Don’t expect a person who treated you like trash to give you closure. It doesn’t happen. I’m 3 years removed from my toxic ex and believe me it never comes. The best closure and revenge is moving on, blocking them on everything, and accomplishing your dreams. Life is too short to deal with toxic people. You got this survivors!
That's a man made construct. Atleast then some of it should work, like closure...just the some. As black or white,,, chalk and charcoal. We can't atheitize eachother without a common sense of self.
This is my 4th year No contract with ex- narcissist. They don’t give you closure, they don’t have the capability to understand what they did and the damage they cause, no integrity, no empathy. No need closure anyway
It’s been a long 3 months no contact. He lives 2,500 miles away. He’s still Hoovering me. I wanted so badly to let him feel my pain but No. I know he will get me back and hurt me psychologically, emotionally. No more pain. He still stalks me. Although he’s blocked on social media. He uses fake phone numbers, fake profiles, his 6 year old daughter called me. I will not give him any fuel. I know he is so mad because I won’t respond. But I was his best supply. I financially supported him on my limited income. I learned my lesson. God made me see what I could not see🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Trust, they are very happy thinking they are they key to your closure. Deny them that satisfaction and close that door yourself. Leave them with egg in their face and keep it moving. Heal yourself. Pamper yourself. Enjoy your life.
I’m trying to walk away completely and try to start healing mostly from the loss of my mom/best friend. I do not feel like I will be able to deal and except tht if I’m with him. 🙏
I have spent the last 18 months healing from a narcissistic abusive relationship and going from a mental breakdown and down on my luck, no job, no money, 4 months behind on my rent, 1 week from getting evicted, to now, I’m living in the Capitol, in a house and one of the more expensive addresses in Copenhagen. I never thought this would happen to me. And it only took 18 months. I’m am so proud of myself and have I have achieved. I learned a lot about myself during the healing process, like why I’m a magnet to broken girls, and why narcissists see me as a perfect victim, it was because I was Codependent and it stems from my childhood and the abuse I got from my ex triggered the cptsd, but I learned to spot these people now. Thanks to You Jesse Jess (love your honesty) and Dr Ramani and Lisa… I’ve watched all your videos day in and day out. I am not codependent anymore. and once you know who to deal with these demons, they are pretty harmless. Narcissists have to have drama or be in a relationship all the time otherwise they get sick, just like heroine addicts. It’s just they way they are, and they will continue this pattern all of their life, everyone they meet along their way will get the same treatment. Love bomb, devalue, discard, reload…. I have learned not to take what she did to me personally, I was just another supply. But good things come to good people, look where this abusive relationship took me. To the people just breaking free from a narcissist, hang in there it will get better trust me….but I’m not going to lie, Healing from a narcissistic abuse is the HARDEST thing I’ve done in my life, but if it hadn’t happened I wouldn’t be where I am in my life right now. I’m glad I learned a lesson and I’m thankful for the good times I had too, not everything was bad, but it wasn’t real that’s not the person she is, her mask came off very quickly after she knew she had me locked down… nuff said and a new chapter in my life is starting and I will use my time on me and the people who I love. To my abusive Ex I wish you the best, but you’ve already had it 😈. Thank you for your videos Jesse you have no idea how much you’ve helped me, and I’m sure helping others…
Heh heh I feel very called out. I asked my ex for closure just recently. I asked him to write me a goodbye email. I felt like I deserved that since he has been in my life for 11 years and then one day it all suddenly ends because he finds someone else. We'll see if he writes that goodbye letter. If not, it can be more proof to me that he doesn't care and won't put any effort in
Closure never comes from the narcissist. But we do not need them for closure. We are mentally healthy individuals, and we can make our own closure. Really dig down into your feelings. I was so sad when we divorced. But I came to realize I was not so much sad about losing her. I was sad because I was holding onto hope for what COULD HAVE BEEN. Once I realized a divorce was always inevitable and she was not going to change, and she has to live with how she is and doing this to all her future relationships, it brought closure to me.
