Thank you Rob for being willing to share your story as a male survivor of domestic abuse. I am also a survivor and it breaks my heart that men don't get the same sympathy as women do in this arena. I'm glad you are alive. EDIT: the amount of healing you have reached moved me to tears Rob. You are such a beautiful individual and your daughter is very lucky to have you.
I work teaching young adults and we provide students with links to domestic violence links when we go through support services available and I have to remind my male students that these resources are for them as well and they should be aware of them because many don’t think about it.
@@jessicascoullar3737 Not sure whether you’re in the U.K. but here there are even advertisements showing men who are confined to their bed rooms not allowed out (by their partners) to mix with friends etc It isn’t awareness that’s the problem here, it’s gender. The Police and Social Services simply will do nothing, in fact if the man complains they are more likely to arrest him based on any defensive false accusations , their key phrase is “Listen and believe” (to the female), in fact I don’t think the Police care who they arrest as long as they get a statistic, it’s just easier for them to pick on a male as the subsequent system supports that. This is how men get cornered and psychologically and physically abused in cases like this one.
There’s an unspoken epidemic on my reservation, probably most if not all, with regard to the sexual abuse of boys in boarding schools who became men. The shame they carry is deep. Women talk about it some while the majority of men remain silent.
They won't because the people that control the media are men. And men don't even care about abuse against men. A lot of men don't even think women can abuse men, or sexually assault them. Alot of men don't take it seriously. There is alot more improvement in men confiding in other men but realistically, it's not great. Until men start caring more for themselves and for other men, nothing will change really. The ball has always been in men's court tbh.
It happens all too often and it’s swept under the rug, because they are women. Women are the most psychologically abusive and manipulative. They get away with so much because they use their I’m only a woman card.
Wow, this hit hard. 26 Years in a marriage here to a lady who was wonderful initially, and gave me an amazing son. But as years went on i suffered 20 odd years of abuse. Ive been punched, smacked, kicked. All day long every day it was "you this, you that", im so useless, etc etc. After a while you start to believe it. In the end it was actually her who said she wanted a divorce stating "she was unhappy with me". Very funny. I think it was eventually she ran out of ways to abuse me.
I truly hope that this experience will prevent you from allowing it to happen in a future relationship. If you notice these signs in another partner, please be the one to walk away, first
I understand bro, I just turned 50 and im single and have been around a lot of abusive relationships. I totally respect your opinion. Hindsight is 20/20 and I'm sure you would have done something sooner if you realized you were in an abusive relationship, but I just don't want you to avoid them in the future because of how horrible she was to you and because of it you subconsciously don't think you deserve one. You deserve happiness bro and I hate to think that a wonderful woman out there would want to show you the love and respect you deserve but you're closed off to it because of your horrible ex. Chin up brutha, hope you're happy. We deserve it.
He has an amazing way of speaking. He chooses his words carefully and he phrases things so concisely. Shows a very high level of intelligence, which he clearly has. I wish this man nothing but peace and happiness in his future. I hope his daughter grows up knowing that even though her mom sucks, she's got a great father who loves her.
This is chilling. I went through exactly this (bar the murder plot) with my ex. Like he says, it starts off small and builds up incrementally. Then eventually after 2 years, I was cut off from my family who i’ve always been very close too, I never saw my friends, I couldn’t even have my squash how I wanted it, she had access to all of my social media, banking apps, emails, even my linkedin! I one day woke up and tried to leave and she blocked off the doors and said if I touched her she’d call the police. I managed to get around her without touching her and she chased me out of the house. She then called me and said she’s cancelled my car insurance. A truly evil person and this account was incredible with how much it mirrored my own experience with a cohersivally controlling relationship. Any of you out there going through this, it’s not right and you have to speak to people and escape. Thank you for sharing.
Hi AJ, I hope you have found peace and calm in your life after experiencing that terrible evil. I can empathise entirely because a few years ago my (then) wife tried to kill me. The frustrating part is that I could not prove it and no one would believe me anyway. This was not a mere suspicion, but an actual event when there could be no doubt that her intentions were to accidently (on purpose) end my life. She was a senior health and safety officer, which gave all the more credence to her intentions because such an 'accident' was not conceivable to have been an accident by such a person. Thank you for sharing too AJ. Take care.
Boundaries. Nobody gets your social media, personal information, phone password, insurance information, credit cards, debit cards, wallet, keys, car, or bank account information.
I hope their daughter grows up as healthy and as stable as possible cos the trauma she must’ve gone through while her mum was free then finding out her mum tried to kill her dad is madness
I was in an abusive relationship, and I felt so silenced. I felt silenced for years after, too, like the weight of the words I had to say was too much to breathe into the universe. Thank you for speaking up, Rob.
Yep. I was in one. It isn't like on your first date they punch you in the face. I was in two the second one we had a son. My friends and relatives would tell me to be nice to my husband they didn't know what he was doing to me. It takes a lot to get out!
I know that feeling well. I hope to never attach like that to anyone again. I would rather live in a cave alone than that intense rollercoaster ride of emotions and obsessive thoughts... It's almost like a form of mental illness
Agreed, been in more than one unfortunately. It always starts of small and they slowly escalate over time. And each person had a different method and behavior. So it can be hard to realize how fucky it is until it's really escalates. Growing up with abusive parents made my red flag detector kinda defective tbh. Being in therapy for 8 years has helped a lot. still afraid of it happening again so I'm not looking atm.
Rob, I am so sorry you were abused. Women who abuse men often get away with it because society doesn't view women as capable of abusing me, but they can and clearly do. You are brave!!!!
What I hate about abusive relationships, both men and women, is that after the relationship is done, that person can no longer trust the other gender and it totally scars their view on them as a whole and it’s a shame because ultimately 90% of people wouldn’t ever think of acting in that way
the thing is, there is a spectrum in the matter.. abuse is not black or white, you can suffer it in a lot of ways. Not all the abusers will try to kill you but they will abuse you anyways. Lucky are the people who can say they never decided to have a relationship with one or meet one. And when the case is more common than anyone thinks, thanks to social media, you start to think that anyone has the potential to abuse. It is really rare to live a life deprived totally of "toxic" people and the majority only learns how to evade them only when they already had an experience with one of them.
That's how I feel, and it hurts when I have negative thoughts towards a group of people because one person hurt me. 5 years later it's still a struggle. My abuser had borderline personality disorder. Very scary stuff.
@@strongest32 I think this is well put. It's hard to train for every sign because it happens in so many ways. i.e. Your parents may be toxic in one way and you try to marry someone completely different, but it turns out they are toxic but exhibited in different ways. It's impossible to ever know all the signs. You're usually neck deep in the mess before it becomes apparent because people don't usual lead with being horrible, it devolves. Anyone could end up a victim, be it in a family, romantic relationship or even friendship.
It’s sad cause this is the reason why I distrust men :/ and idk I feel bad cause I know NOT ALL men are like that. I’m sure there’s some wonderful men out there, but because of the trauma etc etc I just can’t trust anyone (/I dislike them etc etc.) tho I wish to stop feeling that way but, not many people understand how HARD and complicated this shit is and how complex emotions are /: Idk it’s a sucky situation to be in, no one deserves to go through that shxt
@@lxlx7941 it is easy to differenciate good men from evil men if you are a woman. Take in consideration those who enjoy being with you outside the bed and those who make an effort to know the real you. BUT don't abuse them by taking advantage of their good intentions, love them back, be grateful to them.
