No One Wants Our Stuff ( Sharing Something Really Personal )
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ก.ย. 2024
- No One Wants Our Stuff ( Sharing Something Really Personal )
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If there was anything I would change after my father passed, I would not take one thing from his house. He had antiques and all kinds of really nice things and he wanted me to take all the family silver, and everything in the kitchen and dining room. He also wanted me to take his bedroom furniture because it had been in the family for over 150 years. I respected his wishes, but 20 years later, I'm slowly getting rid of all it. Anything that my siblings and I didn't take from the house was sold in an estate sale. I feel burdened and my house looks like a museum. Anyway, my suggestion is to pair down your stuff before you pass away. I'm 67 now and I am getting rid of anything I haven't used in a year or I just don't want. Currently I'm getting rid of books. I have hundreds of books. I thought when I retired that I would be reading all of them. Well, 7 years after my retirement I've read 1 or 2 of those hundreds of books. They are out of here. Purge all the stuff in your kitchen you haven't used in a year. I donate all year round. I always have a donation box going. And don't worry that it is "nice" stuff. Let it be someone else's nice stuff. Make their day when they go hunting at the thrift stores. I don't even sell the stuff. Someone else can sell the stuff. In the end, it is all just stuff. Let it go.
Great suggestion about decluttering now, @9liveslisa.
It took years to get this stuff it will take time to get rid of it too.
Well said.
I love this.
I could have written your comment 100% agree. Museum!! My house too after 9 years since Mom died. Getting RID of it!!! It's not an insult to her memory, it's time to make MY memories. And they involve NO clutter!!!
We got rid of 50 percent of our stuff and now we actually enjoy life instead of constantly moving and cleaning things.
Sounds good
That is what that book "Swedish Death Cleaning" is all about. Decluttering so your estate doesn't have to deal with your unwanted excess crap.
Dawn, so many of us are going through exactly the same thing and we really need to see this video! What has just motivated me to keep on working on my basement (we have been in this house 41 years) is that our 85 year-old neighbor just died suddenly and his wife was placed in assisted living by the sons. The last week TRUCKLOADS of their possessions have been taken out of their house. When I saw how much stuff there was on their lawn it was a real wake-up call to me to not pass on any clutter to our grown daughters!
I'm 56 now. Spent my whole life since I was a kid adding stuff to my prized Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac collection. Sold it all off on ebay a few yrs ago. I'd rather have sold it off to people that would appreciate it then have my family throw it all away in a dumpster when it's my time.
One persons trash is another person’s treasure….i was a single parent…most of what I had came from thrift stores..it really helped us out…now I donate to help others ..,,there is joy in giving
I love the perspective that there is joy in giving! There have been many times that thrift store items have been a blessing to me. When we could barely afford groceries I was able to buy some loaf pans at the thrift store and start making our bread homemade for 1/10 of the cost of a grocery store loaf.
There really is joy in giving! When we did Mum and Dads place a bunch of items went to an apartment for a family in a new place after being without a home- it was wonderful!
I DO THINK you have the very best fugal channel with frugal spending. We love you Dawn, you are our mentor .Sometimes it is very hard for a person to get rid of what they think are valuable items. I am still going thru my Mother and Dad's thing from when they came to live with me at different times before they passed away. Both had a lot of memorabilia.What a workout going thru each box. So much history and memories. It has literally taken me years as I was always putting it off. Do the best you can Dawn, we are behind you 100 percent. You are our treasure. Love 💕 from Debbie 🙋🧑🦽 and Dexter-Dog 🐕🐾 my sweet tiny rescued Chihuahua 🐕 companion living 🏠🌴 a quiet crafty life in southern California. 🙋🧑🦽🐾🐕🏠🌴😟😵💫🥴✝️😎🙏
I know exactly how you feel. My husband is a pack rat. He's packing up his sister's home for her to move in with us. So far, he has 40 bankers boxes filled with important papers. We went through this when his parents passed away. Every scrap of paper that was written on was considered important. I told him that his sister has one 14x14 foot room, and not a single box will come into the rest of the house. He's planning to rent a climate-controlled storage unit. I hate clutter, so I don't understand the obsession with keeping paper. My chest is getting tight just thinking about it, lol. Great video! Love to all, Linda 💕
@@3TXSisters oh my! I truly feel your pain. It’s a great step to store it away from the home. I scanned a LOT of items for Mum (old financial and paper invoices-30 years!) whittled down to a more manageable bunch of boxes. I don’t get it. My husband- same with the paper. I think all of them are waiting for technology to fail so they can feel good about it 🤣♥️.
Dear Dawn,
I commend you for a VERY authentic video. I have a lot of empathy for you, your situation.
I was married to an extreme hoarder and it became overbearing and neglectful on his part. It was this compulsion he just literally couldn't resolve. Anger swelled if the topic came to the surface.
I am now a Minimalist, chosen this year. It has been quite cathartic. I have had to be the one to dispose of one's life after death, my mother's, and it scarred me. I had no help.
When you open a shower curtain to reveal stuff this speaks volumes. I'm not watching nor responding to judge or criticize but I will tell you is that you indeed have a problem. It's not that you need to FIND space, you need to depart of many things.
