MONTESSORI AT HOME: A Relaxed Approach to Toilet Learning

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 84

  • @natalieeuley1734
    @natalieeuley1734 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Keep in mind that the child has to want to, as well. I don't exactly remember why I didn't want to for so long but I didn't finish potty training until I was 4.5. My parents tried everything- videos, dolls, books, rewards, multiple potties, etc.- but if a kid just doesn't want to, then they won't. Ultimately what pushed me over the edge to truly learn was wanting to go to preschool/kindergarten. "You can't go to any kind of school until you are potty trained" is a phrase that is engrained in my mind from my early childhood lol. The thing is, I wasn't developmentally delayed in basically any way. And I ended up being an extremely successful adult. So I guess what I am saying is, your kid can have trouble with something like potty training for a long time and it has nothing to do with you.

    • @prissy781
      @prissy781 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wow! My daughter will only do number 1 in the toilet but won’t do number 2. She’s almost 4 1/2 and I was worried because my older two were fully potty trained at 16 months and 14 months. I’ve tried everything to get her to do number 2. Thanks for talking about your experience. I was asking myself what am I doing wrong.

    • @journeytogetherwithritz
      @journeytogetherwithritz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is SO encouraging since my almost 3 1/2 year old has no desire! He has tried sporadically when I push him a little but gets mad it doesn’t happen instantly. 🤦🏻‍♀️ so I’ll be more patient. 😩😆🥲🙏🏼

  • @MarcusGrey
    @MarcusGrey ปีที่แล้ว +32

    My son wouldn’t poop in the toilet until we got a book called “everyone poops”. He found it very funny! & almost immediately went to poop in the potty

  • @pancake0117
    @pancake0117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    We are in the finishing stages of potty training our 22m old and these are some great reminders and tips. We have done EC with our daughter since she was 6 months old and only had about 10 poopy diapers since. I feel this really helped her be familiar with the toilet and really the part we’re working on now is the pee which has been so easy, again I credit EC. Andrea’s Go Diaper Free book was so helpful I highly recommend parents try the 4 easy catches as an exposure to the potty early on way before starting potty training because it made it super fast and easy for us. Thanks for all the advise!

  • @tayloehales435
    @tayloehales435 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I like what you said about eating sleeping and toileting is their control. Could you expand more on this?

  • @kimmylawyer4105
    @kimmylawyer4105 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    We started the toilet learning and access for about 6 months and watched our daughter to see what she would do. It took that 6 months for her to finally go on her own and feel comfortable doing ALL her buisness in the toilet. She was 26 months old when she became independant with it. I would advise patience and if it's too stressfull definetly take a step back

  • @panayotadestiny5125
    @panayotadestiny5125 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Amazing video! I always love the way that you model how we can speak to children, full of love, curiosity, and respect!

  • @parvygovil296
    @parvygovil296 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    We are doing toilet learning with our 2 yr old baby girl. What helps her is : Us telling how we do it when we feel the urge (what happens, where do we go etc), sometimes she would follow us in the toilet and thats okay. Lol. Giving polite reminders saying «if you feel like poop is about to come, i will take you to the toilet, giving her a chance after she wakes up in the morning, before bath, before sleeping and that usually works for pee and every single time she does it, we have a mini celebration in the washroom (applause, wow, you did it, how did that feel, you are growing etc etc.. she enjoys that). She hasn’t pooped so far but am quite sure its not that far.

  • @benjaminmiller3075
    @benjaminmiller3075 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    We are a few weeks into potty training our 2y.o. still struggling to get him to initiate going potty but he sits a pees. Seemingly no awareness of bowel movements. A lot of added clean up. Hearing about the body awareness gap is helpful, he's been in synthetic diapers till switching to training underwear. Tha ks for the video. Keep feeling better

  • @marinasanders8299
    @marinasanders8299 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Seeing this I think I am on the right track with my son (24mth). He uses the toilet regularly but still uses washable diapers at home. At the daycare they don't use them anymore unfortunately. It's to much of a hassle for them with all the children. But he asks more often to use the toilet (either potty or the big one) with more and more wins and diapers that stay dry for longer. Sometimes he does not want to go to the toilet, but if he sees dad or mom use the toilet he immediately also wants on it. Today I wanted to try to put him in underwear but he noped out of that after we put it on.. I guess we are not there yet...