Your closure is only found in YOU. Your closure is your healing. Your closure is found in reaching that mountaintop called INDIFFERENCE. Your closure is in staying no contact, keeping them barred from you mind and spirit. Your closure is in putting them, and the fake relationship (because you were the only one invested) in the rearview mirror. Don't waste your time on rumination or feeling like you messed it all up. IT WASN'T YOU!!! And PLEASE, don't jump into another relationship to alleviate the pain. You need to heal, because these clowns really mess up your mind, body, and spirit. Love yourself enough to go out and live your best life...chin up, shoulders back...head held high!!! You are worthy! 💪🏽💗💪🏽💗💪🏽
It is my firm belief that there are only two teams here in this realm. You are aligned with the creator or you are not. Spiritual Warfare is real. If you are not on the creators team, then demons, persons without bodies, have access to you. I believe that this the answer to why all narcs basically do the SAME thing. It is how thousands of us can come on a channel like this and we are all having the same downwind experience.
You are so right Jess. Actions definitely speaks louder than words. They show you who they are over time. Stop making excuses for people who abuse and disrespect you.
Someone who had abused you over the years could have never loved you. That's your closure! For me, personally, i got my closure the day i walked away from that abusive, one-sided, toxic, low vibrational relationship. It took me immense strength to do that 2 years ago. Wasnt easy breaking the trauma bond but i did it. For me mt closure is my healing. It doesnt happen over night but if there's consistency, willingness and hard work, anyone can break away from the toxic narc...
You give yourself closure..the narcissist knows what you want and won't give it to you..They are still being in 'power' mode..don't let them have that power..Go no NC..the healing will come..be gentle with yourself..forgive yourself for being a loving human being and that you gave it all you had..replaying over and over is a waste of your time.. you already gave enough time to an empty shell of a person..
Hi Jess. I Never expected or wanted CLOSURE from him. I just said goodbye and left. Pictures were ALL discarded, and my engagement 💍 was sold. I wasn't getting married anyway! He never gave me any gifts, not that I wanted any, so all I had was photos. I would have been blamed for everything anyway. No Closure means nothing to me, but I know that a lot of people do need it. I hear it all the time.
You'll never get closure from them, once I found out what I was dealing with, I figured it out I was the light at the end of the tunnel, so I got off the roller coaster ride and have never looked back 👍 Jess thanks for the video 🦋
must say.... this is the best one you have done miss jess. I do own my own shit .... took a bit and i sure went through it.... but i put in the work and now i love my life again.... thanks jess
You do get closure from the Narc. But you have to do the closing. Its not coming from them. You have to accept that what they did, affected you then, but changes nothing now. Don't get angry, don't need them to heal. You heal yourself.
When you move on and heal, that’s when karma will wreck all havoc and hell on these people. Even if they find someone else to destroy, they will go through life as they always have and always will.
wholy fucking shit Jess, you are so spot on with this. as much as it pissed me off at first to hear how I had to be responsible for my own shit, it's so true. I allowed this fuck to treat me this way. thank you for this video and your words of wisdom 💜
Thanks for the insight. I tried tonight to have exactly what you described about closure. I wanted to have her tell me all the awful and disgusting things that she did to hurt and embarrass me. I knew before I tried to even pick up the phone that there was none to be found. I called and was calm and rational. I asked if she had time to talk, and please hear me out before she responded. I maybe got 5 words out before the dismissal and typical overbearing mouth of her usual blame game started. She tried to provoke a reaction from me but I stood strong. The typical her side and rage came out, then hung up on. I called 5 more times just to have the same abusive things happen. I gave up and told myself that I was stupid for giving her the satisfaction of control and manipulation again. Sad thing is I'm dealing with the guilt and shame of why I expected something I never had all this time with her. I refuse to hear anything she will have to say in the future. Thank you for everything you said in this video. I should've saved myself time and effort. It's ok tho, she is what she will always be and she needed what she took from me. Love, respect, and honor. She needed it because she never has it, and I generate it naturally. So while her suppy runs dry from me, I build mine back up.
After being discarded and blocked with no closure, I was recently, indirectly, hoovered, smeared and received a character assassination. I simply had the message relayed back "Thank you for the closure". 😮 I win! 😆 lol
Wow you are so right. I have been enraged and dumping emails for a year. Oh man you are right it’s my problem. He was toxic. I am expecting a toxic person to be somehow non toxic. But I guess deep feelings can drive us.
yeah I am sad now I wasted my life on those emails though...but then it was cathartic...man I just thought he would block me and it wouldn't matter that much. I dunno. He left me with a lot of unanswered questions when he just took off to Leeds.