In minimalism I find that necessities are counted by the number but by the
Importance. One cabinet with 4 pots
Another cabinet with 3 useful small appliances.
As for books and movies. Books are to be read then shared. Let go, so others have the experience. Same with movies. How many times unless cherished will you watch the same movie? Let go.
Your garage brought back a memory and it was alarming. You need to sit with your spouse, share your final plans...and say, if he should pass, you do not want nor have the energy to have to discard all his hoarding. It's not kind, it's not necessary, and it puts a barrier where there could be freedom.
Perhaps extra cash to sell all of it. It's not a necessity all piled up in a locked space.
I'm sorry you are in this situation, and I honestly believe you posted this video because you need help, you desire support, and perhaps seeking direction to do what would bring you peace.
Kate
Illinois
I totally agree. I feel so badly for her..
You 💗 are sweet 😋 ❤️
Very nicely worded, and not judgemental at all.
One of the best replies here. As we age we have to decide what things we are going accept from our spouse - and stuff can be a surprisingly tough subject. My older brother married a wonderful woman who early on began packing rooms with stuff. He tolerated this as part of the package, but then when they moved the last time he came up with a solution (or so he thought). He went and rented a very large two car sized storage unit and told her that was where all of her stuff was going - and that she could visit it whenever she wanted. He explained that he wanted to be able to have a guest room where guests could actually stay - vs. having rooms filled with stuff. This seemed to work for many years, but in the last year when I have visited I noticed lots of boxes stacking up in their house - so I guess the storage unit has moved back into their home.
I think we need to ask ourselves, why do we think anyone would want our stuff? We bought it for us, not for anyone else. I don’t even get why it’s a thing that the older generation thinks people want their stuff, to be honest. We’re all overwhelmed with stuff and don’t need more. I applaud you for dealing with your own stuff. Good work!
My sister was such a hoarder that after she died it took us 10 months of grueling work to clean out her two houses and other buildings before the property was sold.. I learned to slowly start hacking away at my own clutter after that. My partner was a pack rat and blew through all his money buying things we didn't need. (That was one of the reasons we parted ways nearly ten years ago!)I never wanted my adult children to feel such misery and resentment for me like I experienced for those two people leaving all that mess for me to clean up! And you are right, nobody wants all that stuff we accumulate! I gave away a lot of furniture and household appliances to my cleaning lady's family as some had lost theirs in a flooded basement apartment and another family had had a housefire. Every week i have at least one trash bag full of declutteted items. I take 5 or 10 minutes and just walk around tossing things either in the trash or in the donation box. If I do it for more than a few minutes at a time, I lose interest! 😅
I am so sorry 😞
A few years ago, my collector husband decided he was done with all the extra stuff taking up room in our house and garage. We rented a dumpster and started cleaning house. I didn't feel bad about throwing out good stuff because a few dumpster divers found our stuff and rescued the good stuff! They were in the dumpster every day. Finally, after 15 years of not being able to use the garage for our car, we had a clean spot. I continue to declutter and it feels good and I feel lighter.
That is awesome!
We can’t leave ours out or people will dump their own stuff in it. Has to go in the garage.
To me, one of the perks of owning a home is having a garage for our cars. We have always made sure both our cars are parked in the garage away from hail, tree sap, and just the elements in general. Our cars are more valuable than any of the junk we are storing!
@@penelopeprimrose90 us too. All our neighbors use their garages for junk storage. Horrifying when they open their garage doors
@@p.sherman3158 Yes! We are one of the few neighbors that use our garage to park our cars. I don't understand the need to have all that stuff stacked up to the rafters.
Love that you keep things real. Not easy to compromise sometimes but it's helpful. Today I am going to spend 30 min decluttering a drawer or two. Will continue this each day until the whole dresser is done.
Thank you
Oh that's a good idea! I've been trying to do everything in one day. So hard.
My late fiancé of 15 years was a master pack rat. I am a neat freak so it was a constant source of contention between us. I grew up in a solidly middle to upper middle class family; he grew up dirt poor in Cuba until his family fled Cuba when Castro took power. He was poor growing up in Florida and held onto everything “just in case.” He was always prepared for hurricanes 😂 because he lived through Hurricane Andrew in 1992 so we had lots of survival gear when Hurricane Sandy came along in 2012. So some of his stuff was good to have. I tried to just live with the clutter. He died suddenly at age 58 in 2013 and omg what an effort it was to declutter my home. I gave a lot of things to his adult children including all the money in his bank account and his car. They in turn helped me by going through his stuff and taking a good amount of it, but it was still a lot to get rid of at a time when we were all grieving. Please people, don’t do that to your family. Declutter often.
This was very interesting. We are in our 70’s, married 58 years. We’ve live I in our house for 44 years. Have so much stuff!!! My husband hates to get rid of anything. Plus my daughter lives with us and doesn’t stop buying things! It is hard when you can’t get rid of other people’s things
OK you need to sit hubby down in a comfortable chair. with a cup of coffee or tea I am doing this with mine I bring him one item at a time make him decide yes or no .if he wants to keep it must leave the house. and go to the garage in our case
maybe you should start with garage.
you mentioned stuff could even be from last family.. Have a lawn sale donate to good will.
