Bud and Barbara Cowsill
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ส.ค. 2024
- Just who exactly were Bud and Barbara Cowsill? The answer depends on who you ask.
Watch the documentary, Family Band: The Cowsills Story here:
www.amazon.com...
Billy Cowsill interview by Joe "Guido" Welsh.
The one brother who went to Nam has the true feelings. He didn’t sugar coat. He wasn’t on Dean Martin. When one sibling is left out, it is devastating.
They did, however, make mention of him in the shows....etc. Brother Richard in the service....blah blah blah. He may have not been in the band, but it 'seems' that he helped roadie somewhat, and Paul mentioned he did some of that as well....and watched the younger 3...prior to and possibly throughout....his entrance into the band. Richard was still featured in the teen magazines, along with the 'band' sometimes.....from what I can recall.
They all have true feelings.
Richard, deserves so much more respect and sympathy than he gets from some of his family members.
He clearly got the short end of the stick. He went through hel and then he was sent to another hell. 🙏
I agree, the sister totally dismissed his experience with his family, her way or walk away. She was more than likely the one treated the best.
His sister is totally obnoxious and I hated the way she dismissed him! We all owe a debt of gratitude to Richard for his service to our country. May he rest in peace!
Of all of them, Richard needed to talk about it the most. He clearly was hurt the most.
@Annie497 Women were not allowed to have credit cards, property in their name so how was that going to work?
@@sunshinedewes4277 Don't worry. They will learn. We are headed back in that direction for women in this country.
This is heartbreaking. I hope they have found some peace and healing and love in their adult life.
The worst thing a parent can do a child is to break their spirit. That is not parenting, that is abuse.
Agreed.
I agree, you only get one chance to raise your kids with love and devotion. If you blow that, nothing else matters in their lives.
Tell me about it. But Jesus can heal your spirit.
@@MORE1500 That is so true! My father broke my spirit. He was mean and controlling and used to beat me with the belt. My self esteem was soooo very low as a teen. Jesus showed me who I really am.
@@born4thstime My dad was the same. My mother never protected me.
Much respect for Paul and Richard, they’re not willing to look the other way and say that “Mom did her best” like the others do
"They were selfish, and when you have kids, you need to be selfless" Well said Paul Cowsill!!! Wish I had known that before I had mine.
These guys are still hurting as adults. That's some pain that just does not go away.
So true.
Explorer Mike I'm 64 and still dealing with the trauma. "The past is never the past. It is always there" - William Faulkner
@@@motorcityquig Ditto..even after YEARS of therapy..
Because they DIDN'T COMMUNICATE.
Very true. My parents have been dead over 11 years and I still experience trauma because of their evil ways.
What a wonderful film this was! I have zero respect for their mother, who didn’t protect them from their abusive dad. As one of them said, they all raised each other. Love to them!
Yes, thank you so much.
You don’t think he had control over her as well….she was probably just as much a victim of her husband.
She was mind controlled. They never got any money
@@snikkerr1949 listen carefully to what Paul said about both of the parents...he stated both of them never instilled any positivity or happiness into them. The mother was probably just as cold and controlling, I mean, the very fact she was in the group seemed a bit weird to me, she looked ridiculous.
That Cowsill Mom had a great transitional musical talent but like many battered women [eg.. my own] she was powerless when big Daddy came home after work and pulled out the dukes.
Only abused children can understand this pain and fear. It's a resentment that never goes away completely. I went through the same, but it was both of my parents...
Oh, I am so sorry.
Me too !!!
It’s true, even many decades later the resentment remains, even though you may find yourself being carer to that person that caused you so much distress as a kid. You just learn to put that resentment in a special place slightly out of reach of your daily life.
@Debbie James Same here, but it was my brother that later turned to the bottle and has killed more brain cells than he can spare.
Me too Claudia....there were 9 of us.8 girls, 1 boy. My mother was abusive as hell. Very hard life...Addiction took over many of our lives. 3 of my sisters are gone. Alcoholic liver disease. 😪
Bukowski once said that when a kid gets the crap kicked out of them by their parent, they lose the filter you get.... brutal honesty. This story is so human so American. In the 60s I was just a wee lad but I had a crush on Susan then. I am 60 now, I still have a huge crush on her. Bless you guys and thank you for making such good music for us.
Bless you!
Richard said it best at the end, "We all have our stories." In any family, each person stories are a little different, similar, but different. Some of the greatest peace happens when we finally share our stories with others. Bless them all for surviving the best they could.
So true, Roger.
Pain only makes us stronger and helps us to persevere...
@@theirishgirl6809 not always, it leaves some of us without confidence, wondering why we are unlovable ...
@@theirishgirl6809 I agree! I grew up in a similar situation, the oldest of 6 kids and I really identify with the Cowsill family's story. Each has a different story, the same as we in my family do....Family dysfunction such as this can either make you stronger or bring you to your knees...In my case it made me stronger & I can go through hell and never smell like smoke....I'm sure the surviving Cowsills can say the same thing.
@@theirishgirl6809 unfortunately, three siblings dead in their fifties. That tells me how bad it was.
Paul is awesome and spot on.
When in these situations it breaks your heart to see your siblings abused, but there’s also self preservation that takes place, so you keep to yourself to stay safe and to maintain a semblance of self sanity, and you tend to say nothing. You also lack the adult life skills to deal with the craziness because you’re not an adult, you’re a child.
Well said.
