@@marina_remember7117 pfft... please tell me you are being equally sarcastic in this comment..? I mean, you watch Sam, so you must get that sarcasm and general smart assedness is expected in their everyday experience. (Edit: ok, sorry. Just noticed the :) at the end of your comment. I was thinking "for reals? Do you know who's video you clicked on, my dude?")
i'm not even one minute into the video and i'm already laughing with matt's entrance lmao "why are we doing this if we're not ready? where's the camera? *looks up to the sky?*" 😂
Wow. Who knew Matt was such a sweet, sweet young man. I figured he was a good guy but I'm so happy to hear what a lovely, thoughtful husband and father he is. It was really touching to hear about his experience during and after labor. 🥰
I know I was surprised at how emotionally intelligent he was. And how loving and kind he was. Most men have a little bit of asshole in them … I say that in the most loving and endearing way. It seems to come with the testosterone. But he is masculine in a very loving gentle way.
Everyone that wants kids or just having a child needs to see this. This an absolute spot on depiction of what mom/wife individual life feels like. Not one lie told! Yes Sam yes!
Sam. I’m so glad you are adult enough and brave enough to put this info out there. I felt so alone when hearing other people talk about sex after pregnancy and kids and it wasn’t my experience. I love hearing how you and Matt communicate and what you have done to make improvements. I so appreciate what you put out there.
As someone who is gonna have kids in a few years because I want to have a baby but I'm also terrified of having a baby, it does genuinely bring me comfort to hear someone talk about ut very very honestly. I know my experience could and will be very very different to Sam's or Kristi's or any of my other favs who have now journeyed into parenthood, it helps to hear the good and the bad.
I’m literally a college student who isn’t even thinking of having kids yet, but “giving it your all is going to look different day to day” is such a good reminder for all of us when we’re struggling, mentally or physically ❤️
I was thinking the same thing. A lot of what she said struck a nerve in me that was like “well duh, don’t be so hard on yourself” about just generally struggling through life. She has a good way of putting things like that.
Sam is one of the only people that get me to sign up for push notifications when she posts. Notifications are the bane of my existence, but I would do backflips to support Sam. 😂
Sam i feel like the "moody" lighting is actually so much better! usually your videos just seem a little washed out to me. i tend to tilt my laptop back when i watch your videos bc theyre so bright lol. love ur video as always
Matt is so sweet, bless his heart. And as a childfree by choice woman, I love watching these videos. I love learning about the experiences other women/people with wombs have, and I feel like it's talked about way too little. I'm constantly sending out the other post-partum videos you've made to friends of mine going through the same stuff. Love you!
I'm also childfree yet fascinated with pregnancy, labor, and early childhood. Even if I weren't, somehow this video was still relatable...like, if you replaced "baby" with "issues stemming from neurodivergence/mental illness," some of these points are still relevant 😅
Coming from your newest relationship video where Matt talks about his attachment style and how he processes things........ I could relate so much to him. It felt incredibly profound to hear someone else say the shit that goes on in my head - where I want to just dip and run half the time, and the things I do to my partner without really realizing it, like avoiding exploring my own feelings about things and bottling everything up. I knew I had a more complicated attachment style - but I'm definitely buying Attached per Matt's recommendation, because of how much it seemed to help him see things more clearly. Seriously, Matt I hope you know you have helped at least one person from that video. Thanks.
I ripped up so my “good” spot is now gone. Everything is different 6 years later and I still have pain and have no place for pleasure anymore. It happens to a lot of us. My sex drive is gone but I still have this relationship I still feel obligated to maintain. It’s very scary and sad. It happens to many of us. We don’t talk about it so thanks for giving a healthy place to.
Also, I am so sorry that happened to you. That sounds like an incredibly traumatic situation and I hope only the best for you moving forward. “Women are born with pain built in” is a quote from Fleabag that has only resonated more with me as I get older.
So sorry, my suggestion even though I do not have any experience that is similar to yours is to try something different? Different position or combination of stimulation, I’ve been through pain before and I told my boyfriend and we just did a little at a time until mentally I stated to feel like yes this feels good, and then you get excited to do a little more. Very slow steps. Besides women have the most pleasure in the clitoris. Idk if I helped but I think much much much of womens pleasure and pain comes from the mind and how we imagine the intimate time, how we mentally feel during this time. For men it’s physical soooo much for women it’s both physical and mental and I know for me more mental. If mentally I am not happy and not in the state of mind where I’m open. In state of mind , pain, dislike , resentment , loss , change, wishing to go back , not accepting oneself , that all takes away from pleasure. I don’t know what injuries you had and how they healed but I hope maybe being open to trying something different and slowly could bring more pleasure. Dim lights , candles , scents that relax in the room. Soft music. Body Massage ! That’s all intimacy and you could start there. I hope maybe I help. ❤️
@@missjoasia123 thank you. My underwear touching me the wrong way hurts. (I just quit wearing them 😂 )Wiping after peeing hurts. Everything hurts. Sitting hurts , standing hurts. Lol it’s really bad. The best way I know how to explain it , is like tooth nerve pain. My nerves are so badly exposed - if you touch my clit , it’s shoots through me like electricity. Similar to how something really hot or cold would shock you when it touches a tooth nerve. Friggen misery. 😂 I honestly just have to laugh bc if not I’ll cry. Haha.
Yes I do love this - I worry sometimes when I see people over-posting their children when they can’t consent to that kind of exposure. This is so real and raw and respectful I don’t have kids or plan on having them soon but it’s so nice hearing another woman speak so vulnerable and eloquently about these topics
I love that you and Matt do weekly check-ins. It's very admirable and since it is a safe space you can keep the lines of communication open with your spouse. I'm going to try and implement something like this in my own relationship. Also, I like that you mentioned that you two got closer not because you had a child but, because you saw the need to communicate more. I appreciate the great video.
I’m writing down the weekly check in questions to use with my own partner! I so appreciate you sharing the specific questions you use. It makes it seem less daunting when you have pointed example questions rather than just trying to conceptualize a “weekly check in.” Edit: For reference, I don’t have kids. Just trying to foster the best communication I can with my partner! I think I this is super helpful for couples in general, and a fantastic habit to get into for when times get tough. Will definitely keep this in my back pocket for down the road if/when a bébé is in the cards though!
@@jessicasarahmonday the early days are INTENSE. The only way out is through, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need support and I hope you’re getting it. I’m sending you so much love, and from where I am three years in I promise it does get better 💗
@@perla2642 Was there anything left unsaid that you’d like to circle back to? What was something I said or did that made you feel loved or appreciated? What stressed you out this week? How can I better support you? What’s going well this week? Fave moment this week?
I loved his approach to this as well, it seemed like he was really aware of his feelings as well as Sam’s and baby’s. What a man, I’m so happy to see them grow and learn together through this experience and I’m really glad Sam is sharing some of this with us it’s truly such quality content and important for all people with the capacity or desire to get pregnant, this is about health ultimately.
Is it for the reason he said? That his body and mind have moved on to other things now that he's impregnated his partner and there's a little family unit he has to take care of?
“If we don’t do the dishes who gives a fuck?” I love it!!!! Like FR people need to stop putting so much pressure on mothers. I see people saying “oh cleaning the kitchen is me time you should try it” I mean if you enjoy cleaning then go ahead. If that’s what bring you joy but, stop romanticizing cleaning as a way of self care. Loved the video and how honest you are!!!
Right? Especially since you would never see men saying cleaning is their me time. Dads often get actual me time while moms are made to feel like having a shower alone or going to the grocery store alone is their "me time." 🙄
@@kenetrice my husband loves to clean. He does say it’s his me time to de-stress. He kicks me out of the house so he can spend his me time cleaning. I don’t think there are a lot of men who feel that way but my husband doesn’t have any sisters so his mom raised all her sons to clean their house every Saturday in its entirety. There are men who like to clean. They do exist is all I’m saying.
