If Half-Life 2 was Written by a Bot

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
  • Gordon Freeman continues his murderous ramp- I mean, journey.
    Support us on Patreon! / deadwatergaming
    Buy our merch! teespring.com/...
    Watch the Previous 'Written by a Bot' here: • If Half-Life was Writt...
    Original Fan-Fiction by Fat Corgi Guy and Botnik Predictive Writer: goo.gl/4hkc9E
    Timbleweebs' TH-cam Channel: / @timbleweebs
    Mahogany's TH-cam Channel: / themahoganycrafter
    Narration by MahoganyCrafter: goo.gl/kxxVja
    This is an emulation of "Full-Life: Consequences" by ICTON;
    all credit for the style, narration, idea, etc. goes to him.
    Check out the original Full Life Consequences: goo.gl/hl89hJ
    Contact us:
    Twitter: / deadwatermedia
    Music:
    Spongebob OST
    Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass - Spanish Flea
    Littlebigplanet OST
    God Bless!
    Deadwater logo and channel banner by Papa Shlup
    / adamclarkart1

ความคิดเห็น • 1.9K

  • @FatCorgiFilms
    @FatCorgiFilms 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4192

    You've done it again! Damn that was good, I loved the Oblivion joke and the inter-dimensional sewers especially.

    • @-nathun8507
      @-nathun8507 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      FatCorgiFilms moarrrrr

    • @ufohno5941
      @ufohno5941 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      FatCorgiFilms you should make a portal and portal two version of this! or like the script. (i dont actually know how you do this maybe ill visit your channel.

    • @Mirage1_
      @Mirage1_ 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      *REAPEAT MISJUDGED WORSE DESTRUCTION*

    • @GoofballPaul
      @GoofballPaul 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      You should do episode 1 & 2, and half life 1's expansions too. :D

    • @dontwantgun3620
      @dontwantgun3620 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      XD

  • @drunkenpotato143
    @drunkenpotato143 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1267

    "Gordon thinks about his father"
    "Gordon's father : you're not rock n roll icon from liverpool, you are dog"
    *_-Best father's quote-_*

    • @georgeryan8267
      @georgeryan8267 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Is that an actual quote

    • @axethannanth
      @axethannanth 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Father's best quote.

    • @SiIIy_
      @SiIIy_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The Hat Headcrab duh

    • @thecpg980
      @thecpg980 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@georgeryan8267 y e s

    • @Banan2288
      @Banan2288 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      It's from "The Magic of Belle Isle" with Morgan Freeman as a cast

  • @Stolanis
    @Stolanis 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1297

    'The aliens still did not entirely appreciate Freeman' might be my favourite way of saying 'they were trying to kill him'. It's such a wonderfully polite and understated way of putting it.

    • @somebody136
      @somebody136 3 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      repeat misjudged worst destruction.

    • @llanfairpwlgwyngyll7331
      @llanfairpwlgwyngyll7331 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      he also visually reverses it, so the aliens who are trying to kill him are the ones who actually like him

    • @ClearAndDumb
      @ClearAndDumb ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@llanfairpwlgwyngyll7331 Because they were masochist.

  • @mistermustachiogmc1256
    @mistermustachiogmc1256 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2476

    “The Combine soldiers all die because Gordon finds them very opportune for clearing minefields.”
    I think that somebody needs to use this phrase. It is simply amazing.

    • @coffeetext
      @coffeetext 6 ปีที่แล้ว +169

      MisterMustachio GMC
      This line's way too true to not be used. I've used Combine Soldier corpses to clear many a minefield in my day.

    • @Dubswitcher
      @Dubswitcher 6 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      I was going to comment the same thing. This robot is genious.

    • @LonesomeKrow
      @LonesomeKrow 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Good phrase, I hope to find it in a farming almanac

    • @omen5407
      @omen5407 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      We need it in some hl2 mod

    • @luisp.3788
      @luisp.3788 5 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      The best part is how it simply has no logic behind it. They just die because Gordon finds them useful. I love that.

  • @Dillon4599
    @Dillon4599 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2180

    This is like when you were 3 and played with action figures and just made up a story as you went along.

    • @demo-server4091
      @demo-server4091 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      wait kids used to do that?

    • @benaming2358
      @benaming2358 3 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      @@demo-server4091 You.....Didn't?

    • @demo-server4091
      @demo-server4091 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@benaming2358 no?

    • @hecunt3633
      @hecunt3633 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      @@demo-server4091 Wait, you don't anymore?
      I thought everyone did this, even in adulthood

    • @actualrgescnt5337
      @actualrgescnt5337 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Noone likes Gordon.
      Except Alyx.

  • @DimentiosLoyalest
    @DimentiosLoyalest 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2655

    "Kleiner's extremely excellent teleporter that was bad." had me in tears.

    • @EthanM2P
      @EthanM2P 6 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      2:06

    • @tylerhassey5210
      @tylerhassey5210 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Jorry rewatch that part

    • @throatychunk
      @throatychunk 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      same.