Most adukts dont even have skills to deal with situations like this
There are 7 independent stories, as Bob Cowsill rightly stated. You can see how each was affected differently, and although I am fascinated seeing the various feelings about Bud and Barbara, there is a sadness. Yet, I feel optimism that some seem to have survived the sexual, emotional and physical abuse and lived successful lives. Thank you, Cowsills, for sharing your life experiences, and hopefully helping others survive a severely traumatic childhood.
I've learned this is typical in dysfunctional families. The abusers have to divide everyone and conquer them individually (triangulation) in order to maintain power and control.
I can relate to their situation. I grew up with an emotionally and physically abusive father and a mother who didn’t protect us from him. Both of my parents have passed on and I still struggle with unresolved issues with them.
I understand and I'm so sorry. Our childhood stays with us for life.
Same here. Something about that era.
holly, i too was born in 1958. like you, i had a very abusive father...physically, mentally, emotionally, my mother didnt protect us either and i too have deep deep scares and i struggle with issues to this day. my dad has since passed but the pain never went away
The damage is with us for our entire lives. It’s a rough ride, for sure.
I'm so sorry. The same here. If it hadn't been for my wonderful grandparents I don't know how I would have turned out or my siblings either. I jumped ship when I got out of high school and never went back...once I was married I stayed away from my parents for over 30 years. My kids never knew them, it was better that way & I've never regretted that.
After all that they went through they all ended up for the most part knowing love..for each other. A miracle in itself. God bless them all. ❤️
I feel the most sorry about Richard’s experience. The stories indicate for some reason he had a target on his back from Bud from the time he was born (twin of Bob). Think of what they all might have been if they had grown up in a decent situation.
In one of the interviews with Paul , he says Richard always harassed Susan and that he " clocked that guy " and then he was afraid of him ....
Paul was 5'11" at 16 ! and has 'anger issues'.
He "hugged " his mom and broke 3 of her ribs !!
Richard and Paul were 'outsiders' at first - they weren't in the band started by the oldest brother Bill....they were the 'roadies' ...the oldest brother Bill 'started' the band ... lots of details to the story get left behind
A karmic residue of something from past life perhaps.
I’m just learning about The Cowsills, and it seems like the father knew he couldn’t control Dick with violence anymore, that Dick would interfere with his control over the family. So he shipped him out to the military-just got rid of any threat to his dominance.
I love you guys. God bless you all
In a lot of the videos, Richard comes off like a jerk but a part of me feels very sorry for him. Can you imagine how it would make you feel to be outcast from a family for no other reason than your father didn't want you there? You can see in this video how profoundly affected he was by it. Physical beatings are bad enough but the emotional abuse is what causes the deepest scars.
That's exactly right, Dana.
Dana James I don’t think he came off as a jerk. He was being honest. His perspective was different. I give all the credit in the world to Louise Palanker for providing the therapy they so badly needed.
IF ANYONE WAS THE JERK IT WAS SUSAN TRYING TO JUSTIFY AND SUGAR COAT THE WHOLE MESS. RICHARD WAS JUST BEING BRUTALLY HONEST AND TELLING IT LIKE IT WAS. PAUL IS ALSO THE PATRON SAINT OF THIS MESS ALSO. HE IS ANOTHER TRUE SPOKESMAN FOR ABUSE WHEN HE SAID FUCK EM BOTH. EVEN BARBARA'S SISTERS TRIED TO SUGAR COAT THE FUCKHEAD WHEN THEY SAID HE TRIED TO PORK EM BUT HE WAS ALWAYS A GENTLEMAN AND NEVER TRIED TO FORCE HIMSELF ON THEM.
Richard was drafted into the army and spent a year in Viet Nam, while returning home with a serious drug problem.
@@motorcityquig the army was probably nothing compared to living with Daddy and Mommy
I could listen to them talk forever about their problems. I love how they are all so honest about their feelings about their parents. The Cowsill family are my hero’s because they were able sit down and settle arguments and hurt. Most families can’t do that and so families grew apart but the Cowsills stayed a family no matter what. I love Bill Bob Barry Richard Paul Susan and John .
Absolutely.
@@louisepalankerHi Louise just found out there was a 7 part documentary series in Canada by Joel Stewart, where one episode had Billy on it! I loved your documentary so much … hoping I can find more Cowsill gold. Any ideas?
@@lyndy2026 Aside from my playlist here, The Cowsills have their own podcast. I am not familiar with Joel Stewart but it sounds great.
100%
These kids were not only talented musicians and singers, they were Academy award-winning actors. How else could they possibly have endured all this pain and disfunction while hiding it from the public so well that their fans never had a clue? God bless them all.
As a 10-year-old girl in Rhode Island in 1968, The Cowsills were EVERYTHING. Thank you to all the family members for their brutal honesty. I watched the entire film today and had goosebumps for their a cappella version of "The Star-Spangled Banner" at Fenway in 2004. What harmonies. Such talent. 💙🎶💚
This family needs a movie made about them.
Cowsill's you have a lot to be proud of ! Thank you for sharing your talent and great music.
Absolutely!
As I learn more of the Cowsills' story, I realize that there are indeed seven different stories, all with a common thread of physical and emotional violence and fear. For instance, I am not at all surprised that Richard and Paul were not willing to sugar coat their parents at all. Richard was shut out of the family by his parents and shipped off to the hellhole that was Vietnam, and Paul essentially raised Susan through her teenage years after her mom bailed on her when she needed her most.
I see a common thread with family groups from that era. Same with Jackson 5. Same with Carpenters and we all know what happened to Karen. Not an easy life at such a young age.
R.I.P Billy, Barry, and Richard
Indeed. : (
Wait hol up when did Richard pass?
@@lefthandedbaker Richard passed away in 2014 of lung cancer. :-( :-(
All three gone? So sad.
