They better not know... Or else they would try to make a WAAGH! so big that it may end up creating a bigger explosion. But to make it that powerful it may take them several galaxies worth of WAAGH in addition to the support of the entirety of the warp.
“Da bitz in our gutz, Da toofs in our gobz, Da metal on our armz, Da jam in ourz apple piez woz all made in da biggest of bangz! We'ze are made outta boom bitz!!” - Mekboy Kral Zaggin'
GW instills a “zero tolerance” policy on all fan made content do they can launch Warhammer+. As you can guess, this went swimmingly for everyone involved.
"Killing all your allies in the middle of a giant war was a bad idea, who woulda thought" me after integrating all my vassals in stellaris right before the crisis hits
@@MouldMadeMind but if they’re your vassals it’s always weaker tech/designed ships. It’s better when the crisis hits to send your vassals fleets in to test how your regular fleet would do.
You know the irony is, with the new Overlord DLC, you can declare war on yourself because a vassal decided to guarantee independence of someone you're trying to invade... So you can literally kick your own ass
@@MrakoGears Magnus leads The Thousand Sons Legion. Their armour and archetecture is themed around Ancient Egypt. Recently GW reworked a lot of the lore behind the Necron race and essentially made them in undead space Ancient Egyptians. So the joke here is that the Necrons are copying the Thousand Sons's Ancient Egypt in space thing.
The Emperor's last words before being placed on the golden throne. "Before I die, place a shitload of pop sickle stick puppets next to the throne and have a soundboard with every sound on it be built into the throne. For kicks."
He didn’t actually leave the great crusade to work on the webway project. He was taking a vacation to indulge in his hobby of making popsicle stick puppets.
And thus, the custodes thousand year popsicle memorial began! The custodes spent a millennia eating as mani popsicles as they could find to fulfill the emperor’s dying wish. Even today, this is the origin of the custodes popsicle festival held once a year, where the custodes will spend an entire day eating naught but the frozen confectionaries.
"Eventually, however, this frigid, lonely expanse of plot hole level nothing got sick of being nothing and decided to get a job." Best explanation of the Big Bang ever.
@@nickkorkodylas5005 Except for the founders of GeeDubs it'd be they were sick of being just simply geeks and decided to make their own jobs rather than get a job.
Dark matter? Planewalkers? Precursors? A bunch of geeks with nothing better to do making a badass fictional universe for the purpose of inevitably selling inordinately expensive plastic figures? My reaction was just like Kitten's at the end XD
It's almost like one of the basic _sentences_ describing the Imperium is "the darkest, bloodiest regimes imaginable" for an empire obsessed with genetic purity, taking slaves, and exterminating anything it thinks is "unworthy."
Well, their obsession with skulls is because they don't want to use AI anymore, so it's a weird mix of human/remnants/souls and technology, giving birth to the servo skulls and all that shit For normal skulls tho hmmmm.... Because it's spooky ?
@@Beretta249 I hate to make it real for a second but that is definitely one of the major reasons why the 40K community massively skeeved me out before I found TTSverse (and partially still does). There's a ton of crossover with the ugly contingent of the 4chan crowd. A game thematically centered around religious fanaticism, genocide, intense militarism, and Western Culture™ tends to attract Nazis, Bible thumpers, and dudes who WOULD be Nazis and/or Bible thumpers if they hadn't grown up in a northern suburb and been exposed to militant atheism. It's by no means a majority of the community but it's just enough - and just hard enough to tell the difference between them and the good ones - to give the fan base a bad name.
"Gaze upon this" *unstoppable laughter of pity* From now on, I can only imagine the Necrons talking to each other like british nobility, yet not taking the universe seriously in any degree... Cracked me right up XD
It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.
That extremely subtle "Awaken" theme in the background when the Fabulous Custodes were calling for "Kitten" was very much appreciated in its attention to detail
I'm an outsider to 40k in general, but between this series and what lore I've learned from a friend who is really into the actual games, I've come to the conclusion that at literally any point in the timeline, one can accurately sum up the universe's state with: "And then it got worse."
@@jacobaugustine6249 Don't fret about it. Nearly anything can be oversimplified to a level like that. WH40K's a little more dedicated than average to making everything grimdark, but all the interesting bits of a fandom are in the details anyway.
no no no, for awhile it got better and better for humanity, THEN it got worse when the elves BDSM fucked a god into existence, created the eye of terror and started all this shit, so remember, its not magnus's fault, per usual its goddamn elves
I like how The Emperor's story starts out describing an explosion of such huge proportions I'm rolling my eyes thinking it's Wh40k playing up their mythos, and then it turns out he's describing the big bang.
@@AbysmalGaming To our knowledge anyway. We don't currently have the capability to try and see what might or might not have happened before the Big Bang as of yet.
@@festethephule7553 "before the big bang" might be an oxymoron since it's entirely possible there wasn't any such thing as time "before" the big bang Also good god the big bang is such a terrible name for something of that magnitude
I like how this portrayed the Emperor like a surprisingly wholesome and worldly uncle who decides to tell his nephews and nieces some interesting stories about the world that he’s figured out. Super fun to listen to.
After authoring both the Imperial Religion and the book of Lorgar he's now just curled in the fetal position: "How many times do I have to re-write the FUCKING BIBLE."
@@ChaplainPhantasm This is true...AIP DAMN IT I KEEP READING EVERYTHING IN HIS VOICE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
@@benedictduggan7232 it is a classic verbal jab. You say ‘idiot says what’ really fast, so the target says ‘what?’ In confusion. Thusly, that makes them the idiot.