    • @Crrrow
      @Crrrow 6 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      *Accurate name for Kleiners Patent on teleportation technology*

    • @Horny_Fruit_Flies
      @Horny_Fruit_Flies 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Magnusson's Magnificent Microwave Casserole.

  • @theo9654
    @theo9654 5 ปีที่แล้ว +902

    "the aliens did not entirely like freeman but some did because they were masochists"
    Yes

    • @fabanano6158
      @fabanano6158 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Yup

    • @0h899
      @0h899 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Mhm

    • @somebody136
      @somebody136 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      repeat misjudged worst destruction.

    • @Its-pronounced-ay-zaer-e
      @Its-pronounced-ay-zaer-e 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      father grigori died with zombies because gordon continues past the burning

    • @moistbread2913
      @moistbread2913 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      He found a train and overzealously rides the unsophisticated gondola to Dr Kliener

  • @wasdwazd
    @wasdwazd 6 ปีที่แล้ว +565

    Kleiner's Extremely Excellent Teleporter That Was Bad™

  • @toaster9922
    @toaster9922 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1935

    “I think you deliberately misunderstand me” sounds like something the Gman would actually say.

    • @2xsaiko
      @2xsaiko 4 ปีที่แล้ว +123

      It's actually one of Mossman's lines, but yeah it does

    • @tf2keller398
      @tf2keller398 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @Toaster I like that your profile picture is the Evil Toaster (I forgot the exact name) in the Sink. Do you have the power supply to blow up the Mojave (again)?

    • @BrickBusterVideo647
      @BrickBusterVideo647 3 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      No it would actually be
      “I *inhales* think you *makes weird noise* delibbbberartleyyyy *inhales again* misunderstand me

    • @rileyreed7690
      @rileyreed7690 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      More like GLaDOS

    • @BrickBusterVideo647
      @BrickBusterVideo647 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@rileyreed7690 yeah GLaDOS is like wait did you just throw that Aperture science thing we don’t know what it does into an Aperture science intelligence safety incinerator

  • @grovetender4713
    @grovetender4713 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1117

    "which collapses scientists"
    I mean, he's not _wrong..._

    • @somebody136
      @somebody136 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      repeat misjudged worst destruction.

    • @Quixoria
      @Quixoria 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It either knocks them out or it kills them soooo... yeah I guess

    • @danthebunnie_origins1146
      @danthebunnie_origins1146 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@Quixoria have you seen the sharp end of it? That's the part that collapses scientists.

  • @thatonejanitor8715
    @thatonejanitor8715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1259

    "Gordon is sad because demons arent aliens"
    Gordon: Demon slaying isnt *MY* job.

    • @tiagofigueiredo5659
      @tiagofigueiredo5659 4 ปีที่แล้ว +102

      just call the doom guy

    • @kindofhuman8147
      @kindofhuman8147 4 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      It’s not MY job, it’s his job.
      *Rip and Tear faintly in the background*

    • @st4rsh1pz
      @st4rsh1pz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@kindofhuman8147 Gordon looks behind him and sees a figure looking intensely at the imp.

    • @RayTheGamer05
      @RayTheGamer05 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      I am shaking my headcrab at this comment

    • @moosetwin9023
      @moosetwin9023 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      who're you gonna call

  • @TheRadar758
    @TheRadar758 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2368

    "Gordon likes destruction."
    "Gordon decides there is more killing to do."
    "Gordon is a murderer."
    I love that bot's version of Freeman is perfect in line with Ross Scott's.

    • @CubicApocalypse128
      @CubicApocalypse128 5 ปีที่แล้ว +248

      That was not murder. That was totally self-defense. Just because he had a submachine gun doesn't change anything. It just lets him defend more efficiently.

    • @heyitsgalaxycreeper9955
      @heyitsgalaxycreeper9955 5 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      "Gordon mimes to Alx he kills people with grenades"

    • @aliensguy4291
      @aliensguy4291 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Repeat misjudged worse destruction

    • @Priceluked
      @Priceluked 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @Maximal's Personal Profile Guards? Do you mean HECU soldiers sent to kill him and his co-workers?

    • @Priceluked
      @Priceluked 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Maximal's Personal Profile Oh yeah I forgot there were actual guards you kill.

  • @malsypright
    @malsypright 4 ปีที่แล้ว +370

    "Gordon does X because Y"
    makes up at least half of the story and I love it.

    • @wta1518
      @wta1518 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Demons are not aliens and Gordon was sad.

    • @3ofSpades
      @3ofSpades 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Barney was also beyond words branching towards entanglement.

    • @3ofSpades
      @3ofSpades 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@wta1518 the aliens still did not entirely appreciate Freeman, but some did because they were masochists.

    • @wta1518
      @wta1518 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@3ofSpades Manhacks fly at Gordon but OK

    • @3ofSpades
      @3ofSpades 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@wta1518 there was also resistance member “hiding” in a piece of concrete pipe named Alyx Vance.