They realize at the end that we’ve had enough of them , So once we got tired of this person we come full force stand up for yourself , Honestly this person thinks they have the good good . Not at all , If you don’t want this abuse to continue ,stop throwing yourself at the fan , ❤ Thanks Jess !
Wow, it was so powerful to get the brain accept what is so obvious but blinded by emotions and sense of "common sense and justice". Actions speak louder than words, why wait the words that won't be coming anyway? Thank you so much! Subscribed and going to listen to this a lot until I really really get it!
I'm going through the sit in shit lol feeling right now. Dam girl you're awesome and your dead on. I can't thank you enough for this video. Possibly saved my life. Seriously. Thank you
Hard if it's your mother who never cared, abundoned you as a child, but now, in her old age, wants to know nothing what it was like. There is no closure. Being a narcissist is not caring if you child dead or alive, safe or not. Acting as an insect, not raising, protecting, explaining, loving, being present. Then word "mother", "Mother's Day" are such scary words, there is nothing warm or nice there.
Thank you Jess, for giving me the best definition of closure with a narc.. I got mine when they showed me who they really were and how little they really cared. I will not give them another opportunity to show me how little I mean to them.
Thank you so much for all your helpful contents. Your video is how I have been surviving since my narc ghosted me. I wanted closure so bad I was going to break up first, but he caught me unaware, and after a 2 second argument, he disappeared leaving me so broken.
Love Bomb Devalue Discard Re-Load this is what they do and will always do. Don’t take it personally what they did to you. You are not there anymore, and all your problems went away when the narc went away. I know what is was like to fight daily battles in your head with a person you no longer have contact with… Bon Jovi “welcome to wherever you are, this is your life, you made it this far”
Very, very excellent! It took me a few years to figure this out, but hearing it this way from another person, really confirms my beliefs and even changes the framework from which I now view this situation.
We have been married for 30 years, together for 33. He instantly stopped talking to me. Turns out he was on Tinder and Plenty of Fish. Had an affair. Left me and the kids a year and a half ago. Literally hasn’t contacted anyone. Like we were nothing. 33 years and I got one hour to talk to try and grapple with what was happening out of the blue. He said he did all he could to help me accept his decision. Wow. It’s been a tough and long road. All the lies I have found out since. I was married to a thief, a cheater, a liar and someone who lived a double life. It’s incomprehensible. After getting through the shock and the deep sorrow about my life blowing up, without him even feeling sorry, I am Just beginning to notice my life is calmer. He always had chaos going on. But that makes sense now with all of the lies we found. Looking back, there were signs. I just always forgave. No more.
Just as an apology from a chronic liar, is most often insincere and meaningless…why would any form of explanation or closer, from an emotionally abusive partner…be any different? The closure we get, comes from leaving them. It doesn’t have to be explained. You can never get the truth from them anyway, so make up your own truth and go with that. And the truth is…your partner is a chronic liar, cheater, controlling, critical, untrustworthy addict. Done.
Hi Jess, thank you for all your content, it's helped me so much on my journey out of my own narc partner hell. I notice you've not added any content lately, I hope it's because you're having a great vacation/ break atm and all is well for you? 🙏
Nope you will not get closure unless they try to come back to you, you may get some small closure and an apology if they want something from you. My soon to be narc ex cheated on me, blamed it on me and then told me to just move on and accept he cheated on me lol. I was so hurt, wanted an apology and closure. Maybe someday I’ll get it but highly doubtful. Let them see you happy! I ghosted my soon to be ex husband.
Jess great advice but what about when they keep insisting they “love you & miss you” after they have abused you and disrespected you that you had no choice but to leave? Would love a video on that please when you’re forced to leave but they still Hoover saying they “love you”. Thanks for you’re hard work 🙏❤️
I think their "love" is more of a "pitying " type of love, if that makes sense. You are the IP ( Identified Patient), so there will always be something "wrong" with you. I think on some level they love us, but not enough for them to change and to do the hard things.
Hi Jess! In your experience would a narcissist make a comment like “you don’t know me” in anger? I flat out told mine he was a narcissist and that’s what I got told in return. He decided to discard me as soon as I showed I was my own person with my own needs and wanted to spend more time together because I felt neglected. He said “we’re not right for each other.” I said “you don’t even know me well enough to say that because you didn’t even give us a chance to rectify this” and I called him a narcissist because of his temper and this sudden discard (along with other behaviors he exhibited while distant which resembled those of a player). He then said it’s hypocritical of me to call him a narcissist because I don’t really know him either along with “you don’t know me.” I then got blocked with a shallow blanket empty apology with no specificities or answers about anything he did wrong.
