「Please Give Me a Red Pen」feat.Hatsune Miku- English subbed

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ค. 2015
  • It's Shiina Mota。I accidentally bought a squid。
    I have a feeling that I quitted Shinkenzemi and did it again for like 5 times。
    I didn't submit to Red Pen-sensei for even just once。
    Lyrics・Music・Illustration Shiina Mota
    Movie Yuuma
     
    inst → piapro.jp/t/SJOJ
    HP → www.siinamota.com/
    Mylist → mylist/14312330
    Guys, this producer has passed away on July 23rd, probably suicide. This is the song he uploaded half an hour before his death. May he rest in peace.
    Disclaimer: I don't own this video. All the rights go to the original author.
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ความคิดเห็น • 1.6K

  • @miyokio
    @miyokio 9 ปีที่แล้ว +6540

    I hope people actually realize the symbolism of this song.
    In Japanese culture it is considered a curse to write your make in red ink, as that's the colour they use to write the dead's names in.
    And by looking at the picture we can see a 'phantom' hand reaching from behind the girls shoulder, as if it was writing for her.

    • @senpai7705
      @senpai7705 8 ปีที่แล้ว +365

      +Anaise ' v ' I'm not sure if that's a phantom hand but actually the girls hand? It might just be his art style, its hard to explain but some artists dont outline all the lines and make it seem as if a few objects are floating. I did not know about the first part but now I can understand the song a bit better

    • @miyokio
      @miyokio 8 ปีที่แล้ว +206

      Senpai I know what you mean, but it somehow just doesn't feel that way. I mean if she was holding the hand up then surely it would show the folds in the fabric, but the body is the same on either side. The whole angle of the hand is reaching from behind her, so I'm not debunking what you say. Its just the whole idea of it being out of her control fits with this songs motifs anyway.

    • @556am9
      @556am9 8 ปีที่แล้ว +150

      +Anaise ' v '
      It could also simply mean let me write my name as I would write a dead person's name; with a red pen.
      'Let me make the decision to end my life'

    • @yonzorikuo8051
      @yonzorikuo8051 8 ปีที่แล้ว +131

      oh shit, i thought it was her hand at first

    • @xmalz27
      @xmalz27 7 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      I stumbled across this video once again after 2 years and your comment just made me realize it wasn't Miku's hand. I have no idea why I didn't notice it before

  • @omega-xis1943
    @omega-xis1943 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4046

    Looking over these lyrics....... It feels like his story.... His last thoughts on his life. The red pen represents the road he took, take a red pen and draw a line down a paper. That's his life. When the lyrics say I refill my ink. That means he wants to start over. I mix in sophism (meaning deceive) I can show you my skill sharper than this logic. Well logic is the idea of rationality, but being sharper than it means.... He thinks it's a lie. If you hear something logical, but say I know better, that means the idea (logic) is wrong. He thinks this world is a lie and try to overcome it with his vocaloid music. Music has been seen as a escape from reality. Especially artists that make songs make a story. Even if it's a lie.
    The worst feeling, the best feeling is parts of his life that he lived through. "If I mixed them with the muddler , that would be weird" means he doesn't understand why such events happens to him. A muddler is someone that makes mud puddles through disorganization of thinking or working.
    He stated before hand that this world is a lie to him. And his thoughts are scrambled on what is truly correct to him.
    "You were there" represents some one he looks up to meeting him. In the next line " If I could be like you" that is proof he looked up to someone. But it also means I would like to redraw my life to be like yours . With "here is the red pen" the last sentence I put down also reinforces wanting to redo my life. "No matter what... That would be nice" well, no matter what, also translate to me
    /even if I could die and redo it to be just like you\
    "The body you existed in..... A red mark on a lie I spat that time" I would like to be you, but even I know it's a lie. "More reasonable than nonsense, more reasonable" it is stating
    /I reasoned that it would be a lie, it will still be a lie\
    "A red mark on this uncertain everyday"
    /another lie on this unpredictable day just like any other\ do you know what will happen today? No? Well that is what this line states. And when he looks back in his past, he really did see everything as surprising. He would never have thought (it's just a made up example) that nobody would come to his birthday party, what a unpredictable surprise like every day.
    "Sharper than any drama" he only knows that the world is fake. He knows that it's fake, because in paragraph one "sharper" means /I know it's wrong\ so he looks at life as if a drama. But when you look at a stage or tv show you know that it's fake ( when have you watched a TV drama show and said that is in real life).
    "I'm hungry I'm full it doesn't matter to you that's cause the needle is pointed my way"
    (The "full part" is when I looked at the comments and the other word was suppose to be full) means / I was once wanting views on my vocaloid works, but it doesn't matter to you, because my life is coming to an end\
    The needle is the tip of the pen. Back in paragraph 1. We draw a line from the top of a paper and all the way back down. The pen would be facing you and at the end of the paper. Meaning death.
    "Here is my red pen without noticing I'm getting far away" here he sees his end . His life is like the line drawn by the red pen. He sees it nearing the edge of the paper, but de didn't notice it.
    "Your coming, right .... Please come back"
    The person he looked up to have died. Many people have thought these same things when encountering a loved one gone. /Please let it be a lie and that he or she never died in the first place, please.\
    "To the original place, to the original place until you reach my place"
    /I will wait where we used to hang out... Until you return right here\ imagine Shiina Moto is waiting for his friend at the spot.
    "Here is the red pen if I could be like you no matter what... I'd be happy right?"
    /if I could lie and be just like you.... Would that make me happy\ he is speaking to his friend that he looked up to, trying to be happy even after his death.
    "Here is the red pen "it's normal to make comparisons"" is it okay to be like his friend. Could he live up to his name with similar comparisons.
    "Why?... It's so sad" he knows what he is doing is sad and inexcusable in his own mind.
    "The more nonsense the more red marks"
    The more life or this world make up stupid events to make for Shiina the more he notices it being fake.
    "It's timeout isn't it" he is near his time. Timeout means (example) simply children having a time out from playing. He is the child that is taking a time out from life.
    "The first circle is the last circle" . The first is the last circle just means there is one circle. Just imagine drawing your first circle, that's it your done. You don't draw another one. That's why it's his first and last one to clarify.
    But his life is the circle. He starts drawing it out and ends it. HE ENDS IT.
    "If you look at the examination paper has, it's strange, 0 points"
    When you looked at an examination paper. That is it. An examination paper is a test, when graded ,it's finished. In school when your done you have to turn it in. That is his life an examination paper graded no value a zero.
    This song tells you why he committed suicide. ( how it's suicide official links would never say suicide and they never explicitly state how he died. If it was a heart failure, then they would have told us)
    So that is what this song mean. The title itself could be translated as /Please let me relive or redo my life\
    And his friend he looked up to... Was probably a vocaloid-p. Shiina started at 14 meaning he got inspiration from vocaloid music. And he did eventually meet him, but the vocaloid-p has died. So he notices that every time he uploads a vocaloid song he would notices comparisons. I kept this part a secret till now so I didn't ruin the flow of paragraphs I had.
    I didn't know about his works. But with this song I respect him even in suicide or not. Just this one song has so much meaning that I wish I had listened to his music before.
    Maybe just maybe if a lot more people appreciated his work, this song would have been could blue pen.

