i read draco malfoys memoir so you dont have to
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Tom: I actually *don't* like Harry Potter because I'm too cool
Also Tom: i slytherined griffindoringly to the audition
STOP
@@uncarley makes a video about Lady godiva
I think he was involved in the making of the whole thing, hence the illusion was shattered. The three Griffindorks had a higher networth, so it didn't matter that the illusion was shattered.
I like all of them but I understand that they're people, and it's unfair of me to expect them to be anything else than that... regardless of what their publicists would have us believe.
Sobbing, wheezing, spitting out my tea
Omg I am dead lmao
Tom Felton really lives his life like:
"I messed up? If only I was a true slytherin.."
i smoke weed... like a true slytherin... no griffindorks here
Chaos queen.
Hopefully after people realize how well Jennette McCurdy’s book did, they’ll actually write decent memoirs about their lives and not just dick, fish, and unnecessary name drops.
However, I need a Robert Pattinson menace memoir about twilight.
YES like just write a memoir about an actual theme in your life not just unhinged stories about nothing
@@uncarley I mean, I’m kind of obsessed with it because we get your videos about how unhinged they are and that’s ✨quality✨ content. But 100% lol give me substance
Robert Pattinson's memoir would just be like "I played a really creepy vampire and I can never escape please help me"
@@sentientplant9658 nah robert pattinsons memoir would be nuts like magical realism and it would also just be 300 pages of him making shit up.
@@dianeyoung8130 I'd read the shit out of that
Those bits about him being mean to Emma hurt even more when I remembered that she had a crush on him when she was a kid 😭
She what
@@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. she did lmaooo but they gor super close later and i believe are still very close friends to this day
@@AtomicKittenBaby im glad it has a wholesome end 😤
when I was about 9 or 10 I had a crush on a boy because I was told that when a boy is mean to you or teases you is because he likes you...... it was bullshit obviously.
maybe that's what she was told as well and thought 'oh he's being a dick, could it be because he likes me????' which if that was the case, I feel you sister 😢
I think they're fine now
i think it's even funnier to think that publishers didn't even *ask* him to add in harry potter stuff because he's famously still a huge fan of it
omg really??
@@uncarley i googled "tom felton obsessed with harry potter" and two buzzfeed compilation articles from 2018 and 2021 showed up lol
I follow him on insta and its almost all he posts about haha
i was going to comment this! hes definitely a fan of the franchise 😂 he posts and talks about potter bc he still really likes it
Or maybe it is the only franchise he’s known for. Maybe he posts about Harry Potter to stay relevant.
opened this convinced you were just going to read drarry fanfiction and was fully on board queen
omg i should have
me too
i was dissapointed
@@uncarley do it
The main 3 cast members of Harry Potter are kinda famously known for being surprisingly well-adjusted after spending 10 years of their lives as part of one of the biggest movie franchises in history. So it could’ve been interesting to hear Tom’s negative experience with that but I guess his publisher was more concerned with nostalgia baiting and qUiRkY names for things.
It seems like the main 3 were given the most attention and care as they were obviously main characters but also they wanted to make sure they didn’t devolve after the films ended and ruin their image. The other kid stars really floundered unfortunately, and only a couple still have film careers while the others seemed to struggle to land any roles. Still, a lot of them have taken on other projects away from film and seem to being doing relatively well.
@clubpenguinluvr4 I'm glad to learn Ron Weasley's child isn't in pieces.
i think radcliffe struggled with alcohol addiction but honestly yeah they are well adjusted (publicly) aren’t they?
@@celestialshannonyeah it's really a shame. I thought a lot of them were really talented, but they got picked because they happen to be right for the role of at the time, and that was that really.
@hisfinalgirlieI think it was mostly during the sixth
Taking how many times _Slytherin_ has been used as a pick-up line; yes, Slytherin is indeed The House of Porn.
NO
😆 lol
“You can call me Tom Riddle because I’d like to Slytherin to your Chamber of Secrets”
you just unlocked horrible memories from my youth 😭
Please keep reviewing autobiographies it's hilarious
im having SO MUCH FUN doing it
@@uncarley pleeeaaaseee could you read Alan Rickman’s memoirs next :’)
@@jayakhmad4422 Or Matthew Perrys 😍
@@uncarley this has to be a series i would watch all of it
Please keep doing this!!
