Making my wife jealous by finding the best video game romance
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.ย. 2024
- Help Kyle Sleep - / doormonster
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It's late August, and you know what that means - it's time for a video game dating tier list!
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I stayed up too late finding the most high value video game romance - เกม
I would like to formally and publicly apologize to the D&D community for my ignorant statements about clerics. I understand I was wrong, and that they provide a valuable service to any adventuring party. To any clerics I have personally offended, I promise I will play one in my next game in order to gain some perspective. To briefly defend myself, my only personal experience with a cleric so far has been Shadowheart, and let's be real, unless there are some ghosts dancing around her, she can't aim for shit.
They heal, it's kinda like making the cook or the medic angry in the military. Sure, they aren't killing with you, but they are keeping you alive. They can also kill pretty well if you build correctly. Basically really Don't know how to play cleric. Think medic with a shot gun.
With the variety of spells and subclasses clerics get it is entirely viable to make a party of only clerics. They're not even really supposed to heal, killing things quickly is usually a much better way to keep your HP high than restoring it after getting hit a bunch. Shadowheart is just bad.
P.S. I really enjoy hearing you ramble about anything.
@@danielcox7629 clerics are great but they are trash at healing unless you have a life cleric they will never out heal the damage the enemy is putting out and healing you is a waste of an action that could have ended the combat faster so you take less damage and unless your dm is a dick healing potions are a thing and dont cost that much but clerics and one of the best damage dealers in the game they are like an a grunt with a rocket launcher and a sewing kit i mean sure i could get him to use his sewing kit but having him use the rocket launcher is a much better use of his time
@powerneed1023 keeping alies alive is a long term investment and should never be completely discounted. I don't like healing that out paces burst damage in game design anyways. I played a healer in d20 modern. It was literally a foot soldier with a shotgun, and later a sniper rifle, and a sewing kit. One of my most rewarding healers because the healing was to keep alies standing or heal between combat. They were also impossible to kill thanks to high will and fortitude saves and a mutant infection that wanted their body. Grumpy healers are awesome. First person they tried to heal was a mutant zombie and from then on they knew mercy was for suckers and spot checks were for winners.
@DoorMonster stop using her wizard spell: firebolt. It scales with int and cleric is a wisdom class. She gets it for free for being elven, same as Astarion.
Stop using dex saving throw spells against enemies with high dex. You can inspect enemies to see their stats. If they have +2 or better to dex, sacred flame is probably gonna miss! That's not Shadowheart's fault.
Try having her learn produce flame if you absolutely must have a cantrip for her to spam, but honestly, you should use Withers to reallocate her stats. She should have a +3 in str, +2 in dex and +4 in wis by level 4, and have her switch to fighting up close with spear and shield, not healing and throwing spells from the back, since that's kind of how she's built to fight later on based on what kinds of items you get for her.
And that's just if you want to keep her as a trickery cleric, which you shouldn't. If you want to see some real power, try tempest or light cleric.
"Staying up too late" implies he did eventually go to sleep. This is progress, people.
Could still be up now.
He's trying to stay up so he becomes a Vampire and his wife loves him more. 😂
Laying in bed with your eyes open is still technically down.
Kyle could never be a vampire; vampires tend to have a mandatory sleep routine.
He would somehow stay up all day if he was a vampire and always show up super groggy and annoyed to his mandatory sacrifice rituals
@@trainknutblood oranges. Kyle would probably be the vampire equivalent of lactose intolerant.
So either he 1 would be a super weak vampire, because he would somehow avoid the call to slumber in a coffin, 2 would be a mutant variant that while not strictly stronger than the standard would catch you off guard with his specialty by being a vampire that NEVER has to sleep and thus is always active and able to get stuff done, but still with all the other weaknesses or 3 he would be a new superior form of vampire, always active never resting, and his resistance to sleep would mutate into new vampiric powers like rising from various forms of death, resisting the call of the grave as he resists the call of the bed...
@timothycarney9652 Actually, it's just Vampire the Masquerade Revised, and he has a really high Humanity.
He could try becoming a Twilight vampire, they never sleep apparently
It is becoming increasingly clear as this video progresses that you used several of your genie wishes in a row to woo your wife.
Worth it
@@DoorMonster This is the most incredibly wholesome reply to a comment i have ever seen
Hey it's called "minmaxing". Now that he has the partner slot filled, he can fill all the other slots!