This “ guy” is a keeper, a gem, a real man, super dude 🏆🏆🏆the weekly check ins, as you said on neutral ground, days later, is an excellent idea for every couple , and along with therapy a much needed weekly investment into your future and your little guy🥰as a elementary school teacher , I wish all couples would follow your guidelines for a healthy relationship . The parents and the child always blossom if this work is done , without feeling like work 🌺as a mom of twins, I simply felt like a milk machine with anemic waves of low iron , tbh 🥰thank you for this 💐💐
I have been a very cynical person but this video makes me want to get married and have kids. Something about this is very genuine and heart warming at the same time… ok bye
On the body image issue, I had a C-section because our baby was breech. For months, I couldn’t bring myself to touch or look at my scar. It just really bothered me. But my husband told me once that he’s grateful for it because it meant that our baby was born safely and I was safe during the birth too. Seriously changed my perspective. Does it still bother me to see it sometimes? Yes. But it makes me grateful sometimes too.
you are soo refreshing, its so hard to find people that are confident enough to speak on the good, the bad, and the ugly. so many youtubers only speak on the very best of their life, you realize that a highlight reel includes every aspect and challenge
THIS should be the video that people watch before having babies not that what to expect when ur excepting shit...this is real and honest and so freaking relatable...had I watched this before my first baby i feel things would have gone better for me lol thank u for sharing ❤
When you said something about “it’s not like I was changing my baby on top of a f***ing sarcophagus…” I died laughing. And I had abdominal surgery two days ago. You are a treasure. Truly. I’m still chuckling.
This video is spot on. Holy shit. You said everything i’ve ever thought about since becoming a mom. 🤯 I remember one of my friends who had her first baby before me told me, “as soon as you get comfortable and in a routine, your baby is gonna switch it up and you learn to adapt.” And that has stuck with me ever since. It’s helped me tremendously with adjusting to new stages, challenges, etc. Thank you for all of your honesty, Sam. This is what new moms need to hear…and really, everybody. So so important.
I’m 26 and had my first child a week ago. Thank you for this video. I can’t tell you how much I related to 90% of what you said. Particularly with not wanting to lose my identity and become just a mom. I struggled with that so much when I found out I was pregnant. Especially being that I finally got my body almost to where I wanted it to be for the first time in my life fighting being overweight. It helps knowing someone else has felt these things. You’re awesome and I’m sure I’m not the only one who appreciates these kinds of down to earth videos from TH-camrs.
Thank you for being so open. If you’re okay with sharing, would you ever be open to sharing how and why the beginning of your relationship with Matt was so tough (as you’ve mentioned previously) and how you both got to such a healthy place? Secondarily, would you be open to talking more about the business side of Auric? That would be fascinating!
I just love all of this so much. My heart is lighter hearing you express so many of the thoughts I’ve had myself. Especially about the mom identity and losing myself- I feel like when I was pregnant it felt like a walking billboard to everyone around me : “this woman only thinks about babies and you’ll never hear another sensible word out of her”. But my experience with my first child has been so much richer than that. Sure I’m a mom and that comes before a LOT of things that used to take precedence in my life. But it hasn’t swallowed me whole. I still like all the things I used to like. I’m just getting better at sacrificing them for the well-being of the family.
Matt and Sam I wanted to comment on your video but comments were turned off so I'm guessing people were not being kind... I wanted to let you both know how brave and helpful you both are. I gained so much insight into my relationship. I appreciate the book recommends also. Thank you.
You might have mentioned this at some point, but please know that pelvic physical therapy exists and it can help woman to return to functional activities (including sexual intimacy) postpartum.
Absolutely! Pelvic floor PT was a game changer for me. It’s not talked about nearly enough and I honest to goodness believe that every person should at least be assessed by a pelvic floor physical therapist after birth. It’s an intense experience for the body and changes stuff you wouldn’t even expect.
Wow that is such a candid video. You spoke about things that no one would speak about and tell about to a childless person and its much appreciated. Thank you very much! You are amazing
You’re absolutely beautiful, and kind hearted and so open and I appreciate the fact you are sharing these personal and intimate experiences with us. It makes it so much easier to accept that it’s not JUST me that feels certain things that I’ve been telling myself that it was just me for years and years! Thank you for sharing, Sam!
I gave birth to my first baby 3 1/2 months ago. Watching this video makes me feel so seen and understood 🙏🏻 I’m always thankful for your content, but this one is really special.
FAVORITE VIDEO EVER? Im so glad you can share this with us because it's true. Everything You said it's the most common situations and for some reason we always feel like the odd ones out... I'm grateful for your content. I always find myself in awe at how much we can still relate to a person we used to watch online like 7 years ago. It's amazing. That's why I'm still here. Love you and your honesty always. Thank you and much love!
I am feeling the exact same way about my body after having my baby. I still find it hard to see myself as a sexual being too. You explained it wayyyy better than I ever could. I honestly feel relief that I’m not the only one feeling this way.
Hi Sam. I thought of you yesterday when I was having my annual Pap... isn't that sweet? I totally relate with your cervix problems. When I was pregnant with my third, I had an irregular Pap. My doc said once I gave birth and recovered (the 6 week appt), she needed to do a Colposcopy. So, right after I recovered, I got tore up from the floor up again... and then had a LEEP procedure. 6 months later I had another irregular Pap, Colposcopy and a LEEP again. Needless to say, once I recovered I had back to back to back procedures meaning our sex life was essentially over. I felt broken and damaged and I was either pregnant, giving birth, recovering, or getting a procedure for 2 years. I'm happy to say, I've had my second clear Pap in 2 years. That's why I thought of you. We're like the same, except I'm way older :) Know that there is light. You have a supportive partner, and that's like THE MOST important thing.
This is so nice to read this! I had a third degree tear, then an irregular pap smear, so a colposcopy happening tomorrow at nine months postpartum. Also need to have a colonoscopy soon as my sister was diagnosed with colon cancer. Blah, blah, anyway, I'm glad you survived the meddling after you probably just wanted to be left the hell alone a bit! 😊
Wow that sounds like you went through so much! That’s really nice of you too to share your experience so others can identify. I’m sending you big hugs and hoping you’re doing better these days!
I'm so glad you said you don't invite mom guilt. Like, I'm not trying to sound condescending, but I don't understand it. If you care enough to have guilt, you're probably a good mom. Crackheads abusing kids aren't sitting there worrying. Like I remember visiting a site called babycenter and hearing some of the guilt and I'm just here like....why would you do this to yourself. Like I swear you'd hear stuff like " my baby is playing alone for 10 mins and he's content, but I'm crying because I feel I'm neglecting him" . I think society is too soft now. People always are shocked at how independent my kids are. My 3 year old can play by himself all day ( I don't let that happen but he can). It's OK to let a kid cry for a second, it's OK to let your kid be bored. Being bored is GOOD. It fosters independence, creativity, and self assurance. Don't get me started on the breastfeeding nazis guilting moms with studies that oversimplify and overhyped the benefits ofbreastfeeding, to the point that women rsther buy breastmilk from a stranger, without knwoing the nutritional content of their diet, and thus their milk, than give formula. As a scientist ( now a stay at home mom), the studies are incredibly hard to replicate, for instance, is it breastmilk itself that is reasonable for the slightly higher IQ, or is it the fact that most people who breastfeed have higher IQs statistically themselves. Or the whole " breast is best". Sure, maybe years ago when people weren't eating like shit, but the nutritional profile of breastmilk has gone down quite alot. Also, the antibody argument is also flawed. I don't want to get oo much in the physiology and biochemistry aspect, but basically, the very few benefits are in the first 3 to 6 months max. Even the ear infection argument only shows a 2% increase. I'm so passionate about this because I'm sick of moms putting their babies in danger because they don't want to give them formula. And I'm sick of women killing themselves to breastfeed. My first attempt was a failure. So guess what ? I didn't even try the second time. Went straight to formula and God damn I'm happy and my baby is literally thriving. If you can do it, great, but if you can, seriously stop the guilt trips, it's not good for you or your baby.
