You're a gem. I really appreciate your perspective as someone working to live a normal life in a party city. You're a nice counterpoint to a lot of the others that are on here reporting much narrower segments of experience of life there.
Pete, a very nice video, and your sincerity is appreciated. I don't drink so I guess that's one reason why I have no experience with bar girls, but I have true respect for everyone. A bar girl, whether she is making money on the side for dates or not, no matter. They are likely sending money home to family, maybe supporting a child when the father took off... or maybe they just have no education or the skills or mentality to work in an office or behind a cash register. They are seeking a happy life in their own way and I have nothing but empathy for them. Most guys are likely there to take advantage of them in one way or another, so for them to protect themselves and be somewhat self-serving is completely reasonable. Nice advice on making friends as we all get older. In a way though - and I'm 66 - getting older is a return to childhood. No one cares anymore how has the biggest house or the fanciest car, or who is the best looking. That baloney is sort of in the past. Put us on a court playing a game in a big group, and it's like being little kids again where you are just happy to be in a group and be open to making friends. I hope you continue the great work!
Yes, I respect them just as I do any other person. Everyone I have spent time talking with is sending money home and nearly everyone has a child or two they are taking care of. Many are the rudest child in the family and are therefor responsible for taking care of their parents as well.
if the girl is really into you, she will tell you to come pick her up after the bar closes so you don't need to pay the bar fine. just gotta be able to stay up until the bar closes at 2am lol
Smoker Garden is on Wednesdays and Sundays. It’ll be featured in next week’s video. I’ve only done the Jazz Pit for their Sunday Jam but I want to hit up a Friday or Saturday night to see what it’s like.
I’m sure there’s plenty of meet up groups. The video before this one talks about several Facebook groups that I’m a part of that do all sorts of meetups.
Very intuitive Pete & all you say regards friendship resonates with me . Friendships are forged through trust & being there for each other . For me that rules out bar girls as our priorities can never truly align . I have one true Thai friend .She worked in bar/restaurant , witty & sharp as a knife . Joined the staff on understanding would never be pressured to leave work unless someone of her choosing .Pressure was exerted for her to go with the bosses friends .Conflicts arose . We formed a friendship & at shift close she came to my hotel opposite to talk & improve our language skills . I frequently took her out of that environment & she would be my chaperone & vetter , much to the surprise of girls on learning from her we were not together .This went a small way to appease her boss whose attitude was " You work bar Pattaya you should be going with customer " . Only when a girl said to me " I've looked in her eyes & she's in love with you " did the full implication of our friendship finally dawn on me .The story took a different turn ,but friendships with bar girls are very rare but possible . She went on to bigger & brighter future , is fluent in 4 languages . I know we will be best friends for life & keep constant touch & meet up whenever possible .She was the one I let get away & 20 years on I have that regret because I was a player .
Great attitude. Exactly, the same here. The fact that there might be a transactional aspect doesn't mean that you can hang out and have a good time and if you treat them with respect and you are a nice dude, they will have an authentic good time too. Does this mean that you should move to Thailand to marry a bar girl, obviously not. Most times it won't work out. Just think that for the girls it is a difficult live too and have some compassion. We always focus on the farang that got reap off but how about the girls that meet a lot of creeps and weirdos? It is a difficult live for girls that have limited options in terms of employment and many of them do it to help their families. Hope this video does well because it is the best one I've seen on the subject and has such a positive vibe.
Thank you. Since filming I’ve watched a couple videos that approach the subject from a reasonable and respectful place. I’m really happy with the comments so far on this video. I was very hesitant to even touch the subject but it naturally came up while I was filming. It’s not a subject I looked into much before living here and this vlog has made me more interested with it in general. While my channel is not about this industry or lifestyle at all I think I might revisit it after some time. Thanks for leaving a respectful and thoughtful comment 🙏🏼
Like you say, just appreciate the times together, laughs together, and learning Thai, etc... For me older bar girls 30+ are my sweet spot as I am over 60. Its all good... until it isn't 5555 I have a few working girls who have been "friends" for over 3 years now. As you mentioned, the girls may disappear for a time, or get a real boyfriend who will take care of them and leave. Great talk on building friendships as how to listen. You are doing well Pete, think your channel here is one of the good ones. Kudos.
