I'm a Singaporean Chinese. My parents never cared about the grades of us three. Even though i get an F for Chinesr every year, they can even make a joke out of it. My eldest sister is a lawyer, my second sis a civil engineer, i'm an electrical engineer. There's really nothing to compare. I'm a favourite in my family only.because of my ability to make my family laugh. Not everything is about academics. It's about being happy in liife, that is what's important.
Well, Tommy, at least you and your family get it, but the traditional old-school Chinese family would not, unfortunately, and that also applies everywhere, even in the USA and Singapore, but Singapore is also possibly even more restrictive than China, so there is also that thing to consider.
Parents like that deserve it when their kids turn their backs on them. If they weren't there for you in the tough times, they don't deserve anything when you prosper. Good move slamming the door in their faces.
I just don't get these people who are abused by their parents and keep supporting them. And keep returning for more abuse. "Thank you, Mom, may I have another?" You're NEVER going to earn their love. The old saying "you reap what you sew" is completely missing here. They keep sewing hate and abuse and keep reaping love and support.
@@Claudia-lq3ns actually it's not about what takes who to learn what. It's about the journey in general. And no child -even if they are identical can be brought up the same. Secondly some kids you actually can push while other nope. And that's that
@@TrulyAGhost Miss I’m glad you as a mother. Btw I’m not one but still grateful that you discovered what is wrong and right with your child and is trying to fix it
Putting stress on a child going through school and expecting perfect grades causes early burnout and resentment towards those who constantly expect their children to perform perfectly in all areas of school curriculum.
I had a younger sister who was the “golden child” who got great grades. The difference was that I had to start working and paying rent from the age of 9 years old. I did gardening for 20 yards. I had 3 paper routes at a time from 12 to 14 when I started working as a cook in restaurants. I became a nurse. My parents gave me an old car dad had been driving, she got a new car and never had to work, including chores. She still thinks everyone owes her a living and won’t speak to me and trashes me to my friends. The parents paid for her to go to 4 years of college. I paid for trade school for myself. The best part is that I have a spouse for almost 40years and no one will put up with her for very long. She actually tried to get my husband to leave me because “it’s not fair” that I have a spouse for life.
I was pressured by both my parents and all 4 grandparents. I truly hated school and couldn't wait to get away from my family. At age 16 I had the equivalent of an Associate's degree in veterinary sciences , got myself a job , got emancipated and moved out. Haven't spoken to any of them since. So yeah , pressure your kids and they're going to resent the people who are pressuring them
allowing a mean person stay with you for any reason when you have kids. IS WRONG. think of all the damage you are doing to your kids. this person is doing this to themselves. send her home. let them settle what they are going to do. but don't let them mess up your kids.
The Guy from story one needs to write his will so the family gets nothing. Leave it to stray cats, or homeless kids to have a place to live after being kicked out to have a place to live where they can get their high school diploma. Or a scholarship for someone Who graduated mid class rank but is going to collage.
I am also Asian and unfortunately i suffered very much like OP = my older brother was naturally talented straight A+, school captain, etc... i am being compared to him constantly. I can tell you it took its toll on me and that i will never be good enough for them. However it did help me grow a spine and ignore criticism 😔
My friend is Thai and moved to the USA when she was young (under 5yo) with her parents. If she got an A- or lower, her mom would scatter uncooked rice on the floor in front of a wall and make her kneel on it with her face against the wall for 1-4 hours, depending on how bad the grade was. Pushing your kids that hard will often lead to mental health and/or substance abuse issues, as well as resentment.
Yeah that’s just abuse, not even remotely parenting, it’s bullying and abuse I know people say ‘it’s different bla’ because ‘bla bla harder times bla bla cultural differences’ but let’s be real , a kid only knows the life they see from, they don’t know when mom or dad’s behaviour is wrong all the time, worse of all, they have to take it regardless Be a better parent, if treating an adult like that would be abuse then a kid is just as much if not MORE
I’ve heard horror stories of how bad a parent my GRANDPA was to my dad. Final straw was slugging my dad in the face (fist, not open-hand slap) for grabbing the first piece of grilled chicken instead of letting my grandma have the first piece. He enlisted in the army the next day. OP was raised by terrible parents due to their character and cultural stereotypes but in the end OP never stopped to their level. My father once told me he raised me as best he could and didn’t want to be the same as my grandpa. He learned how NOT to act as a parent from my grandpa. OP was the same, he chose to not be like his parents/family.
I would have been the kind of kid to make the momma do that f u c k i n g s h i t and then tell her, "If you ever act like such a narcissistic, power tripping, power hungry, and tyrannical t w a t ever again, then your body is going to be scattered like that rice on the floor...your call". Thankfully, my female parental unit, flawed as she was as a human being, never was that cruel to myself in my life.
@@NeoRazgriz , did your dad confront your grandpa and beat the f u c k out of him? He should have done that and said to him, "THAT was not just for the chicken, but for the years of abuse that you put me through", then told him afterwards, "If you ever retaliate in ANY way, shape, form, and/or function, by yourself, or through ANY other party, then what happened here today will pale in comparison to the next time that this happens to you", if I was feeling generous, otherwise, the body of your grandpa would never be found ever again...just let it be known that the local omnivorous/carnivorous wildlife would be getting a free meal that day.
@@NeoRazgriz If I was your dad I would've had to fight the urge to tell that grandpa that punching me was the last straw and that he has to sleep sometime.
I've never understood why parents get mad at c+ or c- ,my friend got D's throughout school and her parents got so happy cause she didn't fail lol I graduated from school with b and parents was proud my sister a+ and didn't even treat us differently was an equal happiness honestly
Because your high school Gpa literally effects what you can study, collage you can get into , financial aid and more which has a direct impact on the rest of your life. You don't magically start high school able to study long hours , comprehend new material quickly and ace subjects. The majority of the successful people started early and prepped for years taking extra classes , certifications ,and cramming advanced subjects to be able to place in the top 1% giving them the chance to do what they want.
@@wind5250 I get it but why get mad at YOUR CHILD like I get it. but like they're learning why taking all the fun of it why not giving rewards like there's literally people who will disown upon seeing a bad grade, like life is about learning and you keep learning till you die.. but people like that suck all the fun of it and now what they have a successful child who literally don't have time for anything but hating their parents. For pressuring them into getting a perfect grade to work in perfect high paying jobs to pay for their parents to live a comfortable life and work in a field that they have absolutely no love for and costing them higher than they asked for. And in the way they are going to realize all of the sht they were put through is just to fulfill their parents fantasy and when they go and take a look back and see what their parents achieved it'll always the less or the bare minimum and nothing like what they are making their children do and go through. It's always the same old story of parents who pressure kids
Yeah, for sure. I typically got A's & B's. One report card I got punished because I got one C. Whereas, the same reporting period, my younger brother got C's & D's and he was praised because he managed to not fail any classes. Sure, that REALLY makes me want to try harder next semester.
I wouldn’t be excited with a D if it’s my kid but I wouldn’t be too hard on them either. Id encourage them to do better on the next quiz or test. It’s because I’d want my kid to succeed by doing their very best they can do for God first and foremost.
I finished High school at the age of fourteen and headed straight to uni. I couldn't interact or socialise with my peers as they were all young adults. By seventeen I completed my first PhD and headed of from England to work in the US. Working in the middle of nowhere with others like me, socially inept, quiet, solitary and insulated was my life for three years. I returned to the same conditions but closer to home. I began to realise that others had made every decision for me for as long as I could remember. I also realised that people were right, I was a freak. A genius? Yes, but still a freak of nature. I slowly began to take control of my life, my first independent decision was that I would never make such insane demands on any child of mine. A decision I honoured. Let your children find their own path, allow them to explore, succeed, fail, cry, celebrate and live. They are not mini-me's, they do not carry your hopes and dreams. Their successes are their own. A parent is a support network, cheerleading squad, safety net, shoulder to cry on and human shield if ever required. Of course we should celebrate every success, every milestone and every step in life but we celebrate with them, not for ourselves. There is enough pressure on young people without insane parents adding to the stress. Try asking, listening and helping...so much more healthy and productive than demanding, coercing and bullying.