  • @samanthac450
    @samanthac450 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    We’ve been slowly easing into potty training with our now 18 mo in (started almost a month ago). How did you know that TODAY we are taking the plunge into diapers only for sleeps?! I really appreciate this video and it’s timing. It really confirmed for me that following my baby and listening to my instinct on this has been correct. Very helpful video - I’ll be sharing it with friends! Your family and videos always inspire me to grow in using Montessori in my home. From one fellow mother and teacher to another - thank you!!! ❤

  • @78000111
    @78000111 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I potty trained my daughter, and it was frustrating. She picked up when to pee and go to toilet. But when she needs to poop, thats was frustrating. After 6 days she refused to sit on her potty neither adult toilet. And she got scared of her poop. Which really frustrating. On 10th day, i bribed her with ipad while she poops. Means, when i know she’s the feeling i bring her to the toilet and let her watch ipad and it was successful. After 3 days when she already hang of it then I didn’t give screen anymore. I know it was not Montessori but sometimes listen to your instincts is best too.

    • @EveaGornall
      @EveaGornall 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I agree, I don’t think anyone should feel guilty or ashamed if they do end up needing to use rewards or bribes, I just think we can all agree it should be the rip cord, not the starting point 👍

  • @e13ktra
    @e13ktra ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I've seen no adults wearing diapers so what's the rush? They all want it at some point, usually when they see kids in their community or at kindergarten or daycare. So no stress. Using the toilet before and after daily routine helped my daughter and even if she still wears diapers i noticed that the only fear she still has and why she won't let go is not to forget she is diaper free and pee herself.

    • @sharc.4959
      @sharc.4959 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Kindergarten 😮?? I would hate to see a child still in diapers at that age

  • @bettyslowwastelife9731
    @bettyslowwastelife9731 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    There are these pants that can hold one wee. When I did my Montessori course that is what they were recommending. X

  • @taniamedina7519
    @taniamedina7519 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Is a long process indeed. My three year old still has some misses from time to time. But we understand and try to help him, for example, taking him to the bathroom before a friend's visit or going to a playground because in that moment he is too excited and tends to forget about it.

  • @adriannavanoyen
    @adriannavanoyen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    We've been working with our 2 year old (3 in January) since June on actively potty training (she's been casually using the potty and routinely using it in the morning and before baths since she was 18 months old). It has been EXHAUSTING and so frustrating, we have moved away from underwear to pull-ups because I just couldn't keep dealing with the frustration of cleaning up accidents 6 times a day during the holiday season. She is more than capable of holding her pee and poo- she can hold it for hours when we're out (we offer her opportunities to try on the toilet, sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't) and can be accident-free, she's had several days that we've had 100% success on going potty, but then there are days that she simply does not care to stop playing and go potty. We've given positive feedback when she does stop playing to go potty, and will try to do pep talks about having another really great day going potty, but nothing seems to stick. I just don't know anymore, we've been trying a potty watch (that she loves) and a magnet chart for tracking the routine of going potty, but again nothing seems to stick. Being in December now though, I just can't deal with the mental load of this on top of everything else for the holidays and we'll just do pull-ups and keep trying to recognize successes until after her third birthday next month. 😑

    • @kathkoko4350
      @kathkoko4350 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I feel you mama, same thing my son turns 3 years old in January, he knows how to do but he doesn't want to... I cried this morning while cleaning pee haha

    • @DianaDesi23
      @DianaDesi23 ปีที่แล้ว

      We are having a similar issue

    • @heleny9365
      @heleny9365 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here ..

    • @kathkoko4350
      @kathkoko4350 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Little update: after have watched this video I started to tell my toddler every 2 hours, OK IT'S POTTY TIME! some times he didn't want to go, others he sat but anything happened, and now he goes when he gets the feeling.
      I know it's not recommended but at the beginning I played the potty training song by cocomelon, now he doesn't need it anymore.
      So patience and love to your kids!

  • @amelidominik9385
    @amelidominik9385 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wow, this was such a clear way of talking about toiket learning, thank you! Close to starting with our little boy :)

  • @Dotfsh
    @Dotfsh หลายเดือนก่อน

    Arleta or anyone struggling with this needs to check out the Tiny Potty Training book from andrea olsen. what she was doing was really close to how she teaches potty training. she has awesome troubleshooting info.