  • @TheEtheru
    @TheEtheru 6 ปีที่แล้ว +963

    My favorite part is how Gordon's weapon of choice appears to be headcrabs.

    • @NYCFIGHTBACKROOMS
      @NYCFIGHTBACKROOMS 5 ปีที่แล้ว +143

      You forget about his Crowbar Angel Manipulater which collapses scientists.

    • @emeraldnickel
      @emeraldnickel 4 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      what about the gravity gun that bends benefactors into oblivion?

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@NYCFIGHTBACKROOMS His Crowbar Angel Manipulator *Aside whispers* which collapses scientists.

    • @kertchu
      @kertchu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      SMH (shake my headcrab)

  • @maxwelldanger1929
    @maxwelldanger1929 5 ปีที่แล้ว +433

    The deadpan delivery makes this so much better

  • @VimyGlide
    @VimyGlide 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1190

    "Manhacks fly at Gordon but okay."
    pretty much

    • @doom-guy6716
      @doom-guy6716 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeah I get that now stop copying the lines

    • @rmstitanica3204
      @rmstitanica3204 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      @@doom-guy6716 no

    • @ethanlivemere1162
      @ethanlivemere1162 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Basically how everyone feels when manhacks attack them

    • @zelithfang2365
      @zelithfang2365 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@doom-guy6716 ik this comment is a year old but.. idk if you realize comments like that get quite popular on videos at times.

    • @vadimc2144
      @vadimc2144 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sums up recent years of my life.

  • @EmperorIdiot
    @EmperorIdiot 6 ปีที่แล้ว +324

    *breen collapses and explodes*
    That's how I want to die

  • @toaster9922
    @toaster9922 6 ปีที่แล้ว +830

    2017: elon musk says artificial intelligence will rule humanity
    2018: _MANHACKS ARE MEAN_

    • @sunsetthekitsune6765
      @sunsetthekitsune6765 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Toaster I love it

    • @AnonYmous-dh2zt
      @AnonYmous-dh2zt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      2019:Toasters are humanity's overlords

    • @danielmaher1654
      @danielmaher1654 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      manhacks fly at Gordon *but okay*

    • @zoltanz288
      @zoltanz288 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      well elon isnt wrong. i mean the average person is a lot dumber than the bot making this.

    • @clementpoon120
      @clementpoon120 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      2024: chatbots that can actually make up a coherent story

  • @Azoonaloc13
    @Azoonaloc13 4 ปีที่แล้ว +429

    "yes my favourite part of Half Life 2 was also when the resistance made Freeman commit war crimes behind the citadel."

    • @JodiGarrity
      @JodiGarrity 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Oh yes I remember when I was a kid first played half life when I broke the Geneva convention.

    • @S_auce
      @S_auce 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Ah Id hop into a game of half life and not leave it until I've committed I try to go for 2.3 but 5 is usually average

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@JodiGarrity it’s Half Life. The Black Mesa incident broke Geneva.

    • @nov_icee
      @nov_icee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      tbf the combine has committed more than gordon ever will so it is completely normal for gordon to do the same

  • @timothymckane6362
    @timothymckane6362 6 ปีที่แล้ว +780

    "Gordon shook his headcrab."
    That's not nice to treat Lamar like that, Gordon.

    • @randominternettoaster7859
      @randominternettoaster7859 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Timothy McKane I think Lamar is going to kill him

    • @thegoldenplague-mask5438
      @thegoldenplague-mask5438 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Timothy McKane
      *H E A D C R A B* *S H A K I N G*
      *I N T E N S I F I E S*

    • @samuraijackoff5354
      @samuraijackoff5354 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      You’re not an animal person.

    • @kristianburger6329
      @kristianburger6329 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I would have shook that headcrab harder than that, if you know wat I mean ;)

    • @pancakej
      @pancakej 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      What the f... man? ;-;

  • @poyo1415
    @poyo1415 5 ปีที่แล้ว +372

    *Narrator:* *"G-MAN STEPS OUT OF A BUILDING."*
    *G-Man:* **Walks out of a port-a-pottie**

    • @CodenameBolts
      @CodenameBolts 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Port-a-potties are technically buildings though.

    • @thecpg980
      @thecpg980 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      he doesnt even walk the door just goes bye bye

    • @ashley-182
      @ashley-182 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@thecpg980 It just falls

    • @chaoticchild519
      @chaoticchild519 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      T H E R E C A N B E O N L Y O N E

    • @ashley-182
      @ashley-182 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@chaoticchild519 “I think you *d e l i b e r a t e l y* misunderstand me”

  • @bagandtag4391
    @bagandtag4391 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1052

    "Demons are not aliens and Gordon is sad."
    TOP 10 Saddest Anime Moments.