“the more you avoid your life, the more it will contribute to that feeling” omg. i don’t even have a kid but have been struggling mentally with anxiety & depression/getting so anxious to make plans & get out there & this helped me so much 😭 thank you for this video. ❤️
I love, love, love these real conversations to spread awareness, offer different perspectives, and eliminate some of the stigmas around postpartum. I don’t have children myself but I loved watching and listening to these conversation.
I always get so much from these kinds of videos of yours, Sam. I love and 'get' the way your mind works. You're such a clear thinker and communicator. You'd be an excellent teacher, mentor. Your product line is extraordinary
the *not* avoiding doing the things you enjoyed or errands etc before becoming a parent, because of the added difficulty of brining baby along is literally the best piece of parenting advice ever. i’ve been a mom for almost 7 years now, and i’ve made my life SO. MUCH. harder by doing this for so long
thank you for being so open and honest. Ive never been able to talk about my body openly and on the internet at that.... i truly appreciate you sharing these things as always. It will help so many people
26:36… thank You!!!! I’ve been having a lot of negative experiences running errands with my Federal Service dog because of a disability. And i keep pushing myself because it seems as though 1:3 times out someone negatively injects themselves into my day to distract my dog - not allowing her to do her job of paying attention to me to give me signals if one of my symptoms is about to act up. I cried during yesterdays outing and even when I got home.. which was cathartic bc normally I’m not a crier. But I met a compassionate woman after the bad situation and she hugged me. Actually it helped a lot. And today’s talk is reminding me about the importance of getting back on the horse as often as you can… because you’ll increase your chance of positive experiences. Thank you!!!! And… you are right, your lip conditioner is bomb!! I carry it with me room to room (i work from home.)
i’m watching this while i’m ordering my babies cap & gown portraits … enjoy this time, i can tell you are! time truly does seem to fly by so fast. i feel like i just watched him walk his first steps a year ago and he’s graduating high school next month. i’d love to have done some things different, i was a v scared and clueless young mom…but i’m so grateful i can look at my son and see i helped make this great human exist. best of luck to you and any other new or soon to be moms. 💛
I love this video so much and the love you and Matt have for your baby is evident. The balance that you both shared show how much you’re both committed to a healthy loving family!! Love the Sunday check in’s. I’ve followed you since before Batalash and I’m so happy for you!! Thanks for being so open!’
Hey Sam, if you can do me a favor and never delete any of these videos so I can refer back to them when I'm a mom/partner, that would be much appreciated. I love the way you communicate and the information you share seems so relatable and honest. Plz keep these forever!
I think after seeing a lot of post partum experiences and the actual birth, it still scares the living hell out of me. I know I would manage but still is the sheer fear of not being able to care for a baby, and the mess and all that, with the ocd and anxiety disorder I suffer, it scares me I will hate being a parent. I want to but I’m scared of it, I know my husband would be amazing but still 😢
I feel very similar! Like I feel confident I would be a good parent, as well as my husband being a great father, but the whole having a kid thing is terrifying to me
I'm exactly the same. I feel like the ship has passed for me now tbh. I don't think I will. I'm seeing and hearing horror stories every single day online.
mom of 2 here. Had the same anxiety issues during pregnancy but I SWEAR: As soon as birth begins the mother instinct kicks in like nothing u have seen before. It is truly a miracle. I really have no logical explanation but you just WILL KNOW what to do in any given situation. It is pure insanity.
@@BethHartSmith exactly that! Is the ordeal, I know it sounds ridiculous to most people but for me, a messy room, the lack of sleep and overall responsibility is what scares me the most. In my head is better to not have a child if I will be remorseful of having it later on if I find the situation intolerable. But at the same time I love seeing my nieces, and nephews grow, being children basically. Is awful 😭🙃
@@lizziebeggimbo I also often think the same, I’m 34 and like I feel the pressure of “getting pregnant before 35” but the horror stories I find in the web is like 😵💫😵💫😵💫
Always admire you for your raw honesty, Sam! Hearing Matt's views on things was really nice too. I'm glad you are all doing well. ❤️ I'm not a mom and I have no desire to be. It actually made so much sense about what you said with breast-feeding wherever you want. I never really thought about how awful it is to make a mom go elsewhere (especially somewhere gross like a bathroom) just to feed the baby. Being a female, I couldn't care less if someone does it openly. That's totally your right. But I just wanted to say I appreciated hearing that "mini rant." Lol
Make this required viewing before baby comes. You put so much into words that I couldn’t even really describe to other people. My LO is 19 months and I sooooo feel the missing how easy it is to just pick up and go, especially as we go out more as the world opens up again. It’s been really hard for me to accomplish things because I’m the same way in thinking “well, I just won’t do ____” because it’s so much. My daughter LOVES outings though, so I’m glad that’s a motivator to get me out there more
You are just the most amazing, genuine person on TH-cam. Hearing about your guys relationship, Matt’s respect for you, and your weekly check-ins 🥺 such a beautiful loving relationship. Wish you and your family nothing but the absolute best Sam ♥️ been watching you for yearssss now and you only get better.
2.5 months postpartum and you’ve totally hit it on the head! Thanks for sharing your experiences. Also your other videos about postpartum have really helped me feel like I’m not the only one going through it.
I just wanted to say thank you for not editing your photos on Instagram. Fellow acne faced angel and well....yeah....its nice to see other ppl still out here rocking it and not photoshopped into oblivion. Also- what you said in this is so true. The biggest mental block I had post partum was and is definitely seeing my body parts that were specifically employed for certain aspects in baby making as also able to be sexual. Lord such a struggle they never talk about
So many things to relate to here! it’s so nice to not feel alone, I also had a LEEP about 4 months after my baby was born. As a pelvic floor physical therapist I would highly recommend you find one nearby for an evaluation. Pain during or after sex does not need to persist postpartum!
My baby is 13 months old and I had significant tearing so I resonate with a lot of this. Something that I want to shout from the rooftops to every single birthing person is the benefits of pelvic physical therapy. I had to go during my pregnancy for symphysis pubis (pelvic girdle) pain and I learned about all the ways that the pelvic health specialists can assist after birth and during the postpartum recovery journey. My therapist not only helped me through rebuilding my pelvic floor strength and assessing me for diastasis recti, but she was able to work on the scar tissue related to the vaginal tearing and helped me enjoy sex again. She was gentle and kind and helped me restore my sex life at my own pace. SEX DOES NOT HAVE TO BE PAINFUL AFTER BIRTH. Women have been told for centuries that that’s just “the way it is” after birth and sex just won’t ever be the same and it does not have to be that way. There are resources and there is help and you can enjoy sex again if you want that for yourself. Search for pelvic health physical therapy and be kind to yourselves ❤️
Allow me to climb up there and shout with you! To think it took me almost two years postpartum to even realize this was an option for me. I wish that every single pregnant person had pelvic floor PT put on their radar, but I think that’s not the case for many if not most.
