I’m thankful I had a girlfriend that told me what felt good and what triggered her. She taught me a lot in my younger years that helped me through life. I should’ve married that girl!
@@Mr1Tanker actually, I literally did. She didn’t take it well and there actually was a gun involved. She went from heartbroken to pissed off pretty quick.
I've learned a lot from this talk. Thank you to both doctors. It really helps more if people can communicate without the fear of taboo or condemnation, but with honesty and trust.
It's interesting to note that use of the Hitachi wand in this way caused a big stigma for the company, so they eventually cancelled production of them. All that exist are clones now, unless you can find their old vintage model.
It's amazing to me that guys need to be told this stuff...I get off on her getting off even more than myself most of the time. I was lucky enough to be married 23 years to my my late soulmate and we had total open communication with no judgements and total trust to do the right thing and being mindful of each other's feelings and responses.again I was lucky and blessed...these videos are indeed necessary though and it's a great thing you're doing them and taking the awkward away
What planet are you living on? Critiquing a man, what he does and how he does it is not the beginning of a healthy relationship. Good luck with that one...unless you want him to wear skinny jeans and split the bills with you. Perhaps he can stay home with the kids and do laundry/make dinner while you go out and earn more than him. Totally normal, right?
This is way sexual education and communication is so important. I had 3 encounters with older women in my younger days that changed my life from a sexual perspective. I learned to communicate better, to not be afraid to try new things and most importantly to keep my business to myself. Even today when I see them, I give them big old hugs. GREAT SHOW
Thank you so much Dr. Rena for being a good source of education, especially for the young boys out there whose first exposure to sex is through pornography and the terrible expectations it sets for everybody.
@@brucekilby9957 I would say a woman telling the man she's with or about to be "with" sexually what she likes is VERY important. They say that men are like microwave ovens, we heat up quickly. Conversely women are said to be like crockpots or slow cookers. It takes them awhile to heat up. I would say women are like crockpots with combination locks. What drives one woman wild with pleasure will annoy the hell out of another. Example: One woman I was with LOVED direct clitoral stimulation (fingers, tongue etc...)...she couldn't get enough of it. But another woman I was with didn't like "direct clitoral" stimulation, she liked indirect stimulation. So, ladies, giving the guy you're with some information is a good thing not just for you, but for us as well. Not every woman knows how to give a man great oral sex the first time you're with him, you weren't born with this knowledge and guys aren't either with what pleases you. None of this "he should have known" stuff either, that's childish. We are all different. So, tell him.....TELL HIM!!!! Trust me, the guy will do pretty much what every you ask if he knows it will get you off. Oh, and if he doesn't do what you ask, then you'll know you're with the wrong guy....2 birds, one stone. You're welcome.......
There should be some talk about the sexual effort gap, because in more than a few of my relationships (Straight), it feels like all effort comes from me as the man. Effort during foreplay, effort during intercourse, and its lopsided in that regard. Men very often do all the work to get themselves to orgasm during intercourse, and all the work during foreplay for hers. Men are considered selfish if they don't want to, or know to put the work in during foreplay, but its almost fine or completely accepted as normal that many women just show up and lay there.
Good point. When Dr Mintz gave the stat about orgasm gap the statistic has no meaning until you compare the effort gap/work/preparation and attitude gap. I wonder why she does not touch on the very crucial topic of effort. These two female doctors seem to have very little knowledge of or respect for the male perspective and experience. Men are required to put in a lot of effort and men judged by the amount of effort they put into the sex act. Women tend to get a free pass on their lack of effort.
In my experience most women won't tell you what they like, then blame you for not knowing what they like. Can't win. And I make it a point to try to find out what they expect or prefer- the most successful lasting relationships I've had were with women who weren't afraid to tell me wheh I was doing something "incorrectly".
Unfortunately, with lack of experience, you aren't able to show or tell. Also, if she has told you and despite that, your performance seems to get nowhere and she realizes that you aren't able to replicate the feeling she wants, it's a mute cause. To much direction and men get angry. It's a catch 22.
I think you brought up a good point about those of us who are longer -- it isn't the be all and end all, and in fact can cause issues with some. Average is designed to work with average, and when you are longer it can cause pain for the receiving end, and also can cause us to have to hold back so we don't cause our partner pain. That said, there are things like the ohnut that can be used to help limit depth when needed. Also as I have said before, communication, communication, communication.
I wish there were some way to give this video 1000 upvotes. It is truly a fast and furious fireworks show of good, solid, vital information. Congratulations, both of you, Drs. Mintz & Malik; you hit it outa da park! Fred
I'm so glad I'm in that 7%. Is not the size. Is the energy. The personality. The experience and the care for the other. The love, regardless of the type and length of the relationship or encounter. Sex and love, deep love are the same. Once we connect to that energy, we are transparent, healthy, lovable and full of passion. Try it. Don't be afraid to Be yourself. Freedom is sexy!
Thanks for confirming things I've been thinking, all along I've felt that way and it seems I've been around so much negativity about size I stayed single for a very long time afraid to put myself out there, even though I've had some good experiences and know what to do despite being below average, the negative comments I've continuously heard over the years really took a toll.
Hey man just some unsolicited observations. Be secure and confident about what you got even of youbhave to fake it until you are. Never show a lack of confidence to the woman. Learn to be(if you are not already) a good kisser, really good at cunnilingus and foreplay. Learn to build up tension in the woman, tease her, take your time. Foreplay begins in the mind, flirt and tease. The more you build it up the better it will be. Don't sleep with a woman right away, stretch that out as long as you can, esp when it comes to the actual act of copulation. Tease her , eat her out, make her orgasm on your tongue and fingers. Be confident in your body and skills. When you finally get to the act. It's in the hips, move in circles like a dancer, not just in and out, move you hips like a girl walks , side to side and in circles. I have been with girls who felt very tight and some very open. When they feel very open I had to use every trick in the book to get them to orgasm, but I did it and so can you. Women look for security and that lies outside of the bedroom be that man
Took a couple years before my wife (then girlfriend) would tell me what she liked and wanted and what I was doing right and doing not so right. I was not offneded at all. In fact I was relieved and the sex got better and she had more orgasms. Women need to be open and honest and men need to pay attention and forget ego.
My best experience was with a older girl. I was 26 and she was 36. She knew what she wanted and I was eager to ask and listen to her. Was the best relation I ever had both when it came to sex but also when it came to actually talk about sex.
@@sqnhunter There is no 'fuckolympics'. There is diminishing returns at some point. You aren't going to become a dramatically better lover over decades of experience. There are many different factors involved.
My wife and I have learned these truths over our 49 years together. It is the warmth of our moments of intimacy that leads to shared orgasm. Now with prostate cancer and waiting for treatment, I know that no matter the side effects, we will be ok. Thanks.
@@dazeofmylife I received two does of HR Brachytherapy in four days----18 "knitting needles" each. PSA went from 27 to 1.9, a year later. Things still work, but you sure know that you are not 16 anymore. The urologist advised that the freezing procedure means "you will never have erection again." An uncle had the "seeds" and suffered the same fate. In my case, the biopsy was the worst part of the procedure---and that was just multiple jabs of the anesthetic.
