Kiwico - Redefine play with KiwiCo! Right now, get 50% off your first month - crate’s start at just $14 per month - plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com, promo code PERFECTPERSON. Coterie - It’s time you use a better diaper. Get 20% off your first subscription order plus free shipping at Coterie.com - promo code: perfectperson Diet Smoke - You can go to DietSmoke.com and use code PERFECT for 15% off your entire purchase. Remember, you must be 21 or older to purchase. Enjoy responsibly. Ritual - Visit ritual.com/PERFECTPERSON to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription today.
Omg "friendship is an elective" is such a good way to put it. My friendships are so special to me precisely because we don't have to talk every day all day to know that we care about each other (and that's on secure attachment). Ultimately I am in my friends' lives and they are in mine not because we HAVE to be, but because we WANT to be, and I think that's beautiful!
need the hbo girlies back for a future ep, i loved this one! the response to the first caller was suuuuuuper therapeutic, i loved hearing miles’ response! love the pod as always
You all have reached so many more young ladies around the world with the advice and discussion for the friendship caller. Having a bff breakup was my first real heartbreak and hearing your advice really made me appreciate how we did end up giving it a try after the blow up, but ended up slowly growing apart. I still miss having that friendship sometimes but I know that we both are doing well and have spoken a few times cordially over the last 7 years. You guys rock ❤
11:22 I just wanna point out that I think it sweet that Miles never asks his guess to reach out and turn on the light, even though it may be simpler. Although, maybe he does it because it’s funnier when he does it, like the music for the Get Real Section… Either way, I’m here for it!
I love these two! I've never encountered them before, and that's one of the things that I love about Perfect Person -- I'm exposed to more people through them appearing on this podcast. It's awesome. Not to get too parasocial, but I feel like I'd love to be Katherine and Lizzy's friend, they just exude that wholesome down-to-earth energy that I love.
Suggestion: boyfriend takes nana to dinner or something related to mom. Girlfriend says I'll clean the house or kitchen and then you have free reign of house under the guise of doing something nice for gran.
This one's a banger, Lizzy and Katherine vibed with you on a frequency of your wave I'm not sure any other guest has before. They're lovely and though I'm so upset I had never seen anything of theirs before, I'm for sure gonna now.
Honestly? I absolutely agree with the writing stuff down. I put my "top 5 must haves in a boyfriend" as a status when I was like 17 or something. All my previous relationships were missing at least one of those qualities. Then out of the blue I met my current partner. 6 years later he's still the best human I've ever met.
Ive never paid more attention to ad reads as i do since miles is bringing his silly little self to reading for baby products. Such a change from mommy vloggers lol
To the first caller -- please start bringing things up that bother you. It can be as little as someone forgetting to thank you when you give them a coffee, it can be not smiling back at you, it can be leaving a coat on the chair when it should be on the coatrack. Things that bother you are valid. Your feelings matter. Communication saves good relationships and it destroys bad ones. If you cannot talk to your partner then it isn't meant to be, and the sooner you come to terms with this the better you will be for it.
To the girl with the difficult friendship of 15 years, cut her out! I had a geez… 17+ years friendship and she put me down constantly. Finally acknowledging that was a game changer and stepping away and putting more distance between us was the best thing I could have done for myself. I wish you all the best!! ❤
Idk, Ik some ppl that would purposely place the wrong note for the partner to see it. Like if they are too immature to break up, they could be trying to give you an out to initiate it first
what an interesting conversation abt platonic vs romantic relationships as someone who is aromnatic. the idea that friendships are elective but romantic relationships are not (generally speaking) is news to me. i love how in-depth this podcast goes into social norms, either to explain how they work or why it’s odd that we’ve come to expect them. this is like a documentary to me quite honestly
I must say. You can tell when the host does sound. The phone calls sound crisp. So doesn't take me away from the story. The mic mix is so smooth, your s and p's dont tickle my ears This is coming from someone that doesn't know the tech words....can you tell? 😅 Is it tone and pitch mastery orr?
honestly, is sounds like susanna is looking for outs. she very well could have come to the graduation party bc she was doing nothing on the day & if she seriously couldn’t make it, be more honest than “well i have a plan on the surrounding days so nah bye.” especially if she was just rude af the whole time, maybe she has friends that are more equal to her in that manner now. 15 years is tough, as someone lost an entire friend group of a decade. but letting go is better than hurting yourself trying to hold on.
