Best tracks from my channel on a SPOTIFY playlist: spoti.fi/4aH2Phn (Daily updated) ▶️ About my channel: My Channel is a non-monetized music channel on TH-cam, created and operated by one anonymous individual under the alias Navo159. My Goal is creating the ultimate escapism music library on TH-cam, for people that need to escape reality, even for a second. I also network with artists and labels, so that their music can be heard and supported. Every Artist name along with the track title is always in the description of every video. So, if you want to support the artists, go and support them on their respective streaming platforms as well. Furthermore, all of the tracks used in my youtube playlists are copyrighted music, so if you see ads in my videos, it's because youtube places them automatically based on copyright-owners needs, I have no control over it, so sorry about that. And lastly, thank you so much for being a part of a wonderful community. Never thought I would be able to help so many people. Let's escape this reality together, at least for a moment. I will never stop making these videos. I just love music, and love sharing it with others who love it too. 💛 Mental health helplines: helpguide.org/find-help.htm 🔎 Contact me, for anything: instagram.com/navowi159/ 💙 PATREON: www.patreon.com/navo159/membership ⭐ If you choose to donate on PATREON, the money will go towards buying new music for the channel so that everyone can benefit from your generosity. Donation is completely optional and I only made this Patreon so that those who feel the need to do so may have that ability. Thank you for your continued support, and most importantly, thank you for listening! 📝 Want your music featured on my playlists? Do you think it will help other people? Email me • navowi99@gmail.com 👀 Let me review your music: groover.co/band/signup/referral/influencer/16554/?.navo159&widget_id=16554
This makes me think about how free we were when we were young. "Don't you wish you could take a single childhood memory and blow it up into a bubble and live inside it forever?"
This soundtrack gives me the feelings of emptiness i felt when she left me one night and never came back home. I was physically injured and needed surgery to repair the broken bone. I couldn't walk, couldnt drive, and she never came back. Half a year after that I was finally walking and driving again. I still have the pup we got together, the last thing i have that reminds me of anything we had. He is getting old now. Not ready for another loss
I’ve read every single comment so far and I can’t imagine how hard it is for you all. I really hope it gets better. No matter if you’re depressed, have anxiety, ADHD, schizophrenic, having a hard time in general, or have a horrible childhood or just an adult - you deserve respect, love, and affection. I appreciate you even though I’ve never meet you. You’re probably a wonderful person, thank you for continuing this journey, I’m sending hugs and love 🫂❤️
If only it worked that way. Doesn't mean that people should stop trying whatever they're going for, but unfortunately, obscurity and invisibility are the Fates for many. Tons. Far more than half, for example.
I lost my best friend to self harm. If I could change the path, I would re-introduce him to someone who cared besides the relationship and he was in was very toxic so I’m scared to get in a relationship because I’ve seen what’s it like and it makes me sad.
My mom died recently, I do not know what to do now...I'm only 16 years old, how to move on, it's very difficult to accept this, because I drove with her every day in her silver car, we listened to music and sang, she died so early...
art is a therapy. I feel sad about you and I want to wish you good luck. you are strong, I believe. you know, art helped me so many times.. I write music and it helps me to cope with a lot of my problems. you should try to create something. strong emotions have, you know, some artistic energy that can help you to create something unique. you shouldn`t do something to other people, you should create to yourself, it helps. by the way, I am sure that you are a good person. your mom is proud of you. be proud of her and continue your unique way of your life. you know, everything will be fine in the end. if it`s not fine, it`s not the end. P.S. sorry, I am not good at English.. peace to you from Russia! get some rest and be a gorgeous person!
@@automastein5252 Спасибо, я тоже из России, я занимаюсь исскуством, но сейчас мне грустно от него, ведь важна была только оценка матери... Я уже третий день пытаюсь убрать мысль о своей смерти, ведь без неё моя жизнь пуста
@@Qwepoj держись, дружище, уверен, тебе очень тяжело. Думай о том, что твоя мама не хотела бы твоей смерти, она желала бы для тебя только самого лучшего.
I’m so sorry to hear that my mom passed away this year aswell and I’m 17 years old I found that relying on Jesus and his strength and growing towards him helped me so so much and he has healed me from those wounds, and having a good support of family and friends helps too of course
I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to put these awful things in to words. 2023 was the single worst year of my life. If I sat here to list everything I’d never stop typing. But I know it’s all gonna be worth jt. I know that if I just go a few more steps. Just a bit longer. Just another couple of days I’ll make it I am going to make it. I can’t let myself burn after everything I’ve been through. I won’t let myself sink. I can’t. I know I’m a bad person. And I hate myself for it. But I can’t give up. I can’t stop now. Not after the people I’ve lost, the relationships I’ve watched fade, the world I built crumble. It can’t all be for nothing. So I’ll keep going. I’ll keep going for you, and you keep going for me ❤
Reflection is key. "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1) 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
Every circle begins with its end. "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1) 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
The inevitable will always prevail. Until that moment, some freedoms within the boundaries of mortality exist. "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1) 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
I wish I'd talked to them more. I wish I'd been someone they could talk to. I wish I'd been someone they wanted to talk to. I wish i showed i cared more, gave them more hugs, been more open with them. I know its not my fault they didn't wanna talk or that i was who i was. I know it's not entirely my fault that i was scared, or childish, or emotionally unavailable. But i know things would've been different if i was. Now i don't even know if they're alive. They said they loved me, and i said it back. But i don't think i ever really meant those words till now. And I can't even say it to them anymore.
Hello, I am a girl from Iraq, my name is Narjis, and I am 15 years old. I am a girl from a poor and Muslim family, and I am the youngest person in my family who has been harassed since I was. My harasser uncle is 77 years old!! He harassed me from the age of 10 until I was 13, and I kept silent because I was afraid of my family, who would not understand me, and they would realize that I was the one who made the mistake, and they would not understand me, and they would think of something else, and they would marry me! I left him and I have been with him since I was about 4 years old. I have no longer lived with him for 11 years. I live with my two great uncles. My sisters are 4 years old, and my brother is a twin. I have one brother. I'm depressed and I'm tired, I don't know how to talk to anyone on Sunday, and I don't have someone to tell me that I'm beautiful again. I have sharp eyes, black in color, long eyelashes, my skin is white, my hair is walnut, my eyebrows are beautiful, my mouth and my nose are not! I do not live in comfort. I live in fear. I live in terror. Every day I sleep crying. My family neglects me and hates me because I smoke cigarettes. And he masturbated, but it has been two days since I decided to repent. I can never do them. This is a drop in the ocean about my life. I cannot write. Lord, help me. I need you. I am tired. I am perishing from the fatigue of my soul, my heart, my voice, my eyes, and my body. I am perishing from fatigue. I am in pain. I am tired. 💔🪫🪫 🪫I have no energy I don't want to live anymore, I'm not afraid of suicide, I want peace, I want to be happy, and God is tired, and my soul is tired, and my soul is tired, and my life is tired, and my laugh is tired, and my voice is tired, and my eyes are tired, and I am perished, and by God, I am not at ease. I swear to God, I am a broken dog, I swear to God, my dog is tired, I am tired. I swear to God, no one feels him, but they are poisoning my speech with him. I swear to God, I am not important, let me die, God, help me. God, I am tired. I swear I am not comfortable, God, that I am my body without my soul. My Lord, help me. My Lord, by God, I am not happy. My Lord, I am not strong. My Lord, I am under pressure and my soul is tired. My Lord, there is no one but you to whom I can expose myself. My Lord, but you are helping me, my Lord. I swear to God, I have perished. By God, my tears are full of me. By God, my departure is tired of me. By God, I am ashamed of myself. By God, I am negligent in my prayers, in my worship, in everything, that I am not important. May God take your safety after I have no energy 💔 😢
you're only 1 year older than me??? you've been through so much at such a young age, and I can't even imagine what it's like for you right now. I'm praying that you're still here with us right now, and I'm so sorry to hear about everything that happened to you. please know that you're never alone. you already know this, but yes, God is always there for you and watching over you. it may feel like you're all alone and He has abandoned you, but know that that's never true. if not in this life you find peace, you'll find it in the next life. but I don't mean by taking your own life, but rather through pushing through and starting a new chapter of your life. it's much easier said that done, considering I really don't know what your circumstances are like, but close your eyes, breathe, meditate, and try your best to let go of all that pain and harmful thoughts, even for just a second. if it helps, please know that I'm here for you if you ever want to talk as well.