And Barbara...
Louise, thank you for letting me rediscover the Cowsills after so many years. They have brought so much beauty and music to so many. As well as being tremendously talented, they are truly wonderful people. One of my biggest fears is that life's trials will make me a bitter person, the Cowsills give me hope.
They will make you a Better person.
I truly had no idea what was happening "behind the scene" with these folks way back then. I envied them to no end (I was 12 in 1968) and always kept my eyes on Susan.........In my opinion, she's a gorgeous woman today. I'm happy for this family, because they DO talk with each other. They're still here and that speaks to both their talent and their character today. And, it's beyond obvious that they love each other very much.
timothy kearns Yes!
Susan!!!!!
It breaks my heart that they had to go through this bad stuff. If you have a chance to see them you will not be diappointed. I have come to love this family. They are so nice and kind. I have come to adore Susan because of her enormous heart, passion for singing, her compassion and the first time I heard them speak of the terrible stuff it hit me something terribly.
Some people emphasize the horrible things and do not speak of the good things that make them special. They will always have a special place in my heart. Mrs. Louise Palanker knew there was a story that needed to be told and she did an excellent job making this documentary. They are truly a great family and you know they love each other very much!!! Thanks Louise for making this!😊
Incredible editing on this clip. I love the honesty. Honesty is in short supply most days but wow, how it comes through!
Thank you. It was a rough, early edit that we did while documenting The Cowsills. Their story is compelling for sure.
@@louisepalanker, I just watched your documentary a few days ago, and it was both fascinating and heartbreaking. It led me to research more on the Internet, so I appreciate this clip that has more details that didn't make the final film. It's a wonderful those folks have any self-esteem and sense of normalcy. I hope they are in a much healthier, happier place in their lives. Thank you for telling their story.
@@stanlivengood9500 Thank you so much for watching, Stan. I've got a bunch of special features up here in a playlist called Documenting The Cowsills.
The only thing about this is the Sound Quality....goes from volume 1 with one person to volume 10 with the next. Had to keep going up and down with my control.
@@louisepalankerthank you for letting us see “Documenting the Cowsills”. Did you get to meet Bill? I’ve become such a fan of his since “Family Band” ❤❤❤
This account just makes me appreciate the accomplishments of these young artists even more than I did in those days.My love and regards to all of them here and gone.
An incredible story. Each of them from their own perspective. I can relate to their dysfunction. The hurt doesn't go away.
John Coleman So true.
Makes me cry listening to this beautiful family that could sing w/angelic voices & turn around to only be treated by a jerk that says he's their dad. HE WAS NOT a dad. Those kids & mom could have gone so far in their lives with a great amount of money & a successful future. To come home to all their money being gone is the worst part of all this.
💛
Michael Jackson's father, Donny and Marie Osmond's father and Bud Cowsill were very hard on their children to the point of child abuse.
I love the Cowsills.
As I'm sure others on this board would agree, they were an integral part of my childhood!
I can relate to their story as when shit was going down in our house I'd go to the basement, put the headphones on and play my drums for hours. It was a great release when things got rough and has served me well throughout my life.
Same on the drum front.
My, my ... the dynamics in every family ... this is incredibly telling .. thank you for sharing.
You're very welcome
“I love you too baby. We’ve all got our stories.”
RIP Rich
This proves that people are not who you want them to be - related or not. And being related doesn't necessarily mean you're family either..
So true.
I enjoy and respect the Cowsills so much!!! it saddens me that any child be abused physically or mentally and emotionally!!! I am so glad the kids have continued to share their God given talents with us! I am sad I never saw Bill or Barry!! as for Richard, I will NEVER understand why he was left out!!! My kids and grandkids KNOW how much I love them!!! I look forward to seeing the Cowsills at Indiana State Fair in August!!! and hope I get the chance to talk and have pictures taken with them again!!! They are so friendly and I Love them!!! And I am so proud they show love for each other!!! see you guys in August!!!!
These are deeply damaged kids. I say "kids", because they are still in the darkness of their childhoods. Who suffered the most is a point of competition for some of them. That show me there is a lot more healing to be done still. My kids were raised in an abusive home. My deepest regret in life is the father I chose for them, and my inability to escape with them from his rage.
But you recognize it and that is healing.
These are not children at all. These are adults, with adult thoughts, adult perspectives, and adult lives. They have crafted a life beyond their childhood and that is something they can be proud of. Your kids will have to craft adult lives too.
I never knew anything about the Cowsills other than loving their songs. Now that I'm retired, I'm learning about all my favorite singers and groups and reliving the music on TH-cam. It's been quite a revelation.
What an excellent journey to take!
Michele, I still work but I love to learn about the dynamics in large families, like the Cowsills(that I NEVER heard of until a few years ago!) And the Osmonds, De Francos..
Awww, I feel so sorry for all of them: sad !!!! we never truly know how things are!!!! I hope the remaining Cowsills are living peaceful lives !!!
This little documentary video has prepared me to be a good dad to my future wife and kids. I know sometimes kids need discipline I know because I was a kid once. But they need it to certain extent. Most of it is love and attention. I will give it to them all. The Cowsills I will always love them and cherish their music..
Wow. What a powerful comment. Thank you!
Sorry, sweet girl, love doesn't abuse. Alcoholics and druggies can't love, usually in too much pain themselves, So sorry your family went through that and look at the beauty you all created for the world to enjoy, God bless you all.
Beautiful.