    • @ComputerDeathglare
      @ComputerDeathglare 9 ปีที่แล้ว +104

      WELL I'M GOING TO LOCK MYSELF IN A ROOM AND FUCKING SOB FOR A FEW YEARS.

    • @G_H_O_S_T_I_N_G
      @G_H_O_S_T_I_N_G 9 ปีที่แล้ว +166

      I feel like people shouldn't be able to make this so other vocaloids to sing this now because it was his life like you said and hopefully people will understand the man ended it all and I just dont think its right for others to do that plz forgive my stupidity for this comment

    • @xuebingcracker
      @xuebingcracker 9 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Oh my god...

    • @G_H_O_S_T_I_N_G
      @G_H_O_S_T_I_N_G 9 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      +Usamaru Pyon I cri everytime

    • @ruzakiyay
      @ruzakiyay 9 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      I'm crying even more now.

  • @hayz691
    @hayz691 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3449

    Weird to think that the first song I hear from Shiina Mota is his last song.

    • @rinzzzzie718
      @rinzzzzie718 8 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      +NipahMotherfuckers Yeah, me too. I kinda feel guilty actually... :(

    • @hayz691
      @hayz691 8 ปีที่แล้ว +144

      456animegirl I'm making an artwork dedicated to his memory... Hopefully that'll compensate for my lack of interest in his work?
      Really, though, his songs are really nice. But I can't say how I'd feel about them if I didn't know that he died. Would I dismiss the songs as a nice tune and forget about them? Or would I appreciate his own style he has within them, and feel the same way I do now? I'm not sure.

    • @shoganflamemasta3975
      @shoganflamemasta3975 8 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      +NipahMotherfuckers I first heard Strobe light. I didn't knew that he was dead. But when i saw the lyrics it facinated me. I translated them from english to my native language to try to understand them. The sadness that growed in me was incredible. I somehow knew that he had choosen to end his life. I think, that in his sadness he produced amazing art, that came right from his hearth. I think you would valorate them as much as if he was alive. But that would be kinda of a paradox. Because i belive that he was able to do his art, because he suicided in the end

    • @Naruki513
      @Naruki513 8 ปีที่แล้ว +184

      Actually "healthy end" is his truly last song

    • @GameheroVHDLol
      @GameheroVHDLol 8 ปีที่แล้ว +83

      he made it and gave it to his friend.

  • @hiim_matt
    @hiim_matt 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    It's been 9 years since Shiina Mota's death, Today is his death anniversary, I wish he's doing good while him up there :)

  • @StrangeDew
    @StrangeDew 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1670

    To anyone who feels like they've only made mistakes their whole lives, you managed to stay alive up till now. Don't give up.

    • @SomeKirbyHater
      @SomeKirbyHater 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Thank you

    • @micropocari1604
      @micropocari1604 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      You stay alive too buddy!

    • @user-dx7ej6cs5t
      @user-dx7ej6cs5t 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Please, please don't do this please please please

    • @gothicwvlff2
      @gothicwvlff2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​@@user-dx7ej6cs5t ?

    • @mimi00113
      @mimi00113 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you, you too bud!

  • @Wekulu
    @Wekulu 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2786

    This song is cursed in the way that it makes me physically sick to listen to. Although it's not actually his last song (healthy end is officially his last song, uploaded by the person who made the video on his behalf), the fact that he committed suicide on the same day as uploading makes my stomach flip

    • @imfightingimfighting3777
      @imfightingimfighting3777 5 ปีที่แล้ว +244

      same man , everytime i listen to this exact song , i feel something very strong in my guts its like i want to vomit
      im not trying to be rude or anything but ...its really makes me sick in a very nigative way
      and the problem is that i really love this song ... and ive never felt so awful because of a song in my whole life ive listened to such deppressed songs but it didnt gave me that feeling ... it never did

    • @matilde_5
      @matilde_5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +102

      I thought I was the only one to feel this way!
      It just gives me this very wrong feeling in my stomach, going up to my neck-
      I kind of feel like I want to throw up because of this feeling.
      It just has something so wrong to it...

    • @yurei8004
      @yurei8004 4 ปีที่แล้ว +104

      This song is definitely different than others. It is the only song of his which fills me with hope, nearly happiness. When you've decided to commit suicide, you feel relief the pain finally ends. I might be feeling it in this song. It makes me realize there's a way out of the pain, that it won't last forever. When I think about disappearing, my brain eventually rotting in the ground and every trace of my mental illness gone... Finally breaking free, that there is away to never feel like this again, it fills me with hope. At the same time, akapen brings me to tears. なんでさ なんでさ 悲しいな... It really is very sad, isn't it.

    • @mckatherine
      @mckatherine 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I know I'm late but I'm afraid this was his last song to upload. It's in the description :(

    • @hatsunemikuchannel2023
      @hatsunemikuchannel2023 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I'm so sorry for PowaPowa-P... 😔😔😥😥😔😔

  • @pojo7649
    @pojo7649 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2588

    Oh gosh I'm not even sure I can listen to this song again because of that spine shuddering, soul crushing piano chord.
    That chord seriously scares me. Like he finally lost control and couldn't fight anymore.

    • @CutieYoli
      @CutieYoli 7 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Josugay 😢

    • @cpuiffy3154
      @cpuiffy3154 7 ปีที่แล้ว +208

      Yeah that is soul crushing. Caught me completely off guard.

    • @FionaPGTgames
      @FionaPGTgames 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Oof. Its like the G note all ober again Eh?

    • @fujiwarachika2187
      @fujiwarachika2187 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Which one? The one at the very end?

    • @milkyii
      @milkyii 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@fujiwarachika2187 yee

  • @teal.4674
    @teal.4674 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1183

    As a Japanese, I would say the title is more like "Please give me a red pen to grade" or "Please grade me". In Japan, teachers use red pens to grade tests etc, hence the words "marks" and "circles." (ペケ translated as simply "marks" here are actually X's and circles actually mean correct answers in Japan). But reading the comments here, I gained a lot more insights on this song, like the red representing blood etc.
    I've been trying not to listen to this song because it's just too painful.... but I did today, and wow. May you rest in peace.

    • @joho7151
      @joho7151 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Thanks for the insight!! I love Powa Powa so much, it's sad that he's gone now. But the songs he's left us with are beautiful

    • @N3k0Y0m1
      @N3k0Y0m1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      It is also said in Japanese legend that writing your name in red ink is a curse.

    • @MaoRatto
      @MaoRatto 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Thank you for the context. ありがとうございます!

    • @aaravmaster3454
      @aaravmaster3454 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I can't find powa powa channel

    • @derpthing3707
      @derpthing3707 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@N3k0Y0m1 In Chinese culture it is also considered a curse or a bad omen to write your name in red ink, it's like saying you want to resign from life, which I believe is the same in Japanese too.

  • @mysterygurlzz227
    @mysterygurlzz227 8 ปีที่แล้ว +550

    Took me a while to realise that the hand in her shoulder isn't hers.
    RIP Powapowa-p, though

    • @Krazycutiegurlxxx
      @Krazycutiegurlxxx 8 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      I just realized it thanks to someone else's comment a moment ago. Very eerie...

    • @leonora3796
      @leonora3796 7 ปีที่แล้ว +70

      It could be her hand though, but I see what you mean. The shadow on her shirt is where her arm would be, they just didn't include the line to show that the arm was bent. The other arm is bent as well, but there is no shading to show it, just lines.