I hope you're still alright, and you're still with us. Something pretty big is coming, and it's going to be the greatest thing to ever happen. The world will be changed, flipped upside down, back to the way it was meant to be. Not this evil twisted world filled with bad people. Please hang on as long as you can. You can't call it quits just yet! I'd like you to stick around so you can see how this story called planet Earth ends. You're going to LOVE it, I promise. Please hang in there, don't give up, the show is just about to get good.
quitte ton pays et viens vivre en france, je t acceuillerais avec grande joie pour que tu découvre ton bohneur enfin, tu trouvera mon adresse pour m'ecrire sur ma page de mon compte youtube.... Tu parles Francais ?
Of anyone sees this just know that you are enough you just gotta let the bad things leave and I know not everyone can do that it takes time don't worry distract yourself with something you always wanted to accomplish and I promise you that even if you still have those bad memories in your shoes memories are only lessons and those thoughts will be proud of you
@alexbohinskyi987 nah I'm actually fairly attractive. I just tried my best and it wasn't good enough. I highly doubt how I look is what made her send me away from me family.
I've had that feeling, i know what is it like. Is like constantly putting yourself below others, and feeling like you're not worth it. Doubting if anyone has really loved you or cared about you the same way as you did for them. Thinking that you failed as a friend, boy/girlfriend, family member... And blaming yourself because of that. Because you think you either were a fool for thinking it would work out or you did something wrong even if you tried your best. Im sorry for what you may be going through, but don't let that sh*t eat your brain man. You're worth it, doesn't matter if they like it, you did what you thought was the right decision. If they don't want to understand that, doesn't matter cause, at the end of the day, it's you and only you who went through all that and is still there, in front of the mirror. So you gotta love yourself, improve if you think you have to improve, but not because others think so (obviously there are cases when if everyone is telling you you are crazy maybe you are but xdd you understand what i mean
If only I could go back and change the past, I'd have never stopped taking my ssri. I now have permanent pssd. Which includes Complete loss of all my sexual function, permanent anhedonia, emotional blunting, cognitive impairment, visual issues, and insomnia. Everything that made me human has been stripped away. I can no longer feel love my onw husband and child and it devastating. All my interests have turned to ash. I can no longer experience happiness, sadness, rage, nostalgia or euphoria.. I'm locked inside my own body for eternity. The most painful part is I remember what it was like to feel love and peace when my son would come up and hug me and tell me "I love you, Mommy" I remember the warm loving sensation I'd get when my husband would hoke me and kiss me. It's cruel and inhumane on a level I never even thought possible.. my soul was stolen from me. All I can think about is death every minute of everyday.
Death is inevitable. Life is optional. Reflection is both key and lock in understanding what lies beyond the two. "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1) 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
@samleo2512 honestly?? Terrible. Symptoms have worsened. I can't form pictures in my head anymore, and I've lost most of my memories. I'm so cognitively and visually impaired I can't drive anymore. My emotional blunting is so severe I can't even experience physical comfort. It's like there's a glass barrier separating me from the outside world. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Thank you for asking though, it means the world to me that a total stranger would take the tile to reach and ask.. ❤️
@@gemini-vibes6118 i'm really sorry to hear that. you might not be religious, but please know that i'm praying for you and hoping that things will get better for you!! with love
No matter what happens nothing really changes. We are the same as always. People call us quiet kid, demon, monster, useless without even knowing anything. But we should always think that we are the luckiest. Cause there are a lot of people who's spending Their lives a bit more worse than us. The kid inside us is gone a long time ago. Today, I am here just to remind you that, we live in the WORLD. Well I am not blaming the world. I am blaming the people who destroyed the natural beauty of the world. We don't belong in this world. So live your life in the best way possible. Remember we are also human like you. We are like you. I love you guys who are suffering right now. These are not motivational speech. These are my thoughts about you and the world.
For many years now, I've longed, begged, and pleaded with every ounce of my heavy heart that I could go back and change the mistakes I made in the past that cost me my future 😪 Regretfully, I know that it will never happen I made my bed, and so I must lie in it, no matter how terrible it may be One thing I wish I could have improved was my childhood I would have been more confident in myself and appreciated my nature, and all the scum who made my life a misery would have been on permanent life support 😡 And, even though I cherished every moment I spent with my then fiancee, I would absolutely love to be able to go back to those times again Hold her in my arms, smell her petfume, smile at her beauty 😢 I miss her 😔
@@SamuelBlack84 Take good care of yourself bro, you deserve it. And don't let your negative emotions rule you, define you or affect your judgement. Stay strong and be kind to yourself and others.
anybody ever felt like they weren’t good enough and caused that to cloud their judgement with the person you are with? I ask myself even,when I’ve overreacted over something so stupid, will that person be by my side no matter what or fight for me to hear me out.
I spent much of my life believing I wasn't good enough as most other people That is until I got older and realised just how flawed, nasty, and undeserving most people are Now, I don't feel like a failure because I know that everybody else is no better
Eu tive uma depressao a alguns anos atrás… lembro que a primeira vez que eu me machuquei foi quando eu tinha 12 anos. Isso se deu ao fato da falta de amor que recebi na infância. Minha mãe viajava a trabalho e passava meses fora, nesses meses, eu ia de casa em casa e morava com parente. Já morei com minha irmã mais velha, meu pai, e alguns tios. Quando eu morei com minha irmã, eu era tratada como babá. Sempre cuidando do filho dela e sendo tratada mal quando o filho mimado dela contava alguma mentira, tirando quando ela chamava nosso primo para nossa casa. Uma vezes ele me estuprou(não chegou a me penetrar pois me debati e ele ficou com medo da minha irmã escutar), ele saiu contando isso para todo mundo como se eu fosse um prêmio de sua masculinidade e quando eu contei os de fato aconteceu para meus amigos, me disseram que eu só estava inventando pq não tinha gostado dele sair contando para todo mundo e que eu deveria estar feliz por ele se interessar por mim [ele era meio popular]. Isso me fez perder a coragem de falar para minha família e até hoje eles não sabem e penso que mesmo se eu tivesse contado, não daria em nada… sou obrigada a conviver com ele até hoje. Quando morei com meu pai (pedófilo em potencial), eu via ele me olhando com malícia ao as vezes sentia que ele estava tentando me tocar… eu não dormia direito pois tinha medo de quando sua esposa dormisse, ele mexesse comigo ou com minhas irmãs, quando eu morava com ele, meu sonambulismo piorou. Eu levantava de noite chorando e pedindo pela minha mãe. Quando morei com tios, não era tão ruim… sempre fui obediente e nunca dei motivo para reclamarem de mim… mas isso não foi o suficiente para ela me amar de fato. Sempre me viram como mentirosa, preguiçosa e fria sem sentimentos. Eu não conseguia demonstrar carinho por não ter recebido isso. Minha mãe dava presentes achando q isso supriria a falta que ela fazia e todo amor q eu não recebi. Foi quando eu procurei receber carinho de caras de internet, eu conversava até mesmo com caras mais velho que eu, mas um dia minha irmã descobriu isso e foi uma das piores situações da minha