Being “gifted” doesn’t mean it comes natural to succeed in life, in fact gifted kids have more needs to succeed than average kids It’s like everyone else is building a cottage with life to work with while your building a mansion, this is why a lot of gifted kids end up taking the long way around to success. If your kid is THAT smart and gifted , as a parent you will need to support them more than most kids to find there potential
I briefly met this guy in the army, but what happened afterwards is incredible. His father abandoned him and his mother before he was born, and his grandparents (mothers' parents) went back to work to provide for him. His mother worked too but died when he was 10. Never knew his father's parents, but he was raised well and with love. His grandfather went back to work as a trashman, his grandmother tried to teach again but no one wanted to rehire her. He enlisted when he was 18 and tried to give them his sign on bonus, they both refused and told him to save it for his education. He served for eight years, until he lost the lower part of his leg to an IED in Iraq. They offered to let him come live with them again, they did not put a time limit on him living there. Meanwhile, he learned about some kind of investing and started using some of his money before his injury. When his grandfather got cancer, he paid for his treatments in cash, and later as the treatments didn't work for his pain medication. His grandmother tried to give him all of his grandfather's money, saying she would go to some old folk's place. She lived with him until her death last year. In his 500k house taken care of by a live in nurse when he wasn't there. After her funeral an old crackhead looking man came up to him and said he was his father and that he owed him for being born. The "father" then demanded half of his money and wanted the son to buy him a house. It took 6 of us to restrain him from seriously injuring his father, and we told that old asshole that if he didn't leave, we'd call the cops on him. He looked very confused as to why his son didn't think he owed him anything.
I always looked at the grde my Sons got in the effort & behavior section of their report cards. One of my Sons was in the gifted program te other had an I.E.P, was in the special needs program and learning disabilities. I believe that my way of addressing this was best. After all doing the best they could while being well behaved is a win!
Yep. If they are doing their best and behaving themselves, then that is literally all you can ask of them! Praising them for getting top grades, if they don't even have to work for them, is NOTHING. "Way to go! You did the easy thing! WOOOOT!" But if they have to WORK for those grades, and put in all the effort, and bring home a B or even a C, then you say, "You worked so hard! You studied and really put in the effort! Go, you!" School is supposed to teach the material, yes, but out in "the real world," it's not "What happened in the year 1066?" that matters. What matters is PUTTING IN THE EFFORT on your job. You may be working a manufacturing line, where you don't even USE your brain, but the bosses will still notice who is putting in the EFFORT and who is not. School is about teaching kids HOW TO WORK. That's literally why schools were created, in the first place. People who wanted their children to learn how to THINK, and how to KNOW stuff hired private tutors.
@@AuntLoopy123 my son that had learning disabilities went to Jr College and then took the EMT course and now has a good job in a very large city. I will admit I was concerned about him for a time. I am lucky. Both of my Sons are going to be fine. In todays society with few resources and the cost of education life is harder for the middle class than it was when I was younger. Good luck to US all.
It's hard to hear stories of kids suffering at the hands of their parents. It's also hard to hear when a family won't sincerely apologize and mend their differences. Life is too precious to terrorize each other.
OP's wife is sacrificing her marriage, the emotional safety of her children, and her family's financial future for a woman incapable of loving her. OP needs to give her the choice between her mom and him and their family. And don't let the MIL divorce her husband because he's financially responsible for her. Send all the bills to him, and let him deal with them.
Both OP and his wife need to grow a spine and either throw mother out right now and send her back home OR FORCE to have a divorce and throw her out later But throw her out should be the goal! "But we can't just throw her out and have to support her" HELL NO! You don't have to support satan!
I understand OP a lot. That was exactly how I was treated. I turned out very successful, and now I am a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant working towards Directorship and National.
Story 1: The mom died of stress. Just like the pandemic isolation caused stress to many people, getting your social life butchered by getting publicly shamed will do the same amount of damage. I went no contact with my mom when she refused to apologize for stepping on my wife's veil. In just three months from not talking to her, she went from partial grey hairs to a full head of gray and whites.
Well, when your mother is Queen of the Zeal Kingdom, and your father was an equally evil King, and they literally tried to sacrifice your older sister to a planet eating, and replicating, parasite that demanded worship and sacrifice, I say that you did the right thing in going no contact with her.
We’re not Asian and neither one of them went to high school, both quit in the 8th grade, I’ve always struggled with, even basic math, I was great in all my other subjects, I always got D’s in math, other than that, the rest of my grades were A’s I had actually gotten a free ride to San Diego State University, my parents wouldn’t sign the forms because I was a minor. I lost my scholarship because of it. My parents said with only B’s I didn’t deserve the scholarship, I left home as soon as I graduated from high school, I was 17 when I left home. They wanted me to go to a jr college close to home so I could go to school and work my 3 jobs to support them and my brothers. I was done with them, I became a Funeral Director/ Embalmer
@@ridgewalker5718 I couldn’t embalm my mom or dad because my mom died in California and I wasn’t licensed to do it in California and my stepmom had my dad cremated before my brother’s or I could get to Arizona I wasn’t licensed in Arizona either., I lived in Indiana when both my parents passed away. I was in the embalming room while they were prepping my mom though. I was licensed in Indiana, Kentucky and here in Missouri, I’m retired now.
@@vangildermichael1767 I couldn’t embalm my mom or dad, I wasn’t licensed in California where my mom lived but I was in the embalming room while they were embalming her and my stepmom had my dad cremated before my brothers and I could get to Arizona, I lived in Indiana at the time.
I mean.... Does that really require a degree or just hands on experience? I'm really confused here. Seems like something you could work your way up to instead of punishing yourself financially for. But maybe I'm just clueless here
Story 1: Not only did OP do everything right but he made sure his parents and brother couldn't ride use his fame, wealth, or new reputation as a wealthy man to look good after putting their action out for their family and guest was a good move before he cut all ties with them But in the end, the real Karma came when his mother was in the hospital in her last days wanting to reach out to OP for forgiveness to alleviate the guilt of her past sins. The father will also now be alone or living with his golden child either reliving the part he played in aiding his wife's actions in tormenting OP or regretting his actions knowing his turn will soon be next. Personally one would claim that the actions OP's parents took toward him were just a part of how things are done in Asian culture with the parents pushing their children past their normal limits as a way of preparing them for the cruelty of the world he will soon live in and how their education will benefit them in life even at the cost of them having emotional damage ranging from depression to feeling guilty for not trying hard enough. However, while this story ended well for OP becoming a better man despite being thrown out of his home after being abused in the ways told it reminded him he was a survivor who will never have to suffer his parents or brother using him as their emotional punching bag ever again. But in the end, some stories on Reddit involving Asian parents who pushed their children too far with studying to the point it broke them when they got a failing grade didn't turn out to end well.
@@Mr.Reddito ok. first of all i am honored that you replied to my comment. and secondly, YOU ARE 10000% CORRECT!!!!Success is what you chose to be happy doing. and it dont matter how long it takes you to get there. crawl first.. then you will eventully be able to walk and even run to that finish line. but never EVER stop trying to reach your goals no matter what!!!!!!
As a parent I just don't understand how you could treat your child like that....I used to tell my kids I didn't care if they wanted to be a garbage man so long as they were doing what made them happy....
Story 2: He needs to tell his wife that what her mother did to her (allowing the father to abuse her) is no different than what she is allowing her mother to do to her own children. She needs to make a choice; her kids or her mother.
Geeze that last OP and his wife have no spines. Tell her to shut up or get out already! Remind her who's helping her when her husband has all the means to do so but chooses not to!
IDK if op is going to read this. But congratulations on your success and your wealth. But I hope you find someone to share your life with. And you create your own family. And the best revenge you can have in your family is to be a great partner to your significant other. And to be a great father. And even if you don't end up with someone you can always adopt. Because I think you make a terrific dad. And just in my opinion
Story 1: OP became incarnation of karma. Story 2: Wife is a doormat and husband should have tossed MIL instead and all three are awful parents as the last thing in all their minds is their children.