I get that all the swearing is just for kicks and the younger audience, however I like to think the Emperor is cursing everyone out all the time because he is in horrendous pain 24/7 and only continues to try to do good because he's that great of a human being.
So Kitten has been serving the Emperor for 11 thousand years, and was still surprised when he found out he wasn't an actual God, nor did he want any religions?
@@AKUJIVALDO The other option is that he was a brain damaged sociopath and that’s the root of his bad decisions, like not telling the kids what he was working on. Banning psyker usage. Razing Monarchia and psychically forcing the legion most loyal to him to kneel in its ashes. Angron. He’s either Deeply divorced from humanity at large or self-deluded on a level that’s borderline, if mot outright, malevolent? Pick your poison, oh slave of the false emperor.
Love the Korks/Orks reaction to no more Necrons to fight. No wonder they turned against their creators, they were built to fight a seemly immortal enemy and now...they were gone.
This was my favorite episode by far. Every second of it was fantastic. Also the subtle sound design in the background of the origin story bits was fantastic.
Fun part about that was that I sat down and edited audio and was all like "y'know, this is missing some nice sounds, but I have no idea what kind of sounds would be nice to put in. Oh well, time for stupid sounds into the mic and we'll see what happens".
Australia is the creation of the Chaos gods, nothing else can explain all the innumerable poison, biting, stinging and otherwise deadly creatures there
Gotta say Alfa, you fucking outdid yourself this time. I'm even in this, so that makes it grander than a sexual meatsafeast. I should fucking finish ep3 of my own plotshit now.
I'm gonna take a line from Magnus' book for this one: "What?!?" Seriously, were the Orks really created by the Old Ones? To fight the Necrons? And they fought besides the Eldars? If that's true then it's gonna take the first place in my top plotwist of all times.
Considering Magnus and the Thousand Sons are Tzeentch sworn Chaos followers, it makes sense why they sent a C&D letter to the Necrons instead of just invading every Necron Tomb World like Khorne sworn Chaos warbands would do.
What do you suppose Nurglites would do when faced with this sort of problem? It seems to me that the Necrons would be the hardest race in the galaxy for Nurgle's kin to deal with. (Which leads me to the _opposing_ and completely tangential thought that a war between Nurglites and the Tyranid would be lit af. At least, I hope it'd be a war. If Nurgle _allied_ with the nids, pretty much everyone else would be fucked.)
Nurgle would feel with the conflicting theme by our living the enemy and sending rotten pie. You would think Nurgle would struggle with Necrons. Then they made the ferric blight and even Morterian’s was surprised by how quickly it would rip through a tomb world.
@@Thatonelurkingboi That's actually an interesting question. Are computer viruses close enough to living organisms (or close enough to biological viruses, rather) to fall under Nurgle's domain? Normally, I'd have guessed that computer viruses were the product of cleverness and thus would fall under Tzeentch.
@@isaachaahr8691 now THAT is interesting. The power of nature to reclaim the constructions of civilization. Like a city falling to overgrowth, except at magically enhanced speed.
Holy Terra this is great :D I cannot wait for Emps to start telling them history of Mankind. Their heads are going to hurt when they learn how our race was before Emps came.
+Miagolio Maxwell Sure you do! Now you know that ancient psychic toad-men were the first species to evolve and created the Eldar, Necrons and Orks, along with the origin the Emprah himself. Surely you are all the better for knowing this :D
***** maybe, but 40K is meant to be interpreted different ways since all lore is literally fictionalized accounts of history from one side or another. So you can, in fact, reject one reality and substitute your own :P
LordManda2 I guess so Though I will probably burned at the stake for saying this... But I actually like the new necron lore. I mean, if you want a race of all consuming xenos with a mysterious back story, you could play Tyranids
It is dangerously correct in many parts, it's like 80% up to 100% right the whole time. You can kinda tell when they throw something in for LuLs. On the history side of things.
"You know, I left my heresy detector back in my chambers, but I can hear it going off from here." For all the love that this project gets, I'm certain that it's still not enough, judging by the nuggets of gold (ha!) scattered all over.
Gotta love 40k lore. I've heard, like, six different versions of the War in Heaven story, all from GW sources. I'll just use this video as the baseline, it's more fun anyway.
This is the stuff that actually got me in this universe, and is also a very fucking good prologue. Not only you are a good comedian, but you can also write encyclopedias. I always show people this video to get them into this clusterfuck of a universe.
Episode is out and stuff, YEH. If you notice any mistakes in the video (I did), keep in mind that I reeeeeally wanted to release this episode before the end of the month (which I also totally did). Also, remember to check out Eliphas' BEHEMOTH video! It's in the same timeline as this series, so that's a fun fact. Can't go wrong with Tyranids.
The Eldar were created to be warriors, much like the orks. Although I did laugh at all that anyway... And I guess you can't go wrong with a piece of wraithbone.
“This went swimmingly for everyone involved” *Immediately backfires* Honesty, Between the birth of Slaanesh, the Horus Heresy, and creation of the Inquisition alone, *So* many of the problems within the 40k universe could so easily be summed up in these words.
This video was my introduction to 40k lore some 7-odd years ago. Now my mind is forever tainted by the most obscure trivia of this clusterfuck of a setting. Thank you, Alfa.
Favorite bit from this has to be the opening joke. The idea that magnus just had a couple of tentacle demon buddies who AREN’T going around spreading havoc in the imperial palace but are rather just hanging out with magnus is hilarious.
Filled with bloodthirsty psychopaths, impossible to completely stop, practically anonymous, capable of the most horrible tortures, with no patience, no mercy, and no scruples? Orks are 4chan.