There are so many variables. I first met my wife when she was 24. She lost her virginity quite young and had multiple sexual partners but had only had orgasm once with prior sexual partners. Right out of the gate sex was absolutely fantastic for us, she would always orgasm 2-4 times during intercourse although it was important to not be in a rush and it was critical to have some gentle pelvic contact and she indicates that provided clitoral stimulation which was critical. I am average in penis size and I never felt it played a big role in satisfying partners in my previous relationships. Intercourse usually lasted 30-90 minutes and my wife almost never had an orgasm in less than 15 minutes. The tricky part is that her clitoris is extremely sensitive and any direct contact, pretty much any oral sex where contact with the clitoris was involved was too much and even very light contact overstimulated her. Before menopause it seemed like the G-spot may have played a role because she would often orgasm if I made sure the head of my penis was rubbing against the top of her vagina in missionary position. I could actually feel the head catching on her G-spot when withdrawing my penis from her vagina. After menopause everything changed. We quickly started using silicone lubricant because with the physiological changes to her vagina she was prone to injury which could lead to urinary tract infections. We had to adopt a completely different way of having sex. Now, we spend the first 20 minutes with her lying on her stomach rubbing the area around her clit with her fingers while I either lick or gently touch her inner labia. She usually has 2-4 orgasms during this time and then we have missionary sex alternating with oral sex and I usually orgasm in about 30 minutes. It has been a real learning experience but we feel fortunate to still be enjoying sex. I am 69 years of age and my wife is 61 years old. Not sure if this will be of value to anyone else reading comments but I figured I would describe our experience.
My wife's pleasure was always first and foremost. We have been married 47 years, and always experimented. So we knew this for a very long time. Men are easy. That's why we always learned her. Both of us together. Keys should be unselfishness, communication, caring. Harder part is to keep it exciting, the other side of menopause. That is where romance should be enhanced, and foremost.
I have not finished this video but will say I always approach sex the same way I would approach manners in general.... my mom always said "lady's first" . She was a smart woman...
It's like they expect men to be mind readers. Would it kill them to at least make a noise when you do something they like? Every woman is different. Some like a light tickle on their clit, others like you to really rub it. Some can't orgasm unless you stimulate their nipples at the same time as the clit. Others like the equivalent of a full body massage on their genitals. Discovering her responses through trial and error leads to a lot of mediocre sex, even before they start sending bad signals. Some of them act like they just want to get it over with; pulling you on top of them when you know they are nowhere near orgasm.
Here is a pro trip: Care about your own, prolonged pleasure. Use her for that like a tool. Works like a charm. And don't comment before you have tried this a few times and were able to take a huge amount of pleasure out of a woman's body ;)
@mabe2551 I get pleasure out of my body from putting pleasure into a woman's body. I actually give a damn about others in general. The way you say take pleasure from her body or whatever morbid sh*t you wrote, reminds me of a dirty rat or that guy who steals from his own friends.
I think also part of the reason men have the insecurity is because a lot of the times women blame men explicitly for their penile length. It closes any path of communication as it puts the man in a vulnerable position.
Great video. Thank you for having an expert guest on your show. She really covered everything and set the record straight on all of the sexual topics and issues. Very important information. People need to be more sexually educated. Sadly, the problem is too many people are not. That needs to change.
I never had a girlfriend in my life I never had sex I never got to injoy anything like that because I was always to quit and shy to do anything like that
A big reason why there is a lack of knowledge of sexual pleasure in men is because most women either don't want to or don't feel like is there responsible to inform their partner as to what they like or want during sex. The longer a man goes thinking he's doing it right or that there is a one method fits all attitude it will stay unbalanced.
I think this is still rather simplistic - many women are not just comfortable with the loss of control over their bodies they experience in orgasm and are therefore hesitant to relax and allow it to happen. In older women with latent or occasional bladder control issues this becomes a much much bigger hesitation/rejection issue. As a man who cares and tries hard its quite dispiriting to realize the woman you are trying to pleasure is actually trying her hardest not to experience orgasm through will power and eventually physical rejection (pulling away etc).
I'm so so glad this video exposes society's ignorance to sexual culture like using vibrators to shame men and etc. Also I love that they hold women accountable for their role in enabling the ignorance of sexual culture. I'll never understand how women just act like men should already know how to please a women even though not all women are the same. Also as a man that does face insecurities about my lack of penis size, I'm glad that I can make up for that sexually in various other ways which allows me to become more creative sexually. Also it feels good to know that most women don't care about size as opposed to what the media and our ignorant sex culture portrays.
These convos will never stop because women use size as a way to knock men down. As if it was something earned. And as the doctors said it doesn’t even matter, but women are ignorant to there bodies and actual good sex. Lesbians don’t have a penis so how are they primarily coming? So obviously size doesn’t matter when all their doing is licking a clit with no penetration. But people love hurting others so it will continue.
He isn’t saying it that the vibrator in and of itself is bad. It’s ok to use one. The problem is way too many women use it and say things like “men suck, my vibrator better” “I don’t need dick, I have my big vibrator” but really an average sick doesn’t get them off anymore cause their pussies are loose af because women are lazy it today’s world. They don’t work their muscles naturally in everyday life now so it’s looser and they need a big dick.
then why do women comment on size so much? never every woman I have been with has brought it up, without me asking, that im bigger than most men they have been with. Maybe it does matter, and some of you dont want to admit it.
Let me to you small because we know who you are by your comment. I'm not going to dog you because you are small it's not your fault. But what you not going to do is lie and make it seem like us guys that are large are the one's coming up short. When I go down I'm like a submarine I stay there until the mission is completed. But when I go in I'm like Seal Team 6 I don't pull out until target G Spot has been acquired and she has been put to rest. Size absolutely matters!!!
Believe me it DOES matter, the anaconda's don't get as many repeat customers as the avg 5-7 incher because that shit hurts most of them. Women are not always all the time more than > 7 inches deep either, the avg guy can stimulate clit with male suspense ligament those 10 inchers aint got a chance on most women. It's a cultural thing, no doubt, mostly driven by ignorance.
Very important that there is a need for online content education about if we can name it ethical sex. As you mentioned for example I was having so many problems and misunderstandings about sex but I found some online education content that covers, clear, and solve them like your TH-cam channel. Finally thank you for clearing up the misunderstanding about sex and keep it up.
Penis size and other things? Part of the problem is with communication. Women are so often disingenous men can't trust to get a truthful answer even if they ask. But it's not just sex but relationships in general.
I struggle to comprehend the orgasm gap. My own experience is vastly different than the norm. Maybe it's me, maybe it's my wife, but our average is no less than 5:1, hers to mine. Honestly it saddens me that my fellow men out there are unable to experience what it's like to be with a woman that is truly lost in ecstasy as well as for the women, to go about their lives only 30% satisfied. I genuinely wish I knew what it was that we do to make our seggsy time so great so I could share with others. Thank you for all the great content Rena and doing your best to improve the seggs lives of so many out there. Keep up the great work! I appreciate you and your content.
I've basically watched everyone of your videos and I just want to say they are very informative and they have taught me so much. I also want to say thank you, you have helped me feel better about myself and my body.
Let's talk about women losing interest in sex when they've reached the menopausal years, which can't be helped. Leaving us guys to live the best years of our lives, living a sex less and bitter life. I've never seen a doctor bring this conversation up on any forum , should be an interesting debate...
All these discussion are just ridiculous. First of all never trust what women say. Not bc they are lying but bc they themselves r never clear in their mind what they actually want n what they say. Anyone who has been with women would agree. What they do in real world is very different. So size doesnt matter, be nice, supportive, blah blah are just to keep naive men keep running behind them.
@@Bestshivam Of course size matter. No woman has interest in getting f*cked by a pinky. Too large can also by an issue, but to a lesser degree. Also an extra large one may not sustain an erection for as long a duration. Women generally don't like getting internal organs poked The large size of average is ideal.
Bestshivam Don’t trust women or don’t trust scientific research? The women in this video are citing actual studies so why are you saying that this video is nonsense?
Let's be honest. Does size matter alone? No, but it more helps nearly all the time. No woman will choose a 5inch over a 7.5inch with the same relationship qualities and sexual commitment. Just an honest viewpoint
Studies were done using 3D models of different size penises and women were asked which size is the most preferable. 6 and a half inches thick was picked the most. The second size was 7 and a half. The third was 8 inches. The fourth was 9 Inches. After that it was average size.
The sexual relationship with my gf has improved exponentially since we started talking openly about porn, watching together(occasionally), using toys, lube etc. It really is incredible. Guys you need to be completely open with your women if things are vanilla. Trust me, she wants you to spice it up.
