Yes but the child is mine and will eventually become a semi functioning member of society. Facecat at is asshole with human vocal cords. At keast hand dang will be a challenge to destroy and give a sense of barbaric conquest.
You know how dogs mimic people and their mannerisms? Just imagine being asleep and hearing the bedroom creak door open and the soft plaps of your dog's hands and then the gentle petting and stroking of your head and face. On the inverse imagine falling asleep and waking up at 3am for some reason and rolling over to have human face cat bug-eyed staring at you inches from your face.
I feel like they missed a very important point...what breed is the dog and does that affect the hands of the dog? Is it a great dane with a seasoned construction worker hands? What if it's a tiny weenier dog with baby hands?
The suggestion that the cat can only say 'hey' is perhaps the most horrific part of this whole thing. It's 2:21 A.M., and you're waking from a dead sleep. Why? You lift your head a bit, sighing and looking around the room... and then, from the depths of your subconscious awareness crowns a sound: the gentle raking of claws against the foot of your door. Sssk ssk, ssk ssssk... "Hey." Ssk ssk, "Hey." Ssk sssk, "Hey." You stare at your door, eyes wide. The calm but stern voice echoes off the walls of the hallway outside your room. It demands your attention. You get up, and slowly walk over to open the door. A foot off the ground, the face of Joe Pantoliano greets you, eyes catching what little light is around like vacant glass. The emotions of a cat, read from the face of a man, whose stark voice bids you feed him now. Congratulations on your new face cat. Living alone, that low yet commanding "Hey" sometimes pierces the silence of your home, and it never ceases to startle you. The voice is subtly different each and every time.
OK but the questions they don’t ask are: does hand dog have human elbow/shoulder articulation, and does face cat have a human brain? Because Justin made a good point that hand dog probably still has a dog brain and doesn’t want to shoot you with a gun. And like, hand dog is disquieting, but if it can only move its legs in the way dog legs move it’s sort of useless even with human hands. And where do we cut off hands? Does it have human wrists? Are teeth a part of the face? Does face cat have human teeth or cat teeth? Are they human teeth but sized for a cat?
the biggest factor in hand dog is the size of the dog, because my medium sized dog can reach the top of the counter with his paws, which means he is the perfect size to steal cheese from the fridge like he's always wanted to. A cat with a human face is a modified Sphinx
If hand-dog commits a crime with this gun they mentioned, what do they do? If it the owners fault? Are it's finger prints unique? Is it tried as a human? Can you put hand-dogs prints on a weapon, commit a crime with gloves on, and never be caught because no one would print a dog? So many questions.
Dogs with opposable thumbs is a disaster waiting to happen, the objective best choice is Face Cat, as horrible as that is, except in my case i'm alergic to the bastards, so i'm in a real conundrum.
I was just pointed towards a short animated horror film called " The Cat with Hands," and while I was creeped out by that one on its own merits, it also made me think of this bit.
instead of a mean lookin hound barking and snarling, hand dog could just stare at you and crack his knuckles to intimidate you, and thats quieter so its not as bad for everybody!!
Why does Travis have his cat's food bowl in the bathroom? That's weird right? It's not a normal thing cat owners do that I've never heard before right?
For me this hinges entirely on what facecat's face actually looks like. Is it a cute face? Is it an ugly face? Is it the face of someone I know? Does the face age as the cat gets older?
Hands Dog is the clear choice. First off, it 100% has 4 hands. The prompt clearly says "instead of paws." Do dogs have 2 paws or 4? Exactly Secondly. Does your dog currently try to kill you? No? Then adding hands would not chanhe that, so no worries there And my final and irrefutable point: imagine if you will, a golden retriever or a labrador with human hands, that would be so much goddamn fun.
Y'all remember that monster from A:TLA that changed faces? The quietly upsetting uncanny-valley nature of that scene is what I imagine would spark within me were I to see it in my dark house
Face cat can't speak. It does not make sense for face cat to be able to speak, because otherwise the question isn't "do you want a cat with a human face" it's do you want a man trapped inside the body of a cat.