@@PGawol What? Orks lose their shit at everything. They are constantly losing their shit. They lose so much shit if they so much as think you are stealing fishies from them. Also, I'm fairly certain orks are completely genderless, what with being spores and all.
I already know that. I have a manual for it: Step 1: Make fist or grab blunt object Step 2: Yell profanity and throw the Emprah in there somehow Step 3: Keep profanity and charge Step 4: HIT THEM IN THE DICK *sidenote, if no dick to be found, hit them all the same. it's for the Emprah* Step 5: Just fucking keep hitting them. You can't read anyway
11:34 are we just going to ignore the fact that he went though the reasons for the Big Bang and some video game reasons. Like the precersers from Halo and the bunch of geeks with nothing better to do then create a badass fictional universe for the perps of selling some expensive plastic miniatures Edit: 12:29 SOPE BEENS
God dammit i love this show. I actually know very little of the whole 40k setting and warhammer, except a few stumbles I've had with the wiki of it (and then i spent several hours reading about the Emperor and the orks. And i loved it!). So this is mostly new stuff to me. And it's well written and really interesting to listen to and watch. This show's been going for a while now, and it still feels so fresh. I really gotta admire your ability to create something like this, Alfa. "Great work" doesn't even begin to describe the whole project. Also, the last few seconds (aka, the reactions of the two listeners) literally made me laugh out loud so loud that a tear came out of my eye. Hell, i still start laughing when i even think about it. I loved it
"The old ones were near extinct, the eldar were still scared shitless - and worst of all, the Krorks with no necrons left to fight, turned on their creators since the old ones had forgotten to install a fucking off switch." ~ God Emperor of Mankind
We cannot deny our grand fathers expectations but that doesn't mean we have to live without the pleasure in life... that is MORE DAKKA!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
***** That's the problem with those edgy sons of bitches. The ruinous powers were spawned cuz the lack of common fucking decency, and now we all constantly have to deal with their teenage rebellious emo shit.
"Indeed Stepmother" is the best instance of sass from Magnus
Agreed, I miss this sires
But he is discount ketchup
It's in competition with the "Yellow Submarine" comment.
Honestly after reading a thousand son and first heretic this is legitimately something Magnus would say
*every single member of the adepta sororitas ever just got a massive pang of jealousy after those words were uttered*
"an explosion so f*cking big it's still happening right now". Wonder what the Orks think of being alive INSIDE the biggest explosion ever.
They'd probably try and make a bigger one just to spite it.
They better not know... Or else they would try to make a WAAGH! so big that it may end up creating a bigger explosion. But to make it that powerful it may take them several galaxies worth of WAAGH in addition to the support of the entirety of the warp.
I imagine theyd all go into euphroia levels so high slaanesh would get jealous at the htougth theyre IN the biggest explosion ever.
"zog me it's bootiful"
“Da bitz in our gutz, Da toofs in our gobz, Da metal on our armz, Da jam in ourz apple piez woz all made in da biggest of bangz! We'ze are made outta boom bitz!!” - Mekboy Kral Zaggin'
“But my emperor how does it end?”
“A bunch of fucking nerds get greedy and delete the universe”
That's also how Warhammer Fantasy ended. ;_;
Huh so we not only created their universe but also destroyed it. For fun. Nice. Hopefully the imperium doesn't know about that truth.
@@jonathanathor117 calgar seems to know
@@iamafuckingfailure yup he does
EA
Memo to self: use servo skulls instead of tumbleweeds in every 40k proxy western.
I was literally sitting here thinking that that was used like a tumbleweed in that scene
A servo skull caught in a ball of barbed wire
I approve. You don’t need it but you are getting it.
"As you can guess, this went swimmingly for everyone involved."
That sentence can be said after damn near everything in WH40K.
My favourite quote is "Why do you assholes keep wasting precious battleships." I think, that's very fitting for all of WH40K, too.
@@fafikommander1903 It's an investment
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
Very true unfortunately.
Also anyone notice the Pac-Man in the middle of the second planet
GW instills a “zero tolerance” policy on all fan made content do they can launch Warhammer+.
As you can guess, this went swimmingly for everyone involved.
*universe proceeds to implode*
And then it got worse
Pariah Nexus doesn’t look bad
@@XtreemAlan true!
@@XtreemAlan too bad it was so short, also, the 2 new red gobbo animations are...actually animated well, not like the stiff ork chrismas song.
Normal: "Look at this."
Me, an intellectual: *Gaze upon this.*
"I cannot see a thing!"
Whoisthisnormalandwhydidyoulethimin
@@markusallen6818 *_ELBOWTOTHEFACE_*
In all fairness, that's about how I would react if the Egyptian dusty bois sent me a C&D.
El Tio Asmodai boltblasttotheface
"Killing all your allies in the middle of a giant war was a bad idea, who woulda thought"
me after integrating all my vassals in stellaris right before the crisis hits
You didn't kill them.
@@MouldMadeMind It gets rid of their fleets and makes their world’s yours by removing their empire.
@@FibroidAuto you get their fleets too.
@@MouldMadeMind but if they’re your vassals it’s always weaker tech/designed ships. It’s better when the crisis hits to send your vassals fleets in to test how your regular fleet would do.
You know the irony is, with the new Overlord DLC, you can declare war on yourself because a vassal decided to guarantee independence of someone you're trying to invade...
So you can literally kick your own ass
Necrons laughing at that cease and desist order gets me every single time.
New to the universe, but got all jokes, except for this one. Explain pls? :C
@@MrakoGears Magnus leads The Thousand Sons Legion. Their armour and archetecture is themed around Ancient Egypt.
Recently GW reworked a lot of the lore behind the Necron race and essentially made them in undead space Ancient Egyptians.