    • @royalblanket
      @royalblanket 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@leonora3796 4 years lat but yeah, the shading indicates the arm is there holding the pen

  • @NerdsPsychoticInterlude
    @NerdsPsychoticInterlude 6 ปีที่แล้ว +680

    It's been two years and I still can't believe Powapowa-p is gone. This song was uploaded only Half an hour before his death and when you look at it it's clear that it's symbolizing the fact that wanted to write his own name down in red ink. In Japanese culture that is A cursed thing to do because red inked names usually symbolize the dead. This clearly resembles the reason for his cause of wanting to do this to himself. I will always miss you Powapowa-p :(

    • @MokohiChan
      @MokohiChan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Listening now in 2019 is so strange and potent, all this time and my heart still hurts. I never spoke with him, but his music was what helped me through the hardest years of my life and I'll always come back to listen again.

    • @cheeseballs3218
      @cheeseballs3218 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      ​@@MokohiChanhope your ok now

    • @CupisCupidity
      @CupisCupidity ปีที่แล้ว +7

      8 years ago since he died :(

    • @casuals.3.19
      @casuals.3.19 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If I had one wish it would be to turn back time and stop him from killing himself

    • @hailfelipe177
      @hailfelipe177 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Oh

  • @rosebud4269
    @rosebud4269 3 ปีที่แล้ว +795

    today marks six years since siinamota’s death. i still miss him, but hopefully he’s in a better place now.

    • @ponikoTV
      @ponikoTV 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same

    • @tiramaku6673
      @tiramaku6673 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I hope I were in this place too.

    • @reesespiecesyes
      @reesespiecesyes ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Does someone run his channel?

    • @odie8711
      @odie8711 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@reesespiecesyes His friends posted his unreleased songs after his death

    • @rosebud4269
      @rosebud4269 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@reesespiecesyes this channel makes english subtitles videos for vocaloid songs, this channel is not Siinamota

  • @ou81290211
    @ou81290211 9 ปีที่แล้ว +692

    Listening to this song, I feel that Powapowa-P is saying that he wants to be a red pen, which is able to make corrections. But he wanted it to make corrections to his life. However, his examination paper is his life, and, receiving a zero on it means that he feels as though he has failed life, and it is time for him to end it.
    I never really listened to his music, but after looking into him some more, I realized what a talented producer he was. Looking at all the evidence, it appears that he actually committed suicide rather than having a stroke. Powapowa-P, I'm sorry for whatever you were going through. I wish you could have made it. It's truly the saddest thing when someone's life steeps an all-time low to the point where suicide is one of their only options. I've been in that situation before, too.
    I just wish Powapowa-P was alive and happy.

    • @lyssa4176
      @lyssa4176 8 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      The song also has another meaning, I think- It goes off of the Japanese tradition in which, when someone dies, their name is written and crossed off in red ink in the town registry. For this same reason, you aren't supposed to write a living person's name down in red ink

    • @goargrind
      @goargrind 7 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      i wish i were a pen...

    • @joedolan3889
      @joedolan3889 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Huh

  • @CosmicX1
    @CosmicX1 9 ปีที่แล้ว +565

    I can't say that I ever followed his works too closely, but it's particularly sad that he's gone even though we were the same age, however he managed to create so much in such a short time. His talent and legacy will live on for as long as people play his music.

    • @NoahasWithTheLightXD
      @NoahasWithTheLightXD 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Ya it’s really nostalgic but it’s really well edited since I was born
      Edit: It was 3 days before my 6 months birthday since I was born

  • @NausicaaRaine
    @NausicaaRaine 9 ปีที่แล้ว +761

    It took me all day to work up the courage to listen to this song, because I had to watch my niece and I didn't want to be sad while she was here. Now that I'm alone and I've heard this, I really can't believe it.
    I can't believe he was younger than me by a year. I never knew. When I was in high school, I used to listen to his song Astronauts very often; I had a lot of respect for him and that song. I'm very grateful for everything he shared with us all. .

    • @Acceleration3
      @Acceleration3 8 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      +NausicaaRaine I got the exact same feeling except he was a month younger than me. He was like a person on the other side of the globe that I could relate to through his songs as they helped me with tough periods of my life. Astronauts was one of my favorites too but he had too many great songs: the strobe series, Q, my pallete is full of you, this one and many, many more. Rest in peace Ryo Mizoguchi. No, rest in peace PowaPowaP, as we all knew and loved him.

    • @dumbedass4068
      @dumbedass4068 8 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      +NausicaaRaine he was a year older than me, and i can remember listening to his music, particularly sky fish and the strobe series, all the time in middle school. he helped me through so much with his songs and i wish i could have returned the favor somehow. i wish i could have spoken to him.

    • @SailorMorgy28
      @SailorMorgy28 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +sans. How old was he when he died?

    • @emineirembal5341
      @emineirembal5341 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      20 years old

    • @littlesunflower4117
      @littlesunflower4117 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Can I know his twitter username?

  • @itswhimsy3006
    @itswhimsy3006 5 ปีที่แล้ว +636

    Ive listened to this song over and over but i finally just realized the meaning of the last lines of the song
    In japan, instead of a tick on tests they put circles. The singer has had red marks (wrong answers) all over their test, except for one (the first and last circle). Thats why they say its strange they got 0 points, their “right answer” didnt count for anything

    • @lonrabbit7776
      @lonrabbit7776 4 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      Then isn't the last circle not the correct mark but in fact the "0?" Cause that's a circle too.

    • @Anotherguy_7
      @Anotherguy_7 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Siinamotas last song, was a masterpiece soaked in blood...

    • @kuchikirukia2464
      @kuchikirukia2464 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@lonrabbit7776 Or maybe the only thing he was successful at was being born. You don't get points for that in life.

    • @SleemSls
      @SleemSls หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@kuchikirukia2464 The first circle is the last circle, throughout the whole song he grades himself and his life. His last action in life was to kill himself

  • @trashcancreature
    @trashcancreature 5 ปีที่แล้ว +328

    When I first discovered Shiina, he was already gone. But I didn’t know- when I first became a fan of vocaloid I never really looked into artists, I just added songs that spoke to me....but as my playlists started to fill up with his creator name I finally looked at the big picture.... Naturally I found out he passed and became sad for a short time, but no more than that. At first- while listening to this song, I couldn’t understand how this could be a goodbye. Then, going on as a vocaloid fan I continued to listen to his music. Looking into the meanings, listening to them on repeat and sometimes even crying while they played. “Please help yourself to seconds” triggering my feelings in a way I didn’t think possible in my numb state. After listening to more and more of his work over time I was heartbroken that someone with who I am so emotionally similar to had given up his life. I was in a terrible stage of my life and I was starting to get hopeless- songs like this one or even Healthy End made me frustrated and confused. So now that I’m more... myself- I’m revisiting this song and it means so much more to me then it ever did before. I wish I could’ve met-Shiia or even thanked him for the comfort he indirectly gave me through his art and music. I truly hope that he knows how much he mattered in life and in death....Rest easy, Ryo. We miss you.