I know your time is precious but you will appreciate and feel better after your are done. You could even put on some nice music to make the ordeal not so daunting. If he will get rid of x amount you will make his favourite dinner. Just like kids they seem to need incentives.
Doing this with double car garage, has not seen a car in 30 yrs.
40 ft storage sea worthy container. 3,000 sq ft barn. and two travel trailers. Now a lot of it is mine so I am working on this stuff.
We loved to go to garage sales and auctions with the concept of reselling some of this stuff. Just havent got there yet/ and now we want to move it will take us at least 2 yrs to divest ourselves of stuff.
START NOW
COLLEEN
Pack up your favorite items to take to your new place. Call an auctioneer to come sell the rest. They can sell on site or take it to their auction house. And you're done within a few months instead of two years.
When my mom died 5 years ago, we gave 10's of thousands of dollars of her stuff away. None of her 6 children needed anything. My brothers and sisters have already told me that they ARE NOT going thru my stuff when I die and I better declutter now
I hear you
I like your channel because you are real. Not because you're frugal. (I'm way more frugal.) I watch you because you are encouraging.❤
She is such an encouragement to so many of us, isn't she? I can always count on Dawn to brighten my day with her videos and her upbeat personality.
@@gmh56 yes. And she kind of sounds like home to me with her accent.
I appreciate that!
Ahhh
My mom will not get rid of anything. All 5 grandchildren have told her they don’t want it! I don’t want it. We all have houses with our own things. Wish she would pass it on so someone could love and use it instead of her storing
My husband, passed away, last Sept., and my family and I, donated his movies, 99% of them to the local Library, we donate books, now and them,.
@@Jean.A.squirrelThanx, good to know!
I am sorry to hear about your husband
Ever since the pandemic, none of the libraries in my world will accept anything at all.☹️
When it cools down have a yard sale whatever’s left put on curb or donate. I have never understood how people kept the garage full of junk nothing worth anything yet leave their second biggest asses CARS out in the weather.🤦♀️
My thought too
Lol
Depending on the climate a garage may not be good for the car. If it is wet and/or humid it is better that the car can be thoroughly wind dried.
Me too!
Exactly! The car is more valuable than everything in that garage combined. Hail, tree sap/pollen, piles of leaves, ice, scorching sun fading the upholstery. One of the perks of living in a house is garage parking!
This is a very hard subject to deal with. My father is 88 and lives on the other side of the country. His house is filled with stuff. Every bit of space is taken. It’s clean but I have so much anxiety about it because I’m going to inherit the mess. Ive taken this to heart and have been getting rid of everything because I don’t want to do that to my kids. I’m keeping the things that have value and that I love, like antiques, but the rest can go. Another thing I learned is that you can only purge your things. Some people have a deep emotional attachment to their stuff. My father grew up with nothing so I understand why he hoards it. Do a little at a time and you’ll start to feel better.
This comment is so encouraging
Very true. People are attached to possessions. They can usually toss someone else's "junk" but struggle more with their own. Today's trend is more towards miminimalism but 40 years ago, people had 2 sets of dishes, crystal and gadgets. There are companies who specialize in estate sales, that might make clearing an inherited "collection" easier for you.
Those of us in our 60’s and 70’s were raised by parents who grew up during or soon after the depression. The depression mentality adds to the need to stockpile and save items.
I'm not a minimalist, but all that stuff would drive me nuts. I still have a lot of stuff to declutter, but nothing like that! Gave me anxiety watching this. God bless ya!
It really wasn’t that bad. She knows she needs to find the time and it’s hard with work etc. I see you have clear sections so it is easy to reduce each area. Your husband will not lose his piles they will just get smaller. I understand. 🇺🇸🙏💙🌺
I wouldn’t want my children to be burdened by my stuff after I pass. I want to prepare well, so they have pure good memories of me.
I had no choice but to pare down……I moved from a large unit to a container unit on my family’s property. I have really enjoyed decluttering my space. Still at it…..At 70, I recognise that I really need very little in my home. Extra blankets….yes
Extra food…..yes
But the books, DVD’s and knickknacks have been sent to the Opportunity Shop (Thrift Store)
It’s amazing how an uncluttered living space frees the mind. I know my cupboards are clean and only contain the things I need.
Sharon from Australia 🇦🇺 🦘
Hmmm! I see a future declutter video or 2 in the future.
We moved house 16 years ago, to our current address. As we were packing our stuff, at the previous house, I put some items out on the street as giveaway. Three days later everything was still there. I just wanted it gone and refused to pay for rubbish dump fees. Day 4 I put prices on everything and it was all gone within an hour. Goal achieved. No, I didn't really want any money for those goods but it encouraged others to help themselves.
I'm actually doing a small op shop/thrift store drop off tomorrow.