I am not a mom nor do I ever want to be but I think learning about the post partum experience is extremely interesting and important to talk about 💜 Thank you so much for sharing, Sam
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. So few women share how they're doing - how they're REALLY doing - and what it's truly like for them. Even close friends only shared the joy. So, from one mum to another - thank you.x
SAM!!!!! Thank you for this. Every time I watch your content, I feel such relief. I struggle in a lot of the same areas you touch on, and it causes BIG self-doubt in my abilities to be a parent in the future. You're such a reasonable and capable person - I'm so glad you share your life and experiences with us.
i love that you are so open with sharing your journey in therapy, couples therapy, and with your process of treating your depression in general. everybody talks about mental illness nowadays but there is still so little focus on treatment and it is always so great to hear someone normalize things like needing to go to couples therapy and working to communicate better when the message we get so often is that you either communicate well or you aren't right for each other. it is so frustrating that in this larger conversation about mental health things seemed to be framed in such a way where accepting your struggles with mental illness means being resigned to the fact that you are unwell and that is just how life will always be. it is so nice hearing someone confirm that there is something you can do and you can get better. it took me so long to finally snap out of it and seek treatment and it wasn't until someone i admired very publicly shared their story about finding the right medication and doing their work that i finally found the courage to take that step. so every time you talk about your mental health and all the ways that you are using the things you've learned in therapy and how much you've been able to get better i just know that there are people who will watch your videos and see how far you've come and decide that they can do it too. you rock and thanks for sharing :)
so interesting watching this.. the parts about the spiral of thoughts that prevent you from doing things that were once simple (outings, a phone call, etc) is so so similar to general anxiety disorder (my experience atleast). There's about 10+ different reasons or obstacles we tend to foresee and worry about just for running a simple errand. In therapy, we're often told the worst thing you can do is listen, fall victim to those spirals, and stay put. The best, & most difficult, thing to do is to DO THE THING. Acknowledge the thoughts... it's okay to be worried or scared but DO IT ANYWAY. With a lot of mental health issues, if we don't go through the motions (in spite of our brains), simple things feel less and less possible
You’re such a FN G!!!! Love your channel and I feel it keeps getting better and better. I gave birth to my first baby (son) Aug 2021 and I love how you’re talking about life PP
I love the exercise you do with Matt. Definitely going to incorporate this into my relationship with my partner. Thank you for sharing your responses to some of the viewer questions
What you said about changing how you view your body because it served a greater purpose is so spot on to how I felt after having my first child and it saying that makes me feel something I don’t even know how to describe. I had a difficult time wanting and connecting with sex with my ex husband plus I had bad depression. I value this video of yours so much, thank you for having this conversations!!
I absolutely love the weekly sit downs you have as a couple, I think that is such a great exercise to have in a relationship. Thank you for sharing all of this
Love your videos together, guys! And, this is an important conversation- postpartum realness is so necessary in this day and age and not talked about enough. I tell myself that I click sups fast on your videos for your wit and overall badassery, but it's because of how amazing you are at approaching these subjects: objectively, eloquently and full of realness. You kween. ♥
I've been a quiet long time follower and I've loved how you developed your career here on TH-cam. I just had my first baby 4 days ago and your videos have been amazing. I re watch them all the time for reassurance, especially when it comes to motherhood, breastfeeding and overall mental health. Love you Sam ❤️
this is the most real, authentic, helpful video there is on youtube honestly, not only about having a baby but being in a relationship and what a marriage means. i really appreciate this video. ♥️
So much of your family content does not specifically apply to me yet but I love learning about your experience anyway. I still take away things that I can apply like the relationship check in with my own relationship so thank you for this content. It’s super cool to me to have access to. Wishing you well ❤
The check in questions! I LOVE that. Provides a great segway for bringing things up and you have those questions in the back of your mind throughout the week to reflect on your feelings.
Sam thank you for making these. I had a baby about 6 months before you and these videos have been so self assuring and makes me feel like I wasn't as alone in the craziness of postpartum. In my opinion its been your most meaningful content and I am very thankful for it! Good luck too
not pregnant, not looking to try anytime soon but absolutely love your videos about pregnancy/ post birth. They seem so real and honest, not glamorized. Watching your videos make me feel like I at least have 1% knowledge about how life will be after having a baby and I think it will help me to prepare myself and my relationship. Also love hearing your views on letting go and being kind to yourself as a mother/ person.
I literally have the exact same feeling and kinder about postpartum and sex and body image. It's so so hard to explain but you really explained it well! Thankful for supportive husbands/partners 🙌🏼
I love this!❤️I am 47 with two teenagers, one being a senior in HS. I’ve had a full hysterectomy, gall bladder removal & went through two rounds of chemotherapy & radiation after a diagnosis of colon cancer all in less than 5 years. My sex drive “drove off”a cliff & I don’t care, LOL 😂 I’ll tell anyone, I have better things to do 😘💋❤️Love your channel!
Man I definitely cried through some of this. Just such an honest perspective on what postpartum feels like and great reminders to not be so hard on ourselves! Thank you for putting this together and showing the non “Instagram” version of motherhood! ❤️
As a person that is not pregnant, but wants to have a baby, but is terrified to be a parent… you have no idea how helpful this is to hear. Hearing this makes me feel a bit more confident in making this decision when I’m ready.
Wow Sam you literally said it so perfect. When I found out I was pregnant I was struggling heavily with the thought of just being a mom. I told my partner “ I don’t wanna just be a mom” and it confused him because obvi I’m pregnant, but you took the words right out of my mouth! it’s hard to leave behind your “single-ness” before you become a parent. It’s scary to think you have to lose things like yourself and identity.
I watched one of your videos over a year ago where you talked about how your therapist said for you to be more compassionate towards yourself and I have carried that with me!
“I wasn’t journaling at that time..” i can def see how you two are together just in that statement.
I DIED at that part 😂😂
Why? Are they both journaling a lot normally?:)
@@marina_remember7117 the sarcasm lol
@@marina_remember7117 pfft... please tell me you are being equally sarcastic in this comment..? I mean, you watch Sam, so you must get that sarcasm and general smart assedness is expected in their everyday experience. (Edit: ok, sorry. Just noticed the :) at the end of your comment. I was thinking "for reals? Do you know who's video you clicked on, my dude?")
@@Khaleesi_Of_Kittens ...
Am I a mom? No. Will I have kids anytime soon? No. But here I am watching so enthralled.
Hahaha same
Same!!
Literally me
also me lol
Me lmao
“It’s everything that I am, but not all that I am.” I’ve never heard someone describe my experience with motherhood in a more perfect way
i'm not even one minute into the video and i'm already laughing with matt's entrance lmao "why are we doing this if we're not ready? where's the camera? *looks up to the sky?*" 😂
I laughed…SO HARD…when Matt said “I wasn’t really journaling at the time, so” it’s so apparent why y’all work as a couple lmfao
Wow. Who knew Matt was such a sweet, sweet young man. I figured he was a good guy but I'm so happy to hear what a lovely, thoughtful husband and father he is. It was really touching to hear about his experience during and after labor. 🥰
I know I was surprised at how emotionally intelligent he was. And how loving and kind he was. Most men have a little bit of asshole in them … I say that in the most loving and endearing way. It seems to come with the testosterone. But he is masculine in a very loving gentle way.
I come back to this comment daily.
Everyone that wants kids or just having a child needs to see this. This an absolute spot on depiction of what mom/wife individual life feels like. Not one lie told! Yes Sam yes!
All true. You realise how vulnerable your body can be.
Idk if I want to know the bad parts beforehand 😬😬😬
Sam. I’m so glad you are adult enough and brave enough to put this info out there. I felt so alone when hearing other people talk about sex after pregnancy and kids and it wasn’t my experience. I love hearing how you and Matt communicate and what you have done to make improvements. I so appreciate what you put out there.
As someone who is gonna have kids in a few years because I want to have a baby but I'm also terrified of having a baby, it does genuinely bring me comfort to hear someone talk about ut very very honestly. I know my experience could and will be very very different to Sam's or Kristi's or any of my other favs who have now journeyed into parenthood, it helps to hear the good and the bad.