I agree with all of that and thank you for the positive response. I was hesitant to even broach the subject but the comments so far have been almost entirely respectful. 🙏🏼
Good advice Pete. I would also suggest that you also include the Thais who work in massage shops in addition to the bars. As you know, I went back to Europe to do some work for my ex employer and I needed someone that I could trust to look after my condo and to pay the paper based bills while I was gone. I chose my main masseur for this task, as he is very reliable and trustworthy. Before I left, I introduced him to the condo management, realty, and security teams so that they would understand in advance that I chose him and to support that decision. It is now 4 months that I am away and everyone, including myself, are very happy that he is taking care of my place and interacting with all of them on any issues that came up during my absence. It has been a great peace of mind.
I'm just not a bar person but it's cool you have found a way to have friends. I made friends at the gym and have a female Russian friend who has become a good friend and I have been training her as she is also a fashion model. For me personally, bars and drinking are not my scene. And good pointers on making friends. I am outgoing and friendly and make friends everywhere but so many people here just want to go about their own business and thats cool. I am running into people in our building and just over time I think they become friends. Many have GF and already occupied..lol
You definitely have that friendly ready to chat vibe about you. There’s a ton of cool people around here and you never know what someone is about until you start to talk with them a bit.
Met some good EXpats that live over in Pattaya and visit for months and yes there are some SHADY EXpats in Pattaya and Thailand and Philippines use common sense
Pete - thanks for the education. I never knew how the interactions of the bar girls and their patrons worked. In Oakland I once lived next door to a "happy ending" (and likely more) masseuse. Very attractive and classily dressed, she would often come out to stand next to the end of the hall window to have a smoke .. as I would be coming home from my nursing shift. She was very nice and seemed genuinely grateful to have someone, a man in particular, to talk with who didn't want anything from her other than polite conversation. I respected her a lot and found the bravery she must have to work with admirable. I never understood the bitter and angry expat types. But it is true, I do not trust them, even though I could easily pass as one myself lol. Why are you here? Clearly, it would seem, because you were not so happy in your own country. And as for the swindlers and con-men .. it just does not seem to be in the Thai DNA (I think primarily because of the Buddhist mindset) to take advantage of others. Does it happen? Yes, of course. But ironically enough, most of the crime and swindling overwhelmingly happens in the very places that expats and farang are often trying to exploit the Thais, like the bar girls. So to me .. fair game. I'm not sure I would the Thais I know as "friends", but I absolutely love seeing them everyday .. usually in the mornings when I'm getting my coffee and a roti or an omelet. Just good local people who I've run into at other times, like the coffee crew girls at a nearby 7/11 .. could not have been nicer. I am quite sure I could invite them to hang out, but my Thai language skills are so bad, and their English is so bad, that it would likely result in some awkwardness. I also once heard a very random, and solo, guitarist playing some Grateful Dead tunes in the middle of a mall in Chiang Mai. I introduced myself, we talked, and he invited me to come see his band the next night. Unfortunately, I was leaving the next day back for Bkk. And I do know other expats (Roaming Cook, The Retired Working for You crew) who do have genuine Thai friends. So, it certainly is possible. Again the language, for me, seems to be the primary barrier. Vitamin C drinks! Dude man .. get some freshy squeezed OJ! One of the biggest things I miss about the markets in Thailand. :) Carry on, Pete. Carry on.
You can definitely make friends with bar girls. If you are a cool guy, they will get also attached to you and care for you, like it is for human beings. Though, still need to be careful and don't trust anyone right at the beginning
Thank you 🙏🏼 Life is absolutely what you make of it and I’ve been fortunate enough to make out pretty well. If you haven’t yet, I’ve got some past videos you may find insightful and hopefully entertaining. I’d recommend my 5 Lessons from Laos 🇱🇦
It all comes down to you vetting the women and be straight forward with your intentions and ask her about hers , then you will know how to go forward .
I thought I have told you dozens of stories about shady expats. I haven't been caught up in anything, not for lack of effort on their part, but saw it play out firsthand with others. I am friends with a lot of bar girls, but if someone is going to do that, they need understand their line of work and the potential for a jealous husband/boyfriend as I'm sure you are well aware of as you've experienced it firsthand. But yea the transient nature of people in here in Pattaya especially has me asking people I meet that want to hang out if they are here long term or on holiday. I don't have the time or energy to invest in a relationship with anyone if it's just for a few weeks or months. As I'm sure I have stated this to you before. Anyways Safe travels, Happy Birthday, and enjoy Disney Land.... you weirdo.