Lol, I suspect my neighbors wait til I leave the house when I leave stuff on the curb. I put a free/gratis sign but no one comes at all. I leave for church & an hour later everything's gone! 😁
It's taken me 36 years to get to the end of giving away, mailing off, goodwilling, yard sailing, estate sailing, throwing away, and making art, crafts and quilts to abandon from the four households of things I had inherited. Start where you are today, and don't feel bad if you can't bear to part with some of the things. Do your research and give the best of the things to a cause you care about. Take photos of what you want to remember and set that stuff free.
I feel bad for you Dawn. I got anxiety just watching that. It feels so good to declutter. It brings a breath of fresh air to the house. Maybe your daughter could speak about it to her dad. Let him know that she doesn’t want to be burdened by all his stuff that he is not using. Best of luck to you 💜.
Good advice. Just a small area is enough of a start to get you motivated.
@@donnamclaughlin9215
Some folks just don’t know where to start. We’re helping a friend who is 74… his wife died 3 years ago and he’s so overwhelmed. But everything he has now is all of his stuff. Their kids all got what they wanted of their mom’s
I gave 11 pieces of vintage wonderful furniture to a thrift store that I know hires handicapped people. At least I know somebody has a job handling my vintage furniture.! My family moved from home with a 5 car garage in Ham Lake, MN to Florida in in 4 Pods..each Pod was 5x7. 8 ft high . They do not want any of my stuff..lol
I was just thinking… maybe you can have a talk with your hubby… or for anyone married with someone who is more of a pack rat… ask them, when they’re gone, do you think it fair that our kids or grandkids now have to decide what to do with all our stuff ?
My mom was a pack rat. After she died, my dad was like “get rid of it “. He downsized from a 4,000sf home they lived in for 50 years, to an 800sf 2 bedroom apt, with room to spare. 👍🏻
I love things that have a duo purpose. For your extra blankets, get an ottoman for your couch that has storage in it. Or, see what’s in that old chest, maybe get rid of the old yearbooks and store the blankets there.
I have areas too I need to declutter. One space at a time. 🤞🏻
Thank you for your honesty, Many of us are dealing with the same issue.
I am sorry you’re going through this. My parents use to work at flea markets back in the 1980’s when most people didn’t know what they were selling at garage sales. My parents use to go junking on the weekends to buy stuff to sell for a profit at their flea market stand. I spent several weeks getting rid of their stuff after they died. As for myself, I am a practicing minimalist. All my movies, books and music are stored digitally. All my personal documents are stored digitally except for my social security card and birth certificate which I store in a small personal safe. Tell your husband that he can probably watch most of his old movies on vhs tapes on free streaming services like Pluto, Tubi and FreeVee.
My concern is a fire hazard. Perhaps you can get him an outside shed. Hoarders never give up items. Cannot win with a hoarder.
Good point
I’ve been cleaning out our parents home. I’ve vowed not to do this to our children.
Maybe come from the angle that half of the garage is yours and you want your side back to do with what you wish?
Dawn you are my favorite frugal living channel because of how honest and encouraging that you are. I appreciate all that you share on your channel. I can relate to this situation very much. I have been decluttering all of my things in the past year hoping it would encourage my husband to do the same, but he thinks my stuff is junk, and his stuff is treasure. Lol. My father never got rid of anything when I was growing up, despite it stressing my mom out, and you could barely move in our basement and the cars had to sit in the driveway because the garage was loaded full
I love this comment
Why is it other people see our treasures as junk? My husband is too dollar oriented when it comes to decluttering but Is too lazy to sell items to make room.
Another motivation I use is the threat to sell our paid for home and buy one that’s larger (and more expensive). Old tightwad did let a significant number of his keepsakes go such a the Boy Scout camping cookstove, a 50 year old canvas tent, and hiking boots that no longer fit.
I started selling all my stuff online before my latest move. I did not bring much other than kitchen stuff and the best clothes. It has been such a huge relief mentally
How wonderful ❤️
We have no clutter, period. We took care of that years ago.Our garage is for cars, ladders and tools only. In my neighborhood there are so many with a cluttered up garage and their cars in the street. The homes range from 1533sqft up to 2200 sqft, with 2 car garages. You should convince your husband to clean out the garage so you can park the car in it. It prevents dry rot on tires, interior getting destroyed and paint loosing its shine, clear coat peeling. The sun is very damaging to cars. I would never allow my husband to have all this clutter nor would he allow me to do so. We're not getting younger, the more you get rid off now, the better.
We donate to American Veterans. They pick up.
Granny Linn: I also donate to Veterans and I did all last year monthly. Took photos of everything on porch for 12 pickups! I start again in July. Have been doing lawn and clearing out garage this month.
Other places may pick up furniture only. It’s worth liking at websites and calling as to what items are restricted. Tools are I. Great demand all the time.
Dawn I can see the anxiety / frustration creep into your face during the video. It feels amazing to be able to bless someone with any items you can donate. It will also lighten your heart! You need to just pick an area and start there ! No judgement at all. Sending hugs.
One thing my husband and I did was designate 2 shelf units in our basement-one for me and one for him. Whatever we want to keep goes on our shelf-no questions asked. If we find something else we want to keep and it won’t fit on our shelf, we’ve got to purge something else to make room! I don’t understand why he still wants some of the stuff he’s saving and he doesn’t understand why I’m saving some of the stuff I save, but we don’t say anything about the other person's shelves.