@@cookechris28 - Is it okay to be talking about Kyle's partner's slots like that?
@@DoorMonsterHow did you find a new house, after the first one burned down and/or flooded?
So Tali isn''t 17, when you first meet her she is on her 'pilgrimage', The quarian trial of adulthood. its a process that can span multiple years as the only criteria for ending it is to "bring back something of value" to the fleet. it can also result in failure.
so basically she's in space college.
I dunno where the her being underage thing came from, but in game codex puts her at 22 in the first game.
Yes I am defending my space crush.
Probably a wiki that lists their first listed age first which is... Dumb for this
@@GBSpiral She did lose her mother at the age of 17 so maybe people unfamiliar with her look her up, see the number 17 in the bio and immediately assume that's her age, idk
@@Tayvin4042 Or maybe since the codex says there are 17 million quarians. People see 17, and it ends there.
As you should.
@@JayTohab This reply is hopefully intentionally hilarious. 😅
5:38 How did "Kyle with top hat and mustache" not prepare me for either "Kyle with just mustache" or "Kyle with just top hat?"
I fully assumed this would be an exaggeration. It's not in the slightest.
I was so scared Allison and Kyle got divorced, so it was a big relief when it was just Kyle being jealous of Astarian 😆
Yeah no kidding but the sexual tension and flirtation slowly building to the end of the video was really cute.
Better yet, his wife thinks he's more attractive than he generally gives himself credit for. Aside from maybe some self-esteem issues, that's a good sign for the relationship.
Though, he did tell her to rank based on the posh persona...
I really appreciate the extra detail that you did a costume change, kept a fake mustache, but used a DIFFERENT fake mustache.
>Puts Panam in Boring
>Calls DND clerics useless
>Hasn't Played Mass Effect
>Removes Tali
Guards, arrest this Jester forthwith.
In all seriousness, fun video.
He did Merill DIRTY
Dude I don't even play Mass Effect and I knew Tali was gonna hurt some people lmao
0:26 “I was once among the happily coupled-“ what-what?? Kyle got a divorce????? “-until my wife left me for a fictional undead half-elf” oh, okay, it’s a bit.
According to the internet alot suffer from this afflixation
Plot twist: Asterion and Morrigan dump both of you and get together.
Also, no Piper for Fallout 4? It's been a while but if I recall correctly, she's one of the most normal romance options and all you need to do is impress her with lockpicking skills and not be an asshole.
Yeah, they put Preston but not Piper like... What? And not even Curie
@@renadex4905 I adore Curie - her whole story could be a fantastic sci-fi novel all on it's own - but her questline is kinda demanding. You can't just walk up to her and start flirting, you really have to go out of your way just to find her, let alone get her to a point where she even can be romanced. I can sorta see why he skipped her.
On the other hand, you automatically encounter Piper as part of the main quest and just need to agree to a short interview to get her available as a companion, and then it's only a matter of raising her appreciation score and clearing the charisma check. I'm pretty sure she's supposed to be the default love interest.
Actually, now that I think about it, romancing Preston also involves a lot of dangerous work. So, yeah, I really don't get why only he and Cait qualify.
Astarion and Morrigan would be a great couple ngl. Well, their post-game versions, at least. They're both a little too crazy to be together beforehand and would further each other's worst tendencies but after their games, they'd be just mellow enough to vibe perfectly
She's literally a freebie, she passively grows to adore you the longer you spend time with her.
I know she technically likes it when you specifically lockpick things and pick good dialogue options, but in the context of how many fucking locked chests there are in that game and how infrequent opportunities to be an asshole(with reason) arise in quests... Yeah she kinda just gets horny for you because you spend time with her.
I was also kinda disappointed at this lack of Fallout 4 representation, because I feel like he could have said a lot more about how surface level most of them are and how strangely the game handles romance dialogue in general.
Then again, I also got the impression that he played the game one time in 2015, picked Preston as his one and only companion(because he's the first non-hostile human you meet), and never played it again, which you know what.. is completely fair.
There's something *really* wholesome about sitting down with your wife and talking about fictional character crushes, I love that the whole idea is "okay, what's the easiest option to get together with someone to try to win back my wife?"
"Everyone's really into Rodriguez" truer words have never been spoken.