It kinda sounds like Susanna sucks! I definitely empathize with having a hard time letting go of a long term, close friendship, but it really seems like either they’ve drifted apart or even Susanna wasn’t a great friend in the first place, and that caller should probably come to terms with that. I hope she has (or can find) better friends.
I do think they raised a good point about Susanna maybe having a lot going on though, because that can really affect the way someone behaves. I know I’ve definitely missed out on things because of physical and mental health, but thankfully my friends are pretty charitable, so maybe the caller does need to be a little easier on Susanna. Kinda sounds like a complicated scenario and maybe all of these possibilities are relevant factors.
They said her mother was sick. It sounds like the caller was hyper focused on herself and unable to empathize truly with this person, and her friend was distancing herself. I imagine to some degree if her mom is really sick and coming to visit, and a graduation party doesn't seem like a priority in comparison. The caller also seemed a bit clingy, which can be really overwhelming if you are going through a lot, and when her friend tried to explain why she was distant, the caller chose to ignore her and proceeded to call into a podcast about her and gossip about her to her friends. She showed a true lack of empathy, and I hope that they grow apart gracefully for everyone's sake.
@@sighhAYSzG5AGI agree. The caller seems like she's still in the hometown mindset but I moved away from my hometown and had to have a friendship breakups. You change so much as people. I came from a redneck drinking hometown so our interests and lifestyles diverged so greatly. What graceful way is there to abandon a friendship where someone still wants to hang out with you? The caller seems to not be able to take a hint that her friend didn't want to be close anymore and got upset when the friend didn't come. Calling into a podcast isn't the answer.
Susanna doesn't suck, she set boundaries early on and in a very clear way "hey, I am focussing on other friendships right now" and the caller just didn't want to accept that.
Ok Miles here me out…we reeeaaaalllyyyy need some sort of way that we can follow up on these situations after you give advice. I’m desperate to know what happened with the journal note sitch!!!
This is for the call of the graduation and the friend not showing up. I def had someone very near and dear not show up to my party to my college graduation it is hurtful af. I also don’t have much sympathy because I live in Texas, where we will roadtrip a bunch because it’s all still Texas. 1 hour drive doesn’t seem far to me, so she could have stopped by. I am driving from tx to Cali and turning right around after just to see miles live and we’ve never met… for my bestie I would drive a million miles to be there for her special moment, no matter how long after it was
realized i need a guy friend like miles who will truly think through what im going thru and trying to give a guys perspective. Often so many men are shit at reflection I wanna hear their perspective but not if its so base level duh kinda perspective
Partnership is... also... elective? 🙂 Maybe it's my little relationship anarchist soul, but I think the idea of defaulting that relationships involve more obligation than friendship can be damaging both to friends and to partners. For example, what about asexual / aromantic folks who don't have a partner who's "required" to show up? And how does this idea create expectations about partnership that might end up toxic and unequal? Just some food for thought!
Totally agree!! I’m on the aroace spectrum, and I’ve never understood why romantic relationships are prioritized over platonic ones. Why would one be inherently more important?
Just a note, it would be more beneficial to give examples of what you mean by diverse. Do you mean ethnically diverse, different orientations, genders, careers, body-types, etc?
imagine your sick mother comes to visit while youre moving and you want one day off between the emotional toll of that before you have to work, and your best friend cuts you out of their life because of it ????? girl is actually a maniac
Re: first call So just throwing it out there. A lot of people Don't understand that people who are polyamorous are more than capable of being in love with more than 1 person at the same time. It does not mean they necessarily love one more than the other. Though sometimes they do have a favorite. This can also mean That they are in a loving relationship, but still genuinely love another person from a past relationship. Even if they no longer want to date that person, the love can remain just as strong for months or sometimes years. Much like how a parent can truly deeply love more than one of their children at the same time. Sure, they may have their favorite child, but it doesn't mean that they don't love the other ones.
Kiwico - Redefine play with KiwiCo! Right now, get 50% off your first month - crate’s start at just $14 per month - plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com, promo code PERFECTPERSON.
