This happened to me after I reported a former boss for relentlessly telling me all the nasty things he wanted to do to me. A married man, “good” father, and pillar of his community, he said I was the one came after me and shared private information that he knew about me to paint me as crazy and a liar. I lost mutual friends to him. It was tough at first but I soon realized that I didn’t need people like that in my inner circle.
That’s sexual harassment. That creep should have been fired, but it’s so common in schools or the work place for these nasty people to be protected and for their targets to be further harmed. I really hate that.
This is exactly what happened to Meg The Stallion. She was clearly shot and her abuser and his flying monkeys pivoted to her sexual past and friendships to prove she wasn’t worthy of protection. Additionally this also happens with victims who are from marginalized groups…particularly black victims. Thanks for this video.
You have to understand that the BC is all about BMW, so any time a BW is involved with one of them getting what they deserve, especially in the courts, there is outrage and protests to free the abuser and to harm the survivor. The BC hates BG/BW, and will literally do anything to protect BM.
All of the women I know who confided in me in telling me they were raped never did a thing about it. I remember one friend…all of us in her friend group tried to encourage her to prosecute her attacker but she just shut down and went quiet instead. The abusers know the odds are stacked against the victim and with abusing in mind will play up and plan situations with targeted victims and chosen methods that will confound the victim’s credibility if they decide to speak out. The abusers often get off on getting away with it and will continue to seek out victims. This is why it’s so important to speak out but the reality is without any solid proof, it just becomes he said/she said situation. One should report them anyway because a long trail of reports even without prosecution or a win for the case starts to say something about them. How does a person prove they’ve been touched inappropriately by someone?
"Report anyway because then there's a paper trail" was my philosophy in reporting my attacker. In my case, the police were absolute rockstars and I have no complaints whatsoever about how they treated me or handled the case, but the detective and I discussed it and agreed that with minimal injury and my word against his, a conviction would be so unlikely it wouldn't be worth going to trial. I didn't disagree at all. I was just happy to have the incident recorded by them and to receive proper medical care. But boy, the police's handling of things made all the difference for me. I felt validated and believed by every single officer and medical professional I interacted with, and that in itself was probably the most important thing for recovering.
@@Ad1nfernum That is really amazing. I am so sorry you had to go through that, but so happy that you had the proper care from the police and detective. I hope this becomes the norm not the exception for all survivors. I too had a good interaction with the authorities from my attack, but I was 10 so they thankfully believed me and caught the person. I also had tremendous support from my parents, so grateful for that as well, because so many do not.
Don't forget the "false accusations". I have had that one keep me silent on my abuser (who went on to hurt others and got caught), but also I've seen it used to keep victims of -isms down. Particularly racism and ableism.
Well done. This helped me articulate my own thoughts. I'm dealing with an ex that has made false allegations against me with DCS and police (after our separation). It continued even after divorce. You described exactly his tactics and my response. It's hard for me to see patterns in all the chaos. Thank you!!!
I told my support system and basically just cut and leave because I knew this would happen to me if I went more public about it. Years after I left had a ex friend reach out to catch up and the moment i said, "sure that'd be nice. Just don't talk to me about my ex or share personal details about me to him or I'll have to cut off contact." He left me in read til this day 😂 so that answered that
This is very true. I haven't spoken up about mine because I absolutely know nobody will believe me. Only my spouse has ever believed me. I've resigned myself to accepting that most people don't get justice or closure, so at least I'm not alone in that.
I've often been told I should be a lawyer because I point out things I think are obvious, yet those around me say, "I never thought of it that way." But, man, you got me beat! Just like that Springfield, OH, resident who took MAGA down at a city meeting, citing all the facts about all the economic growth the Haitian immigrants brought to their city.
Yeah, I had an ex do exactly this. Fortunately, one of our mutual friends saw through her bullshit and pointed it out to everyone else, so it stopped before the dogpiling could really get going. We’ve still chosen to distance ourselves from those friends, who refused to believe me but believed her when she said the exact same stuff I did.
It's wild because this literally happened to Meghan Markle for years. As you're explaining it, my brain is remembering all the 'flying monkeys' of the British media attacking her. Still attacking her.
@@nix2747 no but fr Haven't they literally just started talking about her again? For... Working? Like, having a netflix show? Like this will follow her for the rest of her life, and what did she do?
Yes, and I still cannot get over how absurd it is. Everyone was treating a literal PRINCE like a child and said he was being “manipulated by an evil gold digging ab-ser”. Dude, he grew up megarich and megapowerful. He can leave whenever he wants and 99% of the world would rally behind him because she’s black. Maybe, just maybe, he faced far more ab-se from his megarich and megapowerful family. And in interviews, neither of them have ever named names of who was racist; they only called out the ab-se, as said in this video. I believe Harry later was a bit more specific in his book, but I haven’t read it, so I can’t speak on that too much. I also think it’s funny that they said he would leave her within a year and uh... he definitely didn’t 😂
I have an older sister who is abusive. It got to the point where my mother called the police on her, and this is exactly what she has gone on to do. It is absolutely soul-crushing when this happens.
My ex didn’t paint me as a horrible person. He painted me as weak and emotionally unstable. It is just as damaging. I just wanted to put that out there because it’s another tactic used by abusers. They keep you off your feet and then use your continued instability (that they caused) as an example of your poor mental health. It’s akin to causing reactive abuse. Push you to a meltdown and then call you crazy.
Superb analysis. I've been through this myself and the flying monkeys were nasty. It always makes me wonder why flying monkeys get involved. People always talk about abusers but I'm curious too about whether flying monkeys enjoy abusing too.
@@fluffylegs8598 people are known to leap at the chance to act cruel to acceptable targets. The flying monkeys justify their cruelty with righteous indignation, and revel in causing pain to those they think deserve it.
In my experience, each flying monkey has their own motivation. Some are ambitious and use the situation to move up the ladder. Some are weak, emotionally and intellectually. Some come from a mindset that doesn’t recognize right and wrong, but only who has more power. And yes, in my experience, some are just waiting for the opportunity to unleash their own sadism.
My parents and my aunt and uncle did this to me when I tried to report my dad for s*xual @assault and @buse when I was 13, it’s messed me up quite a lot over the years and I feel isolated. The funny thing is when the actual truth came out the same aunt and uncle that never listened to me actually protected my little siblings and made the cps report when I was 18 already so it was too late for me but at least she helped the younger ones. But they never apologized for protecting my dad. I feel like I am just collateral damage. My dad got away with everything because the extended family protected him too before they realized the truth and I felt triangulated and judged my whole childhood and deemed an attention hungry child by my parents and aunt and uncle so they set me up to not be believed by anyone. It was when other siblings spoke up too finally that there was help. But still no one cares about what they put me through it feels like, and my aunt got paid very well to foster my younger siblings which I feel was her motivation. I feel like I have no family or parents
@@Anon06428 that is so terrible, I feel for you!!! Some people don't deserve their children! Society shall always trust to a child's story - until fat well proved wrong. And if child says something like that, and one ignores it as a FAMILY member... That's the worst betrayer and as*hole in denial around! So sorry to hear what you had to go through 💔
Children are in an interestingly unenviable position of having to build up the same level of social capital and influence as adults who have already built strong social bonds. Despite being rightful additions to a family, they're outsiders the moment they become disruptive elements.