To bad he is a Widower. R.I.P Slappy the gay trader.
10:50 "About as usefull as a dnd cleric, whitch is to say not".
As someone whos been DMing 5e for years, take it from me when i say if you think clerics are weak, you havnt been playing with enough clerics. I cant count how many encounters ive had to rebalance just to cater to those damn holy nuisances 😂
Cleric is literally a contender for top 3 classes, alongside Wizards/Druids/Artificers.
yeah cleric is fucking bonkers. especially if they dont load any healing spells in their double barreled murder stick..
In BG3 even without doing anything silly, Shadowheart can just cast Spirit Guardian and wander around the battlefield dishing out tons of damage
@@icesharkk6399
Always bring bonus action healing (unless it's like a flavor thing) it's so good for keeping your allies from dying and maintaining damage output. Win-win honestly but yes, using a cleric as a heal bot is very suboptimal. Healing is an out of combat spell type except for standing people up honestly.
I guess they got a *little* nerfed in 5th Ed since they don't always get that heavy armor proficiency, and the melees have a lot more going on now so the clerics decent attack bonus doesn't stack up quite like it did in say, 3rd edition.
"I stayed up too late"
Surprising no one
oh dear god he's "unraveling"
He’s slowly transforming into Brian David Gilbert (and it’s amazing)
Does that mean he'll end up on dropout in a couple years? I'm in favor!
@@JaySwag77 oooh thats a great idea
@@JaySwag77a talented workaholic who can't stop creating new projects? I dunno, does Dropout have any experience with that type?
@@thegreatandterrible4508 "I CANNOT WIN!" intensifies.
On one hand it's so incredibly wholesome how much confidence his wife has in his chances with these characters. On the other hand, he did literally sort out everyone that would be difficult to get with.
Oh romance. You win some, you lose some. You get dumped four times in Baldur's Gate 3 whilst playing a bard somehow. It's rough, real rough.
You can get dumped in Baldurs Gate 3?
Damn maybe I should try it...
Karlach is actually pretty easy to romance assuming youre being an essentially decent person, and y'know, say that you like her. The biggest problem is getting fire immunity so she can, and I quote "Ride you until you see stars".
Is this what finally gets me to play BG3
@@U.Inferno Be honest. You've done worse, for less reasons.
"Too close to just being Unraveled"
You said it, not me
And just like unraveled, outer accessories or clothing articles disappear until it's just a raving man in a shirt.
That's an impossible thing to be. We all strive to approach the perfect insanity of Unraveled.
not gonna lie, your unhinged commentaries are like if the voice in my head suddenly got a lot funnier than me, and also stole a body. 10/10
Tali is 22 in ME1, she's born in 2161 and the first game is set in 2183.
On the subject of Garrus, Mordin (A doctor on the ship) warns that you need to take precautions against chafing if you schtupp him, and "Not to ingest".
IN DEFENCE OF PENNY:
She is only boring because she's already got all her shit sorted.
"In real life i'm obviously a catch", not until the sandman gets you, you're not.
Okay but
The Moon Presence is way too demanding to make the list
I just want to point out that, when playing Baldurs Gate 3 on release, i played a Dark Elf (everyone hates them), played as dark urge and therefore killed a civilian in cold blood in the middle of the camp, while admitting to doing so to the entire group. I also had a mod installed that reduced the affection gained by a whopping 50% and i did not pick romantic dialogue options.
Around 2/3 into act 1 every single one of the companions was throwing themselves at me.
I am not sure where exactly the bar of genuine romance for those companions is, but i do worry about those poor sods in the lowest level of hell because they might trip over it.
Edit: Teachers having a lower social standing than super criminals had me laughing.
Another fun fact about Morinth is that she's a serial killer and sleeping with her literally kills you. That's how she does her whole serial murdering thing, too.
Universally-loved? Low enough standards so you don't miss? Abigail from Stardew Valley. Everybody loves the goth gamer tomboy who eats rocks.
Stayed up late implies you eventually slept, which I am not convinced of
"Ian wrote that one"
I would've guessed JP for some reason... that reason is probably TGT
Ian also wrote JP
@@DoorMonster ah that explains it
"I think we could all be happy together~"
This woman pulled the PolyAmory card?
She's playing 4d chess here
Isn't staying up late the opposite of going to sleep the way you were supposed to?