“He’s not like other kids, because he loves carp” I’m literally crying
The way 11 year old Tom Felton predicted the Gringotts dragon before the book even came out. Iconic
I thought about the dragon as well 😂
love carley getting popular so we can have more hater representation in society. because i too will take every second finding something to hate.
so happy to represent my people (haters)
Someone un-ironically bragging about being on the cover of Carp Talk is literally the funniest thing
I hear you but if that happened to me, I would def brag about it too lol
Fun fact: Tom Felton's mum ran a domestic appliance shop in my own and every year she would put a picture of Draco in her window on halloween
that's actually really cute and sweet of his mom
This book is great to dissolve the 13yo in my brain who loved Tom Felton and thought he was perfect and sensitive and blablabla.
If it weren't for Harry Potter movies, he'd be on Tinder with several photos of him holding fish. And that makes me sad for my inside 13yo, she's heartbroken
Fave comment 🏆
12 year old me had a poster of him.. i actually kissed that poster every night lmao. i guess he's not as dreamy as she thought haha
yea totally. and what about his weird obsession over Harry Potter? I'm sorry but I can't stand him anymore ugh
I love the irony of Tom playing down his privilege as an adolescent and trying to come off more rough around the edges, when Draco was the exact opposite! And the way he treated young Emma is so sad when you think about the fact that she mentioned having a crush on him back then! At least he outgrew that phase, and they seem to be good friends now!
I just imagine him having his own fishing show and he constantly keeps making Harry Potter references as if he’s being held at gunpoint
Tom Felton is the guy on tinder with the profile pic holding a big fish.
Ok but the crap he went through as a CHILD just because of the character he was playing?? And a death threat?? That's messed up...
people are stupid
if yall want a good memoir from a harry potter actor actually, evanna lynchs is so good. its quite centered around her eating disorder, so big tw. but she writes so well.
thank you for this recommendation!!
It is absolutely incredible!! Instant 5 stars for me
Thank you! I just started reading it after seeing this comment and it's so well written... Captivating!
Your low-key freakout about the absurdity of human existence was so relatable tbh
every once in a while we gotta remember that existence is dumb
this is soo painful like i really feel bad for him because he seems like the only one who cannot let go why is his agent doing this to him let him go
You’re a lot more charitable toward him regarding all the excessive Harry Potter references. He’s quite literally made playing Draco Malfoy his personality these days.
I DIDNT KNOW THIS
i thought i was the only one who thought about this. we all love it when an actor is proud of the movies they've done, but damn the last harry potter movie was 12 years ago, and he still talks about it nonstop. it's getting kinda sad and cringe honestly
I do love how he still calls Jason Isaacs his father though lol. So cute! But yeah, Tom seems to be the only one still clinging onto his Harry Potter role, at least publicly. I hope he’s doing ok - this book didn’t lead me to believe he is actually ok.
@@misssteak1290 He hasn't done any good work recently. Which is sad because I genuinely think he's such a sweet and talented person.
@@sahanaashvin1573 he did his first theatre performance recently!
His editors just need to let him write the book he wanted to… a book about fish.
LOL
„slytherin is the house of porn addiction“ 💀💀 I CANNOT
i said what i said
…euh does Fanfiction addiction counts !?
@@SakiBlablabla fanfiction addiction is Ravenclaw LOL
it's kinda true 😅
I really love Tom, I truly do, but I would not be at all surprised if it was confirmed that no one asked him to add the “wizard-lingo". He's kind of obsessed with it and with being a Slytherin and hasn't let go (as seen on his social media), and tbh i love it. It's so funny to me, maybe a bit too much but it makes me laugh so you do you, man lmao
Carley reading All the Young Dudes is so satisfying
Was searching for this
Was looking for this comment 😂
it really is my marauders brain rot was screaming
fr😭😭😭
its actually rlly wild hearing his childhood stories. HP was a rlly good setup for escapism and I’m sure young Tom was just itching to go back to set after all that and pretend to have magic all day. like i wouldn’t be surprised if the whole referring to himself as draco, and to non-movie things as muggle things, etc. is genuinely how he thought abt his life back then.