  • @Dafunkcat
    @Dafunkcat 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +170

    This song, called "Please Give Me A Red Pen" Was realeased from Shiinamota 30 Mins. before his death.
    R.I.P Shiinamota 03/09/1995 - 07/23/2015
    His death was "believed" to be Suicide, because he realeased a song "Healthy End" which talked about suicide.
    We love you all, Shiinamota. 💞💞
    Rest in peace in heaven.
    Japanese:
    この曲は「Please Give Me A Red Pen」という曲で、しいなもた 30 Mins からリリースされました。彼の死の前に。
    安らかに椎名もた 03/09/1995 - 07/23/2015
    彼は自殺について歌った曲「Healthy End」を発表したため、彼の死は自殺であると「信じられていた」。
    椎名もたさん、皆さん大好きです。 💞💞
    天国で安らかに眠ってください。

    • @anachan2009
      @anachan2009 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I from malay but i i like shiina mota :) siinamota rest in peace

    • @Low_resolution
      @Low_resolution 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Healthy end was made by his friends.
      Give me a red pen is still a dark song.

    • @Purplo-Comments-But-N
      @Purplo-Comments-But-N 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I knew that and felt so bad when I found out, thank you for telling everybody and RIP siinamota

    • @Limesecretgarden
      @Limesecretgarden 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Low_resolutionHealthy end was FINISHED by his friends

    • @Low_resolution
      @Low_resolution 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Limesecretgarden yes but the song was wroten by him

  • @ProjectDIVAde
    @ProjectDIVAde 9 ปีที่แล้ว +270

    I was shocked when hearing this announcement.. Thank you for sharing the lyrics with us, now more people get to know what his last thoughts have been... Rest in piece.

    • @wetwank
      @wetwank 9 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      ghost It says THOUGHTS.

    • @fjusaras8365
      @fjusaras8365 9 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      ghost this was uploaded 30 minutes before his death

    • @wetwank
      @wetwank 9 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Veronica Denef Garcia R actually an hour and thirty

    • @ProjectDIVAde
      @ProjectDIVAde 9 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Veronica Denef Garcia R Well, the time of death was never announced. To deduce he died minutes after his last Tweet, may be wrong.

    • @evanc2185
      @evanc2185 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Well, there's another one. Have you heard Healthy End?

  • @c02c02
    @c02c02 8 ปีที่แล้ว +275

    "the first circle is the last circle,
    and if you look at the exam paper
    ha, how strange. 0 points."

    • @onion4297
      @onion4297 8 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      And,that was the hint.

    • @user-yv3zk1lk6c
      @user-yv3zk1lk6c 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      'i've gone nowhere with my life, it's all been for nothing'

    • @agenericguy1014
      @agenericguy1014 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@user-yv3zk1lk6c Wait,that's the meaning of it...
      That's depressing

    • @iam5759
      @iam5759 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sad

  • @Zen4204
    @Zen4204 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1959

    Im leaving this comment here so i can be reminded of this song every time somebody likes it

    • @Normief
      @Normief 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      Like baiter, pretty clever strategy tho

    • @Zen4204
      @Zen4204 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      @@Normief nah my intentions r pure this time

    • @dnlplayz4284
      @dnlplayz4284 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      ​@@Zen4204there is no way you're gonna listen to it hundreds nor thousands of times

    • @iwillteachyoumath
      @iwillteachyoumath 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      @@Zen4204you dont get notification when people like ur comment, only reply, so just just say when people reply you will get reminded and also more comments more people will hear this song

    • @NotSomeJustinWithoutAMoustache
      @NotSomeJustinWithoutAMoustache 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@iwillteachyoumath You do get like notifications, although they are very, very rare compared to reply notifications, which are themselves rarer than heart notifications which notify every time unlike some reply notifications. If I had to compare them I probably get something like 20 comment notifications before I get a like notification.

  • @JustAnotherAnimeFan
    @JustAnotherAnimeFan 8 ปีที่แล้ว +334

    During the last forty seconds of the song, this knot builds up in my chest. It's like feeling Mizoguchi drawing closer to death as I sit here, unable to do anything to stop it.
    Rest in peace, dear PowaPowaP, and know that you were loved.

  • @yellowmatsu
    @yellowmatsu 7 ปีที่แล้ว +223

    I completely understand the feeling of working under depression, I couldn't even mix a fuckin song, so for Powa-P creating this as his last song, I respect him so much. Rest in Peace, Senpai. Your works will be forever in our hearts.

  • @rubberchicken1219
    @rubberchicken1219 8 ปีที่แล้ว +408

    It's been a year after his death. It's becoming painful to listen to his songs now even though I love it so much. I should stop talking now, I can't see the screen properly, my eyes have gone a bit blurry.

    • @salemrealistic9748
      @salemrealistic9748 8 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      He was my favorite vocaloid artist.(as in music) I cried when I found out he died.

    • @rubberchicken1219
      @rubberchicken1219 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      ***** Hey, I still cry when I accidentally click into his twitter page or when I listen to his last album

    • @gin22672
      @gin22672 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah, I agree. I love his music, but it also makes me really sad to listen to :(

    • @Gnakken
      @Gnakken 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yea, I'm a big fan of his music. Especially Strobe Light.

    • @karmicmaster420
      @karmicmaster420 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      who's death?

  • @Juumein
    @Juumein 6 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    To me it sort of sounds like he planned his suicide. Typically, red pens are used to mark calendars. The lyrics talked about something coming closer and the first circle being the last. He may have marked his planned day on the calendar.

  • @pillboys
    @pillboys 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    knowing that this song was uploaded not long at all before his death.. knowing about the symbolism behind the red pen .. makes this hard to listen to. it feels kind of like a suicide note. is it weird to say that listening to this song makes me feel like im being invasive (from watching something so very personal), even though he uploaded it himself? i felt tense and kinda sick to my stomach. maybe because i can sympathize? the first listen just made me sit there with wet eyes for a moment. knowing about.. all of that.. its hard. its hard to listen to. i dont think ill be able to ever see this song as simply a song, a work of art that a very talented man uploaded.

  • @enter0title0here
    @enter0title0here 8 ปีที่แล้ว +102

    Holy shit-- I just learned of PowaPowaP's death due to all of these youtube's comments... I had no idea he was so young.. I am shocked and grieved... May he rest in piece.

    • @cheesemuncher63
      @cheesemuncher63 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Hello, I know its been almost a decade, this song is about how he feels about his life and why hes killing himself. It was uploded, thirty minutes before he died.

  • @gesotaiga2398
    @gesotaiga2398 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    While the whole lyrics is build up depressing until the end, the last few seconds of the song gave me terrible chills of horror as the song ends abruptly with the keys banging. Thats when he gave up and took his life...
    Rest in Peace

  • @axelsgf
    @axelsgf ปีที่แล้ว +43

    The last note with the piano felt like a snapping moment its pretty scary almost like snapping back to reality I can’t imagine how he was feeling writing the lyrics..

  • @scarfwitch3068
    @scarfwitch3068 9 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    R.I.P PowaPowaP.

  • @perotekku
    @perotekku 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    For anyone out there who feels like giving up, don't.
    Siinamota-san felt he had no reason to live, and now we're left in a world without his genius.
    Even almost 10 years later, peoplr are still moved by his music.
    There's always someone who cares about you, always. If you think there's no one, then I'll be the one. Stay strong, and help eachother.