Actually since giving up porn my wife and I have a happier sex life. That's not to say it can't be helpful for you. Your sex life can be different, but you shouldn't assume others want things spiced up. You hit the nail on the head when you said you need to be completely open. Being open is what matters in a relationship.
(8:03) Sadly…there is a large percentage of women…who…won’t tell their male partner what it is…that would be most pleasurable in the act accomplishing orgasm…they would leave it up to men to figure out on their own…and…if the male gets it wrong…then…that man would be labeled “he sucks in bed”…my best analogy is…I give you all the ingredients to bake a cake…BUT…I do not give a recipe for guidance…I leave it up to you to figure out…one may get lucky 🍀 and make cake 🎂…but…more often than not…one will just make a big mess…and…keep in mind…what was successful and pleasurable for a woman one time…the next time…those very same moves may not be so pleasurable…leaving a man totally confused…
While it may not ultimately matter, or it may not be the TOP factor in a woman’s pleasure, size comments do happen. Or ogling over a well hung actor in a mainstream movie or show. That’s what plays into the male insecurities, not actual bedroom incidences where a woman made a comment or something. So frankly I think all this research needs to look into the nuances more. I do appreciate how reassuring this interview is for some people! And I don’t think the info is wrong in any way, just incomplete.
As a monogamous heterosexual Lover, as a Man, and as a Physician, I commend you BOTH for a factually-based presentation (based upon what is Real and thus actually, factually, truthfully, Exists in Reality). This rational and intelligent conversation will help allay pervasive anxieties regarding sexuality, and help to correct misunderstandings regarding sexual intercourse amongst people of all genders. ***The importance of MINDFULNESS (as cogently noted and introduced), mutual Respect, Compassion, Empathy, and Friendship (Relationships) when addressing and implementing sexuality is a fundamental element in sexual and Psychic healthfulness. Auf Wiedersehen! Salomè (Peace be with You)! Mögest Du in das Licht, der Wahrheit, und dem SEIN der Schöpfung leben.
In my personal experience , it's all about communication , I have noticed that women can be very bashful about saying what feels good to 'her' , as an individual .
The problem I've seen is lack of communication. Women rarely tell you exactly what they want and how they want it, they want you to guess. Or one woman i knew claimed she never masturbated and so hadn't experimented with what she liked. Also, agree about lube being very important. I argued with a woman who was convinced if a woman is turned on she shouldn't need lube.
Very good point!! I think sometimes women are made to feel ashamed to explore their bodies, so they have a harder time knowing what they want. I believe it's our job as dudes to make them feel comfortable in the relationship for them to open up to us, so we can learn how to make them very happy 😏😏😉😉
@@dandiaz19934 nah bro if you have a job in a relationship then its a job not a relationship bro. People should be open and communicate especially if you deem them worthy enough to have sex
I agree that women don't tell you what they like. i'm a boomer and boomer women seem incapable of givng themselves and admitting they enjoy sex; perhaps they don't.
@@dandiaz19934 the problem is that on one hand society babies women. On the other hand society praises women. Women like men are people too. They don't know everything, they dont understand everything and most importantly they dont always see the bigger picture. Society/media has twisted us into thinking that men should be the hard workers in relationships and females the choosers in relationships. Thats a big probelem because most women think it ok to do nothing in relationships. No honey. Its takes two to tango thats why most relationships fail. The amount of input being put in by the respective parties is terribly unbalanced.
I do NOT now remember exactly how this conversation came about, but MANY years ago I heard a woman say: *_"I'd rather be tickled to death than stabbed to death."_*
I believe that size matters because if a man is big enough he can please large women. Obviously if he is too large for his partner that can be hurtful, but it always gives the pair more options about what positions they can enjoy.
9:55. she says it could take as long as 20 - 40 mins for a woman to reach full arousal, but prior to that she said women can achieve orgasm when masturbating in mere minutes. We Men are going to need some clarification on this.
@@TheCocoaDaddy No woman needs 20 minutes to reach full arousal if she is into you. Don't get me wrong I love giving oral before penetration, it has never taken me 20 mins to get a woman aroused. Yes some women orgasm quicker than others, but it has never taken 20 mins. Many studies have said the optimum time from start to finish is between 15-20 mins. This is what women have said.
@@memyself1566 exactly.All these discussion are just ridiculous. First of all never trust what women say. Not bc they are lying but bc they themselves r never clear in their mind what they actually want n what they say. Anyone who has been with women would agree. What they do in real world is very different. So size doesnt matter, be nice, supportive, blah blah are just to keep naive men keep running behind them.
I watching your video and listening to what you are saying but I keep thinking about my female friends that aways talking about how they be so disappointed and making fun about guys that have small penises. So how can size not matter???
This video deserves an A+ y'all covered everyyyyythigggggg. I love it. Love how y'all talked about intimacy and communication which porn doesn't have it's all about penetration and male dominance.
Look fellas at the end of the day make sure you find you a woman that wants to please you just as much as you want to please her. And be sure you have a woman that makes you feel confident in every way because stressful sex on either person is not good, and by the way depending on what kind of woman you have you can get replaced by a toy.
When I was a much younger man I saw a show or movie and there was an older married man giving advice to a younger man who had recently married (I think that was the scenario, its been a long time), anyhow the older man told the younger, when it comes to a successful relationship, "you can't get your cookies until she gets hers first". Well I have lived by that by making it my personal mantra. I tried to learn from each of my lovers what pleased them most and I would perfect the technique and made sure they did indeed have a good time. As far as endowment, I am average at best, maybe a little less than average, but there are so many ways to please a woman and simply asking and getting a little guidance from them has worked wonders for me. I think another thing is some people like to be pleased, and some like to please. I've been told I'm the latter, and if I could cook I would be the perfect man. ;)
"doesn't matter if you're 10 to 12 inches " .. yes it does, like she said women don't relate that size to pleasure. That size guy gots to stroke it different more than the guy with the average size penis, bottom hurts like a mutha man.
In reference to size, there are a lot of videos from Asian and Philipino men and women who say no to large penuses. In Japan whites and blacks are not allowed in any cat houses without proving a small size. They won't let large men in because they can't handle it.
My experience has been that if the woman lacks mindfulness, especially if she doesn't masturbate on her own, it really doesn't matter if you go out of your way to involve her clitoris for even hours. With those women orgasm rarely happens with anyone, not just you. With the women who are mentally present, even if they don't really masturbate, they still seem to be able to orgasm. This has been my experience, which of course is anecdotal. Good luck!
I learned about being present during relaxation massage. I got no results until I applied a technique I learned in yoga; I placed my awareness where the masseuse's hands were. That was the key.
Simply this a video to tell men to once again work harder, as always we have to go above and beyond while woman just lay back n do nothing, deciding wether they like it or not. Women are never satisfied. Men always get shitted on no matter what.
LovePlay is Key = MINDFULNESS How someone is made to FEEL comfortable ‘Get Loose’ with a certain someone Genuine personality & character ( meaning , what one is really made out of inside …,in their heart &/or mind ) How one make some one feel as a person
Hi, thank you for the great content. It looks like you are recording a few sentences at a time and that makes for a jarring video. Please try and record longer sessions at a time. Thanks!
Thank you for this. I believe that as a male this isn’t just a video for us but for females to so they can get a understanding as well. Because they as well have unrealistic expectations. Especially when it comes to the pain part where females believe pain is a good approach
Woah she's amazing when comes to this topics, Thank you Doc and our sex therapist very well said,,I'll been Married for 26 years my wife and I we always enjoyed our making love time and always asked her, I can wait to see us go again and again. That's why important for us to keep it real and understand each other's feelings and needs....thank you again...you two are amazing 👏..
Wow!!! I first started following you when you had 300 subscribers. It's been a minute since I've watched a video but it's amazing how you're almost at 1M!!! You deserve it. This channel has made me consider Urology as a specialty, I'm currently an M1 student. Best of luck in reaching 1M!!
