The First Guy To Ever Be A Sports Mascot
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Second
Okay
Cool
Ok Ryan
w
When he mentioned the words "little child" and "terrifying" in close succession, my heart stopped in fear of the CGI Baby
I must have Stockholm syndrome because I kinda miss the little guy…
"BLOOD."
Me too, I was terrified then so relieved
I assume that kid is still in a room. He freaking ate an entire person like it was a rotisserie chicken or something. That's pretty crazy, right? When they found him, he was eating a leg. Like straight up chomping on a leg.
Me too, I was petrified for a moment but then I remembered the baby Ryan is arrested for cannibalism
"Where are your parents?"
"Woodchipper"
Bloodthirsty child is back.
Actually that’s his descendant.
Oh, that's what he meant. I thought his parents chipped wood :)
Which video is he from?
He just has a new form lol
So many questions 🤣
“Maybe we should stick to the soft projectiles”
This comes from the same guy who moments earlier wanted to use tasers. Lol
Well... I think I'd rather get tased than hit in the head with a mug shot from a cannon
Today's soft generation can't handle getting ashtrays fired at them at high speeds like back in the good Ole days.. 😂
@@123duker Lmfao
He just wants to protect the merchandise.
Well tasers aren't sharp, so....
From now on I'll say "wood chipper" whenever someone asks about my parents. Thanks Ryan "Ryan George" George. :)
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
Yippee like the only person who even mentioned this moment.
That wood chipper response cought me off guard and I just sorta stared at my screen lol.
Oh, wood chippers are tight!
So tell me about your parent what are they like?
@@Art-X-Wwoodchipper
The guy at the beginning has a point, the word "spicy" is WAY too subjective. Someone gives you food and says it's spicy and you have no idea what it'll be like.
yeah i have this argument with my husband constantly, he keeps telling me food's not spicy and i eat it and it definitely tastes spicy to me but he just flat-out doesn't believe me.
Expecting some capsaicin and ending up with nutmeg and cinnamon is certainly confusing.
Yeah. I am very sensitive to spicy foods. Some of my family members could probably eat an entire Jalapeño no problem. It’s at the point that I don’t even like Chipotle- the only things from chipotle that I don’t remember as spicy are the sour cream, the lettuce, and the drinks.
I now say what spicy is based on culture and geographical location. Indian Food/Korean/Thai spicy is Actual spicy. Only for those who like spice. White pl spicy is thinking anything with jalapenos is hot. Midwest spicy is ranch with black pepper in it.
Than there is spicy mustard which is it's own type of spicy and either doesn't exist to my vast disappointment or is so powerful I can't taste anything else for a few seconds cuz I put too much on.
I think many indian restaurants for example have a scale to give you some context.
I’m surprised the mascot guy makes the rules. The other guy has a WAAY fiercer moustache
he needs you to get all the way off his back
and he knows it's pronounced sports, not spurts
It is pretty fierce...
@@Odin2244 He probably wouldn't even read your obituary, stop lying.
@@justinblakeney3466 Holy crap you ripped that guy apart.
"When there's silence I'm left alone with my thoughts, and I don't LIKE them." Yeah okay Ryan.. same
This might explain the popularity of social media, Ryan and not sleeping because we're on our phones all night.
Ok imagining a full stadium where nobody is moving or saying anything, but just staring forward, sound terrifying. Like that would be one of the most scary situations I could imagine!
And they're all wearing the same face
sounds like school assembly in the gym when the principal is talking!
@schiggy2319 haha thanks sometimes those were scary, too!
It's called the Etihad stadium mate
You a cleveland fan?
First guy to ever pitch a movie. Make the most legendary crossover a reality.
Ryan already made that though
The only thing that we would know about the movie is that the hero snapped the bad guys neck and saved the day
This idea is somehow genius
Think he already did it
@@hoaithunguyen4473 yeah but that was a pitch meeting for pitch meeting. This would be the first guy to make a pitch for any movie.
I love that “Cheerleaders and Cheerleading” is just an afterthought. 😂😂😂
Hi Jordan Peterson Lecture man
JBP man watches Ryan George? cool.
Well when you can punch a sweaty over weight guy dressed as an animal in the balls then yes, cheerleaders come second, unless you're some sort of pervert
I know I've seen you on a different comment section
Mascot Guy just wants to see pretty girls in animal costumes.