I’m literally a college student who isn’t even thinking of having kids yet, but “giving it your all is going to look different day to day” is such a good reminder for all of us when we’re struggling, mentally or physically ❤️
I was thinking the same thing. A lot of what she said struck a nerve in me that was like “well duh, don’t be so hard on yourself” about just generally struggling through life. She has a good way of putting things like that.
Has anyone else not really been keeping up with TH-cam lately but instantly clicks on any video Sam uploads as soon as it uploads? 🙋🏻♀️
I clicked for Matt 🤙
💯💯💯😎☺️❤️
Sam is one of the only people that get me to sign up for push notifications when she posts. Notifications are the bane of my existence, but I would do backflips to support Sam. 😂
@@Creamy_Goodness It didn’t even register to me that Matt was gonna be in this video but his presence was welcome and super wholesome
Mee
Sam i feel like the "moody" lighting is actually so much better! usually your videos just seem a little washed out to me. i tend to tilt my laptop back when i watch your videos bc theyre so bright lol. love ur video as always
Samsies!!
I agree!
Agree it's so bright haha 😎
Loved this. You are always so articulate and well spoken Sam 💓 thanks for this content 🥰
Matt is so sweet, bless his heart. And as a childfree by choice woman, I love watching these videos. I love learning about the experiences other women/people with wombs have, and I feel like it's talked about way too little. I'm constantly sending out the other post-partum videos you've made to friends of mine going through the same stuff. Love you!
Same. I’ll never experience this, but I’m here for the content and it helps me understand what my friends who are moms go through.
I'm also childfree yet fascinated with pregnancy, labor, and early childhood. Even if I weren't, somehow this video was still relatable...like, if you replaced "baby" with "issues stemming from neurodivergence/mental illness," some of these points are still relevant 😅
Coming from your newest relationship video where Matt talks about his attachment style and how he processes things........ I could relate so much to him. It felt incredibly profound to hear someone else say the shit that goes on in my head - where I want to just dip and run half the time, and the things I do to my partner without really realizing it, like avoiding exploring my own feelings about things and bottling everything up. I knew I had a more complicated attachment style - but I'm definitely buying Attached per Matt's recommendation, because of how much it seemed to help him see things more clearly. Seriously, Matt I hope you know you have helped at least one person from that video. Thanks.
That’s great to hear. How did you like the book?
I ripped up so my “good” spot is now gone. Everything is different 6 years later and I still have pain and have no place for pleasure anymore. It happens to a lot of us. My sex drive is gone but I still have this relationship I still feel obligated to maintain. It’s very scary and sad. It happens to many of us. We don’t talk about it so thanks for giving a healthy place to.
Wait do you mean that you don’t have a cl**oris anymore? I’m sorry to be graphic I’ve just never heard of this happening and now I’m scared!
Also, I am so sorry that happened to you. That sounds like an incredibly traumatic situation and I hope only the best for you moving forward. “Women are born with pain built in” is a quote from Fleabag that has only resonated more with me as I get older.
So sorry, my suggestion even though I do not have any experience that is similar to yours is to try something different? Different position or combination of stimulation, I’ve been through pain before and I told my boyfriend and we just did a little at a time until mentally I stated to feel like yes this feels good, and then you get excited to do a little more. Very slow steps. Besides women have the most pleasure in the clitoris. Idk if I helped but I think much much much of womens pleasure and pain comes from the mind and how we imagine the intimate time, how we mentally feel during this time. For men it’s physical soooo much for women it’s both physical and mental and I know for me more mental. If mentally I am not happy and not in the state of mind where I’m open. In state of mind , pain, dislike , resentment , loss , change, wishing to go back , not accepting oneself , that all takes away from pleasure. I don’t know what injuries you had and how they healed but I hope maybe being open to trying something different and slowly could bring more pleasure. Dim lights , candles , scents that relax in the room. Soft music. Body Massage ! That’s all intimacy and you could start there. I hope maybe I help. ❤️
@@missjoasia123 thank you. My underwear touching me the wrong way hurts. (I just quit wearing them 😂 )Wiping after peeing hurts. Everything hurts. Sitting hurts , standing hurts. Lol it’s really bad. The best way I know how to explain it , is like tooth nerve pain. My nerves are so badly exposed - if you touch my clit , it’s shoots through me like electricity. Similar to how something really hot or cold would shock you when it touches a tooth nerve. Friggen misery. 😂 I honestly just have to laugh bc if not I’ll cry. Haha.
@@BeingBrittanny why don't you go seek medical help or talk about it with your partner ☹️
You're video content is such amazing, HIGH quality. ..without having to even disclose your baby's name, much less show them online. Love
Yes I do love this - I worry sometimes when I see people over-posting their children when they can’t consent to that kind of exposure. This is so real and raw and respectful I don’t have kids or plan on having them soon but it’s so nice hearing another woman speak so vulnerable and eloquently about these topics
I love that you and Matt do weekly check-ins. It's very admirable and since it is a safe space you can keep the lines of communication open with your spouse. I'm going to try and implement something like this in my own relationship. Also, I like that you mentioned that you two got closer not because you had a child but, because you saw the need to communicate more. I appreciate the great video.
I’m writing down the weekly check in questions to use with my own partner! I so appreciate you sharing the specific questions you use. It makes it seem less daunting when you have pointed example questions rather than just trying to conceptualize a “weekly check in.”
Edit: For reference, I don’t have kids. Just trying to foster the best communication I can with my partner! I think I this is super helpful for couples in general, and a fantastic habit to get into for when times get tough. Will definitely keep this in my back pocket for down the road if/when a bébé is in the cards though!
@@jessicasarahmonday the early days are INTENSE. The only way out is through, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need support and I hope you’re getting it. I’m sending you so much love, and from where I am three years in I promise it does get better 💗
I also wrote them down. What a great idea!
SAME! Wrote them down in my notes app.
can yall copy and paste the questions im so lazy to type them
@@perla2642 Was there anything left unsaid that you’d like to circle back to?
What was something I said or did that made you feel loved or appreciated?
What stressed you out this week? How can I better support you?
What’s going well this week?
Fave moment this week?
Testosterone does drop for new dads! So Matt is right that there’s a biological reason his sex drive went down for a while
That gives mom time to heal. They are adorable.
I loved his approach to this as well, it seemed like he was really aware of his feelings as well as Sam’s and baby’s. What a man, I’m so happy to see them grow and learn together through this experience and I’m really glad Sam is sharing some of this with us it’s truly such quality content and important for all people with the capacity or desire to get pregnant, this is about health ultimately.
Oh that’s so cute for some reason hahaha
Is it for the reason he said? That his body and mind have moved on to other things now that he's impregnated his partner and there's a little family unit he has to take care of?
Wow! I didn't know that
“If we don’t do the dishes who gives a fuck?” I love it!!!! Like FR people need to stop putting so much pressure on mothers. I see people saying “oh cleaning the kitchen is me time you should try it” I mean if you enjoy cleaning then go ahead. If that’s what bring you joy but, stop romanticizing cleaning as a way of self care.
Loved the video and how honest you are!!!
Right? Especially since you would never see men saying cleaning is their me time. Dads often get actual me time while moms are made to feel like having a shower alone or going to the grocery store alone is their "me time." 🙄
Ew, cleaning as self care. In that moment I could really see how toxic that can become. Good point
@@kenetrice my husband loves to clean. He does say it’s his me time to de-stress. He kicks me out of the house so he can spend his me time cleaning. I don’t think there are a lot of men who feel that way but my husband doesn’t have any sisters so his mom raised all her sons to clean their house every Saturday in its entirety. There are men who like to clean. They do exist is all I’m saying.
I'm 10 weeks postpartum and struggling with PPD and I NEEDED to hear literally all of this. Thank you SO much
Diet- exercise - husband get involved to help you achieve goals
“Don’t invite people to your home if you’re embarrassed by it” was the permission I didn’t know I needed to hear! Haha.