I’m so glad they interviewed Rob for this. A lot of things he said resonated with a recent relationship I’ve had. I now realise she likely has petulant borderline personality disorder. Incredibly controlling, perpetual liar, very narcissistic, manipulative and essentially wore me down day by day. Towards the end of our relationship, I was a shadow of my prior self… it only took 18 months. She then tried to trap me in by getting pregnant. The breakup was arguably the worst time of my life, not helped by various accusations from herself and involving social workers etc. It’s astounding to me how quickly people see a woman as the automatic victim, and don’t even consider asking for the other side of the story. I had one of her nurses telling me and my family were disgusting, the first time we’d met… All of which came from things my ex had said… We now have a child together which has its own challenges but I’m making the most of it. I hope more people like this are given the chance to share their story, as what goes on behind closed doors can surprise most people
Young people really need to be taught how to spot the signs and recognize them in their friends. We all know someone in a similar/ if less severe situation
Indeed. Wooh boy this topic always tugs at a ball of hatred in me. So many f**khead abusers just get away with everything. It's downright disturbing how many people get into relationships with the _"This is for me and what I want!"-entitlement_ which justifies ever-increasing abuse to those sacks of garbage. Gaslighting, guilt-tripping manipulation, threats and negative double binds are far more common in relationships than people realize. I swear if I have to listen one more of my friends open up in tears about how _"My boyfriend/girlfriend constantly berates me and blames me for him/her being miserable with me."_ and then it turns out the other person is 100% the asshole making themself miserable with crappy decisions and taking it all out on _"their"_ partner... I kid you not there was even a guy who tried to tell one of my friends that she wasn't allowed to end the relationship or he would be "rightfully entitled" to *"kill her for unacceptable treachery"* and it literally took me and three other friends making the guy afraid for his life to get him out of hers. And at times I still think he should've _disappeared_ instead. 😡
I think with young people today it's actually gone the other way. Every tiny thing is seen as abuse. What they need to be taught is how to distinguish something that either isn't abuse at all, or a micro-aggression, with actual abuse. These days youngsters will dismiss people or shout abuse over nothing.
@@M4nvrs And you're speaking from what understanding of the matter exactly? If anything it's entitled boomers and older Gen X:ers throwing hissy fits and yelling at millenials about everything. Or should we perhaps move past the generalization of entire generations based on their worst few, _hm?_
The scary thing is this just sounded like a normal relationship at first. Also the manipulation telling everyone that he was an abuser is such a common trait amongst many women (not all but a significant minority). My mom was like this and I had an ex that would claim her exes were abusive just to find out it was manipulative behavior and she was actually the abusive one.
i wish i could be as forgiving as him, i still despise her after 12 years. i have managed to understand the 'why' but i can simply not accept she did all those things to me. i applaud your positive attitude, i envy it, you are such a strong and gentle man, you deserve the world
It's not easy, but I did it by realising somehow I didn't need to know why, I tried talking to her coz I thought we'd both wanna let the resentment go. She didn't, she got angry, I was still content. I somehow just found a way to let it go.
We are taught through fairy tales and movies that high emotion and "whirlwind romance" means "true love"...that couldn't be further from the truth. Real secure love takes time
@@helpmeImpoor5314THISS! What the media does in perpetuating the fairy tale of “crazy love” or that people fighting each other often is a sign of caring for each other is disgusting
Easier said than done when you are the one in a relationship like that. It becomes that way before you realize it and then you are already in it. Plus, the intensity of it is so intoxicating that you are feeling on top of the world. And so why end that awesome feeling?
@@bdawg2513 Ditto on what you're saying and also, it can mean nothing. Countless relationships begin on a high and turn out completely normal. I would say it's not the intensity, but how much give and take there is. Victoria seemed to take, solely.
So many men are suffering abuse and stay silent, aren't believed etc. this man is so brave and anyone going through this please talk to someone that loves you and get help. YOU DESERVE To be SAFE, HAPPY, HEALTHY etc
Oh yeah. I remember seeing this on a police documentary, Victoria being unbelievably manipulative in every single sense of the word, including with the police. Thank god this woman was caught before she could instigate any further damage to this man, to his life and family. I hope he is healing from the abuse and the trauma that came from this terrifying situation. 🙏🏼❤️
It’s a shame that men feel a stigma that they can’t ask for help. I am glad he has spoken about this and seemed to have raised a wonderful daughter despite her mother’s ill intentions towards her father. I hope you have a good rest of your life.
I was in an abusive marriage for 10 years in which I almost didn't survive, though in a very different way. It's hard for us as men to talk about this. This man is stronger than I am. Almost 4 years out and it's still hard. Feels like no one cares, or at least understands. This fella has made amazing journey in healing, and it's admirable, even inspiring for me.
I learned this about my ex wife in the summer of 2022 while we were going through our divorce….. It’s completely devastating when it hits you. It’s also something that I feel I will never heal from.
@@theunknown6066 I’m working with someone currently. It’s a little easier to deal with, but it’s still been pretty devastating to my life, and specifically anything around women and trust.
@@cfhfan2000I pray you heal but as someone who has been in near death moments it’s hard to heal. You think of how someone you seen you knew can look at you with pure evil in their eyes. You don’t unsee horrors not matter the therapy
I'm a man commenting on my wife's account. 12 years ago I survived being poisoned by my ex. She was never formally diagnosed but I firmly believe she was a psychopath. She wasn't angry at me. I just had become inconvenient to her. I didn't see it coming because I was ignorant of personality disorders at the time but there were plenty of red flags I ignored.
Violence against men, not just women, in a relationship is unfortunately more common than people think. This video and other media like it are so important in bringing awareness that not only can it happen but there can be grave intent and consequences if ignored, downplayed or underestimated. My heart goes out to Rob Parkes and his daughter as they bravely endeavour to live beyond survivorship. 💟
You're a courageous man to publicly tell your tale, I hope this will give others the strength to get out of a bad relationship which is probably your motive for telling your tale.
this one hit me, espcially the beginning ... in my final year I got into a relationship which turned toxic, abusive. Very intense like what Rob had said and kind of addictive, and later it was getting more difficult to leave her side or see other people. Thankfully I got out of that ... but watching this interview helps me see how awful things could have gotten if I had continued
I think this is the same dude (and woman) from a 2-part 24 Hours In Police Custody. It’s called “The Black Widow”. She is genuinely chilling, so manipulative, I’d be so concerned for anyone who comes into contact with her in the future, I hope she is heavily supervised once released. I 100% recommend watching it. Wishing you the best for the future Rob, and your daughter.
This man is a gem. His in-depth understanding, not hatred, of the men she manipulated into potentially murdering him, is an honour to his character and intellect. He is a compassionate gentleman!
The awful thing happened to me but it was the opposite and my male narcissist ex did everything to kill me. I am still alive and the kids are away. I thank this man for his openness.
This is where men often do not get the support they need. It's very common for men to just keep quiet because admitting to being abused by a woman is seen as weak by many people. Social experiments have been done on this in public, where an actor would pretend to be the victim and the other the abuser. When its a man being shouted at, kicked and slapped by a Woman. Alot of bystanders just look and laugh and do nothing. But when its a woman being abused in exactly the same way, people instantly rush in to intervene. There is a massive gulf when it comes to peoples perceptions of abuse. Men CAN and DO get abused! And I'd love to see a society where this is taken alot more seriously.