I hate to say this, but asking women whether size makes a difference as far as sexual pleasure is concerned is like asking the "devil" what one should do next! Women are "notorious liars" (far more often than men) but one CANNOT fake or falsify actions or for that matter "reactions" (they speak far louder than words),. There is so much evidence both objective and subjective in my own personal experience and others that issues such as penis size, muscularity in men, job, and financial status are the REAL standards that women react to, and no amount of "feminist claptrap" can alter this.
Men (like me) who have huge insecurities over thier size, 6 inches in my case, which yes I know is bigger than average, have these insecurities because women have done a very good job on social media putting out large amounts of consisten content telling men, if they aren't hung like a race horse, they aren't worht anything at all. So, I really think it would be helpful for women such as yourselves to not only keep putting out content like this, but get it on to Instagram and Tik Tok and work to make it go viral, and to also take women in general to task about body shamming men over something we can't controil. As you mentioned in a previous video Dr. Malik, men are suffering depression over this.
Absolutely correct. I dated "unknowingly" an adult entertainment woman. I asked her directly what exactly does she want in terms of organism. She walked and talked openly exactly what. Four play is important. Guys just going straight to vaginal sex is typically a do and done. Discuss sex with your partner. If not it's probably a guy chalking you up as a conquest sexual encounter. Reject those guys.
@@prettydog37072 Police can read, wow! But it only took you 6 months! Why are you telling me? Also who are "we"? Who elected you their representative? I didn't comment for all people here, only for Edd, hoped he learned something new and I hope you do too, sir
Thank you! The one caveat I would like to suggest is, to clarify the difference between ejaculating and orgasm (very different), I didn't have my first orgasm until my late 30's, and I had a significant number of encounters. hence the difference between men and women pleasure, might be closer.💖 And, are your earrings, little Hitachi's? 😆💖
Fact is that neither length nor girth really matter . . . It is how you use it that matters. I don't mean just how a man uses his penis. I mean the whole act of lovemaking (or sex) rather than one's body part. Foreplay, communication, post play . . . It is the wholeness that really matters for BOTH partners to be truly satisfied. I'm just average but when I focus on the WHOLENESS of lovemaking, we are both truly satisfied. Just saying
Size does matter to a woman. Yes these things mentioned are true and will work for those who opt to ignore the size issue. Overall, in secret of heart Women want a man who can provide sexual fulfillment strictly with his Penile Anatomy and his size DOES MATTER.
Thank you for the great video! I love the vibrator commentary and the mindfulness discussion. In my past experiences, having a vibrator (or two or more) has been very helpful...also can be fun to watch...
Men, for the most part, have always been bad at sex. I was a late bloomer in having sex with anyone besides me, but in that time I read a lot about it. Once I started having sex, at 21, I had figured out more about pleasing women than most men will ever know. Now I'm 74, and all that skill and knowledge is simply wasted. I had my fun, and so did many shes. I hope men are watching and learning. Keep up the good work.
Male orgasm requires little effort. Female orgasm requires communication and far more consistent stimulation to achieve. This is entirely due to biology not requiring a female orgasm for reproduction; the female orgasm is a biological leftover from the standard building blocks of human beings. Unfortunately, the vast majority of human history disregarded female sexual stimulations since it's superfluous in relation to reproduction and is not achieved in the process (unlike male orgasm).
I’m thankful I had a girlfriend that told me what felt good and what triggered her. She taught me a lot in my younger years that helped me through life. I should’ve married that girl!
Why and how did you broke up?
Its her loss. Haha
"triggered her"? If she's someone who gets "triggered", you dodged a bullet!
@@ThePrivateGamer19 I wanted to do more things in life and didn’t want to be tied down. Was in our 20’s.
@@Mr1Tanker actually, I literally did. She didn’t take it well and there actually was a gun involved. She went from heartbroken to pissed off pretty quick.
i love this.. its not a commentary on men... its a commentary on culture!!!
I've learned a lot from this talk. Thank you to both doctors. It really helps more if people can communicate without the fear of taboo or condemnation, but with honesty and trust.
Good Communication is Good Sex.....
It's interesting to note that use of the Hitachi wand in this way caused a big stigma for the company, so they eventually cancelled production of them. All that exist are clones now, unless you can find their old vintage model.
@@Competitive_Antagonist21:32 🎉🎉
It's amazing to me that guys need to be told this stuff...I get off on her getting off even more than myself most of the time. I was lucky enough to be married 23 years to my my late soulmate and we had total open communication with no judgements and total trust to do the right thing and being mindful of each other's feelings and responses.again I was lucky and blessed...these videos are indeed necessary though and it's a great thing you're doing them and taking the awkward away
Great content Dr Malik hit a home run with this one by calming the fears of a lot of men
All I got to say is shout out to these wonderful women giving men their self esteem and confidence back
What planet are you living on? Critiquing a man, what he does and how he does it is not the beginning of a healthy relationship. Good luck with that one...unless you want him to wear skinny jeans and split the bills with you. Perhaps he can stay home with the kids and do laundry/make dinner while you go out and earn more than him. Totally normal, right?
@@Dave-x8j 😂😂 wtf are you talkin about clown WTW WTW
Thats a fcking cap lmao
This is way sexual education and communication is so important. I had 3 encounters with older women in my younger days that changed my life from a sexual perspective. I learned to communicate better, to not be afraid to try new things and most importantly to keep my business to myself. Even today when I see them, I give them big old hugs. GREAT SHOW
.””
@@rogerjordan7544 ??
Bro
Have you any instagram account?Lets chat about your story
I like how you say encounters like they were some sort of side quest in an rpg
Thank you so much Dr. Rena for being a good source of education, especially for the young boys out there whose first exposure to sex is through pornography and the terrible expectations it sets for everybody.
I never knew the dangers of anal sex until know!
Ugly women talking about orgasms is like old women supporting abortion. In other words female equivalent of a sad man !!!
It does help if the lady your with will tell us what they want,it does help. It's not that important,but.🤫
@@brucekilby9957 I would say a woman telling the man she's with or about to be "with" sexually what she likes is VERY important. They say that men are like microwave ovens, we heat up quickly. Conversely women are said to be like crockpots or slow cookers. It takes them awhile to heat up. I would say women are like crockpots with combination locks. What drives one woman wild with pleasure will annoy the hell out of another. Example: One woman I was with LOVED direct clitoral stimulation (fingers, tongue etc...)...she couldn't get enough of it. But another woman I was with didn't like "direct clitoral" stimulation, she liked indirect stimulation. So, ladies, giving the guy you're with some information is a good thing not just for you, but for us as well. Not every woman knows how to give a man great oral sex the first time you're with him, you weren't born with this knowledge and guys aren't either with what pleases you. None of this "he should have known" stuff either, that's childish. We are all different. So, tell him.....TELL HIM!!!! Trust me, the guy will do pretty much what every you ask if he knows it will get you off. Oh, and if he doesn't do what you ask, then you'll know you're with the wrong guy....2 birds, one stone. You're welcome.......
@@tidefanyankee2428 Thank you. You must have lot of time on your hands.🏆🥎
There should be some talk about the sexual effort gap, because in more than a few of my relationships (Straight), it feels like all effort comes from me as the man. Effort during foreplay, effort during intercourse, and its lopsided in that regard. Men very often do all the work to get themselves to orgasm during intercourse, and all the work during foreplay for hers. Men are considered selfish if they don't want to, or know to put the work in during foreplay, but its almost fine or completely accepted as normal that many women just show up and lay there.
Good point. When Dr Mintz gave the stat about orgasm gap the statistic has no meaning until you compare the effort gap/work/preparation and attitude gap. I wonder why she does not touch on the very crucial topic of effort. These two female doctors seem to have very little knowledge of or respect for the male perspective and experience. Men are required to put in a lot of effort and men judged by the amount of effort they put into the sex act. Women tend to get a free pass on their lack of effort.
As I remember it just about 90% of women did absolutely nothing but be there.