Flimshaw, I always understood closure as slamming the trunk after cramming her in there and rigging the accelerator with a 2x4 sending the car into a ravine or possibly a gorge.
Don’t expect a person who treated you like trash to give you closure. It doesn’t happen. I’m 3 years removed from my toxic ex and believe me it never comes. The best closure and revenge is moving on, blocking them on everything, and accomplishing your dreams. Life is too short to deal with toxic people. You got this survivors!
💯
That's a man made construct.
Atleast then some of it should work, like closure...just the some.
As black or white,,, chalk and charcoal.
We can't atheitize eachother without a common sense of self.
I don't need closure I know what they are that's enough closure for me
This is my 4th year No contract with ex- narcissist.
They don’t give you closure, they don’t have the capability to understand what they did and the damage they cause, no integrity, no empathy.
No need closure anyway
It’s been a long 3 months no contact. He lives 2,500 miles away. He’s still Hoovering me. I wanted so badly to let him feel my pain but No. I know he will get me back and hurt me psychologically, emotionally. No more pain. He still stalks me. Although he’s blocked on social media. He uses fake phone numbers, fake profiles, his 6 year old daughter called me. I will not give him any fuel. I know he is so mad because I won’t respond. But I was his best supply. I financially supported him on my limited income. I learned my lesson. God made me see what I could not see🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Trust, they are very happy thinking they are they key to your closure. Deny them that satisfaction and close that door yourself. Leave them with egg in their face and keep it moving. Heal yourself. Pamper yourself. Enjoy your life.
I’m trying to walk away completely and try to start healing mostly from the loss of my mom/best friend. I do not feel like I will be able to deal and except tht if I’m with him. 🙏
I have spent the last 18 months healing from a narcissistic abusive relationship and going from a mental breakdown and down on my luck, no job, no money, 4 months behind on my rent, 1 week from getting evicted, to now, I’m living in the Capitol, in a house and one of the more expensive addresses in Copenhagen. I never thought this would happen to me. And it only took 18 months. I’m am so proud of myself and have I have achieved. I learned a lot about myself during the healing process, like why I’m a magnet to broken girls, and why narcissists see me as a perfect victim, it was because I was Codependent and it stems from my childhood and the abuse I got from my ex triggered the cptsd, but I learned to spot these people now. Thanks to You Jesse Jess (love your honesty) and Dr Ramani and Lisa… I’ve watched all your videos day in and day out. I am not codependent anymore. and once you know who to deal with these demons, they are pretty harmless. Narcissists have to have drama or be in a relationship all the time otherwise they get sick, just like heroine addicts. It’s just they way they are, and they will continue this pattern all of their life, everyone they meet along their way will get the same treatment. Love bomb, devalue, discard, reload…. I have learned not to take what she did to me personally, I was just another supply. But good things come to good people, look where this abusive relationship took me. To the people just breaking free from a narcissist, hang in there it will get better trust me….but I’m not going to lie, Healing from a narcissistic abuse is the HARDEST thing I’ve done in my life, but if it hadn’t happened I wouldn’t be where I am in my life right now. I’m glad I learned a lesson and I’m thankful for the good times I had too, not everything was bad, but it wasn’t real that’s not the person she is, her mask came off very quickly after she knew she had me locked down… nuff said and a new chapter in my life is starting and I will use my time on me and the people who I love. To my abusive Ex I wish you the best, but you’ve already had it 😈. Thank you for your videos Jesse you have no idea how much you’ve helped me, and I’m sure helping others…
The closure is you going no contact and staying no contact then moving on with your life
Heh heh I feel very called out. I asked my ex for closure just recently. I asked him to write me a goodbye email. I felt like I deserved that since he has been in my life for 11 years and then one day it all suddenly ends because he finds someone else. We'll see if he writes that goodbye letter. If not, it can be more proof to me that he doesn't care and won't put any effort in
Same exact thing here--Hang in there, we gots this.....