But wouldn't having a human face give it the physicality needed to enunciate human speech? Does the human face include a human tongue? If you combine that with a cat's ability to understand a limited human vocabulary, then at the very least it would be capable of parroting words back to us.
I don't think your cat is sat there trying to say "HAMBURGER" or whatever and being foiled by a head and tongue that can only render the word as 'meow'.
Facecat may be able to get a passport but handdog will be able to get a handicap sticker by using sign language, so I can park anywhere it wants because it does drive a car
I’m trying to picture any positives about either of these. Face cat I just I don’t want a human face watching me in the dark and then purring and acting like a cat but with a human face. But then hand dog would make slapping sounds when he walks on tile floors, would touch me with his human hands while he’s trying to say idk jump on me like dogs do when there excited, or doing anything with their human hands
ok first of all even assuming you could put mittens on the hand dog it could for sure just take them off. second of all does face cat age like a human? like would 15 year old face cat have the face of an elderly person.
Since a child I thought it would be cool if dogs had hands. I mean think about it. They have unlimited energy and are happy to help their owners in any way possible. Imagine all the chores they can get done
Dog with human hands would be funny, though. Like those videos where the dogs are sitting at a table wearing clothes and there's people under the table or whatever to make it look like the dogs have human hands?? Those videos are cute; this is a no-brainer.
See, while I feel like Hand Dog is viscerally more upsetting and Face Cat could be a good companion, Face Cat also can't Cat properly, since, with a human face, mouth, and thus tongue, it can't clean itself. Hand Dog's hand issues are much more adaptable in letting it do normal dog behavior like running than Face Cat being unable to groom or use whiskers for proprioceptive input. Like, you'll have to be careful with Hand Dog's hands, sure, but you will have to treat Face Cat like a cat with no whiskers who can't groom itself, which seems way harder and way more likely to end in neglect and suffering for Face Cat.
The no whiskers thing might cause some issues but it's already a thing that as cats get older they just kinda stop grooming themselves. That's fine, I can brush face cat and I guess wash its little human face every so often. That's normal. Hand dog? Hand dog's human hands slapping against the floor? NOPE.
I'd much rather have a dog with human hands than a cat with a human face. I mean, 1) it's still a dog, it can just hold things. Imagine how useful that would be if properly trained. 2) it's not that different from having a monkey that's much more obedient. 3) I think meme culture has already shown us how terrifying a cat with a human face can be. Plus, if it can talk, I mean I guess that'd be sorta neat, but I think then we'd have to really consider the rights of an animal that can tell us exactly what it wants and how it feels. Not that I think that's a bad thing, but I think some people aren't thinking of that.
Both present HORRIBLE problems for me. One: Cats use their faces for all manner of nasty business. Two: they keep strange hours so imagine waking up one night to have a stranger with a cat body staring at you. Three: would it still have a cat-level intellect or would it have a human-level intellect because at that point it wouldn't matter if it had a cat body it would now be a serial killer. The only problem I can see with human-handed dogs is that, as the boys already mentioned, it would get into everything and there is no way you could dog-proof the house if the dog in question had human hands. If I had to choose I would choose the dog on the virtue that it still retains its dog brain, its just trickier. Also, teach it to do massages and then you've got an in-home masseuse.
griffin bitterly saying that travis and justin are gonna die from hand-dog because he lost the vote is huge babyest sibling energy
as soon as hand dog walks across a tile floor it will break my psyche in the most fundamental way
I'm sorry for laughing so hard at this 😂
*slap slap slap*
Do not take it into a public bathroom.
is it human hands with fur on it? no nails?
My brain stem would snap in half as an act of mercy if I were you in that situation
So, to sum up: Face Cat wants to kill you, but can’t; Hand Dog doesn’t want to kill you, but could.
That's just cats and dogs
the boys just kinda reinvent cats the musical and it's horrible sequel dogs the musical
They already remade dogs in Spore on Monster Factory.
nah they just invented raccoons
Thinking of either of these options touching me make me cry
Aw I'm sorry
LOL
I can’t handle the idea of a small creature with a human face wandering around my house at night.
what about a child
That is precisely why I don’t want kids
Yes but the child is mine and will eventually become a semi functioning member of society. Facecat at is asshole with human vocal cords. At keast hand dang will be a challenge to destroy and give a sense of barbaric conquest.