This is actually so sad
petition for you to read the memoir of a celebrity named Richard so you can have an iconic series of reading every tom, dick, and harry's memoir so we don't have to
I don't know you, but I love how your mind works🤣🙌🏻
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
“beyond the wand” are you??? are you beyond the wand????? cause seems like you’re still in the wand mr felton
"The forbidden fruit, the devil's lettuce "
I screamed at this help 🤣🤣😂
I'm surprised he didn't shove "jazz cabbage" in there too
I'M HERE I'M HERE * BREATHLESS * I'M HERE
YOU MADE IT
@@uncarley now I'm questioning of it was worth to hear cause now I'm thinking if I'd get high with choking myself
So.. I was following Tom on Twitter since, like, 2012 and I’m not at all surprised. Playing Draco seemed like the only achievement he could ever talk about. It was quite sad to watch actually :( I liked how he used to play guitar, it was charming.
Shame he hasn’t gotten that many roles too
@@twilightdream I wonder why. Not for the lack of looks or talent
It's really weird, it's not exactly the only thing he's done. I mean, it's granted his biggest thing, but isn't he a musician with a band and stuff? I feel like he should promote that more than the Harry Potter stuff.
That fact that's he's worth 15 million dollars it's wild
@@PurpleMoonFlute actually, I started to respect him more recently
I actually really enjoyed his book. I liked the conversational tone of it, felt like you were sitting in a pub and just letting him tell stories, and I was constantly having to hide my grin behind the book in public cuz I found it quite funny.
i think if youre a harry potter person its the perfect blend of funny stories and a breezy read! just not personally my cup of tea but not bad!
reading a 500k fanfiction during a depressive episode is a whole ass mood
Congrats on 1M on the Prince Harry vid! So deserved
thank you!
our queen once again saving us money and emotional torment
always bestie
Being scared of teenagers as an adult, so relatable, I was scared of teenagers as a teenager, I was bullied of course, it's like my parents were shipping me off to prison to be brutalized every morning and berated me for being lazy when I cried and begged them to let me stay home. Teenagers are a huge problem and society hasn't figured out how to deal with them.
the way hp has been his whole personality for the past like 10 years i dont think it was a team choice LMAO
after your stellar review of harry‘s memoir i cannot wait to hear your thoughts on this, I feel like Tom has the potential to be just as unhinged as Harry 😅
he is but NOTHING is even close to the level of unhinged prince harry is
For a second I thought you were talking about Harry Potter (the character) LOL
@@caitlingill me too and I was like not another cash grab 🤦🏽♀️🤣
the fact that Prince Harry unknowingly helped Carly FINALLY after she’s been so underrated 😭bro
''stupid kids love little orphan wizard''- I DIED LMAOO. love you carley
every time Carley calls the Beatles a "niche, indie band, you wouldn't have heard of it" I pee my pants
there's been so much draco malfoy content on my tiktok for no reason, and at first it angered me but now i'm kinda happy because i'm coming prepared for this video
honestly same my algo thinks im thirsting after draco and i can assure you i am not
I assumed from the title this was about an in character Draco Malfoy "memoir" but the reality is somehow weirder.
god i wish
now THAT i would read
I’m reminded of the documentary series Alyson Stoner posted on children growing up in Hollywood and the immense mental damage it does and worse the lack of adult accountability
His life is so filled with potterheads, when he was on The Flash the story was circled around The Philosopher's Stone. LITERALLY! Like, the scriptwriters/story writers had zero originality for season 3 of The Flash just because Tom Felton's there for season 3.
I’ve heard the word “carp” more in the last 20 minutes than in my previous 30 years of life and weirdly enjoyed it
Carley is now the queen of TH-cam confirmed‼️ so glad the hottest person alive is getting the recognition she deserves! congrats on 1M views!
