Men dont allow women to "grow on them". We dont tell men to "give the girl a chance". Ladies, you are allowed to have standards dont let society tell you otherwise.
THANK YOU. A lot of the times men benefit from a woman’s belief that ugly will have better personality or treat you better. Ugly men beat all the time.
@@Laoriginal718 It's desirability than attraction. There are people attracted to gross and outlandish things, doesn't mean it's desirable by anyone's standards.
I recently met a guy who was nice but severely obese. Now, I’m a slim and fit woman and I’ve never been attracted to overweight/obese men. I battled in my mind whether or not to date him but I finally decided not to. I made that decision because I know that if the tables were reversed, he wouldn’t date me. Men never compromise and date women who aren’t their type. So us women need to take a cue from men and refuse to date men who aren’t our type. We should match their energy!
A friend of mine who’s pretty and very thin dated a 300’ guy; He treated her like crap and said he couldn’t date her because of his security clearance (she’s Russian). Of course, he did this AFTER xes. You did the right thing by not dating that guy who was obese; imagine how low you’d feel when even he treats you badly and doesn’t appreciate you?
This is extremely true. Society never tells men to lower their physical standards on women. I always see men who literally look like Beetlejuice talking about they only entertain IG baddies, or won’t date single moms. Society lets them thrive in as much delusion as they want, but if a woman has standards they’ll be the main ones telling her she’ll be single for rest of her life.
You made the right decision. I had a similar case in the past and DID date imo not attractive overweight gamer dude for 3 months in an attempt to prove myself as not being shallow... Let's just say I could barely tolerate a kiss 😂 it was never easier to abstain as a Christian so after 3 months I dipped and swore never to make that same mistake again. Worst part of it was... He ended having no sense of identity or personality too other than being nice and sometimes cracking a good joke or two, so Idk what the heck I wanted to achieve with this pick of a man child 😂smh 🤦🏽♀️
It's true. I have seen Mugly males mistreat beautiful women, and I'm like, HOW and WHY? Women make too many compromises when it comes to men. Men are not the only visual beings, women are visual too.
Ladies. He won't respect you more or be "grateful" you are in his life, his ego is gonna balloon and now he thinks, he can do better and get a "better" hottie. Once the other women see you with him, they are going to hit on him and give attention, thinking he's got something and that is why he is with you. Don't do it, don't go with someone you are not attracted to, they are WORSE, especially if they are unattractive in general and they come with a truck load of issues and insecurities.
I hate the idea of a man having to "grow on me", because he isn't actually attracted to me. I'd think most men would feel the same way. Can you imagine how bad it would feel to find out that your significant other doesn't find you attractive? I don't think you're doing a person any favors by trying to force yourself to be attracted to them.
Most men will settle with a woman they deem “good enough”. He doesn’t have to like, love or be attracted to her to marry him. Same goes for women when a man has money 🤷🏽♀️
Some dudes are so desperate for physical intimacy they don't even care. That's why so many of them advocate for legally blocking women from working. So they can force women back to picking them out of desperation and survival. Instead of looking for women that would actually love them.
yeah but honeslty considering mens insane high standards in beauty and the general high standards in looks an behaviorus in women it is easy for men to get a good enough woman who is still out of their league all around even. For women not so much. Men might not have easy access to women as women have to men but men have the better quality of options to pick from by far compared to women. @@Laoriginal718
@@Laoriginal718 but they wont do this if a woman is below "good enough." and if a woman is good enough, she may not be 10 out of 10, but still attractive to him. A man would not bother for a woman that has to grow on him in terms of physical attraction. But women are expected to. And men are surpriosed if such a woman isn't eager for sex.
As a middle-aged woman, I’ve noticed something over my lifetime: the average woman is MUCH more attractive than the average man. That’s why they tell us not to be picky, but the odds are that most men we meet will be below our league to begin with. That’s just facts and a lot of men haven’t figured it out yet. Ladies, please know your value.
Where do yall get this from? Average people are just that…..average and average looking and that’s ok but average looking women look the exact same as average looking men. It’s rare I see an attractive person. Most people are average and have no “wow” factor.
I’ve realized this as well, women are just generally prettier as a gender. That’s why when I do see a good looking guy on the street, it’s something to get excited about because it’s rare 🥲
@@Laoriginal718I think this comes from the idea that women typically take better care of themselves, like grooming, styling, practicing self care more then the average man does because of the effort they put into themselves they tend to look more attractive then men even if their face is average.
The obvious problem is that not everyone can date attractive people (since not everyone IS attractive). And I don't know why but the world seem to operate under the assumption that everyone needs to be matched with someone, that there is a sock to every shoe and people of equal level of attractiveness (or lack thereof) should be paired up.
I tried this and it did not work. Then I met my husband, and when I say he is so fine he is way above my expectations of who I thought that I would end up marrying.. Tall handsome I didn't even have to try. It just happened naturally.
That happened to me too. Unattractive guy chased me until I gave in. Got bored with me after several months. Dropped me in just in time for me to be free to meet my out-of-my-league husband. We’ve been married 32 years ❤
Agreed. People womt admit this but when they are not attracted to their partner, they give a little less respect to them compared to a person they are fully attracted to. Its night and day treatment
THIS. I’m Gen X and ended up dating many an icky guy because others pressured, shamed, and guilted me into it. “He’s a NICE GUY. You’re so SHALLOW!” But he was after me because of my looks! It’s such a horrible double standard. Plus they know they’re not good enough and that you lowered your standards and can and up punishing you for it.
“They’re all going to mistreat you. So they might as well be cute!” -My aunty. Listen, because the second he gets on my nerves, my attraction level goes down a notch. So, I need to be able to look over at him and think “at least. ❤”.
I married a man that’s not even my type then and now dude took me through hell and back and he was broke too I was young the audacity of him but baby neverrrrrr again!!!
They all said 'a woman out of my league' 😂 Stand up women! No struggle love is allowed. No pity for a man that would not hesitate to scrape you off like cold cereal. Desire better, accept better & do better!
@@ssbashalot7324 Am I wrong ? What could possibly drive a confident, sexually successful man to post passive agressive comments designed to make all womankind seem evil and shallow ? On what is obviously a feminist channel no less. As for my lack of "decent argument", your premise was: "All women are shallow !", what do you expect me to do with that ? What is your decent argument in favour of this ridiculous allegation ?
@@melchiorlise2466 Confident sexually successful men are allowed to to share their opinions on the internet like you are. So I don’t really see the problem. You’re also using passive aggressive wrong Majority (not all) of you women are kinda shallow. What I said wasn’t wrong. Y’all disrespect men that you aren’t attracted to for the sake of disrespecting them. Hence why there is an array of discrimination against short men. You guys call say that they have short men syndrome (which isn’t even a thing). Y’all think that y’all can overpower and dominate them because they are short. Y’all use napoleon complex as an insult (which doesn’t even make sense considering he was a leader) and more. Let me not get started on fat men and you’re obsessions with gay men lmao
After being in a toxic situationship with a guy I found wildly attractive, I tried dating guys I didn't find attractive and giving them a chance to see if their personalities would shine through. NOPE! The unattractive men were WORSE. They weren't romantic, they didn't compliment me, didn't have any problem with putting me in inconvenient and unsafe situations for our dates, etc. The only unattractive guy that at least made me feel desirable quickly became extremely sexual and love bombed me (we didn't meet in person, thankfully, and he ended up blocking me because I wasn't willing to stay on the phone with him for hours and entertain his constant messaging.) So yeah... if God wants you to be with a man, you'll find him attractive. And maybe he really isn't your usual type and you'll have no idea why... but you'll still feel hot in the loins for him anyway lol. If it has to grow on you, sis, it's MOLD.