I left my second marriage as it was just getting more and more abusive. When a woman leaves an abusive husband she's lauded. When a man leaves an abusive woman, he's abandoned her. This was my experience. My case was control and coercion. Her family members still give me abuse when I see them in town.
@@brushhead That really sucks man. 😥 Sorry to hear you've had a rough deal. Try your best to ignore them at all costs. They really don't seem worth any of your time. Best of luck man.
Very well put. It's absurd when we think about it, as if men have no feelings and can just shrug off abuse as if it doesn't affect them. As a man, I keep could my calm during my marriage from hell, but I was crying and screaming inside. I thank god that I am now divorced and live in peace. Thanks for telling it like it is. Stay safe Andy.
Yes, and it is horrible! The father of my kids' friend was abused by his wife and although they separated she controlled him by threatening to take away the child in which she was not interested! Raising awareness and giving help regardless of gender is so very much needed!
I wish more men would speak out about domestic abuse. The media and some politicians want this issue to be brushed under the carpet. But most statistics show that men account for almost half of domestic abuse victims, but most feel afraid to speak out.
What statistics show that men account for almost half of DA victims? What I see it says 1/7 men will be abused in their lifetime and 1/4 women and those numbers don’t add up with what you’re saying.
@@pri.sci.lla. Still, he makes a valid point. For example, 'believe all women' should not be a thing. It can't be unless one is ignoring the fact that women can also be abusive and manipulative (A.H. comes to mind... turns out it was her abusing him). All abuse is bad, yet we only hear about female victims, and only very rarely about males (partly because they tend to keep it to themselves, tbf. Or they just off themselves...).
Man here! I am a survivor of domestic abuse that has devastated my life. My ex-wife destroyed me financially, destroyed my relationship with all my friends because she was secretly telling them that I was abusive. I can get over the financial loss and the loss of my friends, but I can’t get over the loss of my son because of her allegations of abuse that were totally unsubstantiated. She devastated my life for financial gain. Life could have been so much better for use as a family if her greed hadn’t of clouded her judgement. Stay strong fellas.
Great that this story has been shared. It is clearly on the more extreme end of the scale but there are so many aspects that ring true for a lot of abusive relationships. Slowly but surely trying to isolate someone from family and friends is a big one and you have to be very stubborn to resist that. It is easy for an abusive person to convince someone that they spend too much time with friends. So the victim will try and 'correct' the behaviour and soon enough falls out of touch with those people. At that point they assume you are too loved up to socialise and you assume they won't want to hear from you. All the while the reality is hidden.
My husband has 2 daughters from his first marriage. They validated his claims of abuse when they said"remember when mom hit you with her gun bc she couldn't find the bullets to shoot you?!?" And then they cackled. The hurt, shame and fear that crossed his face?that's when I stopped caring for them.
@@Man-Made-of-wood no time like the present for ANYbody to learn some manners n compassion. When you've had the same experience, then you can advise , until then, step off.
@@Man-Made-of-woodeven if they’re children you don’t make fun of your father’s abuse this is why men rarely inform anyone else about their abuse because of statements like yours
I had the same kind of relationship with a girl, it lasted only 2 years, but looking back it was horrifying how changed my life and her attitude step by step. Always just a little day by day so I thought everything is normal. I remember two big turning points in my situation: first was when she questioned that is it neccessary to visit my mom on mother's day. (the day before that was ok to visit her mom) The second was that my friends told me in recent months we don't see each other very often, and I'm so weird, not the same as before. I see so much relationships around me like this, so the most important: in a healthy relationship your partner can't ask you to turn your back to your friends/family/hobby, if these don't affect your life negatively.
Rob explained SO well what I went through for 14 years to my ex husband. The abuse starts out so slow, and it's so insidious....it's hard to explain to another person...but he did a fabulous job. Rob, I'm so sorry for what you've been through but it needs to be known that in this type of abuse , there is no respecter of persons, race, male or female, rich or poor, it doesn't matter 😢 Everyone/Anyone is a possible target.
This makes me sad. I was in a mentally and physically abusive relationship for almost 5 years. I have never wanted to have a serious relationship again. It was based on the chemistry between us and very much an addiction. I will never let it happen again.
I've known dudes who have been abused. They're the caring, empathetic, and most loving. The person who is right for you will make you feel supported, not crushed. They brighten your light, not dim it.
This guy must be a very strong person and respect to him for sharing his story. Hopefully the whole ordeal has not impacted his daughter too much. It’s a shame you didn’t ask him what he thought about when his ex-wife gets released from prison.
The relationship between the couple was over, the murder attempt was by the latest partner of the ex-wife, who had tried to get earlier partners to kill off her first ex-husband.
It's very telling that things got worse once the child was born because now all his attention was on his child instead of on her. Any normal person would also put all their attention on their child, only a narc would be offended that they weren't the centre of attention anymore. but it also means that you're more firmly stuck together because of the child you have together.
I was in a narcissistic relationship. Forever trapped with accusations of cheating and this and that. Turns out my ex was the one doing it all and portraying that guilt onto me. I can think of 3 occasions where I thought hang on!? Love prevailed and didn't want to believe it. Thank you for telling your story mate, you don't realise the psychological abuse men go through because you are engrained to think domestic abuse is only man on woman. 👏
So sorry this happened to him and his family. I think it's a brave and amazing thing that men are able to open up with their own stories of abuse. Not to mention recognizing that women are just as capable of domestic abuse as well. Thank goodness her plan failed and that he and his family are doing well.
Amen brother…. I’m going through something similar now… currently been charged after she made allegations that I tried to kill her… have a crown court trial set for the end of next year. I’m the criminal here. The police won’t listen to me that actually the abuse she claims against her was actually towards me. Guilty until proven innocent.
Thank you for sharing your story, Rob. It's cathartic, it's helpful, so clearly explained what this can look like. I'm so sorry you've experienced something like this.
5 minutes in and this sounds so much like my brother and his wife. Thankfully she hasn’t tried to kill him, but he’s definitely been “taken away” from his family.
Knowing me........if a woman started abusing me, especially physically....I would move on. If for any reason I couldn't or she wouldn't leave me alone I know that only one of us wasn't going to walk out of that situation....and it wouldn't be her.
I don’t know if I’m in an abusive relationship. It’s not physically abusive. But I can’t go anywhere or do anything. He follows me and tracks me. If I’m 5 mins late from work he phones or goes out in his car looking for me.
It might not be one yet but I can assure you that’s not normal. A relationship is about trust. Talk about it with your partner and if it won’t change leave. My grandpa was highly controlling and eventually abusive. Whenever the abuser starts feeling like they can’t track you and control you they will find a way to feel in control of you (aka emotional/physical abuse).Sending you lots of love!! Please don’t stay if you see the red flags
Well done to Rob for speaking out! Men need to be believed and encouraged to speak out. And to know NOT to put up with it, that it isn't weak to leave.