This “ guy” is a keeper, a gem, a real man, super dude 🏆🏆🏆the weekly check ins, as you said on neutral ground, days later, is an excellent idea for every couple , and along with therapy a much needed weekly investment into your future and your little guy🥰as a elementary school teacher , I wish all couples would follow your guidelines for a healthy relationship . The parents and the child always blossom if this work is done , without feeling like work 🌺as a mom of twins, I simply felt like a milk machine with anemic waves of low iron , tbh 🥰thank you for this 💐💐
I have been a very cynical person but this video makes me want to get married and have kids. Something about this is very genuine and heart warming at the same time… ok bye
good lord I'm a mess. I'm 38 weeks pregnant and seeing that you uploaded made me cry happy, hormonal tears. thank you Sam, I appreciate you and Matt.
The rawness of this video and honesty is truly inspiring!
On the body image issue, I had a C-section because our baby was breech. For months, I couldn’t bring myself to touch or look at my scar. It just really bothered me. But my husband told me once that he’s grateful for it because it meant that our baby was born safely and I was safe during the birth too. Seriously changed my perspective. Does it still bother me to see it sometimes? Yes. But it makes me grateful sometimes too.
Wow! Reading this normalized my own experience (partial mastectomy) Please tell your husband he just changed my pov on my scar too
you are soo refreshing, its so hard to find people that are confident enough to speak on the good, the bad, and the ugly. so many youtubers only speak on the very best of their life, you realize that a highlight reel includes every aspect and challenge
THIS should be the video that people watch before having babies not that what to expect when ur excepting shit...this is real and honest and so freaking relatable...had I watched this before my first baby i feel things would have gone better for me lol thank u for sharing ❤
When you said something about “it’s not like I was changing my baby on top of a f***ing sarcophagus…” I died laughing. And I had abdominal surgery two days ago. You are a treasure. Truly. I’m still chuckling.
I just had the LEEP procedure too. Came back to your video to reassure myself. You're doing an amazing job Sam. X
This video is spot on. Holy shit. You said everything i’ve ever thought about since becoming a mom. 🤯
I remember one of my friends who had her first baby before me told me, “as soon as you get comfortable and in a routine, your baby is gonna switch it up and you learn to adapt.” And that has stuck with me ever since. It’s helped me tremendously with adjusting to new stages, challenges, etc.
Thank you for all of your honesty, Sam. This is what new moms need to hear…and really, everybody. So so important.
I’m 26 and had my first child a week ago. Thank you for this video. I can’t tell you how much I related to 90% of what you said. Particularly with not wanting to lose my identity and become just a mom. I struggled with that so much when I found out I was pregnant. Especially being that I finally got my body almost to where I wanted it to be for the first time in my life fighting being overweight. It helps knowing someone else has felt these things. You’re awesome and I’m sure I’m not the only one who appreciates these kinds of down to earth videos from TH-camrs.
Thank you for being so open.
If you’re okay with sharing, would you ever be open to sharing how and why the beginning of your relationship with Matt was so tough (as you’ve mentioned previously) and how you both got to such a healthy place?
Secondarily, would you be open to talking more about the business side of Auric? That would be fascinating!
Yes I’ve always wondered how they went from that bad place to what seems to be very healthy.
they've talked about it on the approachable podcast
I think its founded in them having such different love languages and they had to learn how to even find common ground in conflict resolution.
I just love all of this so much. My heart is lighter hearing you express so many of the thoughts I’ve had myself. Especially about the mom identity and losing myself- I feel like when I was pregnant it felt like a walking billboard to everyone around me : “this woman only thinks about babies and you’ll never hear another sensible word out of her”. But my experience with my first child has been so much richer than that. Sure I’m a mom and that comes before a LOT of things that used to take precedence in my life. But it hasn’t swallowed me whole. I still like all the things I used to like. I’m just getting better at sacrificing them for the well-being of the family.
Matt and Sam I wanted to comment on your video but comments were turned off so I'm guessing people were not being kind... I wanted to let you both know how brave and helpful you both are. I gained so much insight into my relationship. I appreciate the book recommends also. Thank you.
You might have mentioned this at some point, but please know that pelvic physical therapy exists and it can help woman to return to functional activities (including sexual intimacy) postpartum.
Absolutely! Pelvic floor PT was a game changer for me. It’s not talked about nearly enough and I honest to goodness believe that every person should at least be assessed by a pelvic floor physical therapist after birth. It’s an intense experience for the body and changes stuff you wouldn’t even expect.
@@Rain_Reign was there a reason you had to do it?
Yes! Every woman should get pelvic floor physical therapy, before/during/& especially after giving birth.
Wow that is such a candid video. You spoke about things that no one would speak about and tell about to a childless person and its much appreciated. Thank you very much! You are amazing
You’re absolutely beautiful, and kind hearted and so open and I appreciate the fact you are sharing these personal and intimate experiences with us. It makes it so much easier to accept that it’s not JUST me that feels certain things that I’ve been telling myself that it was just me for years and years! Thank you for sharing, Sam!
I gave birth to my first baby 3 1/2 months ago. Watching this video makes me feel so seen and understood 🙏🏻 I’m always thankful for your content, but this one is really special.
FAVORITE VIDEO EVER? Im so glad you can share this with us because it's true. Everything You said it's the most common situations and for some reason we always feel like the odd ones out... I'm grateful for your content. I always find myself in awe at how much we can still relate to a person we used to watch online like 7 years ago. It's amazing. That's why I'm still here. Love you and your honesty always. Thank you and much love!
I am feeling the exact same way about my body after having my baby. I still find it hard to see myself as a sexual being too. You explained it wayyyy better than I ever could. I honestly feel relief that I’m not the only one feeling this way.
Same. I’m 12 weeks postpartum and I’m trying to find that part of my life again.
I’m so scared for this tbh :/ I’m scared that I would never want to have sex again in my life lol…
Hi Sam. I thought of you yesterday when I was having my annual Pap... isn't that sweet? I totally relate with your cervix problems. When I was pregnant with my third, I had an irregular Pap. My doc said once I gave birth and recovered (the 6 week appt), she needed to do a Colposcopy. So, right after I recovered, I got tore up from the floor up again... and then had a LEEP procedure. 6 months later I had another irregular Pap, Colposcopy and a LEEP again. Needless to say, once I recovered I had back to back to back procedures meaning our sex life was essentially over. I felt broken and damaged and I was either pregnant, giving birth, recovering, or getting a procedure for 2 years. I'm happy to say, I've had my second clear Pap in 2 years. That's why I thought of you. We're like the same, except I'm way older :) Know that there is light. You have a supportive partner, and that's like THE MOST important thing.
This is so nice to read this! I had a third degree tear, then an irregular pap smear, so a colposcopy happening tomorrow at nine months postpartum. Also need to have a colonoscopy soon as my sister was diagnosed with colon cancer. Blah, blah, anyway, I'm glad you survived the meddling after you probably just wanted to be left the hell alone a bit! 😊
Wow that sounds like you went through so much! That’s really nice of you too to share your experience so others can identify. I’m sending you big hugs and hoping you’re doing better these days!
Really? They did my Colposcopy while I was pregnant. That is where they kinda look at your cells under a microscope right?