I saw the Cowsills at the 1970 York, PA fair. They were exceptional. Would have never know of the abusive family environment they survived....Bob, Paul, John & Susan still survive. I really wish that Susan did not have to endure what her father did to her. Thank you Paul for resecuring her.
she is amazing to have turn out the way she did with all what she endured.
Tony Robbins was quoted one time, in response to someone’s telling him that he grew up in a dysfunctional family, as saying, “Show me a _functional_ family.” I think that’s true, as we all bear scars from our formative years, but the Cowsills were obviously several steps beyond what most people would call “dysfunctional.” Still, I wonder how much the Cowsill kids would have sought refuge in music if they hadn’t _needed_ it to cope with the horrors they faced otherwise. We all wish they’d had more hits and become rich from them, but the saddest part is the bitter memories they all had from what _should_ have been the greatest time of their lives.
Heartbreaking. I had no idea. Those poor kids.
Sad story😥😥😥😥 but you we're and still are American's sweethearts. ❤❤❤❤ still love your music today. Brings back great memories. Thank you
My family knew the Cowsill family when they lived in Canton, Ohio in the 1950s and early 60s. We all attended the same church, St. Joseph Catholic Church. Paul was in my third grade class at St. Joseph parochial school. Bill, Bob, and Richard were in the upper grades. Barbara volunteered in the school cafeteria. When I met her again in 1970 when The Cowsills played a concert in Canton, kind of a "homecoming" concert, she immediately recognized me before I had a chance to introduce myself: "My God! You're Bernie Toohey's boy!" My jaw dropped! St. Joseph's had a talent contest at one time; my dad, being a musician, and a few of his buddies got together to practice up and entered the contest. The contest was won with a performance of "Are You Lonesome Tonight" by Barbara, Bill, and Bob. I also saw them in concert in Akron, Ohio in 1969, and my singular takeaway was that they were the best live band I had ever heard. I recently acquired a collector edition vinyl recording of "The Cowsills in Concert Live," (I bought the album when it came out in 1969, but over the years it somehow got away from me); and yep, that's exactly the way they sounded on stage! Fortunately, I still have the original "The Cowsills" album, as well as "We Can Fly," and "Captain Sad and His Ship of Fools" from the 60s. You could never know from seeing those broad smiles and listening to their "happy, happy, HAPPY!" music that such dysfunction and abuse was happening in their private lives. I am sure it was the music and their sheer raw talent that kept the kids sane. It's so great that they are still performing. albeit without Bill and Barry. And Paul looks just about my age!
Oh wow, Mark. Such an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing it!
@@louisepalanker Thank you so much for acknowledging my story! It appears you are the "go to" authority on all things Cowsill, so it is gratifying that I have connected with a fan of my peers! There are several details I omitted in my comment for the sake of brevity, but I would be happy to share them with you. I have one outstanding memory of Paul in my third grade class; our teacher was Mrs. Carfanga (I have the school class picture); she asked the class if anyone knew what a "tail wind" was. Paul's hand went up, and he explained to the class what a tail wind was. Mrs. Carfagna asked how he knew this; he responded that his dad was in the Navy and knew something about airplanes! It's funny how one singular event sticks with you all your life. That 1970 concert in Canton, Ohio was a rather informal affair. It was held at the Moonlight Ballroom, the premier circuit venue in Canton back in the day for the 1940s big bands like Tommy Dorsey, Duke Ellington, and Glen Miller.The roof would retract so you could dance under the stars. It was not designed as a concert venue; it was purely a dance hall with rows of folding chairs set up in front of the stage. Talk about a front row seat! Attendance for the concert was disappointingly low; perhaps a hundred or so fans; lots of empty chairs. But The Cowsills delivered their best. As you know, they were tremendous fans of The Beatles, as also am I, and their Beatles cover songs were impeccable. I will never forget Bill performing "Michelle" solo on his Gretsch Country Gentleman. I could only drool at the mouth! (Allow me to digress for a moment: I also played guitar in a dance band in Canton in the 60s and 70s, and in 1971 our band was booked for the "Queen of Hearts Ball' at the Moonlight Ballroom. Our parents were gloating with pride that their kids were performing on the very stage that Glen Miller and Tommy Dorsey's bands had once played. I could only think, DAMN! I'm standing on the very stage where The Cowsills performed!) After the Cowsills concert I approached Paul on the stage, introduced myself, and reminded him of our mutual childhood acquaintance. Unfortunately, he was too involved in breaking down the equipment to take much notice. Christ! They didn't even have roadies! I then got in the queue with fans looking to get an autograph from Barbara. "Hi Mrs. Cowsill, my name is"...that was all I got out of my mouth before she blurted out. "My God! You're Bernie Toohey's boy!" We reminisced about serving donuts and chocolate milk in the cafeteria at St. Joseph's. I didn't think to get the autograph. Our band's drummer, who accompanied me to the concert was like, "FUCK! She knows who you are?" Yes, I imagine that she and Bud had attended one of my parent's bridge parties in the family living room back in the day. Highballs all around. The Moonlight Ballroom, an all wooden structure long past its heyday, burned to the ground many years ago, as did Bud and Barbara, Billy, Richard and Barry; but the memories remain. As a child of the 60s I will always love The Cowsills!
Wow. You have an excellent memory,@@marktoohey7046. I am not a "go to" authority on The Cowsills but I did make a documentary about them and I was a big fan as kid. I will share your memories with Paul!