After having been through this type of relationship with this type of woman, its made me fear relationships far more than desire them. There is an automatic concern that the next partner will be more adversary than friend. And that I will have to defend myself from someone who is supposed to love me; to be on my team. I have endless compassion for anyone who has been thru this. And while then gender is ultimately unimportant, the dynamic is far less recognized for men. May you all be happy, at peace and liberated from all suffering, trauma and anything less than the full and complete truth.
A big red FLAG to pay attention to when you first meet someone is to watch how intense it is especially if it's moving really fast. That's not LOVE. It's real easy to make excuses for it. But don't. It's not LOVE. If they get upset because you want time to yourself or you want to go out with a friend or you want to go on a holiday by yourself, that's NOT Love. You can and will meet someone better for you. What he experienced in the beginning is LOVE BOMBING. Abuse wasn't his fault, that lies with the abusive person.
Anyone whos going through something traumatic, remember it will get better! The way alot of the people on this channel talk, you can tell they spent time unpacking these emotions with a professional. It takes time and alot of support to get to this point.
My narcissistic mother did something similar to me. She spoke ill of me, told stories which she exaggerated about me to get people to hate me. She turned my family against me, my exes, random people that never met me. I've been threatened all over for a year plus now. I am in the shelter system. I don't know if it's a danger or safety sometimes. All I can do is pray to God and tell my story wherever I can. While they spread hatred, I'm telling Truths. It is yet to be seen if I will make it, but I won't ever stop doing what I can to escape what these people have done. By myself. I can't speak to people much because this situation has effected me but I fight and I retain myself. I will attain my freedom, peace, and independence again. These stories are empowering, sombering, and inspiring. There ARE narcissistic abusers and there ARE survivors. God told me that there is evidence. So God forbid anything were to happen to me, something will surely come for them. They all have to be stopped of all the filth they're all putting out into the world. However that may come to pass.
This is so important to raise. Domestic violence against men by women is a taboo subject sadly. This story is absolutely horrific. I'm glad this chap has moved on with his life and I'd like to thank him for sharing his experience, I hope more men feel able to talk about this and report it to Police.
Men, you deserve better, too ❤ Please know that you are worthy of love, attention, safety, adoration, you are worth being heard, seen, and accepted. We all are worthy and deserving of this, don't forget it!
This broke my heart 💔 as someone who was abused by my children a dad and has finally healed and welcomed a healthy connection into my life, I feel so angry that women can get away with such things. I am so sorry you suffered yet so proud you told your story 😢❤
My story is not nearly as severe as his and doesn't belong on the tube. But it's a classic example of what he is talking about here. These types of relationships often develop way too fast, they seem way too interested, there's love bombing and things often seem "too perfect", and too good to be true. A lot of people with cluster b personality disorders always need to be in control. Especially narcissists.
Thank you for highlighting this. Many men suffer in silence like this. I did this for 25 years please understand that women abuse men. Not easy for men to talk about it in a culture where they are seen as the problem. Maybe a time for both genders to come together as equal and honest rather than demonize each other. x
How did they get the recording of Victoria and the dealer? That is the most important evidence of her being caught, and yet, we get no explanation? WHO recorded the conversation? And how did it end up in the polices hands?
24hrs in police custdy do a 2parter on this. Her current fella at the time thought she was cheating so he left a phone recording to catch her and recorded her with the dealer,crazy story
That bit about him and his daughter at the end,I’m glad he got something of true value outta that toxic relationship,a child he can love and connect with,it’s the silver lining to this particular story hopefully…
Wow, I wish him and his daughter the best. I hope his ex never gets to see her daughter again. I can imagine she would try to poison their daughter against him.
Thank you for sharing a story of men. Men have been victims as well, and that needs to be understood. Thanks for the great channel, I will be sure to share!
1 and a half years here with an abusive partner. Same thing here, she took me away from my friends completely, and only wanted to spend time together. we’ve thankfully been split up one and a half years now, but as dumb as it sounds it took me months to get back into a social routine again, it was like mentally I had been conditioned to not be sociable anymore
Thank you Rob for being willing to share your story as a male survivor of domestic abuse. I am also a survivor and it breaks my heart that men don't get the same sympathy as women do in this arena. I'm glad you are alive.
EDIT: the amount of healing you have reached moved me to tears Rob. You are such a beautiful individual and your daughter is very lucky to have you.
Good shout all round
It’s not just that the Police have no sympathy, they don’t even listen if you’re a man!
Respect. Hope you're both doing better
I work teaching young adults and we provide students with links to domestic violence links when we go through support services available and I have to remind my male students that these resources are for them as well and they should be aware of them because many don’t think about it.
@@jessicascoullar3737 Not sure whether you’re in the U.K. but here there are even advertisements showing men who are confined to their bed rooms not allowed out (by their partners) to mix with friends etc It isn’t awareness that’s the problem here, it’s gender. The Police and Social Services simply will do nothing, in fact if the man complains they are more likely to arrest him based on any defensive false accusations , their key phrase is “Listen and believe” (to the female), in fact I don’t think the Police care who they arrest as long as they get a statistic, it’s just easier for them to pick on a male as the subsequent system supports that. This is how men get cornered and psychologically and physically abused in cases like this one.
This subject of abuse on men needs to be addressed more in all media. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Lmao soy boys they aint men
There’s an unspoken epidemic on my reservation, probably most if not all, with regard to the sexual abuse of boys in boarding schools who became men. The shame they carry is deep. Women talk about it some while the majority of men remain silent.
I hope one day it won't matter on the sex of the victims... Victims are victims and should be dealt with equally.
They won't because the people that control the media are men. And men don't even care about abuse against men. A lot of men don't even think women can abuse men, or sexually assault them. Alot of men don't take it seriously. There is alot more improvement in men confiding in other men but realistically, it's not great. Until men start caring more for themselves and for other men, nothing will change really. The ball has always been in men's court tbh.
It happens all too often and it’s swept under the rug, because they are women. Women are the most psychologically abusive and manipulative. They get away with so much because they use their I’m only a woman card.
Wow, this hit hard. 26 Years in a marriage here to a lady who was wonderful initially, and gave me an amazing son. But as years went on i suffered 20 odd years of abuse. Ive been punched, smacked, kicked. All day long every day it was "you this, you that", im so useless, etc etc. After a while you start to believe it. In the end it was actually her who said she wanted a divorce stating "she was unhappy with me". Very funny. I think it was eventually she ran out of ways to abuse me.
That’s awful, hope you’re feeling okay now. You’re so brave. I don’t think I would survive that
Cuck
I truly hope that this experience will prevent you from allowing it to happen in a future relationship. If you notice these signs in another partner, please be the one to walk away, first
@@MelchVagquest Honestly dont think i will ever have another relationship. Mid 50's now and would rather spend my remaining years single.
I understand bro, I just turned 50 and im single and have been around a lot of abusive relationships. I totally respect your opinion. Hindsight is 20/20 and I'm sure you would have done something sooner if you realized you were in an abusive relationship, but I just don't want you to avoid them in the future because of how horrible she was to you and because of it you subconsciously don't think you deserve one. You deserve happiness bro and I hate to think that a wonderful woman out there would want to show you the love and respect you deserve but you're closed off to it because of your horrible ex. Chin up brutha, hope you're happy. We deserve it.