Coterie - It’s time you use a better diaper. Get 20% off your first subscription order plus free shipping at Coterie.com - promo code: perfectperson
Diet Smoke - You can go to DietSmoke.com and use code PERFECT for 15% off your entire purchase. Remember, you must be 21 or older to purchase. Enjoy responsibly.
Ritual - Visit ritual.com/PERFECTPERSON to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription today.
RISE AND GRIND PERFECTIONISTS LETS GOOO
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Always gotta stay on that grind, work hard play hard am I right
Need this on a sticker or smth lol
thank fucking GOD this is the only channel i have where it’s red bars all the way through. i eat this podcast the hell up. OM NOM NOM.
Omg "friendship is an elective" is such a good way to put it. My friendships are so special to me precisely because we don't have to talk every day all day to know that we care about each other (and that's on secure attachment). Ultimately I am in my friends' lives and they are in mine not because we HAVE to be, but because we WANT to be, and I think that's beautiful!
need the hbo girlies back for a future ep, i loved this one! the response to the first caller was suuuuuuper therapeutic, i loved hearing miles’ response! love the pod as always
I love how they casually don’t even say anything about the motion sensor lights turning off 😂😂😂 they are perfect!
Miles and Sarah being friends with a witch makes me love them so much more ❤️
You all have reached so many more young ladies around the world with the advice and discussion for the friendship caller. Having a bff breakup was my first real heartbreak and hearing your advice really made me appreciate how we did end up giving it a try after the blow up, but ended up slowly growing apart. I still miss having that friendship sometimes but I know that we both are doing well and have spoken a few times cordially over the last 7 years. You guys rock ❤
aw I'm so glad! it truly does hurt as much as a heartbreak!! sending love
11:22 I just wanna point out that I think it sweet that Miles never asks his guess to reach out and turn on the light, even though it may be simpler.
Although, maybe he does it because it’s funnier when he does it, like the music for the Get Real Section… Either way, I’m here for it!
I love these two! I've never encountered them before, and that's one of the things that I love about Perfect Person -- I'm exposed to more people through them appearing on this podcast. It's awesome. Not to get too parasocial, but I feel like I'd love to be Katherine and Lizzy's friend, they just exude that wholesome down-to-earth energy that I love.
Suggestion: boyfriend takes nana to dinner or something related to mom. Girlfriend says I'll clean the house or kitchen and then you have free reign of house under the guise of doing something nice for gran.
This one's a banger, Lizzy and Katherine vibed with you on a frequency of your wave I'm not sure any other guest has before. They're lovely and though I'm so upset I had never seen anything of theirs before, I'm for sure gonna now.
This is already SUCH a good episode. Love this energy, love the friendship convo
I REALLY want an update on the sex toys that she’s trying to find 😂😂😂
This was a spoiler, as I read this while watching, but on this podcast, some of these spoilers are hilarious without context.
Theres an update on patreon!
This intro is chaotic and amazing
Edit: Honestly these last four episodes have all been absolute bangers, great calls
Miles always gives good advice but he really blew me away with this episode. 👏👏👏 Bravo
Miles’ little dance to get the light to turn back on is so funny
The ladies had such an amazing input and a very calming energy! Another amazing episode❤
AW thank you!!
“You guys just need to go to freakin Benihana and have the shrimp.” 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I love watching this show with my morning coffee, thank you for being so calming miles
Miles i would read an entire self help book written by you about navigating different kinds of friendships and relationships
As a huge fan of both Perfect Person and GOR this made my week!!! 💞
Yesssss
Honestly? I absolutely agree with the writing stuff down. I put my "top 5 must haves in a boyfriend" as a status when I was like 17 or something. All my previous relationships were missing at least one of those qualities. Then out of the blue I met my current partner. 6 years later he's still the best human I've ever met.
This week has been rough for me but this perfect person podcast has been really helpful to me.❤❤ And I really like this two ladies😍😄
Ive never paid more attention to ad reads as i do since miles is bringing his silly little self to reading for baby products. Such a change from mommy vloggers lol
Man friendship breakups are hard, but what I realized was it was harder staying in a friendship that felt like a co dependent relationship…
...don't tell Keith but I clicked out of the Eat The Menu video to watch this instead...