Story 2: It sounds like the husband of the MIL is scheming to get a life insurance payout by refusing to provide suitable medical care in the hope that it will be considered natural causes even though he is helping it along.
Story 1: Who'd want to go on a family vacation with a toxic family? Stress equals bad health and less focus. You succeeded in spite of them, they can't stand this, their precious image. I wouldn't have dressed like a slob but I'd have corrected them on every lie and how I'd pay for nothing for the wedding trip. They didn't mean it? So why did they keep doing it for years? Story 2: Why turn your world upside down for an ungrateful, racist selfish woman? Set a time before you throw MIL out.
In story 1, he forced them to see that they aren't as high and mighty as their raging narcissism had lead them to be. And that his success was in spite of their parenting, not because of it.
Never belittle a child, that child will grow up with a very bad and low self-esteem and will resent you and will plan a very nasty revenge against you.
I’ve heard horror stories of how bad a parent my GRANDPA was to my dad. Final straw was slugging my dad in the face (fist, not open-hand slap) for grabbing the first piece of grilled chicken instead of letting my grandma have the first piece. He enlisted in the army the next day. OP was raised by terrible parents due to their character and cultural stereotypes but in the end OP never stopped to their level. My father once told me he raised me as best he could and didn’t want to be the same as my grandpa. He learned how NOT to act as a parent from my grandpa. OP was the same, he chose to not be like his parents/family.
Dream come true to watch a bad parent die with their last breath calling out your name ...lol yeah i still need therapy ,decades of horrible abuse don't go away that easily
While I understand on a personal level the tension between him and his mother, I'm once again grateful that my dad was in my corner. I did fairly well in high school and what little college I had before marriage. Even though I really no longer have a relationship with my mother, personally I would have gone to the hospital. Remember, forgiveness is as much or more for you than it is for the offender. I'm in no way saying that what happened should be ignored, and I realize that any parent/child bridge is burned to cinders, but...a final farewell may have been a good thing. On the other hand, I do realize that there would be the risk of the rest of the family (father and brother) trying to get their claws back into you, so I respect your decision. I think what hurts me the most, is the fact that my brother is gone and we really loved each other, that that facet of the story hit me a little hard.
Had similar experience. My parents tried to convince me that I was mildly retarded and school wasn't for me. They kicked me out at 17. Had to join military to put a roof over my head. I graduated medical school and became diplomat in Internal Medicine in the collage of physicians. The entire time I was in undergraduate school I got all A grades with the exception of one B+. My parents told me I was either lying about my grades or cheating. Over the years my parents continue to suffer greatly due to !medical gross negligence. At one point, just for money, a doctor removed a lens from my mothers eyes, and put the wrong synthetic lens into her eye. One physician literally castrated my dad! Now he can't produce testosterone. There was no reason for the castration! One thing after another my parents are dismantled by a corrupt medical community. I tried to help dozens of times but each time my parents refused the help! A big part of my practice is consulta
It's the way they just expect Op to fail. Like, there's nothing worse that you could do for a child in that situation than to straight up have no faith in them and just always expect failure then get angry when, surprise surprise, they fail. Maybe if they actually took time to help Op, their grades would have been better, but no. They expected failure, treated them like a failure, and punished them for being basically exactly what they were taught to be.
The parents got major karma and he was in the right to do what he did at the party. They were pretentious and they didn't deserve anything from him. He broke them just like they tried to do to him in his school years. He came out on top and had every right to laugh in their face.
I have seen a few friends who lived thru this. It saddened me as I was not a model student,but my parents accepted me for who I was back then. Wow. Unbearable parents. Excellent story of revenge. Horrible parents who try to take their thunder
Get rid of her kick her out send her back to her husband you don't need her why are you why do you keep doing it you kick her out so she's more likely to get help if you kick her out
You don't need school to be successful, you can't study for talent. But school can help in certain ways for the future. The family in this story absolutely disgusting
Story #2; It couldn't be me because my mom if she was like that she would be entirely on her own. I would've let her husband take care of her and blocked her calls. Karma is a trip
I can relate to the OP in the first story. The last six years of my mothers life I did not speak to anyone in my family she disowned me for being myself and not what she wanted me to be. Even in her waning days I refused to visit or even take her call. The first time I seen my family was when my Brother called saying my dad wanted me to come to the house because they needed to discuss withdrawing life-support from my mother. I attended but told them it’s not my place to participate in that decision because I wanted to see her death. Since then I have reconciled with my father and the rest of the family and he is obscenely apologetic at the treatment and abuse I suffered at my mothers hand growing up. It’s been almost a year now and I’m thankful to have my father and my younger siblings back and not have to deal with that conceited bitch ever again. I would go shit on her grave if she wasn’t buried in the national cemetery, as a veteran myself I have too much respect for her neighbors to defile her grave.
I would love to zone out through my Mom's "pep talks," but she makes sure to regularly ask questions to keep me engaged in her tearing me down. She's a narcissist, at least IMO.
I got rid of an abusive 'brother' and years before that I managed to make my mom rebel against my alco-step'father'. The last story's 'mother' is to go to hell, there's no way a sociopath can learn or change - he/she will only keep destroying everything around. The wife is an example of 'Goodness is a weakness'. What about being good to her husband, kids, pets, the neighbours, and the society (anti-model pattern is a pattern as any of them, and they keep recurring)!? Stockholm syndrome is a degenerating factor. The wife has no clue she's in it. It's effed-up and without a clear-cut wisdom there's only sorrow for them to come.
I suffered certain forms of abuse from my own mother and I also did not visit her one last time while she was dying. That part of the video really hurt to see.
Had an asian friend who was so stressed in HS that he thought he had ulcers and was always saying I am sorry, like I am sorry for saying I am sorry. One parent was a nurse and another a principal. He went to university but dropped after one quarter and joined the coast guard. I hope he is happy today. I don't know what they expected from him at university but not everybody is going to be a doctor. Although I can guarantee that everybody can get a university degree because all it really takes is money and taking the right classes. For some reason companies I have worked for are so shallow that they equate brains with a degree. It is too bad but I always trained up the hyper smart ones who should not be doing grunt work. Maybe they can use their skills and find a better employer. My sister is normal intelligence and was lucky she only had one teacher of mine that compared her to me but that upset her a lot. My parents never put her down and that might have been because dad had dyslexia. I was yelled at for having to repeat a test more than once because of refusing to memorize silly years in history. I was told at that time, 4th grade, that I would be going to university so I took study seriously and memorized stupid stuff like how many pounds of wool in a bag. I unfortunately did call my sister stupid but that was just the huge age gap and not really wanting to be around her until age 12 when kids can reason. I am sorry I gave her a complex because I am not sure she realizes she is normal. Other parents would say to their kids why can't you be like her. That isn't really fair to them or me. I was the odd duck and they never became friends.
wait is there gonna be a part two tommarrow? i want to know what happens next to that awful MIL and op and his family honestly i cant image what Op and the family are going through with that awful MIL
My mom was/is the same way with me. I'm Native American and she's white. I'm adopted btw. My mom went as far as to contact the college SHE signed me up for, picked my classes and got the dean of the college to be my student advisor! Needless to say I was expelled. It didn't end well. Lol she finally realized she couldn't dictate my life anymore. We are still distant, living half way across the U.S. from each other. I visit every 5-8 yrs and call every 3 or 4 months. I love her, but can't bear to be with her for very long. It's too stressful for me plus I have a heart condition and bad anxiety now. My anxiety is so bad I end up having muscle spasms all over my body, it kinda looks like I'm having a seizure. So I stay away from my mom. I wish things were better between us, I hope and pray for changes with us.
What you do is put a lock on your refrigerator. She eats when you say she can eat. water only. And if anybody complains tell them they're welcome to come there and feed her. Perhaps they could even make room in their home for her.