Hamas is terrorist organization that wants Israel to burn. They want them gone and teaches their human shields to be proud of dying for their cause. They put weapons in schools and hospitals intentionally to be able to get them to bomb them so they can go look how evil the Jews are. And people believe the terrorists. Because despite Israel being held to a ridiculously high standard and meeting it time and time again the world hates Jews.
Oh, god. I hate remembering this. That poor woman. Having a panic attack on the stand while discussing her r-pe and the snake oil salesmen on YT who call themselves ““body language experts”” claiming she was lying because she SHOWED SIGNS OF STRESS. These rats have had such easy lives, rich little white boys praising men and taking down women with their pseudo-science body language that is just as effective as crystal healing and talking to ghosts. It pisses me off so much still.
Speak for yourself, I always believed her 🤷 and I thought a lot of y'all were hashtag treating domestic abuse like a spectator sport (also the comment above me is coming from a schmuck lmfao)
@@QWERTY-gp8fd God I wish that was true, it would make it so much easier to discern who lies and who truths. Did you listen to anything this dude in the video said?
He hired a firm to flood the net with lies and memes about Heard amongst other things he did. The “Amber Heard Makeup Kit” was especially disgusting. A kit where you make yourself up with a beaten face. The Guardian went into details about it.
This described my family dynamic to this day, in a nutshell. I lost all of them because (as a child and a young adult!) I tended to react to the abuse with anger, indignation, lashing out when it all got too much, or straight up disassociation. I tried to set firm boundaries (with the help of years and years of therapy) with my primary abuser in the family, and after only a year or so they reacted by calling me the abuser and cutting me out of their life, using their children as a means to make the rest of the family her flying monkeys because I was somehow the one causing the trouble for family gatherings. I have strained relationships with all of them, though an entirely separate (but uneasy) relationship with my parents To this day they think my attitude was the problem, and after a decade they’ve somehow made it that my abuser and I are ‘as bad as each other’ because I refuse to apologise for the umpteenth time for something I never did. Yielding never helped, why would it help now? I don’t think any of my siblings knows much about me past the age of 11
Exactly! And NOW Baldoni has the media and people focusing on how Lively was mean a few times in her life to others which has NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS HARASSMENT OF HER. I saw EXACTLY what he has been doing and was NEVER fooled by what he is trying to do BUT I noticed others are fooled. It’s sad.😢 FYI: JB IS using DARVO. He IS at the ‘ARVO’ stages of it. It’s very clear he is.
@@SnowLeopardForever I agree but this case is a little different in that they are not just now discussing her behavior, her behavior was the topic and center of the alleged smear campaign. So it's intertwined in her claim of retaliation but is not related to any harassment she may have endured
@@LoveSierraAnastasia JB and his team are NOW trying to frame it as BL was being a bully to him like she was to a few other WOMEN. That IS a red flag. It’s VERY CLEAR that JB IS NOW at the ‘ARVO’ stages of DARVO. Look DARVO up and you will see what I mean.
👏👏👏 that last sentence sums it up perfectly - an abused who spends all of their time avoiding talking about the abuse and only talking about their accuser doesn't want to empower victims - they want to silence them."
I couldn't do the deep dive necessary to have a confident opinion on the truth of that case. I just knew that public opinion would decide that Depp had more credibility than Heard - because he's popular, because he's a good actor, because he's a man. Not for any reason having to do with what the truth was.
@@emilydivis6369 being a man means you have LESS credibility when accused of domestic violence. men are even blamed for defending themselves. the evidence was against heard- how do you explain the pictures of depp's sliced figure? the audio tapes of her admitting to hitting him?
Yes. People are SO fast to protect an abuser and to insult a victim. :-( why are people like this? I remenber the case around Til Lindemann and so many peole portraied the old millionair with power to be the victim and the young women with no power and money as the bad peole who want to ruin his career - even though this whole scandal made him even richer.
Because abusers have charm and charisma. Its the only trait they deem worth developing. Whenever I meet someone who easily gets people to listen I watch for signs. Sometimes its a good person sharing wisdom, but more often its a person feeding on attention, manipulating everyone
@@kikijewell2967 while people have lowered ability to understand situation thanks to manipulation of abuser, they don’t lose responsibility for their actions; after all, with freedom comes responsibility.
DARVO refers to a reaction perpetrators of wrong doing, particularly sexual offenders, may display *in response to being held accountable for their behavior*. DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender." The perpetrator or offender may Deny the behavior, Attack the individual doing the confronting, and Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender such that the perpetrator assumes the victim role and turns the true victim -- or the whistle blower -- into an alleged offender.
Silence is basically taught to us as being the better person. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY when someone is being harassed and bullied or objectified and peoples advice is just ignore them/block them and move on. Dont say anything. Dont stand up for yourself. Be an adult. Dont be petty. Work on you and getting over it, dont let them consume your whole life, dont let them have power over you. Its amazing how much stupid useless advice people give as an outsider, that allow the people who are hurting someone else or being disgusting, to just move on to the next person, because the only way to be an adult in these situations is to keep quiet, dont let it bother you, be completely solid in your own self confidence, and always just be a better person. Yeah that will show em.
I had this happen with a roommate once. We started as acquaintances then as soon as I moved in things went down hill. She did the silent treatment for months. I moved out. Found out later from a mutual that this person had been trash talking me behind my back since the first day I moved in. Apparently she has done the same thing to like four other people. I learned a valuable lesson that if someone says they can't find anyone they can get along with that is a very, very red flag. You are not the special one. The past roommates weren't all shitty people. They were her past victims.
The book Beartown by Fredrik Backman really shows how this works, its a chilling book but really worth to read, however make sure you look up triggerwarnings if you're not sure if it can trigger you
All of this is all over the place and the more I read the actual suits filed, the more it shows that none of this is what it seems. There are full texts still coming out showing things in her lawsuit were not framed truthfully based on her and her team’s own text messages (including the allegations that he came in while she was dressing when he and a female producer, and a Sony rep were with them during that meeting that she invited them to her trailer). I need more people to wait for facts and read the legal documentation on these celebrity cases because this is a messy sort but it’s not as plain as he did this and she did that. This seems to go deeper than what either side’s people has said as Reynolds is named in the suit for whatever potential influence and connections to get Lively what she wanted (this is based on the editors and other crew who’s texts confirm she was overreaching and threatening their jobs). Her team has been trying to walk back the sexual harassment talking points on socials now and focusing more on his smear campaign vs what would be a more severe matter of the SA allegations. This is also because the evidential texts and more crew, past and present (because she somehow got ones she didn’t like fired which is NOT normal for someone who is not director), is coming out. I highly suggest people wait and see what actually happened because this entire situation stinks to high heaven all around (both her and his team). Please, don’t be used in yet another “smear campaign” to run with a notion that even she had said in past texts that she did not feel. There are also texts showing Baldoni did not know, per his team’s texts, that they could “bury anyone”. Let the proof come out in the documentation and in court because it’s a disservice to victims of abuse everywhere to just jump on what’s the norm. (I don’t follow Baldoni or Blake…I just prefer to go with facts when there’s clearly power and influence at play that Baldoni did not have the weight to pull.