  • @justsomeguyontheinternet3822
    @justsomeguyontheinternet3822 5 ปีที่แล้ว +346

    "Gordon thought alyx was futile, but did not kill anyone because he was thinking about his father."
    Morgan freeman:
    *You are not some rock n roll icon from liverpool, you're a dog*

    • @jacobredfield1386
      @jacobredfield1386 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      *YOU'RE* *

    • @justsomeguyontheinternet3822
      @justsomeguyontheinternet3822 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@jacobredfield1386 Oh thanks i forgot your and you're are different back in, i was stoopid in the old days

    • @lambdacore1711
      @lambdacore1711 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Best father quote ever

    • @corporalregicide5248
      @corporalregicide5248 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      we're is that quote from? I legit can't find it anywhere

    • @thecpg980
      @thecpg980 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@corporalregicide5248 y e s

  • @rosieleaverton
    @rosieleaverton 3 ปีที่แล้ว +231

    Now I know why it's called DOG.
    D: Education
    O: Manipulator
    G: Buddy
    Makes total sense!

    • @zoltanz288
      @zoltanz288 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      my god, you are right! how did we not see it before!? it was there all along!

    • @randomintrovertedspider7510
      @randomintrovertedspider7510 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      eDucation manipulatOr buddyG. Yep, makes perfect sense now!

    • @E5rael
      @E5rael 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Makes perfect sense. Buddy spelled with a G is right up among the likes of Henry spelled with a C.

    • @nothingnowhere2358
      @nothingnowhere2358 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I don't know why but I found this obscenely funny 😂😂 Thank you

    • @daleksaan935
      @daleksaan935 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Diploma
      Official
      Giver

  • @Darkmage1293
    @Darkmage1293 6 ปีที่แล้ว +270

    Seeing Morgan Freeman as Gordon Freeman's Dad....10/10 best video ever.

  • @nachobeloqui3107
    @nachobeloqui3107 5 ปีที่แล้ว +529

    Kleiner's
    Extremely
    Excellent
    Teleporter
    That
    Was
    Bad
    The K.E.E.T.T.W.B

    • @idiotsimulator8055
      @idiotsimulator8055 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Better name than 'R.U.S.S.E.L.S.'

    • @blax140
      @blax140 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      dope name

    • @Klonoa1488
      @Klonoa1488 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Good one bread

    • @pixelthedragon4272
      @pixelthedragon4272 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@idiotsimulator8055 Really Unusual Silver Sticks Eloquently Lifts Stuff

    • @influenza3736
      @influenza3736 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      *Kliener

  • @wolfganggk9487
    @wolfganggk9487 6 ปีที่แล้ว +837

    This video feels like a gmod machinima made in 2008

    • @ricedealer56
      @ricedealer56 6 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      rip kitty0706

    • @AlyphRat
      @AlyphRat 6 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      I know right? we need more videos written by a bots, these are hillarious.

    • @8cb724
      @8cb724 6 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      time for full life consequences

    • @TheHunt890
      @TheHunt890 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      but in 1080p not 240p

    • @GlitchedAI
      @GlitchedAI 6 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I miss those days, we really don't get as much great machinima these days ):

  • @gunfury4342
    @gunfury4342 4 ปีที่แล้ว +148

    "Ah, Dr.Freeman. You've got something big like qualified degrees and blood."- Breen

  • @CityofButterfly
    @CityofButterfly 6 ปีที่แล้ว +769

    "He knocks on the door and is greeted by the fascinating demons which dwell in the basement. Demons are not aliens and Gordon is sad."
    I honestly have no idea what part of the Half-Life story that's supposed to be

    • @projectkepleren
      @projectkepleren 6 ปีที่แล้ว +119

      ithink its suppose to be when you go to nova prospekt and pretty much wasted your time

    • @lugbzurg8987
      @lugbzurg8987 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      The potato things, maybe?

    • @dantevivas6646
      @dantevivas6646 6 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Half-Life 3

    • @flatbreadjk
      @flatbreadjk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      100th like

    • @erismurexis966
      @erismurexis966 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      It got mixed up with Doom

  • @robertcornhole5197
    @robertcornhole5197 4 ปีที่แล้ว +200

    Gordon is waiting for Breen's speech to end.
    Breen is talking about *that cat.*

    • @Shaun_Jones
      @Shaun_Jones 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Gordon is bored and smacks Breen with headcrabs.
      Breen collapses and explodes.

    • @crispylizard8295
      @crispylizard8295 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      What Cat?

    • @limewater4074
      @limewater4074 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I still have nightmares about that cat...

    • @my_restless_dream
      @my_restless_dream 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@Shaun_Jones as the explosion rocks the combine buildings, Freeman hears a familiar voice...

    • @Its-pronounced-ay-zaer-e
      @Its-pronounced-ay-zaer-e 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@my_restless_dream “Well done, Patient 17. You have no idea what you are doing what I could never do alone.”

  • @dantesdiscoinfernolol
    @dantesdiscoinfernolol 5 ปีที่แล้ว +304

    "That bends benefactors into *Oblivion* "
    [Drops NPC into Oblivion]

  • @drunkchey9739
    @drunkchey9739 6 ปีที่แล้ว +120

    I like how the “bot” kept throwing the story to the end back to the beginning and back to the end

  • @ViatorsPath
    @ViatorsPath 5 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    "the mannhacks fly at gordon
    but okay"
    bruh i was dead

  • @AtrociousAmbition
    @AtrociousAmbition 4 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    "The aliens did not entirely appreciate Freeman, but some did because they were masochists."
    It all makes sense now.