So the joke here is that the Necrons are copying the Thousand Sons's Ancient Egypt in space thing.
“Gaze upon this” I died
@@KageMinowara also, what the fuck is that color scheme? It looks like a candy coated joke.
@@lordfelidae4505 necrons love green and thousand sons changed their colors from red to blue to match tzeench
"No Spam box filter shall stop my glorious wisdom this time."
I need to use this.
Epic mom line
That is the most memeable quote in this video, Imma do it.
The Emperor's last words before being placed on the golden throne.
"Before I die, place a shitload of pop sickle stick puppets next to the throne and have a soundboard with every sound on it be built into the throne. For kicks."
Custodes: Why?
Emperor: It will make sense in time…
@@Abdega Emperor: "Do you question me, Custodes?"
Custodes: "Ummm... no? We'll get on that right away."
Emperor: "Damn straight you will."
He didn’t actually leave the great crusade to work on the webway project. He was taking a vacation to indulge in his hobby of making popsicle stick puppets.
And thus, the custodes thousand year popsicle memorial began! The custodes spent a millennia eating as mani popsicles as they could find to fulfill the emperor’s dying wish. Even today, this is the origin of the custodes popsicle festival held once a year, where the custodes will spend an entire day eating naught but the frozen confectionaries.
To quote a throne-bound Emperor:
“To quote an indecisive daemon fuck, things are going JUST. AS. PLANNED.”
"Eventually, however, this frigid, lonely expanse of plot hole level nothing got sick of being nothing and decided to get a job."
Best explanation of the Big Bang ever.
That's me in my parents basement after my graduation.
I wonder how they knew that.
Also the founding of GW.
It got a job
*But it blew*
@@nickkorkodylas5005
Except for the founders of GeeDubs it'd be they were sick of being just simply geeks and decided to make their own jobs rather than get a job.
Nope. Nurgle was just bored.
The armored banana's reaction at the end was priceless... almost fell out of my chair :)
alucard ex Heeegh. Haaaaaagghh! HEEEEAAAAGH!!!
th-cam.com/video/QasaekqLYgc/w-d-xo.html
I laughed so hard I pulled a muscle
@@brendanmcnally3805 i laughed so hard I came shitteeddd pissed and died in my pants
Banana E X P A N D
Dark matter?
Planewalkers?
Precursors?
A bunch of geeks with nothing better to do making a badass fictional universe for the purpose of inevitably selling inordinately expensive plastic figures?
My reaction was just like Kitten's at the end XD
Tabletop games in a nutshell
It could have been anything!
@@filthymolotovite Not really.
kitten breaks the fabric of reality out of shock lol
@@kirbo7184 to be fair, reality has been shattered into dust several times over in this universe….
On the Imperium's obsessions with skulls:
"Hans? Are we the baddies?"
Somewhere out there in the vast expanse of the grim dark universe is an Astartes legion marching under the banner of a rat's anus
It's almost like one of the basic _sentences_ describing the Imperium is "the darkest, bloodiest regimes imaginable" for an empire obsessed with genetic purity, taking slaves, and exterminating anything it thinks is "unworthy."
Well, their obsession with skulls is because they don't want to use AI anymore, so it's a weird mix of human/remnants/souls and technology, giving birth to the servo skulls and all that shit
For normal skulls tho hmmmm....
Because it's spooky ?
@@Beretta249 I hate to make it real for a second but that is definitely one of the major reasons why the 40K community massively skeeved me out before I found TTSverse (and partially still does). There's a ton of crossover with the ugly contingent of the 4chan crowd. A game thematically centered around religious fanaticism, genocide, intense militarism, and Western Culture™ tends to attract Nazis, Bible thumpers, and dudes who WOULD be Nazis and/or Bible thumpers if they hadn't grown up in a northern suburb and been exposed to militant atheism. It's by no means a majority of the community but it's just enough - and just hard enough to tell the difference between them and the good ones - to give the fan base a bad name.
Hans: Yes, and so is everyone else.
I giggled way too hard at Magnus' Warp Didgeridoo.
Crimsonis (late as all hell but whatever)
And the Aussie Daemons.
Priceless!
Same
1:18 "What are you actually doing?"
"Recording my album. 'Warp Didgeridoo'."
Thomas Wright
Aussie Daemons are great.
Rustymcnut them and emps daemons.
"Gaze upon this" *unstoppable laughter of pity*
From now on, I can only imagine the Necrons talking to each other like british nobility, yet not taking the universe seriously in any degree... Cracked me right up XD
+Krahog My favorite bit.
So what you are saying is the Newcrons are basically Monty Python's Flying Circus in 40k? Now I'm picturing Trazyn the Infinite as John Cleese...
ZOGGIN’ METAL BOYS TALK FUNNY. QUIT YAPPIN’ AN’ FOIGHT, YA SHINY GROTS!
God I love this community
Hmm, I love reading these comments made before a name change.
This episode is basically just “Hey, Magnus. You ever wonder why we’re here?”
A total grif and simmons moment
It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.
@@b3rz3rk3r9"......what?. I meant why are we out here, in this canyon?"
Ayyy I didn’t expect a red vs blue reference here
the entire history of the 40k universe, i guess
I love how the Custodes freaked out at the end
XD
+MakotoBro LMAO, agreed that was perfection.
Do you want to take a swim in the promethium pools with me?
Do you want to take a swim in the promethium pools with me?
Custodes just skinny dipped in the Warp.
YEAH EEH HYEEEH
That extremely subtle "Awaken" theme in the background when the Fabulous Custodes were calling for "Kitten" was very much appreciated in its attention to detail
Your detailed attention is appreciated, I had not noticed myself.