(I promise I'll go back to Keith. Just not rn)
Oye, the "fear of bringing things up" discussion is hitting a little close to home for me.
To the first caller -- please start bringing things up that bother you. It can be as little as someone forgetting to thank you when you give them a coffee, it can be not smiling back at you, it can be leaving a coat on the chair when it should be on the coatrack. Things that bother you are valid. Your feelings matter.
Communication saves good relationships and it destroys bad ones. If you cannot talk to your partner then it isn't meant to be, and the sooner you come to terms with this the better you will be for it.
My names juniper! I’m stoked to watch the movie
the best part about the video version of this podcast is watching miles have to turn the motion light back on
this has to be the most jarring episode title yet!!
Thanks babe
had an awful day at work today, so ready to listen!
love the hbo lax ladies! would love to see my little pay pigs back on the pod again
Let’s gooooooo miles nation rise up
I just got off a 3 hour phone call with verizon. I feel so drained, so I am very excited for this episode.
Not the "big box of dilds'" 😂😂😂 We're going to need an update. ❤️
I appreciated the I Did Something Bad reference 💞💞💞
my goodness that get real... we all deserve a friend that talks to us and about us like miles does.
thank you all for your reflections and wisdoms :D hearing you all talk about art and just doing it at the end was really helpful!
Why was my first thought to chuck the box out the window and then just make up an excuse to leave lol
To the girl with the difficult friendship of 15 years, cut her out! I had a geez… 17+ years friendship and she put me down constantly. Finally acknowledging that was a game changer and stepping away and putting more distance between us was the best thing I could have done for myself. I wish you all the best!! ❤
The questions this episode were so good
Best day of the week fr
Love the pod!!!! Just bought a shirt! Cant wait to get it!
THE BEST NOTIFICATION TO RECEIVE!!! Best podcast ever :)
I knee that voice sounded familiar! Games of Roses!!!!
Idk, Ik some ppl that would purposely place the wrong note for the partner to see it. Like if they are too immature to break up, they could be trying to give you an out to initiate it first
what an interesting conversation abt platonic vs romantic relationships as someone who is aromnatic. the idea that friendships are elective but romantic relationships are not (generally speaking) is news to me. i love how in-depth this podcast goes into social norms, either to explain how they work or why it’s odd that we’ve come to expect them. this is like a documentary to me quite honestly
Dying over the I Did Something Bad moment
Oh boy am I excited for this one
I must say.
You can tell when the host does sound. The phone calls sound crisp. So doesn't take me away from the story. The mic mix is so smooth, your s and p's dont tickle my ears
This is coming from someone that doesn't know the tech words....can you tell? 😅 Is it tone and pitch mastery orr?
wearing my perfect person merch while listening!🥰
honestly, is sounds like susanna is looking for outs. she very well could have come to the graduation party bc she was doing nothing on the day & if she seriously couldn’t make it, be more honest than “well i have a plan on the surrounding days so nah bye.” especially if she was just rude af the whole time, maybe she has friends that are more equal to her in that manner now. 15 years is tough, as someone lost an entire friend group of a decade. but letting go is better than hurting yourself trying to hold on.
GOOD MORNING PERFECTIONISTS!!!!!!! 😊
Merch acquired 😌
Thanks for wearing the uniform!!
@@PerfectPerson OH MY GOD YOU RESPONDED NO FREAKINY WAY
I'm loving this content! ❤
Diary by Bread was written for the first caller
whoooo best part of wednesday!!
The way Miles said my name 😵
15:22 30:04 34:46
Gotta set expectations when doing a spell.
It kinda sounds like Susanna sucks! I definitely empathize with having a hard time letting go of a long term, close friendship, but it really seems like either they’ve drifted apart or even Susanna wasn’t a great friend in the first place, and that caller should probably come to terms with that. I hope she has (or can find) better friends.
I do think they raised a good point about Susanna maybe having a lot going on though, because that can really affect the way someone behaves. I know I’ve definitely missed out on things because of physical and mental health, but thankfully my friends are pretty charitable, so maybe the caller does need to be a little easier on Susanna. Kinda sounds like a complicated scenario and maybe all of these possibilities are relevant factors.