Abit of storytime. Went on a date with a guy that while he was definitely the same guy in his profile, was less attractive in person due to those photos being out of date. I’m talking 50lbs heavier, balding, dry patchy skin, and overall looking like a foot as opposed to the cute guy from 5 years ago. Initially he said he knows his appearance is ‘abit’ different but he’s working on himself to get back to how he used to look. So I figured maybe he’ll grow on me. I’ve never been so wrong. Each time we met I found something more off-putting about him and his personal grooming. He started showing up in wrinkled old hand-me-down clothes, and I discovered had been using expired skincare because it’s from his parents. I didn’t want to kiss him, I dreaded meeting up. By date 3 when I asked how was his self care journey going, he said he abandoned it. He said, and I quote, he felt like he didn’t need to since his dating life is going well ‘so far’. Despite at that point being the only girl that was still seeing him (one girl left the date upon his arrival), the second he thought his personality was winning me over he abandoned trying to look decent. And I wasn’t attracted to the man in front of me. I called it off because I was already feeling resentful and manipulated. Oh and in the beginning when I asked why he didn’t use more up to date photos, he said he was too self conscious and the one photo he had wasn’t getting a lot of results. He wasn’t attracted to the few women that did reach out to him. So this guy knew he was currently unappealing to women, and used photos when he was more attractive to entice women on dates. And if he’s willing to misinform a woman at the beginning, I can only imagine how’d he’d be in a relationship. Men date women as they are, we should do the same. If you don’t like a part of that guy, don’t wait for him to grow on you. He’s a person, not a fungus 🤮
You dodged a bullet. The fact that he thought he could win you over even though he knows he is unattractive is disturbing. Not because it's impossible to look beyond appearances, but because a man who believes attractiveness is somehow "optional" for women can't have a lot of respect and a good understanding of them.
I was in a 8 year relationship with someone i wasn't attracted to. His face never grew on me. His morals remained questionable. He was a bare minimum bae for all of the 8 years. I learned my lesson the long hard way. Never again
I don't mean to be mean, but it always mystifies me how much time some women are willing to waste on a man. Eight years? I couldn't have given him 8 weeks! I think it's good, in a twisted way, that I had a narcissistic parent because the drained me of all endurance for a man like that.
The problem with me is that I’m not immediately physically attracted to any man. I have to get to know him first, and a man who’s kind grows on me does so, because he’s kind. Kindness will make me find what’s cute about him, but there are objectively great looking men who’s personality makes them ugly to me. The biggest issue is that ugly and handsome males all eventually act the same way. I don’t know if it’s just a modern thing, but all males I’ve met in the dating scene have been acting badly no matter what they look like or have financially. And there’s nothing worse than giving a guy who’s “beneath you” a chance and then to have him turn around and act just like the mean high school football star.😂
From an elder's perspective: it's not new @ all. We now have social media which spreads awareness. When I was young, there was a preponderance of social isolation, but listening to those elders as a child back when, the same complaints, but there were no options becuz Coveture laws.
I’m the same way after living and dating in Los Angeles. Lots of attractive men but a LOT of them are horrible to date. It really shifted my perspective and what I found attractive.
Dated both attractive and unattractive men. Still got hurt anyway. Didn't matter if they were broke or rich. Most men need to be honest with us instead of playing games
In the same way, but I’m done with men I don’t *find* attractive, because it sucks to develop feelings for a man only to never be attracted *to* them. Just because you have intimacy with someone, doesn’t mean that that’s your man😭
Had a neighbor tell me she was dating someone. Then proceeded to tell me he was ugly.then had a baby with him. How the hell does that make since. Desperation is a sad look.
Okay ma'am. Ain't gotta tell me twice. Everytime I dated an ugly man, he'd tell me how I'm like a trophy to them, which I saw nothing wrong with, and yet they would go right ahead and tell me how I'm not skinny enough, my natural hair isn't good enough, and looking back how am I ,a 5'10 19 year old girl with all my options open, gonna let a 5'6 300+ 30 yo man tell me how I look isn't good enough🤨 this channel opening my eyes, thank God I found it now and not later
The older guys look for a much younger woman to mold into exactly who they want in looks and character. Best to stick to someone within 5 years of your age range as you enter your 20s. I've never been into the older ones, but even just by me cordially talking to them, two have assumed the interest was reciprocated and got jealous, insecure and controlling, giving unsolicited advice about my fashion. It's weird.
Yes. Went out with a man who wasn’t that attractive to me AND lied about his height. So everything he said afterwards, I found annoying. Any move he made to kiss me, I cringed. 😂
Yep. When i was younger (between 16-19) i was a bit overweight, i was also depressed and guys treated me like a second class citizen even tho i never tried to make a move on them, they could not stand the idea treating me like a normal person only bc they were not attracted to me. Yet, prettier girls were treated so much better, and friendzoned by them.
A good looking man can break your heart, and ugly man will hurt your heart and your ego. Mind you, most men would only have to dress better and have a good grooming routine to look more attractive and they won’t do the bare minimum to look more attractive!!! Nope, I tried dating for personality and it never ended well
If they want women that are out of their league, their pockets 💰 better match, because you’re going to have to help with their up keep. There’s a lot of factors and money that go into women looking good.
It’s not even just about looks. People need to stop settling for people who they aren’t feeling in general; whether it’s no chemistry, clashing personality traits, opposing cultural/religious views, opposing views about gender roles, values, finances, etc. Stop dating people you aren’t happy with just because they’re nice! That’s not enough! You’re being disingenuous to yourself and unfair to them in the end too! There’s a reason sparks don’t fly for you with certain people. You can find someone who’s a balance of everything you want in a partner, you don’t have to trade one for the other!
My Grandma always says Think about your DAUGHERS when you pick a man based on looks. Because she said she refused marrying an ugly man even despite the social pressures of her time. Not just for herself because she didnt want to wake up from a nightmare only to look at a night marish face but also because we live in a *society* and women do get judged and treated based on their looks, it affects their self worth and self esteem and it is unfortunelty also their social market value wether we like it or not (yes i hate it here) so she picked herself a pretty boy man. And lucky for my mom, aunt and uncle she did because they all ended up looking just like their father and are pretty. ANd besides looks he was also a great provider, active and enthusiatic hands on care taking father (there was no sepration of labour for him, he just did what needed to be done without needing to be told and was happy to do so, he was also an active grandad). Grandpa did not settle in any era looks, finances, personality, love (the man was a "simp" for my grandpa and he knew it and was happy to be). People keep telling women to respect themsleves and I agree but for different reasons not the "slut shaming reasons", but in terms of not settling, dont date people who are shady, not atttractive to you, but treat you great not good GREAT. A man that respects and honors you as a fellow human being and also as a woman he is dating. And honor and love wholisticaly body, mind, spirit and hear. I say if he is not a simp for you in your relationship what even is the point?
True! Women MUST date only with men, they find physically attractive. It's our bodies tell us something, that this man has good genes. When you date an unattractive man - you betray your offspring and mother nature.
Because...men are not gonna date potential. He's not gonna wait for you to lose 20 kg or get your hair to butt length. He is gonna go for what he wants from jump!
I read the title and hollered. When I tell you EACH & EVERY TIME I’ve done that I regretted it. Those were the worst, untrustworthy, egotistical jerks. They literally chased me down just to be a**holes once we dated. Never again! I constantly tell my daughter to only date men you initially find attractive, because men will never compromise in that category.
From dating a dude I didn't think was cute, didn't think was nice, cheated on me the entire 2 years (found out after). I found a dude who cute af, sweet as sin, and GENUINELY want me to feel good... don't give dudes a chance who wouldn't give you a chance if the shoe was on the other foot.