Closure never comes from the narcissist. But we do not need them for closure. We are mentally healthy individuals, and we can make our own closure. Really dig down into your feelings. I was so sad when we divorced. But I came to realize I was not so much sad about losing her. I was sad because I was holding onto hope for what COULD HAVE BEEN. Once I realized a divorce was always inevitable and she was not going to change, and she has to live with how she is and doing this to all her future relationships, it brought closure to me.
This was my situation
Your closure is only found in YOU.
Your closure is your healing.
Your closure is found in reaching that mountaintop called INDIFFERENCE.
Your closure is in staying no contact, keeping them barred from you mind and spirit.
Your closure is in putting them, and the fake relationship (because you were the only one invested) in the rearview mirror.
Don't waste your time on rumination or feeling like you messed it all up.
IT WASN'T YOU!!!
And PLEASE, don't jump into another relationship to alleviate the pain. You need to heal, because these clowns really mess up your mind, body, and spirit.
Love yourself enough to go out and live your best life...chin up, shoulders back...head held high!!! You are worthy! 💪🏽💗💪🏽💗💪🏽
It is my firm belief that there are only two teams here in this realm. You are aligned with the creator or you are not. Spiritual Warfare is real. If you are not on the creators team, then demons, persons without bodies, have access to you. I believe that this the answer to why all narcs basically do the SAME thing. It is how thousands of us can come on a channel like this and we are all having the same downwind experience.
You are so right Jess. Actions definitely speaks louder than words. They show you who they are over time. Stop making excuses for people who abuse and disrespect you.
Meeting 5 deputies, an eviction notice, and a unfounded restraining order. That's plenty of closure for me!
Someone who had abused you over the years could have never loved you. That's your closure! For me, personally, i got my closure the day i walked away from that abusive, one-sided, toxic, low vibrational relationship. It took me immense strength to do that 2 years ago. Wasnt easy breaking the trauma bond but i did it. For me mt closure is my healing. It doesnt happen over night but if there's consistency, willingness and hard work, anyone can break away from the toxic narc...
You give yourself closure..the narcissist knows what you want and won't give it to you..They are still being in 'power' mode..don't let them have that power..Go no NC..the healing will come..be gentle with yourself..forgive yourself for being a loving human being and that you gave it all you had..replaying over and over is a waste of your time.. you already gave enough time to an empty shell of a person..
You cannot return to what made you sick....in order to somehow make you well
Hi Jess. I Never expected or wanted CLOSURE from him. I just said goodbye and left. Pictures were ALL discarded, and my engagement 💍 was sold. I wasn't getting married anyway! He never gave me any gifts, not that I wanted any, so all I had was photos. I would have been blamed for everything anyway. No Closure means nothing to me, but I know that a lot of people do need it. I hear it all the time.
You'll never get closure from them, once I found out what I was dealing with, I figured it out I was the light at the end of the tunnel, so I got off the roller coaster ride and have never looked back 👍 Jess thanks for the video 🦋
My wife ghosted me only after 2 years
Exactly
Haven't heard from her since
WTF???
must say.... this is the best one you have done miss jess. I do own my own shit .... took a bit and i sure went through it.... but i put in the work and now i love my life again.... thanks jess
You do get closure from the Narc. But you have to do the closing. Its not coming from them. You have to accept that what they did, affected you then, but changes nothing now. Don't get angry, don't need them to heal. You heal yourself.
The Best Advice On The Topic Of Dealing With Having Been With A Narcissist On TH-cam 🙌
When you move on and heal, that’s when karma will wreck all havoc and hell on these people. Even if they find someone else to destroy, they will go through life as they always have and always will.
I agree about giving up on "closure".....it's actually perfectly OK to hate someone for the rest of your life. P.S. I'm Sicilian.
Sad but true!!! There will always be a bunch of questions, things no one can understand, and there will never be an answer to all of them.
Living off the green.
The minds constraints are so partial to the walls we build around it. Whatever could we should paint it.
The best teams through.
You Speak Real Truth Jess. Thank you for reinforcing that. I’d rather hear the Real Truth. ❤️🙏🏽
Great advice as always.
wholy fucking shit Jess, you are so spot on with this. as much as it pissed me off at first to hear how I had to be responsible for my own shit, it's so true. I allowed this fuck to treat me this way. thank you for this video and your words of wisdom 💜
at 10:45, this message is crucial...