@@louisepalanker You will? REALLY? That would be awesome! Not that his memory is likely to be any better than in 1970. And I have had a memory check as well. After reviewing my grade school photos, I realized that Mrs. Carfangna was actually our teacher in 2nd grade in 1960! And there is Paul in the class photo. And he is also in my first and third grade class photos, 1959 and 1961 respectively. So my memory was just a year off. By the fourth grade he had disappeared; perhaps it was in 1962 that the family relocated to Rhode Island. The family seemed to be forgotten until June 1967, the summer of love, when I heard "The Rain, The Park, and Other Things" on the radio, and I was like, "Oh my God! I know these guys!" And they have a hit record? What are they doing in Rhode Island? They are from Canton! I couldn't help but to feel a certain sense of betrayal. I mean, Canton's claim to fame is the National Football Hall of Fame, but it could just as easily have been hailed as the home of the Cowsills! I somehow felt cheated. It was then that I queried my parents as to what they recollected from the years they knew the Cowsills at St. Joseph Catholic Church. And there was the talent show, and the bridge parties, and the mutual acquaintance of our family with theirs. "Oh, my God! You're Bernie Toohey's boy!" I will always have a special affection in my heart for the Cowsills.
That is fantastic! If you would like to friend me on Facebook, you could send me the photos and I will post them to the Family Band Facebook page,@@marktoohey7046
I remember growing up listening to the Cowsills and I always thought that these kids had it easy!!!..BOY!!! WAS I WRONG!!!!!!!!!!..This vid really opened my eyes to the sad life these kids had to deal with and the emotional scars that they have to live with all these years!!! Very sad! GOD Bless them and their families......
Yes, indeed.
Holy Crap! I'm 62 and for some reason flower girl was stuck in my brain for 3 days so I pulled it up and then got into the cowsills story. I love all of you! Beautiful music back then, still is but I had no clue about the turmoil you great people had. Love to all you cowsill people.
Think about it, a song you made in the sixties is stuck in the brain of a hard rock enthusiast. Cowsills, you did well.
Thank you for that, Glenn!
I’ve had Tune Lock for 2 weeks... happy, happy, happy... flowers in her hair... flowers everywhere...
I remember seeing them perform at our local Mall in Grand Rapids, Michigan:). Susan is 3 years older than me, and I was pretty young and don’t remember much- other than I thought they were Great! Still do at 57 😊. So sad knowing they really went thru a lot of crappy stuff. Breaks my heart for them. Hugs and Prayers for our Cowsill clan❤️🙏🏻❤️
I've watched this numerous times over the past years. It's so sad and breaks my heart everytime I watch it. Thank you Cowsills, American loves you.
Louise, What an awesome look into their lives 💔. Heartbreaking. The abuse some of these great and talented people went through is almost beyond belief, except it's true. I love the way you put this all together. You've done a wonderful job! Thank you, Thank You, Thank You.
It was my honor to do it.
They all have different takes. A family that sees things from all sides. Thank you, family, for sharing this.
Wow!! What a story. Many thanks to The Cowsills for their contribution to the Rock and Roll scene. Rest In Peace to those who have left us.
To all the children who have survived Tyrannical abusive cruel So-called Fathers.we are still here are they?
Your music is a beautiful gift to humanity! Thank you so much!
My god!!!!! I'm a 63 year old man and I'm in tears, watching this heart breaking story. My father was a drinker, but he never abused or hurt any of us. My mother wouldn't have allowed it. Neither would have I.
Louise thank you for making Family Band. I watched it probably 3 different times all the way through. It was sad,but enlightening to learn their whole story. A couple of years after seeing the movie, I had the opportunity to see the Cowsills live in concert. Bob,Paul and Susan have such a happy,positive vibe on stage. I hope they have that in their regular lives also. Would have loved to meet and talk to them.
I hope you do one day!
The more I listen & sympathize, the more I can feel their anguish & it makes me very sad - & yet, their beautiful harmonies & spirit of song always warms my heart & makes me smile. Their bond in music & love is their medicine & their blessing. Long live The Cowsills ❤
It's amazing they turned out as well as they did ~ sad how it's still so painful & raw for Paul ~ he's a good guy.
It seems the job of picking up the pieces (rescuer) fell to Paul. Heavy load to bear.. : **(
Beatles❤Girl Just saw Paul recently singing with his sister and brother. Was being happy- go-lucky in trying to forget about the past.
Beatles Girl said, "It's amazing they turned out as well as they did ~ sad how it's still so painful & raw for Paul ~ he's a good guy" Actually, it is amazing to realize that these monster parents did such damage that the Cowsill kids with their enormous talent were not even bigger successes for a much longer time. The Cowsill kids could have been a big explosion, instead of a short pretty sparkle. It is sad to see how hurt they are decades later as adults. The scars have gotten thicker, but they didn't heal.
Sorry you had to live through that, Raymond. needless to say, don't turn into your father.
Beatles❤Girl Yes amazing band
It's incredible that such beautiful music came out of such broken people. I'm sure it was the music that save them. Unfortunately they are still carrying that inside them. Heartbreaking, but it's good they are sharing this now.
Yes, it's always healing to share your truth.
Totally agree. Sounds like the father has mental illness.
I know what it’s like to grow up with a raging, unstable parent. In my case, it was my mother. I still suffer greatly from that abuse, even though I now try to take care of her the best I can in her old age. My dad was emotionally distant, unable to teach me about life. I had three sisters and no brothers, and maleness in my family was and is considered evil.
I know I will never fully break out of the cell of the scars of my youth, but sometimes I can mentally escape for a while. I have horrible, painful digestive issues.
But the nice part of my story is that late in life I married a beautiful woman, beautiful inside and out. She tries so hard to take care of me, and I try so hard to take care of her.