Oh, he didn't mention animal costumes?
He was gonna. He has 12 more suits just incidentally handy right here.
"I'm a cow now"
"Why did you have that ready to go?"
"No reason"
🤣🤣🤣
Lollol
-"Why would dancing be okay, but not talking?"
-"Look, I don't make the rules."
-You literally do. This has never been done before."
I love this guy. Lol 😂🤣
When I heard "let's talk to an actual child" I actually out loud said "oh no" because I was expecting the baby ryan with the nightmare face to come out
Why "Oh no"? I eagerly await the return of our Dark Master
@@rimothytimothy1398 There are two types of people
Did you miss, "wood chipper"?
I said "Oh yes!" and was disappointed, then the wood chipper dropped.
@@briant7265 I meant more the face. Lol
"What about tazers? They'd make noise."
"Yeah, but not the good kind."
I'm glad they went with mascots instead. Whew! Near miss.
I mean, it'd be entertaining for everyone else nearby.
I wonder how the world would look like if cops had decided for the costume option instead.
I, I don't know, tazing people sounds really good, almost soothing,
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm tasers...
Remember the multiverse skit? Somewhere in another dimention identical sports fans are getting tazed right now.
Thank God, that the little child wasn't Ryan's son.
Was so expecting that.
And was terrified.
Ryan you should do “first guy to use negative numbers”. You would have a field day with that one😂
Oh that would make for a beautiful sketch~
Ryan 1: Hey, Hi there, Hello.
Ryan 2: Uh, hi?
Ryan 1: So you know math?
Ryan 2: You mean the thing we're taught in school with the numbers to add and subtract?
Ryan 1: Yeah, that's the one.
Ryan 2: No that's A number. There's more than that.
Ryan 1: I know that! But listen, that's not what I wanted to talk about. You know how there's more than ten?
Ryan 2: Absolutely, we even made it all the way to hundreds, thousands, millions, billions, zillions, gazillions... trillions...
Ryan 1: I'm pretty sure you just made some of those up, but listen, I was thinking about numbers that could less than that.
Ryan 2: Well there's plenty of those! Literally gazillions of them.
Ryan 1: Pretty sure gazillions aren't a thing. Anyway, I mean less than ten.
Ryan 2: What, you mean like 9? or 8? 7? 6? 5? 4? 3? 2? 1? Or 0?
Ryan 1: .....
Ryan 2: What?
Ryan 1: What was that?
Ryan 2; What was what?
Ryan 1: The thing you just did. The counting down thing, like this was the start of a new year or something.
Ryan 2: I'm sorry, I was thinking about a space movie.
Ryan 1: Right.... Anyway, I was thinking about how there could be numbers less than 1.
Ryan 2: There is! It's called zero, didn't they teach you that in school?
Ryan 1: What? Yes, I know that. I meant numbers less than zero!
Ryan 2: But there are no numbers less than zero.
Ryan 1: But what if there was?
Ryan 2: I don't see how there could be.
Ryan 1: Well, that's why we would make them, I decided.
Ryan 2: And what purpose would they serve?
Ryan 1: To teach people about positive and negative numbers!
Ryan 2: What do optimism and pessimism have to do with this?
Ryan 1: They don't! I was just trying to think of other methods of math. I also have ideas about putting letters in there.
Ryan 2: From the alphabet? But those aren't numbers!
Ryan 1: But we're teaching people to use 'em for math anyway, I decided.
@@DarkS1ayer100 Dude this is insane you need to be hired by Disney as a writer
@@DynastieArtistique After the week I’ve had, thank you for that! First time anyone’s ever said that to me. I do a lot of writing (occasionally freelance writing) so it’s nice that some of my random responses to videos like this get such supportive responses.
@@DarkS1ayer100 Of course man, keep pursuing whatever you're pursuing
“Nobody wants to hear what the dancing cow has to say, they just want to see him dance” sounds like a metaphor for anything and everything
Oh crap
Maybe for us?
My first instinct was to write it really big and put it on my fridge, yes. Fully agree.
All of the time
@@axemeanything1599 All of the time, what?
"I would like if the noise didn't stop"
Me: ugh that sounds awful
"When there's silence, I'm left alone with my thoughts, and I don't like them. "
Me: Actually, fair point.
I don't feel liking
So I comment.
Think I might need a mascot too. Or would having one in my room 24/7 be weird?
When there's silence...