They said her mother was sick. It sounds like the caller was hyper focused on herself and unable to empathize truly with this person, and her friend was distancing herself. I imagine to some degree if her mom is really sick and coming to visit, and a graduation party doesn't seem like a priority in comparison. The caller also seemed a bit clingy, which can be really overwhelming if you are going through a lot, and when her friend tried to explain why she was distant, the caller chose to ignore her and proceeded to call into a podcast about her and gossip about her to her friends. She showed a true lack of empathy, and I hope that they grow apart gracefully for everyone's sake.
@@sighhAYSzG5AGI agree. The caller seems like she's still in the hometown mindset but I moved away from my hometown and had to have a friendship breakups. You change so much as people. I came from a redneck drinking hometown so our interests and lifestyles diverged so greatly. What graceful way is there to abandon a friendship where someone still wants to hang out with you? The caller seems to not be able to take a hint that her friend didn't want to be close anymore and got upset when the friend didn't come. Calling into a podcast isn't the answer.
Susanna doesn't suck, she set boundaries early on and in a very clear way "hey, I am focussing on other friendships right now" and the caller just didn't want to accept that.
Ok Miles here me out…we reeeaaaalllyyyy need some sort of way that we can follow up on these situations after you give advice. I’m desperate to know what happened with the journal note sitch!!!
I actually follow up with a lot of the callers on the Patreon Friday show!
@@PerfectPerson omg I had no idea! Instally subbing!!
Yo, link that merch! 😉
This is for the call of the graduation and the friend not showing up. I def had someone very near and dear not show up to my party to my college graduation it is hurtful af. I also don’t have much sympathy because I live in Texas, where we will roadtrip a bunch because it’s all still Texas. 1 hour drive doesn’t seem far to me, so she could have stopped by. I am driving from tx to Cali and turning right around after just to see miles live and we’ve never met… for my bestie I would drive a million miles to be there for her special moment, no matter how long after it was
Wednesday is now my favorite day of the week
What if boyfriend put a piece of his writing for her to read?
realized i need a guy friend like miles who will truly think through what im going thru and trying to give a guys perspective. Often so many men are shit at reflection I wanna hear their perspective but not if its so base level duh kinda perspective
Partnership is... also... elective? 🙂 Maybe it's my little relationship anarchist soul, but I think the idea of defaulting that relationships involve more obligation than friendship can be damaging both to friends and to partners. For example, what about asexual / aromantic folks who don't have a partner who's "required" to show up? And how does this idea create expectations about partnership that might end up toxic and unequal? Just some food for thought!
Totally agree!! I’m on the aroace spectrum, and I’ve never understood why romantic relationships are prioritized over platonic ones. Why would one be inherently more important?
Something tells me the first caller might have been snooping lol I don’t think he left that journal entry on her pillow. A lot of us have been there.
Certified Sweety 😘
1000th liked lol
I'm obsessed with this show and always will be but I'm begging for more diverse guests
Just a note, it would be more beneficial to give examples of what you mean by diverse. Do you mean ethnically diverse, different orientations, genders, careers, body-types, etc?
I manifested my honey too 😂
sco beavs
imagine your sick mother comes to visit while youre moving and you want one day off between the emotional toll of that before you have to work, and your best friend cuts you out of their life because of it ????? girl is actually a maniac
if she was trying to distance herself, why would she even acknowledge the party by saying she hoped it was fun??
GIRL HE DID DO SOMETHING WRONG THAT IS EMOTIONAL CHEATING HE IS CHEATING ON YOU LEGIT DONT GASLIGHT YOURSELF.
Re: first call
So just throwing it out there.
A lot of people Don't understand that people who are polyamorous are more than capable of being in love with more than 1 person at the same time. It does not mean they necessarily love one more than the other. Though sometimes they do have a favorite. This can also mean
That they are in a loving relationship, but still genuinely love another person from a past relationship. Even if they no longer want to date that person, the love can remain just as strong for months or sometimes years.
Much like how a parent can truly deeply love more than one of their children at the same time. Sure, they may have their favorite child, but it doesn't mean that they don't love the other ones.
This episode was TERRIBLE. So much projection.
Sike. It was another great episode. ❤
my sweet boy crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday. this put a smile on my face, thank you so much for all that you do, miles. 🌈🤍
Can’t wait to listen to HBO Lax after this!! 🫶