AITA For Not Attending My Family Christmas Gathering Because... - Best Reddit Stories
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.พ. 2025
- AITA For Not Attending My Family Christmas Gathering Because... - Best Reddit Stories
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AITA For Not Attending My Family Christmas Gathering Because I Can’t Afford The $250 White Elephant Gift?
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A 29-year-old woman shared how her family's annual Christmas white elephant gift exchange took a dramatic turn this year when the price limit was raised to an eye-watering $250. Shocked and unable to afford such an expensive gift due to financial constraints, she tried to suggest a compromise, like lowering the limit or making the exchange more creative. However, her mom insisted on the high price, claiming it would ensure "nicer" gifts, sparking a family-wide debate.
As tensions rose, it became clear she wasn’t alone-other family members quietly admitted they felt the same way but were afraid to speak up. After word spread, her mom accused her of "staging a coup" against the tradition. Things escalated to the point where the white elephant exchange was outright canceled, dividing the family into two camps: those supporting the original plan and others opting for a more inclusive celebration at a cousin's house.
In the end, the family Christmas split into two separate gatherings, and she chose to spend the holiday with the “rebels,” embracing a simpler, more meaningful celebration. What began as a disagreement over a pricey gift exchange ended up exposing deeper family dynamics and shifting the holiday's focus back to togetherness for some.
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#redditfamily #reddit #familyrelationships #redditstories
This year my family has had hard times, so we decided to have family game night instead of gifts. I think it will be a better time
I like that idea. In my opinion holiday dinners don't need to be so fancy & time consuming to make. It only adds to the stress. Simple to make dishes but with the cooking divided up reasonably & no expectations of expensive gifts sounds like a really nice relaxing holiday.
Who in the heck can afford a $250 White Elephant gift and still do gifts for family? Greedy mom and not thinking of others. That higher $ amount makes it impossible for most people to participate. Way to ruin a fun tradition…
White elephant gift 250? Seriously? Spending that much on a stupid junk gift? This must be rich people problems.
Apparently, not every family member has that kind of money to spend. That controlling mother is a absolute witch to put that kind of burden on anyone's shoulder😑. I, personally, cannot afford one gift for $250, but managed to purchase items for way under that and some are practical items, too☺️.
@ewaleokadia76 and your way is the way it should be for everyone. If mother wants to spend that kind of money, so be it, but she shouldn't expect this kind of gift from everyone. Greed has gone too far. This isn't what christmas was intended.
@@rayshelld791 Yes, indeed, the consumerist attitude for Christmas and any other holiday is disgustingly sad😢.
I can understand how you feel, it might seem excessive to spend that much on a gift that’s just for fun. But have you considered that sometimes it's not about the price but the experience and the laughter shared? Could it be that these "rich people problems" might just be a different way of having fun and bonding over something lighthearted? What do you think the true value of such gatherings is?
@@TalesFromRedditHomeYou might have a point to some extent IF the whole family is well off. However, OP and some other family members don't have that kind of money. I, for sure, could not do something like that
If her parents don't want to compromise, then they should give her the $250 if it's not that big of a deal. Why do they not care about her finances?
Elitists parents
None of this is your fault. To raise it to 250 from last years 50 is nuts. Then no compromise from her. I am so glad your cousin stepped up, I was going to suggest that extact solution. You handled it perfectly and calmly. And helped out your other family members who might not have stood up like you did. Good job. Have fun.
250$ is beyond ridiculous. Even if I could afford it I wouldn't partake in it. U aren't wrong whatsoever
I’ve never spent $250. on a Christmas gift ever and I’m 65 yo. The family has turned this into greed instead of fun.
I can "suck up" (tolerate) anything. What I can't do is crap out money. If I don't have it that means I DONT HAVE IT. Jesus, what are you, TWO?!
Every white elephant gift exchange I've ever been to, the gift didn't cost a dime. You bring something from home that you don't use anymore, usually something nice, but sometimes something really goofy, all gift wrapped as a present. I once brought an overhead projector which I thought would be funny, but everyone fought over it ! LoL! It's supposed to be fun, not serious!!
We do 5 bucks or less.
We did £20 or less for the actual family presents! And finding a gift/present for £20 is alot harder than having a much higher limit
Now the way to sneakily way to get round this is get your cousin, Aunt etc to float that the white elephant gift should follow the British Royal family gifting tradition! Which means that it would be to get the cheapest, stupidest presents for each other!
Or WTF! Just go NC with everyone and everything, and spend your energy or time with activities with friends and people who like you for who you are!
When family guilts you about money write an expense list subtracted from your income. Show them how tight you are on money. Then ask them which bill they will pay so you can afford a $250 gift
A gift limit is supposed to mean the maximum spent. Our family usually does $25. Some gifts are worth more than that because the gift giver made them theirselves but kept the materials used under the twentfive dollars. One year an uncle made an amethyst necklace. He had found the stone while camping that summer.he cut, set, an polished the stone himself and the chain and setting were less than $25 for him. Another year a cousin who is a deer hunter killed three deer during his fall hunt he saved and made a beautiful hanging lamp. One year another aunt embroidered a set of queen size sheets.
Take an empty plate with a note that says it’s a virtual gourmet meal!
If OP's mother wants him or her to participate than maybe they should give their child the $250 dollars to participate.
It sounds like the situation is really tough, especially when family expectations come into play. Do you think it would help if the mom had a more open conversation about why it's so important for them to participate? Maybe finding a middle ground could make things easier for everyone involved. What do you think would be the best way to approach this?