Wanted to give a flipside to the argument: I feel like at first glance, people assume this about my bf and I. What they don’t know is that we instantly clicked on the first date and the attraction was just there. My friends don’t see why I find my man attractive on the surface, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t to me. If you find a good guy and YOU find him physically attractive, don’t let other people convince you otherwise. We all know what it’s like to not be into someone. So trust your gut to know the difference versus relying on social validation. I.e “will my friends/other people think he’s cute too”
it isnt really the flip side it is still on the same side of being attracted to the person you like not just personality wise but also physically. Yes, there is objectively good looking people based on the beauty standards and also unconventionally attractive people but on top of that people also have their individual things they are attracted to physically. The point is not get the hottest guy so your friends or peopel can be impressed with you or so that you can say you have the objectiely hottest guy. The point is stop forcing women date men they are not attracted physically (obviously also personaity wise but the video is focusing more on looks) and i 100% agree and I think you do to. Women shouldnt have to settle on attraction and have someones face grow on them or learn to love it. Like you said you and your man were attracted to each other from the get go that is perfect. How others perceive your attractivness is irrelant what is important is that you are attracted to the person. Because it is also settleing on looks if woman is coerced into dating idk Hugo boss model because "but he is objectively hot" eventhough she is not attracted to him.
I don't think this was the point of the video (though you are right). If YOU think the person is attractive, that's 100% the only thing that matters. I think this video is saying that some women will date men they don't even find attractive in the first place, and that leads to problems down the road. But again, you are right: social validation doesn't mean anything as long as you both are compatible.
I remember having to argue my position that mens looks matter with friends and my mom and hearing the old " if he treats you well". First off, men never treat the same after marriage or dating for a while. So that guy who " had to grow on you" is now just ugly and your giving cheating a thought. And on top of that girls tend to like their dad. Why would I do my daughter dirty if I know her dad isn't attractive?
Just looking at most successful couples will tell you that people naturally date others equally as attractive as them. The most attractive people pair up, and the average looking people pair up. The below average people either date other below average people or spend their lives chasing people out of their league and wondering why it doesn’t work (it doesn’t work because they feel insecure all the time and let it destroy their relationship). Don’t be the girl they chase as some ego boost.
Looks are important but so is character and integrity! Most very attractive ppl KNOW that they are attractive! Therefore, they are NOT in a rush to settle down AND some are so vain that they believe that they can treat you any type of way because you should be glad to be with them!
Wholeheartedly support this message. A common theme I've noticed in this discourse is that dudes push back if women have choice AT ALL. So, there's a ton of social conditioning directed at women to settle in every aspect of life. As women have gained more financial independence in the last couple of generations, women are no longer required to settle for scraps simply to survive, so they aren't. I say all this to say that yes, women absolutely should stop giving men a chance when she isn't genuinely into him. And if you happen to feel some kinda way when you actually reject someone or you get friends or the dude telling you you're too judgmental, just remember it actually is new in history for women to HAVE choice when it comes to men and learning anything new can be uncomfortable at first. Push back or discomfort doesn't make this approach wrong, and in fact should probably be expected. Women are definitely going against the grain when they hold firm to standards, which is a fantastic thing because the grain in question is oppression.
I made the mistake of trying to “work with” a dude I wasn’t incredibly physically attracted to because he was intelligent and funny and seemed nice; turns out he was a charlatan and I cussed him within an inch of his miserable life citing every flaw I observed about him. I was then angry with myself because I realized I lowered my standards…and for what? Fear that I couldn’t do better. The lies we believe and suffer from 😔
I only found 2 men in my entire life, attractive. They wanted nothing to do with me because I was too ugly for them. My ex husband had to grow on me for a while but in the end even he didn’t want me. And the guy was butt-ugly if I am being for real. If I limit myself to only just a “handsome prince charming” then there is no point in dating anyone. He’s not out there checking for me. Yes, there are people like me who finds 99.99% of all men repulsive. Even if they look somewhat alright, they say some dumb crap that turns me off for good. To me, a brilliant mind is much more important. That actually can get me going. Surface level stuff is temporary anyway. Looks fade.
I respect your opinion, but it only works if having a partner is a non-negotiable high priority in your life. For a lot of women having a partner is now optional, they don't need one no matter the cost. So if they are fine alone, and a man would only be a bonus to their pre-existing happiness it makes sense they won't settle for someone they aren't attracted to. And even though physical appearance wasn't a major factor for you you did admit to feeling attracted to your partner. Which is good, but most women cannot develop attraction based on intellect and personality even if it is good enough for you.
@@melchiorlise2466I was with you until you mentioned personality is not good enough. A man of good character is everything(and rare). If women can't find that attractive then that's on them.
@@LoveCompassionPurity Personality is very important, but it's not everything. Few people can develop attraction based on personality alone. And I'd like to point out we only ask that of women and never of men. Men can admit to want an attractive partner, they can admit that they wouldn't date a woman who looks like Gollum, no matter how good she is personality wise. It would do good for women to be allowed to say the same thing without being called shallow. Women are allowed to want to be attracted to their partner. They are allowed to want someone they are attracted to from the start and not someone they should make an effort to find attractive. Either you find someone attractive or you don't, and if you don't it's ok you don't have to force yourself or wonder why that is, there's no "If you don't find personality attractive it's on you" bullshit.
I literally did this with my child’s father. I wasn’t instantly attracted to him and he wasn’t my type (white guy, I prefer my people to be with it makes more sense to me lol) I tried to get over those feelings but his personality showed itself to match his looks too… I couldn’t stand that man, everything about him made me angry, and the things he was doing behind my back explained why I felt off about him. Attraction never grew it actually demised when he gained more weight than I did during my pregnancy and I didn’t even want him to touch me. I knew I was settling and I had to go.
I made a massive mistake of dating someone who always had a hat on, and after like a month of dating, I saw him without his hat for the first time, and he looked completely different and was balding. Like seriously looked so cute with the hat on, and looked totally different with it off and once I saw him without his hat, I was not nearly as attracted and just kind of talk to myself out of it. Mistake.
This is so true, i used to feel bad for not giving them a chance cuz theyre ugly to me but i realised men dont think like that. They wouldnt even give time of day if they didnt find you attractive
And this is why I’m more inclined to date women if I ever decide to date again. I genuinely don’t like being shallow, but every man is shallow in some way. And I gotta worry about some dude that is less than in some way going out embarrassing me just cause. Plus there’s no such thing as an ugly woman so win-win 🥰
@@loisamy15 I mean why not? If we want love and care then I see no reason why we can’t give it to each other 🤷🏾♀️ better than waiting on the ex-whys to figure life out. We’ll all be 6 feet under by then 😂 Plus physical intimacy isn’t that important anyway. We can pour into ourselves and other in a multitude of ways. And yes your grandma was smart. I wish I listened to the elder women sooner!
Lol Frfr cuz people deserve someone who sees them and gets doll eyed… if you have to fight to smile when they look at you then you’re doing both of yourselves a disservice
But the attractive men can stilk treat you like shit. We women should be the main character and don't settle for any type of male that doesn't respect us or that doesn't take active steps for a emotional,respectul and wholesome relashionship.
For the second girl that claims that she wasn’t attracted to the guy she dated last year why are you keeping a photo of him? If you’re not attracted to if I’m not attracted to someone I’m not gonna keep a picture of him
Because she could have forgotten to delete it? It could have been a photo saved in the text message history she had with her friends. Or she could have gotten it from his social media.