1st Op was kicked out of his parents house for failing in school. So, he completed school under all that stress. Went to college without the support of his parents. Brother just goes to shame his brother. Finished college and made a Successful life. I don't blame him for cutting his family out his life.
@@tomprosser8958 If he is still in high school when being kicked out it is still illegal and even if not he is legally entitled to 30 days notice since it is his place of residence.
Yea, my dad started putting pressure on me when he stopped trick driving. I did great because no one was paying attention. Not everyone is like this, but leaving me alone actually did better for me.
In my opinion the parents in the 1st post should consider themselves lucky because there is a True Crime Daily episode about a dad who worked in a tool & die shop and was hell bent on his kids becoming a doctor, lawyer, or some high end job and the stress caused the daughter to make the parents become what George Orwell would call a "Unperson".
What do you call a doctor who finished last in his class? Answer: Doctor. Strive to do the best that you can, without worrying about the final grade, and you'll be just fine.
I'm glad he was successful, but even though his brother had been a bullying jerk to him, it was uncouth to show him up at his engagement party. I wish OP had thrown a big party and invited the relatives to it to let them know how he was doing. If he wanted to be petty, he could have not invited his parents and brother, then announced to everyone why he hadn't invited them.
I have Asian friend she's Japanese and she told me this was so common in her household and in many Asian households that the parents expect their kids to do good in school they only accept all A's and B's nothing below a c and whenever she didn't get all straight A's her parents would criticize her for not trying she had low self-esteem because of the pressure.
My mother was a piano teacher with a private class for about 25 years, from the early 60s to the late 80s. One year she had 2 students that were asian, approximatly 6 and 8 years old. At one point their mother told my mom that she was to hit them when they made mistakes, something my mon would never do no matter what. After the Christmas holidays that year they were told my mother had no more room for them and they had to find another teacher.
Yep so dang true lol so true, im dyslexic of an Japanese's raised family. I was looked down to and did all the labor work of my faily business and and never paid got $5 allowance a week only. they got easy $100 plus a week they paid the gas, insurance, car note, take money plus allowance. they only had passing grades. but I was the same grades as them but I had bad grammar because I was dyslexic. but if asked me verbally I will Ace it all. as I grew up, I became the black sheep of the family and treated like the crap on the bottom of there shoes. so when I turn 18. I join the navy became a corpsman I became a phlebotomist then a scrub tech, getting my radiology and physical therapy goal will be PA before retirement or 20 years. i met my goals in 9 years I started got mt civilian PA and started my cross over to be a PA IN THE NAVY. I return home, with triplets 2 girls one boy then second son. im not married. thought they be proud all they did is complain, they need to take my sons away im so un educated, navy schooling is a sham. my kids are 8 and 7 atm. they thought i came home to beg for job, i need extra money to get buy SMH. said no i make more then them, told kids visit is over we going to the navy lodge/officers barracks lets go. They have a pool will be fun and left. the asked the kids what i do. "doctor" they said. phone blew up to come back. i never answered the phone still have not. i retired 3 years ago. i work for civilian hospital. family came in. saw them refuse service, appoint new doc, its a relative. was only sprain ankle. I still spell like crap. they now ganged up on me. flat out said. you treat me like crap, said will take my sons, not care of the girls. demanded i slave for them. why should forget or care who you/they are. 12 years pass since I walked out. had my first meal with them with my kids, m0m is 72 grand parents are 91 and 98. so much lost time. told them flat out, lie, beg talk of past or ask for crap or cash for siblings i will leave forever. will not come to funeral it be over. they started to talk grandpa screamed to then said shut up. or he will move out so he can meet his grand daughter and her kids.... we come weekly for dinner, sister demanded a home and car. told her to bug off. never speak to me again. brother is worse off but treated with respect. he lost his wife had one girl he provides for with 2 jobs. I do her birthdays and there vacation and ma and grand parents will die soon0nly request was not to cold places they hurt to much. i agree. lost my mom 3 years later, then grandma, grandpa moved in he lived to be 102. asked me to visit sister dont provide for her is all asking, my sister died 2 weeks ago. never saw her.
It sounds like you’re in the US. Call your local area agency on aging/adult protective services & keep calling--report her as an elder in danger. Unfortunately, depending on the state, if she refuses services there’s nothing anyone can do. But get the ball rolling. Look into in home health care, it will be out of pocket but it will give your family a break, it could be $24 to $30+ an hour. See if any of her friends could come for a couple hours or maybe people from your church. You’ll have to explain how she’s being to give them a heads up. See if your wife can get guardianship ship over her--about $3k in our area--you can then make decisions for her. Call the police & report what her husband did & also report him to APS. I went through this with our mom, I was here practically 24/7 about 56 days. My sibling didn’t come because they were busy & lacked funds. Mom had a few friends that were able to come sit with her. She was finally put on hospice & passed. Please, please, please OP do NOT abandon your wife & children (this is what you’re doing by being gone so long/often) they need you know more than ever. Suck it up, man up & be the strong leader they need. Remember that you may be in your mil’s position yourself one day. Your family needs you more than ever
I think at that "celebration" which was the last time he ever saw his family he was TESTING them. I think he was giving them ONE FINAL CHANCE to genuinely apologize and make amends to him. Had they been GENUINE and admitted immediately how wrong it was to treat him the way they had and had they fully taken responsibility then I think he would have reconciled with them and would have had some form of relationship with them even if not as close as it might have been had he had a better childhood, and he would have been with his mother to honor her final request to see him as she was dying. I think failing that final test of his was the final straw.
I'm a Singaporean Chinese. My parents never cared about the grades of us three. Even though i get an F for Chinesr every year, they can even make a joke out of it. My eldest sister is a lawyer, my second sis a civil engineer, i'm an electrical engineer. There's really nothing to compare. I'm a favourite in my family only.because of my ability to make my family laugh. Not everything is about academics.
It's about being happy in liife, that is what's important.
Well, Tommy, at least you and your family get it, but the traditional old-school Chinese family would not, unfortunately, and that also applies everywhere, even in the USA and Singapore, but Singapore is also possibly even more restrictive than China, so there is also that thing to consider.
your family is a fortress of it own, you just need one more: Doctor.
just kidding, have a good life~!
You're the lucky exception when it comes to Asian parents then. Those fucking Asian f's really fucked with my head
Story 1: As it turned out the parents kicking the OP ended up being the only good parenting decision that they made
No thanks to them !!
His parents and brother are so toxic!
Parents like that deserve it when their kids turn their backs on them. If they weren't there for you in the tough times, they don't deserve anything when you prosper. Good move slamming the door in their faces.
I just don't get these people who are abused by their parents and keep supporting them. And keep returning for more abuse. "Thank you, Mom, may I have another?" You're NEVER going to earn their love. The old saying "you reap what you sew" is completely missing here. They keep sewing hate and abuse and keep reaping love and support.
I learned as a mom the more you push the more they run the other way. Smh
true
You think?? Seriously, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.
@@Claudia-lq3ns actually it's not about what takes who to learn what. It's about the journey in general. And no child -even if they are identical can be brought up the same. Secondly some kids you actually can push while other nope. And that's that
@@Claudia-lq3ns and second of all, you looks like your a child anyways so why waste my time. Smh
@@TrulyAGhost Miss I’m glad you as a mother. Btw I’m not one but still grateful that you discovered what is wrong and right with your child and is trying to fix it
Story 2, it amazes me how women ALWAYS get rescued no matter how disgusting they are!!!
Story 1. OP did the right thing. He was a self- made man. No bad family needed.
Putting stress on a child going through school and expecting perfect grades causes early burnout and resentment towards those who constantly expect their children to perform perfectly in all areas of school curriculum.
The punishments for getting a lower grade is even crazier! I mean it’s hard enough for kids today without parents being emotionally abusive!