The scars of abuse are so deep and inescapable. Parents, there’s nothing wrong with discipline, but never do it out of rage. Delay till you cool down and do it out of love and a sense of what is best for your children. Parental rage is so awfully damaging to children. The echoes of your rage last forever.
Oh, that is so beautifully said. Thank you.
From all of the horrors that this family went thru, they did bring beautiful pop (hits) music to the world that will be played thru all time. Their hits were genius.
Yes!
And the four remaining siblings are still performing.
It's easier to deal with a total jerk than someone who is nice one minute and nasty the next. Each kid will have their own perspective because the older kids usually see the parent/marriage at a better place than the younger ones do. By the time the young ones grow up everything is in chaos. God Bless you all and thankfully you had the music and you gave us all a lot - Thank you. Be well. Love yourself. BIG HUGS
THANKS for your interesting prospective regarding "OLDEST/YOUNGEST SIBLING & (INNER-)FAMILY ABUSE/Turmoil":
Me being the youngest sibling, & coming from a "lack of self-esteem" prospective, & being damaged from a Dad who didn't/could give/provide functionally love properly, along with being verbally abusive, with his hard, lack of being functionally loved upbringing, and having a mom like Mrs. Cowsil who also accepted/received the abuse, and dieing of Cancer when i was 14, I see and understand, why the oldest sibling(s) usually have/has the most self-esteem (and where it usually goes down from there, from each sibling). My current theory is that the oldest child, is NEW (for the parents), and usually gets most attention, etc., thus more functional giving love, thus more self-esteem .
But I guess, both prospectives are shades of same thing, where the oldest got more love/attention , and saw/felt/got 'more' functional love VS dysfunctional (and unlike the later siblings) was more mature, when ones life was evolving during the chaos life cycle.
My beloved Aunt, eventually stepped up/into our lives(family circle) to help some, and supply some real functional love (or at least memories of it, but unfortunately, it too late to change the foundation(s). A pleas, to the-dysfunctional, to look within and heal yourselves AND a plea to the health/good people: NOT TO LOOK-AWAY AND BE SILENT (like the new u.s.a terrorism message of today,, See something Say/DO something)! To the prejudices/abuses among us. Thanks. from never married, inner-child that still has a way to go/grow (at 64) .
I agree. I've seen dynamics change as children are born, whether the family is healthy, middling, or abusive/dysfunctional. Depending on the age spread among the children and the number of children, there are usually widely different experiences. I've seen families with 20 years or more difference between oldest and youngest. The oldest might say dad was tough but fair, the middle children might recall abuse that the older ones deny, and the youngest barely remember seeing their older siblings get beatings, if they remember at all. By the time the younger ones come along the parents might have mellowed some, maybe dote on the littlest ones, and/or maybe the older children step in to take care of the little ones, keeping them from exposure to the risk of abuse. I've heard from some old-timers about how they brought younger siblings, or the siblings-in-law, to stay with them when they married and had children, telling the parents they needed the help, when really it was to give protection. Girls could help with the children, boys could help with the chores, and it wouldn't be questioned either way. Then when the younger ones spent time with their parents, they didn't experience abuse. They might have even experienced loving attention.
Still so painful for them all.
You know, because of their dad ... it pushed them to music because you can hear it in their voices, it was their 'escape'. talk about kids? but once the music started they did a transition and I loved the harmonies, the comedy within the the lyrics, the blend... nothing like the Cowsills.. Blessings to you all guys and thanks for the memories
Yes, and thank you for your thoughts, James!
Louise, thank you for uploading this. It is very emotional and thank you to The Cowsills for allowing us into their lives and sharing their stories with us. It's all so personal. What wonderful people. Bill is my personal favourite.
My pleasure.
Bill is my favorite, as well. Such an under-rated talent.
I totally relate. Completely. I grew up with ritualistic beatings for stupid little crimes like not being home exactly at four thirty for dinner,,,,,or walking down the wrong streets on my way home from school,,,,or for just looking at my dad wrong. He had the big santa claus belt hanging on the wall,,,,,and when it came down it was for pain. My mom didn't protect me,,,in fact,,,she was trained to turn me in for these minor infractions. There were no child protective services,,,,,I went to school unable to sit down because my ass was bloody and swollen from the beatings,,,,and no one questioned the bruises on the rest of my body,,,,,it WAS the times. As for forgiveness,,,,,that is pure bunk. I saw counselors and therapists throughout my life and only after a good one convinced me that it was OKAY to hate your own parents,,,,,was I able to process it,,,move on,,,and find happiness in my own life. You're allowed to be mad,,,,you're allowed to hate,,,,,and when you realize this and do it in a constructive way,,,you CAN move on and have a normal life. Too bad most people just grow up and do it to their own kids and keep the cycle going. As for this poor family,,,,,I hope they found some happiness in bringing joy to others,,,,I loved listening to them sing.
Wow. Your story is powerful. Bless you.
Thank you
That is just heartbreaking.
I'm so terribly sorry that happened to you. So glad you made it through. 💕
William Smith I can relate William. I grew up in a very similar home. I was the youngest of four kids which made me the family whipping boy. My dad was an very angry man who despised me. I recall the look at me on his face which was one of complete disgust. My mom was a religious nut job who felt you were not a good Chrstian unless you were 100% miserable and guilt ridden. Thrown into the mix was a sociopathic brother who was a true sadist and enjoyed physically, mentally, and emotionally abusing me. All three of these people are dead and gone and yes, I still hate them. I could never grasp the concept of forgiveness because I felt that wiped the slate clean for them. Very few people know my background but one regret I do have is never having kids of my own. The reason was my fear that I would end up treating them like my parents treated me.
I love the group Cowsills,and have all albums :) Greetings from Norway.