I’ve heard a woman say some things I understand: she absolutely loved everything else _(height, grooming, style, behavior, lifestyle, personality, health consciousness, hobbies, values, how they treat them &!others etc )_ to the point it would be highly unlikely to ever find anyone she LOVES everything else about perfectly. Then she ended it by saying something like “when women’s husbands getelderly we all probs will go through having to allow his new face to grow on us” - that part seems really true. So I get it in some people’s situations
This idea of someone growing on you comes from back when ppl were arranged marriage. And the bible, I think, if someone has all these bad features look for the positive and compilment their good feature.
Yeah, you shouldn't have to close your eyes to get through it. Was catfished by a guy who looked nothing like the picture he posted, like at all. Might be the only decent picture he took and it didn't look like him. BTW he turned out to be a serious jerk and he had the nerve to criticize me based on appearance when I uploaded a real picture of myself. Remember his picture wasn't even close. Later found out he was talking to many women. Glad I got out of that. And some of these women he was talking too contacted me, so yeah karma. And he kied about how much money he made. Hell he just lied about everything. Women get medsage we should be the "beyter" person and let giys to grow on us. Yeah, men do not do that. Why should we? Nope.
If i am not attacted to a guy,i am not interested in his personality, i wont buy a product that i dont find appealing but i have to settle with a human being who i have 0 attraction to? And God doesnt approve of dating, he approves of Marriage!
I need to like the whole package. A nice face and physique won't save a crappy personality 😂 Then again I married a guy who wasn't my type necessarily, but he's got a cute face, a good personality and an amazing ass 😁
Even if you’re the one they want, they still treat you like you not shit 🤣 then cry abt it when the bag gets fumbled. Shouldn’t tried to have a boss contest w a vet!!
I think being hung up on looks is one of the many reasons relationships fail. However, I can understand refusing to entertain someone you are not attracted to.
Been there done that by the last two men i dated. They are not even attractive but they screwed up and dumped & ghosted me 😂 me being with them elevated their status to other women and ego boost
That's why I say NEVER claim a man. Women don't understand how much free promotion we give these bastards by even letting them talk to us in public. I don't let men post me on social media and I make it clear I don't want others knowing we deal with each other. I refuse to let a musty ass male get any play off of my face. When you're a really pretty woman or you take damn good care of yourself financially you have to really watch out for that shit.
💯 Most men resent having to use their personality to compensate for their looks. The mask will fall off and you will be disappointed. Only date men you are attracted to! I’ve been living this and say this for years and people use to argue me down trying to convince me to settle for a man I’m not attracted to 😂😂😂 I will either be with a man I’m attracted to on all levels or single.
No cause i always thought this they date ugly/less attractive man bc they think he'll never cheat and he gon treat me right. Just to get stepped over, please just date who u are really attracted to not who u think will treat you better.
When someone says this...I say leave them alone. It's not fair and waste of time. You will have a child you will resent, the child will detect it. *I see it especially with colorism generationally in families*
Ikr! I wanted to comment they remind me of cow eyes but didn't want it to seem rude. I find cows to have the prettiest eyes lmao, my chihuahua has big hazel eyes and those are my favorite. I don't care for the blue hues bc they remind me of fish 😅
@@Beeboop7 cows do be having the most beautiful eyes! lol kind of crazy but yeah because they even have long eyelashes. I live by some cows and even the babies sometimes get in long eyelashes and they are so cute!
Are we talking about physical attributes (I'm assuming) or non-tangible attributes? If it's physical nobody is out of my league.....who's out of my league? Nobody. And I date both men and women. Stop that. Confidence
![POLYCAT - ข้อความรูปยิ้ม [Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/lBhIgPGCgbI/mqdefault.jpg)
Men dont allow women to "grow on them". We dont tell men to "give the girl a chance". Ladies, you are allowed to have standards dont let society tell you otherwise.
They never work off of potential. Your weight will not "grow on them"
The fact that he is unattractive doesn't mean he will treat you better or is safe.
Facts 💯 Male are males, their male nature doesn't change just because they have ugly faces 🤷🏻♀️
Duh. But the point is physical attraction is just as important as everything else.
THANK YOU. A lot of the times men benefit from a woman’s belief that ugly will have better personality or treat you better. Ugly men beat all the time.
@@Laoriginal718 It's desirability than attraction. There are people attracted to gross and outlandish things, doesn't mean it's desirable by anyone's standards.
THIS. EXACTLY THIS.
I recently met a guy who was nice but severely obese. Now, I’m a slim and fit woman and I’ve never been attracted to overweight/obese men. I battled in my mind whether or not to date him but I finally decided not to. I made that decision because I know that if the tables were reversed, he wouldn’t date me. Men never compromise and date women who aren’t their type. So us women need to take a cue from men and refuse to date men who aren’t our type. We should match their energy!
You’re right
Girl I could’ve wrote this! I’m like he’s a good dude but I can’t - I like slim/ built/ fit body types
A friend of mine who’s pretty and very thin dated a 300’ guy; He treated her like crap and said he couldn’t date her because of his security clearance (she’s Russian). Of course, he did this AFTER xes. You did the right thing by not dating that guy who was obese; imagine how low you’d feel when even he treats you badly and doesn’t appreciate you?
This is extremely true. Society never tells men to lower their physical standards on women. I always see men who literally look like Beetlejuice talking about they only entertain IG baddies, or won’t date single moms. Society lets them thrive in as much delusion as they want, but if a woman has standards they’ll be the main ones telling her she’ll be single for rest of her life.
You made the right decision. I had a similar case in the past and DID date imo not attractive overweight gamer dude for 3 months in an attempt to prove myself as not being shallow... Let's just say I could barely tolerate a kiss 😂 it was never easier to abstain as a Christian so after 3 months I dipped and swore never to make that same mistake again. Worst part of it was... He ended having no sense of identity or personality too other than being nice and sometimes cracking a good joke or two, so Idk what the heck I wanted to achieve with this pick of a man child 😂smh 🤦🏽♀️
It's true. I have seen Mugly males mistreat beautiful women, and I'm like, HOW and WHY? Women make too many compromises when it comes to men. Men are not the only visual beings, women are visual too.
I call them Fugly.
Mugly 😂
@@craffte- 🤭😁
I will never recover from you calling them Mugly 😂😂😂
prob cause they are insecure
Ladies. He won't respect you more or be "grateful" you are in his life, his ego is gonna balloon and now he thinks, he can do better and get a "better" hottie. Once the other women see you with him, they are going to hit on him and give attention, thinking he's got something and that is why he is with you. Don't do it, don't go with someone you are not attracted to, they are WORSE, especially if they are unattractive in general and they come with a truck load of issues and insecurities.
Facts!
Pin this comment to the top!
Waste of time. If I am not attracted to you I am not going to make myself miserable just to be coupled.
THIS !!!!
I hate the idea of a man having to "grow on me", because he isn't actually attracted to me. I'd think most men would feel the same way. Can you imagine how bad it would feel to find out that your significant other doesn't find you attractive? I don't think you're doing a person any favors by trying to force yourself to be attracted to them.
A MAN WILL NEVER ALLOW A WOMANS FACE TO
GROW ON HIM
IF A MAN ISNT PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO A WOMEN
HE WILL NOT DATE HER
ONLY WOMEN SETTLE
FOR UGLY MEN
Most men will settle with a woman they deem “good enough”. He doesn’t have to like, love or be attracted to her to marry him. Same goes for women when a man has money 🤷🏽♀️
Some dudes are so desperate for physical intimacy they don't even care. That's why so many of them advocate for legally blocking women from working. So they can force women back to picking them out of desperation and survival. Instead of looking for women that would actually love them.
yeah but honeslty considering mens insane high standards in beauty and the general high standards in looks an behaviorus in women it is easy for men to get a good enough woman who is still out of their league all around even. For women not so much. Men might not have easy access to women as women have to men but men have the better quality of options to pick from by far compared to women. @@Laoriginal718
@@Laoriginal718 but they wont do this if a woman is below "good enough." and if a woman is good enough, she may not be 10 out of 10, but still attractive to him. A man would not bother for a woman that has to grow on him in terms of physical attraction. But women are expected to. And men are surpriosed if such a woman isn't eager for sex.