I had a younger sister who was the “golden child” who got great grades. The difference was that I had to start working and paying rent from the age of 9 years old. I did gardening for 20 yards. I had 3 paper routes at a time from 12 to 14 when I started working as a cook in restaurants. I became a nurse. My parents gave me an old car dad had been driving, she got a new car and never had to work, including chores. She still thinks everyone owes her a living and won’t speak to me and trashes me to my friends. The parents paid for her to go to 4 years of college. I paid for trade school for myself. The best part is that I have a spouse for almost 40years and no one will put up with her for very long. She actually tried to get my husband to leave me because “it’s not fair” that I have a spouse for life.
@@sailorathena17 Q
Stress litrall interferes with forming long term memories, which is why school suddenly becem so much easier when he was out from under them
I was pressured by both my parents and all 4 grandparents. I truly hated school and couldn't wait to get away from my family.
At age 16 I had the equivalent of an Associate's degree in veterinary sciences , got myself a job , got emancipated and moved out. Haven't spoken to any of them since. So yeah , pressure your kids and they're going to resent the people who are pressuring them
allowing a mean person stay with you for any reason when you have kids. IS WRONG. think of all the damage you are doing to your kids. this person is doing this to themselves. send her home. let them settle what they are going to do. but don't let them mess up your kids.
I agree. They are true AHs.
They both were mean
The Guy from story one needs to write his will so the family gets nothing. Leave it to stray cats, or homeless kids to have a place to live after being kicked out to have a place to live where they can get their high school diploma. Or a scholarship for someone Who graduated mid class rank but is going to collage.
I am also Asian and unfortunately i suffered very much like OP = my older brother was naturally talented straight A+, school captain, etc... i am being compared to him constantly.
I can tell you it took its toll on me and that i will never be good enough for them. However it did help me grow a spine and ignore criticism 😔
My friend is Thai and moved to the USA when she was young (under 5yo) with her parents. If she got an A- or lower, her mom would scatter uncooked rice on the floor in front of a wall and make her kneel on it with her face against the wall for 1-4 hours, depending on how bad the grade was. Pushing your kids that hard will often lead to mental health and/or substance abuse issues, as well as resentment.
Yeah that’s just abuse, not even remotely parenting, it’s bullying and abuse
I know people say ‘it’s different bla’ because ‘bla bla harder times bla bla cultural differences’ but let’s be real , a kid only knows the life they see from, they don’t know when mom or dad’s behaviour is wrong all the time, worse of all, they have to take it regardless
Be a better parent, if treating an adult like that would be abuse then a kid is just as much if not MORE
I’ve heard horror stories of how bad a parent my GRANDPA was to my dad. Final straw was slugging my dad in the face (fist, not open-hand slap) for grabbing the first piece of grilled chicken instead of letting my grandma have the first piece. He enlisted in the army the next day.
OP was raised by terrible parents due to their character and cultural stereotypes but in the end OP never stopped to their level. My father once told me he raised me as best he could and didn’t want to be the same as my grandpa. He learned how NOT to act as a parent from my grandpa. OP was the same, he chose to not be like his parents/family.
I would have been the kind of kid to make the momma do that f
u
c
k
i
n
g
s
h
i
t and then tell her, "If you ever act like such a narcissistic, power tripping, power hungry, and tyrannical t
w
a
t ever again, then your body is going to be scattered like that rice on the floor...your call". Thankfully, my female parental unit, flawed as she was as a human being, never was that cruel to myself in my life.
@@NeoRazgriz , did your dad confront your grandpa and beat the f
u
c
k out of him? He should have done that and said to him, "THAT was not just for the chicken, but for the years of abuse that you put me through", then told him afterwards, "If you ever retaliate in ANY way, shape, form, and/or function, by yourself, or through ANY other party, then what happened here today will pale in comparison to the next time that this happens to you", if I was feeling generous, otherwise, the body of your grandpa would never be found ever again...just let it be known that the local omnivorous/carnivorous wildlife would be getting a free meal that day.
@@NeoRazgriz If I was your dad I would've had to fight the urge to tell that grandpa that punching me was the last straw and that he has to sleep sometime.
that op going to the party just to expose their crap parents and family culture was a god level move, loved it.
I've never understood why parents get mad at c+ or c- ,my friend got D's throughout school and her parents got so happy cause she didn't fail lol
I graduated from school with b and parents was proud my sister a+ and didn't even treat us differently was an equal happiness honestly
Because your high school Gpa literally effects what you can study, collage you can get into , financial aid and more which has a direct impact on the rest of your life.
You don't magically start high school able to study long hours , comprehend new material quickly and ace subjects. The majority of the successful people started early and prepped for years taking extra classes , certifications ,and cramming advanced subjects to be able to place in the top 1% giving them the chance to do what they want.
@@wind5250 I get it but why get mad at YOUR CHILD like I get it.
but like they're learning why taking all the fun of it why not giving rewards like there's literally people who will disown upon seeing a bad grade, like life is about learning and you keep learning till you die.. but people like that suck all the fun of it and now what they have a successful child who literally don't have time for anything but hating their parents.
For pressuring them into getting a perfect grade to work in perfect high paying jobs to pay for their parents to live a comfortable life and work in a field that they have absolutely no love for and costing them higher than they asked for.
And in the way they are going to realize all of the sht they were put through is just to fulfill their parents fantasy and when they go and take a look back and see what their parents achieved it'll always the less or the bare minimum and nothing like what they are making their children do and go through. It's always the same old story of parents who pressure kids
@@wind5250 also sorry for the bad English, ESL! 🤷♀️
Yeah, for sure. I typically got A's & B's. One report card I got punished because I got one C. Whereas, the same reporting period, my younger brother got C's & D's and he was praised because he managed to not fail any classes.
Sure, that REALLY makes me want to try harder next semester.
I wouldn’t be excited with a D if it’s my kid but I wouldn’t be too hard on them either. Id encourage them to do better on the next quiz or test. It’s because I’d want my kid to succeed by doing their very best they can do for God first and foremost.
I finished High school at the age of fourteen and headed straight to uni. I couldn't interact or socialise with my peers as they were all young adults. By seventeen I completed my first PhD and headed of from England to work in the US.
Working in the middle of nowhere with others like me, socially inept, quiet, solitary and insulated was my life for three years. I returned to the same conditions but closer to home. I began to realise that others had made every decision for me for as long as I could remember. I also realised that people were right, I was a freak. A genius? Yes, but still a freak of nature.
I slowly began to take control of my life, my first independent decision was that I would never make such insane demands on any child of mine. A decision I honoured.
Let your children find their own path, allow them to explore, succeed, fail, cry, celebrate and live. They are not mini-me's, they do not carry your hopes and dreams. Their successes are their own. A parent is a support network, cheerleading squad, safety net, shoulder to cry on and human shield if ever required. Of course we should celebrate every success, every milestone and every step in life but we celebrate with them, not for ourselves.
There is enough pressure on young people without insane parents adding to the stress. Try asking, listening and helping...so much more healthy and productive than demanding, coercing and bullying.
I respect your story.
Being “gifted” doesn’t mean it comes natural to succeed in life, in fact gifted kids have more needs to succeed than average kids
It’s like everyone else is building a cottage with life to work with while your building a mansion, this is why a lot of gifted kids end up taking the long way around to success.
If your kid is THAT smart and gifted , as a parent you will need to support them more than most kids to find there potential
I briefly met this guy in the army, but what happened afterwards is incredible. His father abandoned him and his mother before he was born, and his grandparents (mothers' parents) went back to work to provide for him. His mother worked too but died when he was 10. Never knew his father's parents, but he was raised well and with love. His grandfather went back to work as a trashman, his grandmother tried to teach again but no one wanted to rehire her. He enlisted when he was 18 and tried to give them his sign on bonus, they both refused and told him to save it for his education.
He served for eight years, until he lost the lower part of his leg to an IED in Iraq. They offered to let him come live with them again, they did not put a time limit on him living there. Meanwhile, he learned about some kind of investing and started using some of his money before his injury. When his grandfather got cancer, he paid for his treatments in cash, and later as the treatments didn't work for his pain medication.
His grandmother tried to give him all of his grandfather's money, saying she would go to some old folk's place. She lived with him until her death last year.