Donate to his patreon and he might sleep. Haven't met the goal yet!
@@viola_caseI stay up early.
Shadowheart is basically D&D Sailor moon. I don't get why everyone calls her useless.
Throw everything into radiant damage and reverberation and throw up some multiturn AOE radiant attacks and litterally just have her walk into the enemy.
0:46 RODRIGEZ EL CAZORO! Man that’s a throwback, you’re a real one if you know who that is.
Unraveled: Died 2020
I Could Beat Up Every Spider-Man Villain: Born 2023
Welcome back
Yeah, no, Tali is the best girl and-
Hmm wait you *do* have to defend her at a trial... And do a lot of medical care to make sure your germs don't kill her... And defending her at a trial also needs you to clear out a ship full of angry murder robots... Okay they go to the top mid right
Worth it
all Mass effect 2 companions have a risky endeavour to win their trust OR MORE ! after all...
This man has a boosted charisma stat but he tried to change his build halfway though his run and now he’s just like this
In all honesty, when Cassandra was announced as a romance I was skeptical. However, playing through the game I found her personality better defined than in Dragon Age 2. Her earnestness was admirable and her desire to experience romance was endearing. What sealed the deal for me was the part of her romance involving Varric’s book. Her being caught reading smutty fiction was hilarious and humanising, her asking you to command Varric to finish the book was charming as was her realisation of how ridiculous the idea was; and her sheer glee at finally receiving it - she went from cold, cast iron in DA2 to admirable, determined companion with a faithful heart dedicated to doing the right thing no matter the personal cost.
Let’s be honest … the real catch the fandom wanted was Varric … but his heart forever belongs to Bianca 😂
I love the part when he said it's door monster time And comedy sketched all over the white lightning
Watching this entire video just fully exemplified the 'What do you even see in that guy? / He makes me laugh' soundbite archetype. Truly a beautiful union.
“Too close to being unraveled“ finally clicked why I’m digging these videos about subjects I don’t normally care about
OF COURSE EVERYBODY IS INTO RODRIGUEZ!
Drew Gooden right next to Gojo as an attractive man with white hair killed me.
Minthara will sleep with you for the genocide, but you can also side against her and knock her out. She will join you when you rescue her later. Still a higher cost though, but less horrible.
Pitching the polycule was certainly not an ending I was expecting lol.
Firstly love the "Next we got River. He's a cop" then smash cut to River being at the absolute bottom.
Also at the end I absolutely love seeing those two on screen together. Especially the "embrace a little bit of vampire" part with Kyle absolutely not understanding and Allison having an amazing response giving "sure buddy".
I think liara is higher value and easier than you gave her credit for. You can accidentally get with her for being nice and she ends the series as a billionaire super spy
As a huge DOS2 fan, him mispronouncing the characters names was rather painful... But the "can dig holes without a shovel" was hilarious XD
"But then I remembered that they are high schoolers and decided not to."
LOL, good call
I don’t care if it’s just more unraveled I love it
Unraveled 2: The Re-Unravelinginning, now with at least 80% more Kyles.
Kyle trying to win his wife back and accidentally starting a polycule would be great
I like how getting punched in the face by uthgerd the unbroken is counted as a relatively average cost.
“Funny can go a long way”
“You’re so easy to please!”
“Well, what if they’re funny??”
Astarion makes me laugh every time I talk to him, too xD
Allison being like "we could all just be happy together~ ;3" Base Allison is based
This is our vastly needed Unraveled replacement.
that ending was just adorable, but also a video where you change literally nothing but have become a vampire. Nobody notices.
"I stayed up too late"... Almost like you should have been in bed. SLEEPING
I am really happy that you got Allison involved at the end because it's good to see the two of you be happy together
I romanced Merrill in my DA2 playthrough. It was very touching and memorable :)
Rodriguez El Cazorro has so much game he can give Kyle game by association.
"That's it: you just need to become a vampire to win me back."
I hear the makings of a hilariously fun Vampire: The Masquerade one-shot...?
Clerics are one of the most adaptable classes in dnd that's good at nearly anything you ask if them
"blast that thing"
"guiding bolt"
Please tank
"Forge domain"
Please heal
"dnd 5e has shit healing spells"
Even when it has shit healing spells, cleric remains the best in class at it, with that channel divinity: you are on low health? Nuh-uh.