I am in the EXACT situation! We had to rent a large moving pod so we can put stuff in it from the house just to get new flooring. He has agreed to declutter and only bring back in what is absolutely needed/wanted. I am tired of living in clutter for 32 years and I think he may finally be understanding. 🤞🏼
So sorry for your daughter. She’s the one who has to handle all that stuff. That’s a whole lot of stuff. I totally understand how that happens. Keep trying!
Being a minimalist I think it will be easy for her to get rid of it. They can be quite brutal throwing stuff out and it will easier as she doesnt have the same attachment to them her parent have.
If I were in your shoes, I would make a lot more space by building shelves in the garage and organizing and declutter every item in there. As for the blankets, you can save space by buying a couple of those bags that you vacuum seal with your vacuum and put them on a top shelf until they’re needed.
That's a great idea!
I want to see the garage now! 😊😁
Dawn, you do such a fantastic job with frugality, now it’s time to tackle your stuff. Since u have Sunday night family meetings, it would be a great time to discuss with everyone how all 3 of u are going to tackle your clutter. Maybe come up with a plan to get a certain amount of things done and report back @ your weekly Sunday meetings. Books, vcr and tapes (since u said the vcr doesn’t work), board games, decor (I was shocked how many cabinets u have taking up decor), and that hope chest. Then when it is cooler outside, the garage. I am speaking from experience. An area @ a time helps to make it more manageable…
You are so encouraging
We decided to move from our large 2800sq foot house to a 1200sq foot house during the 2nd year of the pandemic. Obviously, that means we had to get rid of a lot of stuff.
We had a storage unit for the first year as we sorted through and sold stuff.
For us, having less stuff means less cleaning. A smaller house means we kept what actually makes us happy.
Sounds good
I found out something recently that was interesting. I recently moved from a house that I owned for almost 40 years. About 5 years prior I did a huge amount of decluttering to that house, to the point that I truly believed it would take about 2 weeks to pack when I decided to sell the house. 6 months into the getting ready for sale process, I realized just how wrong I was! What started out as being very meticulous and organized (because hey, I could 'pack in 2 weeks, right?') - turned into just putting everything into any box I could find as the months ticked away. Fast forward to the day I moved into new house: boxes everywhere - I could hardly move! The first month was devoted to making just my bedroom minimalized and perfect and finding my essentials that I needed to live. The second month was devoted to contractors doing their thing. Now I'm into the third month and planned to resume the unpacking. Here's what's interesting: I have lived here for two months and except for the items that I took out during that first month, I have rarely had to look in those unpacked boxes - nor even care what is in them! That means that 90% of the items that I packed are basically non-essential. Sure, some things are must-keeps, like important paperwork and clothing for the other seasons. But I wonder just what is in those mountains of boxes that I have everywhere??
Good to know
I loved this video. Thank you for doing it. Can you please make a series about decluttering? My bedroom is awful due to it being small. I've pretty much done the rest of our place but could really use motivation in the bedroom. I have severe depression, and I could really feel better if i could just get this done. Thank you. I love your channel so much. Another thing to consider, as you age, you start getting health problems or tire more easily. It's better to get rid of stuff NOW before that stuff happens.
Yes, I have one coming
I'm with you. I have a shed filled with tubs that I haven't looked in for 7 years. I'm clearing them out one by one, every week. It's liberating to get rid of useless junk. Clutter is annoying!
Good for you
You are needed and appreciated..
Thank you
I set a girl of giving at least one thing daily and throwing away one thing daily. Some days I look hard to find things but I always do.
I totally hear you Dawn!! I don't go into our garage if I don't have to. I can never find anything anyway. My hubby is a mechanic & yes I have a lot of crap from my younger years in there as well but it gives me major anxiety.. Thank you for the video, it's time to de clutter some stuff!!!
I relate
Books & movies are available online, no need to hold onto hard copies.
If I have more than one of something, I donate all the others. All flat surface Furniture pieces should have storage capabilities. We Split bulk food with another household.
We sold everything (except what we could fit in our car) and went minimalist when we moved to a 1200 ft house for our retirement (60yo). It was very cathartic. My three daughters took what they wanted and the rest was sold or donated. We repurchased used smaller stylish furniture to fit our smaller space and love it. With no clutter the visual noise is absent and calming.
75% of my bell Fibe pvr is filled with all my very most favorite movies, which are watched on a regular basis. Will not eliminate them! The other 25% of pvr room is used for watching some shows, series I've missed then eliminated. This works out great!
My neighborhood has an annual rummage sale. I put out a huge tarp, put a “FREE” sign in the yard and fill up the space with decluttered stuff. I don’t put out junk, just excess. It feels so good watching people pick up stuff all day long. In the end I have very little left and that goes into the garbage bin.
Love that idea. So many people in our own neighborhood that need help. Free to a good home!
You will not miss 99% of what you declutter. If you do miss an item?? That's why Ebay, Etsy, thrift stores, and yard sales exist!!!