In his 500k house taken care of by a live in nurse when he wasn't there.
After her funeral an old crackhead looking man came up to him and said he was his father and that he owed him for being born. The "father" then demanded half of his money and wanted the son to buy him a house. It took 6 of us to restrain him from seriously injuring his father, and we told that old asshole that if he didn't leave, we'd call the cops on him. He looked very confused as to why his son didn't think he owed him anything.
Honestly this felt like a Steven He skit in real life
I always looked at the grde my Sons got in the effort & behavior section of their report cards. One of my Sons was in the gifted program te other had an I.E.P, was in the special needs program and learning disabilities. I believe that my way of addressing this was best. After all doing the best they could while being well behaved is a win!
Yep. If they are doing their best and behaving themselves, then that is literally all you can ask of them!
Praising them for getting top grades, if they don't even have to work for them, is NOTHING. "Way to go! You did the easy thing! WOOOOT!" But if they have to WORK for those grades, and put in all the effort, and bring home a B or even a C, then you say, "You worked so hard! You studied and really put in the effort! Go, you!"
School is supposed to teach the material, yes, but out in "the real world," it's not "What happened in the year 1066?" that matters. What matters is PUTTING IN THE EFFORT on your job. You may be working a manufacturing line, where you don't even USE your brain, but the bosses will still notice who is putting in the EFFORT and who is not. School is about teaching kids HOW TO WORK. That's literally why schools were created, in the first place. People who wanted their children to learn how to THINK, and how to KNOW stuff hired private tutors.
@@AuntLoopy123 exactly that was really all mattered to me. That if they were putting foŕth the effort.
@@AuntLoopy123 my son that had learning disabilities went to Jr College and then took the EMT course and now has a good job in a very large city. I will admit I was concerned about him for a time. I am lucky. Both of my Sons are going to be fine. In todays society with few resources and the cost of education life is harder for the middle class than it was when I was younger. Good luck to US all.
It's hard to hear stories of kids suffering at the hands of their parents. It's also hard to hear when a family won't sincerely apologize and mend their differences. Life is too precious to terrorize each other.
OP's wife is sacrificing her marriage, the emotional safety of her children, and her family's financial future for a woman incapable of loving her. OP needs to give her the choice between her mom and him and their family. And don't let the MIL divorce her husband because he's financially responsible for her. Send all the bills to him, and let him deal with them.
Both OP and his wife need to grow a spine and either throw mother out right now and send her back home OR FORCE to have a divorce and throw her out later
But throw her out should be the goal!
"But we can't just throw her out and have to support her" HELL NO!
You don't have to support satan!
Honestly I agree
👏👏👏
First story; OP did right. Parental abuse both active and negligence is very bad.
I understand OP a lot. That was exactly how I was treated. I turned out very successful, and now I am a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant working towards Directorship and National.
last one; JUST TAKE THE KIDS AND LEAVE. Make her realize its her mother or her family. Love does not mean taking abuse from anyone.
Story 1: The mom died of stress. Just like the pandemic isolation caused stress to many people, getting your social life butchered by getting publicly shamed will do the same amount of damage.
I went no contact with my mom when she refused to apologize for stepping on my wife's veil. In just three months from not talking to her, she went from partial grey hairs to a full head of gray and whites.
Well, when your mother is Queen of the Zeal Kingdom, and your father was an equally evil King, and they literally tried to sacrifice your older sister to a planet eating, and replicating, parasite that demanded worship and sacrifice, I say that you did the right thing in going no contact with her.
I just hope she get the forgiveness she seeks
@@travelblazer07she did. She sought no forgiveness and got none
We’re not Asian and neither one of them went to high school, both quit in the 8th grade, I’ve always struggled with, even basic math, I was great in all my other subjects, I always got D’s in math, other than that, the rest of my grades were A’s I had actually gotten a free ride to San Diego State University, my parents wouldn’t sign the forms because I was a minor. I lost my scholarship because of it. My parents said with only B’s I didn’t deserve the scholarship, I left home as soon as I graduated from high school, I was 17 when I left home. They wanted me to go to a jr college close to home so I could go to school and work my 3 jobs to support them and my brothers. I was done with them, I became a Funeral Director/ Embalmer
And I suspect you would gladly help them out with your professional services if need be.
That's good (You became a Funeral Director/ Embalmer). So, eventually, you will still take care of your parents.
@@ridgewalker5718 I couldn’t embalm my mom or dad because my mom died in California and I wasn’t licensed to do it in California and my stepmom had my dad cremated before my brother’s or I could get to Arizona I wasn’t licensed in Arizona either., I lived in Indiana when both my parents passed away. I was in the embalming room while they were prepping my mom though. I was licensed in Indiana, Kentucky and here in Missouri, I’m retired now.
@@vangildermichael1767 I couldn’t embalm my mom or dad, I wasn’t licensed in California where my mom lived but I was in the embalming room while they were embalming her and my stepmom had my dad cremated before my brothers and I could get to Arizona, I lived in Indiana at the time.
I mean.... Does that really require a degree or just hands on experience? I'm really confused here. Seems like something you could work your way up to instead of punishing yourself financially for. But maybe I'm just clueless here
I married into a Chinese family and I'm glad to say my in laws weren't this bad to husband and in fact supported him emotionally.
I love to hear how underdogs come out to be successful in one way or another
Story 1: Not only did OP do everything right but he made sure his parents and brother couldn't ride use his fame, wealth, or new reputation as a wealthy man to look good after putting their action out for their family and guest was a good move before he cut all ties with them
But in the end, the real Karma came when his mother was in the hospital in her last days wanting to reach out to OP for forgiveness to alleviate the guilt of her past sins.
The father will also now be alone or living with his golden child either reliving the part he played in aiding his wife's actions in tormenting OP or regretting his actions knowing his turn will soon be next.
Personally one would claim that the actions OP's parents took toward him were just a part of how things are done in Asian culture with the parents pushing their children past their normal limits as a way of preparing them for the cruelty of the world he will soon live in and how their education will benefit them in life even at the cost of them having emotional damage ranging from depression to feeling guilty for not trying hard enough.
However, while this story ended well for OP becoming a better man despite being thrown out of his home after being abused in the ways told it reminded him he was a survivor who will never have to suffer his parents or brother using him as their emotional punching bag ever again.
But in the end, some stories on Reddit involving Asian parents who pushed their children too far with studying to the point it broke them when they got a failing grade didn't turn out to end well.
The best revenge is living your best life.
The parents in the first story killed the normal family love. When the mother died the love was already gone.
As a mom, I just want my kids to do good as they can do. Long as it's not an F I'm good. As long as they are safe and happy I'm good. 😊😊😊
real life skills = success, its not evem hard anymore in this world of opportunities & information
@@Mr.Reddito ok. first of all i am honored that you replied to my comment. and secondly, YOU ARE 10000% CORRECT!!!!Success is what you chose to be happy doing. and it dont matter how long it takes you to get there. crawl first.. then you will eventully be able to walk and even run to that finish line. but never EVER stop trying to reach your goals no matter what!!!!!!
Never got any pressure on grades from my parents. I wish they had been a bit more demanding.
Wow!!
They left a school age child home alone and went to China.
Story 1: if they’re as old as my grandparents call them, “ yellow belly curs” they’ll know
As a parent I just don't understand how you could treat your child like that....I used to tell my kids I didn't care if they wanted to be a garbage man so long as they were doing what made them happy....
Story 2: He needs to tell his wife that what her mother did to her (allowing the father to abuse her) is no different than what she is allowing her mother to do to her own children. She needs to make a choice; her kids or her mother.
Who needs parents like any of them😠😠😠😱😱😱😱
Geeze that last OP and his wife have no spines. Tell her to shut up or get out already! Remind her who's helping her when her husband has all the means to do so but chooses not to!
Here we go again: Best revenge is a massive success!
Op, at the engagement party should have told the whole family he was thrown out. He didn't just leave, but was thrown out.