"Next we got River, he's a cop." Immediately visible at the bottom of the graph, that one got me.
Kyle is clearly improvising a lot more here, in the second section, and it's brilliant.
14:00 Anyone else notice that the dealbreaker was 'I need to kill her mom' and not 'Intimacy will result in my entire nervous system (brain included) being permanently destroyed in the most agonizing of fashions'?
0:55
Or Courier Six.
They canonically dropped any attempt at romance with their companions because "adventure called" first to Divide and then back to guard BigMT.
And idk, I feel like it made both endings and Courier's character better.
"We don't do romance because the world might end, we're saving the world first, talking later."
"and then she reforms into a teacher, so her social status goes down"
underrated lmao
The end is so funny, I love Allison so much
The overall Shadowheart assessment, correct. The comment about clerics, blasphemy. They can deal damage, heal, and have high AC through heavy armor proficiency without suffering the swiss army knife problem of being ok at a lot of everything without being great at any one thing. Instead they can just kick butt at everything if you build it right. Light and life domain clerics are easily some of the most powerful casters in the game. It is fair to say they aren't always easy to build right though. You need to put a lot of investment into wisdom and the spell list can be daunting, but luckily one the clerics abilities is that it can repick spells every day unlike other classes that only get to repick when they level up. Give it some time and you can build the cleric right for you.
That speck of something on the curtain behind you is driving me insane
Come on Kyle, when you get some sleep you're a strong 7.
I worry about my algorithm after watching this. But i must support Door Monster how i can.
I'm so glad you're here to pick up where Brian David Gilbert left off with his unraveled series.
"Fenris is the Astarion of Dragon age" hurts when you know that Fenris + Dorian is how Astarion is designed. What if Fenris' angst and look, but Dorian's charisma and flirtation, essentially.
Alison and Kyle would make for a really cute couple
Out of the Cyberpunk characters, I think Panam is the best.
Brian David Gilbert shaved his beard again?
The last 3 videos are good content. Turns out Kyle just talking at the screen is working surprisingly well.
"I thought Leah was like... *wrist gesture* " Oh absolutely no doubt about that
When it turns out all your problems could be solved by becoming a vampire
0:05 *Squealing in "has to go to work"*
You becoming a vampire is what gets you Allison back. She's got such good takes!
Your spouse thinking you're hotter than you think you are is peak relationship goals tbh
Love how it felt like a classic Door Monster Sketch Punchline at the end
Allison, who married Kyle: Thinks Kyle is hot and funny
Kyle: Surprised Pikachu face
(this is, to be clear, extremely cute, relatable and good)
Been a while since I played Dragon Age, but Zevran could probably have gotten placed higher on this. Man's rocking a deep French accent, strong sense of humor, and absolutely zero shame. He could honestly give Astarion a run for his money.
You forgot the part where you die when you sleep with morinth.
Frea in Skyrim. She's an essential character, has high stats, runs a store, and has that lovely accent.
She is a DLC character though.
This was amazing.... The back and forth at the end was hilarious 😂
Hello Kyle, the whimsical national treasure. Would you consider becoming a British citizen, so we can, as a country, claim that you are a national treasure of Britain and not America? We, the British, would much appreciate the honour. I, as an unofficial ambassador for the great British empire, am prepared to offer you the crown if you'd deem it an acceptable trade for your allegiance.
Going for the religion victory I see
The only way you can claim him as a british national treasure is if he plays a character in Sherlock or Doctor Who.
Can we get a knighthood going?
Stop trying to colonize Kyle!
just nab him and place him in the British Museum. they can hold on to him real well from the looks of it.
Almost choked and died at “the real problem: i cannot be properly simulated”
This has - and I mean this as a massive compliment - big "Unraveled" energy.
Tune in next week when Kyle will be a vampire.
This was strangely wholesome and I had a blast watching this.
14:59 HE'S SO REAL FOR THAT
"Shadowheart likes it when you're nice to people"... For most of the game, quite the opposite
"could you imagine if i left you for drew gooden" was the most unexpected and best crossover of this day
I love the relationship you have with your wife. I’m having a rough time going on and seeing you two be cute together makes me smile
I was honestly hoping you would have discovered Pathfinder Wrath of the Rightious for this just because seeing your reaction to Camilla and her romance would have been hilarious.