I've seen the headlines of that Blake Lively story, but haven't clicked as I don't want my feed to be flooded with gossip news. Could someone tell me what's going on? Like in in one sentence?
Director claiming to support victims of abuse was gross and abusive himself on set to Blake on a movie about believing abuse victims, and then used a PR firm to get ahead of the story by turning her into a monster, manipulating social media into flying monkeys to silence her.
Excellent description but I would like to add that if it goes to court, one of the extremely unfortunate issues is that our laws are extremely outdated, as always falling much much much further behind the progressive cultural opinion so even if you think the person in front of you was SAed, they may not meet the criteria according to how the law is written. When I served jury duty, it was pressed upon us to look at the limited selection of charges (2) and pick from those two, which, ok fine, disagree but fine. I do believe the accused harmed the accuser, we all agreed that, just not in the way that met the ancient criteria. That day, justice was evaded on a technicality.
Unfortunately in this scenario, Blake IS NOT the victim. There’s a severe amount of context that should be considered in your analysis of this particular situation. The VICTIM had enough POWER to get the DIRECTOR AND PRODUCER of the film uninvited from the movie premiere? And the VICTIM got to EDIT the FINAL VERSION of the film put out to the public? Please be for real. Please be responsible in your commentary.
Okay, this is the comment after I've seen the video, and I have a question about the applicability of this narrative. What is the protocol for situations wherein the abuser isn't really in a position to worry for their reputation? What is the strategy if they are also reflecting on their behavior and trying to discern ways to become more knowledgeable about the boundaries of their victim and avoid such actions in the future? By definition, they have committed abuse and are abusers, but they aren't following the model of deflecting responsibility described here. Absent the social structures and influence present in celebrities, what is the on-the-ground protocol for engaging with an abuser who is abusing "less?"
If the perpetrator has taken the proper steps to realize the consequences of their behavior, then the perpetrator should cooperate with their victim(s) on the grounds the victim specifically sets, then do all they can to take responsibility on the victim's terms as well as being transparent and open about their behavior with any surrounding interlocuters so as to reduce the possibility of others victim blaming or spinning the narrative back on the victim. "Yes, I did this, and it's not the fault of her/him/them" Accountability to the self, to the victim, and to all others, in other words
I left a very long comment that got filtered, probably because of uncensored terms about domestic abuse and intimate partner violenc. Mostly it boiled down to most DV/IPV intervention therapy programs are not that much more effective than doing nothing and are most effective when the abuser willingly enters them. Actual behavior change, relinquishing control tactics and manipulation as well as actually not violating boundaries of their survivor are all good signs. Most advocates and professionals prioritize survivors safety and agency first and many interventions result in future abuse that results in arrest (the data is limited because most abuse does not actually result in arrest or is charged with more minor offenses and unreported abuse is not accounted by the legal system). The biggest positive sign i guess would be letting others know the truth outside of the relationship without manipulation. That's not common though people can play up the reformed act and engage in more covert abuse tactics. Science is really mixed on how to improve rehabilitation and data reporting is a mess. Last time i researched there was some success in approaching it as ideological deprogramming about beliefs about power and relationships in therapy. Some people also try restorative justice models though in my personal experience those lead to triangulation because most people aren't experts in abuse. Also a PSA experts advise against couples therapy since couples therapist often aren't trained in DV and ethically can't work with abusers in couples therapy. Often when they do the abuser triangulates the therapist against the victim. That's common because couples therapist focus on collaboration and well abuse is always the abusers problem not a couples problem. Also is vulnerable to using mental health as a smokescreen for abuse ( it's because I'm depressed, I can't help myself, if you could just help me with my anger etc). Mental health contextualizes abuse and does not cause it.
What the abuser should do is leave the victim alone and go to therapy to get professional help to identify causes of the abusive behaviour and learn how to replace them with healthy behaviours. The abuser is not required for the victim to recover, and as such the boundaries the victims sets should be treated as sacrosanct. If the abuser has done any damages that can be "fixed" with monetary help then that might be something for the victim to consider pursuing, but that's also only the victim's choice. If the victim wishes to cut all contact with the abuser then that, obviously, should also be honored unquestioningly. Also what might be relevant to note here is that reforming abusers like that is hard. The victim will already have pushed back against it previously and got ignored. And nobody starts claiming to be the victim over honest accidents. The abuse is generally a long standing pattern over months or years, and those things don't happen from people that are actually willing to take honest responsibility for their actions the moment the victim feels forced to go public as a last resort to get help.
Are we talking about sexual harassment or what type of abuse exactly? If the victim communicates boundaries either verbally or by body language (e.g. stop actively engaging, turn away or create physical distance, push hands away etc.) you immediately respect those boundaries and don't question or challenge them. I don't know what you mean by 'becoming knowledgeable about the victim's boundaries', most often they are communicated one way or another. You just have to be attentive and respectful and then it's not difficult to spot. When in doubt, err on the safe side and don't do the behavior. If there is a power dynamic, sometimes victims don't feel safe clearly communicating boundaries out of fear of retaliation, so in power dynamics of any kind it's the perpetrator's responsibility to not abuse that power and to just never start anything weird. About the perpetrator doing some internal work: the person should reflect if their abusive behavior is rooted in abuse they themselves endured in the past and thus normalized, or whether they have absorbed harmful stereotypes from pop culture, certain media like e.g. 'masculinity' podcasts, or people around them (e.g. entitlement and dismissiveness against women, or certain wrong beliefs/stereotypes about what behaviors are supposedly 'natural' for women). Then question and if necessary cut out the harmful influences, and maybe look for new influences and different content to consume (e.g. from victims' perspectives or marginalized perspectives in general). Don't know if that is the type of advice you were after, I hope it helps regardless.
@Mark73 truly false accusations in this field, of abuse and mistreatment of women, are not the prevailing cause of male incarceration. That's a scare tactic used to deflect from the fact that our culture is broadly skewed towards defending the powerful taking advantage of the people around them.
What you are saying makes only sense on a situation where the abuse is already clear. For this specific event, it seems like Justin brought much more the facts, or how you say, focused more on the events like Blake straight up said that he was showing her pornography when it was just a lovely birth photo that made sense in the professional context. My question is, how then should someone who is innocent protect themselves from a lie if not by calling it a lie?