vida. Quando eu me cortei aos 11/12 anos. Falaram que eu estava fazendo drama… mas a verdade era que eu so estava cansada de existir em um mundo que não tinha amor para mim.. A maioria das pessoas como eu, usariam a escola como válvula de escape, mas até mesmo no colégio eu não tinha paz. Sofri bullying desde o 6º ano. Eu não tinha para onde correr na minha vida de merda. Eu dormia orando para Deus pra que eu não acordasse no outro dia e quando me levantei pela manhã, me tornei ateia. Pois se Deus estava me deixando passar por todo esse sofrimento enquanto os causadores disso saiam impunes, significava que ele não existia. Tentei me matar aos 13 anos. Mas não consegui chegar até o fim e hoje só tenho uma cicatriz grande na coxa, eu era desinformada e por isso não consegui cometer suicidio. Pra mim, se eu fizesse um corte fundo, eu sangraria até a morte. Não funcionou. Aos 14 anos, conheci meu atual namorado, ele sim foi uma válvula de escape. Sem;ré que estávamos juntos o mundo parava, ele me ajudou muito. Mas tudo isso me fez ter um dependência sobre ele. Com 1 ano de namoro, fomos morar juntos e eu enfim escapei da minha família, mas morando juntos, minha depressão e ansiedade caíram todas sobre ele… E era exaustivo lidar comigo. Eu faltava muita aula. Ele estudava de manhã e ele estudava de tarde. Eu descarregava tudo nele e acabou que ele precisou de uma válvula de escape de mim… então ele conheceu uma garota na escola dele. Diferente de mim, ela não descarregava as coisas nele e o ajudava com os problemas dele q eu não conseguia ajudar pois me causava mais ansiedade. Ele trocava mensagens carinhosas com ela, apagava as conversas, cabulava aula para ficar na praça com ela e ia na casa dela escondido. Ele não me respeitou nesse período. Quando descarreguei tudo sobre isso e o confrontei sobre a traição, ele terminou comigo. Eu desabei. Eu chorei e cortei a noite inteira e no outro dia descobri que ele falava com ela o tempo todo durante o término e ela induzia ele a falar certas coisas naquela hora como ‘’ciclos se encerram’’, ‘’você tem que aceitar isso’’. Ele foi para a escola normalmente e eu sem ter a quem recorrer, contei tudo a minha mãe e irmã na esperança de receber ajuda e pela primeira vez, alguém me ofereceu a sessão de terapia (eu nunca fiz pois minha mãe achava trama e eu era dependente dela financeiramente). A terapia foi boa pra mim, mas não me impediu de implorar para que ele continuasse comigo. De fato voltamos e ele cortou laços com ela, mas isso não foi o suficiente pra mim voltar a confiar nele. Continuamos com nosso relacionamento que foi melhorando aos poucos e eu parei de depender dele emocionalmente. Tivemos muitos altos e baixos e até hoje tem, nosso relacionamento nunca foi perfeito. Comecei a tomar ante depressivo aos 16, mas me descuidei do tratamento e não estou tomando o medicamento agora, mas pretendo voltar por conta da minha situação atual. Eu parei de me cortar e estou melhorando aos poucos, mas confesso que as vezes sinto um buraco no meu peito que acho que nunca será preenchido, durante nosso namoro, algumas vezes tomei remédios em abundância, remédios que me dariam sono e outras vezes eu de fato me machuquei. Talvez uma tentativa desesperada de acabar com tudo, mas nunca tive coragem de chegar até o fim, não quero que ele sinta culpa. Atualmente tenho 17 anos e me descobri gênero fluido a poucos meses, o que me causou mais pânico por minha mãe ter sido completamente intolerante com isso. Bem, acho engraçado como minha depressao surgiu aos 11 e só tive oportunidade de fazer um tratamento aos 16. Foram 5 longos anos, longos e dolorosos. O estresse que a depressao e ansiedade me causaram, me fizeram ter enxaqueca crônica que nunca foi descoberto como um problema físico. Fiz todo tipo de exame, ressonância, Tomografia, radiografia, e nunca foi encontrado nada. Apenas estresse me causou isso e até hoje lido com isso. Depressão é uma coisa séria que vai matando a gente por dentro e nos fazendo acabar com ela por fora tbm, mesmo hj sinto medo de cometer tais atos comigo mesma. Eu nasci em setembro, mês amarelo que luta contra a depressao e o suicidio, vi muitos hipócritas postando frases motivacionais jurando santidade. Pessoas que tantas vezes me fizeram querer morrer… por favor, ajude aquele amigo que está passando por momentos difíceis, mas ajude de verdade, não saia postando por aí que vá luta por essa causa mas depois sai por aí diminuindo as pessoas e usando as inseguranças dela para fazer com que ela se sinta mal, diferente de mim, ela pode chegar até o último ato. Quando alguém se vai, ela vai pra sempre… não vai adiantar se arrepender dps. Eu daria tudo pare ter recebido ajuda quando eu estava no auge da depressão, talvez assim, hoje eu tivesse uma vida normal, onde posso me sentir feliz por longos períodos de tempo e que não passassem pensamentos tão perversos em minha mente. Se passaram 6/7 anos desde o início da minha depressão e até hoje sofro com isso. Pense nisso pfvr, uma ação maldosa sua, pode fazer uma pessoas passar por isso tbm, passar anos pensando em se matar de tempos em tempos, anos sentindo uma tristeza profunda interminável ou levá-la ao extremo. Não seja uma pessoa babaca… Desculpa pelo desabafo, esse tipo de música me faz pensar muito.
você tem uma história muito triste, imagino o tanto que você tenha sofrido… Mas tenha em mente que nada é para sempre, tudo é temporário e está em constante movimento. Dias melhores virão, pensamentos positivos também e pessoas melhores iram apreciar a pessoa corajosa e destemida que você é. Você fez bem em cortar certos laços. Eu sei como é lidar com parentes assim e, o melhor a se fazer, é se afastar. Sei como deve ser difícil mas você deve perdoa-lós, não que eles mereçam, mas por que você merece. Você merece se desvincular desses problemas, precisa de paz e confiança ao lidar com esses tipos de problemas. Encontre uma força maior que possa te ajudar, religiosa ou não. Acredite em você mesmo e eu prometo, as coisas vão mudar. Você tem um ano inteiro agora para transformar essa triste história em superação e poder ajudar outras pessoas. Eu não te conheço mas saiba que te amo. Aprecio sua força e você merece reconhecimento por isso. Você veio sozinha para esse mundo, sem o amor necessário e não tendo noção de nada então, faça isso acontecer e choque eles. Mostre para eles que você é mais que isso. Automaticamente pessoas irão sumir da sua vida. Você vai se sentir sozinha e perdida mas saiba que esse não é o fim da sua história. Faça o mínimo se você se ama e quer mudar sua vida. Saia para caminhar, assista vídeos motivacionais, corte relacionamentos quando necessário. Pense na criança perdida que você um dia foi e faça de tudo para mudar isso, por ela. Por você. Essa criança existe dentro de você e merece ser amada e respeitada. Faça isso e com o tempo as coisas vão mudar, confie no processo e na minha palavra. te desejo tudo de bom 🤍
No soy bueno en español. Sin embargo, puedo decir que eres una persona increíble, muy fuerte e inteligente. Mereces respeto, amor y afecto. No puedo imaginar lo duras que fueron tu infancia y tu vida. Pase lo que pase, al menos puedes confiar en una persona para que te consuele. Amigo en línea o en la vida real. Mejorará, el tiempo cura casi cualquier cosa. ¡Les mando abrazos!
The Present offers both opportunity and choice. The Past can only provide Reflection. The Future is merely a direction: forward. Forward into the unknown. "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1) 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
Quand deux étoiles sont trop proches et que l'une d'elles explose en supernova, il arrive qu'elle condamne l'autre étoile à errer sans trajectoire dans l'univers. On les appelle les étoiles
I don't feel like changing the past am like in the peak days of my life like alot of friends from different genders with a good studying grades and a darling that always make happiness cross my heart
Hmm it’s good to face your emotions but don’t make it an occurring thing or it’ll be an enjoyment. Thus making you seek for more songs like these. Good luck out there.
I had to much pain... And when a need Help of my friend and girl friend, they lave me... Leave me Alone... When i m lost and ask for Help.. When everything is wrong every day for me.. I' feel so much betrayed.. I was fighting against my thinking way, who's to believe we're always Alone.. And they finish me... Do''t know what to do know ...