  • @artugert
    @artugert ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Train (v):
    to teach so as to make fit, qualified, or proficient
    to make prepared (as by exercise) for a test of skill
    Toilet learning is what the child is doing; toilet training is what the parent is doing. We are helping them become proficient in the skill of using the toilet.

  • @liamabean3532
    @liamabean3532 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Super relate to this parent, thank you!!!

  • @jes5icaP
    @jes5icaP ปีที่แล้ว

    For us it took a very gradual 8 months for our child to really get the hang of the potty and she still has accidents here and there especially when she’s getting sick or not feeling well (age 3).

  • @birgithilary
    @birgithilary ปีที่แล้ว

    Any recommendations for books to read to your child about the potty? Thank you!

  • @diahwahyufikriarahmawati8070
    @diahwahyufikriarahmawati8070 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Ashley ❤

  • @Dana-mb1hd
    @Dana-mb1hd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Perfect timing thank you I needed this! 💖 happy thanksgiving 🍁

  • @Dotfsh
    @Dotfsh หลายเดือนก่อน

    hahahaha! my last comment was before listening to the video! girl you are teaching Andrea Olsen's philosophy! except for when baby is having a tantrum about going to the potty. she says to put them on the potty and walk out. dont entertain the tantrum.

  • @jolenehostettler1462
    @jolenehostettler1462 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hi there I’ve been watching your videos for a couple of months now. We just started toilet training and it’s only been two days. I’m afraid we started to early at 16.5 months. She had been showing signs of readiness so we jumped in. My daughter cries each time she has an accident. She has had two pees on the toilet and cried then too. I think she’s scared when she feels herself pee. Now she is resisting sitting on the toilet. She also doesn’t seem to be finishing her bowel movements due to fear. I’m not sure if I should stop and try again later on. I don’t want her to become afraid of the toilet or the process. Do you have any advice ?

  • @crystalgale15
    @crystalgale15 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    How do you potty train a toddler if he goes to the daycare 9hrs every day because I go to work? Do I just train him when he's at home? Will that still be considered consistent? Thank you. 😊

    • @iheartmakeup23
      @iheartmakeup23 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I realize your question isn’t directed to me. Just wanted to offer information on my experience. My daughters daycare was very supportive of helping potty train her. In fact, they did most of the training with her since she spends so much time there. Most daycares have a lot of experience toilet training kids. I would start by discussing this with the daycare provider.

    • @bettyslowwastelife9731
      @bettyslowwastelife9731 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Great question I would love to know what people think x

    • @crystalgale15
      @crystalgale15 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@iheartmakeup23 thanks for replying. my baby is only 14 mos old right now but he is at a small home daycare. I just don't want to impose more work to the daycare lady when the time comes for potty training coz she is the only one taking care of 5 or 6 small little kids the whole day. 😊

    • @bri2252
      @bri2252 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Try the 3 day potty training method on a weekend. Fri, Sat & Sun. We potty trained our 23 month old that way. It’s been a month now & it’s going really well! Still working on the poop in the potty, but he’s getting there. Consistency is key.

    • @jes5icaP
      @jes5icaP ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Most daycares will do the toilet learning process with you - it’s easier for them once the child can use the toilet so a lot of daycares are very open to it. Just have to talk with them, make a plan, and send lots of extra clothes and underwear.

  • @bettyslowwastelife9731
    @bettyslowwastelife9731 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for this video!! ❤️

  • @ammakitty8589
    @ammakitty8589 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    There is a way to practice staying dry where you take the diaper off for an hour and add time or practice sessions for longer.

  • @MsKatastrophenBarbie
    @MsKatastrophenBarbie 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Do you have a video to teaching pulling up and down the pants?

  • @cassidyc7119
    @cassidyc7119 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Off topic but do you have a video about how to be gentle with pets? Or gentle in general? I keep trying to model it for my 13 mo old but so far it’s not clicking

  • @alejandraochoa6290
    @alejandraochoa6290 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    ¿what do you thing about Elimination Comunication in order yo avoid diapers use since birth?

    • @NormieNeko
      @NormieNeko ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That sounds extreme, to be honest...

  • @Carla.Mierzejewski
    @Carla.Mierzejewski 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you!! Gives me some relief lol ❤

  • @Parentingwiththefutureinmind
    @Parentingwiththefutureinmind 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am struggling with my 3years old toddler to poop into her potty, she pees into it but she refuses to poo into it. She brings diaper when she wants to poo and I don't know how to make her poo into her potty. My boys were never potty train, they just transition into adult toilet at mid 3. Sometimes they want to use our adult toilet and that's ok too.