@@SnowLeopardForever The thing is, a lot of her points on her legal documents were just now disputed and new information is coming live. Nobody knows the whole picture yet, and probably never will. And the fact that her position is much more of power than his and the timing does play a part on the public opinion. But my question is not about this particular case, is in general, how should one respond when the accusations are a lie then, which the video doesn't seem to really consider.
Blake Lively didn't go to court to accuse him of sexual harassment. She asked the producers of the movie for certain protections on the set, including the hiring of an intimacy coordinator to create better boundaries on set. That's it. The lawsuit is about an alleged smear campaign against her by a PR firm to proactively make her less credible if more details about his behavior on set came out. The lawsuit is ongoing but it's worth noting that the hate campaign against Lively happened first.
I dont know anything about nor do I want to know anything about this particular celebrity showdown. I've sat through mediation where I was accused of a behavior, accepted my responsibility for that behavior, changed that behavior and then had to continue to endure that same behavior from my accuser, with no recourse from that same mediator. Based on my experience, I question some victim narratives.
@jujubesification my deal? I like this channel, I support Exp's values, and I think that there should be a space for guys to process the ways in which they are simultaneously complicit in and victimized by patriarchal power structures.
So I completely agree but I wonder about a context of Blake/Justin situation. I dont have an opinion, just watching how it develops but we know that Justin hired top crisis management whose job is to make him look innocent despite of if he's guilty or not. Im wondering if it's the tactics that they use that are of the abuser, making Justin look abusive himself while he's not to blame?
If you look at previous videos on this channel you will see that all the relevant evidence in this case was presented by Blake and Justin's evidence is just an attempt at a spin on said materials because he can't deny their validity. That should be one red flag for you. Second is the very fact he hired dedicated spin doctors, who ruined people's reputations with lies before. If you were a decent person, you simply wouldn't do that. If you were innocent or accountable, you wouldn't try and cause more harm.
@@Banobobos Thank you! Yeah I see what you mean but I still have this thought that he is mostly just correcting the accusations as well as trying to destroy her reputation. But actually the first red flag was how easy it was/is to immediately hate her or women in general where when its men I feel like people are bit more reserved. But I also try to keep myself from forming opinions because I believe in hearing victims until proven they lied as well as I still have a lot to learn in terms of catching toxic behaviors and such.
I agree. In this instance I feel like we need to bring class, status, and power into this. Lively has a lot of power, because of her class and status. I don't even know who Justin Baldoni is. There are stakes at play that will all eventually come out, as this movie has the rights to a money making sequel that Baldoni has and others want to take from him (Lively, Reynolds, & Sony). Manipulative people, especially ones in power, can weaponize harassment claims for some "bigger picture" and I want to see the who this actually ends with. Something that stood out to me from the get-go was the breastfeeding "accusation" as many fight for that to be normalized and for women to be able to feed their babies in public without harassment, so I would like to know for that accusation, were boundaries in place where he was aware of her want for privacy during breastfeeding? Follow up evidence seems to show that was not the case. I'd like to hear from stage hands, wardrobe, and all of the other people on set with less social power what was really going on during the filming.
@@ericawarren Funny, you never heard of this guy until he hired a PR firm to do a hit job on Lively. But it doesn't occur to you he might be exploiting the situation to bolster his own profile at the expense of someone with a bigger reputation.
You know you've lost all credibility when you are comparing every average Joe to some Hollywood Chad. It's almost as if modern women shouldn't bypass 99 good men because they have the hots for the bad boy type. You get what you choose.
@@dealswithnormiesallday 99% of men aren't good we all know the "nice" guy thing " I will only be nice with you if you give me what I want otherwise I won't" plus you seem like you don't know women and never had a gf or female friends and I'll tell you this most women that go for the ""bad"" guys are insecure and they think that's what they deserve and most of these bad guys are just manipulative men that appear to be good and also a lot of these type of men tend to look for the insecure ones because they are most easily to get.
@@dealswithnormiesallday and tbh if 99% of men where good things like the pelicot case, UK grape gangs, nth room, international MALE groups talking about how to grape or drug women, men doing these shit even to their mothers and sisters or junko furuta case and the list goes oooooon
From evaluating everything I've seen, I agree with you. I feel as though Lively used her power through her class and status to crush this guy who she thought was "just a nobody." It looks to me that this is about movie rights to the sequel, which is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Stuff didn't go her way, so she weaponized harassment claims to get what she wanted. This is my opinion from what I've seen, there's no way I'm reading all of the legal documents as I have a life, lol!
@@ericawarreninteresting thst you focus on who Blake is as a person and freely admit to not reviewing the details of the case. You're focusing on the accuser instead of the abuse, literally what the video is calling out
@@JoeJaJoeJoe " You're focusing on the accuser instead of the abuse, literally what the video is calling out"? but thats bullshit. its a meaningless phrase feminists invented to defend female abusers. enabling female abuse and entitlement is the actual point of feminism. its fair and valid to access the accuser. people like
This happened to me after I reported a former boss for relentlessly telling me all the nasty things he wanted to do to me. A married man, “good” father, and pillar of his community, he said I was the one came after me and shared private information that he knew about me to paint me as crazy and a liar. I lost mutual friends to him. It was tough at first but I soon realized that I didn’t need people like that in my inner circle.
Married men do it because they use their wives as shields to get away with it
woman like bad boys. u surprised married man is a bad person? lol.
That’s sexual harassment. That creep should have been fired, but it’s so common in schools or the work place for these nasty people to be protected and for their targets to be further harmed. I really hate that.
I am sorry to hear that😥
This is exactly what happened to Meg The Stallion. She was clearly shot and her abuser and his flying monkeys pivoted to her sexual past and friendships to prove she wasn’t worthy of protection. Additionally this also happens with victims who are from marginalized groups…particularly black victims. Thanks for this video.
And Megan Markle. Basically misogynoir, which is the first form of systemic discrimination.
You have to understand that the BC is all about BMW, so any time a BW is involved with one of them getting what they deserve, especially in the courts, there is outrage and protests to free the abuser and to harm the survivor. The BC hates BG/BW, and will literally do anything to protect BM.
All of the women I know who confided in me in telling me they were raped never did a thing about it. I remember one friend…all of us in her friend group tried to encourage her to prosecute her attacker but she just shut down and went quiet instead. The abusers know the odds are stacked against the victim and with abusing in mind will play up and plan situations with targeted victims and chosen methods that will confound the victim’s credibility if they decide to speak out. The abusers often get off on getting away with it and will continue to seek out victims. This is why it’s so important to speak out but the reality is without any solid proof, it just becomes he said/she said situation. One should report them anyway because a long trail of reports even without prosecution or a win for the case starts to say something about them.
How does a person prove they’ve been touched inappropriately by someone?