🎶 Hello darkness my old friend 🎶
... I feel called out 😅
I felt that was a very meta comment.
All Ryan's videos are him verbalizing thoughts to himself.
“So listen, now that I’m a big animal, this will solve everything” is my new favorite line😂😂😂
Been letting Ryan's videos play while I sleep. His voice relaxes me, and I find that hearing something funny as I go to bed/wake up improves my mood a lot. :)
Same
just don't fall asleep watching the "May Day: Air Disaster" channel or you probably won't want to fly ever again LMAO. (interesting episodes tho)
"Where are your parents, little guy?"
"Wood chipper"
"That sounds disturbing. Hey, can someone get this child a comforting bowl of soup?"
Amazingly, cannibal child Ryan is no longer so disturbing.
I, too, watched the video.
sanity -100 my brain hurts thinking about this what does he mean
I was completely caught off guard with that lol.
Ryan George: "look, I don't make the rules"
Ryan George: "You literally do, this has never been done before"
every character in every Ryan George video "he has a point and I don't like it"
@@Odin2244 AYOOOOO thats so cool congrats dude!
@@mattexists133 You do realize that's a bot, right? Ryan George didn't actually comment on their video.
@@KingNedya the thought crossed my mind but they seemed sweet and excited enough that I didn't think it would be worth dismissing it entirely when it only took like a minute to type that
I don't make the rules, I have decided!
@@mattexists133 A minute? That seems like an awfully long time for just that one short sentence. But anyway, you can tell it's a bot because that exact same comment can be found all over TH-cam. You can also tell it's a bot because they tend to do that weird thing with the weird font and font size, as well as using typically unrelated emojis.
You have somehow managed to make the perfect balance of formulaic plot and fresh ideas for your sketches.
Each episode, I know exactly what to expect and yet am always pleasantly supprised by your jokes.
Its fantastic, keep up the great work.
"And I also wanna punch him in the balls" and "Where are your parents?..WOODCHIPER" Are the absolute best lines
I feel more than targeted by the spices comment… my partner can eat EVERY spice every, and if I have mild spice that has slightly more than mild spice I have heartburn for two days.
I’m too white to eat that much spiciness, feels bad.
Bruh
Also first furry
Same, but with my family
This is the vibe
Omg OT! I never expected to hear the words of the lord from your mout- uhh, keyboard.
What about: the first guy to open an amusement park
“So I’m gonna put people in this moving machine and then they just start screaming”
“What”
We're gonna need a bunch of very expensive machines to make them scream. But I want them to spend most of their time standing and waiting for the screaming machines. Hours.
Benches? Why? I want them s t a n d i n g.
Also, I figure $20 for a hot dog is about right.
@@brucebaker810 lol this is great
“And there’s gonna be ALL SORTS of rides at this place that is amusing. Some spiny ones that make you wanna throw up…”
“Why would someone ride that?”
“Some really tall and scary ones that make some people PASS OUT.”
“What? Why would people want to pass out? That doesn’t sound like fun.”
“Oh, believe me, all sorts of people will come to ride these crazy rides. But there’s not just rides.”
“No?”
“No! I’m gonna have little games for people to play all around the park for when they’re tired of riding rides.”
“This sounds like a great idea! Why would they play these games though?”
Well, I’m gonna have some prizes at the games that they can win, but they’re not gonna win.”*smile*
“What? Why not?”
“Well I’m just gonna make the games super difficult so nobody wins and everybody get super mad!”
“Oh my gosh”
@@heyiplaydrums6821 "Knock over all the milk bottles? Well that looks super easy. Barely an inconvenience,"
-- "Actually..."
@@heyiplaydrums6821 that’s perfect
Ryan: "No more breaks during the game, if theres a penalty they just keep going"
Ryan 2: "Yeah but then the players might die from exhaustion"
AFL: "AM I A JOKE TO YOU?"
*First guy to play AFL*
"So you've got a new sport for me?"
"YES SIR I DO"
"Why would I talk??"
"Why WOULDN'T you talk??"
I lost my shit at this
"Where are your parents little guy?"
"Woodchipper"
That went from 0 to 100 real quick
Oh, little kid serial killers are tight!
.....where.......where exactly is the child tight? 😅😅 (Yes, I know the joke, but had to make it creepy)
We need to have a special on that child. The first child to slaughter his parents...