Cats (2019) or furry
One already does, you just haven't noticed yet
facecat but it talks BUT all it says is "meow" in a human voice
I'm hearing it in the voice of Katz from Courage the Cowardly Dog
i think it would be worse if it had a cat's voice
Isn't hand-dog basically just a raccoon?
my GOD you're onto something there!
A good goblin
I was thinking a monkey, but yeah raccoon or raccoon-dog are similar in terribleness.
Raccoons are more like hand cats. Mischievous, very smart but very weird
Exactly!
Why does Griffin immediately assume hand dog has a desire to kill him?
Right? I think a dog would be super thankful for hands. Like, thing of all the cool shit that dog can do now.
He has probably read frankenstein
having anxiety is just like that
i thought that a dog would be like lenny from of mice and men. the dog wouldnt MEAN to kill you, it just does
Past crimes
But face cat already exists, in all those medieval paintings
You know how dogs mimic people and their mannerisms? Just imagine being asleep and hearing the bedroom creak door open and the soft plaps of your dog's hands and then the gentle petting and stroking of your head and face. On the inverse imagine falling asleep and waking up at 3am for some reason and rolling over to have human face cat bug-eyed staring at you inches from your face.
No ThAnK yOu
thanks i hate it
With the cat's face and dog's hands, they could get in a trench coat and see an r rated movie together
This is honestly just the Garfield Monstrosity: Redux
Every so often, we’re doomed to recreating the Garfield Monstrosity...
“I already have two faces that depend on me, I don’t think I need a third”
*Cooper has entered the chat*
the funny thing is that face cat appears in what we do in the shadows and hand dog is in bride of reanimator
Griffin forgetting that both cats and dogs can just lick their junk, making face-cat an absolute NOPE
people eat booty though, so what's the difference?
Cristina I would’ve cost you zero (0) dollars to not say that
It’s human booty
@@tinseltina ok but those people don't eat each other's assholes on my kitchen counter while I'm pouring myself some OJ.
@@mellowsign maybe not on YOUR kitchen counter 👀 (or mine)
I feel like they missed a very important point...what breed is the dog and does that affect the hands of the dog? Is it a great dane with a seasoned construction worker hands? What if it's a tiny weenier dog with baby hands?
Ok but the idea of taking Face Cat to a HUMAN dentist to get its HUMAN TEETH checked? Can’t do it, sorry Face Cat
The suggestion that the cat can only say 'hey' is perhaps the most horrific part of this whole thing.
It's 2:21 A.M., and you're waking from a dead sleep. Why? You lift your head a bit, sighing and looking around the room... and then, from the depths of your subconscious awareness crowns a sound: the gentle raking of claws against the foot of your door.
Sssk ssk, ssk ssssk... "Hey."
Ssk ssk, "Hey." Ssk sssk, "Hey."
You stare at your door, eyes wide. The calm but stern voice echoes off the walls of the hallway outside your room. It demands your attention.
You get up, and slowly walk over to open the door. A foot off the ground, the face of Joe Pantoliano greets you, eyes catching what little light is around like vacant glass. The emotions of a cat, read from the face of a man, whose stark voice bids you feed him now.
Congratulations on your new face cat.
Living alone, that low yet commanding "Hey" sometimes pierces the silence of your home, and it never ceases to startle you. The voice is subtly different each and every time.
OK but the questions they don’t ask are: does hand dog have human elbow/shoulder articulation, and does face cat have a human brain? Because Justin made a good point that hand dog probably still has a dog brain and doesn’t want to shoot you with a gun. And like, hand dog is disquieting, but if it can only move its legs in the way dog legs move it’s sort of useless even with human hands. And where do we cut off hands? Does it have human wrists? Are teeth a part of the face? Does face cat have human teeth or cat teeth? Are they human teeth but sized for a cat?
Hand dog is objectively better, in that respect.
Wouldn't a cat with a human face be a small Sphinx?
Yes. Yes it would.