    • @boopsdoops
      @boopsdoops 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      i didnt even know brother existed til maybe a week ago n holy shit im already so invested in what he did, it sucks to see how things ended up

  • @user-bz9vx1cg8i
    @user-bz9vx1cg8i 8 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    If anyone's wondering why the song is called "Please Give Me A Red Pen", it's simple.
    In Asia, it's a superstition that if you use a red pen, the person will die (since the red ink looks like blood).
    There's not much to say about it. It's a shame he passed, though. < / 3

    • @reenaki_art
      @reenaki_art 8 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      well that would mean all my teachers are due for meeting the devil....

  • @andeggbreaks
    @andeggbreaks 9 ปีที่แล้ว +181

    This hit hard for me. Rest in peace.

    • @vanillaessence185
      @vanillaessence185 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      yeah... really sad to see someone like that go...

    • @drilliam1
      @drilliam1 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I was born before her/his death

  • @Jsjjskk
    @Jsjjskk 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I can’t stop coming back, whenever I feel fucked up

    • @RITZUHA_
      @RITZUHA_ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Bro don't give up

    • @yahboy-of7fs
      @yahboy-of7fs 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same

  • @mikei6605
    @mikei6605 8 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    In japan, a red pen is used to correct student's test papers and a check is for the wrong answer, a circle is for a right answer... I'm not the best at analysing songs, but i'm just putting this out there.

    • @eleniyeo605
      @eleniyeo605 7 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Actually, a circle is for the right answer, and a check is the wrong answer.

    • @mikei6605
      @mikei6605 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      right, sorry I was thinking about English class

  • @yurei8004
    @yurei8004 4 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    Strangely enough, despite the background this song tends to fill me with hope. Maybe it's the relief Siinamota managed to convey, that the pain will eventually end, it won't last forever. That is a thing you can be sure of, so one might as well try to make the best out of the world you're living in. I don't know what I am living for anymore, severe depression and (since five years) fairly poor prognosis schizophrenia has destroyed my life, I can't feel anything else than a huge heavy rock in my chest, I don't remember anymore how happiness feels and due to my brain being destroyed I probably will never experience it again. I'm terribly tired from trying to disobey voices screaming into my ears to seriously hurt myself (leading to death) and degrading me, I often sit very suicidal wishing for a miracle to be healthy and imagining my life without mental illness, seeming completely unreal. If this brain illness gets worse and worse with time, then why should I keep going on? If I live, then it's for moments like going outside for a walk, sitting on a bench and just staring at the water surface and watching ducks. Nature makes me realise the world is huge and with endless possibiities, it's more than just my head. And Powa's sad reminder that the pain will eventually end and you will be at peace, it's slightly helping. On the other hand, I can't listen to Last Strobe nor Strobe Light, those make me feel genuinely very bad, deprived of hope and make my suicidal thoughts spiral deeper. It seems to be the opposite for many people, so it's funny how different you can feel about the same song.

    • @Szy96335
      @Szy96335 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      are you still alive today?

  • @PeeperSnail
    @PeeperSnail 3 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Okay I think now it’s silly that I thought Powapowa-P didn’t commit suicide. However, hearing his songs, a common thread is just - how much he keeps comparing himself with someone?
    It’s especially noticeable in this song and in the Strobe series. I don’t know who exactly this person is or what their role in his life was, but even when his songs talked about how he was gonna make it, it seems he wouldn’t stop comparing his success with others’.
    A person over at the Strobe Light video found out that Powapowa-P made the song end in minor key, which usually conveys sadness or regret, something which doesn’t make sense if you were composing such a hope-filled song without doubting.
    The signs to his worsening mental state were there since the beginning and never truly left.

    • @ZoulStar
      @ZoulStar 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      As far as I’m aware, the person he keeps comparing himself to was an old friend of his who died. It’s all speculation but I believe he held much regret and couldn’t get over loosing them. His songs oozes with melancholy and self loathing, though that’s just me.

  • @wilfordwarfstache125
    @wilfordwarfstache125 8 ปีที่แล้ว +136

    This is really saddening. I haven't really brought myself to listen to his songs until now, even though I heard about his said-to-be suicide months before.
    I have my deepest respects for him. I hope he rests in peace.

  • @user-pn1mo7yn1f
    @user-pn1mo7yn1f 9 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    At 1:38, isn't it supposed to be "I'm hungry, I'm full, but it doesn't matter to you", since おなかいっぱいだ means "I'm full"?
    Thank you for uploading this and share his work. I'm really discouraged that he's gone now, but I'm sure his music will still live on. Please rest in peace Mizoguchi Ryou.

  • @atsunome
    @atsunome 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Coming back here today (July 23rd 2021) to appreciate Siinamota’s works once again. All of his songs are still so beautiful, and I hope that many people will continue to find them and love them just as I, and so many others have.
    Thank you for everything, PowaPowa-P.

  • @pennycat6317
    @pennycat6317 4 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    I swear if those hack heads over at TikTok decide to use these songs we're boycotting them

    • @pennycat6317
      @pennycat6317 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@socksgoofybackup I know, I'm already starting the boycott

    • @vnncv
      @vnncv 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      they used young girl a and turned it into some dumb remix named "paranoia" wtf

    • @Lacondria
      @Lacondria 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Paranoia good idk what you yapping abt😭🙏

    • @nanattechi
      @nanattechi 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      ​@@Lacondria have some respect on siinamota's name.

    • @navneethb5875
      @navneethb5875 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      ​@@Lacondria bro what making a remix about a song which relates a persons death is good? Have some respect man

  • @RainworldEnjoyer___..3
    @RainworldEnjoyer___..3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Still paying my respects to him 8 years later...Rest in peace buddy...your songs helped me grow up man

  • @vytwoyuuma950
    @vytwoyuuma950 5 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    It's the 17th of April, 2019, and I still can't even begin to try to sing this song without breaking down sobbing. RIP, Shiina Mota. Your songs always helped me through tough times. I still miss you dearly. I hope that, wherever you are, you're finally feeling happy.

  • @lemonkirby628
    @lemonkirby628 7 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Before I lose my train of thought...red pens are usually meant for notes and corrections on papers. Could it be that with the red pen, he hopes to mark and fix his mistakes and become happy? But in the end, you can't change what was written and only mark up what has been written with the red pen?

    • @feiii3871
      @feiii3871 7 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      redpen is actually represent death. That's why you can't write people's name with red pen in Asian culture because it's the same like you pray for their death

    • @zentranquilizer
      @zentranquilizer 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      It depends if you're looking at it from an western or Asian perspective.
      Within a western-cultured design, your theory could make quite a lot of sense.. However, not so much in Asian-culture. Throughout various areas of Asia, a "red pen", means something very different. A tale has it that writing a name in red marker is a sign of wishing them death - as the names on the markers of graves are often times red. It's widely frowned upon to do so, or at least, _was_ frowned upon.
      As the modernised world continues to advance, our belief in tales such as this and folk-laws have begun to vanish. Even in areas such as Asia where they take a large role in the history and culture. So, nowadays writing a name in red pen mightn't offend anyone.. But for the context of the song, I'm sure it's referring to how the act of using a red pen would've been seen when the tale still had significant value.
      It's far more likely a very dark and sinister song than one of will to fix mistakes. Regardless though, I like your theory. It's sweet.

  • @MissLMND
    @MissLMND 7 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    I'm not much of a vocaloid fan anymore but to this day I can't listen to any of PowapowaP's songs without crying. I'm hurt. I miss him.