Lol, it’s a motorcycle taxi guy I think. (That’s what the orange vests usually mean) I’ve been trying to figure out if he was flagging someone down of just getting some TH-cam fame.
Yes I stay in contact with a couple bar girls. We text often and have the odd video chat. I don't send them money. Just friendly girls. As long as your straight up and honest they'll mostly respect that.
Just like other people, they can’t all be categorized for having the same wants and intentions. It is reassuring to hear that I’m lit alone in these waters and to hear all the positive comments.
Good video mate, I feel I have made friends with bar girls also, no money exchanging hands, I've had some girls give me a ride, buy me food, drink and not ask for anything. But yes, as you say, you have to still have your head screwed on as for a lot of them it is all about the baht. Keep up the good content brother.
Thank you 🙏🏼 I regret not saying it I’m the video but bar girls are still people. Yes, most are in it for certain reasons but just like anyone from and demographic they can’t all be categorized in a certain box. Thai people in general are very friendly and kind and those traits can still be found in this type of industry.
You have to be careful with bar girls. As long as you keep that in mind, they are there to make money. I recommend you not getting into a relationship with them and giving them money on a regular basis. Don't get attached to them or start having feelings for them. They are very skilled at getting your money. Guys have killed themselves over bar girls.
This is very solid advice and I’ve heard similar tales. If you’re looking for a serious relationship in Thailand then there’s so many other places to look where the odds would be much greater for finding a successful one.
Thanks Pete! This is an angst I have about our move to Thailand, making meaningful and good friendships. Not enjoying small talk much, I am going to have to brush up on those skills but I also think it will be good for me to be outside of my comfort zone for personal growth. Thanks for your insights and motivating me to start thinking outside of my box 😊 you are truly a breath of fresh air in this world
Yup, I absolutely did lol Thanks for the correction, I truly appreciate it. I tend to find most of my mistakes while editing but honestly I’ve probably had that word wrong in my vocabulary most of my life. 🙏🏼
It's a good well measured delusion with a touch of realism. You are not Don Quixote. For learning the Thai language, might be one of the best tools you could find using the bar girls to converse with outside of class.
I’ve met a few actually they’ll meet me at the club after the get off work, at the end the night they’ll ask if they can come home with me and when I ask how much they say up to you if you want to give or not. I think just treating them with respect goes along way.
You can support me here:
www.buymeacoffee.com/peteonretreat
Brother your honesty and sincerity in all your videos is refreshing comparative to there channels. This video is testimony to all that etc.👍
I’m definitely an odd duck here lol
Thank you 🙏🏼
You're a gem. I really appreciate your perspective as someone working to live a normal life in a party city. You're a nice counterpoint to a lot of the others that are on here reporting much narrower segments of experience of life there.
Thank you 🙏🏼
It’s bizarre how much I enjoy this town while not being close to the stereotypical fit.
Pete, a very nice video, and your sincerity is appreciated. I don't drink so I guess that's one reason why I have no experience with bar girls, but I have true respect for everyone. A bar girl, whether she is making money on the side for dates or not, no matter. They are likely sending money home to family, maybe supporting a child when the father took off... or maybe they just have no education or the skills or mentality to work in an office or behind a cash register. They are seeking a happy life in their own way and I have nothing but empathy for them. Most guys are likely there to take advantage of them in one way or another, so for them to protect themselves and be somewhat self-serving is completely reasonable.
Nice advice on making friends as we all get older. In a way though - and I'm 66 - getting older is a return to childhood. No one cares anymore how has the biggest house or the fanciest car, or who is the best looking. That baloney is sort of in the past. Put us on a court playing a game in a big group, and it's like being little kids again where you are just happy to be in a group and be open to making friends. I hope you continue the great work!
Yes, I respect them just as I do any other person. Everyone I have spent time talking with is sending money home and nearly everyone has a child or two they are taking care of. Many are the rudest child in the family and are therefor responsible for taking care of their parents as well.
if the girl is really into you, she will tell you to come pick her up after the bar closes so you don't need to pay the bar fine. just gotta be able to stay up until the bar closes at 2am lol
I’ve made it to 2am twice in the last 6 months… both times unintentionally by surprise!