omg thank you bestie
Tbh out of the main actors I think Tom is the biggest ongoing HP stan
Never heard of a word Gryffindork in my life before, and I used to be a huge Potterhead, can't belive I found out about it this way lol
the english language is a beautiful thing
Never thought Tom Felton would basically write a whole book about fish 😂
“I may be clinically depressed but..at least I’m in the school spring play” THE WAY I RELATE TO THIS LMAOOOO
girl you get funnier & wittier with every video. TALENT
omg THANK YOU
Did I have a depressive episode last week where all I did was watch every uncarley video? Yes I did. Did it make me more depressed after running out of content? Yes. BUT NOW IVE BEEN BLESSED WITH ANOTHER UPLOAD 😭😭😭
omg thank you bestie! you've got this
Was honestly not expecting this to be a book about Carp, love that for him
"Ravenclaws drink hand sanitizer"
Ok, so I was a massive Harry Potter fan as a child/teen, and systematically sorted as a Ravenclaw (you better believe I took way too many quizzes aiming to determine that...). It's 2023 now and I'm a confirmed hypocondriac. I'm using so much hand sanitizer on a daily basis I may as well bathe in the stuff. When I tell you this sentence knocked the air clean out of my lungs. :D
(also loving this already. I know that it's not your most used format, but those one offs are so fun to watch! I feel like you get more space to get into things, which is neat)
Petition for Carley to do a review of the fan fiction she read. ( we all know which one it is👀)
Which one 🫣
Which one
@@sarahnoll9018 i feel like it's "all the young dudes"
@@ExAstrisScientia1701 looked it up i think youre right
Thanks😌 not tht im gnna read it ofc
@@ExAstrisScientia1701 wtfffff 188 chapters, no, I cannot do this to my last pieces of sanity😭😂😂
Him bullying Emma Watson is made so much worse by the fact she had a crush on him for most of the movies
That is sad why emma never do something anyway they are Friends now😢🎉
The fact that she looks like draco herself makes this so iconic
I've been binge watching all your videos ever since the prince harry memoir lmaoo
omg thank you!! if you have any celeb memoir recs plz let me know!
@@uncarley Matthew Perry’s memoir ! the real chandler !
@@uncarley Molly Shannon's memoir would be cool, listened to her talk about it on a podcast and it sounded interesting. She's lived through some pretty intense stuff, and apparently also has a story in there about how she and her friend snuck on a plane to New York by themselves when she was 13 and her friend was 11. So now I like to think she's sort of the OG Kevin McCallister. No idea if it's actually good though, but she is hilarious so I'm guessing it could be a fun read at least.
@@uncarley omg you should do Olivia Munn's memoir!! It's such a pick me girl book and I died laughing reading it. Also Lilly Collins' one is pretty bad
Watching you go through famous people memoirs has been a delight. There is something about memoirs that is SO unhinged I can't get enough of it. I'm reading one from a scriptwriter from Murder, She Wrote and it is so shockingly wholesome I can't believe I'm reading a memoir. I need to move on to some more chaos ones.
We appreciate uncarley for staying true to herself. We wish her all the best in her life.
thank you!
Completely unprepared for the whole carp content but loving it. Fish carping met gala. This is what the world needs more of.
One time, when I was in my early 20s, I was bullied by a gang of kids who couldn't have been more than about 11. I tried to be sassy at them and one of these small 11 year olds just scoffed and said "shut up, big nose" and I've literally never recovered from it. This happened in around 2010 and I still think about it daily.
I hate that I knew all about Tom and fishing because every summer there are Draco sightings around local lakes and fishing related events (of which there are many 🙄)
I feel like dedicatedly reading the entirety of a very long Harry Potter fanfic is the hallmark of a depressive episode. Should be in the DSM.
Literally came across your channel because of prince harry's memoir vid, i gagged, i screamed, i shookt, what a wild experience it was. you truly are one of god's strongest soldier for enduring that book's (among many others) content & taking it for the team. you're such a fun & witty speaker i really enjoy your vids. and you give me the urge to read more books, so THANK YOU.
I just will never get over my Draco Tom Felton obsession I just cannot no matter how cringe
thats your rights as a member of planet earth
Same I'm really trying to recover
It's ok to be cringe
we all went through it 😖 it’s okay to forgive yourself and forget
@@reeserocques THE PROBLEM IS IM STILL IN IT AND I DO NOT SEE A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL AHHHH😩
Honestly, Malfoy (the character) would’ve fit right in with the British royal family.
Didnt 'pureblood' like malfoys actually had a relation with royal family? Thats how they were so rich
you have my favorite book videos on youtube!! you deserve all the views you're getting. love you girlie, thanks for making my day when you upload.
omg bestie THANK YOU that is so kind
I genuinely did a spit take at the mention of “carp media”
I love how the review is the second plot in the video and the first plot is always about u
Hell yes! This has been on my TBR, and I would much prefer your commentary on the book!