"Report anyway because then there's a paper trail" was my philosophy in reporting my attacker. In my case, the police were absolute rockstars and I have no complaints whatsoever about how they treated me or handled the case, but the detective and I discussed it and agreed that with minimal injury and my word against his, a conviction would be so unlikely it wouldn't be worth going to trial. I didn't disagree at all. I was just happy to have the incident recorded by them and to receive proper medical care. But boy, the police's handling of things made all the difference for me. I felt validated and believed by every single officer and medical professional I interacted with, and that in itself was probably the most important thing for recovering.
@@Ad1nfernum That is really amazing. I am so sorry you had to go through that, but so happy that you had the proper care from the police and detective. I hope this becomes the norm not the exception for all survivors. I too had a good interaction with the authorities from my attack, but I was 10 so they thankfully believed me and caught the person. I also had tremendous support from my parents, so grateful for that as well, because so many do not.
This is exactly what Baldoni is doing.
Like, who cares is Lively is a mean girl? Sexually harassing a mean girl is still sexual harassment.
Don't forget the "false accusations".
I have had that one keep me silent on my abuser (who went on to hurt others and got caught), but also I've seen it used to keep victims of -isms down. Particularly racism and ableism.
Well done. This helped me articulate my own thoughts. I'm dealing with an ex that has made false allegations against me with DCS and police (after our separation). It continued even after divorce. You described exactly his tactics and my response. It's hard for me to see patterns in all the chaos. Thank you!!!
Yes hard to see the trees when you’re in the forest…hope things ease up for you
I told my support system and basically just cut and leave because I knew this would happen to me if I went more public about it. Years after I left had a ex friend reach out to catch up and the moment i said, "sure that'd be nice. Just don't talk to me about my ex or share personal details about me to him or I'll have to cut off contact." He left me in read til this day 😂 so that answered that
"Rejection is protection." 💪🏻
men dont even have support system, why u complaining lmao.
This is very true. I haven't spoken up about mine because I absolutely know nobody will believe me. Only my spouse has ever believed me. I've resigned myself to accepting that most people don't get justice or closure, so at least I'm not alone in that.
I've often been told I should be a lawyer because I point out things I think are obvious, yet those around me say, "I never thought of it that way." But, man, you got me beat! Just like that Springfield, OH, resident who took MAGA down at a city meeting, citing all the facts about all the economic growth the Haitian immigrants brought to their city.
Really wild and a bit sad how many examples came to mind as you spelled this out.
So sad for Amber Heard. The entire country turned into the men who were prosecuted in the movie The Accused. It was so sick and disturbing.
Yeah, I had an ex do exactly this. Fortunately, one of our mutual friends saw through her bullshit and pointed it out to everyone else, so it stopped before the dogpiling could really get going. We’ve still chosen to distance ourselves from those friends, who refused to believe me but believed her when she said the exact same stuff I did.
It's wild because this literally happened to Meghan Markle for years. As you're explaining it, my brain is remembering all the 'flying monkeys' of the British media attacking her. Still attacking her.
The British tabloids are the scummiest of the scummiest. And those Brits who are still obsessed with Diana are pathetic.
@@nix2747 no but fr
Haven't they literally just started talking about her again?
For...
Working?
Like, having a netflix show?
Like this will follow her for the rest of her life, and what did she do?
Yes, and I still cannot get over how absurd it is. Everyone was treating a literal PRINCE like a child and said he was being “manipulated by an evil gold digging ab-ser”. Dude, he grew up megarich and megapowerful. He can leave whenever he wants and 99% of the world would rally behind him because she’s black. Maybe, just maybe, he faced far more ab-se from his megarich and megapowerful family. And in interviews, neither of them have ever named names of who was racist; they only called out the ab-se, as said in this video. I believe Harry later was a bit more specific in his book, but I haven’t read it, so I can’t speak on that too much.
I also think it’s funny that they said he would leave her within a year and uh... he definitely didn’t 😂
I just wrote the same! Her BIGGEST HATERS are old European Karen’s, and Pierce of course 😂.
no, its not crazy, she is a psychopath, just not a victim simply because she is a woman. humans who happen to be women can happen to be bad people to
It's like he's describing Johnny Depp. Baldoni took a page from Depp book.
I have an older sister who is abusive. It got to the point where my mother called the police on her, and this is exactly what she has gone on to do. It is absolutely soul-crushing when this happens.
My ex didn’t paint me as a horrible person. He painted me as weak and emotionally unstable. It is just as damaging.
I just wanted to put that out there because it’s another tactic used by abusers. They keep you off your feet and then use your continued instability (that they caused) as an example of your poor mental health. It’s akin to causing reactive abuse. Push you to a meltdown and then call you crazy.
Superb analysis. I've been through this myself and the flying monkeys were nasty.
It always makes me wonder why flying monkeys get involved.
People always talk about abusers but I'm curious too about whether flying monkeys enjoy abusing too.
@@fluffylegs8598 people are known to leap at the chance to act cruel to acceptable targets. The flying monkeys justify their cruelty with righteous indignation, and revel in causing pain to those they think deserve it.
In my experience, each flying monkey has their own motivation. Some are ambitious and use the situation to move up the ladder. Some are weak, emotionally and intellectually. Some come from a mindset that doesn’t recognize right and wrong, but only who has more power.
And yes, in my experience, some are just waiting for the opportunity to unleash their own sadism.
Some use it as excuse to hurt, some do believe that victim is guilty one and abuser is victim.
Sounds like DARVO.
My parents and my aunt and uncle did this to me when I tried to report my dad for s*xual @assault and @buse when I was 13, it’s messed me up quite a lot over the years and I feel isolated. The funny thing is when the actual truth came out the same aunt and uncle that never listened to me actually protected my little siblings and made the cps report when I was 18 already so it was too late for me but at least she helped the younger ones. But they never apologized for protecting my dad. I feel like I am just collateral damage. My dad got away with everything because the extended family protected him too before they realized the truth and I felt triangulated and judged my whole childhood and deemed an attention hungry child by my parents and aunt and uncle so they set me up to not be believed by anyone. It was when other siblings spoke up too finally that there was help. But still no one cares about what they put me through it feels like, and my aunt got paid very well to foster my younger siblings which I feel was her motivation. I feel like I have no family or parents
@@Anon06428 that is so terrible, I feel for you!!! Some people don't deserve their children! Society shall always trust to a child's story - until fat well proved wrong. And if child says something like that, and one ignores it as a FAMILY member... That's the worst betrayer and as*hole in denial around! So sorry to hear what you had to go through 💔
Children are in an interestingly unenviable position of having to build up the same level of social capital and influence as adults who have already built strong social bonds. Despite being rightful additions to a family, they're outsiders the moment they become disruptive elements.
“Do you condemn Hamas. They die so much because they are using human shields. ” - it’s the same thing.
While the accusing side is the one who actually uses said human shields.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK!!!
Are you saying they are not actually using human shields? Do
You have evidence of this?
@@christian1172-z9e Are u saying u have evidence that they are using them?
Hamas is terrorist organization that wants Israel to burn. They want them gone and teaches their human shields to be proud of dying for their cause.