You have such a great view on life, I love your videos
Thank you. 🙏🏼
At some point I want to revisit the topic of bar girls. I hate how many here dehumanize them.
Im back in bang saray. What days are best for smokers garden and jazz pitt?
Smoker Garden is on Wednesdays and Sundays. It’ll be featured in next week’s video.
I’ve only done the Jazz Pit for their Sunday Jam but I want to hit up a Friday or Saturday night to see what it’s like.
No Meetup groups there? I hate bars and clubs.
I’m sure there’s plenty of meet up groups. The video before this one talks about several Facebook groups that I’m a part of that do all sorts of meetups.
If Pete and Repeat are sitting on a fence and Pete falls off .. who's left?
😆
Subject well covered Pete, you seem to have it worked out.
Thank you 🙏🏼
Pete - dont get addicted to bar girls, - it is a bottomless pit !!!
No intentions for any unhealthy addictions in my life. Bar Girls is definitely an addiction I’d consider as being unhealthy.
Very intuitive Pete & all you say regards friendship resonates with me . Friendships are forged through trust & being there for each other . For me that rules out bar girls as our priorities can never truly align .
I have one true Thai friend .She worked in bar/restaurant , witty & sharp as a knife . Joined the staff on understanding would never be pressured to leave work unless someone of her choosing .Pressure was exerted for her to go with the bosses friends .Conflicts arose .
We formed a friendship & at shift close she came to my hotel opposite to talk & improve our language skills . I frequently took her out of that environment & she would be my chaperone & vetter , much to the surprise of girls on learning from her we were not together .This went a small way to appease her boss whose attitude was " You work bar Pattaya you should be going with customer " . Only when a girl said to me " I've looked in her eyes & she's in love with you " did the full implication of our friendship finally dawn on me .The story took a different turn ,but friendships with bar girls are very rare but possible .
She went on to bigger & brighter future , is fluent in 4 languages . I know we will be best friends for life & keep constant touch & meet up whenever possible .She was the one I let get away & 20 years on I have that regret because I was a player .
Wow, amazing honest story here. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it. 🙏🏼
Great attitude. Exactly, the same here. The fact that there might be a transactional aspect doesn't mean that you can hang out and have a good time and if you treat them with respect and you are a nice dude, they will have an authentic good time too. Does this mean that you should move to Thailand to marry a bar girl, obviously not. Most times it won't work out. Just think that for the girls it is a difficult live too and have some compassion. We always focus on the farang that got reap off but how about the girls that meet a lot of creeps and weirdos? It is a difficult live for girls that have limited options in terms of employment and many of them do it to help their families. Hope this video does well because it is the best one I've seen on the subject and has such a positive vibe.
Thank you. Since filming I’ve watched a couple videos that approach the subject from a reasonable and respectful place. I’m really happy with the comments so far on this video. I was very hesitant to even touch the subject but it naturally came up while I was filming.
It’s not a subject I looked into much before living here and this vlog has made me more interested with it in general. While my channel is not about this industry or lifestyle at all I think I might revisit it after some time.
Thanks for leaving a respectful and thoughtful comment 🙏🏼
One of the best Thailand TH-cam channels, keep up the good work
Many thanks 🙏🏼
I really appreciate it.
Like you say, just appreciate the times together, laughs together, and learning Thai, etc... For me older bar girls 30+ are my sweet spot as I am over 60. Its all good... until it isn't 5555 I have a few working girls who have been "friends" for over 3 years now. As you mentioned, the girls may disappear for a time, or get a real boyfriend who will take care of them and leave. Great talk on building friendships as how to listen. You are doing well Pete, think your channel here is one of the good ones. Kudos.
I agree with all of that and thank you for the positive response. I was hesitant to even broach the subject but the comments so far have been almost entirely respectful. 🙏🏼
Good advice Pete.
I would also suggest that you also include the Thais who work in massage shops in addition to the bars.
As you know, I went back to Europe to do some work for my ex employer and I needed someone that I could trust to look after my condo and to pay the paper based bills while I was gone. I chose my main masseur for this task, as he is very reliable and trustworthy. Before I left, I introduced him to the condo management, realty, and security teams so that they would understand in advance that I chose him and to support that decision. It is now 4 months that I am away and everyone, including myself, are very happy that he is taking care of my place and interacting with all of them on any issues that came up during my absence. It has been a great peace of mind.
