I started this Salsa Dancing journey almost three years ago. The more I went out and danced, the more I developed the courage to ask ladies for a dance- especially the more advanced dancers. I was on a roll and I was no longer intimidated to ask or get rejected. I eventually started getting more smiles and compliments from the ladies I would take out. A huge confidence booster. But about a month ago I went out for a night of dancing and I approached a click of advanced dancers hanging out at the bar and I cordially asked one of the ladies to dance, and we had a fun dance. Later I went back to that same group and asked another one of the girls, and she explained that she was watching her friends drink while she dances. It struck me weird but I though okay cool no worries. Then a few songs later I approached her again. As I was approaching her, I see her grooving to the song that came on while she was talking to her friends - i politely interjected and asked her again - she said no thank you i don’t like this song (i clearly saw her ‘into’ the song doing some shines to it) I felt insulted by her and I reacted and called her out on it in front of her friends . They stood there kind of shocked. I laughed it off and walked away. The next day I felt stupid for reacting that way. I should have handled that with far more grace. Instead my latin blood simmered close to a boil immediately turned me into a indignant sarcastic dick. I felt like it was personal. I’m an older guy so I’m not sure if the young lady thought I’m not cool enough to dance with? Not good looking enough so I cram her style? Not as advanced as her? I Don’t know really. It was a mental and spiritual check though for sure. I needed to return to my humble beginnings and just accept that some girls will not dance with you and that is okay. Now I cringe at thinking that I might come across those girls again 🥴 - lesson learned for sure.
First of all, thanks for sharing such a personal story. And though I'm sure the feeling you experienced when she said no again wasn't pleasant, I'm glad you learned from that moment. You never know what other people are thinking, how they see the world around them, how they feel they fit in, what biases and prejudices they carry, etc. So, the best thing to do is to take your answer and move on. Don't let your ego manipulate you into a defensive outburst because though that feeling of being rejected sucks, it's still better than regretting saying/doing something that lacked tact and class. Remember, there's always a yes waiting for you. Don't waste time on the rest. 😊 And thank you again for sharing. 🙏
Thanks Timos! Please share and tag me. I would love if more people could understand this and not take things so personally. It would make for a happier community. 😊
Tu punto de vista es excelente, el que te rechacen, no significa que uno lo haga mal, busca a otra pareja y diviértete con esa y otras, ya veras que la que te rechazo, buscara la manera de bailar contigo, tu actitud hará la magia.
Thanks for that advice! I’m glad I came across this video. It has been plenty of times where I had gotten rejected from asking a lady out or for a dance just to enjoy the moment or event. I had to learn rejection is a part of life, and you just have to keep on at it, on to the next. I would love to learn Salsa dancing.
I've been dancing 9 years (6 yrs of hiphop and 2.5 yrs of bachata sensual -fusion). First of all, i have some tips for every local socialer, especially for men. 1. Don't ask to ladies who are talking to someone or ladies with drink on their hand. The probability to get "no" is higher then asking to other ladies on floor. 2. If you dance in new social club and you are dancing with new people, I'll say the chance to get "yes" is lower. (Sometimes up to 4-5 rejections of 10 dancings, it also depends on people and level of follwers.) 3. If you get more rejections then yes, where you dance usually, it means you have some problems. Go get advices from your instructor or your friends who used to dance with you.
Agreed! Juan Calderon sparked a conversation about this on fb - I definitely used to take it personally, but used the no as motivation to improve. The only no that really sticks out for me is one where the lady laughed and ridiculed me- in spanish no less...fast forward a few years later, I'm out dancing and she asks me.
Did that lady laugh because you were doing Morse code on her head with your hand? 😂 I understand that feeling of people going to unnecessary lengths to be mean when a simple "no" would suffice. In those situations, I give them an extra big smile and say "no problem and thank you for being so nice" Makes them reflect. Keeps you in a good place. And hopefully makes them think twice about how they say no in the future. Also, funny how it comes full circle with her asking you. I hope you were kinder. 😊
5:10 “If you think that asking means you should automatically get that yes, then you’re not really asking. You are disguising your command in a form of a question.” 🎯
I don't even realize these poignant takeaways bc I deliver the speech, publish it and rarely look back. Thank you for this highlight! It's an important message!!