  • @gingerygarf
    @gingerygarf ปีที่แล้ว

    What can be done to help my child practice/continue it in daycare? The daycare my child is in isn't Montessori style, hence there's no child size toilets.

  • @mayraswann
    @mayraswann 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    NO WAY MIA IS 3!!!! Where did the time go????? I was watching videos when she was 6 months old!!!

  • @princessaome
    @princessaome ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Any resources for night time toilet learning?

    • @kathkoko4350
      @kathkoko4350 ปีที่แล้ว

      They do it, when they ready... No training.

    • @princessaome
      @princessaome ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kathkoko4350 not if you have a 4 (or older) year old and you have been waiting for them to be ready… since I left this comment I learned about the upside down pyramid from the Oh Crap potty training book. It is something caregivers and parents need to do to help the children be set up for success at night.

    • @kathkoko4350
      @kathkoko4350 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@princessaome my 32 months old did it by himself, and we realized after

  • @margheritap.1187
    @margheritap.1187 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My 3 and 1/2 yo girl still refuses to use the toilet or potty for #2. I tried it all, any advice?

    • @3071-f6i
      @3071-f6i ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes, I know some questionable adults who ended up being parents and their kids some how figured it out. Dont rush it. Eventually they get it and graduate from high school then get married.

  • @lilyslilworld5474
    @lilyslilworld5474 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm running on the train but couldn't resist myself so just missed my train and watch the video 🤣, hope you are good because I hear your voice is bit changed may be like flu. Happy Thanksgiving.

  • @RJHW13
    @RJHW13 ปีที่แล้ว

    My son is 29 months and we havent even started....what I really hate though more then diaper changes is cleaning the potty. I'd much rather have a a toilet for him...but I'm not sure if he's to small for that.

    • @Ineverusemychannel
      @Ineverusemychannel ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Look into smaller toilet seats. You’ll have to help him on and off until he grows but he’ll sit there independently.

    • @RJHW13
      @RJHW13 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Ineverusemychannel we have a smaller seat for the Toilet but he refuses to even sit on it and I dont want to push him and create fear.

  • @arquita
    @arquita 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My toddler would cry horribly with every miss and also if I made her sit in the potty. There was no way to have her not suffer through it. I have to try again this summer and it really stresses me out just thinking about it. She is already 3.

    • @iamtheheiress
      @iamtheheiress 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My son used to cry every time I mentioned the potty. I think it had to do with the stress around it and it wasn’t a comfortable size for him. We were gifted a potty that had a smaller seat, and a flusher with sounds and he loved it, to my surprise he began using it immediately. We also let him come into the bathroom when we go so he knows it’s normal and allow him to flush the toilets etc. When he goes in it we hype it up and jump and dance and when he doesn’t I don’t make it a negative thing. I let him choose his favorite underwear as well.

    • @ekaterinadzyubak197
      @ekaterinadzyubak197 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      We had a ton of resistance crying and constant misses too, pretty much no matter what we tried (except bribery.. we decided that was a black hole that could lead to who knows where). Eventually, only after 4 years old, things finally got better. Main thing is to keep believing that eventually your kid will get there, try your best not to stress and keep offering them opportunities to practice. And celebrate even small accomplishments, at least in your own head. Good luck to you, you'll get there.

    • @viktoryakamaryan556
      @viktoryakamaryan556 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I have the same situation with my 2.4 year old son. He even didn't gave us opportunity to put training pants on him. Hope, next summer he will figure the things out

    • @bri2252
      @bri2252 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I gave my son stickers to decorate his potty. Reading books and watching shows about the potty helped him with not being scared.

  • @kathkoko4350
    @kathkoko4350 ปีที่แล้ว

    My 34 months old son used to go to the potty at 32 months... Now at 34 months old he doesn't want to do it anymore 😞 he was happy of his achievement but now he looks afraid of it... We never do or say anything to making him feel bad . I don't understand what's going on.
    I know he's ready, he doesn't pee during the night but in the morning when we wake up.