VENT I feel like I’m hallucinating my dog I had for 9 years, Esco. It’s making me depressed I never even wanted a puppy, I feel like my mom is starting to like the puppy more then Esco, she wants to actually do stuff with her, like put her in dog clothes, train her to do tricks, take her on walks, she wants to do stuff with this stupid ass fucking puppy when she didn’t even do those things for Esco, I mean Ik Esco can’t go on walks bc he’s a guard dog but still. At least Esco doesn’t bite me, at least Esco doesn’t eat all of Max food, at least Esco lets me know when to let him outside, at least Esco doesn’t get jealous when I pet my cats or Max, at least Esco doesn’t bite my cats ear, at least Esco doesn’t whine to get on the bed n bite me when he’s on!! At least I STILL want to LOOK for HIM!!! “sHeS JuSt A PuPpY” or “ShE dOeSnT KnOw AnY bEtTeR!!” Well guess what? Idc if she’s a puppy she needs to learn. In a matter of fact she doesn’t even fucking listen to me, she wants to behave when my sisters or mom is here looking at her or around her in her sight. She wants to act all innocent around them, but for me she just wants to bite me. N I’m sick n tired of her bullshit. I feel like she’s replacing Esco. I want my dog back I really do. If the gate wasn’t ever left open I would’ve still had him, I wouldn’t be this depressed, I wouldn’t have gotten Luna, I wouldn’t even be thinking abt ending it all, if my mom would let me go look for him I would. I would search for him every day. If Esco hadn’t got out of the yard n if Azul hadn’t died I would’ve been SOO much HAPPIER . I wouldn’t have gotten Max n Luna. And that’s the problem we got a new dog, I feel like they’re being replaced :( I never wanted new dogs I wanted MY dogs, the dogs who watched me grow up :( Maybe if I could’ve prevented Azul dying, and Esco getting out of the yard I would be SOOO much HAPPIER!! I gotten so depressed to the point I sometimes begged god to take my life so I don’t have to. :) “Are you okay??” Naurrrr!! I dont cry myself to sleep coz my dog gone, me fearing the last day I would have with my cats!!! NAUUURRRR!!! Coz the last day, I had with my dogs was when I didn’t pay attention to them. Now guess where they are NOW?!!? HUH?!!?? ONE IS DEAD AND THE OTHER IS GONE!!!!!! NAUURR IM SOO OKAY THAT IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF!!! Tbh when I love someone so much, they fucking leave me. Like my dogs, my best friend, my body I used to think was beautiful the way it was. Now look at it. I look like a take apart n put back together!! TBH IM GOING TO KMS BYE YALL I FUCKING HATE LIFE 2/12/24 My mom said she could press charges on me coz I’m being defiant- So I’m trying to find a job n get a place for me to stay at I guess I was thinking abt working at Home Depot but I’m not 16 so I can’t apply, I’m guessing I could just work at McDonald’s… idk I’m only 13 y/o I shouldn’t be looking for a job now, I don’t want charges to be pressed on me. I’m literally just a kid going thru grief over their dog n angry coz I can’t see him anymore, tbh just seeing the puppy makes me frustrated. I never wanted the puppy. I hate hearing ppl talk abt her, “oh my gosh! she’s so cute!” I don’t want to hear abt teaching her tricks, putting her in clothes, nothing. She is annoying, bites me, doesn’t listen to me when I tell her to stop, ‘playing’ with the cats(I guess biting my cats ear n taking a small tuff of his fur PLAYING), pissing in the house(disgusting), she wants all the attention on her, she isn’t the ONLY pet here!!!
Please don't, even though you and I are merely strangers on the internet, I know that your life is meant to continue on. If you have pets, think about how they would feel, not understanding why you left and never came back. If you have close family that you have a decent relationship to, think about the ache in their hearts knowing they won't be able to see you again. Think of that one friend who is/was always there for you when you needed them, maybe they might need you in the future too. Think about that one person at school or in your place of work who you always lend a pen/pencil too, or talk to during break, who will they have besides you? Think about all of the songs and celebrity drama you'll miss out on, if your favorite artist releases new music, how will you know if you like it I'd you're not around to listen to it? Think of all the adventures you'll miss out on, you might never get to go on that dream vacation of yours. Just try not to focus on the big picture of life and focus on the tiny details, like music, animals, close friends, TV shows. All of those things are going to be what you miss when you're gone. Just keep trying day by day, I know and understand it's hard, and hell, I am a stranger on the internet asking you to not end your life. So many things you'll miss out on if you do
Some decisions are temporary. Others are permanent. As long as all humans come to terms with the difference, that'd be quite a step in the ideal direction: *forward*. And sometimes, "forward" means into the unknown. "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1) 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
you’re enough to me, i can say that. you’re amazing. i hope to meet you in the stars. i don’t think i will ever interact with you again. but, i love you.
If convinced my mom hard enough to let you stay with me instead going to that group home where it only got worse for you, Lori... I'm sorry I didn't try hard enough. I hope you're ok now though. I don't know if I'll see you again.
I can’t speak english very well so i‘m writing this comment in german. Meine Mutter leidet an Schizophrenie und hat mein Leben bis jetzt sehr damit kaputt gemacht. Meine Kindheit war sehr anstrengend und verrückt da sie Wahnvorstellungen hat und ihre Medikamente nicht nehmen will. Sie und mein Vater sind getrennt und mein Vater und ich leben nun in einem anderen Haus allerdings in derselben Gegend. Sie steht oft vor meinem Haus oder taucht in meiner Schule auf. Einmal bin ich von der Schule weggelaufen weil sie gekommen ist. Fast hätte mein Crush sie an diesem Tag gesehen. Ich schaffe es einigermaßen mein Leben vor meinen Freunden und meiner Klasse zu verstecken aber an manchen bröckelt die Fassade, die ich dauernd versuche wieder aufzubauen. Mein Crush hat mich abgewiesen aber ich komme irgendwie nicht über ihn hinweg und er macht mir immer weiter falsche Hoffnungen. Meine Freunde sind fast alle falsch und würden mich auch einfach so vor allen bloß stellen. Es macht keinen Spaß zu leben. Ich weiß nicht wofür ich das alles überhaupt mache. Mein mentaler Zustand ist in einer sehr schlechten Verfassung und ich weiß einfach nicht mehr weiter.
Best tracks from my channel on a SPOTIFY playlist:
spoti.fi/4aH2Phn (Daily updated) ▶️
About my channel:
My Channel is a non-monetized music channel on TH-cam, created and operated by one anonymous individual under the alias Navo159. My Goal is creating the ultimate escapism music library on TH-cam, for people that need to escape reality, even for a second. I also network with artists and labels, so that their music can be heard and supported. Every Artist name along with the track title is always in the description of every video. So, if you want to support the artists, go and support them on their respective streaming platforms as well. Furthermore, all of the tracks used in my youtube playlists are copyrighted music, so if you see ads in my videos, it's because youtube places them automatically based on copyright-owners needs, I have no control over it, so sorry about that. And lastly, thank you so much for being a part of a wonderful community. Never thought I would be able to help so many people. Let's escape this reality together, at least for a moment. I will never stop making these videos. I just love music, and love sharing it with others who love it too.
💛 Mental health helplines:
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⭐ If you choose to donate on PATREON, the money will go towards buying new music for the channel so that everyone can benefit from your generosity. Donation is completely optional and I only made this Patreon so that those who feel the need to do so may have that ability.
Thank you for your continued support, and most importantly, thank you for listening!
📝 Want your music featured on my playlists? Do you think it will help other people? Email me • navowi99@gmail.com
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W man
😊
This makes me think about how free we were when we were young.
"Don't you wish you could take a single childhood memory and blow it up into a bubble and live inside it forever?"
No
This soundtrack gives me the feelings of emptiness i felt when she left me one night and never came back home. I was physically injured and needed surgery to repair the broken bone. I couldn't walk, couldnt drive, and she never came back.