Equally appreciated is the Necrontyr singing “Crawling” at 15:14
Oh god that is beautiful.
@@PanzerPlant CRAWLING. IN. THEIR SKINS.
THEIR WOUNDS. WILL NEVER. HEAL.
I'm an outsider to 40k in general, but between this series and what lore I've learned from a friend who is really into the actual games, I've come to the conclusion that at literally any point in the timeline, one can accurately sum up the universe's state with: "And then it got worse."
I'm ashamed that our fandom is so simple and Outsider could figure it out
@@jacobaugustine6249 Don't fret about it. Nearly anything can be oversimplified to a level like that. WH40K's a little more dedicated than average to making everything grimdark, but all the interesting bits of a fandom are in the details anyway.
no no no, for awhile it got better and better for humanity, THEN it got worse when the elves BDSM fucked a god into existence, created the eye of terror and started all this shit, so remember, its not magnus's fault, per usual its goddamn elves
@@jacobaugustine6249 This is like gatekeeping, but you're complaining about your lore being comprehensive.
@@addison_v_ertisement1678 ???
The voice actor for magnus is so good he got me to play 1000 sons in 40k.
You are probably broke now after 2 years, contact me if you need financial advice
@⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻ my advice is to get a cat and play online.
Lord Felidae I do that lol
Dam.. and now I'm fucking a toaster
1000 of them? You must be really busy.
I like how The Emperor's story starts out describing an explosion of such huge proportions I'm rolling my eyes thinking it's Wh40k playing up their mythos, and then it turns out he's describing the big bang.
Yeah thought it was gonna be some fantasy take on the creation of the universe
Though he's only the emperor of one galaxy in countless billions, only he recognizes this.
Venusian Viking I mean when you think about it, it is. Nothing.... Nothing.... KABOOM...Everything.
@@AbysmalGaming
To our knowledge anyway. We don't currently have the capability to try and see what might or might not have happened before the Big Bang as of yet.
@@festethephule7553 "before the big bang" might be an oxymoron since it's entirely possible there wasn't any such thing as time "before" the big bang
Also good god the big bang is such a terrible name for something of that magnitude
Big E: in short, they created me.
Magnus: [gasps]
Custodes: [proceeds to look like a water balloon that hits an umbrella in slow motion]
Indeed
Emperor: Then, the energy exploded-
Magnus: Wait! WHAT!
Kitten: Oh ok, cool
"And probably some shrooms"
"shroOoms"
lets all take shrooms to awaken our psionic potential
@@dermilchmann25 -Gwyneth Paltrow.
Also i hate your name.
@@dermilchmann25
I’ve heard that one before.
It’s been almost eight years since this released. We are nearly in 10th edition. And the Necrons laughing condescendingly still fits.
Omg the fucking Necron cease and desist scene was amazing....
I like how this portrayed the Emperor like a surprisingly wholesome and worldly uncle who decides to tell his nephews and nieces some interesting stories about the world that he’s figured out. Super fun to listen to.
Now I pictured Lorgar having an existential crisis after learning about the Old Ones and the Big Bang.
After authoring both the Imperial Religion and the book of Lorgar he's now just curled in the fetal position: "How many times do I have to re-write the FUCKING BIBLE."
"G-gaze upon this, BWAHAHAHA"
"I CAN'T SEE A THING"
I laughed way too much for the situation.
Anyone noticed the ork who tried to get in on the Eldar action at 24:06, but was quickly rejected?
now i want an ork/eldar hybrid
Thor Klauson orks dont have dicks tho
True. Unless they evolve one. Orks evolve to fit their environment, don't they? Like Tyranids, but to a smaller degree.
is eldar pussy a enviroment?
Sure. Not what I meant, but sure.
The Emperor's throne jumping and spinning around never fails to make me smile.
Also, the Cosmos: Personal Voyage music sent me.
"An acid made of stupid "
I died at witless dildodes
i died at the end
I cannot die
*necrons laughing like their purpose is to laugh*
"i cannot see a thing"
*wheeeeeeeeeeeeeze"
FUNNY
New to fandom, didn't get the joke :c
Explain pls?
@@MrakoGears As far as i can see, that is not a lore joke. Its just funny.
@@MrakoGears the second one had no eyes, just a faceplate that stopped at it's nose
That is funny.
@@ChaplainPhantasm This is true...AIP DAMN IT I KEEP READING EVERYTHING IN HIS VOICE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
"Emperor: it is at this point that the idiotsayswhat species arose
Magnus and kitten: what?!!"
Hahaha this shit is so good bruv.
Can you explain to me the joke please. I still don’t get it sadly
@@benedictduggan7232 it is a classic verbal jab. You say ‘idiot says what’ really fast, so the target says ‘what?’ In confusion. Thusly, that makes them the idiot.
@@lordfelidae4505 ohhh my bad thanks
@@benedictduggan7232 Don't worry, Kitten didn't get it either. ;-)
@@lordfelidae4505dropped this, king 👑
fucking kittens reaction on the end
I just cant stop watching it.
what the fuck are you doing here
25:30 Kitten turns into an actual banana
Anthony mous beautiful
Every time I see that i burst out in laughter
🍌 25:31
The Captain-General transforms into a concave polygon
Goodbye for now bruva, we'll never forget what you and TTS crew gave us.
"Ellipses"
- The Man Emperor of Mankind
TTS irl doesn’t exactly have a good pronunciation
XD
"One Day, this Planet Might House Bus Drivers."
truly the most profound line in the history of Spacial analysis and parody, Alfa. true greatness.
"Killing all of your allies in the middle of a giant war was apparently a bad idea - who would have fucking thought!