Greetings to you from Los Angeles!
Oh my goodness, thank you for being candid. Hugs to you all. Loved your music growing up in the 60’s
parents can make or break their children...it is so important to be a fair loving parent. I am not the greatest father, but I strive and all my children still love me.
The bond and love between the siblings and aunts is remarkable..
Such a loveable bunch
Absolutely.
so much talent, so much sadness
I saw the Cowsills in Brownsville texas. LOVE them in the late 1960s. Many fond memories of them.My mom loved their music and we were allowed to buy their records.Our mom always checked out our music.She loved their syyle and so did we.
Awe. That is the cutest!
Amazing that all this was going on behind the scenes. The image vs the reality.
Yes.
thanks for posting. I can really, really relate. God bless the Cowsills.
You are very welcome.
God bless the Cowsills! This is AWESOME STUFF, and coming from a large family myself, I can attest to the craziness.
God Bless us everyone!
Poor Paul needs some serious psychological help. Take this from someone who lived in extremely similar surroundings. Our mom was scared to death to protect us and our step dad was fresh out of the marines, stuck with three kids when he married my mom in 1957- I being the youngest born in 1955, then they had two more kids together making 5 kids. The good thing. He didn't drink, and never had an alcohol problem or a womanizing problem, he was dedicated to my mother, but she was afraid to stick up for us when we each got a little older. I was the oldest son and took the brunt of ridicule, and for years, I carried around what Paul is carrying around with him, but I got help later on and found out that carrying around hatred and anger like that will completely destroy you if you do not nip it in the ... (I won't say the word ). Susan...you have totally got it together. So does Bob, although I sense a lot of sadness in Bob over all of what is coming to the surface when they're together. Poor Barry drowned his sorrows in alcohol, and that is as tragic as his terribly tragic death of being killed by Hurricane Katrina. And then there's Bill. How tragic it is that he suffered with all of these health problems that ended up taking his life. A very gifted man with a beautiful voice with natural vibrato and smooth as satin. The Cowsills were a HUGE part of my life as a musician when I first began playing music (drums). They were my heroes, and were to me what the Beatles were to others. I was 12 when they released their debut album--and they were **IT** for me. I wore out the 45 of The Rain... and the B side, River Blue, as well. I followed them till they broke up the band in 1970. :( It's really very sad to learn all this stuff was going on in their home. Watching this film was extremely Heartbreaking. Heartbreaking. And I have to agree with Susan and Bob. I think it's Bob and Susan who have tried to pick up the pieces. And finally, I became very emotional with the last thing said, by Bob, regarding Christmas and music. Our mom always made certain we had a very special Christmas and if it weren't for my mother, I would have never known was music was all about. I'm 63 now, lost my mother January 3, 2016, and my dad 7 weeks later. I'm not trying compare me with what the Cowsills kids went through, it's just that I can identify with two of them. Bob, Paul and Susan, but mostly Bob and Susan. I just remember feeling about my dad the way he did about Bud, but I never hated my mother because she was living in her own form of hell just like the rest of us kids were. I wouldn't be the drummer I am today, had I not had the mom I had. Sorry to have rattled on here. I would give anything to meet Bob, Susan John and Paul.
Thank you for sharing your story, Steve. It's very powerful.
+Steve Barber I respectfully disagree with your assessment of Paul. Have you seen his other you tube interview? Yes he's angry, but it's *righteous* anger! He has obviously done A LOT of inner soul searching. He was, imo, very self effacing actually, with a huge amount of compassion in him for the other members of his family ( witness his pain over his brother Bob's beatings or Susan's life changing epiphany over her mom's response following her father's attempted molestation)
There seems to be a movement to forgive what is often just plain unforgivable behavior. In the other interview, Paul talks of his love of nature (set landscaper), his love of his job, one sees the obvious love he has of his dogs and the respect he has for his wife and-perhaps most importantly- he talks about the responsibility of parenthood and the love he feels and EXPRESSES toward his children. That is not carrying around internalized anger. That is someone who's been through it and come out on the other side. I think Paul showed a lot of wisdom.
I don't mean to downplay what therapy has done for you. (It's done an h of a lot for me..also a 1955er :-0) So many people-particularly church raised women- are told to forgive "for their own good" without being allowed to see..really see.. the whole picture. One has to be able to truly feel the anger (to have a sense of self that sees itself worthy of respect and love) before one can truly forgive..Perhaps I'm thinking of myself here. I was able to forgive the unforgivable early on..but that was because I was "raised" to see the value of the dominant one as opposed to myself. The hardest part was unearthing that self that NEEDED to feel the anger first.
Again, this may not apply to you. Many may feel very uncomfortable about the anger Paul expresses about his parents. But I see someone who calls a spade a spade and says "the buck stops here" I see someone who has come out on the other side with love for his family and respect for himself. I don't see "poor Paul". I see someone who refuses to whitewash a perpetrator (s)
Also, it was up to Paul ,growing up, to pick up the pieces. He, by his own admission, took care of the last 3 siblings. He was the one to whom Susan went for protection from her father. He was the one always "washing the dishes". He was the child who managed to step up to the plate when the parents were playing out their co-dependent relationship and drinking, smoking.. even, if relative is to be believed, drugging.
Steve - No need to censor, the idiom is “nip it in the BUD”, as a rose bud.
@@bluebirds4me Hi bluebirds4me. Thanks ever so much for your comment. It's heartfelt, and great advice. I will defintely watch Paul's other interviews. Thanks for pointing me to them. :^)
I think we should applaud my friend Louise, for yet, another masterpiece , this WONDERFUL documentary, as with her film of The Cowsills. Thank you my lovely friend, Louise.