Half a year after that I was finally walking and driving again. I still have the pup we got together, the last thing i have that reminds me of anything we had. He is getting old now. Not ready for another loss
I'm so sorry .. do you need to vent? I will pray for you
I have heard a quote that says:
"If you went back time and fixed all the mistakes you made, you would erase yourself"
Maybe but ì think that if we can back to the past we will be happier we could appreciate the things we have
I dont think i'd be happier. My past has all my mistakes
and i have learned from them.
If i didn't i wouldn't be who i am today.
and I wouldnt mind that. The present me is a disappointment and a fool
I'd be perfectly happy with that
This version of me is one I would gladly see the back of
That would be a good thing.
I’ve read every single comment so far and I can’t imagine how hard it is for you all. I really hope it gets better. No matter if you’re depressed, have anxiety, ADHD, schizophrenic, having a hard time in general, or have a horrible childhood or just an adult - you deserve respect, love, and affection. I appreciate you even though I’ve never meet you. You’re probably a wonderful person, thank you for continuing this journey, I’m sending hugs and love 🫂❤️
Your a real one LostT0ast. Thank you so much. ❤
If only it worked that way. Doesn't mean that people should stop trying whatever they're going for, but unfortunately, obscurity and invisibility are the Fates for many. Tons. Far more than half, for example.
@@Novastar.SaberCombat Yeah..
you've got no idea how much I needed to hear this today. thank you, I hope you get the peace and love that you deserve.
I just miss her a lot
I lost my best friend to self harm. If I could change the path, I would re-introduce him to someone who cared besides the relationship and he was in was very toxic so I’m scared to get in a relationship because I’ve seen what’s it like and it makes me sad.
My mom died recently, I do not know what to do now...I'm only 16 years old, how to move on, it's very difficult to accept this, because I drove with her every day in her silver car, we listened to music and sang, she died so early...
art is a therapy. I feel sad about you and I want to wish you good luck. you are strong, I believe. you know, art helped me so many times.. I write music and it helps me to cope with a lot of my problems. you should try to create something. strong emotions have, you know, some artistic energy that can help you to create something unique. you shouldn`t do something to other people, you should create to yourself, it helps.
by the way, I am sure that you are a good person. your mom is proud of you. be proud of her and continue your unique way of your life. you know, everything will be fine in the end. if it`s not fine, it`s not the end.
P.S. sorry, I am not good at English..
peace to you from Russia! get some rest and be a gorgeous person!
@@automastein5252 Спасибо, я тоже из России, я занимаюсь исскуством, но сейчас мне грустно от него, ведь важна была только оценка матери... Я уже третий день пытаюсь убрать мысль о своей смерти, ведь без неё моя жизнь пуста
@@Qwepoj держись, дружище, уверен, тебе очень тяжело. Думай о том, что твоя мама не хотела бы твоей смерти, она желала бы для тебя только самого лучшего.
I’m so sorry to hear that my mom passed away this year aswell and I’m 17 years old I found that relying on Jesus and his strength and growing towards him helped me so so much and he has healed me from those wounds, and having a good support of family and friends helps too of course
My condolences 💜
I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to put these awful things in to words. 2023 was the single worst year of my life. If I sat here to list everything I’d never stop typing.
But I know it’s all gonna be worth jt. I know that if I just go a few more steps. Just a bit longer. Just another couple of days I’ll make it
I am going to make it. I can’t let myself burn after everything I’ve been through. I won’t let myself sink. I can’t. I know I’m a bad person. And I hate myself for it. But I can’t give up. I can’t stop now. Not after the people I’ve lost, the relationships I’ve watched fade, the world I built crumble.
It can’t all be for nothing. So I’ll keep going.
I’ll keep going for you, and you keep going for me ❤
Reflection is key.
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
I’ll do the same bro, keep going champ !
Appreciate the thing you have right now
You never know when will they be gone
Like the past
When you cruise this playlists so much all the songs end up repeating. So can be said about life.
Every circle begins with its end.
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
I don't know why but I started crying
It happens to me too sometimes when I listen to the playlists on this channel and see the photos associated with them.
I feel so comfortable in this comment section because I know I'm not alone!!❤
God bless you all and help you through all your battles in Life!❤️
Lately I just think why am I here why did I ever existed. I just hope one day I’ll leave this painful world I was born in.
The inevitable will always prevail. Until that moment, some freedoms within the boundaries of mortality exist.
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
I wish I'd talked to them more.
I wish I'd been someone they could talk to.
I wish I'd been someone they wanted to talk to.
I wish i showed i cared more, gave them more hugs, been more open with them.
I know its not my fault they didn't wanna talk or that i was who i was. I know it's not entirely my fault that i was scared, or childish, or emotionally unavailable.
But i know things would've been different if i was.
Now i don't even know if they're alive.
They said they loved me, and i said it back. But i don't think i ever really meant those words till now.
And I can't even say it to them anymore.
Hello, I am a girl from Iraq, my name is Narjis, and I am 15 years old. I am a girl from a poor and Muslim family, and I am the youngest person in my family who has been harassed since I was. My harasser uncle is 77 years old!! He harassed me from the age of 10 until I was 13, and I kept silent because I was afraid of my family, who would not understand me, and they would realize that I was the one who made the mistake, and they would not understand me, and they would think of something else, and they would marry me! I left him and I have been with him since I was about 4 years old. I have no longer lived with him for 11 years. I live with my two great uncles. My sisters are 4 years old, and my brother is a twin. I have one brother. I'm depressed and I'm tired, I don't know how to talk to anyone on Sunday, and I don't have someone to tell me that I'm beautiful again. I have sharp eyes, black in color, long eyelashes, my skin is white, my hair is walnut, my eyebrows are beautiful, my mouth and my nose are not! I do not live in comfort. I live in fear. I live in terror. Every day I sleep crying. My family neglects me and hates me because I smoke cigarettes. And he masturbated, but it has been two days since I decided to repent. I can never do them. This is a drop in the ocean about my life. I cannot write. Lord, help me. I need you. I am tired. I am perishing from the fatigue of my soul, my heart, my voice, my eyes, and my body. I am perishing from fatigue. I am in pain. I am tired. 💔🪫🪫 🪫I have no energy
I don't want to live anymore, I'm not afraid of suicide, I want peace, I want to be happy, and God is tired, and my soul is tired, and my soul is tired, and my life is tired, and my laugh is tired, and my voice is tired, and my eyes are tired, and I am perished, and by God, I am not at ease. I swear to God, I am a broken dog, I swear to God, my dog is tired, I am tired. I swear to God, no one feels him, but they are poisoning my speech with him. I swear to God, I am not important, let me die, God, help me. God, I am tired. I swear I am not comfortable, God, that I am my body without my soul. My Lord, help me. My Lord, by God, I am not happy. My Lord, I am not strong. My Lord, I am under pressure and my soul is tired. My Lord, there is no one but you to whom I can expose myself. My Lord, but you are helping me, my Lord. I swear to God, I have perished. By God, my tears are full of me. By God, my departure is tired of me. By God, I am ashamed of myself. By God, I am negligent in my prayers, in my worship, in everything, that I am not important. May God take your safety after I have no energy 💔 😢
you're only 1 year older than me??? you've been through so much at such a young age, and I can't even imagine what it's like for you right now. I'm praying that you're still here with us right now, and I'm so sorry to hear about everything that happened to you. please know that you're never alone. you already know this, but yes, God is always there for you and watching over you. it may feel like you're all alone and He has abandoned you, but know that that's never true. if not in this life you find peace, you'll find it in the next life. but I don't mean by taking your own life, but rather through pushing through and starting a new chapter of your life. it's much easier said that done, considering I really don't know what your circumstances are like, but close your eyes, breathe, meditate, and try your best to let go of all that pain and harmful thoughts, even for just a second. if it helps, please know that I'm here for you if you ever want to talk as well.
I hope you're still alright, and you're still with us. Something pretty big is coming, and it's going to be the greatest thing to ever happen. The world will be changed, flipped upside down, back to the way it was meant to be. Not this evil twisted world filled with bad people.