Great point. My masseuse is taking me out for birthday dinner tomorrow after our session. 😁
I'm just not a bar person but it's cool you have found a way to have friends. I made friends at the gym and have a female Russian friend who has become a good friend and I have been training her as she is also a fashion model. For me personally, bars and drinking are not my scene. And good pointers on making friends. I am outgoing and friendly and make friends everywhere but so many people here just want to go about their own business and thats cool. I am running into people in our building and just over time I think they become friends. Many have GF and already occupied..lol
You definitely have that friendly ready to chat vibe about you. There’s a ton of cool people around here and you never know what someone is about until you start to talk with them a bit.
Met some good EXpats that live over in Pattaya and visit for months and yes there are some SHADY EXpats in Pattaya and Thailand and Philippines use common sense
Pete - thanks for the education. I never knew how the interactions of the bar girls and their patrons worked.
In Oakland I once lived next door to a "happy ending" (and likely more) masseuse. Very attractive and classily dressed, she would often come out to stand next to the end of the hall window to have a smoke .. as I would be coming home from my nursing shift. She was very nice and seemed genuinely grateful to have someone, a man in particular, to talk with who didn't want anything from her other than polite conversation. I respected her a lot and found the bravery she must have to work with admirable.
I never understood the bitter and angry expat types. But it is true, I do not trust them, even though I could easily pass as one myself lol. Why are you here? Clearly, it would seem, because you were not so happy in your own country. And as for the swindlers and con-men .. it just does not seem to be in the Thai DNA (I think primarily because of the Buddhist mindset) to take advantage of others. Does it happen? Yes, of course. But ironically enough, most of the crime and swindling overwhelmingly happens in the very places that expats and farang are often trying to exploit the Thais, like the bar girls. So to me .. fair game.
I'm not sure I would the Thais I know as "friends", but I absolutely love seeing them everyday .. usually in the mornings when I'm getting my coffee and a roti or an omelet. Just good local people who I've run into at other times, like the coffee crew girls at a nearby 7/11 .. could not have been nicer. I am quite sure I could invite them to hang out, but my Thai language skills are so bad, and their English is so bad, that it would likely result in some awkwardness. I also once heard a very random, and solo, guitarist playing some Grateful Dead tunes in the middle of a mall in Chiang Mai. I introduced myself, we talked, and he invited me to come see his band the next night. Unfortunately, I was leaving the next day back for Bkk. And I do know other expats (Roaming Cook, The Retired Working for You crew) who do have genuine Thai friends. So, it certainly is possible. Again the language, for me, seems to be the primary barrier.
Vitamin C drinks! Dude man .. get some freshy squeezed OJ! One of the biggest things I miss about the markets in Thailand. :)
Carry on, Pete. Carry on.
You can definitely make friends with bar girls. If you are a cool guy, they will get also attached to you and care for you, like it is for human beings. Though, still need to be careful and don't trust anyone right at the beginning
💯 agree with you here.
I have met a few bar girls that I am a acquaintance and yes I am Kool with it and I am aware
Thumbs up 👍 Pete
Thank you MSR 🙏🏼
short answer and in my experience, yes
Pete , I like your outlook on life. Like to hear more! I used to worked for Aldi.
Thank you 🙏🏼
Life is absolutely what you make of it and I’ve been fortunate enough to make out pretty well. If you haven’t yet, I’ve got some past videos you may find insightful and hopefully entertaining. I’d recommend my 5 Lessons from Laos 🇱🇦
It all comes down to you vetting the women and be straight forward with your intentions and ask her about hers , then you will know how to go forward .
Solid advice I believe. In any type of relationship, honestly and communication are key to it being successful. This is no different.
Im a bassist. We got that in common
I thought I have told you dozens of stories about shady expats. I haven't been caught up in anything, not for lack of effort on their part, but saw it play out firsthand with others.
I am friends with a lot of bar girls, but if someone is going to do that, they need understand their line of work and the potential for a jealous husband/boyfriend as I'm sure you are well aware of as you've experienced it firsthand.