In my experience most women won't tell you what they like, then blame you for not knowing what they like. Can't win. And I make it a point to try to find out what they expect or prefer- the most successful lasting relationships I've had were with women who weren't afraid to tell me wheh I was doing something "incorrectly".
Agree
exactly!!! You can ask them... and usually they won't show or try to explain it... catch 22 LOL
just buy them LV and Coach. They will tell you what works!
That's because they don't know what they want.
Unfortunately, with lack of experience, you aren't able to show or tell. Also, if she has told you and despite that, your performance seems to get nowhere and she realizes that you aren't able to replicate the feeling she wants, it's a mute cause. To much direction and men get angry. It's a catch 22.
I think you brought up a good point about those of us who are longer -- it isn't the be all and end all, and in fact can cause issues with some. Average is designed to work with average, and when you are longer it can cause pain for the receiving end, and also can cause us to have to hold back so we don't cause our partner pain. That said, there are things like the ohnut that can be used to help limit depth when needed.
Also as I have said before, communication, communication, communication.
My wife is 5’0” tall and 100 lbs. very petite. I am 6.5” long. It makes it painful to do certain positions.
I wish there were some way to give this video 1000 upvotes. It is truly a fast and furious fireworks show of good, solid, vital information.
Congratulations, both of you, Drs. Mintz & Malik; you hit it outa da park!
Fred
I'm so glad I'm in that 7%. Is not the size. Is the energy. The personality. The experience and the care for the other. The love, regardless of the type and length of the relationship or encounter. Sex and love, deep love are the same. Once we connect to that energy, we are transparent, healthy, lovable and full of passion. Try it. Don't be afraid to Be yourself. Freedom is sexy!
Thanks for confirming things I've been thinking, all along I've felt that way and it seems I've been around so much negativity about size I stayed single for a very long time afraid to put myself out there, even though I've had some good experiences and know what to do despite being below average, the negative comments I've continuously heard over the years really took a toll.
Hey man just some unsolicited observations. Be secure and confident about what you got even of youbhave to fake it until you are. Never show a lack of confidence to the woman. Learn to be(if you are not already) a good kisser, really good at cunnilingus and foreplay. Learn to build up tension in the woman, tease her, take your time. Foreplay begins in the mind, flirt and tease. The more you build it up the better it will be. Don't sleep with a woman right away, stretch that out as long as you can, esp when it comes to the actual act of copulation. Tease her , eat her out, make her orgasm on your tongue and fingers. Be confident in your body and skills. When you finally get to the act. It's in the hips, move in circles like a dancer, not just in and out, move you hips like a girl walks , side to side and in circles. I have been with girls who felt very tight and some very open. When they feel very open I had to use every trick in the book to get them to orgasm, but I did it and so can you.
Women look for security and that lies outside of the bedroom be that man
Took a couple years before my wife (then girlfriend) would tell me what she liked and wanted and what I was doing right and doing not so right. I was not offneded at all. In fact I was relieved and the sex got better and she had more orgasms. Women need to be open and honest and men need to pay attention and forget ego.
You are lucky most women never do. Then become more and more frustrated, take it out on the man and then divorce him.
Thank u for reminding the guys on that ego part lol
Ew dude. Stop with the orgasm talk.
@@michaelwaninger3155 sounds about accurate lol
Nah bro, we gotta be mind readers XD
My best experience was with a older girl. I was 26 and she was 36. She knew what she wanted and I was eager to ask and listen to her. Was the best relation I ever had both when it came to sex but also when it came to actually talk about sex.
Nice older babe
That's why I marred a slightly older gal second time around
age has noting to do with it this is myth
@@sunbeem4467 With age comes experience...that has a lot to do with it!
@@sqnhunter There is no 'fuckolympics'. There is diminishing returns at some point. You aren't going to become a dramatically better lover over decades of experience. There are many different factors involved.
My wife and I have learned these truths over our 49 years together. It is the warmth of our moments of intimacy that leads to shared orgasm. Now with prostate cancer and waiting for treatment, I know that no matter the side effects, we will be ok. Thanks.
Michael, best wishes to you and I hope you have a speedy recovery. They’ve come a long ways with treatment. God Bless you and your wife.
@@dazeofmylife I received two does of HR Brachytherapy in four days----18 "knitting needles" each. PSA went from 27 to 1.9, a year later. Things still work, but you sure know that you are not 16 anymore. The urologist advised that the freezing procedure means "you will never have erection again." An uncle had the "seeds" and suffered the same fate. In my case, the biopsy was the worst part of the procedure---and that was just multiple jabs of the anesthetic.
Try Ivermectin, it may save you.
@@alitatunertc1775 Ivermectin is for Covid so I've read.
@@dazeofmylife2 dig deeper. You will find out the benefit of it. Cancer is a big money industry.
Buying my partners a toy always lead to the relationship ending. They were too ashamed for their partner to know they did it.
There are so many variables. I first met my wife when she was 24. She lost her virginity quite young and had multiple sexual partners but had only had orgasm once with prior sexual partners.
Right out of the gate sex was absolutely fantastic for us, she would always orgasm 2-4 times during intercourse although it was important to not be in a rush and it was critical to have some gentle pelvic contact and she indicates that provided clitoral stimulation which was critical. I am average in penis size and I never felt it played a big role in satisfying partners in my previous relationships. Intercourse usually lasted 30-90 minutes and my wife almost never had an orgasm in less than 15 minutes. The tricky part is that her clitoris is extremely sensitive and any direct contact, pretty much any oral sex where contact with the clitoris was involved was too much and even very light contact overstimulated her.
Before menopause it seemed like the G-spot may have played a role because she would often orgasm if I made sure the head of my penis was rubbing against the top of her vagina in missionary position. I could actually feel the head catching on her G-spot when withdrawing my penis from her vagina.
After menopause everything changed. We quickly started using silicone lubricant because with the physiological changes to her vagina she was prone to injury which could lead to urinary tract infections. We had to adopt a completely different way of having sex.
Now, we spend the first 20 minutes with her lying on her stomach rubbing the area around her clit with her fingers while I either lick or gently touch her inner labia. She usually has 2-4 orgasms during this time and then we have missionary sex alternating with oral sex and I usually orgasm in about 30 minutes.
It has been a real learning experience but we feel fortunate to still be enjoying sex. I am 69 years of age and my wife is 61 years old. Not sure if this will be of value to anyone else reading comments but I figured I would describe our experience.
Thank you for sharing.
Why do y'all come on here and tell your life story like anyone cares?
BS
@@professionalpookie Be nice, Gerry. If you don't like it, move on. He may well help others.
how did you get through menopause? I think men need a support group. the struggle is real and women just dont understand the impact on us guys.
One should never leave a partner frustrated, always go the extra mile, and read some books men, we're not all that we should be.
My wife's pleasure was always first and foremost. We have been married 47 years, and always experimented. So we knew this for a very long time. Men are easy. That's why we always learned her. Both of us together. Keys should be unselfishness, communication, caring. Harder part is to keep it exciting, the other side of menopause. That is where romance should be enhanced, and foremost.
Ya and she has a guy outside who does the job
i agree, with my ex wife i would always make sure she always had an organism first, sex was always best when we both were fulfilled.
Bet y’all relationship is boring😂
@@cflip7452 That’s just rude. You can’t say you think someone’s relationship is boring bc of one comment on a yt video.
Yawn.
I have not finished this video but will say I always approach sex the same way I would approach manners in general.... my mom always said "lady's first" . She was a smart woman...
My cousin said something I alway knew. “Girls don’t coach us”. Up until recently the responsibility has been mostly on men.
It's like they expect men to be mind readers. Would it kill them to at least make a noise when you do something they like? Every woman is different. Some like a light tickle on their clit, others like you to really rub it. Some can't orgasm unless you stimulate their nipples at the same time as the clit. Others like the equivalent of a full body massage on their genitals. Discovering her responses through trial and error leads to a lot of mediocre sex, even before they start sending bad signals. Some of them act like they just want to get it over with; pulling you on top of them when you know they are nowhere near orgasm.