Please hang on as long as you can. You can't call it quits just yet! I'd like you to stick around so you can see how this story called planet Earth ends. You're going to LOVE it, I promise. Please hang in there, don't give up, the show is just about to get good.
quitte ton pays et viens vivre en france, je t acceuillerais avec grande joie pour que tu découvre ton bohneur enfin, tu trouvera mon adresse pour m'ecrire sur ma page de mon compte youtube....
Tu parles Francais ?
Of anyone sees this just know that you are enough you just gotta let the bad things leave and I know not everyone can do that it takes time don't worry distract yourself with something you always wanted to accomplish and I promise you that even if you still have those bad memories in your shoes memories are only lessons and those thoughts will be proud of you
Also the beginning of the sentence was suppose to be if not of sorry
Thank you so much, i really needed to hear this ❤️, hope you have a wonderfull life ❤️
When will I be good enough?
If you find a way to change height and improve your face structure
@alexbohinskyi987 nah I'm actually fairly attractive. I just tried my best and it wasn't good enough. I highly doubt how I look is what made her send me away from me family.
Stranger your already good enough in my heart idk you but I know your a bright person just remember I will love you if no one loves you :D
@@ansiemarais2886 I understand you mean well...
I've had that feeling, i know what is it like. Is like constantly putting yourself
below others, and feeling like you're not worth it.
Doubting if anyone has really loved you or cared about you the same way as you did for them.
Thinking that you failed as a friend, boy/girlfriend, family member... And blaming yourself because of that.
Because you think you either were a fool for thinking it would work out or you did something wrong even if you tried your best.
Im sorry for what you may be going through, but don't let that sh*t eat your brain man.
You're worth it, doesn't matter if they like it, you did what you thought was the right decision.
If they don't want to understand that, doesn't matter cause, at the end of the day, it's you and only you who went through all that and is still there, in front of the mirror.
So you gotta love yourself, improve if you think you have to improve, but not because others think so (obviously there are cases when if everyone is telling you you are crazy maybe you are but xdd you understand what i mean
If only I could go back and change the past, I'd have never stopped taking my ssri. I now have permanent pssd. Which includes Complete loss of all my sexual function, permanent anhedonia, emotional blunting, cognitive impairment, visual issues, and insomnia. Everything that made me human has been stripped away. I can no longer feel love my onw husband and child and it devastating. All my interests have turned to ash. I can no longer experience happiness, sadness, rage, nostalgia or euphoria.. I'm locked inside my own body for eternity. The most painful part is I remember what it was like to feel love and peace when my son would come up and hug me and tell me "I love you, Mommy" I remember the warm loving sensation I'd get when my husband would hoke me and kiss me. It's cruel and inhumane on a level I never even thought possible.. my soul was stolen from me. All I can think about is death every minute of everyday.
Death is inevitable. Life is optional. Reflection is both key and lock in understanding what lies beyond the two.
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
How are you ? Tell us, How's thing going 🤞
@samleo2512 honestly?? Terrible. Symptoms have worsened. I can't form pictures in my head anymore, and I've lost most of my memories. I'm so cognitively and visually impaired I can't drive anymore. My emotional blunting is so severe I can't even experience physical comfort. It's like there's a glass barrier separating me from the outside world. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Thank you for asking though, it means the world to me that a total stranger would take the tile to reach and ask.. ❤️
@@gemini-vibes6118 i'm really sorry to hear that. you might not be religious, but please know that i'm praying for you and hoping that things will get better for you!! with love
No matter what happens nothing really changes. We are the same as always. People call us quiet kid, demon, monster, useless without even knowing anything. But we should always think that we are the luckiest. Cause there are a lot of people who's spending Their lives a bit more worse than us. The kid inside us is gone a long time ago. Today, I am here just to remind you that, we live in the WORLD. Well I am not blaming the world. I am blaming the people who destroyed the natural beauty of the world. We don't belong in this world. So live your life in the best way possible. Remember we are also human like you. We are like you. I love you guys who are suffering right now. These are not motivational speech. These are my thoughts about you and the world.
We will all become just stories...
For many years now, I've longed, begged, and pleaded with every ounce of my heavy heart that I could go back and change the mistakes I made in the past that cost me my future 😪
Regretfully, I know that it will never happen
I made my bed, and so I must lie in it, no matter how terrible it may be
One thing I wish I could have improved was my childhood
I would have been more confident in myself and appreciated my nature, and all the scum who made my life a misery would have been on permanent life support 😡
And, even though I cherished every moment I spent with my then fiancee, I would absolutely love to be able to go back to those times again
Hold her in my arms, smell her petfume, smile at her beauty 😢
I miss her 😔
you good bro?..
@@TheJessicaWarner My hearts beating
Take from that what you will
@@SamuelBlack84 Take good care of yourself bro, you deserve it. And don't let your negative emotions rule you, define you or affect your judgement. Stay strong and be kind to yourself and others.
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis (DD3)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
anybody ever felt like they weren’t good enough and caused that to cloud their judgement with the person you are with? I ask myself even,when I’ve overreacted over something so stupid, will that person be by my side no matter what or fight for me to hear me out.
I spent much of my life believing I wasn't good enough as most other people
That is until I got older and realised just how flawed, nasty, and undeserving most people are
Now, I don't feel like a failure because I know that everybody else is no better
If there was a button to just end my life, I think I would press it. The only reason I still have some kind of will to continue is my dad and family
don't say that buddy
Eu tive uma depressao a alguns anos atrás… lembro que a primeira vez que eu me machuquei foi quando eu tinha 12 anos. Isso se deu ao fato da falta de amor que recebi na infância.
Minha mãe viajava a trabalho e passava meses fora, nesses meses, eu ia de casa em casa e morava com parente. Já morei com minha irmã mais velha, meu pai, e alguns tios.
Quando eu morei com minha irmã, eu era tratada como babá. Sempre cuidando do filho dela e sendo tratada mal quando o filho mimado dela contava alguma mentira, tirando quando ela chamava nosso primo para nossa casa. Uma vezes ele me estuprou(não chegou a me penetrar pois me debati e ele ficou com medo da minha irmã escutar), ele saiu contando isso para todo mundo como se eu fosse um prêmio de sua masculinidade e quando eu contei os de fato aconteceu para meus amigos, me disseram que eu só estava inventando pq não tinha gostado dele sair contando para todo mundo e que eu deveria estar feliz por ele se interessar por mim [ele era meio popular]. Isso me fez perder a coragem de falar para minha família e até hoje eles não sabem e penso que mesmo se eu tivesse contado, não daria em nada… sou obrigada a conviver com ele até hoje.
Quando morei com meu pai (pedófilo em potencial), eu via ele me olhando com malícia ao as vezes sentia que ele estava tentando me tocar… eu não dormia direito pois tinha medo de quando sua esposa dormisse, ele mexesse comigo ou com minhas irmãs, quando eu morava com ele, meu sonambulismo piorou. Eu levantava de noite chorando e pedindo pela minha mãe.
Quando morei com tios, não era tão ruim… sempre fui obediente e nunca dei motivo para reclamarem de mim… mas isso não foi o suficiente para ela me amar de fato.
Sempre me viram como mentirosa, preguiçosa e fria sem sentimentos. Eu não conseguia demonstrar carinho por não ter recebido isso. Minha mãe dava presentes achando q isso supriria a falta que ela fazia e todo amor q eu não recebi.
Foi quando eu procurei receber carinho de caras de internet, eu conversava até mesmo com caras mais velho que eu, mas um dia minha irmã descobriu isso e foi uma das piores situações da minha vida.
Quando eu me cortei aos 11/12 anos. Falaram que eu estava fazendo drama… mas a verdade era que eu so estava cansada de existir em um mundo que não tinha amor para mim..