Sphinxes have wings. We need more winged cats
the biggest factor in hand dog is the size of the dog, because my medium sized dog can reach the top of the counter with his paws, which means he is the perfect size to steal cheese from the fridge like he's always wanted to. A cat with a human face is a modified Sphinx
If hand-dog commits a crime with this gun they mentioned, what do they do? If it the owners fault? Are it's finger prints unique? Is it tried as a human? Can you put hand-dogs prints on a weapon, commit a crime with gloves on, and never be caught because no one would print a dog? So many questions.
7:30 - they've just made KK Slider
Dogs with opposable thumbs is a disaster waiting to happen, the objective best choice is Face Cat, as horrible as that is, except in my case i'm alergic to the bastards, so i'm in a real conundrum.
Maybe it's a Sphinx cat, the hairless ones.
Derpion the Derpy so thats... worse
I physically gagged when I heard the options-
I was just pointed towards a short animated horror film called " The Cat with Hands," and while I was creeped out by that one on its own merits, it also made me think of this bit.
Obvious answer is dog with hands, I want to be able to high-five my pup and also have him wield a gun to protect me from any fathomable threat.
I’ve posed this question to my friends so many times and it always sparks a heated debate. I’m personally team face cat
hand dog could crack their knuckles like a cartoon bully and thats GOOD
instead of a mean lookin hound barking and snarling, hand dog could just stare at you and crack his knuckles to intimidate you, and thats quieter so its not as bad for everybody!!
Why does Travis have his cat's food bowl in the bathroom? That's weird right? It's not a normal thing cat owners do that I've never heard before right?
"hand dog can use gun" fucking sent me
I’m more of a cat person and I still would prefer a guitar playing dog friend
So the cat would look like the cats in the movie "Cats"
This needs to be animated
I've listened to this bit so many times but only just remembered Okita from Franken Fran was essentially face cat and he was pretty cool
For me this hinges entirely on what facecat's face actually looks like. Is it a cute face? Is it an ugly face? Is it the face of someone I know? Does the face age as the cat gets older?
Cat with human face just looks like Jaa’m I think
Hands Dog is the clear choice.
First off, it 100% has 4 hands. The prompt clearly says "instead of paws." Do dogs have 2 paws or 4? Exactly
Secondly. Does your dog currently try to kill you? No? Then adding hands would not chanhe that, so no worries there
And my final and irrefutable point: imagine if you will, a golden retriever or a labrador with human hands, that would be so much goddamn fun.
Y'all remember that monster from A:TLA that changed faces?
The quietly upsetting uncanny-valley nature of that scene is what I imagine would spark within me were I to see it in my dark house
This is just the cats movie
what I want to know is are the hands proportional to the dog size or are they adult human sized hands
just wanted to weigh in and say HAND DOG ALL THE WAY BABY 2025!!
important question: would the skin be normal flesh color or would , for example, my gray dog have human hands with gray skin
Face cat CANNOT have an orange face
please stop going down this path of thinking Julie
Face cat can't speak. It does not make sense for face cat to be able to speak, because otherwise the question isn't "do you want a cat with a human face" it's do you want a man trapped inside the body of a cat.
But wouldn't having a human face give it the physicality needed to enunciate human speech? Does the human face include a human tongue? If you combine that with a cat's ability to understand a limited human vocabulary, then at the very least it would be capable of parroting words back to us.
I don't think your cat is sat there trying to say "HAMBURGER" or whatever and being foiled by a head and tongue that can only render the word as 'meow'.
"a cat with a human face" you mean, the mythical sphinx?
Facecat may be able to get a passport but handdog will be able to get a handicap sticker by using sign language, so I can park anywhere it wants because it does drive a car
man they just predicted the live action cats movie
The cat with hands by Robert Morgan
I stan face cat
Dogs that travel already need passports, though! He can still get it if Griffin "Speciesist" McElroy isn't manning the booth at the police station!