Easier said than done. But we must be prepared for no closure, sometimes there is none.
Bitter pill to swallow, but you're so right.
Thanks for the insight. I tried tonight to have exactly what you described about closure. I wanted to have her tell me all the awful and disgusting things that she did to hurt and embarrass me. I knew before I tried to even pick up the phone that there was none to be found. I called and was calm and rational. I asked if she had time to talk, and please hear me out before she responded. I maybe got 5 words out before the dismissal and typical overbearing mouth of her usual blame game started. She tried to provoke a reaction from me but I stood strong. The typical her side and rage came out, then hung up on. I called 5 more times just to have the same abusive things happen. I gave up and told myself that I was stupid for giving her the satisfaction of control and manipulation again. Sad thing is I'm dealing with the guilt and shame of why I expected something I never had all this time with her. I refuse to hear anything she will have to say in the future. Thank you for everything you said in this video. I should've saved myself time and effort. It's ok tho, she is what she will always be and she needed what she took from me. Love, respect, and honor. She needed it because she never has it, and I generate it naturally. So while her suppy runs dry from me, I build mine back up.
I need to remember this like a prayer
After being discarded and blocked with no closure, I was recently, indirectly, hoovered, smeared and received a character assassination. I simply had the message relayed back "Thank you for the closure". 😮 I win! 😆 lol
Wow you are so right. I have been enraged and dumping emails for a year. Oh man you are right it’s my problem. He was toxic. I am expecting a toxic person to be somehow non toxic. But I guess deep feelings can drive us.
yeah I am sad now I wasted my life on those emails though...but then it was cathartic...man I just thought he would block me and it wouldn't matter that much. I dunno. He left me with a lot of unanswered questions when he just took off to Leeds.
This tough love is so refreshing. Thank you!
They realize at the end that we’ve had enough of them , So once we got tired of this person we come full force stand up for yourself , Honestly this person thinks they have the good good . Not at all , If you don’t want this abuse to continue ,stop throwing yourself at the fan , ❤ Thanks Jess !
Really great video 👍👍 I needed this today 😊
Wow, it was so powerful to get the brain accept what is so obvious but blinded by emotions and sense of "common sense and justice". Actions speak louder than words, why wait the words that won't be coming anyway? Thank you so much! Subscribed and going to listen to this a lot until I really really get it!
Thank you so much for this message💞
This was so on point!! They have shown you
and we want that closure so very much…it will only open the door to more hurt…
Brutal honesty ☺️ and so Needed! Tough love And it's hurting Tfs 💕😘
I'm going through the sit in shit lol feeling right now. Dam girl you're awesome and your dead on. I can't thank you enough for this video. Possibly saved my life. Seriously. Thank you
Hard if it's your mother who never cared, abundoned you as a child, but now, in her old age, wants to know nothing what it was like. There is no closure. Being a narcissist is not caring if you child dead or alive, safe or not. Acting as an insect, not raising, protecting, explaining, loving, being present. Then word "mother", "Mother's Day" are such scary words, there is nothing warm or nice there.
Your videos are truly the best out of all the people on TH-cam. Thank you
Thank you Jess, for giving me the best definition of closure with a narc..
I got mine when they showed me who they really were and how little they really cared. I will not give them another opportunity to show me how little I mean to them.
Thank you so much for all your helpful contents. Your video is how I have been surviving since my narc ghosted me. I wanted closure so bad I was going to break up first, but he caught me unaware, and after a 2 second argument, he disappeared leaving me so broken.
Love Bomb
Devalue
Discard
Re-Load
this is what they do and will always do. Don’t take it personally what they did to you. You are not there anymore, and all your problems went away when the narc went away.
I know what is was like to fight daily battles in your head with a person you no longer have contact with… Bon Jovi “welcome to wherever you are, this is your life, you made it this far”
Very, very excellent! It took me a few years to figure this out, but hearing it this way from another person, really confirms my beliefs and even changes the framework from which I now view this situation.
Really nicely done. Makes all the sense in the world.....
I just love listening too you, more and more every time. You’re honest and you’re 100% correct, no let me change that. You’re one million % correct.
Another great “tell it like it is” video, Jess. Thanks.
Awesome message Jess. In regards to closure, if they never regarded you, they didn't discard you.
Love and light from Tasmania Australia 💜
Thank you…had to listen twice…truth well said…
This is excellent - thank you, Jess!