As a middle-aged woman, I’ve noticed something over my lifetime: the average woman is MUCH more attractive than the average man. That’s why they tell us not to be picky, but the odds are that most men we meet will be below our league to begin with. That’s just facts and a lot of men haven’t figured it out yet. Ladies, please know your value.
Where do yall get this from? Average people are just that…..average and average looking and that’s ok but average looking women look the exact same as average looking men. It’s rare I see an attractive person. Most people are average and have no “wow” factor.
I’ve realized this as well, women are just generally prettier as a gender. That’s why when I do see a good looking guy on the street, it’s something to get excited about because it’s rare 🥲
But doesn't that mean in practice that most women will just end up having to date below their league?
@@Laoriginal718I think this comes from the idea that women typically take better care of themselves, like grooming, styling, practicing self care more then the average man does because of the effort they put into themselves they tend to look more attractive then men even if their face is average.
The obvious problem is that not everyone can date attractive people (since not everyone IS attractive). And I don't know why but the world seem to operate under the assumption that everyone needs to be matched with someone, that there is a sock to every shoe and people of equal level of attractiveness (or lack thereof) should be paired up.
I tried this and it did not work. Then I met my husband, and when I say he is so fine he is way above my expectations of who I thought that I would end up marrying.. Tall handsome I didn't even have to try. It just happened naturally.
That happened to me too. Unattractive guy chased me until I gave in. Got bored with me after several months. Dropped me in just in time for me to be free to meet my out-of-my-league husband. We’ve been married 32 years ❤
Shut up. That's lucky not because he is out of your league?? Please stop gloating it's sad
It's soo lovely to marry someone tall and attractive. I'm looking at my fiance everyday like🥰🥰💕💕
I hope this happens to me soon! Congratulations ❤
I hope he always treats you well and with respect.
tbh you only hurting yourself and that person if your forcing yourself to love them when you dont🤷🏽♀️
True
Agreed. People womt admit this but when they are not attracted to their partner, they give a little less respect to them compared to a person they are fully attracted to. Its night and day treatment
Night and day you say... 2 completely different universe sis 😂😂
@@kennyav25 nah you dont get it. Its simple. When you are attracted to a person you treat them good. When you not you feel contempt and resentment
@@zero1188 I think they were agreeing with you. They were just taking it up a notch by adding the universe
THIS. I’m Gen X and ended up dating many an icky guy because others pressured, shamed, and guilted me into it. “He’s a NICE GUY. You’re so SHALLOW!” But he was after me because of my looks! It’s such a horrible double standard.
Plus they know they’re not good enough and that you lowered your standards and can and up punishing you for it.
“They’re all going to mistreat you. So they might as well be cute!” -My aunty.
Listen, because the second he gets on my nerves, my attraction level goes down a notch. So, I need to be able to look over at him and think “at least. ❤”.
I said the same thing to my sister. I said you not gonna be mean, ugly AND get on my nerves. Pick a struggle
@@chorizoramen93😂😂😂
I married a man that’s not even my type then and now dude took me through hell and back and he was broke too I was young the audacity of him but baby neverrrrrr again!!!
Sounds like my ex 😂 they might be brothers.
We all been there and done that
@@loisamy15 🤣😂
@@Sophia-angelFact.
Same
They all said 'a woman out of my league' 😂 Stand up women! No struggle love is allowed. No pity for a man that would not hesitate to scrape you off like cold cereal.
Desire better, accept better & do better!
🥂
Why are we feeling guilty because we want to be attracted to our partners ?
Because 9/10 times y’all disrespect the person y’all aren’t attracted to.
@@ssbashalot7324 Ah you must be the lone incel who wandered here by mistake. Welcome I guess...
@@melchiorlise2466 Using incel is the wrong form and I can tell that’s your go to when you don’t come up with a decent argument
@@ssbashalot7324 Am I wrong ? What could possibly drive a confident, sexually successful man to post passive agressive comments designed to make all womankind seem evil and shallow ? On what is obviously a feminist channel no less.
As for my lack of "decent argument", your premise was: "All women are shallow !", what do you expect me to do with that ? What is your decent argument in favour of this ridiculous allegation ?
@@melchiorlise2466 Confident sexually successful men are allowed to to share their opinions on the internet like you are. So I don’t really see the problem.
You’re also using passive aggressive wrong
Majority (not all) of you women are kinda shallow. What I said wasn’t wrong. Y’all disrespect men that you aren’t attracted to for the sake of disrespecting them. Hence why there is an array of discrimination against short men. You guys call say that they have short men syndrome (which isn’t even a thing). Y’all think that y’all can overpower and dominate them because they are short. Y’all use napoleon complex as an insult (which doesn’t even make sense considering he was a leader) and more. Let me not get started on fat men and you’re obsessions with gay men lmao
After being in a toxic situationship with a guy I found wildly attractive, I tried dating guys I didn't find attractive and giving them a chance to see if their personalities would shine through. NOPE! The unattractive men were WORSE. They weren't romantic, they didn't compliment me, didn't have any problem with putting me in inconvenient and unsafe situations for our dates, etc. The only unattractive guy that at least made me feel desirable quickly became extremely sexual and love bombed me (we didn't meet in person, thankfully, and he ended up blocking me because I wasn't willing to stay on the phone with him for hours and entertain his constant messaging.)
So yeah... if God wants you to be with a man, you'll find him attractive. And maybe he really isn't your usual type and you'll have no idea why... but you'll still feel hot in the loins for him anyway lol.
If it has to grow on you, sis, it's MOLD.
Abit of storytime. Went on a date with a guy that while he was definitely the same guy in his profile, was less attractive in person due to those photos being out of date.
I’m talking 50lbs heavier, balding, dry patchy skin, and overall looking like a foot as opposed to the cute guy from 5 years ago.
Initially he said he knows his appearance is ‘abit’ different but he’s working on himself to get back to how he used to look. So I figured maybe he’ll grow on me.
I’ve never been so wrong. Each time we met I found something more off-putting about him and his personal grooming. He started showing up in wrinkled old hand-me-down clothes, and I discovered had been using expired skincare because it’s from his parents. I didn’t want to kiss him, I dreaded meeting up. By date 3 when I asked how was his self care journey going, he said he abandoned it. He said, and I quote, he felt like he didn’t need to since his dating life is going well ‘so far’.
Despite at that point being the only girl that was still seeing him (one girl left the date upon his arrival), the second he thought his personality was winning me over he abandoned trying to look decent. And I wasn’t attracted to the man in front of me. I called it off because I was already feeling resentful and manipulated.
Oh and in the beginning when I asked why he didn’t use more up to date photos, he said he was too self conscious and the one photo he had wasn’t getting a lot of results. He wasn’t attracted to the few women that did reach out to him. So this guy knew he was currently unappealing to women, and used photos when he was more attractive to entice women on dates. And if he’s willing to misinform a woman at the beginning, I can only imagine how’d he’d be in a relationship.
Men date women as they are, we should do the same. If you don’t like a part of that guy, don’t wait for him to grow on you. He’s a person, not a fungus 🤮
You dodged a bullet. The fact that he thought he could win you over even though he knows he is unattractive is disturbing.