  • @jesss7704
    @jesss7704 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Does anybody have good resources/advice for regression? I’m caring for my almost 4 year old niece who has never really had stability and is going through a lot of big scary things right now and she is in pull-ups 100% of the time. She refuses to try anything else even though she previously went through phases of successfully being in underwear full time. She tells me that she is scared of falling in the toilet, but I think it may be much more to do with missing mommy and just generally feeling scared/sad about life. I don’t want to push her too hard because obviously in all that is happening its not the most important thing but pull-ups are EXPENSIVE and its just really tight on money (which I hate to be a main motivation but the whole situation is truly a mess and we’re doing our best with what we have). Besides money, I think she is using avoiding the toilet as a way to get as much one-on-one attention as possible which I try to give her plenty of but she has abandonment issues so it feels like maybe she needs me to know that she needs me? As if she feels like if she uses the toilet then I won’t take care of her? Its hard to even talk to her about it because she gets upset as soon as I even start talking about the toilet. Any advice or resources would be greatly appreciated!

  • @KaayBeeee
    @KaayBeeee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Yeah just wait until they're at least 2yrs and then go straight into undies, after lots of talking about it. I prefer to skip the potty and go right to the toilet. It's a parent thing 100% you need to get them on the loo like every 10min, it's exhausting I agree! There will be lots of accidents, lots of wet clothing, and it could take a couple of months. Those 3 day training things are bollox, just go at your kids pace. Consistency is KEY don't stop and start just wait until babe (and you!) are ready, only you know when this could potentially be and lets be honest they might be 3yrs +

  • @TheNerdyPengwin
    @TheNerdyPengwin 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think I need some neurodivergent resources. my kiddo has been at the same spot in toilet learning since 10 months old. he poops and pees after waking up, as part of his routine, but otherwise he's too busy to want to toilet or diaper change. at home, he'd rather sit in an overflowing diaper.
    we used to have successes on outings when toileting was still new. he'd get up to pee every fifteen minutes and successfully go! I can't believe that was all for naught 🙈
    at daycare they don't believe in him.... he's also soft spoken and isn't heard (we're getting him an AAC to help). but, he will sit and get his diaper changed without protest, but they only take him every 2 hours. he's 30 months old now. so I think he has officially learned that he can go in his diaper if he doesn't want to be interrupted to go use the bathroom.
    we're just letting it go now, gently encouraging and reminding every hour... what else can we do.

  • @kristina282k
    @kristina282k ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Every hour?! Every 45min?! This is insane! Imagine that suddenly you had to interrupt your activities every hour or less cause someone wants take you and do something you don’t feel like doing and this all day long every day. Of course the child is unhappy and has tantrums and meltdowns! The mother of the child was recently pregnant, did she forget how uncomfortable that was at the end of pregnancy when you had to go so often to the bathroom that it felt almost like you were living on the toilet?

  • @braria9855
    @braria9855 ปีที่แล้ว

    Me literally searching for "potty learning" specifically to skip the "training" crap and get the advice of more gentle approaches xD

  • @saratrolliet-gonzalez1065
    @saratrolliet-gonzalez1065 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Poor girl I thing nowadays people want their children to toilet learning so early they put so much pressure onto them and so much thinking for this. Maybe if you just breathe and wait let them be child and the time will come.

    • @cloudscarves
      @cloudscarves 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Agree with you! I was hesitant to dive into potty training and my just over 3 year old TOLD me one day that she didn’t want diapers, but big girl underwear and to sit on the toilet. We obliged and she pretty much potty trained herself, with no issues, in less than a week! Give your child grace and time and don’t push them!

    • @SenrisPlace
      @SenrisPlace 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I have been feeling so disappointed with myself that I haven't been on top of it. Our life is extremely hectic right now and I've been very depressed and stressed, but trying to do toilet learning with one of my daughters that is ready is still too much of a jump for us all. I feel horrible. 😪

    • @silkestadler2647
      @silkestadler2647 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I also believe 19 months is veeeeery young for potty learning. Why are parents so absorbed with starting the process so early? In Germany, where I live, it’s totally normal that children learn to use the toilet (just in the daytime) between 2,5 and 3,5 years old.

    • @SenrisPlace
      @SenrisPlace ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@silkestadler2647 I know this is unrelated BUT I'm moving my family to germany in two days!!! So excited to give them a better life

    • @silkestadler2647
      @silkestadler2647 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SenrisPlace Cool! To which part of Germany do you move?

  • @shawnk7863
    @shawnk7863 ปีที่แล้ว

    Helpful video. You really need 'Promo SM'!!