  • @rymdstoft8276
    @rymdstoft8276 9 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    He was one of my favorite producers and still is , when i heard the news i was so sad. So young as well. Rest in peace.

  • @TheMentallySmells
    @TheMentallySmells ปีที่แล้ว +19

    My favorite part is 2:19 because It's sounds like someone who had loss hope in their life and their memories got forgotten. the rhythm and melody of the violin is unbelievable tearing up. even though this song was long time, Siinamota's song never been vanished.

    • @PalkisAlt
      @PalkisAlt หลายเดือนก่อน

      finally someone who talks about that part it's been a part that lives in my head rent free when I first heard it

  • @funni1039
    @funni1039 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    TikTok好きな人たちがまだこの曲を見つけていないのが嬉しいです。

    • @myramos
      @myramos ปีที่แล้ว +2

      google translate ahh mf

    • @ItsPavBtw
      @ItsPavBtw 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Why u using google translate to Type in Japanese 😂😂😂 weird behaviour

  • @user-yj2cn6vu8w
    @user-yj2cn6vu8w 8 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    "Aka pen o douzo."
    _I got a zero, but now it's your turn. How did you do?_

    • @onion4297
      @onion4297 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I got zero...
      He failed.
      ...
      And...
      Died.
      NO I'M NOT CRYING

    • @deanst98
      @deanst98 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      Accurate name is accurate... im sad now

    • @yurei8004
      @yurei8004 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'd get zero,
      But well,
      I am still writing.

  • @senmou_sama
    @senmou_sama ปีที่แล้ว +54

    HALF AN HOUR BEFORE HIS DEATH??
    *FUCKING
    HALF AN HOUR BEFORE HIS DEATH??*
    MAN I CAN'T *COMPREHEND* SOMEONE BEING A FAN OF POWAPOWA-P BACK THEN AND GOING LIKE
    "oh a new song, cool!"
    I-
    okay guys i'm legit crying

    • @thorn6032
      @thorn6032 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      ahaha that was me.. I'm still not over it

    • @senmou_sama
      @senmou_sama 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@thorn6032 OH SHIT DUDE IM SO SORRY

    • @lexthefox6185
      @lexthefox6185 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Fr same....

    • @FIREND728
      @FIREND728 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      but please give me a red pen not last song of siinamota ( healthy end ) is last song

    • @YouTubeIsBad962
      @YouTubeIsBad962 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@FIREND728 healthy end was finished by HIS FRIENDS, they are referring to Siinamota's last song, not his friend's last song.

  • @Gandeloft
    @Gandeloft 9 ปีที่แล้ว +134

    PowapowaP succeded in life, HE BEAUTIFIED THE WORLD BY LEAVING THIS BEAUTY BEHIND (amongst many other)
    LOVE YOU MIKU FOR GIVING HIM THE POSSIBILITY

    • @anangunggulbimantara742
      @anangunggulbimantara742 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Gandeloft He failed in life. He got zero. I'm sorry.

    • @YouTubeIsBad962
      @YouTubeIsBad962 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@anangunggulbimantara742 that's what HE thinks.

    • @Yukari1829
      @Yukari1829 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@TH-camIsBad962but he never fails to make us love his songs.

    • @YouTubeIsBad962
      @YouTubeIsBad962 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Yukari1829 Exactly

  • @hebihime3300
    @hebihime3300 9 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Rest in Peace Shiina Mota, you've done pretty well in the end, and always did a great job..
    thank you for your hard work , may you rest in peace and may your songs be forever engraved in our hearts.

  • @kaylachincookie3488
    @kaylachincookie3488 8 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    THE ENDING GAVE ME REAL BIG CHILLS, RIP PowaPowaP

  • @navyhasnoclevertitle328
    @navyhasnoclevertitle328 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I've never listened to anything by powapowa-p in my life- I just saw his name in a comment and that he had passed. I looked up his name to listen to some of his music, and I went here first. i looked in the comments, and the stories here, knowing this was uploaded only thirty minutes before his suicide....
    it brings me to tears. I haven't cried in ages, and yet I'm doing it for a vocaloid creator I had never heard of until a few minutes ago. It's just so strange- I've listened to more of wowaka's songs and adore them to hell and back, and I love samfree's songs as well, but something about this creator's death hurts me more than those do. (no disrespect intended, I'm still very saddened by both of their deaths)
    maybe it's because I understand. I understand wanting to give up, the hopelessness, the uploading of a final message of sorts before you leave, your last mark on the world showing a downwards, empty spiral.
    this world is so, so difficult.
    rest in peace. I have no memories towards you, but I empathize deeply with you. I hope you're doing everything you want to do without the burden of thoughts eating at your mind and draining you of your energy.
    edit: apparently I have listened to strobe last before, so correction there

  • @Jay100.
    @Jay100. 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I don't know why I'm crying. I didn't know of this artist until recently but the fact that we were born the same year makes my heart ache. If he really died of suicide, or it was a normal death he may Rest In Peace.

  • @hoppe5932
    @hoppe5932 7 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Two years have passed already. Rest well, Powapowa-P.

  • @wintermaestra
    @wintermaestra 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    3 whole years.. i wish you could come back, your music helps me lately when i feel depressed, siinamota

  • @HSilvally
    @HSilvally 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Here I am 5 years later. Never knew him personally, but his songs mean a lot to me. I hope he is at peace wherever he is.

  • @lilacsblossom
    @lilacsblossom 6 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I'm sorry I'm a day late, but 3 years ago we lost such a spark. He was incredibly talented, and what I wouldn't give to have found his music sooner. I sincerely hope he's in a better place.

  • @Deuxtaquia
    @Deuxtaquia 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    "the first circle is the last circle" the only circle is the 0 he got, he gave up without trying because he was too scared... I'll miss you, powa.

  • @michaeltaylor7160
    @michaeltaylor7160 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    The way this ends is truly chilling

  • @ZoulStar
    @ZoulStar 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    This song still haunts me. Giving me shivers the more I listen. F**k my hearts. Rest in Peace Siinamota.

    • @raturiver4912
      @raturiver4912 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same, this song literally haunting me, I can't even go to sleep

  • @Heikin11
    @Heikin11 9 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Rest in Peace powapowa
    such an awesome composer passing away really is saddening

  • @Purinblood
    @Purinblood 9 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Shiina Mota, R.I.P, you will forever be in our hearts and your last song and deepest thoughts and feelings will not go unnoticed. Please have a good afterlife, we will miss you dearly.

  • @wherearetheavocados7012
    @wherearetheavocados7012 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    today marks the 8th year since siinamota's death. I've only discovered him in 2019 and since then i have been listening to his songs. I really wish i could have been there to listen to his songs while he was still alive. I can't help but think about his song "There is someone I can't meet, even in a dream" when i listen to this song :( You will always be in my heart siinamota ♡

  • @beverage7335
    @beverage7335 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I can't just listen to this knowing this was basically this man's suicide note.

  • @LetwoLe2
    @LetwoLe2 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I know that you came to this song because it may sound catchy or depressed. Whatever the reason is, remember I am a stranger that believes in your dreams and abilities. For some, dying is for the weak, but for some it is a final display of their strength. However, if you chose to live, I hope you find your resolve. RIP siinamota

  • @BP_Oil
    @BP_Oil 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Rip Powa. Thank you for all the music and memories you created in your short time on this planet. Rest easy.