Yes, we play the game and they are the judge.
Here is a pro trip: Care about your own, prolonged pleasure. Use her for that like a tool. Works like a charm. And don't comment before you have tried this a few times and were able to take a huge amount of pleasure out of a woman's body ;)
@mabe2551 I get pleasure out of my body from putting pleasure into a woman's body. I actually give a damn about others in general. The way you say take pleasure from her body or whatever morbid sh*t you wrote, reminds me of a dirty rat or that guy who steals from his own friends.
I think also part of the reason men have the insecurity is because a lot of the times women blame men explicitly for their penile length. It closes any path of communication as it puts the man in a vulnerable position.
This topic is very important and meaningful to both man and woman to know their own body movement to serve with full satification
Great video. Thank you for having an expert guest on your show. She really covered everything and set the record straight on all of the sexual topics and issues. Very important information. People need to be more sexually educated. Sadly, the problem is too many people are not. That needs to change.
I never had a girlfriend in my life I never had sex I never got to injoy anything like that because I was always to quit and shy to do anything like that
A big reason why there is a lack of knowledge of sexual pleasure in men is because most women either don't want to or don't feel like is there responsible to inform their partner as to what they like or want during sex. The longer a man goes thinking he's doing it right or that there is a one method fits all attitude it will stay unbalanced.
True
As a man and as student to women, I definitely have been watching Rena's videos to understand the female anatomy.
I think this is still rather simplistic - many women are not just comfortable with the loss of control over their bodies they experience in orgasm and are therefore hesitant to relax and allow it to happen. In older women with latent or occasional bladder control issues this becomes a much much bigger hesitation/rejection issue. As a man who cares and tries hard its quite dispiriting to realize the woman you are trying to pleasure is actually trying her hardest not to experience orgasm through will power and eventually physical rejection (pulling away etc).
I'm so so glad this video exposes society's ignorance to sexual culture like using vibrators to shame men and etc. Also I love that they hold women accountable for their role in enabling the ignorance of sexual culture. I'll never understand how women just act like men should already know how to please a women even though not all women are the same. Also as a man that does face insecurities about my lack of penis size, I'm glad that I can make up for that sexually in various other ways which allows me to become more creative sexually. Also it feels good to know that most women don't care about size as opposed to what the media and our ignorant sex culture portrays.
@@kjhnsn7296 But it won't do me any favors if they're the ones that judgmental about me and my lack of size🙄🤷🏿♀
Using a vibrator isnt shaming men. She has to get her orgasms somehow. If anything, it lessens your burden of being able to do it for her.
These convos will never stop because women use size as a way to knock men down. As if it was something earned. And as the doctors said it doesn’t even matter, but women are ignorant to there bodies and actual good sex. Lesbians don’t have a penis so how are they primarily coming? So obviously size doesn’t matter when all their doing is licking a clit with no penetration. But people love hurting others so it will continue.
@@kjhnsn7296 not all. Yes to an extent. I mean, I doubt 3 inches will please a woman. Avg and up yes.
He isn’t saying it that the vibrator in and of itself is bad. It’s ok to use one. The problem is way too many women use it and say things like “men suck, my vibrator better” “I don’t need dick, I have my big vibrator” but really an average sick doesn’t get them off anymore cause their pussies are loose af because women are lazy it today’s world. They don’t work their muscles naturally in everyday life now so it’s looser and they need a big dick.
then why do women comment on size so much? never every woman I have been with has brought it up, without me asking, that im bigger than most men they have been with. Maybe it does matter, and some of you dont want to admit it.
My point exactly. It really does matter to them.
Let me to you small because we know who you are by your comment. I'm not going to dog you because you are small it's not your fault. But what you not going to do is lie and make it seem like us guys that are large are the one's coming up short. When I go down I'm like a submarine I stay there until the mission is completed. But when I go in I'm like Seal Team 6 I don't pull out until target G Spot has been acquired and she has been put to rest. Size absolutely matters!!!
Believe me it DOES matter, the anaconda's don't get as many repeat customers as the avg 5-7 incher because that shit hurts most of them. Women are not always all the time more than > 7 inches deep either, the avg guy can stimulate clit with male suspense ligament those 10 inchers aint got a chance on most women. It's a cultural thing, no doubt, mostly driven by ignorance.
@@phillipweatherspoon7602 Yawn🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱
Thank you Rena for educating me so much. From a woman’s prospective is important.
Outstanding video. I've taken notes on everything you've talked about here... Thank you so much for sharing all this great info. You both rock!!! 🙂
Very important that there is a need for online content education about if we can name it ethical sex. As you mentioned for example I was having so many problems and misunderstandings about sex but I found some online education content that covers, clear, and solve them like your TH-cam channel. Finally thank you for clearing up the misunderstanding about sex and keep it up.
Penis size and other things? Part of the problem is with communication. Women are so often disingenous men can't trust to get a truthful answer even if they ask. But it's not just sex but relationships in general.
From everything I've read and heard from women, they usually prefer girth rather than length. Too long is painful.
Nothing says small We-We like your comment 🤷🏽♂️ sorry the opportunity arised and I had to jump on it😅😆😂🤣
@@arieszona yeah lol bet your is like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.. sorry had to jump on the opportunity.🤣🤣🤣
This poor guy.
@@luisw3406 struck a nerve Luis😂🤣
Keep telling yourself that bro but no chick is into The Chodmaster. You do not need to be hung but 4 inches long and fat is not desirable.
I struggle to comprehend the orgasm gap. My own experience is vastly different than the norm. Maybe it's me, maybe it's my wife, but our average is no less than 5:1, hers to mine. Honestly it saddens me that my fellow men out there are unable to experience what it's like to be with a woman that is truly lost in ecstasy as well as for the women, to go about their lives only 30% satisfied. I genuinely wish I knew what it was that we do to make our seggsy time so great so I could share with others. Thank you for all the great content Rena and doing your best to improve the seggs lives of so many out there. Keep up the great work! I appreciate you and your content.
The truth here is that you are not doing anything differently to other couples; it’s just that some women have a hard time orgasming.
BS, how much MONEY do you give her.
Bro u just found one that ur compatible with. She likes your meat and she really likes u(mentally)
Thank you. My experience is similar to your wife. I think it is my choice in the few quality guys who were goodly enough to sleep with me.
Thank you both for revealing out all our hidden feelings & anxiety. I'm greatful.
Thanks!
I've basically watched everyone of your videos and I just want to say they are very informative and they have taught me so much. I also want to say thank you, you have helped me feel better about myself and my body.
Let's talk about women losing interest in sex when they've reached the menopausal years, which can't be helped. Leaving us guys to live the best years of our lives, living a sex less and bitter life. I've never seen a doctor bring this conversation up on any forum , should be an interesting debate...
Agreed, they loose interest and expect you to do the same as well
All these discussion are just ridiculous. First of all never trust what women say. Not bc they are lying but bc they themselves r never clear in their mind what they actually want n what they say. Anyone who has been with women would agree.
What they do in real world is very different.
So size doesnt matter, be nice, supportive, blah blah are just to keep naive men keep running behind them.
DUE TO MENOPAUSE : vagina becomes dry and oxytocin production is less ; it can be reversed as her overall hormones deficit are properly addressed !
@@Bestshivam Of course size matter. No woman has interest in getting f*cked by a pinky. Too large can also by an issue, but to a lesser degree. Also an extra large one may not sustain an erection for as long a duration. Women generally don't like getting internal organs poked The large size of average is ideal.
Bestshivam Don’t trust women or don’t trust scientific research? The women in this video are citing actual studies so why are you saying that this video is nonsense?