  • @brody2199
    @brody2199 6 ปีที่แล้ว +126

    Hmmm, yes, I wonder what the rooftops are hiding today?

    • @bnlish
      @bnlish 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The daily combine gunship

    • @bnlish
      @bnlish 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Or the daily combine assault

    • @Mitthradata
      @Mitthradata 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      *Gordon nervously running after murdering mossman

  • @HansonJ
    @HansonJ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +141

    0:33 That transition was beautiful.

    • @daleksaan935
      @daleksaan935 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Fun fact, it is actually probably a real on-the-fly transition. Source is impressive.

    • @TheDizzyRabbit
      @TheDizzyRabbit 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Make a dupe with freeman connected to a camera a boom

  • @blueshit199
    @blueshit199 6 ปีที่แล้ว +933

    If Epistle 3 was written by a bot?

    • @Jancias
      @Jancias 6 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      BlueShit199 Thats not done yet , please wait 5 more years for some random guy to make that (the guy who made the bot thing is doing Episodes now)

    • @christiangrey3645
      @christiangrey3645 6 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      We already have it, it's called Hunt Down the Freeman.

    • @christiangrey3645
      @christiangrey3645 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      That too, my friend.

    • @blueshit199
      @blueshit199 6 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      YOU FUCKED UP MY FACE

    • @AlyphRat
      @AlyphRat 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "..."

  • @lambda2657
    @lambda2657 5 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    ''resistance member hiding in a piece of concrete pipe called alyx"
    that had me in tears lmao

    • @124Nightwing
      @124Nightwing 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      “Gordon thought Alyx was futile.”

    • @zuzka9061
      @zuzka9061 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@124Nightwing "But did not kill anyone because he was thinking about his father."

    • @walterclements1050
      @walterclements1050 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@zuzka9061 "You are not some rock 'n' roll icon from Liverpool, you're a dog."

    • @calcutt4
      @calcutt4 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      But is the resistance member or the concrete pipe called Alyx?

    • @lambda2657
      @lambda2657 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@calcutt4 it's obviously the pipe

  • @darthvaderbutwayshittier7054
    @darthvaderbutwayshittier7054 6 ปีที่แล้ว +151

    "Gordon is a murderer and doesn't like everyone" an accurate summary.

  • @r10101
    @r10101 6 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    I would very willingly play a half life 2 mod of this because this storyline is touching the feeling making me happy.

  • @awsomegra
    @awsomegra 6 ปีที่แล้ว +436

    still a better gman impression than hunt for the freeman.

    • @SuperDav1995
      @SuperDav1995 6 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Awesomegra black messsa

    • @HQ_Default
      @HQ_Default 6 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      Besides mispronouncing black mesa, I didn't think he was that bad. Most of the other voice actors however... ugh.

    • @Valsteir
      @Valsteir 6 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Mitchell voice actor was pretty good in my opinion. The rest of the game is like MGSV forcefuly raped Half-Life 2 while youtubers make comments about it.

    • @HQ_Default
      @HQ_Default 6 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Aleister V Mitchell's voice actor did a pretty good performance when he was talking more casually. When he was trying to do the stoic badass thing, it didn't turn out so well.

    • @Valsteir
      @Valsteir 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Agreed, like everything else in the game, it tried too hard.

  • @TheColossalMixel
    @TheColossalMixel 5 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    So the reason why Half-Life 3 isn’t out is because the bot is still thinking of the plot?

    • @alexolas1246
      @alexolas1246 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      that or, people are still struggling to interpret what it yielded

    • @zoltanz288
      @zoltanz288 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      no its cuz valve dont care.

  • @Rogue_Huntress
    @Rogue_Huntress 6 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    Half-Life 2: Episode 3.5 - Gordan Freeman And A Picture of What Looked to Be to a Very Small Pile of Murders.

    • @Zonic3451
      @Zonic3451 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      large*

    • @lightlytoastedrye
      @lightlytoastedrye 6 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      City 17 snarled with a wave of magically energized wind. The sky outside was a great black ceiling, which was full of Manhacks. The only sounds drifting from Doctor Kleiner's lab were the disdainful shrieks of Lamarr. Murder: it was something Gordon Freeman thought was very good.

    • @D4NIELN00B
      @D4NIELN00B 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Gordon freeman had to be a good day at work and the other hand in hand to be a good day at work for a while to get the most important thing of the best way to be a good day.

    • @pugloife1001
      @pugloife1001 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Dani Lazors wtf dud

    • @queenofnarnia1011
      @queenofnarnia1011 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE

  • @peterpeterpeter4328
    @peterpeterpeter4328 4 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    If Half-Life Alyx was written by a bot.