  • @root-root
    @root-root 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    When I woke up one morning, I didn't know why this was playing in my head. I hope it isn't insensitive of me to say this, but this sounds strangely calming, and the fact that it is is scary.

  • @GalaxyV39
    @GalaxyV39 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Even until now, it still hurts listening to this entire song. You'll be missed dearly Siinamota

  • @quiewy3436
    @quiewy3436 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    it got me 2 years to watch the whole video, those lyrics are so painful i can feel my heart shiver

  • @QuackDragon
    @QuackDragon 7 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    It really hurts to hear this

  • @rosebud4269
    @rosebud4269 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    happy birthday siinamota
    we miss you

  • @lingyan6901
    @lingyan6901 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Another year without you...
    Wish you were still here.
    I hope you're happy wherever you are now...

  • @meltyparfait1777
    @meltyparfait1777 8 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    all you get to take to heaven is your special memories. if he really hated his life and thought he couldn't make up his errors, that's sad. he didn't bring any special memories to heaven with him ( were still not sure if he killed himself, but it seems obvious to me he did, but maybe do not..)
    R.I.P PowapowaP

    • @lyssa4176
      @lyssa4176 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I kind of doubt that he really hated his life, so to speak. Of course, he clearly wasn't happy, but 'hate' is a really strong word to use in this kind of scenario. PowaPowa-P's last tweet was something along the lines of, "They say you lose your charm when you become an adult. I guess being an adult is bad." so I could just assume that, along with the depression he was clearly facing, the stress and weight of adulthood probably bore down on him too. Reminder, he was twenty when he died. Please Give Me A Red Pen gives off a pessimistic feeling, but his actual last song, Healthy End, gives off a lighter vibe. As stated in Healthy End, he knew that the world wasn't complete shit, by how he says that the world has beautiful colors (something along those lines.) I haven't fully memorized the English lyrics, but I know he does say something close to, "All kinds of people are trying to hold me back." and references that a few times in the song. Honestly though, regardless of how he felt when he died or his outlook on life, we can only hope that PowaPowa-P's happy wherever he is now.

    • @meltyparfait1777
      @meltyparfait1777 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      deep sigh I wrote this so long ago and wasn't thinking when writing this, yes, he probably didn't hate his life, but was clearly enjoying it.
      We probably won't know how he died, but all we can assume he killed himself.
      All we can do is wish best wishes for his family and hope he rests in peace.

    • @yurei8004
      @yurei8004 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Adulthood is much more difficult in Japan, yes, extreme pressure.

  • @Nori_R11
    @Nori_R11 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    English Lyrics: cowfeenmoosic
    If you refill this red ink up for me
    I'd continue writing
    More than any words you could speak
    Rapidly, rapidly
    If you mix in a little quibbling
    I just might be handy
    More than any fair reasoning
    Sharper it seems, sharper it seems
    The worst feeling in my life,
    the best feeling in my life
    If you muddle them and shed some light
    Ah, that can't be right
    You were by my side
    Here's a pen, so take it please
    If I could be like you,
    wouldn't that be neat?
    No matter what, no matter how
    What if, somehow?
    I could see your body was there
    Because you were already here
    To all those times
    when I had told deceit
    Cross it out in red ink
    More than any stupidity
    Correct it please, correct it please
    To my whole life of indecisive things
    Cross it out in red ink
    More than any drama or scene
    Sharper it bleeds, sharper it bleeds
    Even if I'm hungry
    even if I can't eat
    None of it matters anyway,
    'cause when you look at me
    The needle's piercing
    Here's a pen, so take it please
    Before I realized, you left my side
    You came here, right?
    You were here, right?
    Oh, don't say goodbye
    To the place where we were before
    To the place where you were before
    To the place where I'm waiting for -
    Here's a pen, so take it please
    If I could be like you,
    wouldn't that be neat?
    No matter what, no matter how
    If only, somehow
    Here's a red pen, so take it please
    If "it's normal comparing everything"
    Then why do I, then why do I
    Continue to cry?
    Through the absence of all meaning
    I keep crossing out in red ink
    Just to pass the time as I sing
    The first circle that I've drawn
    Is the last circle I've drawn
    If you see what I have done
    Ah, now that is a weird one
    My score adds to none

  • @raposarealm
    @raposarealm 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I held off from listening to this song for months, even though I saw the upload of it right away, because I knew I'd be sad as hell when I did listen to it. Here I am, several months later, and sad as all hell. The song ends so suddenly, like it was forcibly cut off by someone. Maybe that's comparable to a life being cut off. I don't know, but I do know I'm going to be really solemn for the rest of the day. Thank you, Powapowa-P, for all you've done.

  • @dungkaz-rblx6216
    @dungkaz-rblx6216 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Profile
    Name: Mizoguchi Ryo (溝口遼)
    Stage Name: siinamota (椎名もた), Powapowa-P (ぽわぽわP)
    Birthday: March 9, 1995
    Date of Death: July 23, 2015 (age 20)
    Birthplace: Komatsu, Ishikawa, Japan
    Zodiac:  Pisces
    Discography
    Studio Albums
    [2011.01.21] Sepia Record (セピアレコード )
    [2011.11.04] Award Strobe Hello
    [2012.03.07] Yume no Manimani (夢のまにまに)
    [2013.03.06] Cokegane no Uta "Poncotsu Odyssey" (コケガネのうた)
    [2013.10.09] Alter World Setsuna Pop (アルターワー・セツナポップ)
    [2013.04.27] Powapoworks
    [2015.03.04] Ikiru "Alive" (生きる)
    Post-death Albums
    [2019.7.23] Powapoworks -last
    [2019.7.23] Yue ni. "Therefore." (故に 。)
    EPs
    [2012.02.05] alpa
    Songwriting Credits
    [2014.02.19] walk (ft. MoyoyoMiyazawa) [MIKU-MIXTURE]
    Trivia
    Final Songs
    Hide✝ This text contains information about suicide ✝
    Siinamota released a song a few hours before his death titled "Please Give Me a Red Pen". The song is quite dark and likely is related to his death. Another song was released posthumously 4 months after his death by サイトウユウマ (Saitou Yuuma). The person who making the music video, it is called "Healthy End" and its lyrics discuss suicide.
    References
    ↑ ボカロPの椎名もたさん死去 20歳

    • @Zuko71
      @Zuko71 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank for the information

  • @c4cezar_magz
    @c4cezar_magz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    To this day the ending sends a shiver down my spine. Rest in peace. Probably one of the best producers I've heard.

    • @c4cezar_magz
      @c4cezar_magz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      came back to this song 4 years later. still reigns true.

  • @bxh3993
    @bxh3993 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    i remember learning about powapowa-p's death soon after i first discovered his songs, many years ago. in all this time, i've been too afraid to listen to this song, so i never did. now that i am, i can only think one thing: that even though the rushed sound of the song matches the horror in my heart that these were his last words, the song is still a good song. the melody, the rhythm, the sound. it's rushed and pieced together but i can still tell he's there in this song. if one thing, i just wish he could know he was a good musician.