Let's be honest. Does size matter alone? No, but it more helps nearly all the time. No woman will choose a 5inch over a 7.5inch with the same relationship qualities and sexual commitment. Just an honest viewpoint
Studies were done using 3D models of different size penises and women were asked which size is the most preferable. 6 and a half inches thick was picked the most. The second size was 7 and a half. The third was 8 inches. The fourth was 9 Inches. After that it was average size.
@@amerhamad4577 thick ?
Uhhh I absolutely would choose the 7.5. That’s the man you marry. No one wants to have their guts rearranged nightly
It’s painful
If a woman ever commented on my size I would tell her, "If I knew I was going to play in a cathedral, I would have brought a bigger organ."
OMG🤣🤣
Big girls have cathedrals. Small girls have dog houses
🤣
Damn…lol
Reply with "you're not special & enjoy your dildos. Those are the only thing to put up with you"
The sexual relationship with my gf has improved exponentially since we started talking openly about porn, watching together(occasionally), using toys, lube etc. It really is incredible. Guys you need to be completely open with your women if things are vanilla. Trust me, she wants you to spice it up.
Rite my wife loves the 10inch strap on!!!
With lots of lube
stay away from porn its bad news on many diffrent level
If you need porn in your relationship than you have mental problems
Actually since giving up porn my wife and I have a happier sex life. That's not to say it can't be helpful for you. Your sex life can be different, but you shouldn't assume others want things spiced up. You hit the nail on the head when you said you need to be completely open. Being open is what matters in a relationship.
@@sunbeem4467 Marriage is bad for sex.
Caveat! I've been married to the same woman for 45 years and we both have never had sex with anyone else. And we still love it.
That's amazing! I really hope if I marry, it'll last our entire lives
@@MrSham3less same
(8:03) Sadly…there is a large percentage of women…who…won’t tell their male partner what it is…that would be most pleasurable in the act accomplishing orgasm…they would leave it up to men to figure out on their own…and…if the male gets it wrong…then…that man would be labeled “he sucks in bed”…my best analogy is…I give you all the ingredients to bake a cake…BUT…I do not give a recipe for guidance…I leave it up to you to figure out…one may get lucky 🍀 and make cake 🎂…but…more often than not…one will just make a big mess…and…keep in mind…what was successful and pleasurable for a woman one time…the next time…those very same moves may not be so pleasurable…leaving a man totally confused…
While it may not ultimately matter, or it may not be the TOP factor in a woman’s pleasure, size comments do happen. Or ogling over a well hung actor in a mainstream movie or show. That’s what plays into the male insecurities, not actual bedroom incidences where a woman made a comment or something. So frankly I think all this research needs to look into the nuances more. I do appreciate how reassuring this interview is for some people! And I don’t think the info is wrong in any way, just incomplete.
As a monogamous heterosexual Lover, as a Man, and as a Physician, I commend you BOTH for a factually-based presentation (based upon what is Real and thus actually, factually, truthfully, Exists in Reality). This rational and intelligent conversation will help allay pervasive anxieties regarding sexuality, and help to correct misunderstandings regarding sexual intercourse amongst people of all genders.
***The importance of MINDFULNESS (as cogently noted and introduced), mutual Respect, Compassion, Empathy, and Friendship (Relationships) when addressing and implementing sexuality is a fundamental element in sexual and Psychic healthfulness.
Auf Wiedersehen!
Salomè (Peace be with You)! Mögest Du in das Licht, der Wahrheit, und dem SEIN der Schöpfung leben.
I love the creative titles for books like this.
In my personal experience , it's all about communication , I have noticed that women can be very bashful about saying what feels good to 'her' , as an individual .
I have really enjoyed your review of this, to me this is why foreplay is so important in a relationship.
The problem I've seen is lack of communication. Women rarely tell you exactly what they want and how they want it, they want you to guess. Or one woman i knew claimed she never masturbated and so hadn't experimented with what she liked.
Also, agree about lube being very important. I argued with a woman who was convinced if a woman is turned on she shouldn't need lube.
Very good point!! I think sometimes women are made to feel ashamed to explore their bodies, so they have a harder time knowing what they want. I believe it's our job as dudes to make them feel comfortable in the relationship for them to open up to us, so we can learn how to make them very happy 😏😏😉😉
@@dandiaz19934 nah bro if you have a job in a relationship then its a job not a relationship bro. People should be open and communicate especially if you deem them worthy enough to have sex
I agree that women don't tell you what they like. i'm a boomer and boomer women seem incapable of givng themselves and admitting they enjoy sex; perhaps they don't.
@@dandiaz19934 the problem is that on one hand society babies women. On the other hand society praises women. Women like men are people too. They don't know everything, they dont understand everything and most importantly they dont always see the bigger picture. Society/media has twisted us into thinking that men should be the hard workers in relationships and females the choosers in relationships. Thats a big probelem because most women think it ok to do nothing in relationships. No honey. Its takes two to tango thats why most relationships fail. The amount of input being put in by the respective parties is terribly unbalanced.
She was correct…unless a woman is in menopause
I do NOT now remember exactly how this conversation came about, but MANY years ago I heard a woman say:
*_"I'd rather be tickled to death than stabbed to death."_*
what a great interview. even better Dr. Mintz's book is free for amazon prime members.
I believe that size matters because if a man is big enough he can please large women. Obviously if he is too large for his partner that can be hurtful, but it always gives the pair more options about what positions they can enjoy.
9:55. she says it could take as long as 20 - 40 mins for a woman to reach full arousal, but prior to that she said women can achieve orgasm when masturbating in mere minutes. We Men are going to need some clarification on this.
Easy: communicate with your partner, find out what she needs *at the moment* you're with her and roll with it. :)
Another woman Rena interviewed contradicted herself like that too.
@@3DJapan
Most women do contradict themselves - throughout their entire lives.
@@TheCocoaDaddy No woman needs 20 minutes to reach full arousal if she is into you. Don't get me wrong I love giving oral before penetration, it has never taken me 20 mins to get a woman aroused. Yes some women orgasm quicker than others, but it has never taken 20 mins. Many studies have said the optimum time from start to finish is between 15-20 mins. This is what women have said.
@@memyself1566 exactly.All these discussion are just ridiculous. First of all never trust what women say. Not bc they are lying but bc they themselves r never clear in their mind what they actually want n what they say. Anyone who has been with women would agree.
What they do in real world is very different.
So size doesnt matter, be nice, supportive, blah blah are just to keep naive men keep running behind them.
I watching your video and listening to what you are saying but I keep thinking about my female friends that aways talking about how they be so disappointed and making fun about guys that have small penises. So how can size not matter???
Key word is why it “shouldn’t” matter, BUT……it DOES matter and always will.
Full knowledge in one video...you did great Rena😊
This was a well organized; put together vid. Really enjoyable and very educational. Thanks
This video deserves an A+ y'all covered everyyyyythigggggg. I love it. Love how y'all talked about intimacy and communication which porn doesn't have it's all about penetration and male dominance.
So why is so widely repeated from society and women that size is such a big deal? It really can affect a man's self esteem.
After 8 years of marriage me and my husband talked about what is working and what is not
Look fellas at the end of the day make sure you find you a woman that wants to please you just as much as you want to please her. And be sure you have a woman that makes you feel confident in every way because stressful sex on either person is not good, and by the way depending on what kind of woman you have you can get replaced by a toy.
well said but find someone u can laugh &joke with u can't b uptight all the time life 2 short 4 that
When I was a much younger man I saw a show or movie and there was an older married man giving advice to a younger man who had recently married (I think that was the scenario, its been a long time), anyhow the older man told the younger, when it comes to a successful relationship, "you can't get your cookies until she gets hers first". Well I have lived by that by making it my personal mantra. I tried to learn from each of my lovers what pleased them most and I would perfect the technique and made sure they did indeed have a good time. As far as endowment, I am average at best, maybe a little less than average, but there are so many ways to please a woman and simply asking and getting a little guidance from them has worked wonders for me. I think another thing is some people like to be pleased, and some like to please. I've been told I'm the latter, and if I could cook I would be the perfect man. ;)
I'm 6.5 inches women enjoy how you work it doesn't matter if you're 10 to 12 inches if you know how to work it doesn't matter size
avg size is 5.3" so your good to go .