They put weapons in schools and hospitals intentionally to be able to get them to bomb them so they can go look how evil the Jews are.
And people believe the terrorists. Because despite Israel being held to a ridiculously high standard and meeting it time and time again the world hates Jews.
10 years or so from now, we're gonna look back at the Amber Heard trial very differently and feel ashamed.
Oh, god. I hate remembering this. That poor woman. Having a panic attack on the stand while discussing her r-pe and the snake oil salesmen on YT who call themselves ““body language experts”” claiming she was lying because she SHOWED SIGNS OF STRESS. These rats have had such easy lives, rich little white boys praising men and taking down women with their pseudo-science body language that is just as effective as crystal healing and talking to ghosts. It pisses me off so much still.
@@robinronin she showed sign of stress cuz she was lying. when person states truth, there is no distress
Speak for yourself, I always believed her 🤷 and I thought a lot of y'all were hashtag treating domestic abuse like a spectator sport (also the comment above me is coming from a schmuck lmfao)
@@QWERTY-gp8fd God I wish that was true, it would make it so much easier to discern who lies and who truths. Did you listen to anything this dude in the video said?
He hired a firm to flood the net with lies and memes about Heard amongst other things he did. The “Amber Heard Makeup Kit” was especially disgusting. A kit where you make yourself up with a beaten face. The Guardian went into details about it.
I only talked about it with my brothers when my abuser was dying.
I'm so sorry.
So...Johnny Depp then?
This described my family dynamic to this day, in a nutshell. I lost all of them because (as a child and a young adult!) I tended to react to the abuse with anger, indignation, lashing out when it all got too much, or straight up disassociation. I tried to set firm boundaries (with the help of years and years of therapy) with my primary abuser in the family, and after only a year or so they reacted by calling me the abuser and cutting me out of their life, using their children as a means to make the rest of the family her flying monkeys because I was somehow the one causing the trouble for family gatherings. I have strained relationships with all of them, though an entirely separate (but uneasy) relationship with my parents
To this day they think my attitude was the problem, and after a decade they’ve somehow made it that my abuser and I are ‘as bad as each other’ because I refuse to apologise for the umpteenth time for something I never did. Yielding never helped, why would it help now?
I don’t think any of my siblings knows much about me past the age of 11
Exactly!
And NOW Baldoni has the media and people focusing on how Lively was mean a few times in her life to others which has NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS HARASSMENT OF HER. I saw EXACTLY what he has been doing and was NEVER fooled by what he is trying to do BUT I noticed others are fooled. It’s sad.😢
FYI: JB IS using DARVO.
He IS at the ‘ARVO’ stages of it.
It’s very clear he is.
@@SnowLeopardForever I agree but this case is a little different in that they are not just now discussing her behavior, her behavior was the topic and center of the alleged smear campaign. So it's intertwined in her claim of retaliation but is not related to any harassment she may have endured
@@LoveSierraAnastasia
JB and his team are NOW trying to frame it as BL was being a bully to him like she was to a few other WOMEN.
That IS a red flag.
It’s VERY CLEAR that JB IS NOW at the ‘ARVO’ stages of DARVO.
Look DARVO up and you will see what I mean.
Very clear to the attentive.
Plenty of inattentive people to use
👏👏👏 that last sentence sums it up perfectly - an abused who spends all of their time avoiding talking about the abuse and only talking about their accuser doesn't want to empower victims - they want to silence them."
Reminds me of what Johnny Depp did to Amber Heard.
he didnt do anything, he is the victim, amber heard is the abuser
@@michelleY145 shush. johnny depp is weak man, amber heard is B word. man cannot be victim when he is too weak. its his fault for it.
I couldn't do the deep dive necessary to have a confident opinion on the truth of that case. I just knew that public opinion would decide that Depp had more credibility than Heard - because he's popular, because he's a good actor, because he's a man. Not for any reason having to do with what the truth was.
Amber lied.
@@emilydivis6369 being a man means you have LESS credibility when accused of domestic violence. men are even blamed for defending themselves. the evidence was against heard- how do you explain the pictures of depp's sliced figure? the audio tapes of her admitting to hitting him?
Yes. People are SO fast to protect an abuser and to insult a victim. :-( why are people like this? I remenber the case around Til Lindemann and so many peole portraied the old millionair with power to be the victim and the young women with no power and money as the bad peole who want to ruin his career - even though this whole scandal made him even richer.
Because abusers have charm and charisma. Its the only trait they deem worth developing.
Whenever I meet someone who easily gets people to listen I watch for signs. Sometimes its a good person sharing wisdom, but more often its a person feeding on attention, manipulating everyone
"People" aren't like this. The abuser has crafted and manipulated the "resources" around them. The abuser is the entire cause.
It's like saying, "why do people just give away their money to thieves??" The people aren't to blame. The thieves entirely are to blame.
@@kikijewell2967 both sides are to blame. thats how world works. if u flash food around starving person, its ur fault for provoking him.
@@kikijewell2967 while people have lowered ability to understand situation thanks to manipulation of abuser, they don’t lose responsibility for their actions; after all, with freedom comes responsibility.
DARVO refers to a reaction perpetrators of wrong doing, particularly sexual offenders, may display *in response to being held accountable for their behavior*. DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender." The perpetrator or offender may Deny the behavior, Attack the individual doing the confronting, and Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender such that the perpetrator assumes the victim role and turns the true victim -- or the whistle blower -- into an alleged offender.
There's plenty of people happy to be the flying monkeys...
Suggestion: Take a step back and apply this Abusive Relationship circumstance with the Black experience in America.
I'm not entirely sure that's his wheelhouse. We've got other youtubers for that
"Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?" This was great. Succint, and got the point across. Sharing with others who need to hear this.
This has happened to me enough to know I’m good being single
Beautifully worded. Thank you so much for making this!
Damn, this makes so much sense
Silence is basically taught to us as being the better person. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY when someone is being harassed and bullied or objectified and peoples advice is just ignore them/block them and move on. Dont say anything. Dont stand up for yourself. Be an adult. Dont be petty. Work on you and getting over it, dont let them consume your whole life, dont let them have power over you.
Its amazing how much stupid useless advice people give as an outsider, that allow the people who are hurting someone else or being disgusting, to just move on to the next person, because the only way to be an adult in these situations is to keep quiet, dont let it bother you, be completely solid in your own self confidence, and always just be a better person. Yeah that will show em.
I had this happen with a roommate once. We started as acquaintances then as soon as I moved in things went down hill. She did the silent treatment for months. I moved out. Found out later from a mutual that this person had been trash talking me behind my back since the first day I moved in. Apparently she has done the same thing to like four other people. I learned a valuable lesson that if someone says they can't find anyone they can get along with that is a very, very red flag. You are not the special one. The past roommates weren't all shitty people. They were her past victims.