Every time he brings up a child I get nervous, and every time it's not his son I breathe a sigh of relief
Blood ?
BLOOD
@@HandledToaster2 that's my little boy !
BLOOD!
Maybe that's what he was planning on you feeling
As someone who has had to wear a mascot costume before, The covering of the mascot eyes when a kid does something funny is very accurate
3:10 Well, it worked for the 5 Missing Children.
💀
Yoooooooo hi
Who else immediately feels better when they see Ryan has uploaded?
Definitely me haha
I do as well
Me
@@stevescollectibles3460 Yeah me to☺️☺️☺️
Yes.
I've just imagined a stadium full of Ryan's acting the way these 2 described, lifeless and creepily quiet.... It's frightening
“I could dress as an animal”
Are we sure that Ryan isn’t secretly James from TheOdd1sOut?
“Nobody wants to hear what the dancing cow has to say, they just wanna see him dance”
Sounds like an incredibly deep meta analysis on today’s society
There’s some lyric like that in the song hey ya
Musicians, Athletes, models, honestly politicians are down to like single sentences that we either agree or disagree with
Im14andthisisdeep
@@Odin2244 amogus
HEY YA!!! HEY YA!!
"We can also get women to dance in scantily dressed costumes."
"That sounds hard."
"Actually, Super easy, barely an inconvenience."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. We groom them in schools."
"I think I need to call CPS."
"No, the schools would definitely go along with it and the leader of the group would be the most popular girl in school."
And this will actually be considered a sport too, I've decided.
they'll even enjoy being thrown in the air!
My cousin actually got a sports scholarship for being a male cheerleader. It was something about they were required to have at least one male cheerleader to create diversity or something.
Wow wow wow....Wow!
Scantily clad women are TIGHT.
“I think people would enjoy getting shot at”-Ryan George, 2021 (update: omg I did not expect this many likes)
Basically America xD
😂😂😂
I showed this, including the ad, to my dad who's a huge sports fan. He loved it.
"they don't want the dancing cow to talk they just want him to dance" honestly if I saw a cow busting a move I would prefer him to dance than talk
What does the cow say?
@@favoritemustard3542 who cares
Then or than?
@@pablocastaner1933 what?
@@wingnightbackwards There's a major difference between "I'd prefer him to dance than talk" and "I'd prefer him to dance, THEN talk".
"Nobody wants to hear what the dancing cow has to say, they just want to see him dance." Sounds like a deep metaphor, that from now on I will use in any situation I decided.
I think it's a commentary on a certain spreadable cheese.
Cow is female but 'they just want to see HIM dance' is an extra layer of depth.
"Watch the cows waltz, but do not listen".
@@IndigoIndustrial Pretty sure cow is unisex, hefa is a female cow.
Kinda like chicken to hens and roosters.
@@ShoulderMonster you know what they say, Nobody wants to hear the cow, they just want to se him dance.
@@ShoulderMonster "Cow" is female but it can in general use refer to cattle.
I've binge watched far too much Ryan George this week and now I'm starting to adopt his vocabulary and mannerisms, WHOOPSIE!
That’s fine I’ve decided.
This doesn’t apply to British sports, we just carry on shouting
Edit: Lmao wasn’t expecting this many likes, cheers
true and beating up people for liking a different team even tho it makes no sense.
@@Jebu911 then flip cars and start fires/fist fights :)
Usually alcohol fuelled.
@@policewitness5181 Yeah let's keep pretending there is no cocaine involved.
The fuckin "woodchipper" absolutely destroyed me, that took an immediate turn I was not expecting.
Yeah what's that about again? I didn't get it
Edit: quick google, woodchippers are those machines who turns solid wood into... very very tiny pieces of wood. Oh.. oh..
@@Exsulator2 I still don't get it
@@Sams-xi7xf Apparently, his parents are in that.
@@KanashiAtisuto Oh Ok thanks
@@KanashiAtisuto (O.o) I see what you did there
When the conversation went into asking a child’s opinion, I was bracing myself to see the abomination that Ryan’s son is... from the first guy to ever celebrate Christmas
He got sent to prison for murder and eating people
Absolutely. disappointed
The one with the one teeth and huge eyes? It made me nightmares
I think he creeped himself out along with his fans and decided to discontinue that character.