A maioria das pessoas como eu, usariam a escola como válvula de escape, mas até mesmo no colégio eu não tinha paz. Sofri bullying desde o 6º ano. Eu não tinha para onde correr na minha vida de merda. Eu dormia orando para Deus pra que eu não acordasse no outro dia e quando me levantei pela manhã, me tornei ateia. Pois se Deus estava me deixando passar por todo esse sofrimento enquanto os causadores disso saiam impunes, significava que ele não existia. Tentei me matar aos 13 anos. Mas não consegui chegar até o fim e hoje só tenho uma cicatriz grande na coxa, eu era desinformada e por isso não consegui cometer suicidio. Pra mim, se eu fizesse um corte fundo, eu sangraria até a morte. Não funcionou.
Aos 14 anos, conheci meu atual namorado, ele sim foi uma válvula de escape. Sem;ré que estávamos juntos o mundo parava, ele me ajudou muito. Mas tudo isso me fez ter um dependência sobre ele. Com 1 ano de namoro, fomos morar juntos e eu enfim escapei da minha família, mas morando juntos, minha depressão e ansiedade caíram todas sobre ele… E era exaustivo lidar comigo. Eu faltava muita aula. Ele estudava de manhã e ele estudava de tarde.
Eu descarregava tudo nele e acabou que ele precisou de uma válvula de escape de mim… então ele conheceu uma garota na escola dele. Diferente de mim, ela não descarregava as coisas nele e o ajudava com os problemas dele q eu não conseguia ajudar pois me causava mais ansiedade. Ele trocava mensagens carinhosas com ela, apagava as conversas, cabulava aula para ficar na praça com ela e ia na casa dela escondido. Ele não me respeitou nesse período. Quando descarreguei tudo sobre isso e o confrontei sobre a traição, ele terminou comigo. Eu desabei. Eu chorei e cortei a noite inteira e no outro dia descobri que ele falava com ela o tempo todo durante o término e ela induzia ele a falar certas coisas naquela hora como ‘’ciclos se encerram’’, ‘’você tem que aceitar isso’’.
Ele foi para a escola normalmente e eu sem ter a quem recorrer, contei tudo a minha mãe e irmã na esperança de receber ajuda e pela primeira vez, alguém me ofereceu a sessão de terapia (eu nunca fiz pois minha mãe achava trama e eu era dependente dela financeiramente). A terapia foi boa pra mim, mas não me impediu de implorar para que ele continuasse comigo.
De fato voltamos e ele cortou laços com ela, mas isso não foi o suficiente pra mim voltar a confiar nele.
Continuamos com nosso relacionamento que foi melhorando aos poucos e eu parei de depender dele emocionalmente. Tivemos muitos altos e baixos e até hoje tem, nosso relacionamento nunca foi perfeito.
Comecei a tomar ante depressivo aos 16, mas me descuidei do tratamento e não estou tomando o medicamento agora, mas pretendo voltar por conta da minha situação atual.
Eu parei de me cortar e estou melhorando aos poucos, mas confesso que as vezes sinto um buraco no meu peito que acho que nunca será preenchido, durante nosso namoro, algumas vezes tomei remédios em abundância, remédios que me dariam sono e outras vezes eu de fato me machuquei. Talvez uma tentativa desesperada de acabar com tudo, mas nunca tive coragem de chegar até o fim, não quero que ele sinta culpa.
Atualmente tenho 17 anos e me descobri gênero fluido a poucos meses, o que me causou mais pânico por minha mãe ter sido completamente intolerante com isso.
Bem, acho engraçado como minha depressao surgiu aos 11 e só tive oportunidade de fazer um tratamento aos 16. Foram 5 longos anos, longos e dolorosos.
O estresse que a depressao e ansiedade me causaram, me fizeram ter enxaqueca crônica que nunca foi descoberto como um problema físico. Fiz todo tipo de exame, ressonância, Tomografia, radiografia, e nunca foi encontrado nada. Apenas estresse me causou isso e até hoje lido com isso.
Depressão é uma coisa séria que vai matando a gente por dentro e nos fazendo acabar com ela por fora tbm, mesmo hj sinto medo de cometer tais atos comigo mesma.
Eu nasci em setembro, mês amarelo que luta contra a depressao e o suicidio, vi muitos hipócritas postando frases motivacionais jurando santidade. Pessoas que tantas vezes me fizeram querer morrer… por favor, ajude aquele amigo que está passando por momentos difíceis, mas ajude de verdade, não saia postando por aí que vá luta por essa causa mas depois sai por aí diminuindo as pessoas e usando as inseguranças dela para fazer com que ela se sinta mal, diferente de mim, ela pode chegar até o último ato. Quando alguém se vai, ela vai pra sempre… não vai adiantar se arrepender dps.
Eu daria tudo pare ter recebido ajuda quando eu estava no auge da depressão, talvez assim, hoje eu tivesse uma vida normal, onde posso me sentir feliz por longos períodos de tempo e que não passassem pensamentos tão perversos em minha mente. Se passaram 6/7 anos desde o início da minha depressão e até hoje sofro com isso. Pense nisso pfvr, uma ação maldosa sua, pode fazer uma pessoas passar por isso tbm, passar anos pensando em se matar de tempos em tempos, anos sentindo uma tristeza profunda interminável ou levá-la ao extremo.
Não seja uma pessoa babaca…
Desculpa pelo desabafo, esse tipo de música me faz pensar muito.
você tem uma história muito triste, imagino o tanto que você tenha sofrido… Mas tenha em mente que nada é para sempre, tudo é temporário e está em constante movimento. Dias melhores virão, pensamentos positivos também e pessoas melhores iram apreciar a pessoa corajosa e destemida que você é. Você fez bem em cortar certos laços. Eu sei como é lidar com parentes assim e, o melhor a se fazer, é se afastar. Sei como deve ser difícil mas você deve perdoa-lós, não que eles mereçam, mas por que você merece. Você merece se desvincular desses problemas, precisa de paz e confiança ao lidar com esses tipos de problemas. Encontre uma força maior que possa te ajudar, religiosa ou não. Acredite em você mesmo e eu prometo, as coisas vão mudar. Você tem um ano inteiro agora para transformar essa triste história em superação e poder ajudar outras pessoas. Eu não te conheço mas saiba que te amo. Aprecio sua força e você merece reconhecimento por isso. Você veio sozinha para esse mundo, sem o amor necessário e não tendo noção de nada então, faça isso acontecer e choque eles. Mostre para eles que você é mais que isso. Automaticamente pessoas irão sumir da sua vida. Você vai se sentir sozinha e perdida mas saiba que esse não é o fim da sua história. Faça o mínimo se você se ama e quer mudar sua vida. Saia para caminhar, assista vídeos motivacionais, corte relacionamentos quando necessário. Pense na criança perdida que você um dia foi e faça de tudo para mudar isso, por ela. Por você. Essa criança existe dentro de você e merece ser amada e respeitada. Faça isso e com o tempo as coisas vão mudar, confie no processo e na minha palavra. te desejo tudo de bom 🤍
No soy bueno en español. Sin embargo, puedo decir que eres una persona increíble, muy fuerte e inteligente. Mereces respeto, amor y afecto. No puedo imaginar lo duras que fueron tu infancia y tu vida. Pase lo que pase, al menos puedes confiar en una persona para que te consuele. Amigo en línea o en la vida real. Mejorará, el tiempo cura casi cualquier cosa. ¡Les mando abrazos!
Nice playlist, but I’ve heard all these songs in other playlists 😭. Thousands of times it feels.
You know you are gonna have a vibe then Snowfall is the first song.
At this moment i am just hoping that somebody saves me from this empty feeling...
fr
My cat Skittles liked this music
if only i could change the past...
Maybe this playlist will save me??
I wish more than anything that I could go back and do it right this time. I ruined my life and will always regret it.
The Present offers both opportunity and choice. The Past can only provide Reflection. The Future is merely a direction: forward. Forward into the unknown.
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"So done now?"
Quand deux étoiles sont trop proches et que l'une d'elles explose en supernova, il arrive qu'elle condamne l'autre étoile à errer sans trajectoire dans l'univers. On les appelle les étoiles
Étoiles vagabondes*.
Nekfeu.