Sad, but sounded like it was the healthiest thing to do for him and don't feel bad for people that choose to be that way
I know the feeling. Sometimes, no matter how good u are or improvements u have made, it's never enough.
Nobody asks to be born, but we are all someone's children. May we find strength, despite our parents' weaknesses.
IDK if op is going to read this. But congratulations on your success and your wealth. But I hope you find someone to share your life with. And you create your own family. And the best revenge you can have in your family is to be a great partner to your significant other. And to be a great father. And even if you don't end up with someone you can always adopt. Because I think you make a terrific dad. And just in my opinion
Story 1: OP became incarnation of karma.
Story 2: Wife is a doormat and husband should have tossed MIL instead and all three are awful parents as the last thing in all their minds is their children.
Why would they let her stay in there home. SMH.
Story 2: It sounds like the husband of the MIL is scheming to get a life insurance payout by refusing to provide suitable medical care in the hope that it will be considered natural causes even though he is helping it along.
That's a bit of a stretch.
Story 1: Who'd want to go on a family vacation with a toxic family? Stress equals bad health and less focus. You succeeded in spite of them, they can't stand this, their precious image. I wouldn't have dressed like a slob but I'd have corrected them on every lie and how I'd pay for nothing for the wedding trip. They didn't mean it? So why did they keep doing it for years?
Story 2: Why turn your world upside down for an ungrateful, racist selfish woman? Set a time before you throw MIL out.
In story 1, he forced them to see that they aren't as high and mighty as their raging narcissism had lead them to be. And that his success was in spite of their parenting, not because of it.
Never belittle a child, that child will grow up with a very bad and low self-esteem and will resent you and will plan a very nasty revenge against you.
Jokes on them by disowning him you just made him a MC 😂
I’ve heard horror stories of how bad a parent my GRANDPA was to my dad. Final straw was slugging my dad in the face (fist, not open-hand slap) for grabbing the first piece of grilled chicken instead of letting my grandma have the first piece. He enlisted in the army the next day.
OP was raised by terrible parents due to their character and cultural stereotypes but in the end OP never stopped to their level. My father once told me he raised me as best he could and didn’t want to be the same as my grandpa. He learned how NOT to act as a parent from my grandpa. OP was the same, he chose to not be like his parents/family.
Dream come true to watch a bad parent die with their last breath
calling out your name ...lol yeah i still need therapy ,decades of
horrible abuse don't go away that easily
While I understand on a personal level the tension between him and his mother, I'm once again grateful that my dad was in my corner. I did fairly well in high school and what little college I had before marriage. Even though I really no longer have a relationship with my mother, personally I would have gone to the hospital. Remember, forgiveness is as much or more for you than it is for the offender. I'm in no way saying that what happened should be ignored, and I realize that any parent/child bridge is burned to cinders, but...a final farewell may have been a good thing. On the other hand, I do realize that there would be the risk of the rest of the family (father and brother) trying to get their claws back into you, so I respect your decision. I think what hurts me the most, is the fact that my brother is gone and we really loved each other, that that facet of the story hit me a little hard.
Had similar experience. My parents tried to convince me that I was mildly retarded and school wasn't for me. They kicked me out at 17. Had to join military to put a roof over my head.
I graduated medical school and became diplomat in Internal Medicine in the collage of physicians.
The entire time I was in undergraduate school I got all A grades with the exception of one B+. My parents told me I was either lying about my grades or cheating.
Over the years my parents continue to suffer greatly due to !medical gross negligence. At one point, just for money, a doctor removed a lens from my mothers eyes, and put the wrong synthetic lens into her eye. One physician literally castrated my dad! Now he can't produce testosterone. There was no reason for the castration!
One thing after another my parents are dismantled by a corrupt medical community. I tried to help dozens of times but each time my parents refused the help! A big part of my practice is consulta
It's the way they just expect Op to fail. Like, there's nothing worse that you could do for a child in that situation than to straight up have no faith in them and just always expect failure then get angry when, surprise surprise, they fail. Maybe if they actually took time to help Op, their grades would have been better, but no. They expected failure, treated them like a failure, and punished them for being basically exactly what they were taught to be.
The parents got major karma and he was in the right to do what he did at the party. They were pretentious and they didn't deserve anything from him. He broke them just like they tried to do to him in his school years. He came out on top and had every right to laugh in their face.
I have seen a few friends who lived thru this. It saddened me as I was not a model student,but my parents accepted me for who I was back then. Wow. Unbearable parents.
Excellent story of revenge. Horrible parents who try to take their thunder
Get rid of her kick her out send her back to her husband you don't need her why are you why do you keep doing it you kick her out so she's more likely to get help if you kick her out
You don't need school to be successful, you can't study for talent. But school can help in certain ways for the future. The family in this story absolutely disgusting
Glad you have free time away from them!!!
I did the same thing. Stayed away till peace came back into my life.
Sound like the brother who excelled in school focuses on book smarts and didn't develop the social skills needed to be successful
Well done OP glad you showed them up so happy for you....
Story #2; It couldn't be me because my mom if she was like that she would be entirely on her own. I would've let her husband take care of her and blocked her calls. Karma is a trip
Had a lot of stress put on me as child in school I didn’t get good enough grades why couldn’t I be like my brothers and cousins I hated it
I can relate to the OP in the first story. The last six years of my mothers life I did not speak to anyone in my family she disowned me for being myself and not what she wanted me to be. Even in her waning days I refused to visit or even take her call. The first time I seen my family was when my Brother called saying my dad wanted me to come to the house because they needed to discuss withdrawing life-support from my mother. I attended but told them it’s not my place to participate in that decision because I wanted to see her death. Since then I have reconciled with my father and the rest of the family and he is obscenely apologetic at the treatment and abuse I suffered at my mothers hand growing up.
It’s been almost a year now and I’m thankful to have my father and my younger siblings back and not have to deal with that conceited bitch ever again. I would go shit on her grave if she wasn’t buried in the national cemetery, as a veteran myself I have too much respect for her neighbors to defile her grave.
Righteous anger is the best Karma.
I would love to zone out through my Mom's "pep talks," but she makes sure to regularly ask questions to keep me engaged in her tearing me down. She's a narcissist, at least IMO.
I got rid of an abusive 'brother' and years before that I managed to make my mom rebel against my alco-step'father'. The last story's 'mother' is to go to hell, there's no way a sociopath can learn or change - he/she will only keep destroying everything around. The wife is an example of 'Goodness is a weakness'. What about being good to her husband, kids, pets, the neighbours, and the society (anti-model pattern is a pattern as any of them, and they keep recurring)!? Stockholm syndrome is a degenerating factor. The wife has no clue she's in it. It's effed-up and without a clear-cut wisdom there's only sorrow for them to come.
Chinese story is so true he did the right thing
I suffered certain forms of abuse from my own mother and I also did not visit her one last time while she was dying. That part of the video really hurt to see.
Ignore them you do not need them on your life great news you are doing well...
Had an asian friend who was so stressed in HS that he thought he had ulcers and was always saying I am sorry, like I am sorry for saying I am sorry. One parent was a nurse and another a principal. He went to university but dropped after one quarter and joined the coast guard. I hope he is happy today. I don't know what they expected from him at university but not everybody is going to be a doctor. Although I can guarantee that everybody can get a university degree because all it really takes is money and taking the right classes. For some reason companies I have worked for are so shallow that they equate brains with a degree. It is too bad but I always trained up the hyper smart ones who should not be doing grunt work. Maybe they can use their skills and find a better employer. My sister is normal intelligence and was lucky she only had one teacher of mine that compared her to me but that upset her a lot. My parents never put her down and that might have been because dad had dyslexia. I was yelled at for having to repeat a test more than once because of refusing to memorize silly years in history. I was told at that time, 4th grade, that I would be going to university so I took study seriously and memorized stupid stuff like how many pounds of wool in a bag. I unfortunately did call my sister stupid but that was just the huge age gap and not really wanting to be around her until age 12 when kids can reason. I am sorry I gave her a complex because I am not sure she realizes she is normal. Other parents would say to their kids why can't you be like her. That isn't really fair to them or me. I was the odd duck and they never became friends.
wait is there gonna be a part two tommarrow? i want to know what happens next to that awful MIL and op and his family
honestly i cant image what Op and the family are going through with that awful MIL
Well, I see the OP managed to put his parents and brother in their place.