Kills me every time!
Send it to commisar
I get that all the swearing is just for kicks and the younger audience, however I like to think the Emperor is cursing everyone out all the time because he is in horrendous pain 24/7 and only continues to try to do good because he's that great of a human being.
Yes, as it turns out.
Personally i think this is what high gothic sounds like...
@Juni Post if he's the perfection of humanity it mean we will never achieve good parenting XD
@@char1137 that's a great theory
@Cian Abroad that's him, officer! That's the heretic!
So Kitten has been serving the Emperor for 11 thousand years, and was still surprised when he found out he wasn't an actual God, nor did he want any religions?
Well, the Emperor was sitting quietly like a good and proper corpse for the majority of that time.
Emps is really bad at communication. So bad in fact that the Horus Heresy happened.
@@Dragonlover553 of course, Chaos scums want us to think that way.
@@AKUJIVALDO The other option is that he was a brain damaged sociopath and that’s the root of his bad decisions, like not telling the kids what he was working on. Banning psyker usage. Razing Monarchia and psychically forcing the legion most loyal to him to kneel in its ashes. Angron. He’s either Deeply divorced from humanity at large or self-deluded on a level that’s borderline, if mot outright, malevolent? Pick your poison, oh slave of the false emperor.
Realistically, custodes have never belived he was a god. They are amazed at his power and giga brain but they have always known he was never a God
I like that kitten says "Quiet you" in a motherly tone after being called stepmother.
Indeed, Stepmother XD
Is it bad that while reading the Horus heresy novels, Every time I read Magnus' parts, I keep reading it in the voice he has here now?
Azrael Ravenwing nope, to my knowledge this is the only speaking that has been done by a magnus role
@@josecolon2717 a bit late, but he was voiced in a trailer for a game, he sounded completely different. ( though I don't remember how)
He sounded like generic bad guy
Love the Korks/Orks reaction to no more Necrons to fight. No wonder they turned against their creators, they were built to fight a seemly immortal enemy and now...they were gone.
Emporer be like
I'm 10 shamans in a trench coat
🤣👍
Is that why he's so damn tall
Banana boy lost his shit
The celestial gas entities are actually quite cute. I think theyd make good plushies
Vampirepigslayrr if the necrontyr hadnt put them in literally steel suits, then yes
What about Custodes plushies
I now want Games Workshop to make 40k plushies so I can buy as many as possible.
nooooo don't turn me into a merketable plushy aaaaaaaaaaah
@@NacnudPinky god damnit, I want a skarbrand plush now the shouts "SKARBRAND DOESNT LIKE HUUGS!!"
"Ellipses."
That just makes me laugh in the context it was given.
i love kittens near explosion at the end
Nick N HUEEEH?!
This was my favorite episode by far. Every second of it was fantastic. Also the subtle sound design in the background of the origin story bits was fantastic.
Fun part about that was that I sat down and edited audio and was all like "y'know, this is missing some nice sounds, but I have no idea what kind of sounds would be nice to put in. Oh well, time for stupid sounds into the mic and we'll see what happens".
that fucking custodes scream at 25:29 had me literally dying of laughter
Kitten just experienced a knowledge orgasm brain overload. XD
The golden banana's reaction is amazing XD
Ezequiel Morales I love it too XD
Ezequiel Morales YEH
*YEH*
*_YEEEEEEEEEEH_*
+Ezequiel Morales AWW Crikey mate we gotta hide
+Kyerus Antonio i love how those deadbeat fucks are australians
Australia is the creation of the Chaos gods, nothing else can explain all the innumerable poison, biting, stinging and otherwise deadly creatures there
Gotta say Alfa, you fucking outdid yourself this time. I'm even in this, so that makes it grander than a sexual meatsafeast. I should fucking finish ep3 of my own plotshit now.
YEYA, COMPLIMENTS FROM KARL!
Also, yes, you should. Tell me if you require aid.
***** HELP ME
Karl the Deranged Don't do it Alfa! He'll eat your liver, and then turn into a Slaneeshi daemon!
Weird shit man. Weird shit.
Karl the Deranged Episode 3? You mean of FRESH TALES FROM THE CRYPT?
ThunderPsyker no you fuck
Magus idly floating around during the Emperor's story made me laugh way more than it should have.
I'm gonna take a line from Magnus' book for this one: "What?!?"
Seriously, were the Orks really created by the Old Ones? To fight the Necrons? And they fought besides the Eldars? If that's true then it's gonna take the first place in my top plotwist of all times.
Its true.
Killer Orca so it is true... Mind blow
You may also find interesting that Darth Vader is Luke's father. What are the odds!
KORKZ ARE DA BIGGEST N DA BADDEST! DA BRAINBOYZ ARE DA FINKERZ N DA KROK ARE DA FIGHTERZ!
KRORK SMASH! DA KRORKS IZ DA STRONGEST DEY IZ! AIN'T NO SPIFFY SPINELESS SPACE ELVEZ GONNA STOP US!
"ACTUALLY, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT HIS WIFE OR SOMETHING?"
YES. YES YOU ARE KITTEN. MY SHIP. IT SAILS.
Stand down of the entire imperial navy will fire upon your ship.
Launching cyclonic torpedoes.
Kill confirmed.
+Paul Mahoney
The ship sails on. Request more missiles.
Preparing Macro Cannon and Orbital Lance batteries. Attempting to locate home port of ship for 2-stage Cyclonic Torpedo Exterminatus.
Considering Magnus and the Thousand Sons are Tzeentch sworn Chaos followers, it makes sense why they sent a C&D letter to the Necrons instead of just invading every Necron Tomb World like Khorne sworn Chaos warbands would do.