Yall I would be so powerful I would be unstoppable thank God I can't change the past
I don't feel like changing the past am like in the peak days of my life like alot of friends from different genders with a good studying grades and a darling that always make happiness cross my heart
Me after binging :
Hmm it’s good to face your emotions but don’t make it an occurring thing or it’ll be an enjoyment. Thus making you seek for more songs like these. Good luck out there.
i want to change the past too...
My dad died 65 years ago which was a very very very long time ago when I was three I am now 28 years old and I’m always with him
"Reflect upon the Past.
Embrace your Present.
Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis (DD3)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
If I could change the past I would change that he didn't say that to me (I will share when I get 10 likes)
What did he say?
@@hickey489 lets just call the other person jake (its not his name but im not saying his name)he said " that jake was going to stick it in me"
I had to much pain... And when a need Help of my friend and girl friend, they lave me... Leave me Alone... When i m lost and ask for Help.. When everything is wrong every day for me.. I' feel so much betrayed.. I was fighting against my thinking way, who's to believe we're always Alone.. And they finish me... Do''t know what to do know
...
VENT
I feel like I’m hallucinating my dog I had for 9 years, Esco. It’s making me depressed I never even wanted a puppy, I feel like my mom is starting to like the puppy more then Esco, she wants to actually do stuff with her, like put her in dog clothes, train her to do tricks, take her on walks, she wants to do stuff with this stupid ass fucking puppy when she didn’t even do those things for Esco, I mean Ik Esco can’t go on walks bc he’s a guard dog but still.
At least Esco doesn’t bite me, at least Esco doesn’t eat all of Max food, at least Esco lets me know when to let him outside, at least Esco doesn’t get jealous when I pet my cats or Max, at least Esco doesn’t bite my cats ear, at least Esco doesn’t whine to get on the bed n bite me when he’s on!! At least I STILL want to LOOK for HIM!!!
“sHeS JuSt A PuPpY” or “ShE dOeSnT KnOw AnY bEtTeR!!” Well guess what? Idc if she’s a puppy she needs to learn. In a matter of fact she doesn’t even fucking listen to me, she wants to behave when my sisters or mom is here looking at her or around her in her sight. She wants to act all innocent around them, but for me she just wants to bite me. N I’m sick n tired of her bullshit.
I feel like she’s replacing Esco. I want my dog back I really do. If the gate wasn’t ever left open I would’ve still had him, I wouldn’t be this depressed, I wouldn’t have gotten Luna, I wouldn’t even be thinking abt ending it all, if my mom would let me go look for him I would. I would search for him every day.
If Esco hadn’t got out of the yard n if Azul hadn’t died I would’ve been SOO much HAPPIER . I wouldn’t have gotten Max n Luna. And that’s the problem we got a new dog, I feel like they’re being replaced :( I never wanted new dogs I wanted MY dogs, the dogs who watched me grow up :(
Maybe if I could’ve prevented Azul dying, and Esco getting out of the yard I would be SOOO much HAPPIER!!
I gotten so depressed to the point I sometimes begged god to take my life so I don’t have to. :)
“Are you okay??” Naurrrr!! I dont cry myself to sleep coz my dog gone, me fearing the last day I would have with my cats!!! NAUUURRRR!!! Coz the last day, I had with my dogs was when I didn’t pay attention to them.
Now guess where they are NOW?!!? HUH?!!?? ONE IS DEAD AND THE OTHER IS GONE!!!!!! NAUURR IM SOO OKAY THAT IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF!!!
Tbh when I love someone so much, they fucking leave me. Like my dogs, my best friend, my body I used to think was beautiful the way it was. Now look at it. I look like a take apart n put back together!!
TBH IM GOING TO KMS BYE YALL I FUCKING HATE LIFE
2/12/24
My mom said she could press charges on me coz I’m being defiant- So I’m trying to find a job n get a place for me to stay at I guess I was thinking abt working at Home Depot but I’m not 16 so I can’t apply, I’m guessing I could just work at McDonald’s… idk
I’m only 13 y/o I shouldn’t be looking for a job now, I don’t want charges to be pressed on me. I’m literally just a kid going thru grief over their dog n angry coz I can’t see him anymore, tbh just seeing the puppy makes me frustrated. I never wanted the puppy. I hate hearing ppl talk abt her, “oh my gosh! she’s so cute!” I don’t want to hear abt teaching her tricks, putting her in clothes, nothing.
She is annoying, bites me, doesn’t listen to me when I tell her to stop, ‘playing’ with the cats(I guess biting my cats ear n taking a small tuff of his fur PLAYING), pissing in the house(disgusting), she wants all the attention on her, she isn’t the ONLY pet here!!!
loll
th ereason why :snowfall is in most of these playlists ib because it can be related to most of these titles
I dont wanna live anymore and im not afraid of suicid anymore. I want peace in my life and in my mind
Please don't, even though you and I are merely strangers on the internet, I know that your life is meant to continue on. If you have pets, think about how they would feel, not understanding why you left and never came back. If you have close family that you have a decent relationship to, think about the ache in their hearts knowing they won't be able to see you again. Think of that one friend who is/was always there for you when you needed them, maybe they might need you in the future too. Think about that one person at school or in your place of work who you always lend a pen/pencil too, or talk to during break, who will they have besides you? Think about all of the songs and celebrity drama you'll miss out on, if your favorite artist releases new music, how will you know if you like it I'd you're not around to listen to it? Think of all the adventures you'll miss out on, you might never get to go on that dream vacation of yours.
Just try not to focus on the big picture of life and focus on the tiny details, like music, animals, close friends, TV shows. All of those things are going to be what you miss when you're gone.
Just keep trying day by day, I know and understand it's hard, and hell, I am a stranger on the internet asking you to not end your life. So many things you'll miss out on if you do
Some decisions are temporary. Others are permanent. As long as all humans come to terms with the difference, that'd be quite a step in the ideal direction: *forward*. And sometimes, "forward" means into the unknown.
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
ANTO LOVE YOU
Abyss abyss abyss ☕️
ad between a relaxing video? of course! stupidity has no limits
I really miss her, and it was my fault
will I ever be enough for someone?
Only you can answer that question. But always remember that the thing you are seeking in life is seeking you.
you’re enough to me, i can say that. you’re amazing. i hope to meet you in the stars. i don’t think i will ever interact with you again. but, i love you.
If convinced my mom hard enough to let you stay with me instead going to that group home where it only got worse for you, Lori... I'm sorry I didn't try hard enough. I hope you're ok now though. I don't know if I'll see you again.
My brother died from suicide in 2023 life is pretty pointless for me as of now I try to be strong and enjoy life but it just doesn't feel the same
보고 싶다.
I can’t speak english very well so i‘m writing this comment in german.
Meine Mutter leidet an Schizophrenie und hat mein Leben bis jetzt sehr damit kaputt gemacht. Meine Kindheit war sehr anstrengend und verrückt da sie Wahnvorstellungen hat und ihre Medikamente nicht nehmen will. Sie und mein Vater sind getrennt und mein Vater und ich leben nun in einem anderen Haus allerdings in derselben Gegend. Sie steht oft vor meinem Haus oder taucht in meiner Schule auf. Einmal bin ich von der Schule weggelaufen weil sie gekommen ist. Fast hätte mein Crush sie an diesem Tag gesehen. Ich schaffe es einigermaßen mein Leben vor meinen Freunden und meiner Klasse zu verstecken aber an manchen bröckelt die Fassade, die ich dauernd versuche wieder aufzubauen. Mein Crush hat mich abgewiesen aber ich komme irgendwie nicht über ihn hinweg und er macht mir immer weiter falsche Hoffnungen. Meine Freunde sind fast alle falsch und würden mich auch einfach so vor allen bloß stellen. Es macht keinen Spaß zu leben. Ich weiß nicht wofür ich das alles überhaupt mache. Mein mentaler Zustand ist in einer sehr schlechten Verfassung und ich weiß einfach nicht mehr weiter.
Remind me of my ex lol
why did u have to copy my name BUDDY