What a brilliant breakdown. Thank you
The book Beartown by Fredrik Backman really shows how this works, its a chilling book but really worth to read, however make sure you look up triggerwarnings if you're not sure if it can trigger you
Oh look, it's my mom! 😢
All of this is all over the place and the more I read the actual suits filed, the more it shows that none of this is what it seems. There are full texts still coming out showing things in her lawsuit were not framed truthfully based on her and her team’s own text messages (including the allegations that he came in while she was dressing when he and a female producer, and a Sony rep were with them during that meeting that she invited them to her trailer).
I need more people to wait for facts and read the legal documentation on these celebrity cases because this is a messy sort but it’s not as plain as he did this and she did that. This seems to go deeper than what either side’s people has said as Reynolds is named in the suit for whatever potential influence and connections to get Lively what she wanted (this is based on the editors and other crew who’s texts confirm she was overreaching and threatening their jobs). Her team has been trying to walk back the sexual harassment talking points on socials now and focusing more on his smear campaign vs what would be a more severe matter of the SA allegations. This is also because the evidential texts and more crew, past and present (because she somehow got ones she didn’t like fired which is NOT normal for someone who is not director), is coming out.
I highly suggest people wait and see what actually happened because this entire situation stinks to high heaven all around (both her and his team). Please, don’t be used in yet another “smear campaign” to run with a notion that even she had said in past texts that she did not feel. There are also texts showing Baldoni did not know, per his team’s texts, that they could “bury anyone”. Let the proof come out in the documentation and in court because it’s a disservice to victims of abuse everywhere to just jump on what’s the norm. (I don’t follow Baldoni or Blake…I just prefer to go with facts when there’s clearly power and influence at play that Baldoni did not have the weight to pull.
This is why I still believe Blake Lively.
Thank you.
I’m listening I swear! But where did you get those prints behind you!? So cool!
Excellent video
I've seen the headlines of that Blake Lively story, but haven't clicked as I don't want my feed to be flooded with gossip news. Could someone tell me what's going on? Like in in one sentence?
Director claiming to support victims of abuse was gross and abusive himself on set to Blake on a movie about believing abuse victims, and then used a PR firm to get ahead of the story by turning her into a monster, manipulating social media into flying monkeys to silence her.
@AoiLucine Ahh, thank you.
Excellent description but I would like to add that if it goes to court, one of the extremely unfortunate issues is that our laws are extremely outdated, as always falling much much much further behind the progressive cultural opinion so even if you think the person in front of you was SAed, they may not meet the criteria according to how the law is written. When I served jury duty, it was pressed upon us to look at the limited selection of charges (2) and pick from those two, which, ok fine, disagree but fine. I do believe the accused harmed the accuser, we all agreed that, just not in the way that met the ancient criteria.
That day, justice was evaded on a technicality.
Sounds like Russia.
ohmygod...
Unfortunately in this scenario, Blake IS NOT the victim. There’s a severe amount of context that should be considered in your analysis of this particular situation. The VICTIM had enough POWER to get the DIRECTOR AND PRODUCER of the film uninvited from the movie premiere? And the VICTIM got to EDIT the FINAL VERSION of the film put out to the public? Please be for real. Please be responsible in your commentary.
Okay, this is the comment after I've seen the video, and I have a question about the applicability of this narrative.
What is the protocol for situations wherein the abuser isn't really in a position to worry for their reputation? What is the strategy if they are also reflecting on their behavior and trying to discern ways to become more knowledgeable about the boundaries of their victim and avoid such actions in the future? By definition, they have committed abuse and are abusers, but they aren't following the model of deflecting responsibility described here. Absent the social structures and influence present in celebrities, what is the on-the-ground protocol for engaging with an abuser who is abusing "less?"
If the perpetrator has taken the proper steps to realize the consequences of their behavior, then the perpetrator should cooperate with their victim(s) on the grounds the victim specifically sets, then do all they can to take responsibility on the victim's terms as well as being transparent and open about their behavior with any surrounding interlocuters so as to reduce the possibility of others victim blaming or spinning the narrative back on the victim. "Yes, I did this, and it's not the fault of her/him/them" Accountability to the self, to the victim, and to all others, in other words
@joem.8555 this is incredibly useful, actually, thanks.
I left a very long comment that got filtered, probably because of uncensored terms about domestic abuse and intimate partner violenc. Mostly it boiled down to most DV/IPV intervention therapy programs are not that much more effective than doing nothing and are most effective when the abuser willingly enters them. Actual behavior change, relinquishing control tactics and manipulation as well as actually not violating boundaries of their survivor are all good signs. Most advocates and professionals prioritize survivors safety and agency first and many interventions result in future abuse that results in arrest (the data is limited because most abuse does not actually result in arrest or is charged with more minor offenses and unreported abuse is not accounted by the legal system). The biggest positive sign i guess would be letting others know the truth outside of the relationship without manipulation. That's not common though people can play up the reformed act and engage in more covert abuse tactics.
Science is really mixed on how to improve rehabilitation and data reporting is a mess. Last time i researched there was some success in approaching it as ideological deprogramming about beliefs about power and relationships in therapy. Some people also try restorative justice models though in my personal experience those lead to triangulation because most people aren't experts in abuse. Also a PSA experts advise against couples therapy since couples therapist often aren't trained in DV and ethically can't work with abusers in couples therapy. Often when they do the abuser triangulates the therapist against the victim. That's common because couples therapist focus on collaboration and well abuse is always the abusers problem not a couples problem. Also is vulnerable to using mental health as a smokescreen for abuse ( it's because I'm depressed, I can't help myself, if you could just help me with my anger etc). Mental health contextualizes abuse and does not cause it.
What the abuser should do is leave the victim alone and go to therapy to get professional help to identify causes of the abusive behaviour and learn how to replace them with healthy behaviours.
The abuser is not required for the victim to recover, and as such the boundaries the victims sets should be treated as sacrosanct. If the abuser has done any damages that can be "fixed" with monetary help then that might be something for the victim to consider pursuing, but that's also only the victim's choice.
If the victim wishes to cut all contact with the abuser then that, obviously, should also be honored unquestioningly.
Also what might be relevant to note here is that reforming abusers like that is hard. The victim will already have pushed back against it previously and got ignored. And nobody starts claiming to be the victim over honest accidents. The abuse is generally a long standing pattern over months or years, and those things don't happen from people that are actually willing to take honest responsibility for their actions the moment the victim feels forced to go public as a last resort to get help.
Are we talking about sexual harassment or what type of abuse exactly?
If the victim communicates boundaries either verbally or by body language (e.g. stop actively engaging, turn away or create physical distance, push hands away etc.) you immediately respect those boundaries and don't question or challenge them. I don't know what you mean by 'becoming knowledgeable about the victim's boundaries', most often they are communicated one way or another. You just have to be attentive and respectful and then it's not difficult to spot. When in doubt, err on the safe side and don't do the behavior.