  • @ServantOfSatania
    @ServantOfSatania 6 ปีที่แล้ว +170

    "If Hunt Down The Freeman was Written by a Bot" when?

    • @shingshongshamalama
      @shingshongshamalama 6 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Redundant.

    • @thech1knlord
      @thech1knlord 6 ปีที่แล้ว +93

      It is already written by a bot.

    • @camperboii7004
      @camperboii7004 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      The game would have improved tenfold

    • @iota515
      @iota515 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      A video like that was already made

  • @Ribbons0121R121
    @Ribbons0121R121 6 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    i would say a funny moment but every moment is a funny moment.

  • @shingshongshamalama
    @shingshongshamalama 6 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    "He found a train and overzealously rides the unsophisticated gondola to Doctor Kliener."
    Brilliant. Perfect. Magnificent. Print it.

  • @soupmayo2529
    @soupmayo2529 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    “Ouch brain trauma”
    “Guess I’ll drive a car and murder zombies and Gregory dies because Gordon likes *trains.* also black Mesa and whatnot”
    “Alex is Futile, but he shall not kill because of his father”
    “Oh yeah and combine did stuff”
    “Kleiner likes Moss”
    “Crowbar angel manipulator which cripples scientists”
    “Gordon likes *explosions* “
    *d o g*
    “Gordon is sad because demons”
    “Manhacks are become okay”
    “Gravity gun go brrt”
    “Gordon is bored so he smacks Breen and everybody dies.”

  • @TheRogueWolf
    @TheRogueWolf 6 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    We have GOT to make "rides the unsophisticated gondola" into a euphemism for something.

    • @remyrichardson8614
      @remyrichardson8614 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Jennie was hooked on drugs, so she was riding the unsophisticated gondola.

    • @theoverpreparerlamenters3r436
      @theoverpreparerlamenters3r436 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@remyrichardson8614 John killed two people for no reason, so he was riding the unsophisticated gondola.
      Meaning: doing something most of a society considers evil or otherwise bad.

    • @applechild2606
      @applechild2606 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      They were a flat earther so basically they were riding the unsophisticated gondola.

  • @alentad5262
    @alentad5262 6 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    2:02 I thought he was going to give him a hug

  • @NamyNam1170
    @NamyNam1170 6 ปีที่แล้ว +184

    Better than Hunt Down The Freeman/10

  • @60framespersoup
    @60framespersoup 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    "Gordon decides there is more killing to do"
    A basic summary of the Half-Life series

  • @flapjackslashjack8624
    @flapjackslashjack8624 6 ปีที่แล้ว +385

    Worth the wait

    • @Mothbean
      @Mothbean 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      After 9 years in development, hopefully it was worth the wait

    • @clonkette6301
      @clonkette6301 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Weight*

    • @snappy1622
      @snappy1622 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That’s tf2 not half life

  • @vennece
    @vennece 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    2:24 Crowbar angel manipulator
    its actually a good weapon name

    • @evietron5000
      @evietron5000 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      (which collapses scientists)

  • @Pumpkyria
    @Pumpkyria 6 ปีที่แล้ว +172

    Goodness! Goodbye Dad!

  • @todesziege
    @todesziege 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    "Gordon is waiting for Breen's speech to end" sums up so much of HL2.

  • @darthvaderbutwayshittier7054
    @darthvaderbutwayshittier7054 6 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    I refuse to accept that a bot wrote this, it's just too good.

  • @buddeman27
    @buddeman27 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    5:18 "I'm disappointed in you right now."

  • @dragan2324
    @dragan2324 6 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    Crowbar angel manipulator (which collapses scientists) is the pinnacle of the english language. It's good to have the closure that all these years of a language being developed can finally come to an end because it has peaked. This is what we were looking for the whole time, looking to express.

    • @nopers4117
      @nopers4117 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It sounds like a name of an anime weapon.

  • @thesketchhog
    @thesketchhog 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    1:28
    Missed Opportunity To Put A JPG Of The HL2 Chapter (Entanglement)

  • @SirHorseLegs
    @SirHorseLegs 6 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    Getting the nostalgia from the Full Life Consequences feeling.

  • @ljharnish
    @ljharnish 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    The “Time for questioning” reminds me of “Time for testing” from If Portal 2 Was Written By A Bot

  •  6 ปีที่แล้ว +247

    I cant even begin to understand how this script is written.

    • @jclark4047
      @jclark4047 6 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Poorly.

    • @slidylizard223
      @slidylizard223 6 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      João Serra what's so special about a predictive keyboard? Literally every iPhone has one

    • @thegoldensealion9463
      @thegoldensealion9463 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I have a water and juice in my room and right now it is my favourite thing to do with my life. The united state has also said the only thing is to remove a cancerous of water and water from a woman. You have a good time when I say I don't want it either way more then I get you kicked out of the office.

    • @johnes4882
      @johnes4882 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      This game has the same gameplay that has the game you need it in and it has to the back you have a chance and it’s free it gets a very fun and fun way for you tools for a good time with the new ones to get the free ones you have free free coins for a coin or something to unlock.