Hey, maybe give hand-dog a scritch, maybe hand-dog gives you one back? 🤷♂️
Is justin doing an Ertha Kitt voice in that jumbotron
travs gonna lose his fuckin mind when someone tells him about monkeys
7:55 legit thought that was Clint at first
Cats(2019)
Face Cat Camp 4 Life
Why is the cat and the end Beacon
maybe its got little baby hands. kinda cute?
i love facecat
This is like a rick and morty ep
Okay but: service dog with human hands 🤔
I wouldn’t not want that!
I’m trying to picture any positives about either of these. Face cat I just I don’t want a human face watching me in the dark and then purring and acting like a cat but with a human face. But then hand dog would make slapping sounds when he walks on tile floors, would touch me with his human hands while he’s trying to say idk jump on me like dogs do when there excited, or doing anything with their human hands
Did the movie Cats solve this debate for everyone?
My dog can open containers
They just invented catboys
ok first of all even assuming you could put mittens on the hand dog it could for sure just take them off. second of all does face cat age like a human? like would 15 year old face cat have the face of an elderly person.
SO AS I POSTED THIS I HEARD GRIFFIN POSE THE AGING FACE CAT QUESTION AND MY HEART STOPPED FOR A SEC
Look up cats with hands it answers all the questions.
They predicted Cats 2019
Since a child I thought it would be cool if dogs had hands. I mean think about it. They have unlimited energy and are happy to help their owners in any way possible. Imagine all the chores they can get done
THE TIME HATH COME
magical girl's cat
Dog with human hands would be funny, though. Like those videos where the dogs are sitting at a table wearing clothes and there's people under the table or whatever to make it look like the dogs have human hands?? Those videos are cute; this is a no-brainer.
Cats 2019
See, while I feel like Hand Dog is viscerally more upsetting and Face Cat could be a good companion, Face Cat also can't Cat properly, since, with a human face, mouth, and thus tongue, it can't clean itself. Hand Dog's hand issues are much more adaptable in letting it do normal dog behavior like running than Face Cat being unable to groom or use whiskers for proprioceptive input. Like, you'll have to be careful with Hand Dog's hands, sure, but you will have to treat Face Cat like a cat with no whiskers who can't groom itself, which seems way harder and way more likely to end in neglect and suffering for Face Cat.
The no whiskers thing might cause some issues but it's already a thing that as cats get older they just kinda stop grooming themselves. That's fine, I can brush face cat and I guess wash its little human face every so often. That's normal. Hand dog? Hand dog's human hands slapping against the floor? NOPE.
okay but if face cat tried to lick you to clean you would the tongue be like a wet human tongue or a rough cat tongue
idk which is worse
👑
Why does Face-cat sound like Beacon?
Hand dog. You can teach it to massage your back babie!!!
cat food in the bathroom ....... come on now
Now no one can be first
I was the first to comment on your comment
oh darn how will we live
what about Gromit?? i want s Gromit
Didn’t the recent Cats movie settle thus debate? Hand dog all the way.
I'd much rather have a dog with human hands than a cat with a human face. I mean, 1) it's still a dog, it can just hold things. Imagine how useful that would be if properly trained. 2) it's not that different from having a monkey that's much more obedient. 3) I think meme culture has already shown us how terrifying a cat with a human face can be. Plus, if it can talk, I mean I guess that'd be sorta neat, but I think then we'd have to really consider the rights of an animal that can tell us exactly what it wants and how it feels. Not that I think that's a bad thing, but I think some people aren't thinking of that.
Why on earth would you feed your pets where you shit?
Both present HORRIBLE problems for me.
One: Cats use their faces for all manner of nasty business. Two: they keep strange hours so imagine waking up one night to have a stranger with a cat body staring at you. Three: would it still have a cat-level intellect or would it have a human-level intellect because at that point it wouldn't matter if it had a cat body it would now be a serial killer.
The only problem I can see with human-handed dogs is that, as the boys already mentioned, it would get into everything and there is no way you could dog-proof the house if the dog in question had human hands.
If I had to choose I would choose the dog on the virtue that it still retains its dog brain, its just trickier. Also, teach it to do massages and then you've got an in-home masseuse.
mittens + secure fingers together sort of like a lobste
Google face cat or hand dog
If you choose face cat over hand dog you're an absolute lunatic