Dawn, Im sorry you are dealing with this. Clutter has such a huge effect on your mental and physical health. Most people don't realize this though. 😢
So true
thank you Dawn for being "raw and real".....I have declutterd alot of things.... and I haven"t felt a difference. its in the knowing I did the task that makes me feel better to continue. I do have a lot of things, and i can find something when I need it... My husband is always misplacing things and I haveto spend time almost on a daily basis to help him find stuff!!! I try to tell him how much better he would feel.. the words go in one ear and out the other.....there are so many of us on this decluttering video that had the same mind set in our 20, 30, 40 to buy buy buy.....know we can declutter and clean, clean ,clean
When you are married, there is no ‘his stuff’ , it’s ‘ours’. Start small one cabinet at a time. If you get rid of ‘his’ stuff, 😊he will not even notice that is gone. Sometimes you need to take charge of the situation. Guys are hard to motivate to clean up. I just slowly throw away his stuff and it’s never missed.
Be careful. That practice can backfire on you!
After 30 plus years together im not afraid of anything backfiring 😁
Wow that's a lot of stuff. Very brave of you to put that out there for everyone to see. Maybe you can convince hubby that it wouldn't be fair to leave it all for your daughter to clean it up afterwards. I guess that all you do is to declutter all of your stuff as best as you can and maye you might be able to inspire others to join in.
Good idea!!
Money Mama don't feel bad. My house is 10x worse! I am working on it though.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! As the nest has emptied items once used alot are no longer used and are just taking up space.
Declutter all the time. Still no end to it. STILL too many dishes, books in every room too. DVDS, CDs, chairs, craft material too. Offer my family to take some stuff. Best success was my sister taking some dishes for her large, busy household.
No one wants the books mostly classics in good condition. Better success with popular modern authors. Rarely buy books now. Will continue to donate to charity shops but I am beginning to realise that some of it will have to be binned or put in a dumpster because as you say NO ONE WANTS IT. Alot of the younger people do not like too much stuff.
Such an important topic. So glad you brought it up. Sooo honest!
Thank you
Please don't be embarrassed. No one is perfect! Your honesty is refreshing and sincere.
I love you
I completely empathize with you, Dawn! I'm 52, and my husband and sons hate getting rid of anything. We live in a 1300 sq ft, 1940s home with zero storage. I'm bad about letting stuff go too, but I've been actively decluttering the last year or so. With each car load that leaves, I can feel my stress levels going down. Also, it's getting much easier to clean my house, because I have less piles of clutter to move before I can clean. I watch the "Minimal Mom," and "A Slob Comes Clean" for motivation and tips. Their methods really work for those of us with overwhelm or short attention spans. (Not saying you have that, but I certainly do!)😅
Keep at it Dawn, it took years to accumulate, and will take time to go through it all, but you'll be so much less stressed, and happier! You absolutely can do this!❤ Lol, I tell myself the same thing. 😁 You've got this!😊
So true
Thank you for sharing this Dawn, I’m motivated to declutter my home even further. Just cancelled my Amazon order,. Thank you
Prevent clutter, don't buy!! I go to the mall for fun, don't buy but say to myself (and laugh) "If I buy this, my whole life will change!"
I see its not just me with a house full of things that nobody wants, including me. I dont know why its tough, but sometimes i look at something and think...ive had this for 30 years, i cant throw it away. Or else if i do i know there will come that exact moment where if i just had that thing i have a perfect use for it. Thank you for sharing. Peace✌️
Try watching decluttering videos or organizing experts/shows like the home edit and Marie Kondo. It will give you lots of ideas and motivation 😊That’s what I did during the pandemic when we were all stuck in our tiny house during shutdowns. It became a fun challenge for me
I love your honesty! I am not alone, we share many issues. I am so very grateful for your channel ❤
Thank you so much!
Omg, gf. Your house is full for sure. That's a lot of fuel for a fire. Some people have a hard time letting go of the past. My view is that you can't move forward when you have so much weighing you down. Back in January I finally closed out my storage unit after using it for years. I got tired of paying somebody to hold my stuff, so last fall I started weeding down a bit at a time. I made 12 donation trips. I would have preferred to pare my stuff down at home but I just didn't have enough space. I've gone from having 40 totes(yes, 40!)down to 9. It wasn't easy letting go of some stuff but it was necessary to accomplish my goal. I didn't want to continue dragging my past into the future. I wish you a LOT of luck getting some cooperation from your loved ones in this decluttering process. When your living space can finally "breathe", you'll feel a weight lifted.
Did you get rid of the totes too? That’s a hang up for me. “But suppose I need just this size to put something else in.” 😳
wow MM - you're really keeping it real ! it sounds like this video is really for one person and one person only!!! hubby!!
Nope! It's to inspire us and shows us that most people are struggling with clutter 💜
There is hope for pack rats even to change! My husband never used to want to get rid of anything and I now realize he used to be overwhelmed by it too. Now he is sorting and donating, tossing etc ... I led the way but gave up asking him to do his ... he actually got inspired to do it. Sometimes he would also get on board once I shared exactly my vision for a space... and offered to help him but let him make the "keep get rid of" decisions. Turned out he didn't realize that I could easily take it from there once he decided what to get rid of. He's even sold some things books, DVDs, & comics.