    • @QwertyUiop-wh4pc
      @QwertyUiop-wh4pc 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "The new one of those people who have a very large selection process your payment information for all you want it. But when you are looking to make a great time to get it to be in touch with your new account for that. The best in show that we should take care products in some way."

  • @ezekielbaskerville2710
    @ezekielbaskerville2710 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    This Gordon Freeman: "Gordon is a murderer and doesn't like everyone."
    Freeman's Mind: "Gordon is a murderer and doesn't like anyone."
    Get your facts straight, guys...

  • @taytay6255
    @taytay6255 6 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    Gordon likes destruction so he enters a large waste chamber *where Breen lives.*
    Thank you bot, for that.

    • @cheatsenabled1662
      @cheatsenabled1662 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Actually, Breen lives there, not Freeman.

    • @jacklander4480
      @jacklander4480 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I see you....

    • @taytay6255
      @taytay6255 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      CheatsEnabled I'll fix that, thanks for pointing it out!

    • @cheatsenabled1662
      @cheatsenabled1662 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Nice, thanks for making me feel useful

    • @user-uo8ny1kj4c
      @user-uo8ny1kj4c 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      weren't you born in a toilet OP?

  • @JetFalcon710
    @JetFalcon710 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    "Praise the train"
    -An Overzealous Gordon Freeman
    Edit: 1:01 He's so happy :D

    • @JetFalcon710
      @JetFalcon710 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is from four years ago already? Amazing

  • @basileczajkowski3236
    @basileczajkowski3236 6 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    The combine die because Gordon finds them very opportune for clearing the minefield...
    Gold

  • @Jackomojo
    @Jackomojo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    3:15 I love the idea that the citidel just has a huge door made from wood

  • @darthvaderbutwayshittier7054
    @darthvaderbutwayshittier7054 6 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Aliens still did not appriciate Freeman, but some did because they were masochists.

  • @halowarrior1000
    @halowarrior1000 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    "Where the dimensions intersect: through the underground sewers."

  • @KamiJoJo
    @KamiJoJo 6 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    Full Life Consequences 4K

    • @MJuegaES
      @MJuegaES 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This is what I imagine Mitchell Shepard's nightmares are like.

  • @oneverymadlad1124
    @oneverymadlad1124 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    “Gordon is waiting for Breen’s speech to end” is me during dark energy

  • @seibmoz
    @seibmoz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    Haha ha excellent!

    • @GabeMiller2SpoonsOfDoom
      @GabeMiller2SpoonsOfDoom 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      seibmoz jfc how are you here

    • @weezards1014
      @weezards1014 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      seibmoz my last name is Freeman uhhhh... Do I now need to be a crazy crowbar gravity gun wielding person now?

  • @WasaboDuckBoy
    @WasaboDuckBoy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    2:28
    woah dude
    careful with those Half-Life 3 spoilers

  • @IXINOSIS
    @IXINOSIS 6 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    If DOOM was written by a bot
    The game is set on an magical UAC facility being invaded by the forces of dominoes.
    The game starts as an unreal trooper boomstick man who is chained to an luigi and aware forever in a UAC fairytale basement on Italy. He is released from his girlfriend and gains his desktop, the man, the monitor dominoes slayer who killed pizza to its knees and couldn't be killed, requiring an elaborate plan to capture, and seal him. Making his way across the Italian surface, he enters a meatball factory building that houses a salamander. After re-aligning the salamander, he hopes to learn the source of the dominoes invasion and revenge strain himself to stop it.
    Dr. Papa John is the antagonist of the game, apparently responsible for enabling dominoes invasion, swayed by the promises of NFL gameday outfit. The dominoes slayer mows down pizzas like Versailles and his grass. The dominoes slayer is met by Colonel Sanders, who says he will give him the chicken to stop Dr. Papa John and dominoes from destroying Italy.

    • @TheDoomMaster
      @TheDoomMaster 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Why can't this be the actual plot for Doom?

    • @martinhanks3378
      @martinhanks3378 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Someone could make that into a Doom map

    • @randominternettoaster7859
      @randominternettoaster7859 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Xenopath yus

    • @heavyguy4660
      @heavyguy4660 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I hate it when I’m a boomstick man and get chained to a Luigi.