He has an amazing way of speaking. He chooses his words carefully and he phrases things so concisely. Shows a very high level of intelligence, which he clearly has. I wish this man nothing but peace and happiness in his future. I hope his daughter grows up knowing that even though her mom sucks, she's got a great father who loves her.
This is chilling. I went through exactly this (bar the murder plot) with my ex. Like he says, it starts off small and builds up incrementally. Then eventually after 2 years, I was cut off from my family who i’ve always been very close too, I never saw my friends, I couldn’t even have my squash how I wanted it, she had access to all of my social media, banking apps, emails, even my linkedin! I one day woke up and tried to leave and she blocked off the doors and said if I touched her she’d call the police. I managed to get around her without touching her and she chased me out of the house. She then called me and said she’s cancelled my car insurance. A truly evil person and this account was incredible with how much it mirrored my own experience with a cohersivally controlling relationship. Any of you out there going through this, it’s not right and you have to speak to people and escape. Thank you for sharing.
Thankfully u left and are now happy and safe. So many men go through this and stay silent
Hi AJ, I hope you have found peace and calm in your life after experiencing that terrible evil.
I can empathise entirely because a few years ago my (then) wife tried to kill me. The frustrating part is that I could not prove it and no one would believe me anyway. This was not a mere suspicion, but an actual event when there could be no doubt that her intentions were to accidently (on purpose) end my life. She was a senior health and safety officer, which gave all the more credence to her intentions because such an 'accident' was not conceivable to have been an accident by such a person. Thank you for sharing too AJ. Take care.
Boundaries. Nobody gets your social media, personal information, phone password, insurance information, credit cards, debit cards, wallet, keys, car, or bank account information.
Bless you, I lost my son to same type of woman, he took his life 😢
I hope their daughter grows up as healthy and as stable as possible cos the trauma she must’ve gone through while her mum was free then finding out her mum tried to kill her dad is madness
Pray 🙏 so
Unfortunately they always end up like their mothers, that’s why you must choose your partners wisely and not on a whim
She’s female… in America…. Don’t hold your breath
I was in an abusive relationship, and I felt so silenced. I felt silenced for years after, too, like the weight of the words I had to say was too much to breathe into the universe. Thank you for speaking up, Rob.
I sense the female questioner's 'emotional neutrality' is giving away her silent 'sympathies' with any (common?) murderous wife . . .
you not getting everything you want all the time from the guy you want is not "abuse"
@proseyootoob ...a murder plot is, tho lmao
@@domeatown you wouldn’t be laughing if you were ever worried. Every woman is a trauma victim. Real victims don’t giggle and lie about it
@proseyootoob I am aware of your opinion
Thank you to Rob for taking part in this episode.
yes thank you Rob
Great video 👏🏻
Thank you for being so vulnerable.
He's an incredible person
You should do a campaign to teach youngsters how to identify if they are in an abusive relationship and how to potentially avoid it.
After surviving an abusive relationship its sad to admit that things happen so fast and before you know it youre trapped
Yep. I was in one. It isn't like on your first date they punch you in the face. I was in two the second one we had a son. My friends and relatives would tell me to be nice to my husband they didn't know what he was doing to me. It takes a lot to get out!
I know that feeling well. I hope to never attach like that to anyone again. I would rather live in a cave alone than that intense rollercoaster ride of emotions and obsessive thoughts... It's almost like a form of mental illness
@@mlthornton1 Unbelievably ignorant comment. Dismissing an abusive relationship as merely a "heated argument", good grief!
Agreed, been in more than one unfortunately. It always starts of small and they slowly escalate over time. And each person had a different method and behavior. So it can be hard to realize how fucky it is until it's really escalates. Growing up with abusive parents made my red flag detector kinda defective tbh. Being in therapy for 8 years has helped a lot. still afraid of it happening again so I'm not looking atm.
Yeah, it becomes your reality
Rob, I am so sorry you were abused. Women who abuse men often get away with it because society doesn't view women as capable of abusing me, but they can and clearly do. You are brave!!!!
What I hate about abusive relationships, both men and women, is that after the relationship is done, that person can no longer trust the other gender and it totally scars their view on them as a whole and it’s a shame because ultimately 90% of people wouldn’t ever think of acting in that way
the thing is, there is a spectrum in the matter.. abuse is not black or white, you can suffer it in a lot of ways. Not all the abusers will try to kill you but they will abuse you anyways. Lucky are the people who can say they never decided to have a relationship with one or meet one. And when the case is more common than anyone thinks, thanks to social media, you start to think that anyone has the potential to abuse. It is really rare to live a life deprived totally of "toxic" people and the majority only learns how to evade them only when they already had an experience with one of them.
That's how I feel, and it hurts when I have negative thoughts towards a group of people because one person hurt me. 5 years later it's still a struggle. My abuser had borderline personality disorder. Very scary stuff.
@@strongest32 I think this is well put. It's hard to train for every sign because it happens in so many ways. i.e. Your parents may be toxic in one way and you try to marry someone completely different, but it turns out they are toxic but exhibited in different ways. It's impossible to ever know all the signs. You're usually neck deep in the mess before it becomes apparent because people don't usual lead with being horrible, it devolves. Anyone could end up a victim, be it in a family, romantic relationship or even friendship.
It’s sad cause this is the reason why I distrust men :/ and idk I feel bad cause I know NOT ALL men are like that.
I’m sure there’s some wonderful men out there, but because of the trauma etc etc I just can’t trust anyone (/I dislike them etc etc.) tho I wish to stop feeling that way but, not many people understand how HARD and complicated this shit is and how complex emotions are /:
Idk it’s a sucky situation to be in, no one deserves to go through that shxt
@@lxlx7941 it is easy to differenciate good men from evil men if you are a woman. Take in consideration those who enjoy being with you outside the bed and those who make an effort to know the real you. BUT don't abuse them by taking advantage of their good intentions, love them back, be grateful to them.
I’m so glad they interviewed Rob for this. A lot of things he said resonated with a recent relationship I’ve had. I now realise she likely has petulant borderline personality disorder. Incredibly controlling, perpetual liar, very narcissistic, manipulative and essentially wore me down day by day. Towards the end of our relationship, I was a shadow of my prior self… it only took 18 months. She then tried to trap me in by getting pregnant. The breakup was arguably the worst time of my life, not helped by various accusations from herself and involving social workers etc.
It’s astounding to me how quickly people see a woman as the automatic victim, and don’t even consider asking for the other side of the story. I had one of her nurses telling me and my family were disgusting, the first time we’d met… All of which came from things my ex had said…
We now have a child together which has its own challenges but I’m making the most of it.
I hope more people like this are given the chance to share their story, as what goes on behind closed doors can surprise most people
Young people really need to be taught how to spot the signs and recognize them in their friends. We all know someone in a similar/ if less severe situation
Absolutely. It’s so important. This along with consent should be taught early in adolescence.
Indeed.
Wooh boy this topic always tugs at a ball of hatred in me.
So many f**khead abusers just get away with everything.
It's downright disturbing how many people get into relationships with the _"This is for me and what I want!"-entitlement_ which justifies ever-increasing abuse to those sacks of garbage.
Gaslighting, guilt-tripping manipulation, threats and negative double binds are far more common in relationships than people realize.
I swear if I have to listen one more of my friends open up in tears about how _"My boyfriend/girlfriend constantly berates me and blames me for him/her being miserable with me."_ and then it turns out the other person is 100% the asshole making themself miserable with crappy decisions and taking it all out on _"their"_ partner...