He told me it helped him watching some of the organizing shows like Clean House and Hoarders lol.
Wow, amazing
You do not have a key to the garage?
This looks like my house. I get rid of one item a day. I typically donate to the Special Olympics where they accept books, clothing, and shoes. Sometimes the item for the day must go in the trash. It gets easier once you feel anxiety lift each day. Love you ❤.
Love you too
So true! I'm not far behind you, Dawn, and it's so true 😭 I appreciate your honesty, your story, and how you word this situation.
Thank you so much!
I feel this, I feel like I've been decluttering all my life. Not just my stuff.
wow!!! you have a lot of stuff, its hard when spouses aren't on the same page on this subject, im a minimalist and i could never be with someone who has this much stuff , lol it would drive me nuts, that garage needs a garage sale desperately lol, thanks for the video and keeping it real!!!!!
I try to adhere to the if I haven’t touched it or used it in a year it’s donated. That said, I’ve got my fair share of clutter.
My boyfriend is a hoarder. I throw his stuff away when he leaves the house. Sometimes he notices, sometimes he doesn't. It's worth an occasional argument to keep the house clean.
I've been married for nearly 37 years. I give my husband 3 chances to get rid of old things taking up space, after that it gets thrown away, sold, or given to charity. If either of us buys a new piece of clothing, it is a 1 for 1 swap for something old to be disposed of.
I get this. It is frustrating when they aren't your things and you're trying to remain respectful about it.
Oh yeah
Thanks for sharing. I declutter all the time now I am 63 and my girls are 40 and 37 and they don’t want anything. We just gutted our kitchen and had a IKEA kitchen built. I got rid of half my kitchen stuff and as I put things away I get rid of more. Yesterday I did 10,000 steps decluttering my house. I am letting go of a 39 year old wood toy box that my girls don’t want. My mom got it for my daughter’s 1st birthday. I was using it to store memories stuff. My neighbor wants it that has grand kids. Trying to get rid of China Cabinet that I have had for 41 years. No charity will take it. Got rid of 1/2 my Christmas stuff and will get rid of more. They call it Swedish death cleaning so our kids don’t have to do it. Just focus on your stuff for now and maybe your husband will come around.
That is wonderful
Sentimental items don't seem to mean much to the young people of today, when mom or dad want the kids to keep special things. They say no thanks!
Hi Dawn, you and your followers are so on point. While we can, lets’s downsize and declutter NOW for sooooo many reasons ❤❤ Thank you and to all who posted , thank you for your encouragement and support. It makes a daunting task doable ❤❤
So true!
Oh my goodness....My heart is breaking for you Dawn. My family is like this as well it is just toooo much!!!! I know my anxiety stems from growing up in a hoarder house like this. I am a minimalist and a neat freak as an adult. I help others declutter now I really wish I could come to TX and help you. I am also sad because you're the one who worked and earned the money and now you can never retire because your money was wasted on useless stuff. You are in an abusive marriage maybe not physical but abusive non the less. : (
I love ❤️ you
@@CentsibleLivingWithMoneyMomI want to give you the biggest hug dear one!
I think my kids will be cursing my name when I die and they have to deal with my "junk" but I love it and use it right now so....they will have to deal with it. LOL.
Ha ha. Btw, I am eating one of your recipes from your fabulous cookbook.
When I inherited my mom’s things, many items I simply didn’t want. I took what I wanted and figured that this was HER stuff. It had already been loved, used enjoyed. I didn’t have to love it because it wasn’t mine-- give it away and let others love it .
Maybe you could talk to your hubby about renting a storage unit. Tell him that he doesn't need to get rid anything, but you'd just like to be able to park the car and have a little space. Check out facilities and their rates. (Very expensive for what you'd need). Maybe if he sees the cost, he would be motivated to declutter.
Great idea!!
This worked with my husband!!
Hello Dawn,
I have 2 pianos, sheet music and piano books, because I play for fun. My sons do not want my pianos and accessories after I kick the bucket. It was suggested to me to find good homes for them while I am alive so they don't find their way at the easement for trash pickup.
My younger son is a minimalist. When I asked him how he decided to be this way, his response, "Less stuff to move and lug around from points A to B when you move.
I stopped collecting stuff years ago because one I did not think I could afford them and if you want to sell it off you have to find a way to market the stuff for a buyer.
Enjoy your weekend.
Your son is smart
Oh my this is perfect timing! Im turning 55 and im purging as much as I can. My hubby can not be home as I clean out. He does not like to toss. Why do men not like to get rid of stuff?
You are so right
Some women don’t like to get rid of stuff too.
❤ and true story!!
In 2022 we decided it was time to move to an independent senior living apartment complex. There were good reasons for this choice, but here's the part that relates to STUFF: We went from 1500 square feet to 900 square feet. In other words we lost 2-3 rooms of space.
Don't wait until you HAVE to get rid of stuff! Our move would have been so much easier without having to deal with it all.