Not because it's impossible to look beyond appearances, but because a man who believes attractiveness is somehow "optional" for women can't have a lot of respect and a good understanding of them.
The fact he stopped his own self care after three dates is crazy can just imagine how he would of gave up on the relationship after he got u also
I was in a 8 year relationship with someone i wasn't attracted to. His face never grew on me. His morals remained questionable. He was a bare minimum bae for all of the 8 years. I learned my lesson the long hard way. Never again
I don't mean to be mean, but it always mystifies me how much time some women are willing to waste on a man. Eight years? I couldn't have given him 8 weeks! I think it's good, in a twisted way, that I had a narcissistic parent because the drained me of all endurance for a man like that.
It's true. And whenever I look at a cheating husband, his wife is waaaaayyyy out of his league.
The problem with me is that I’m not immediately physically attracted to any man. I have to get to know him first, and a man who’s kind grows on me does so, because he’s kind. Kindness will make me find what’s cute about him, but there are objectively great looking men who’s personality makes them ugly to me. The biggest issue is that ugly and handsome males all eventually act the same way. I don’t know if it’s just a modern thing, but all males I’ve met in the dating scene have been acting badly no matter what they look like or have financially. And there’s nothing worse than giving a guy who’s “beneath you” a chance and then to have him turn around and act just like the mean high school football star.😂
From an elder's perspective: it's not new @ all. We now have social media which spreads awareness. When I was young, there was a preponderance of social isolation, but listening to those elders as a child back when, the same complaints, but there were no options becuz Coveture laws.
I’m the same way after living and dating in Los Angeles. Lots of attractive men but a LOT of them are horrible to date. It really shifted my perspective and what I found attractive.
Dated both attractive and unattractive men. Still got hurt anyway. Didn't matter if they were broke or rich. Most men need to be honest with us instead of playing games
In the same way, but I’m done with men I don’t *find* attractive, because it sucks to develop feelings for a man only to never be attracted *to* them.
Just because you have intimacy with someone, doesn’t mean that that’s your man😭
"His eyes" and then proceeds to show the most deadpan eyes ever 💀
😂😂😂 I almost died
Lawd I was like I can only imagine what the rest of him looks like
I nearly hollered 😭😂😂
😭😭😭
If his eyes were the best feature.. I shudder to see the rest.
Had a neighbor tell me she was dating someone. Then proceeded to tell me he was ugly.then had a baby with him. How the hell does that make since. Desperation is a sad look.
LMAOOOO how desperate for love to you have to be to not just get with someone average but ugly. And I don’t even know if men can properly love
That baby going to have a hard life if it looks like dad only
Same... I had a ex soo called friend like that. She settled.
To be fair, when almost ALL men are ugly, it’s hard not to feel desperate. 😂
Okay ma'am. Ain't gotta tell me twice. Everytime I dated an ugly man, he'd tell me how I'm like a trophy to them, which I saw nothing wrong with, and yet they would go right ahead and tell me how I'm not skinny enough, my natural hair isn't good enough, and looking back how am I ,a 5'10 19 year old girl with all my options open, gonna let a 5'6 300+ 30 yo man tell me how I look isn't good enough🤨 this channel opening my eyes, thank God I found it now and not later
Not him being obese and having the audacity?!
Whew I’m happy for you, it’s great the younger girls have this information available
The older guys look for a much younger woman to mold into exactly who they want in looks and character. Best to stick to someone within 5 years of your age range as you enter your 20s. I've never been into the older ones, but even just by me cordially talking to them, two have assumed the interest was reciprocated and got jealous, insecure and controlling, giving unsolicited advice about my fashion. It's weird.
This is so true. Looks MATTER !!!! Don't settle ladies.
Yes. Went out with a man who wasn’t that attractive to me AND lied about his height. So everything he said afterwards, I found annoying. Any move he made to kiss me, I cringed. 😂
They're ALWAYS lying about their height.😂😂
I recently started doing this! Bodies that has to grow on you too 😫😮💨
They won't do it for us so why should we do it for them.
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
Yep. When i was younger (between 16-19) i was a bit overweight, i was also depressed and guys treated me like a second class citizen even tho i never tried to make a move on them, they could not stand the idea treating me like a normal person only bc they were not attracted to me. Yet, prettier girls were treated so much better, and friendzoned by them.
Thank you!
It’s my favorite line to my partner now 😂
And they call women hypergamous. SMH
The difference is that when men fail to get the hottest girl in the room they will usually settle for less. Women are far less likely to settle.
Y’all are🤷🏽
attraction to someone is the bare minimum I will never understand.
Same!
A good looking man can break your heart, and ugly man will hurt your heart and your ego. Mind you, most men would only have to dress better and have a good grooming routine to look more attractive and they won’t do the bare minimum to look more attractive!!! Nope, I tried dating for personality and it never ended well
If they want women that are out of their league, their pockets 💰 better match, because you’re going to have to help with their up keep. There’s a lot of factors and money that go into women looking good.
I'm not doing struggle face, body or love it's 2024 ladies get what u want he want settle when it comes to his pick
😅😅😅😅. This is new to me, men's faces grow on women?
@wance...whats de point? What we want doesn't exist anyway...
It’s not even just about looks. People need to stop settling for people who they aren’t feeling in general; whether it’s no chemistry, clashing personality traits, opposing cultural/religious views, opposing views about gender roles, values, finances, etc. Stop dating people you aren’t happy with just because they’re nice! That’s not enough! You’re being disingenuous to yourself and unfair to them in the end too! There’s a reason sparks don’t fly for you with certain people. You can find someone who’s a balance of everything you want in a partner, you don’t have to trade one for the other!
My Grandma always says Think about your DAUGHERS when you pick a man based on looks. Because she said she refused marrying an ugly man even despite the social pressures of her time. Not just for herself because she didnt want to wake up from a nightmare only to look at a night marish face but also because we live in a *society* and women do get judged and treated based on their looks, it affects their self worth and self esteem and it is unfortunelty also their social market value wether we like it or not (yes i hate it here) so she picked herself a pretty boy man. And lucky for my mom, aunt and uncle she did because they all ended up looking just like their father and are pretty. ANd besides looks he was also a great provider, active and enthusiatic hands on care taking father (there was no sepration of labour for him, he just did what needed to be done without needing to be told and was happy to do so, he was also an active grandad). Grandpa did not settle in any era looks, finances, personality, love (the man was a "simp" for my grandpa and he knew it and was happy to be). People keep telling women to respect themsleves and I agree but for different reasons not the "slut shaming reasons", but in terms of not settling, dont date people who are shady, not atttractive to you, but treat you great not good GREAT. A man that respects and honors you as a fellow human being and also as a woman he is dating. And honor and love wholisticaly body, mind, spirit and hear. I say if he is not a simp for you in your relationship what even is the point?
True! Women MUST date only with men, they find physically attractive. It's our bodies tell us something, that this man has good genes. When you date an unattractive man - you betray your offspring and mother nature.
EVERYTHING you said. If he's not a simp for you he's useless.
Needed this!! I'm tired of forcing shit with "men" that don't add any value nor want to grow with me...the correct one is gonna come someday
Because...men are not gonna date potential. He's not gonna wait for you to lose 20 kg or get your hair to butt length. He is gonna go for what he wants from jump!
I read the title and hollered. When I tell you EACH & EVERY TIME I’ve done that I regretted it. Those were the worst, untrustworthy, egotistical jerks. They literally chased me down just to be a**holes once we dated. Never again! I constantly tell my daughter to only date men you initially find attractive, because men will never compromise in that category.