I kid you not there was even a guy who tried to tell one of my friends that she wasn't allowed to end the relationship or he would be "rightfully entitled" to *"kill her for unacceptable treachery"* and it literally took me and three other friends making the guy afraid for his life to get him out of hers.
And at times I still think he should've _disappeared_ instead. 😡
I think with young people today it's actually gone the other way. Every tiny thing is seen as abuse. What they need to be taught is how to distinguish something that either isn't abuse at all, or a micro-aggression, with actual abuse. These days youngsters will dismiss people or shout abuse over nothing.
@@M4nvrs
And you're speaking from what understanding of the matter exactly?
If anything it's entitled boomers and older Gen X:ers throwing hissy fits and yelling at millenials about everything.
Or should we perhaps move past the generalization of entire generations based on their worst few, _hm?_
The scary thing is this just sounded like a normal relationship at first. Also the manipulation telling everyone that he was an abuser is such a common trait amongst many women (not all but a significant minority). My mom was like this and I had an ex that would claim her exes were abusive just to find out it was manipulative behavior and she was actually the abusive one.
Well done to the guy for speaking up. Takes a huge amount of courage to do so. The healing process is an incredibly tough slog.
A brave man. So good he’s speaking out to help others. I left a 22 year relationship with an abusive man. Very hard but the best thing I ever did.
i wish i could be as forgiving as him, i still despise her after 12 years. i have managed to understand the 'why' but i can simply not accept she did all those things to me. i applaud your positive attitude, i envy it, you are such a strong and gentle man, you deserve the world
It's not easy, but I did it by realising somehow I didn't need to know why, I tried talking to her coz I thought we'd both wanna let the resentment go. She didn't, she got angry, I was still content. I somehow just found a way to let it go.
If a relationship feels too intense too fast get out of there asap
Yes and yes. ❤
We are taught through fairy tales and movies that high emotion and "whirlwind romance" means "true love"...that couldn't be further from the truth. Real secure love takes time
@@helpmeImpoor5314THISS! What the media does in perpetuating the fairy tale of “crazy love” or that people fighting each other often is a sign of caring for each other is disgusting
Easier said than done when you are the one in a relationship like that. It becomes that way before you realize it and then you are already in it. Plus, the intensity of it is so intoxicating that you are feeling on top of the world. And so why end that awesome feeling?
@@bdawg2513 Ditto on what you're saying and also, it can mean nothing. Countless relationships begin on a high and turn out completely normal. I would say it's not the intensity, but how much give and take there is. Victoria seemed to take, solely.
So many men are suffering abuse and stay silent, aren't believed etc. this man is so brave and anyone going through this please talk to someone that loves you and get help.
YOU DESERVE To be SAFE, HAPPY, HEALTHY etc
Oh yeah. I remember seeing this on a police documentary, Victoria being unbelievably manipulative in every single sense of the word, including with the police. Thank god this woman was caught before she could instigate any further damage to this man, to his life and family.
I hope he is healing from the abuse and the trauma that came from this terrifying situation. 🙏🏼❤️
What was the doc called!
@@yojoe8892It was 24 hours in police custody, and I think the episode was called “Black Widow” You definitely see how vindictive she is. 🤮
I believe you Rob.
I was in a Domestic Violence situation as well. Stay Blessed!
It’s a shame that men feel a stigma that they can’t ask for help. I am glad he has spoken about this and seemed to have raised a wonderful daughter despite her mother’s ill intentions towards her father. I hope you have a good rest of your life.
I was in an abusive marriage for 10 years in which I almost didn't survive, though in a very different way. It's hard for us as men to talk about this. This man is stronger than I am. Almost 4 years out and it's still hard. Feels like no one cares, or at least understands.
This fella has made amazing journey in healing, and it's admirable, even inspiring for me.
I learned this about my ex wife in the summer of 2022 while we were going through our divorce…..
It’s completely devastating when it hits you. It’s also something that I feel I will never heal from.
You will heal
I second that, you will heal. Seek therapy and talk about your experience. Trust me you are not alone, I'm so sorry you have experienced this.
@@theunknown6066
I’m working with someone currently.
It’s a little easier to deal with, but it’s still been pretty devastating to my life, and specifically anything around women and trust.
takes time, but find help and take all the time you need. eventually you will start to feel like yourself again.
@@cfhfan2000I pray you heal but as someone who has been in near death moments it’s hard to heal. You think of how someone you seen you knew can look at you with pure evil in their eyes. You don’t unsee horrors not matter the therapy
I'm a man commenting on my wife's account. 12 years ago I survived being poisoned by my ex. She was never formally diagnosed but I firmly believe she was a psychopath. She wasn't angry at me. I just had become inconvenient to her. I didn't see it coming because I was ignorant of personality disorders at the time but there were plenty of red flags I ignored.
Why would you comment using her account?
And why do you still have access to it?
What were the red flags?
@@theophrastusbombastus1359he’s talking about his ex.
@@theophrastusbombastus1359I don’t think it’s the same woman, probably his current partners account!
@@theophrastusbombastus1359you muppet!! That his wife
The way this lad articulates himself he should be doing documentaries or something. Keep on going Rob mate :-)
Thanks Ted. You speak for all men.
Violence against men, not just women, in a relationship is unfortunately more common than people think. This video and other media like it are so important in bringing awareness that not only can it happen but there can be grave intent and consequences if ignored, downplayed or underestimated.
My heart goes out to Rob Parkes and his daughter as they bravely endeavour to live beyond survivorship. 💟
I'm not sure why the stigma is against men.
The most physically volatile relationships are lesbian relationships by far
You're a courageous man to publicly tell your tale, I hope this will give others the strength to get out of a bad relationship which is probably your motive for telling your tale.
this one hit me, espcially the beginning ... in my final year I got into a relationship which turned toxic, abusive. Very intense like what Rob had said and kind of addictive, and later it was getting more difficult to leave her side or see other people. Thankfully I got out of that ... but watching this interview helps me see how awful things could have gotten if I had continued
I think this is the same dude (and woman) from a 2-part 24 Hours In Police Custody. It’s called “The Black Widow”. She is genuinely chilling, so manipulative, I’d be so concerned for anyone who comes into contact with her in the future, I hope she is heavily supervised once released. I 100% recommend watching it. Wishing you the best for the future Rob, and your daughter.
Thanks, I'll check that out on Britbox. Looks like it's season 9, episodes 5 and 6.
This man is a gem. His in-depth understanding, not hatred, of the men she manipulated into potentially murdering him, is an honour to his character and intellect. He is a compassionate gentleman!
The awful thing happened to me but it was the opposite and my male narcissist ex did everything to kill me. I am still alive and the kids are away. I thank this man for his openness.
This is where men often do not get the support they need. It's very common for men to just keep quiet because admitting to being abused by a woman is seen as weak by many people.
Social experiments have been done on this in public, where an actor would pretend to be the victim and the other the abuser. When its a man being shouted at, kicked and slapped by a Woman. Alot of bystanders just look and laugh and do nothing. But when its a woman being abused in exactly the same way, people instantly rush in to intervene.
There is a massive gulf when it comes to peoples perceptions of abuse. Men CAN and DO get abused! And I'd love to see a society where this is taken alot more seriously.