Just one example: No one wants VCR tapes any more! They aren't good for anything! Libraries won't take them. Some thrift stores won't take them either--they will just throw them in the trash! We had tapes we hadn't watched in ten years, which means they were worthless to us as well.
They all went! Do we miss them? NO! It was some kind of mythology that we needed to have those useless objects.
Great point
I can certainly relate! Fortunately my husband has finally come around somewhat. I find that asking for 15 minutes of his time and letting him choose the time helps. Then I bring him a box of stuff and we go through it together. I tell him that he doesn't need to get rid of everything but we must go through it so we are not storing things we don't need or want. The process is slow and painful but we are making progress.
Quick idea blankets can be stored flat in between mattress and box spring. Hope this helps! Good Luck😀
Great idea!!
Oh my. Bless your heart. My father is a hoarder and it’s an absolute nightmare.
I come from a family of hoarders. I think it is great that you admit it isn't only his problem. You have been able to declutter at your own pace when you felt ready. I'm glad you respect his right to do the same. It may be for the best that you are not buying more stuff right now. Looking at the silver lining.
So true!
I love how real you are. No one lives a perfect life. Remember Jesus said that he who is without sin could cast the first stone, and no one could. We're here to uplift each other and learn from one another. In the case of living with a pack rat, I apply the serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I may not be able to downsize my husband's stuff, but I can declutter my own. I'm trying hard not to bring stuff into my house that I will later have to deal with. What I've realized is that even the thrift stores are picky about what they take and sometimes they don't even want what I bring them.
If I buy anything I have a system of going through and throwing out things that I no longer use.
I had a small assortment of stained glass lamps I would not get rid of ...even though my home is no where near grand enough for stained glass... they are all gone now and I do not regret it .. I was holding onto a memory of the lamps glory days more then anything.
I love to see your ideas and progress. We struggle with storage here. No basement. Garage actually stores the car. No shed. A very small attic. Less than 600 square foot 2 bedroom house for us and our 1 year old. It was fine for two of us but much tougher with three. Literally one closet in the whole house, so we have a couple wardrobes. We can't really have extra things. We actually probably have less than most people and it still feels like too much to me. I am selling things (mainly clothes, shoes, accessories) very cheap online, or donating them. Just trying to get comfortable in our space because we paid off the mortgage so it'll be really nice to remain in a place where we don't pay for housing, instead of going bigger with a loan. I'm American but moved to the UK 13 years ago so I got rid of a lot before I moved - I've had a lot of practice 😂 But it's still hard work!
I understand
My husband loves books and has quite the collection. They are overflowing the bookshelf and are stacked up in the closet too. Every now and then, I can get him to look through them and agree to get rid of one or two. He also does not routinely go through paperwork that he has saved, and it accumulates very quickly. I finally put my foot down and said we are going through it all and shredding what we no longer need. It was quite the undertaking and I made him promise to never let it get that out of hand again. One thing we do that is a positive, is we have always made sure both of our cars can be parked in our garage. That keeps the clutter in there to a minimum.
I watched this very issue on a news channel. People are having to sell there really nice china because the younger generation doesn't want things. Most are minimalist. They are cutting back on everything.
The really nice china was so expensive but now has to be hand washed and carefully treated so it is rarely used. The best china is durable and can be put in a microwave and dishwasher. If you want nice china, go to a charity thrift shop in a decent neighborhood and buy it by the piece, unmatched, as it shows up. There's no law that good china has to match. That way you can buy inexpensively.
I was a bit of a pack rat myself so I can empathize. The first things to donate or throw out are all of those movies and books. If they're not all yours get some large plastic totes or oversized ziplock storage bags and put them in there and stack them in the garage on top of all the other unused stuff.
I would try and consolidate all of the clutter from the house into the garage as step one. That way no one can say you threw it out. I saw lots of potential space in the garage if you stack. Once everything is consolidated in the garage you can slowly pick away at it. Deciding what to keep, donate or throw out. Try not to let "analysis paralysis" get in the way and just do it ASAP.
Thank you so much for sharing! Your channel is so real and honest! I am an only child, and will probably be in charge of cleaning out my parents home of 40 years in the midst of some medical emergency, but I sent them your video and politely begged them to consider my sanity, do me a solid, and start decluttering/rehoming now so it doesnt all end up in a dumpster later (since I live far away and wont have the ability to hang out for a month and rehome stuff myself.)
You are so sweet
I feel like if you could at least get the garage space a little more organised with shelving, making use of the vertical space etc you would have a little more room to store things out there that are not always needed in the house. Would your husband maybe be open to the idea of some re-organising/rearranging?
I love how real you are with us. You are right about the age thing. Joel and I are about to declutter our garage again. This time we are going to be looking at some of our relics of the past. 👍
Thank you
My husband who didn't want to recycle anything passed away last summer and it is sad selling and recycling his tools and "stuff" but it all has to go. I don't want to leave my daughter with all our stuff. Period. Good luck to you in the process. And, yes, I think of all the money we could have invested if we hadn't thought the need to buy unnecessary things. Budgeting and frugal living should be taught in schools. It would serve our kids better to learn that instead of some of the things they now teach.