On the dancing scene rejection is always a possibility. Could be timing, person isn't interested, or many other factors but the important thing is to have fun without fear of it. Better to try and get rejected than to have not tried at all. If you can build the courage to ask knowing you might get turned down, that same courage can be applied to alot of life's decisions. Risk takers I call it :)
Hola!!, te he seguido por muchos años, y te afmiri la persona que eres. Veo muchos videos de salsa social en europa. Y la verdad puedo decir, que en europa han avandado muchisimo!!, en su baile, y muy buena musica. Que opinas al respecto. Gracias y mucha suerte en tus viajes
Hello... como estas..espero que estes bien...a mi me a tocado rechazar, por la música, si no me gusta la musica, le digo que no, que la siguiente música la bailare....porque si no siento la música es como bailar frío....no rechazo si no sabe bailar, solo si no me gusta la musica.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFULL IF I SEE YOU IN THE DANCE FLOOR I SEE YOU FIRST , I ASK YOU LETS DANCE AND HAVE FUN .aMOR MIO VAMOS A BAILAR.. i BEEN DANCING FROM 1978 sALSERO 2019 YOU LOOK GOOD, GOOD MESSAGE.AND HAVE FUN,
I started this Salsa Dancing journey almost three years ago. The more I went out and danced, the more I developed the courage to ask ladies for a dance- especially the more advanced dancers. I was on a roll and I was no longer intimidated to ask or get rejected. I eventually started getting more smiles
and compliments from the ladies I would take out. A huge confidence booster.
But about a month ago I went out for a night of dancing and I approached a click of advanced dancers hanging out
at the bar and I cordially asked one of the ladies to dance, and we had a fun dance. Later I went back to that same group and asked another one of the girls, and she explained that she was watching her friends drink while she dances. It struck me weird but I though okay cool no worries. Then a few songs later I approached her again. As I was approaching her, I see her grooving to the song that came on while she was talking to her friends - i politely interjected and asked her again - she said no thank you i don’t like this song (i clearly saw her ‘into’ the song doing some shines to it) I felt insulted by her and I reacted and called her out on it in front of her friends . They stood there kind of shocked. I laughed it off and walked away. The next day I felt stupid for reacting that way. I should have handled that with far more grace. Instead my latin blood simmered close to a boil immediately turned me into a indignant sarcastic dick. I felt like it was personal. I’m an older guy so I’m not sure if the young lady thought I’m not cool enough to dance with? Not good looking enough so I cram her style? Not as advanced as her? I Don’t know really. It was a mental and spiritual check though for sure. I needed to return to my humble beginnings and just accept that some girls will not dance with you and that is okay. Now I cringe at thinking that I might come across those girls again 🥴 - lesson learned for sure.
First of all, thanks for sharing such a personal story. And though I'm sure the feeling you experienced when she said no again wasn't pleasant, I'm glad you learned from that moment. You never know what other people are thinking, how they see the world around them, how they feel they fit in, what biases and prejudices they carry, etc. So, the best thing to do is to take your answer and move on. Don't let your ego manipulate you into a defensive outburst because though that feeling of being rejected sucks, it's still better than regretting saying/doing something that lacked tact and class. Remember, there's always a yes waiting for you. Don't waste time on the rest. 😊 And thank you again for sharing. 🙏
Magna Gopal - thanks for the feedback! Your insight on this topic is appreciated Magna! 🙂🙌🏽🙏🏼
this is a video that every social dancer must watch... beautiful mindset
Thanks Timos! Please share and tag me. I would love if more people could understand this and not take things so personally. It would make for a happier community. 😊
Tu punto de vista es excelente, el que te rechacen, no significa que uno lo haga mal, busca a otra pareja y diviértete con esa y otras, ya veras que la que te rechazo, buscara la manera de bailar contigo, tu actitud hará la magia.
Gracias! 🙏 La actitud es casi todo...en lo que hacemos y en como recibimos. 😊
Thanks for that advice! I’m glad I came across this video. It has been plenty of times where I had gotten rejected from asking a lady out or for a dance just to enjoy the moment or event. I had to learn rejection is a part of life, and you just have to keep on at it, on to the next. I would love to learn Salsa dancing.