I left my second marriage as it was just getting more and more abusive. When a woman leaves an abusive husband she's lauded. When a man leaves an abusive woman, he's abandoned her. This was my experience. My case was control and coercion. Her family members still give me abuse when I see them in town.
@@brushhead That really sucks man. 😥
Sorry to hear you've had a rough deal. Try your best to ignore them at all costs. They really don't seem worth any of your time. Best of luck man.
The problem isn't even just being seen as weak, it's people not believing you.
Very well put. It's absurd when we think about it, as if men have no feelings and can just shrug off abuse as if it doesn't affect them.
As a man, I keep could my calm during my marriage from hell, but I was crying and screaming inside. I thank god that I am now divorced and live in peace. Thanks for telling it like it is. Stay safe Andy.
Yes, and it is horrible! The father of my kids' friend was abused by his wife and although they separated she controlled him by threatening to take away the child in which she was not interested!
Raising awareness and giving help regardless of gender is so very much needed!
This is actually so heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing your story.
I wish more men would speak out about domestic abuse. The media and some politicians want this issue to be brushed under the carpet. But most statistics show that men account for almost half of domestic abuse victims, but most feel afraid to speak out.
What statistics show that men account for almost half of DA victims? What I see it says 1/7 men will be abused in their lifetime and 1/4 women and those numbers don’t add up with what you’re saying.
@@pri.sci.lla.I suggest you dig a bit deeper. Because just looking at one study will not be sufficient to determine anything.
@@pri.sci.lla. Still, he makes a valid point. For example, 'believe all women' should not be a thing. It can't be unless one is ignoring the fact that women can also be abusive and manipulative (A.H. comes to mind... turns out it was her abusing him). All abuse is bad, yet we only hear about female victims, and only very rarely about males (partly because they tend to keep it to themselves, tbf. Or they just off themselves...).
@@BPchadlite🤣🤣🤣
Man here! I am a survivor of domestic abuse that has devastated my life. My ex-wife destroyed me financially, destroyed my relationship with all my friends because she was secretly telling them that I was abusive. I can get over the financial loss and the loss of my friends, but I can’t get over the loss of my son because of her allegations of abuse that were totally unsubstantiated. She devastated my life for financial gain. Life could have been so much better for use as a family if her greed hadn’t of clouded her judgement. Stay strong fellas.
i’m so sorry to hear that i hope you are able to heal and see your son again, best of luck
Great that this story has been shared. It is clearly on the more extreme end of the scale but there are so many aspects that ring true for a lot of abusive relationships. Slowly but surely trying to isolate someone from family and friends is a big one and you have to be very stubborn to resist that. It is easy for an abusive person to convince someone that they spend too much time with friends. So the victim will try and 'correct' the behaviour and soon enough falls out of touch with those people.
At that point they assume you are too loved up to socialise and you assume they won't want to hear from you. All the while the reality is hidden.
My husband has 2 daughters from his first marriage. They validated his claims of abuse when they said"remember when mom hit you with her gun bc she couldn't find the bullets to shoot you?!?" And then they cackled. The hurt, shame and fear that crossed his face?that's when I stopped caring for them.
They are children? Get a grip
@@Man-Made-of-wood adult offspring. Eat dirt
@@Man-Made-of-wood no time like the present for ANYbody to learn some manners n compassion. When you've had the same experience, then you can advise , until then, step off.
@@Man-Made-of-woodeven if they’re children you don’t make fun of your father’s abuse this is why men rarely inform anyone else about their abuse because of statements like yours
You sure that's when and not earlier?
I had the same kind of relationship with a girl, it lasted only 2 years, but looking back it was horrifying how changed my life and her attitude step by step. Always just a little day by day so I thought everything is normal.
I remember two big turning points in my situation: first was when she questioned that is it neccessary to visit my mom on mother's day. (the day before that was ok to visit her mom)
The second was that my friends told me in recent months we don't see each other very often, and I'm so weird, not the same as before.
I see so much relationships around me like this, so the most important: in a healthy relationship your partner can't ask you to turn your back to your friends/family/hobby, if these don't affect your life negatively.
Rob explained SO well what I went through for 14 years to my ex husband. The abuse starts out so slow, and it's so insidious....it's hard to explain to another person...but he did a fabulous job.
Rob, I'm so sorry for what you've been through but it needs to be known that in this type of abuse , there is no respecter of persons, race, male or female, rich or poor, it doesn't matter 😢 Everyone/Anyone is a possible target.
Just a well articulated response, all the best in the future rob. Hope all's well with you and your daughter
Only by the look of this guy you can tell he is an angel and met the wrong partner :(
There is no such thing as the right partners, women will do what women do. Especially with a person like him
This makes me sad. I was in a mentally and physically abusive relationship for almost 5 years. I have never wanted to have a serious relationship again. It was based on the chemistry between us and very much an addiction. I will never let it happen again.
I've known dudes who have been abused. They're the caring, empathetic, and most loving.
The person who is right for you will make you feel supported, not crushed.
They brighten your light, not dim it.
The Statistic of this kind of psychotic behavior surely is skyrocketing compared to 1999
This guy must be a very strong person and respect to him for sharing his story. Hopefully the whole ordeal has not impacted his daughter too much.
It’s a shame you didn’t ask him what he thought about when his ex-wife gets released from prison.
Planning to kill someone rather than just ending the relationship seems crazy.
The relationship between the couple was over, the murder attempt was by the latest partner of the ex-wife, who had tried to get earlier partners to kill off her first ex-husband.
A good lesson for those in relationships, if it doesn't feel good, it ain't good, leave!
Nobody ever thinks about talking men abused by a female partner! I am really glad you made this very helpful video!
Such a powerful story, and shared so eloquently.
It's very telling that things got worse once the child was born because now all his attention was on his child instead of on her. Any normal person would also put all their attention on their child, only a narc would be offended that they weren't the centre of attention anymore. but it also means that you're more firmly stuck together because of the child you have together.
I was in a narcissistic relationship. Forever trapped with accusations of cheating and this and that. Turns out my ex was the one doing it all and portraying that guilt onto me. I can think of 3 occasions where I thought hang on!? Love prevailed and didn't want to believe it. Thank you for telling your story mate, you don't realise the psychological abuse men go through because you are engrained to think domestic abuse is only man on woman. 👏
So sorry this happened to him and his family. I think it's a brave and amazing thing that men are able to open up with their own stories of abuse. Not to mention recognizing that women are just as capable of domestic abuse as well. Thank goodness her plan failed and that he and his family are doing well.
Amen brother…. I’m going through something similar now… currently been charged after she made allegations that I tried to kill her… have a crown court trial set for the end of next year. I’m the criminal here. The police won’t listen to me that actually the abuse she claims against her was actually towards me. Guilty until proven innocent.
He ran off with her best friend. Obviously, not a justification for murdering someone but he doesn't sound like a gem at all.
Thank you for sharing your story, Rob. It's cathartic, it's helpful, so clearly explained what this can look like. I'm so sorry you've experienced something like this.
5 minutes in and this sounds so much like my brother and his wife. Thankfully she hasn’t tried to kill him, but he’s definitely been “taken away” from his family.
Rescue him.