I'm so glad you said you don't invite mom guilt. Like, I'm not trying to sound condescending, but I don't understand it. If you care enough to have guilt, you're probably a good mom. Crackheads abusing kids aren't sitting there worrying. Like I remember visiting a site called babycenter and hearing some of the guilt and I'm just here like....why would you do this to yourself. Like I swear you'd hear stuff like " my baby is playing alone for 10 mins and he's content, but I'm crying because I feel I'm neglecting him" . I think society is too soft now. People always are shocked at how independent my kids are. My 3 year old can play by himself all day ( I don't let that happen but he can). It's OK to let a kid cry for a second, it's OK to let your kid be bored. Being bored is GOOD. It fosters independence, creativity, and self assurance. Don't get me started on the breastfeeding nazis guilting moms with studies that oversimplify and overhyped the benefits ofbreastfeeding, to the point that women rsther buy breastmilk from a stranger, without knwoing the nutritional content of their diet, and thus their milk, than give formula. As a scientist ( now a stay at home mom), the studies are incredibly hard to replicate, for instance, is it breastmilk itself that is reasonable for the slightly higher IQ, or is it the fact that most people who breastfeed have higher IQs statistically themselves. Or the whole " breast is best". Sure, maybe years ago when people weren't eating like shit, but the nutritional profile of breastmilk has gone down quite alot. Also, the antibody argument is also flawed. I don't want to get oo much in the physiology and biochemistry aspect, but basically, the very few benefits are in the first 3 to 6 months max. Even the ear infection argument only shows a 2% increase. I'm so passionate about this because I'm sick of moms putting their babies in danger because they don't want to give them formula. And I'm sick of women killing themselves to breastfeed. My first attempt was a failure. So guess what ? I didn't even try the second time. Went straight to formula and God damn I'm happy and my baby is literally thriving. If you can do it, great, but if you can, seriously stop the guilt trips, it's not good for you or your baby.
Looove everything about this, but especially "I'm not a bad mom, I'm having a bad day."
“the more you avoid your life, the more it will contribute to that feeling” omg. i don’t even have a kid but have been struggling mentally with anxiety & depression/getting so anxious to make plans & get out there & this helped me so much 😭 thank you for this video. ❤️
I love, love, love these real conversations to spread awareness, offer different perspectives, and eliminate some of the stigmas around postpartum. I don’t have children myself but I loved watching and listening to these conversation.
I always get so much from these kinds of videos of yours, Sam. I love and 'get' the way your mind works. You're such a clear thinker and communicator. You'd be an excellent teacher, mentor. Your product line is extraordinary
the *not* avoiding doing the things you enjoyed or errands etc before becoming a parent, because of the added difficulty of brining baby along is literally the best piece of parenting advice ever. i’ve been a mom for almost 7 years now, and i’ve made my life SO. MUCH. harder by doing this for so long
thank you for being so open and honest. Ive never been able to talk about my body openly and on the internet at that.... i truly appreciate you sharing these things as always. It will help so many people
26:36… thank You!!!! I’ve been having a lot of negative experiences running errands with my Federal Service dog because of a disability. And i keep pushing myself because it seems as though 1:3 times out someone negatively injects themselves into my day to distract my dog - not allowing her to do her job of paying attention to me to give me signals if one of my symptoms is about to act up. I cried during yesterdays outing and even when I got home.. which was cathartic bc normally I’m not a crier. But I met a compassionate woman after the bad situation and she hugged me. Actually it helped a lot. And today’s talk is reminding me about the importance of getting back on the horse as often as you can… because you’ll increase your chance of positive experiences. Thank you!!!! And… you are right, your lip conditioner is bomb!! I carry it with me room to room (i work from home.)
Have to say… benefits of therapy & your hard work is so evident in this video & thank you so much for sharing that !!!
i’m watching this while i’m ordering my babies cap & gown portraits … enjoy this time, i can tell you are! time truly does seem to fly by so fast. i feel like i just watched him walk his first steps a year ago and he’s graduating high school next month. i’d love to have done some things different, i was a v scared and clueless young mom…but i’m so grateful i can look at my son and see i helped make this great human exist. best of luck to you and any other new or soon to be moms. 💛
I love this video so much and the love you and Matt have for your baby is evident. The balance that you both shared show how much you’re both committed to a healthy loving family!! Love the Sunday check in’s. I’ve followed you since before Batalash and I’m so happy for you!! Thanks for being so open!’
Hey Sam, if you can do me a favor and never delete any of these videos so I can refer back to them when I'm a mom/partner, that would be much appreciated. I love the way you communicate and the information you share seems so relatable and honest.
Plz keep these forever!
I think after seeing a lot of post partum experiences and the actual birth, it still scares the living hell out of me. I know I would manage but still is the sheer fear of not being able to care for a baby, and the mess and all that, with the ocd and anxiety disorder I suffer, it scares me I will
hate being a parent. I want to but I’m scared of it, I know my husband would be amazing but still 😢
I feel very similar! Like I feel confident I would be a good parent, as well as my husband being a great father, but the whole having a kid thing is terrifying to me
I'm exactly the same. I feel like the ship has passed for me now tbh. I don't think I will. I'm seeing and hearing horror stories every single day online.
mom of 2 here. Had the same anxiety issues during pregnancy but I SWEAR: As soon as birth begins the mother instinct kicks in like nothing u have seen before. It is truly a miracle.
I really have no logical explanation but you just WILL KNOW what to do in any given situation. It is pure insanity.
@@BethHartSmith exactly that! Is the ordeal, I know it sounds ridiculous to most people but for me, a messy room, the lack of sleep and overall responsibility is what scares me the most. In my head is better to not have a child if I will be remorseful of having it later on if I find the situation intolerable. But at the same time I love seeing my nieces, and nephews grow, being children basically. Is awful 😭🙃
@@lizziebeggimbo I also often think the same, I’m 34 and like I feel the pressure of “getting pregnant before 35” but the horror stories I find in the web is like 😵💫😵💫😵💫
Always admire you for your raw honesty, Sam! Hearing Matt's views on things was really nice too. I'm glad you are all doing well. ❤️ I'm not a mom and I have no desire to be. It actually made so much sense about what you said with breast-feeding wherever you want. I never really thought about how awful it is to make a mom go elsewhere (especially somewhere gross like a bathroom) just to feed the baby. Being a female, I couldn't care less if someone does it openly. That's totally your right. But I just wanted to say I appreciated hearing that "mini rant." Lol
Make this required viewing before baby comes. You put so much into words that I couldn’t even really describe to other people. My LO is 19 months and I sooooo feel the missing how easy it is to just pick up and go, especially as we go out more as the world opens up again. It’s been really hard for me to accomplish things because I’m the same way in thinking “well, I just won’t do ____” because it’s so much. My daughter LOVES outings though, so I’m glad that’s a motivator to get me out there more
You are just the most amazing, genuine person on TH-cam. Hearing about your guys relationship, Matt’s respect for you, and your weekly check-ins 🥺 such a beautiful loving relationship. Wish you and your family nothing but the absolute best Sam ♥️ been watching you for yearssss now and you only get better.
2.5 months postpartum and you’ve totally hit it on the head! Thanks for sharing your experiences. Also your other videos about postpartum have really helped me feel like I’m not the only one going through it.
I just wanted to say thank you for not editing your photos on Instagram. Fellow acne faced angel and well....yeah....its nice to see other ppl still out here rocking it and not photoshopped into oblivion.
Also- what you said in this is so true. The biggest mental block I had post partum was and is definitely seeing my body parts that were specifically employed for certain aspects in baby making as also able to be sexual. Lord such a struggle they never talk about
your attitude towards parenting and motherhood is so reassuring!
This video was fantastic. Your take on moms “losing themselves “ was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you for sharing!
So many things to relate to here! it’s so nice to not feel alone, I also had a LEEP about 4 months after my baby was born. As a pelvic floor physical therapist I would highly recommend you find one nearby for an evaluation. Pain during or after sex does not need to persist postpartum!
