
My apologies for asking, but does anyone here have experience with submitting stories? I was considering sharing one of my own, but I'm uncertain if I'm meant to write it within the email or if the email is meant to contain a link to something such as a Reddit post-
I have a story I call “The Apocalypse Bomb” if you want to hear it
Love Confession Story
Yeeeeaaaaah, being asked out all of the sudden by multiple dudes in a group really sucks.
And DM really sucked and I am glad the group supported OP and not NiceGuy Dm.
I see you’re watching Mythic Quest
Reminder: If you're in a professional work environment and there's some romantic drama going on and you feel the need to comment on how a rejection was given, don't. It's literally none of your business. You're not all friends and this isn't high school dating gossip. You're at work, act like it.
Love the owl house mention
Critical Role is a poor example for IRL relationships vs working together.
4 of them are married to each other. One is there because they were literally the DM's girlfriend and the other couple met while working together elsewhere.
And then there was the issue with Ashley and Brian...
Hey, OP of story 5: wanna go out?