From dating a dude I didn't think was cute, didn't think was nice, cheated on me the entire 2 years (found out after). I found a dude who cute af, sweet as sin, and GENUINELY want me to feel good... don't give dudes a chance who wouldn't give you a chance if the shoe was on the other foot.
How did you guys meet? That's amazing!! I don't know you but I'm so happy for you lol
Been there and done that 💀 never ever. 0/10 would NOT recommend.
This is how i got into a 2 year relationships with a verbally/emotionally abusive loser
Wanted to give a flipside to the argument: I feel like at first glance, people assume this about my bf and I. What they don’t know is that we instantly clicked on the first date and the attraction was just there. My friends don’t see why I find my man attractive on the surface, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t to me. If you find a good guy and YOU find him physically attractive, don’t let other people convince you otherwise. We all know what it’s like to not be into someone. So trust your gut to know the difference versus relying on social validation. I.e “will my friends/other people think he’s cute too”
it isnt really the flip side it is still on the same side of being attracted to the person you like not just personality wise but also physically. Yes, there is objectively good looking people based on the beauty standards and also unconventionally attractive people but on top of that people also have their individual things they are attracted to physically. The point is not get the hottest guy so your friends or peopel can be impressed with you or so that you can say you have the objectiely hottest guy. The point is stop forcing women date men they are not attracted physically (obviously also personaity wise but the video is focusing more on looks) and i 100% agree and I think you do to. Women shouldnt have to settle on attraction and have someones face grow on them or learn to love it. Like you said you and your man were attracted to each other from the get go that is perfect. How others perceive your attractivness is irrelant what is important is that you are attracted to the person. Because it is also settleing on looks if woman is coerced into dating idk Hugo boss model because "but he is objectively hot" eventhough she is not attracted to him.
I don't think this was the point of the video (though you are right). If YOU think the person is attractive, that's 100% the only thing that matters. I think this video is saying that some women will date men they don't even find attractive in the first place, and that leads to problems down the road. But again, you are right: social validation doesn't mean anything as long as you both are compatible.
Sweetie I'm almost forty years old, I'm done dating for potential in the looks department. If I find him repulsive, I'm not doing it, period! 🥴
This was my ex husband 😓😣🤦🏾♀️. All the guys who she asked about league were all 3 & 4's at best.😒😑
I should have taken my ex saying “you’re the hottest woman I’ve ever dated” and “you’re out of my league” as a red flag.
I remember having to argue my position that mens looks matter with friends and my mom and hearing the old " if he treats you well". First off, men never treat the same after marriage or dating for a while. So that guy who " had to grow on you" is now just ugly and your giving cheating a thought. And on top of that girls tend to like their dad. Why would I do my daughter dirty if I know her dad isn't attractive?
Just looking at most successful couples will tell you that people naturally date others equally as attractive as them. The most attractive people pair up, and the average looking people pair up. The below average people either date other below average people or spend their lives chasing people out of their league and wondering why it doesn’t work (it doesn’t work because they feel insecure all the time and let it destroy their relationship). Don’t be the girl they chase as some ego boost.
Looks are important but so is character and integrity! Most very attractive ppl KNOW that they are attractive! Therefore, they are NOT in a rush to settle down AND some are so vain that they believe that they can treat you any type of way because you should be glad to be with them!
Wholeheartedly support this message. A common theme I've noticed in this discourse is that dudes push back if women have choice AT ALL. So, there's a ton of social conditioning directed at women to settle in every aspect of life. As women have gained more financial independence in the last couple of generations, women are no longer required to settle for scraps simply to survive, so they aren't.
I say all this to say that yes, women absolutely should stop giving men a chance when she isn't genuinely into him. And if you happen to feel some kinda way when you actually reject someone or you get friends or the dude telling you you're too judgmental, just remember it actually is new in history for women to HAVE choice when it comes to men and learning anything new can be uncomfortable at first. Push back or discomfort doesn't make this approach wrong, and in fact should probably be expected. Women are definitely going against the grain when they hold firm to standards, which is a fantastic thing because the grain in question is oppression.
I made the mistake of trying to “work with” a dude I wasn’t incredibly physically attracted to because he was intelligent and funny and seemed nice; turns out he was a charlatan and I cussed him within an inch of his miserable life citing every flaw I observed about him. I was then angry with myself because I realized I lowered my standards…and for what? Fear that I couldn’t do better. The lies we believe and suffer from 😔
I only found 2 men in my entire life, attractive. They wanted nothing to do with me because I was too ugly for them. My ex husband had to grow on me for a while but in the end even he didn’t want me. And the guy was butt-ugly if I am being for real. If I limit myself to only just a “handsome prince charming” then there is no point in dating anyone. He’s not out there checking for me. Yes, there are people like me who finds 99.99% of all men repulsive. Even if they look somewhat alright, they say some dumb crap that turns me off for good. To me, a brilliant mind is much more important. That actually can get me going. Surface level stuff is temporary anyway. Looks fade.
I respect your opinion, but it only works if having a partner is a non-negotiable high priority in your life.
For a lot of women having a partner is now optional, they don't need one no matter the cost. So if they are fine alone, and a man would only be a bonus to their pre-existing happiness it makes sense they won't settle for someone they aren't attracted to.
And even though physical appearance wasn't a major factor for you you did admit to feeling attracted to your partner. Which is good, but most women cannot develop attraction based on intellect and personality even if it is good enough for you.
@@melchiorlise2466I was with you until you mentioned personality is not good enough. A man of good character is everything(and rare). If women can't find that attractive then that's on them.
@@LoveCompassionPurity Personality is very important, but it's not everything. Few people can develop attraction based on personality alone.
And I'd like to point out we only ask that of women and never of men. Men can admit to want an attractive partner, they can admit that they wouldn't date a woman who looks like Gollum, no matter how good she is personality wise.
It would do good for women to be allowed to say the same thing without being called shallow. Women are allowed to want to be attracted to their partner. They are allowed to want someone they are attracted to from the start and not someone they should make an effort to find attractive.
Either you find someone attractive or you don't, and if you don't it's ok you don't have to force yourself or wonder why that is, there's no "If you don't find personality attractive it's on you" bullshit.
Looks doesn't fade
@@LoveCompassionPuritywe are talking about physical attractiveness not being basic human
I literally did this with my child’s father. I wasn’t instantly attracted to him and he wasn’t my type (white guy, I prefer my people to be with it makes more sense to me lol) I tried to get over those feelings but his personality showed itself to match his looks too… I couldn’t stand that man, everything about him made me angry, and the things he was doing behind my back explained why I felt off about him. Attraction never grew it actually demised when he gained more weight than I did during my pregnancy and I didn’t even want him to touch me. I knew I was settling and I had to go.
My Ex‘s face grew on me and o found him pretty cute towards the end. Now if I see his photos o just wonder 😂
🤣🤣
I cried actual tears 😂when she showed 😭 his EYES 😂😂😂😂 CTFUUUUU....yes you are allowed to be attracted to the man in your life, i approve this message
DON'T DO IT GIRLS! DON'T DO IT 😭 I TRIED, THINGS DONT GROW ON YOU AND SEEING THEM ANGRY PISSES YOU OFF! 🚩🚩🚩🚩
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Oh shit I already did it.
I went Frida Kahlo:
"If i have to ask for it, I already don't want it "
I made a massive mistake of dating someone who always had a hat on, and after like a month of dating, I saw him without his hat for the first time, and he looked completely different and was balding. Like seriously looked so cute with the hat on, and looked totally different with it off and once I saw him without his hat, I was not nearly as attracted and just kind of talk to myself out of it. Mistake.