Thankyou Rob for speaking about this. My own experience was of emotional abuse, but I see parallels with your story. That video meant a lot.
Thanks for the video. Abuse knows no gender.
It does, there are 2
@@Afed390there are indeed 2
Than you for being brave enough to share your story. x
He seems like such a sweet man I feel so bad for him
Knowing me........if a woman started abusing me, especially physically....I would move on. If for any reason I couldn't or she wouldn't leave me alone I know that only one of us wasn't going to walk out of that situation....and it wouldn't be her.
I don’t know if I’m in an abusive relationship. It’s not physically abusive. But I can’t go anywhere or do anything. He follows me and tracks me. If I’m 5 mins late from work he phones or goes out in his car looking for me.
It might not be one yet but I can assure you that’s not normal. A relationship is about trust. Talk about it with your partner and if it won’t change leave. My grandpa was highly controlling and eventually abusive. Whenever the abuser starts feeling like they can’t track you and control you they will find a way to feel in control of you (aka emotional/physical abuse).Sending you lots of love!! Please don’t stay if you see the red flags
I do this as well.
You are.
This is highly abusive and controlling, lacks trust and full of insecurities that could hurt you. Get out safely soon.
Yes you are and I’m sorry to tell you that it only gets worse, not better.
Well done to Rob for speaking out! Men need to be believed and encouraged to speak out. And to know NOT to put up with it, that it isn't weak to leave.
After having been through this type of relationship with this type of woman, its made me fear relationships far more than desire them. There is an automatic concern that the next partner will be more adversary than friend. And that I will have to defend myself from someone who is supposed to love me; to be on my team. I have endless compassion for anyone who has been thru this. And while then gender is ultimately unimportant, the dynamic is far less recognized for men. May you all be happy, at peace and liberated from all suffering, trauma and anything less than the full and complete truth.
With murder, it's over quickly. With marriage, it sorta just oozes out.
What a strong guy, wishing you nothing but happiness and success in the future rob.
It's nice to see a video like this. Men can be victims of domestic abuse but it tends to be greatly ignored.
A big red FLAG to pay attention to when you first meet someone is to watch how intense it is especially if it's moving really fast. That's not LOVE. It's real easy to make excuses for it. But don't. It's not LOVE. If they get upset because you want time to yourself or you want to go out with a friend or you want to go on a holiday by yourself, that's NOT Love. You can and will meet someone better for you. What he experienced in the beginning is LOVE BOMBING. Abuse wasn't his fault, that lies with the abusive person.
Thank you for sharing your story. You have supported and helped many others.
Anyone whos going through something traumatic, remember it will get better! The way alot of the people on this channel talk, you can tell they spent time unpacking these emotions with a professional. It takes time and alot of support to get to this point.
Thank you for being willing to share this with the world, I’m hopeful someone will see this and decide to leave their abusive relationship ❤
My narcissistic mother did something similar to me. She spoke ill of me, told stories which she exaggerated about me to get people to hate me. She turned my family against me, my exes, random people that never met me. I've been threatened all over for a year plus now. I am in the shelter system. I don't know if it's a danger or safety sometimes. All I can do is pray to God and tell my story wherever I can. While they spread hatred, I'm telling Truths. It is yet to be seen if I will make it, but I won't ever stop doing what I can to escape what these people have done. By myself. I can't speak to people much because this situation has effected me but I fight and I retain myself. I will attain my freedom, peace, and independence again. These stories are empowering, sombering, and inspiring. There ARE narcissistic abusers and there ARE survivors.
God told me that there is evidence. So God forbid anything were to happen to me, something will surely come for them. They all have to be stopped of all the filth they're all putting out into the world. However that may come to pass.
I dont know who you are, you seem extremely strong mentally and emotionally. Stay up and blessed. I will pray for you
Props to telling this story in 15 min and not stretching it into a 5 part miniseries on Netflix.
This guy is inspiring and a role model for survivor and he has a book of his account. The sentence is too short.
This is so important to raise. Domestic violence against men by women is a taboo subject sadly. This story is absolutely horrific. I'm glad this chap has moved on with his life and I'd like to thank him for sharing his experience, I hope more men feel able to talk about this and report it to Police.
Sadly, the police find it amusing and you are not believed.
Men, you deserve better, too ❤ Please know that you are worthy of love, attention, safety, adoration, you are worth being heard, seen, and accepted.
We all are worthy and deserving of this, don't forget it!
Very smart well-spoken man. Bless his heart
Well done telling your truthful story, Rob, good work mate, I wish you and your daughter the best for the future.
This broke my heart 💔 as someone who was abused by my children a dad and has finally healed and welcomed a healthy connection into my life, I feel so angry that women can get away with such things. I am so sorry you suffered yet so proud you told your story 😢❤
Your children abused you? How?
Thank you for being brave enough to share your story
My story is not nearly as severe as his and doesn't belong on the tube. But it's a classic example of what he is talking about here. These types of relationships often develop way too fast, they seem way too interested, there's love bombing and things often seem "too perfect", and too good to be true. A lot of people with cluster b personality disorders always need to be in control. Especially narcissists.
A Gentleman and a scholar, obviously deserves so much better
Very courageous Rob, you're far from being alone. They never let up.
Jeeeeezzzz I am so glad you’re still here man.
Incredible will power to keep pushing on. Big respect
Thank you for highlighting this. Many men suffer in silence like this. I did this for 25 years please understand that women abuse men. Not easy for men to talk about it in a culture where they are seen as the problem. Maybe a time for both genders to come together as equal and honest rather than demonize each other. x
The perfect mix between a comedy movie actor and some member of the royal family
I’m so glad that this lovely man and his daughter are living the life they now deserve, away from the horror that it could have been.
How did they get the recording of Victoria and the dealer? That is the most important evidence of her being caught, and yet, we get no explanation? WHO recorded the conversation? And how did it end up in the polices hands?
24hrs in police custdy do a 2parter on this. Her current fella at the time thought she was cheating so he left a phone recording to catch her and recorded her with the dealer,crazy story
I’m so obsessed with these stories this channel puts out.
That bit about him and his daughter at the end,I’m glad he got something of true value outta that toxic relationship,a child he can love and connect with,it’s the silver lining to this particular story hopefully…
Very good description of how this all unfolded.
She got nine and a half year for it. If this was the other way around its 20 years plus
Thank you for sharing your story as a survivor of domestic abuse. Wishing you peace.
Wow, I wish him and his daughter the best. I hope his ex never gets to see her daughter again. I can imagine she would try to poison their daughter against him.
Thank you for sharing a story of men. Men have been victims as well, and that needs to be understood. Thanks for the great channel, I will be sure to share!
Where have I seen this guy before? Was this story on 24 Hours in Police Custody a few years back? 🤔
Two parter
Yes, a two partner called The Black Widow
1 and a half years here with an abusive partner. Same thing here, she took me away from my friends completely, and only wanted to spend time together. we’ve thankfully been split up one and a half years now, but as dumb as it sounds it took me months to get back into a social routine again, it was like mentally I had been conditioned to not be sociable anymore
Am I missing something here? What is the connection between the tins of baby milk and him being hit on the head with a brick? It is mentioned twice.
The tins of baby milk had £18,000 in cash in them to pay someone to kill Rob.
Respect for sharing dude. Very interesting and something young lads should learn more about.