@@matthewmitchell3457 I love that character in small doses ):
That “No reason” @1:30 is fucking GOLD!!! The innocence this man gets in his voice sometimes is perfect🤣🤣🤣
I so love the lines, "Why did you just happen to have that costume available?" &
"You were just looking for ANY excuse to put that on, weren't you?"
Spot on delivery.
"Oh, he spoke. That's not a real cow."
His perception level is over 9000! 🤣
how have you not left 2011
R/comedyhomicide
That was the funniest part for me.😂
I love when he does that, makes a joke about a joke he just did earlier.
@@elianderson4990 That "over 9,000" quote has been around since the 90s and in a way is timeless and only mildly died down around 2013. I don't know where you're getting 2011 from. I'll assume it's because you're young, but just old enough to think you know your internet trends history.
And hey, there's nothing wrong with being stuck in the past. I'm still stuck in the early 90s. Trust me, it's better here.
the child know that because they have decided that real cow make the "moo" sound in another sketch.
At the mention af a child I was anxious of the "Demon Ryan Child" making an appearance
Same here
dont bring it back.
How did I just stumble across this now? ... As a retired animal that used to run around, you nailed it. ... ... I also wore a cup from 2006-2019, for the exactly that reason. Well done 👍.
If it hasn’t already been done, I’m declaring Ryan George to be an official national treasure 😊
“Oh he can talk. That’s not a real cow. “ I died. Lol
“I’m not changing the subject, I’m offering a solution” That was when the laughing started and never stopped...........
"I'm not changing the subject, I'm offering you a solution.
can't even quote the thing that made you "never stop laughing" smh
it's a 5 minute video but you can't be bothered to be accurate
@@3ffinawesome459 You don’t have to be like that. I must have made a mistake typing or autocorrect or something, anyone who looks at that knows it doesn’t make sense... I’m not completely stupid you know
Wait what did he do that’s incorrect
@@gamingpanda7516 I’ve already corrected it. I miss typed the quote by a mistake.
"Wood chipper"
"I dont know what he meant by that"
😂😂😂
*_"Where are your parents?"_*
*_"Woodchipper"_*
I see the Kings bloodthirsty son has procreated..
That’s what happens when you let your kids watch Fargo
"Although I imagine a couple of them would be into it." LMAO.
why is no one else commenting about this xD
"Where are your parents little guy?"
"Woodchipper.."
... that is terrifyingly unspecific
I got my Ryan George poster, and it's super awesome!!
I expect mine in a few days. 😊
@Grandson Of Cherve nope. It was super easy, barely an inconvenience 😊
_first toxic fan ever flashbacks_
The word "Spicy" is as subjective as Ryan's way to represent a child.
"What will it be today? A miniature Ryan, or a demon spawn from hell?"
Why not both?
Thank you, Mascot person. Mascot playing around is the only thing I enjoy watching during sports games.
Lol
I like when there's a streaker and everyone laughs
@@thomasgatley624 Ok, now we must have "first guy ever to streak" from Ryan.
A deeply sad person
ur everywhere
Break in a game: happens
People: you know what we need? A furry.
Then make everyone furries and you got a furcon
years later, even after watching this 10+ times, "woodchipper" never fails to make me audibly laugh.
"Because no one wants to hear what the Dancing Cow has to say. They just want to see him dance." -- I work with Broadway performers and Ryan just summed up ALLLL entertainment into one Commandment.
I'm waiting for the sequel "the second guy to ever be a mascot"
OMG. My heart needed Ryan in a cow costume! Soooo cute!!!
"When there's silence, I'm left alone with my thoughts and I don't like that."
Might as well dance around and go insane
Considering he lead with tasers as a solution, that statement checks out.
The first guy to be a therapist.
"I don't like being alone with my thoughts. "
"Well, maybe you could have somebody listen to you, while you talk about your thoughts."
Is he saying that to himself, another Ryan, or Ryan to another Ryan that’s really Ryan in his mind cause it can get very meta in the Ryanverse
@@NeoakiraIV Yep and all Ryan's have Ryan's in their ryan heads. Like Inside Out with Ryans.
@@Psusanoo I love that my name is Ryan. Never had a fun name until now :D
1:09 you missed a great line that could have been "that leaves me alone with my thoughts and I don't like that because they tell me to tase people"
but he prefers the taser
Launching an Ashtray from a T-shirt canon sounds like a weapon from Fallout 4
Make “The First Guy to Ever Milk a Cow”.
“Hey what’s up?”