My baby is 13 months old and I had significant tearing so I resonate with a lot of this. Something that I want to shout from the rooftops to every single birthing person is the benefits of pelvic physical therapy. I had to go during my pregnancy for symphysis pubis (pelvic girdle) pain and I learned about all the ways that the pelvic health specialists can assist after birth and during the postpartum recovery journey. My therapist not only helped me through rebuilding my pelvic floor strength and assessing me for diastasis recti, but she was able to work on the scar tissue related to the vaginal tearing and helped me enjoy sex again. She was gentle and kind and helped me restore my sex life at my own pace. SEX DOES NOT HAVE TO BE PAINFUL AFTER BIRTH. Women have been told for centuries that that’s just “the way it is” after birth and sex just won’t ever be the same and it does not have to be that way. There are resources and there is help and you can enjoy sex again if you want that for yourself. Search for pelvic health physical therapy and be kind to yourselves ❤️
Allow me to climb up there and shout with you! To think it took me almost two years postpartum to even realize this was an option for me. I wish that every single pregnant person had pelvic floor PT put on their radar, but I think that’s not the case for many if not most.
Thank you so much for sharing this!!!! Very good to know in advance
I am not a mom nor do I ever want to be but I think learning about the post partum experience is extremely interesting and important to talk about 💜 Thank you so much for sharing, Sam
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. So few women share how they're doing - how they're REALLY doing - and what it's truly like for them. Even close friends only shared the joy. So, from one mum to another - thank you.x
SAM!!!!! Thank you for this. Every time I watch your content, I feel such relief. I struggle in a lot of the same areas you touch on, and it causes BIG self-doubt in my abilities to be a parent in the future. You're such a reasonable and capable person - I'm so glad you share your life and experiences with us.
So many marriages end due to a lack of communication so I love your Sunday night sit downs. Such a great way to keep that communication going.
i love that you are so open with sharing your journey in therapy, couples therapy, and with your process of treating your depression in general. everybody talks about mental illness nowadays but there is still so little focus on treatment and it is always so great to hear someone normalize things like needing to go to couples therapy and working to communicate better when the message we get so often is that you either communicate well or you aren't right for each other. it is so frustrating that in this larger conversation about mental health things seemed to be framed in such a way where accepting your struggles with mental illness means being resigned to the fact that you are unwell and that is just how life will always be. it is so nice hearing someone confirm that there is something you can do and you can get better. it took me so long to finally snap out of it and seek treatment and it wasn't until someone i admired very publicly shared their story about finding the right medication and doing their work that i finally found the courage to take that step. so every time you talk about your mental health and all the ways that you are using the things you've learned in therapy and how much you've been able to get better i just know that there are people who will watch your videos and see how far you've come and decide that they can do it too. you rock and thanks for sharing :)
Thank you for sharing Matt’s perspective
so interesting watching this.. the parts about the spiral of thoughts that prevent you from doing things that were once simple (outings, a phone call, etc) is so so similar to general anxiety disorder (my experience atleast). There's about 10+ different reasons or obstacles we tend to foresee and worry about just for running a simple errand. In therapy, we're often told the worst thing you can do is listen, fall victim to those spirals, and stay put. The best, & most difficult, thing to do is to DO THE THING. Acknowledge the thoughts... it's okay to be worried or scared but DO IT ANYWAY. With a lot of mental health issues, if we don't go through the motions (in spite of our brains), simple things feel less and less possible
Such a healthy perspective Sam. Good for you. This video will be such an amazing resource for new Moms. Your sincerity here is brave and good on you.
You’re such a FN G!!!! Love your channel and I feel it keeps getting better and better. I gave birth to my first baby (son) Aug 2021 and I love how you’re talking about life PP
I love the exercise you do with Matt. Definitely going to incorporate this into my relationship with my partner. Thank you for sharing your responses to some of the viewer questions
What you said about changing how you view your body because it served a greater purpose is so spot on to how I felt after having my first child and it saying that makes me feel something I don’t even know how to describe. I had a difficult time wanting and connecting with sex with my ex husband plus I had bad depression. I value this video of yours so much, thank you for having this conversations!!
I absolutely love the weekly sit downs you have as a couple, I think that is such a great exercise to have in a relationship. Thank you for sharing all of this
Love your videos together, guys! And, this is an important conversation- postpartum realness is so necessary in this day and age and not talked about enough. I tell myself that I click sups fast on your videos for your wit and overall badassery, but it's because of how amazing you are at approaching these subjects: objectively, eloquently and full of realness. You kween. ♥
I love the “check in” - really smart way to talk to your partner when things aren’t heated, or just circle back to encouraging things. Love it
I found out on February 27th that I’m pregnant & I definitely NEEDED to see this video. I’m so nervous and this helped ease a lot of my worries.
I've been a quiet long time follower and I've loved how you developed your career here on TH-cam. I just had my first baby 4 days ago and your videos have been amazing. I re watch them all the time for reassurance, especially when it comes to motherhood, breastfeeding and overall mental health. Love you Sam ❤️
this is the most real, authentic, helpful video there is on youtube honestly, not only about having a baby but being in a relationship and what a marriage means. i really appreciate this video. ♥️
So much of your family content does not specifically apply to me yet but I love learning about your experience anyway. I still take away things that I can apply like the relationship check in with my own relationship so thank you for this content. It’s super cool to me to have access to. Wishing you well ❤
The check in questions! I LOVE that. Provides a great segway for bringing things up and you have those questions in the back of your mind throughout the week to reflect on your feelings.
This video is so helpful and as always your honesty is like a refreshing glass of water.x
i love that yall implement the weekly check in, such a good idea! love yall!
I’m currently 24 weeks & I appreciated this video so so much. Thank you for your honesty!
Sam thank you for making these. I had a baby about 6 months before you and these videos have been so self assuring and makes me feel like I wasn't as alone in the craziness of postpartum. In my opinion its been your most meaningful content and I am very thankful for it! Good luck too
not pregnant, not looking to try anytime soon but absolutely love your videos about pregnancy/ post birth. They seem so real and honest, not glamorized. Watching your videos make me feel like I at least have 1% knowledge about how life will be after having a baby and I think it will help me to prepare myself and my relationship. Also love hearing your views on letting go and being kind to yourself as a mother/ person.
Omg you talking about cleaning (or lack of) touched my soul!!!!
I haven't finished this but I'm so happy for a 45min video!! THANK YOU SO MUCH
Your experience mirrors my own & my son just had his 26th bday! Every year brings a new joy & new challenge. Thank you & Matt for your honesty!
I literally have the exact same feeling and kinder about postpartum and sex and body image. It's so so hard to explain but you really explained it well! Thankful for supportive husbands/partners 🙌🏼
I love this!❤️I am 47 with two teenagers, one being a senior in HS. I’ve had a full hysterectomy, gall bladder removal & went through two rounds of chemotherapy & radiation after a diagnosis of colon cancer all in less than 5 years. My sex drive “drove off”a cliff & I don’t care, LOL 😂 I’ll tell anyone, I have better things to do 😘💋❤️Love your channel!
Praying you stay well.
You found a good himbo. You did it. The first couple minutes alone made me write this. Precious.
you and matt should do a full q & a
i really love seeing your guys dynamic ❤️
Man I definitely cried through some of this. Just such an honest perspective on what postpartum feels like and great reminders to not be so hard on ourselves! Thank you for putting this together and showing the non “Instagram” version of motherhood! ❤️
As a person that is not pregnant, but wants to have a baby, but is terrified to be a parent… you have no idea how helpful this is to hear. Hearing this makes me feel a bit more confident in making this decision when I’m ready.
Wow Sam you literally said it so perfect. When I found out I was pregnant I was struggling heavily with the thought of just being a mom. I told my partner “ I don’t wanna just be a mom” and it confused him because obvi I’m pregnant, but you took the words right out of my mouth! it’s hard to leave behind your “single-ness” before you become a parent. It’s scary to think you have to lose things like yourself and identity.
I watched one of your videos over a year ago where you talked about how your therapist said for you to be more compassionate towards yourself and I have carried that with me!