    • @IXINOSIS
      @IXINOSIS 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      FOLLOW UP and remake.
      Doomdude: If DOOM was written by a bot. The year is 2145, the humans have perfected a way of teleporting stuff so that causes issues with demons because they don't like humans or technology. Dr. Crazyeye, aka the big mean bill science guy, makes deal with demons and says: "If you help me, I'll buy you all ice cream" and the demons were happily European about it. When Scientists do the portal test, the demons throw a party. Except humans weren't invited. Every human dies and then the military show up angry at demons for huge mess. The military all dies, except for one. Doomdude was arguing his way through hordes of somber space demons from Uranus on the UAC base. Doomdude mowed demons down like grass that cuts itself. However, Doomdude got hungry and ordered dominoes pizza.
      The pizza seemed normal, although it had an odd taste to it that Doomdude found quite otherworldly. Just then the pizza grew arms and pulled out a rocket launcher at shot at Doomdudes face. Doomdude then ate the Pizza demon's face off and said: "I love the taste of a demon face in the morning". Dr. Crazyeye appears on the tv and taunted Doomdude with Seinfeld jokes and said: "I ate your rabbit like a fat chick eats cake". Doomdude was angry, so angry he could rip and tear a plastic bag of chips apart. He was also angry because dr. Crazy eyes didn't get him a Christmas gift. Doomdude began to pick up demons and use them similar bats to beat the other demons to death.
      The demons tried to file a lawsuit against Doomdude, but couldn't because the justice system Is prejudice towards demons. After Doomdude killed all of the demons, Dr. Crazyeye was the only threat standing. The final fight was a close one for both sides, however, Dr. Crazyeye was in his final demon form and ready to kill Doomdude with easy mode on. Doomdude forgets half of his weapons and the other half was empty. Although, he pulls out a photo of a naked Hilary Clinton and Dr. Crazyeye face melts and he explodes into demonic marshmallows. Doomdude happily joy walks off into the sunset.

  • @foxxy-3748
    @foxxy-3748 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    “Qualified Degrees and Blood” would be a good movie tagline about Gordon.

  • @MasterofMuppets02
    @MasterofMuppets02 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    "Ah Dr.Freeman you got something bigger like qualifying degrees and blood".... *E M O T I O N A L C R I T*

  • @folfex1971
    @folfex1971 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    0:39 repeat misjudged worst destruction

  • @geordanlemon
    @geordanlemon 6 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    The portal city... Black Mesa. Accurate

  • @AngeloftheAether
    @AngeloftheAether ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I would just like to say that my entire knowledge of half life comes from this and a Google translate edition. Thank you for your contribution of this video to the internet.

  • @ihaveschizophreniaandunreg1760
    @ihaveschizophreniaandunreg1760 6 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    I want Crowbar Friend too :(

  • @lukaza1261
    @lukaza1261 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "Gordon mimics for Alyxa to kill the combine soldiers with hand grenade"
    Gordon: aggressively punches combine doll with a probably live grenade

  • @MartianManHunter2258
    @MartianManHunter2258 6 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Still better than Hunt Down the Freeman

  • @natahndolar2142
    @natahndolar2142 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Why was the story told out of order and some of the events didn’t even happen

  • @coffeetext
    @coffeetext 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    When you realize that Freeman's Mind exists, this makes way too much sense.

  • @puddingfell5288
    @puddingfell5288 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    0:26 "Gordon shook his headcrab." Yes. Give me one now so I can do the same.

  • @tokestorgaard7823
    @tokestorgaard7823 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    4:20
    *w h a t cat?*

    • @bread64
      @bread64 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thatcat

  • @Stefanutsu
    @Stefanutsu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    1:54 When you don't do homework. Do your homework kids, safety first. OR ELSE GORDON WILL COME AND SHOOT U !

  • @easysqweasy
    @easysqweasy 6 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Emotional crit

  • @LandonVR
    @LandonVR 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    3:46 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @smegmuhfondue3021
    @smegmuhfondue3021 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    "You are not some rock 'n' roll icon from Liverpool,you're a dog"
    gordon's father - 2018

  • @stym_6971
    @stym_6971 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    "Manhacks fly at Gordon but okay"
    Solid gold.

  • @teeniepeenie3148
    @teeniepeenie3148 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences
    -John Freeman

  • @navilluscire2567
    @navilluscire2567 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    3:55 Combine soldier: Wha happen?!

  • @crouton_s
    @crouton_s 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I want a full game where all of this actually happens

  • @peppermillers8361
    @peppermillers8361 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    So I guess Gordon got out of there and ended up in Ravaholm, initiating the plot that has tobe done in Full. Life. Consequences.

    • @FireFoxBancroft
      @FireFoxBancroft 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And the pants were dead.

    • @azurebookllet9216
      @azurebookllet9216 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      And now we also know why the next boss stepped on Gordon Freeman, killing him: he simply wanted to avenge his lil' bro, G-Man. Unlike him, he wasted no time talking, and so didn't get several direct hits on his body. That is, until John Freeman showed up, looked his weakness on the internet and shot a rocket at him.

  • @tamestingray401
    @tamestingray401 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    2:33 I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING OMG

  • @MistahFrezzer
    @MistahFrezzer 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    "Gordon won because he is a murderer and he likes no one."
    That sounds like the Gordon I know, or at east the Half Life 1 Version.

  • @BierBart12
    @BierBart12 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I can't believe he actually got Morgan Freeman to voice act Gordon Freeman's dad.

  • @declantecho1717
    @declantecho1717 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    “And mimes to Alex he kills people with grenades” For many months I had no clue what this meant and at first, thought I had a stroke.