“Oh, I’m squeezing white liquid from a cow so I can drink it!”
That would be when he makes stuff for adult swim
feel like that's just gonna invite a lot of angry vegans into the comments yelling at everyone about how dairy is animal abuse.
Have you tried it with a bull yet?
It was probably something like, "I'm super hungry and that baby animal looks like it's drinking that white stuff, I wonder if it's edible"
@@dietotaku well, dairy is abuse after all
“Are you not entertained!?”
“Not really, no”
> Why did you have that ready to go?
> No reasons!
> *You were just waiting for any excuse to put that on, weren't you?*
Thank you Ryan for not jamming ads in between the video and for that alone I let the video play the ads once it’s done.
I dont know man, I don't make the rules"
"You literally do, no one has ever done this before"
Lol
"We can't remove all breaks and timeouts because that's when commercials play, and well money..."
"Oh I do like money"
Oohhh money is tight!
@@starastro4591 sure it is!
Yea, yea, yeah
Dude gets me every time with the little kid, I love it!
Awwww, he looks so cute in the cow costume!
3:20 I love this entire kid part. Had me rolling.
"Let's check this with a child"
child appears from nowhere
"Where are your parents little guy?"
"Woodchipper"
"Nobody wants to hear what the dancing cow has to say, they just want to see him dance"
-Joker, 2019
3:23 U'O, ya heads gone!
"When there's silence, I'm left alone with my thoughts and I don't like them."
Fucking mood....
"Mascots were invented when the first furry met the first coach."
-Mark Twain.
Underrated
oh, so they were like, the babies of those two?
Thought it was Abraham Lincoln who said that
@@stevenstygles255 I thought Sun Tzu said it
When Ryan mentioned dressing up as an animal I was sure Other-Ryan was gonna say something along the lines that referred to him as a furry
Ryan: “Hey child”
Me: 😨
Normal Ryan kid: “Yeah…”
Me: 😮💨
"Wood chipper" kid is normal to you?
By comparison mostly.
@@kayjacoby290 "woodchipper" kid is tight
@@kayjacoby290 what does that mean? Wood chipper?
Thank god it's not the demon kid
"i'm not changing the subject, i'm offering you a solution" pure poetry!
I feel like Ryan had the cow onesie laying around and was waiting for a chance to share it's glory with the world!!!😂🤣😂🤣
As a former “Botarga” I can confirm the punch in the balls 100% true.
1🤜💥💥🤛2
No more 🏀🏈⚾️ 4 u!
Why is that a thing?
@@YesterdaysDeadTodayOnlyExists for the comedy
Kids humour is great
That's why mascots usually have someone walk alongside them to "escort" them. They're actually their bodyguards!
“They all sit there in silence staring”
Ah like every kid in theaters right
The ad, LMAO. Good point.
Him fixing his hair every time is the heart of this sketch😂
*Ryan with a fancy moustache:* "They all just sit there in silence"
*Me having flash backs to chants and songs like* *_"The referee's a wanker!"_* *even during the non foot ball parts.*
Uh-huh. Yeah.
Yeah! I guess he doesn't watch sports much 😂
People during England Vs Italy:
Most popular chants where I come from:
''Referee, we've licked your wife and she was tasty!''
''Referee, we know where your car is parked!''
I think that's more like an american sports thing where ppl need to be entertained during timeouts as there are no timeouts in our football.
@@JSmellerM Just the multitude of stoppages for someone that is hurt. Oh, never mind. He doesn't seem to be hurt at all. Carry on.
The adstronaut is the best and most versatile mascot of all time.
🐮: Don't you wanna yell right now?
🤓: No, I still prefer Taser...
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
i like how they're having a buisness meeting in the middle of a foodball field with kids walking around
“Nobody wants to hear what the dancing cow has to say, they just want to see him dance” truly metaphorical
I'm kinda shocked how few people are talking about the woodchipper.
I honestly didn't get it.
It’s implying his parents are in a woodchipper either from him putting them in there or by some other means. It’s supposed to be ambiguously dark and out-of-nowhere. The fact that we have to guess what the hell he meant is the joke.
Most of the comments now are talking about the wood chipper
“Where are your parents?”
“Wood chipper”
"The First One To Get Grounded" would be a good video :)
Every parent ever: I don't make the rules.
Ryan: You literally do though!
“I’ll be alone with my thoughts, and I don’t want that”