The Gall of demanding money after the way he was abused as a kid it is disgusting
My mom was/is the same way with me. I'm Native American and she's white. I'm adopted btw. My mom went as far as to contact the college SHE signed me up for, picked my classes and got the dean of the college to be my student advisor! Needless to say I was expelled. It didn't end well. Lol she finally realized she couldn't dictate my life anymore.
We are still distant, living half way across the U.S. from each other. I visit every 5-8 yrs and call every 3 or 4 months. I love her, but can't bear to be with her for very long. It's too stressful for me plus I have a heart condition and bad anxiety now. My anxiety is so bad I end up having muscle spasms all over my body, it kinda looks like I'm having a seizure. So I stay away from my mom. I wish things were better between us, I hope and pray for changes with us.
As the classic saying goes, "You reap what you sow."
I UNDERSTAND THE OP WHOSE
PARENTS KICKED HIM OUT
BCAUSE THEY TREATED HIM
BADLY +WERE ONLY GOOD
TO HIS BROTHER .
What you do is put a lock on your refrigerator. She eats when you say she can eat. water only. And if anybody complains tell them they're welcome to come there and feed her. Perhaps they could even make room in their home for her.
1st Op was kicked out of his parents house for failing in school. So, he completed school under all that stress. Went to college without the support of his parents. Brother just goes to shame his brother. Finished college and made a Successful life. I don't blame him for cutting his family out his life.
He has money. His parents were wrong but they were still right.
Story 1: The OP could have reported the parents for kicking him out illegally.
Not if he is of legal age.
@@tomprosser8958 If he is still in high school when being kicked out it is still illegal and even if not he is legally entitled to 30 days notice since it is his place of residence.
good for him. teat the family like they taught him to treat them.
Yea, my dad started putting pressure on me when he stopped trick driving. I did great because no one was paying attention. Not everyone is like this, but leaving me alone actually did better for me.
Wow sue the father for the medical costs you paid and send mom back to him until the divorce or put her in a tent outside.
In a backhanded sort of way, the parents did him a favour. He decided to make something of his life, and succeeded.
He might not have needed the abuse to find his path.
In my opinion the parents in the 1st post should consider themselves lucky because there is a True Crime Daily episode about a dad who worked in a tool & die shop and was hell bent on his kids becoming a doctor, lawyer, or some high end job and the stress caused the daughter to make the parents become what George Orwell would call a "Unperson".
I guess I need to bite the bullet and subscribe!
Your stories, writing and production values are *the best*!!
I'll be joining your team soon.
Sometimes kids get bad grades due to teachers not teaching actually!
What do you call a doctor who finished last in his class? Answer: Doctor. Strive to do the best that you can, without worrying about the final grade, and you'll be just fine.
I'm glad he was successful, but even though his brother had been a bullying jerk to him, it was uncouth to show him up at his engagement party. I wish OP had thrown a big party and invited the relatives to it to let them know how he was doing. If he wanted to be petty, he could have not invited his parents and brother, then announced to everyone why he hadn't invited them.
I have Asian friend she's Japanese and she told me this was so common in her household and in many Asian households that the parents expect their kids to do good in school they only accept all A's and B's nothing below a c and whenever she didn't get all straight A's her parents would criticize her for not trying she had low self-esteem because of the pressure.
My mother was a piano teacher with a private class for about 25 years, from the early 60s to the late 80s. One year she had 2 students
that were asian, approximatly 6 and 8 years old. At one point their mother told my mom that she was to hit them when they made
mistakes, something my mon would never do no matter what. After the Christmas holidays that year they were told my mother
had no more room for them and they had to find another teacher.
Your mother should have reported the asian mother to the police or CPS.
honestly the next story should be this but instead he calls the police
Story #1: I would have cut them off. I would have changed my phone number. I would have left them and enjoyed my life.
Yep so dang true lol so true, im dyslexic of an Japanese's raised family. I was looked down to and did all the labor work of my faily business and and never paid got $5 allowance a week only. they got easy $100 plus a week they paid the gas, insurance, car note, take money plus allowance. they only had passing grades. but I was the same grades as them but I had bad grammar because I was dyslexic. but if asked me verbally I will Ace it all. as I grew up, I became the black sheep of the family and treated like the crap on the bottom of there shoes. so when I turn 18. I join the navy became a corpsman I became a phlebotomist then a scrub tech, getting my radiology and physical therapy goal will be PA before retirement or 20 years. i met my goals in 9 years I started got mt civilian PA and started my cross over to be a PA IN THE NAVY. I return home, with triplets 2 girls one boy then second son. im not married. thought they be proud all they did is complain, they need to take my sons away im so un educated, navy schooling is a sham. my kids are 8 and 7 atm. they thought i came home to beg for job, i need extra money to get buy SMH. said no i make more then them, told kids visit is over we going to the navy lodge/officers barracks lets go. They have a pool will be fun and left. the asked the kids what i do. "doctor" they said. phone blew up to come back. i never answered the phone still have not. i retired 3 years ago. i work for civilian hospital. family came in. saw them refuse service, appoint new doc, its a relative. was only sprain ankle. I still spell like crap. they now ganged up on me. flat out said. you treat me like crap, said will take my sons, not care of the girls. demanded i slave for them. why should forget or care who you/they are. 12 years pass since I walked out. had my first meal with them with my kids, m0m is 72 grand parents are 91 and 98. so much lost time. told them flat out, lie, beg talk of past or ask for crap or cash for siblings i will leave forever. will not come to funeral it be over. they started to talk grandpa screamed to then said shut up. or he will move out so he can meet his grand daughter and her kids.... we come weekly for dinner, sister demanded a home and car. told her to bug off. never speak to me again. brother is worse off but treated with respect. he lost his wife had one girl he provides for with 2 jobs. I do her birthdays and there vacation and ma and grand parents will die soon0nly request was not to cold places they hurt to much. i agree. lost my mom 3 years later, then grandma, grandpa moved in he lived to be 102. asked me to visit sister dont provide for her is all asking, my sister died 2 weeks ago. never saw her.
What a horrible life you live best thing that happened to you for them to kick you out good luck in the future best away from these nightmares
How old was he when he was left alone in the house? I think the minimum age for that is sixteen? Isn't that a form of child abuse in itself?
Some parents are very cruel and Greedy
It sounds like you’re in the US. Call your local area agency on aging/adult protective services & keep calling--report her as an elder in danger.
Unfortunately, depending on the state, if she refuses services there’s nothing anyone can do. But get the ball rolling.
Look into in home health care, it will be out of pocket but it will give your
family a break, it could be $24 to $30+ an hour. See if any of her friends could come for a couple hours or maybe people from your church. You’ll have to explain how she’s being to give them a heads up.
See if your wife can get guardianship ship over her--about $3k in our area--you can then make decisions for her. Call the police & report what her husband did & also report him to APS.
I went through this with our mom, I was here practically 24/7 about 56 days. My sibling didn’t come because they were busy & lacked funds. Mom had a few friends that were able to come sit with her. She was finally put on hospice & passed.
Please, please, please OP do NOT abandon your wife & children (this is what you’re doing by being gone so long/often) they need you know more than ever. Suck it up, man up & be the strong leader they need. Remember that you may be in your mil’s position yourself one day. Your family needs you more than ever
I think at that "celebration" which was the last time he ever saw his family he was TESTING them. I think he was giving them ONE FINAL CHANCE to genuinely apologize and make amends to him. Had they been GENUINE and admitted immediately how wrong it was to treat him the way they had and had they fully taken responsibility then I think he would have reconciled with them and would have had some form of relationship with them even if not as close as it might have been had he had a better childhood, and he would have been with his mother to honor her final request to see him as she was dying.
I think failing that final test of his was the final straw.