  • @MiniEmber
    @MiniEmber ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Still hurts to listen to. RIP Siinamota, everyone is showing the respect you deserved on the young girl a upload from your record label. Wish I knew what you were going through when I found your music and gave you support. Rest easy

    • @cookiekillers3431
      @cookiekillers3431 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I discovered siinamota’s work along with the recent trend, and learned what happened from a reply you gave to someone in the young girl a track. Depressing stuff, but thank you for preserving his story for people like me nonetheless 🙏 . Very shameful that most people on tiktok couldn’t share the same respect.

    • @MiniEmber
      @MiniEmber ปีที่แล้ว

      @@cookiekillers3431 Thank you for understanding and reading my replies. It means a lot

  • @NiightCreeper
    @NiightCreeper 8 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Goosebumbs all ovee my body...ugh..everytime that I hear this song i cry so bad

  • @cond3mned_24
    @cond3mned_24 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    3:30 That's *deep* to be honest.😮

  • @user-zs9ux1ru8u
    @user-zs9ux1ru8u 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    We all still remember you. No matter how long it was, we will always remember you. RIP Powapowa-P. 🕊

  • @cherrykamino
    @cherrykamino 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    When I was focusing in the lyrics I felt like Shiina was trying to speak to me with how he lived his life and what he's been through. ..and when that piano note hit at the end I felt shudders .. he's like saying "I can't take this anymore." ..and I cried.

  • @killme1677
    @killme1677 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    May PowaPowap be at peace in a world he feels like he belongs. I'm deeply saddened. Thank you for the amazing music you'll never be forgotten x

  • @Itzlollii
    @Itzlollii ปีที่แล้ว +6

    for people who doesnt understand the meaning of this song: in Japan it is a curse if you write someone's name in red they will "die" and the girl wants to suicide in this vid

    • @Lando1_1
      @Lando1_1 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      It was powapowa last song before he died so it was him saying he didn’t want to live not the girl the girl is just a volacoid

    • @manhakhan2862
      @manhakhan2862 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      the creator of this song presumably committed suicide- as his songs were all vents. The girl here (Hatsune mIku) is vocaloid.

  • @ErocktheGamer
    @ErocktheGamer 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    I'm adding a comment so I will be reminded about this song when somebody likes it

  • @mazelrinefinder6990
    @mazelrinefinder6990 8 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I can't believe one of my favorite Vocaloid producers passed away... I remember the very first song I heard is "Astronauts". Every time I hear that song makes me want to cry.. I imagine him that he's the one singing... When I heard this last song he wrote, I can't help it but to cry. Thank you Powapowa-P for the beautiful songs you shared with us and I'm heartbroken that you're gone so early. May you rest in peace and your songs will live eternally. We love you.

  • @deisbxn
    @deisbxn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    He should be 25 now.

  • @AskDak
    @AskDak 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Remind me of this song please

    • @Justlynx24
      @Justlynx24 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Ok

    • @Pabloto-dq3sx
      @Pabloto-dq3sx 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Wake up brother, you better get onto this masterpiece soon.

  • @hanten1784
    @hanten1784 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    i remember that i ve read somewhere that Powa said about the wonderful world after death. i hope he reached it, Rest in Peace Shiina-san, you were the best composer for me

  • @madaophilippines8418
    @madaophilippines8418 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    He was comparing himself to someone. There is another persona on the lyrics. "I could become like you, no matter what, id be happy right?"
    And in the lyrics, he was pertaining on how his test paper (life) was full of red marks.
    See how his last lyrics ended? 0. He thought he was useless and eventually succumbed to depression

  • @songofmoss
    @songofmoss 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    its been 4 years. thank you, again

  • @rainy8577
    @rainy8577 7 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    It's been 2 years. This song still breaks my heart to listen to. Though I've always believed that artists like him are never truly gone if people still listen to their music. In a way, he lives on through what he created.
    Nonetheless, I really hope wherever he is now, that he is at peace. Thank you so much for all your hard work. We miss you, and you will never be forgotten.

    • @OneClick2go
      @OneClick2go 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Billions of people create die everyday and they didnt create nothing to be lived through

  • @fake_Zensy
    @fake_Zensy หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    "the body you existed in, since you existed" hits hard

  • @chuckelcrack6898
    @chuckelcrack6898 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    It's been 9 years and the truth is that your songs are a success and I like them a lot. I hope you are happy with the decision you made and greetings wherever you are.

  • @ladnavar
    @ladnavar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    this is my perspective on this tragic song,
    I'm going to delve into one of the main reasons why I believe Shiina Mota was depressed. possibly the main reason
    (the search for meaning: spoiler):
    [this is gonna be long, and deep.. so I would recommend you only read it if you have time and interest in Art.]
    in the first half of the song It seems he is admiring his own bizarrely progressive art..
    and that is how many many of his songs feel to me; what I mean is I'm almost certain that a main theme of his work is the act of observing creation itself,
    and I'm just gonna put this out there:
    the process of creation, especially to someone depressed, can be extremely alluring but also strange and fucked. .let me elaborate
    there is an unavoidable distance that any artist will experience when viewing his completed artwork.
    I would liken it to looking at a picture of yourself a couple months ago,
    knowing that at the time the picture was taken you were experiencing things that are very distant from your current experience.
    sometimes it feels bizarre, sometimes nostalgic, but often.. you don't feel anything.
    it's like you are not the person in that picture..
    Powa simply stands at the beginning and ending of this song, and it's all one big circle.
    I presume he felt like his life itself was one big circle, (one distant picture..) and viewed it as meaningless. as Zero.
    ..
    I'm finding it really hard to not relate, rather impossible really as I am an artist myself. I see the Red in his pen as his own blood.
    maybe I should call it Inspiration.. no one can be constantly inspired. all pens run out someday.
    (although they can be refilled)
    He comments writing with the Red Pen on top of this uncertain world,
    and that must mean that through his art he is giving some meaning to life and 'correcting' it.. But, he is ultimately not able to become his own art.
    Art might be like pure meaning, but humans are the artists and also survivors, bound to be unsatisfied so as to continue living and seeking meaning..
    basically, time flows. things change. we can not always be pure beings, lost in the experience of life. we can not always be children.
    I really didn't like this song when I first heard it.. I was scared to see the meaning behind Powa's words
    he was a true expert at conveying a lot with only a few abstract words, and that's why the ending of this song felt dry and ugly to me.
    I read it as "Life is Meaningless.", when it probably meant, "My life was meaningless." and that's just sad as fuck
    ..:'(
    if there's something you can take away from this messy comment, it's
    1. Powa was obviously intrigued by the process of creation, but
    2. he felt a natural disassociation between himself and his creations, and it must have bothered him because
    3. his songs were like red ink and using them he tried to correct the world and give meaning to it
    unfortunately at the very end of this song he seems to have failed, but maybe 'healthy end' paints a different picture..

    • @goawaynerd3824
      @goawaynerd3824 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      this is a kind of old comment, but really beautiful words, thanks for this

  • @Gandeloft
    @Gandeloft 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is a very beautiful song with hints of sadness coming from each second of the song.

  • @verme666.
    @verme666. ปีที่แล้ว +2

    i dont know why or how, but even the events that has happened, i can still relate to this- may he rest in peace even tho a lot of time has passed.

  • @BloomBlanche
    @BloomBlanche 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I always feel tense listening to this song because of his death. Rest in peace, Shiinamota, we still haven't forgotten you