The closure for me was the disrespect I got from the relationship with her.
I need to move on and so the closer needs to happen with me. 🥰
Thanks!
Jess, can you please add this to your Spotify podcast catalog? Would appreciate it.
🙏 Beautiful facts. Thank you Jess. ❤️🫀🧠💪
Closure never comes from them. This disrespect is the closure.
Very informative video and so true. Thanks
Keep up the good work Jess
True - discarded by phone
so I gave myself closure by creating a song called Narcissist by ESB 808
We have been married for 30 years, together for 33. He instantly stopped talking to me. Turns out he was on Tinder and Plenty of Fish. Had an affair. Left me and the kids a year and a half ago. Literally hasn’t contacted anyone. Like we were nothing. 33 years and I got one hour to talk to try and grapple with what was happening out of the blue. He said he did all he could to help me accept his decision. Wow. It’s been a tough and long road. All the lies I have found out since. I was married to a thief, a cheater, a liar and someone who lived a double life. It’s incomprehensible. After getting through the shock and the deep sorrow about my life blowing up, without him even feeling sorry, I am Just beginning to notice my life is calmer. He always had chaos going on. But that makes sense now with all of the lies we found. Looking back, there were signs. I just always forgave. No more.
top thinking thanks
Thanks, Jess. I needed that cold dose of reality.
"Closure" is a Disney Fairy Tale they sold Us in the 1990s. I got over THAT LIE way back then. I hope you do too!
Ive come to realize that in life sometimes you're the pigeon and sometimes you're the statue.
Thank you 🙏
Your the best Chanel out here y😊ou tell us how it is and what we need to hear. Thank you
Just as an apology from a chronic liar, is most often insincere and meaningless…why would any form of explanation or closer, from an emotionally abusive partner…be any different? The closure we get, comes from leaving them. It doesn’t have to be explained. You can never get the truth from them anyway, so make up your own truth and go with that. And the truth is…your partner is a chronic liar, cheater, controlling, critical, untrustworthy addict. Done.
+Jess Stanley Praise the LORD amen, Jess Stanley. amen. God bless. Agape love❤
Hi Jess, thank you for all your content, it's helped me so much on my journey out of my own narc partner hell. I notice you've not added any content lately, I hope it's because you're having a great vacation/ break atm and all is well for you? 🙏
Nope you will not get closure unless they try to come back to you, you may get some small closure and an apology if they want something from you. My soon to be narc ex cheated on me, blamed it on me and then told me to just move on and accept he cheated on me lol. I was so hurt, wanted an apology and closure. Maybe someday I’ll get it but highly doubtful. Let them see you happy! I ghosted my soon to be ex husband.
Thank you Amen....
Markus with a k checking in
No closure rember they are the victim ..
I need narc rehab
Jess great advice but what about when they keep insisting they “love you & miss you” after they have abused you and disrespected you that you had no choice but to leave? Would love a video on that please when you’re forced to leave but they still Hoover saying they “love you”. Thanks for you’re hard work 🙏❤️
I think their "love" is more of a "pitying " type of love, if that makes sense. You are the IP ( Identified Patient), so there will always be something "wrong" with you. I think on some level they love us, but not enough for them to change and to do the hard things.
🙏❤
Are you having a live tonight?
Hi Jess! In your experience would a narcissist make a comment like “you don’t know me” in anger? I flat out told mine he was a narcissist and that’s what I got told in return. He decided to discard me as soon as I showed I was my own person with my own needs and wanted to spend more time together because I felt neglected. He said “we’re not right for each other.” I said “you don’t even know me well enough to say that because you didn’t even give us a chance to rectify this” and I called him a narcissist because of his temper and this sudden discard (along with other behaviors he exhibited while distant which resembled those of a player). He then said it’s hypocritical of me to call him a narcissist because I don’t really know him either along with “you don’t know me.” I then got blocked with a shallow blanket empty apology with no specificities or answers about anything he did wrong.
"Closure" is EXTREMELY overrated, anyway.
I mean the term is so overused, it's lost what flimsy meaning it ever had for start.
Flimshaw, I always understood closure as slamming the trunk after cramming her in there and rigging the accelerator with a 2x4 sending the car into a ravine or possibly a gorge.
Not sure I understand the need for profanity.