Does his name start with an A? 😂
😂don't kill me
Isn’t it sooo funny how they not reducing their standards but really shame women for not doing so 😂
This is so true, i used to feel bad for not giving them a chance cuz theyre ugly to me but i realised men dont think like that. They wouldnt even give time of day if they didnt find you attractive
Yep, don’t let _nobody_ talk You outta _YOUR_ preferences. ‘Cuz males ain’t gon’ compromise on theirs.😒😒🍷
And this is why I’m more inclined to date women if I ever decide to date again. I genuinely don’t like being shallow, but every man is shallow in some way. And I gotta worry about some dude that is less than in some way going out embarrassing me just cause. Plus there’s no such thing as an ugly woman so win-win 🥰
There’s a ton of ugly women , what are you talking about lol 😂
We’ve reached dating each other 😂😂. My grandma was right to leave these men alone.
@@loisamy15 I mean why not? If we want love and care then I see no reason why we can’t give it to each other 🤷🏾♀️ better than waiting on the ex-whys to figure life out. We’ll all be 6 feet under by then 😂 Plus physical intimacy isn’t that important anyway. We can pour into ourselves and other in a multitude of ways. And yes your grandma was smart. I wish I listened to the elder women sooner!
Don't,please,and don't date
Oh yea i learned this the hard way 😂
This!!! Many women do this rubbish. Attraction+ Character. Both or nothing.
Lol Frfr cuz people deserve someone who sees them and gets doll eyed… if you have to fight to smile when they look at you then you’re doing both of yourselves a disservice
But the attractive men can stilk treat you like shit. We women should be the main character and don't settle for any type of male that doesn't respect us or that doesn't take active steps for a emotional,respectul and wholesome relashionship.
Men will treat you like crap if they are crap,it doesn't matter if they are attractive or ugly, so why would you settle for an ugly guy anyway?
Find someone that’s align with your values , standards and dreams
Dont be with people for their potential, be with them if youre 100% in.
I learned this lesson way too late! Wasted too much time! Don’t do it!
For the second girl that claims that she wasn’t attracted to the guy she dated last year why are you keeping a photo of him? If you’re not attracted to if I’m not attracted to someone I’m not gonna keep a picture of him
Maybe she is keeping that picture to remind herself how stupid she was and to NEVER settle again.
Because she could have forgotten to delete it? It could have been a photo saved in the text message history she had with her friends. Or she could have gotten it from his social media.
I’ve heard a woman say some things I understand: she absolutely loved everything else _(height, grooming, style, behavior, lifestyle, personality, health consciousness, hobbies, values, how they treat them &!others etc )_ to the point it would be highly unlikely to ever find anyone she LOVES everything else about perfectly.
Then she ended it by saying something like “when women’s husbands getelderly we all probs will go through having to allow his new face to grow on us” - that part seems really true. So I get it in some people’s situations
I bet she don't love everything about how he treats her and others
Men with pretty faces sometimes do not pay bills
Ugly ones don't either. 🥴
I lost it at "pockets that need to grow on you" lol. 😂
This idea of someone growing on you comes from back when ppl were arranged marriage. And the bible, I think, if someone has all these bad features look for the positive and compilment their good feature.
Yeah, you shouldn't have to close your eyes to get through it. Was catfished by a guy who looked nothing like the picture he posted, like at all. Might be the only decent picture he took and it didn't look like him. BTW he turned out to be a serious jerk and he had the nerve to criticize me based on appearance when I uploaded a real picture of myself. Remember his picture wasn't even close. Later found out he was talking to many women. Glad I got out of that. And some of these women he was talking too contacted me, so yeah karma. And he kied about how much money he made. Hell he just lied about everything. Women get medsage we should be the "beyter" person and let giys to grow on us. Yeah, men do not do that. Why should we? Nope.
When you said "yes that thing down there." 😅🤣😂 I just busted out laughing!!
Stop letting things grow on you. Great advice.💯💜🥳
💡
😂🤣😂🤣😂 Been saying this for forever! I'm not about to fight what God preinstalled in me 😆 #Attraction101 #NaturalChemistry
If i am not attacted to a guy,i am not interested in his personality, i wont buy a product that i dont find appealing but i have to settle with a human being who i have 0 attraction to? And God doesnt approve of dating, he approves of Marriage!
Ladies, just to make sure you learn some self-defense and carry a weapon so that you are safe when you say no.
I need to like the whole package. A nice face and physique won't save a crappy personality 😂
Then again I married a guy who wasn't my type necessarily, but he's got a cute face, a good personality and an amazing ass 😁
duh 😂
Honey chuck it up, you settled and he grew on you 😂🙄😐
Even if you’re the one they want, they still treat you like you not shit 🤣 then cry abt it when the bag gets fumbled. Shouldn’t tried to have a boss contest w a vet!!
Facts 😂
I think being hung up on looks is one of the many reasons relationships fail. However, I can understand refusing to entertain someone you are not attracted to.
Girl! 😂😂 I needed this laugh, thank you! ❤
You are so welcome❤️❤️
Been there done that by the last two men i dated. They are not even attractive but they screwed up and dumped & ghosted me 😂 me being with them elevated their status to other women and ego boost
That's why I say NEVER claim a man. Women don't understand how much free promotion we give these bastards by even letting them talk to us in public.
I don't let men post me on social media and I make it clear I don't want others knowing we deal with each other. I refuse to let a musty ass male get any play off of my face. When you're a really pretty woman or you take damn good care of yourself financially you have to really watch out for that shit.
Don't do it, its embarrassing for him in the bedroom 🫣
💯 Most men resent having to use their personality to compensate for their looks. The mask will fall off and you will be disappointed. Only date men you are attracted to! I’ve been living this and say this for years and people use to argue me down trying to convince me to settle for a man I’m not attracted to 😂😂😂 I will either be with a man I’m attracted to on all levels or single.
I love this! I’ll for sure be checking my “pick me” flags 😅
No cause i always thought this they date ugly/less attractive man bc they think he'll never cheat and he gon treat me right. Just to get stepped over, please just date who u are really attracted to not who u think will treat you better.
This is partially why I love being a lesbian. 90% of women are _gorgeous._ I have such a crush on my girlfriend ❤🥰
You hit a new level of commentary with "down there that has to grow on you" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. I had to listen again to make sure I heard you correctly 😂
Its literally Jimmy and Chelsea from love is blind. All over again.😂
Have to grow on you!!! 😂😂😂 This lady is so right.
When someone says this...I say leave them alone. It's not fair and waste of time. You will have a child you will resent, the child will detect it. *I see it especially with colorism generationally in families*
Im all about minding my own business. Date all the zeros u want not my problem.
Bay-beeee, the howl I made when I saw the title of this video!! 😂😩
Ok..like what you like..that's always been my motto!!
Done this before, never again 😅 I beat myself up after he disrespected me.
The lady who said she only liked his eyes. 😅
4:08 I’m mad I can envision what this man looks like even with most of his face covered 🤣🤣
Girl at 2:50 has the most gorgeous eyes and shape of eyes!!! Soooo pretty!!!!
Ikr! I wanted to comment they remind me of cow eyes but didn't want it to seem rude. I find cows to have the prettiest eyes lmao, my chihuahua has big hazel eyes and those are my favorite. I don't care for the blue hues bc they remind me of fish 😅
@@Beeboop7 cows do be having the most beautiful eyes! lol kind of crazy but yeah because they even have long eyelashes. I live by some cows and even the babies sometimes get in long eyelashes and they are so cute!
Are we talking about physical attributes (I'm assuming) or non-tangible attributes? If it's physical nobody is out of my league.....who's out of my league? Nobody. And I date both men and women. Stop that. Confidence
Rewatch the men "out of my league clip" FACTS. COMMIT IT YOUR SOUL