Glad to be of assistance! :)
I've been dancing 9 years (6 yrs of hiphop and 2.5 yrs of bachata sensual -fusion).
First of all, i have some tips for every local socialer, especially for men.
1. Don't ask to ladies who are talking to someone or ladies with drink on their hand. The probability to get "no" is higher then asking to other ladies on floor.
2. If you dance in new social club and you are dancing with new people, I'll say the chance to get "yes" is lower. (Sometimes up to 4-5 rejections of 10 dancings, it also depends on people and level of follwers.)
3. If you get more rejections then yes, where you dance usually, it means you have some problems. Go get advices from your instructor or your friends who used to dance with you.
Agreed! Juan Calderon sparked a conversation about this on fb - I definitely used to take it personally, but used the no as motivation to improve. The only no that really sticks out for me is one where the lady laughed and ridiculed me- in spanish no less...fast forward a few years later, I'm out dancing and she asks me.
Did that lady laugh because you were doing Morse code on her head with your hand? 😂 I understand that feeling of people going to unnecessary lengths to be mean when a simple "no" would suffice. In those situations, I give them an extra big smile and say "no problem and thank you for being so nice" Makes them reflect. Keeps you in a good place. And hopefully makes them think twice about how they say no in the future. Also, funny how it comes full circle with her asking you. I hope you were kinder. 😊
5:10 “If you think that asking means you should automatically get that yes, then you’re not really asking. You are disguising your command in a form of a question.” 🎯
I don't even realize these poignant takeaways bc I deliver the speech, publish it and rarely look back. Thank you for this highlight! It's an important message!!
@@magnagopal My late Mom once said, "If you can't take 'no', you shouldn't be asking questions." (God I miss that woman.)
Sorry to hear of her passing. Fortunately, she'll always be immortal while carried in your thought and actions. ❤️
@@magnagopal ❤️
Wonderful thoughts. Thank you for sharing. It can be tough out there in the salsa social scene.
Thank you for watching. It can be tough in life. Building this resilience benefits our dancing and our lives in general!😊
Great job sis. So nice of you to help others with ur wisdom!
Thank you, Wim! I do my best! 😊🙏
@@magnagopal keep me posted on more... ;-)
On the dancing scene rejection is always a possibility. Could be timing, person isn't interested, or many other factors but the important thing is to have fun without fear of it. Better to try and get rejected than to have not tried at all. If you can build the courage to ask knowing you might get turned down, that same courage can be applied to alot of life's decisions. Risk takers I call it :)
@jean p - Exactly! It's a resilience and courage that we can work on in dance and benefit from in all aspects of life!
this applies to life overall 👍
I try to make all of my messages universally applicable 😊
Hola!!, te he seguido por muchos años, y te afmiri la persona que eres. Veo muchos videos de salsa social en europa. Y la verdad puedo decir, que en europa han avandado muchisimo!!, en su baile, y muy buena musica. Que opinas al respecto. Gracias y mucha suerte en tus viajes
Thank You!!
With pleasure!😊
Hello... como estas..espero que estes bien...a mi me a tocado rechazar, por la música, si no me gusta la musica, le digo que no, que la siguiente música la bailare....porque si no siento la música es como bailar frío....no rechazo si no sabe bailar, solo si no me gusta la musica.
A veces no me gusta la música tampoco. Si tengo energía, todavía bailaré. Pero si estoy cansada, no puedo.
@@magnagopal jeje...tu cansada?, tu tienes energía de sobra......y si la música gusta, bueno que te puedo decir..
Love it,by the way the cushion on the couch is it Buddha?love it too🙄
Thank you and yes,that cushion is a Buddha cushion. 😊
YOU ARE BEAUTIFULL IF I SEE YOU IN THE DANCE FLOOR I SEE YOU FIRST , I ASK YOU LETS DANCE AND HAVE FUN .aMOR MIO VAMOS A BAILAR.. i BEEN DANCING FROM 1978 sALSERO 2019 YOU LOOK GOOD, GOOD MESSAGE.AND HAVE FUN,