If there is a power dynamic, sometimes victims don't feel safe clearly communicating boundaries out of fear of retaliation, so in power dynamics of any kind it's the perpetrator's responsibility to not abuse that power and to just never start anything weird.
About the perpetrator doing some internal work: the person should reflect if their abusive behavior is rooted in abuse they themselves endured in the past and thus normalized, or whether they have absorbed harmful stereotypes from pop culture, certain media like e.g. 'masculinity' podcasts, or people around them (e.g. entitlement and dismissiveness against women, or certain wrong beliefs/stereotypes about what behaviors are supposedly 'natural' for women). Then question and if necessary cut out the harmful influences, and maybe look for new influences and different content to consume (e.g. from victims' perspectives or marginalized perspectives in general).
Don't know if that is the type of advice you were after, I hope it helps regardless.
What if the accuser is just flat out lying?
Then it'll bear out in examining the situation
@@zacharybosley1935 Are you sure? How many men have gone to prison or otherwise had their lives destroyed based on a false accusation?
@Mark73 truly false accusations in this field, of abuse and mistreatment of women, are not the prevailing cause of male incarceration. That's a scare tactic used to deflect from the fact that our culture is broadly skewed towards defending the powerful taking advantage of the people around them.
What you are saying makes only sense on a situation where the abuse is already clear. For this specific event, it seems like Justin brought much more the facts, or how you say, focused more on the events like Blake straight up said that he was showing her pornography when it was just a lovely birth photo that made sense in the professional context. My question is, how then should someone who is innocent protect themselves from a lie if not by calling it a lie?
Have you read her legal documents???
You sound like you haven’t to have stated that. Read her legal documents.
@@SnowLeopardForever The thing is, a lot of her points on her legal documents were just now disputed and new information is coming live. Nobody knows the whole picture yet, and probably never will. And the fact that her position is much more of power than his and the timing does play a part on the public opinion. But my question is not about this particular case, is in general, how should one respond when the accusations are a lie then, which the video doesn't seem to really consider.
Blake Lively didn't go to court to accuse him of sexual harassment. She asked the producers of the movie for certain protections on the set, including the hiring of an intimacy coordinator to create better boundaries on set. That's it. The lawsuit is about an alleged smear campaign against her by a PR firm to proactively make her less credible if more details about his behavior on set came out.
The lawsuit is ongoing but it's worth noting that the hate campaign against Lively happened first.
I dont know anything about nor do I want to know anything about this particular celebrity showdown.
I've sat through mediation where I was accused of a behavior, accepted my responsibility for that behavior, changed that behavior and then had to continue to endure that same
behavior from my accuser, with no recourse from that same mediator.
Based on my experience, I question some victim narratives.
when are you going to address what blueorange22 is saying? he is totally debunking you
Here!
What's your deal anyway?
@jujubesification my deal? I like this channel, I support Exp's values, and I think that there should be a space for guys to process the ways in which they are simultaneously complicit in and victimized by patriarchal power structures.
So I completely agree but I wonder about a context of Blake/Justin situation. I dont have an opinion, just watching how it develops but we know that Justin hired top crisis management whose job is to make him look innocent despite of if he's guilty or not. Im wondering if it's the tactics that they use that are of the abuser, making Justin look abusive himself while he's not to blame?
If you look at previous videos on this channel you will see that all the relevant evidence in this case was presented by Blake and Justin's evidence is just an attempt at a spin on said materials because he can't deny their validity. That should be one red flag for you. Second is the very fact he hired dedicated spin doctors, who ruined people's reputations with lies before. If you were a decent person, you simply wouldn't do that. If you were innocent or accountable, you wouldn't try and cause more harm.
@@Banobobos Thank you! Yeah I see what you mean but I still have this thought that he is mostly just correcting the accusations as well as trying to destroy her reputation. But actually the first red flag was how easy it was/is to immediately hate her or women in general where when its men I feel like people are bit more reserved. But I also try to keep myself from forming opinions because I believe in hearing victims until proven they lied as well as I still have a lot to learn in terms of catching toxic behaviors and such.
If he were interested in correcting the accusations he would be engaging directly with the accuser, and not with the crowd through a hired PR team.
I agree. In this instance I feel like we need to bring class, status, and power into this. Lively has a lot of power, because of her class and status. I don't even know who Justin Baldoni is. There are stakes at play that will all eventually come out, as this movie has the rights to a money making sequel that Baldoni has and others want to take from him (Lively, Reynolds, & Sony). Manipulative people, especially ones in power, can weaponize harassment claims for some "bigger picture" and I want to see the who this actually ends with. Something that stood out to me from the get-go was the breastfeeding "accusation" as many fight for that to be normalized and for women to be able to feed their babies in public without harassment, so I would like to know for that accusation, were boundaries in place where he was aware of her want for privacy during breastfeeding? Follow up evidence seems to show that was not the case. I'd like to hear from stage hands, wardrobe, and all of the other people on set with less social power what was really going on during the filming.
@@ericawarren Funny, you never heard of this guy until he hired a PR firm to do a hit job on Lively. But it doesn't occur to you he might be exploiting the situation to bolster his own profile at the expense of someone with a bigger reputation.
You know you've lost all credibility when you are comparing every average Joe to some Hollywood Chad. It's almost as if modern women shouldn't bypass 99 good men because they have the hots for the bad boy type. You get what you choose.
@@dealswithnormiesallday 99% of men aren't good we all know the "nice" guy thing " I will only be nice with you if you give me what I want otherwise I won't" plus you seem like you don't know women and never had a gf or female friends and I'll tell you this most women that go for the ""bad"" guys are insecure and they think that's what they deserve and most of these bad guys are just manipulative men that appear to be good and also a lot of these type of men tend to look for the insecure ones because they are most easily to get.
@@dealswithnormiesallday and tbh if 99% of men where good things like the pelicot case, UK grape gangs, nth room, international MALE groups talking about how to grape or drug women, men doing these shit even to their mothers and sisters or junko furuta case and the list goes oooooon
@@dealswithnormiesallday and btw you are not a good type if women really choose the bad guys incels like you wouldn't exist just saying
Your logic is sound, but you’ve got your victim and offender backwards.
From evaluating everything I've seen, I agree with you. I feel as though Lively used her power through her class and status to crush this guy who she thought was "just a nobody." It looks to me that this is about movie rights to the sequel, which is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Stuff didn't go her way, so she weaponized harassment claims to get what she wanted. This is my opinion from what I've seen, there's no way I'm reading all of the legal documents as I have a life, lol!
@@ericawarreninteresting thst you focus on who Blake is as a person and freely admit to not reviewing the details of the case. You're focusing on the accuser instead of the abuse, literally what the video is calling out
@@JoeJaJoeJoe " You're focusing on the accuser instead of the abuse, literally what the video is calling out"?
but thats bullshit. its a meaningless phrase feminists invented to defend female abusers. enabling female abuse and entitlement is the actual point of feminism.
its fair and valid to access the accuser. people like
@@JoeJaJoeJoe100%
Thank you.