What do you suppose Nurglites would do when faced with this sort of problem? It seems to me that the Necrons would be the hardest race in the galaxy for Nurgle's kin to deal with.
(Which leads me to the _opposing_ and completely tangential thought that a war between Nurglites and the Tyranid would be lit af. At least, I hope it'd be a war. If Nurgle _allied_ with the nids, pretty much everyone else would be fucked.)
Nurgle would feel with the conflicting theme by our living the enemy and sending rotten pie.
You would think Nurgle would struggle with Necrons. Then they made the ferric blight and even Morterian’s was surprised by how quickly it would rip through a tomb world.
@@mithiwithi Nurgle would send them viruses through shady emails
@@Thatonelurkingboi That's actually an interesting question. Are computer viruses close enough to living organisms (or close enough to biological viruses, rather) to fall under Nurgle's domain? Normally, I'd have guessed that computer viruses were the product of cleverness and thus would fall under Tzeentch.
@@isaachaahr8691 now THAT is interesting. The power of nature to reclaim the constructions of civilization. Like a city falling to overgrowth, except at magically enhanced speed.
To be brutally honest, this is some top-quality content you have here, Alfa. I've been giggling like a madman all throughout the episode.
Damn man, don't scare me like that! Usually "To be brutally honest" often follows with an explanation of how horrible my content is. THANK YOU THOUGH!
Ahehehe, the initial confusion might or might not have been my devious plot all along!
Regardless though, quality stuff this is.
Wert536
Snippy can´t be horrible!
Holy Terra this is great :D
I cannot wait for Emps to start telling them history of Mankind. Their heads are going to hurt when they learn how our race was before Emps came.
What happens if they learn about the creation of Matt ward then?
kenta nakai They won't be able to handle the so meta and raw power of our spiritual liege.
ExtraterrestrialDuck He is not the Spiritual Leige, he is an abomination so heretical, even the Chaos Gods despise him.
2SSSR2 You look familiar.... You made a few comments on some Sabaton videos right?
I also uploaded few ;)
"Yes yes, we've already sent a cease and desist order."
always cracks me up
The fact that the Emperor talks about Magnus' writing as "chicken scratchings" is hilarious foreshadowing.
I didn't actually know too much about Warhammer 40k lore before this.
I don't know if this video helped at all.
+Miagolio Maxwell Sure you do! Now you know that ancient psychic toad-men were the first species to evolve and created the Eldar, Necrons and Orks, along with the origin the Emprah himself. Surely you are all the better for knowing this :D
+Miagolio Maxwell
All the necron stuff is different now
***** maybe, but 40K is meant to be interpreted different ways since all lore is literally fictionalized accounts of history from one side or another. So you can, in fact, reject one reality and substitute your own :P
LordManda2 I guess so
Though I will probably burned at the stake for saying this...
But I actually like the new necron lore.
I mean, if you want a race of all consuming xenos with a mysterious back story, you could play Tyranids
***** I aint burning anyone. Like I said, its your choice what you want to see the 40k universe as.
5 years later, and I still appreciate the line, "Besides, I'm not Fulgrim."
I don't care if this is not canon material. I'm having a blast watching it. Keep on going!
It is dangerously correct in many parts, it's like 80% up to 100% right the whole time. You can kinda tell when they throw something in for LuLs. On the history side of things.
In gonna consider it canon because I can
It is head canon material though.
This is still one of my go-to episodes until Rogal shows up. :3
That noise when they find out the gas is sentient. *squeak*
I just noticed Magnus’s room literally has the Louvre in it. Or at least the pyramid.
I already miss this golden content. R.i.p all of the fan created content that was lost this day.
Our vigil waits honorable battle brother. One day the Alfabusa will return and rise from the golden throne
"You know, I left my heresy detector back in my chambers, but I can hear it going off from here."
For all the love that this project gets, I'm certain that it's still not enough, judging by the nuggets of gold (ha!) scattered all over.
"No spam box filter shall stop my glorious wisdom this time"
Hilarious
Gotta love 40k lore. I've heard, like, six different versions of the War in Heaven story, all from GW sources. I'll just use this video as the baseline, it's more fun anyway.
It *is* certainly more entertaining :3
This is the stuff that actually got me in this universe, and is also a very fucking good prologue. Not only you are a good comedian, but you can also write encyclopedias. I always show people this video to get them into this clusterfuck of a universe.
25:17 I nearly passed out from laughing at Custodes' reaction.
Ah the faint WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH at the board meeting of the old ones nice touch alfa
Episode is out and stuff, YEH.
If you notice any mistakes in the video (I did), keep in mind that I reeeeeally wanted to release this episode before the end of the month (which I also totally did).
Also, remember to check out Eliphas' BEHEMOTH video! It's in the same timeline as this series, so that's a fun fact. Can't go wrong with Tyranids.
Love this series keep up the good work!
10/10, would fap to again, my glorious Chapter Master.
Loving it! Can't wait for more history in the next one! :D Poor Custodes can't handle it.
I am worried that the centurion will fall to chaos. I also wand to summon Australian daemons now.
The Eldar were created to be warriors, much like the orks. Although I did laugh at all that anyway... And I guess you can't go wrong with a piece of wraithbone.
“This went swimmingly for everyone involved”
*Immediately backfires*
Honesty, Between the birth of Slaanesh, the Horus Heresy, and creation of the Inquisition alone, *So* many of the problems within the 40k universe could so easily be summed up in these words.