I started Evanna Lynch's (Luna Lovegood) memoir. While trying not to perpetuate the eating disorder triggers when describing her struggles, she limited the details, which I get; it just fell flat for me. Did anyone else feel this way? According to Goodreads, my opinion is not the majority. The cover of her memoir was stunning! I'm here for another HP actor memoir!
the cover is sooo pretty! there are definitly more HP details in toms book! its not the best literature but a fun read!
I had to put down Evanna’s book just a quarter way through. The ED stuff was too heavy for me. I am recovered. I love her so much. Was sad I couldn’t finish it.
I feel like carley is not our little secret anymore :(
but so happy for u
😊 thank you bestie
I did actually laugh out loud when you read the part about "Carp Talk" magazine! Then when you said you weren't mentally prepared for how much he would talk about carp, oh my god I am still laughing. Its so random. Sorry for laughing at the Carp anglers, but it's funny.
A lot of people are mentioning that it’s sad tom felton hasnt moved on from his harry potter days on his instagram but tbh why would he. Most of his followers are hp fans so ofc hes going to do a ton of spon con about it and play it up. Thats how he probably makes a lot of his money.
Also I literally hear your voice and the way you phrase things in my head all the time about whatever I’m doing at the moment 😂 (that’s a good thing bc you’re an ICON)
omg praying for you
tom felton being a disgrace to the entire house of slytherin
I listened to this on Audible and enjoyed it,I thought it was funny, but this video has me cackling because you aren’t wrong 😂
books can be both good AND fun to laugh at and that is a truth i live my life by
@@uncarley Carp tho
I live for this series ...lemme grab a drink and my cat
omg yess
Tom: I didn't give two CARPS about Harry Potter!!!
feel like im being transported back to my fifth grade self when I had a massive crush on draco malfoy/tom felton and I haven't even started the video LOL so excited esp with how unhinged tom felton is
truly an unhinged man
Im sorry you're going thru it but just know that your videos are the only source of happiness and comfort in my exam filled life rn 🙏🏼
carley doing god's work by giving me not only hilarious memoir recaps but also style and decor inspiration. keep on girlboss
me, 3 weeks from playing draco in a very potter musical: "ah yes, this is going to be so useful"
I’m a year late, but I can’t believe that’s an actual memoir. I love the I Love Lucy poster in the background. Great video as always!
you’re one of my fav comfort channels
love your content and sense of humour infinitely, keep up the good work, girlboss
thank you for saying that! it really warms my heart
This man fishes
I actually met him a year and a half ago at the stage door of the play he was in! It was actually terrifying seeing all the rabid fans who wanted to meet him. He was pretty chill tho, just a bit awkward.
I met him earlier this year. He was so sweet actually
The way this upload just made my day- ❤
Discovered you like two days ago and went down a rabbit hole of just bingeing all your videos, and just as I run out I find there's a new upload 😭🥰 truly iconic timing
omg im so glad! welcome to the uncarley army
not being a hp fan means that draco malfoy is lauren lopez to me and i constantly forget that this guy exactly exists but just as some random dude in The Flash for a few seasons
Stop I just started playing your vid next to my mum and wasn’t expecting that intro😭😭
Your the reason I bought this book, and I’m so excited to read it! I’ve already read a couple of pages and I’m so obsessed. Especially at the beginning with the message from Emma Watson, was so wholesome. So excited to read this! Thanks for encouraging me. ❤️
He should free himself from this role! It's kinda funny how it's only Draco and Fishes
16:30 very relatable content, I’m a 6’1 big grown man and nothing strikes fear into my heart like roving bands of children. I’d be out of there so fast
I genuinely loved his memoir 🥲
the way every other actor from the franchise has moved on and only tom felton is still desperately clinging to his “draco malfoy” days is so funny to me
I mean the Phelps twins get involved in Harry Potter stuff too but at least they don't talk about being the Weasley twins literally every two seconds lol
remember the hate for the kid who played joffrey in game of thrones? not surprised it happened to tom felton
I didn't read them but Matthew Perry or Pamela Anderson memoir could great to read ! 😇
Thanks for this video ❤️
oooo ive heard good things!
Ugh from Alizee's review of Matthew Perry's, i honestly dislike him immensely after that hahaha.
@@OpqHMg I doubt I’d like him in real life but it’s a great memoir! He writes about addiction brutally and it’s a miracle he’s still alive. Super interesting and unflinching.