Thank you for those kind words, Dave!
You know me so well now, as a friend, and a professional artist, I WOULD NEVER LIE TO YOU!
I've loved these songs all these years and did not know the Cowsills were a family band spun me out.
Thank you, Louise for publishing this unseen footage after all these years. Yet another, far uglier layer is revealed of our beloved Cowsills' true history. I can only hope that there is/was some catharsis for them in their brutal honesty. As naive young fans of this family, we could never in our wildest dreams imagined the hidden horrors they lived through. I'm really curious how this documentary evolved. I assume that you hadn't originally intended to open such a can of worms? No wonder it took so many years to come to fruition. The results were worth the wait...it's brilliant, poignant and brings their unique story full circle.
I had a feeling. I'm just not certain that childhood comes first for children in show business.
I still have the first 3 albums of the Cowsills d we. My dad bought them in 1973 , I do believe . I remember the record player being on high volume , when he played the “ COWSILLS “ . What a great group of artists!!
They sure are.
A sad but not uncommon story. I hope they were able to salvage something, those who are left, in their final years.
I saw them in performance at Purdue in 1970 or 71. So talented. It breaks my heart they had such a SOB for a father. Don’t know if he ever got one, but if anyone ever needed an ass-kicking, it was him.
My memories are very different of our upbringing than my siblings, often it feels like they're different parents with each child, which makes sense as no child responds or needs the same from their parents.
Raised on the farm by two wonderful parents, who weren't perfect. I am very fortunate I have no stories of abuse, discipline yes.
Very wise and well said insight.
All i have is love and admiration for all of you. This is sure to touch more people than you know, it did me. I am glad you all were able to walk away from the ruble and create your own lives. I understand this more than you know. Thank you for sharing your hearts and your story.
Christinna Guzman - You took the words right out of my mouth!
Coming from a family of eight and me being the baby, this helps me to see that we all had very different views and our own interpretations of what we lived in the same family. That right there is a huge reason why so many siblings don't get along. If you don't have the capacity to see another's point of view because of your own woundedness (if that is not a word, it is now) it is difficult to connect. The Cowsills have demonstrated here some of the work that they did to stay connected, which is a beautiful thing.
I have great empathy for this family. Each turned out differently. I can’t keep all the names straight. I think Billy was the oldest and passed away first, he was lead singer on the first hit. I do not know the name of the man who tragically died in Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, so sad. Paul development a sense of humor and is a showman on stage. One is the best drummer The Beach Boys ever had, as per Mike Love. The level headed guitar player is a fine man, very reasonable. The lady has a pretty good sense of humor and is warm with an audience. I do not know the others. Their story is very painful. Adults now for many years and approaching their death, I hope they are at peace with each other. I do enjoy their music. Real nice harmonies.
Yes, Louise, thanks for sharing. This is proof that you can go through "hell" and come out stronger.
Gawd! This reminds me so much of my own family. I'm nearly 60y.o., and I still have a lot of resentment for my parents.
Oh, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
You know the good thing is they had each other, and the remaining bunch seem to really have it together. Proud of them, and glad they survived
Absolutely!
I love The Cowsills they are so wonderful and humble and there music is always spectacular , and I never get tired of watching there videos pretty amazing
What a shame that even from the grave Bud Cowsill continues to hurt and divide his children. The sins committed by parents are visited upon their children for the rest of their lives.
I just hope someday soon that Bud cowsill's remaining children still have a chance of recovering
God Bless the Cowsill siblings that still living today and so sorry as kids their father had these problems over his kids.
And God may he be with the mother and kids that are deceased.
Love the aunts ...so cute!
Aren't they?!
It was striking to learn that the kids didn't talk amongst and support each other over their shared parental difficulties back in the day. Was it Bob who said towards the end that they were each an island unto themselves? That's just tragic.
I think it's probable that just giving another kid a sympathetic look would get you smacked. They learned at a young age how to survive in this family.
I love The Cowsills, but how do you hit the"LIKE" button when Bud is involved. Still, I have to, since this is important information. I'm the same age as John, and grew up listening to The Cowsills and seeing them in Tiger Beat. They're all excellent musicians - a fact that's often overlooked, as they're discounted as a bubblegum pop act, but they knock my socks off with their harmonising, and I think John is a most outstanding drummer. There's a video of Flower Girl (Sic) live - where he's only 10 and playing and singing so very well.Thanks for posting - it's a sad story but the surviving Cowsills are a story of redemption.
Yes, and you may want to check out the documentary that you will see noted in the above description.
I love that video, he twirls the drumstick in the air and his playing is so professional for such a young age!!
Thank you Louise for this rockumentary film; I never knew any of this I just admire them more than ever.
Thank you for watching!
I love Susan Cowsill. I love her and she is so unpretentious as well as immensely talented.
Maureen McCormick and Susan were good pals as teens. I read Maureen"s memoir a few years ago.
I, too, had an abusive father, and other abusers in my life. And I can tell his daughter definitely, "yes, some people are born evil." Stop making excuses for your evil father. People who intentionally hurt others, especially children, do NOT know how to love.
Thank you for this video! ♥
My pleasure.
I love their music but this is absolutely heartbreaking to see.
Wow, thank you for this.. I can relate,, but thank God we have choice in life as adults to admit the truth from the worst to the best & do the best we can, we all have are own stories & perceptions in are families. Thank you to The Cowsills to put themselves out there to help a lot of us folks get through what ever we are still dealing with from the past. Thank you, God Bless them all.
So well said.