7:23 WHO'S A CUTE CENTURION? WHO'S A CUTE CENTURION WHOSACUTECENTURIONWHOAWOBBLEBUBBLE
It is I,
R O G A L D O R N
@@pranavghantasala6808 eeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyyeyeyeyyeyey
Magnus with the didgeridoo gets me everytime
I only JUST REALIZED what that thing was.
This video was my introduction to 40k lore some 7-odd years ago. Now my mind is forever tainted by the most obscure trivia of this clusterfuck of a setting. Thank you, Alfa.
"Ferocious plasteel dicks" is my new favourite phrase.
Sargon of Akkad oh wow! awesome to see you here, Sargon! how long have you been following this series? didn't quite expect ya to like 40k stuff.
you watch this too! YAAAY!
Holy fuck its SARGON.
Sargon is into Wh40k? That's..... ABSOLUTELY HERETICAL
*Purging intensifies*.
Didn't expect to see you here :D
Fucking hell the ending caught me off guard
How... you read the script didn't you?
James Seager More of this show is ad-libbed than you might think
OK, thanks for letting me know. PS when will I be expecting the next retrospective review on Dawn of War?
James Seager Mid-October I think
+ThunderPsyker this year? I hope it's this year
Favorite bit from this has to be the opening joke.
The idea that magnus just had a couple of tentacle demon buddies who AREN’T going around spreading havoc in the imperial palace but are rather just hanging out with magnus is hilarious.
19:17 I'm pretty sure that was Old Joseph Joestar going "OOOOOOHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO!" there. Which made me smile.
A race of Reality bending powers, fueled by crowd mentality? So, Tumblr?
Filled with bloodthirsty psychopaths, impossible to completely stop, practically anonymous, capable of the most horrible tortures, with no patience, no mercy, and no scruples?
Orks are 4chan.
A combination of the two
I don't remember the orks losing their shit at people that call them by the wrong pronoun
Orks actually make reality bend to their will. Tumblrists cry because reality does not change.
@@PGawol What? Orks lose their shit at everything. They are constantly losing their shit. They lose so much shit if they so much as think you are stealing fishies from them.
Also, I'm fairly certain orks are completely genderless, what with being spores and all.
"Now named the Necrons for some reason"
Well, having your soul ripped out is enough to make anyone shed a tyr
Lmao
ooooooooooooooooooooOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
I'm happy to have had a hand in this.
Also I lost it at the Old Joseph scream.
I will now publically thank you for the glorious pictures you provided for the episode.
ALL HAIL NOST
Magnus: "Indeed stepmother"
Kitten : "First of all, quiet you"
🤣🤣🤣
11:35-11:47 I love how the emperor just casually mentions magic the gathering, assassins creed, and fourth wall breaks.
He had to play something for 38 millenia. Explains how he figured out how to play yugioh properly and understand the rules
That slow increasing "waaaagh!" Hahaha, sweet emperor I love this channel
Fuck I learned something
The more you know, the more you can PUNCH THE COCK OUT OF THINGS.
I already know that. I have a manual for it:
Step 1: Make fist or grab blunt object
Step 2: Yell profanity and throw the Emprah in there somehow
Step 3: Keep profanity and charge
Step 4: HIT THEM IN THE DICK
*sidenote, if no dick to be found, hit them all the same. it's for the Emprah*
Step 5: Just fucking keep hitting them. You can't read anyway
***** fuck, an angry marine actually calmed down long enough to write a manual on how to kill things in the name of the Emprah 0_0
Darksiddha Must be one of their Techmarines or Chaplains.
Darksiddha
It happens only when a vegetarian is force fed a double cheeseburger
11:34 are we just going to ignore the fact that he went though the reasons for the Big Bang and some video game reasons. Like the precersers from Halo and the bunch of geeks with nothing better to do then create a badass fictional universe for the perps of selling some expensive plastic miniatures Edit: 12:29 SOPE BEENS
The "idiotdsayswhat" joke was so unexpected. I died at Magnus' reaction xD
God dammit i love this show. I actually know very little of the whole 40k setting and warhammer, except a few stumbles I've had with the wiki of it (and then i spent several hours reading about the Emperor and the orks. And i loved it!). So this is mostly new stuff to me. And it's well written and really interesting to listen to and watch. This show's been going for a while now, and it still feels so fresh. I really gotta admire your ability to create something like this, Alfa. "Great work" doesn't even begin to describe the whole project.
Also, the last few seconds (aka, the reactions of the two listeners) literally made me laugh out loud so loud that a tear came out of my eye. Hell, i still start laughing when i even think about it. I loved it
TheOwlslayer This comment I do like. Very much so. Everyone should take inspiration from Owlslayer on how to write flattering comments, he the best.
"The old ones were near extinct, the eldar were still scared shitless - and worst of all, the Krorks with no necrons left to fight, turned on their creators since the old ones had forgotten to install a fucking off switch." ~ God Emperor of Mankind
This is fucking beautiful. Loved every second of it, as well as the animation style. Glorious.
And senpai Alpha even noticed me. Best day this year.
13:50 [Mischievous choas laughter]
Get TTS' writers to write actual 40K, they'll be more consistent than the current team :^)
Kitten's reaction to learning the origin of the Emperor will always be hysterical
By the dark gods! I thought that exact same joke with the wraith bone!
I think Slaanesh has corrupted me a bit too much.
Nonsense! In 40k there is never enough dakka and/or the r34 god/dess inside you
Heresy!
Cohen Marlow Literally.
We cannot deny our grand fathers expectations but that doesn't mean we have to live without the pleasure in life...
that is MORE DAKKA!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
***** That's the problem with those edgy sons of bitches. The ruinous powers were spawned cuz the lack of common fucking decency, and now we all constantly have to deal with their teenage rebellious emo shit.