But yea the transient nature of people in here in Pattaya especially has me asking people I meet that want to hang out if they are here long term or on holiday. I don't have the time or energy to invest in a relationship with anyone if it's just for a few weeks or months. As I'm sure I have stated this to you before.
Anyways Safe travels, Happy Birthday, and enjoy Disney Land.... you weirdo.
I can’t recall any stories but you e definitely warned me to be cautious who I befriend and to not share too much. Thanks for the well wishes!
15:48 Photo bombing legend! I'd wanna make friends with that dude! 😅
Lol, it’s a motorcycle taxi guy I think. (That’s what the orange vests usually mean) I’ve been trying to figure out if he was flagging someone down of just getting some TH-cam fame.
Yes you can make good friends with Thailand bar girls . What happens after that you enter at your own peril .
Solid advice for sure 🙏🏼
Great advise as always!! thank you for being so open. I will be there in 107 days for 25 days and hope we can hang out while i'm in Pattaya.
107 days… woohoo!
Whoop! There he is with the Bar Girls”! My favorite group.
I got some great videos for you coming out in July!
Yes I stay in contact with a couple bar girls. We text often and have the odd video chat. I don't send them money. Just friendly girls. As long as your straight up and honest they'll mostly respect that.
Just like other people, they can’t all be categorized for having the same wants and intentions. It is reassuring to hear that I’m lit alone in these waters and to hear all the positive comments.
Awesome video Pete and great tips 👍
Many thanks 🙏🏼 😊
Awesome video man. Enjoy your day and most important have fun.:)
Thank you kindly… had a fantastic day even though much of it was spent editing… I’ve got some fun videos in the works!
Good video mate, I feel I have made friends with bar girls also, no money exchanging hands, I've had some girls give me a ride, buy me food, drink and not ask for anything. But yes, as you say, you have to still have your head screwed on as for a lot of them it is all about the baht. Keep up the good content brother.
Thank you 🙏🏼
I regret not saying it I’m the video but bar girls are still people. Yes, most are in it for certain reasons but just like anyone from and demographic they can’t all be categorized in a certain box. Thai people in general are very friendly and kind and those traits can still be found in this type of industry.
You have to be careful with bar girls. As long as you keep that in mind, they are there to make money. I recommend you not getting into a relationship with them and giving them money on a regular basis. Don't get attached to them or start having feelings for them. They are very skilled at getting your money. Guys have killed themselves over bar girls.
This is very solid advice and I’ve heard similar tales. If you’re looking for a serious relationship in Thailand then there’s so many other places to look where the odds would be much greater for finding a successful one.
Thanks Pete!
This is an angst I have about our move to Thailand, making meaningful and good friendships. Not enjoying small talk much, I am going to have to brush up on those skills but I also think it will be good for me to be outside of my comfort zone for personal growth.
Thanks for your insights and motivating me to start thinking outside of my box 😊 you are truly a breath of fresh air in this world
Wow, thank you so much for the kind words. 🙏🏼
Pete - I think you meant "unscupulous" ( about at the 13 minute mark ).
Yup, I absolutely did lol
Thanks for the correction, I truly appreciate it. I tend to find most of my mistakes while editing but honestly I’ve probably had that word wrong in my vocabulary most of my life. 🙏🏼
love the vids Pete, hoping to follow your footsteps one day soon.
You can make it happen!
I enjoy your videos, your a cool dude, seem like a very nice person
Thank you 🙏🏼
I appreciate that
Very insightful, Pete.
Thank you Stan 🙏🏼
It’s a subject I wasn’t interested in but after befriending some of the “girls” I’ve starting to want to look into it more.
Very good analysis- awareness is key
Absolutely 👍🏼 💯
Another great video Pete
Thank you Mr Grim 🙏🏼
Ok Pete 😎
LB TJs any chance?
It's a good well measured delusion with a touch of realism. You are not Don Quixote. For learning the Thai language, might be one of the best tools you could find using the bar girls to converse with outside of class.
Haha so we’ll said my friend! 🙏🏼
I’ve met a few actually they’ll meet me at the club after the get off work, at the end the night they’ll ask if they can come home with me and when I ask how much they say up to you if you want to give or not. I think just treating them with respect goes along way.
I’ve heard similar stories. Just like all people, genuine connections can happen and many truly are hoping to find a real relationship.
🗝️