What about those with 2 inches? Let's be factual. Size matters
"doesn't matter if you're 10 to 12 inches " .. yes it does, like she said women don't relate that size to pleasure. That size guy gots to stroke it different more than the guy with the average size penis, bottom hurts like a mutha man.
In reference to size, there are a lot of videos from Asian and Philipino men and women who say no to large penuses. In Japan whites and blacks are not allowed in any cat houses without proving a small size. They won't let large men in because they can't handle it.
My experience has been that if the woman lacks mindfulness, especially if she doesn't masturbate on her own, it really doesn't matter if you go out of your way to involve her clitoris for even hours. With those women orgasm rarely happens with anyone, not just you.
With the women who are mentally present, even if they don't really masturbate, they still seem to be able to orgasm.
This has been my experience, which of course is anecdotal. Good luck!
Well I learned a lot that may have saved some past relationships. But this has definitely took away some insecurities I had, thanks doc!
To be fair, if the sexual component of your relationships was the making or breaking point, they weren't worth being with anyways.
Excellently described. You are a real source of knowledge on that matter. Thanks
Awesome 👏 thank you. I just bought the book because I need to learn more. Excellent questions and great interview Dr. Malik.
I learned about being present during relaxation massage. I got no results until I applied a technique I learned in yoga; I placed my awareness where the masseuse's hands were. That was the key.
Love love love Rena! Just an incredible woman and doctor!
Simply this a video to tell men to once again work harder, as always we have to go above and beyond while woman just lay back n do nothing, deciding wether they like it or not. Women are never satisfied. Men always get shitted on no matter what.
You hear the length doesn’t matter talk all the time, but almost never hear that girth doesn’t matter.
@@ajs41 and length
Extremely informative, thank you ladies so much.
LovePlay is Key = MINDFULNESS
How someone is made to FEEL comfortable ‘Get Loose’ with a certain someone
Genuine personality & character ( meaning , what one is really made out of inside …,in their heart &/or mind )
How one make some one feel as a person
Hi, thank you for the great content. It looks like you are recording a few sentences at a time and that makes for a jarring video. Please try and record longer sessions at a time. Thanks!
Thank you for this. I believe that as a male this isn’t just a video for us but for females to so they can get a understanding as well. Because they as well have unrealistic expectations. Especially when it comes to the pain part where females believe pain is a good approach
YES!!!! Sexual Education for us all!!!
Good for beterment of famaly life.😂😂😂😂
Woah she's amazing when comes to this topics, Thank you Doc and our sex therapist very well said,,I'll been Married for 26 years my wife and I we always enjoyed our making love time and always asked her, I can wait to see us go again and again. That's why important for us to keep it real and understand each other's feelings and needs....thank you again...you two are amazing 👏..
Wow!!! I first started following you when you had 300 subscribers. It's been a minute since I've watched a video but it's amazing how you're almost at 1M!!! You deserve it. This channel has made me consider Urology as a specialty, I'm currently an M1 student. Best of luck in reaching 1M!!
I hate to say this, but asking women whether size makes a difference as far as sexual pleasure is concerned is like asking the "devil" what one should do next! Women are "notorious liars" (far more often than men) but one CANNOT fake or falsify actions or for that matter "reactions" (they speak far louder than words),. There is so much evidence both objective and subjective in my own personal experience and others that issues such as penis size, muscularity in men, job, and financial status are the REAL standards that women react to, and no amount of "feminist claptrap" can alter this.
THIS …. Is an Awesome conversation ! So many topics to consider. 👍🏻
Men (like me) who have huge insecurities over thier size, 6 inches in my case, which yes I know is bigger than average, have these insecurities because women have done a very good job on social media putting out large amounts of consisten content telling men, if they aren't hung like a race horse, they aren't worht anything at all. So, I really think it would be helpful for women such as yourselves to not only keep putting out content like this, but get it on to Instagram and Tik Tok and work to make it go viral, and to also take women in general to task about body shamming men over something we can't controil. As you mentioned in a previous video Dr. Malik, men are suffering depression over this.
Never take social media seriously
@@zhetesteur3654 which includes TH-cam cause this is another form of social media 😂
It depends on the woman. If she's spent years married to a man with 8 or 9 inches, she's going to be disappointed with anything near average...
Absolutely correct. I dated "unknowingly" an adult entertainment woman. I asked her directly what exactly does she want in terms of organism. She walked and talked openly exactly what. Four play is important. Guys just going straight to vaginal sex is typically a do and done. Discuss sex with your partner. If not it's probably a guy chalking you up as a conquest sexual encounter. Reject those guys.
@Edd Stack: It's 'foreplay' not "four play"! fore - before
@@soundslight7754 word police. We all knew what he meant
@@prettydog37072 Police can read, wow! But it only took you 6 months! Why are you telling me? Also who are "we"? Who elected you their representative? I didn't comment for all people here, only for Edd, hoped he learned something new and I hope you do too, sir
@@prettydog37072 It's called 'giving constructive feedback'
@Sounds Light thanks for the feedback officer
Thank you!
The one caveat I would like to suggest is, to clarify the difference between ejaculating and orgasm (very different), I didn't have my first orgasm until my late 30's, and I had a significant number of encounters. hence the difference between men and women pleasure, might be closer.💖
And, are your earrings, little Hitachi's? 😆💖
Fact is that neither length nor girth really matter . . . It is how you use it that matters. I don't mean just how a man uses his penis. I mean the whole act of lovemaking (or sex) rather than one's body part. Foreplay, communication, post play . . . It is the wholeness that really matters for BOTH partners to be truly satisfied. I'm just average but when I focus on the WHOLENESS of lovemaking, we are both truly satisfied. Just saying
"Size does matter, and your bank account matters too.Ladies are heartless nowadays"
Dr. Malik rocks!!! Men’s health champion
What an excellent interview!!
Every time I watch one of your videos I learn something. The saying your never too old to learn something new definitely applies to myself
Anyone else get the horse tonic ad before this?
Size does matter to a woman. Yes these things mentioned are true and will work for those who opt to ignore the size issue. Overall, in secret of heart Women want a man who can provide sexual fulfillment strictly with his Penile Anatomy and his size DOES MATTER.
This should be taught in an educational sitting. Great job!
Or women should say what makes them feel goed 🤔🙄
@@deejean344 Fax
I'm "average length" and "above average girth" and I've received no complaints ever! 😂
Not to your face no. Behind your back, yes.
4 inches?
Thank you for the great video! I love the vibrator commentary and the mindfulness discussion. In my past experiences, having a vibrator (or two or more) has been very helpful...also can be fun to watch...
And or a tongue
Men, for the most part, have always been bad at sex. I was a late bloomer in having sex with anyone besides me, but in that time I read a lot about it. Once I started having sex, at 21, I had figured out more about pleasing women than most men will ever know. Now I'm 74, and all that skill and knowledge is simply wasted. I had my fun, and so did many shes.
I hope men are watching and learning. Keep up the good work.
I respectfully beg to differ. I'm 19" and my gal is very happy. And as a track man, it has helped my pole vaulting skills also.
Does female size and depth matter?
Good one
Yes LOL jk 😂🤣
of course it does, a 747 jet is still a 747 jet even if it flies into the grand canyon. ya know....
@@Lakillika yup I know LOL 😂🤣
@@Lakillika having sex with some women is like throwing a hot dog in a hallway
Male orgasm requires little effort. Female orgasm requires communication and far more consistent stimulation to achieve. This is entirely due to biology not requiring a female orgasm for reproduction; the female orgasm is a biological leftover from the standard building blocks of human beings.
Unfortunately, the vast majority of human history disregarded female sexual stimulations since it's superfluous in relation to reproduction and is not achieved in the process (unlike male orgasm).