Our white elephant is to bring something from your home you don't like or that is really quirky. One item has been making the rounds for years. All gifts,are put in the middle and people throw dice to pick gifts or take them from someone else. It's a hoot with laughing all around.
The whole point of a white elephant gift is that they are relatively inexpensive.
And FUN
One of the siblings mentioned to OP that supposedly a "majority" had agreed to the new limit, so they were either in on the discussion or the mom told them that, but OP talked to quite a few people who didn't like it, so it sounds like the mom pretty much decided this on her own and acted like everyone was on board with it, or at least most were. She sounds elitist. But what OP and the others seem to be forgetting is that it's a $250 LIMIT. They don't have to spend that much, you're just not supposed to spend more than that.
Perfect solution once people actually stood up for themselves.
My family made rules that the white elephant gifts should be no more than $5. This meant that it could cost nothing. I was only able to participate in 1 when we started this tradition because I ended up moving a couple of states away, and it's too difficult to plan to travel during the winter. Anyways, that one I bought a cheap bar of green soap and carved it into a snowman. Took some cardboard and made a winter scene to place the snowman in front of. It was a lot of fun and we had a lot of good laughs.
Originally, the white elephant idea was that you chose something you already have but don't want for a gift, d
so it was virtually free.
8 agree with m9st here. I would backboutxandcrefuse, t oovthatv8scinconsiderate IMHO😮
I bet there are other family members who would be willing to ditch the high price tag. Make the gifts something you already own. Lower everyone's expectations.
Then tell them you won't be coming for the Christmas gathering. Start your own Christmas tradition by going on a trip or having a bunch of friend's over!
S1: $250. for a gag gift is ludicrous. Sounds like someone might be thinking of returning all the gifts for cash. 10 x $250. pays for a nice vacation and op says they’re 18 ! Oh yeah mom and dad are devious. Being a grandmother, I’ve always downplayed holiday gifts for adults. I didn’t want my children wasting money on us. The only gift I’ve asked for every year is their family photo and if they feel the need to spend, I’d like it in a picture frame ready to display. I gotta question what kind of evil parent demands that their suffering child spends what they don’t have. They’re demons
It sounds like you don't get what a white elephant party is. It's not the hosts getting 10 $250 gifts that they can then return for cash. It's each person bringing one gift of $250 or less and getting one gift of $250 or less. It's an exchange.
Unless you’re from a wealthy family no doubt others had issues with $250 as well! If it’s not a big deal let your parents anny up 😡 or go thru your Mom’s closet and pick an expensive item 😂🤣 I would have no problem going to your cousins! Christmas is a time to embrace family, the season to share memories & make new ones with genuine laughter and love!
The limit is $250, doesn't that mean it's the upper limit? so you can still buy a $50 gift saying "wasn't that new limit the upper limit?" And call them selfish after they get upset getting a $50 gift
sounds like mom and dad forgot what the real meaning of Christmas is....
I wouldn't be able to afford $250 either. That's ridiculous. I'd have to bow out.
Me, too.
Once my brothers and sisters were all of age and starting their own families we as a family decided to not give Christmas gifts anymore hello we celebrate individual birthdays as we see fit the Christmas is more about bringing the family together then a bunch of wrapped up crap
If ops parents expect them to overspend on a tight budget for Christmas; they’re being entitled and completely unfair. Not everyone can afford 250 dollars on gifts. If the parents can’t bother to meet Op halfway maybe they shouldn’t go.
$250 limit means you can still spend $10
Overreacting? Ha!
1. Tell everyone that you DO NOT HAVE the money.
2. If it's spending time wiith family, then what does the dollar limit have to do with it.
3. Show up and BLATANTLY and obviously show how you are NOT participating.
4. If $250 limit is nothing, then how about giving me $250 for my rent.
5. Nicer gifts? Re: parents. Greedy much?
6. This would have come up eventually. What happens when they decide to raise the amount to $1K? Hmmm, are your parents deliberately tagetting you?
7. Show up with a $2.50 gift. "Oh, two hundred? Sorry, i must have misread the announcement."
8. What kind of family thinks that $250 is ok or even has that kind of money?
Stop dithering. Tell your parents they’re a holes for insisting on not understanding the situation.
I just had a great idea for you guys. Everyone that doesn't like the idea should all show up for the Christmas party. When it comes time for the exchange, you all should leave and go to the sister's house that is struggling financially with the gift exchange. She shouldn't show up, and they all should make a statement of support by leaving when it starts.
So from what I'm understanding your parents want better gifts. What I would do is I get the $250 white elephant gift and then get your parents crayons and coloring book cuz they're acting like a child.
So the mother is being greedy and materialistic, how to ruin The tradition, and gaslight the others into feeling and being like they are at fault
Its not a limit. Its a MINIMUM.
No, it specifically says it's a limit, not a minimum.
$250 is the upper limit. 25 cents is within that limit. The rest of the family that thinks the cost has to be $250 and don't want to pay that, should meet at your house and just have a nice dinner and good time.
4:58 And if OP joins in with only spending what he/she can afford then OP will still get yelled at.
If you don’t have it, you don’t have it. Your being there should be enough. Christmas isn’t about money, it’s about being together. Your mother and father need their backsides kicking. They shouldn’t be pressuring you like this. Feels to me that they are pushing out people without a bank account. You’ll never forget this. It’s going to ruin Christmas forever for you. Your mother needs to grow up and stop being snooty.
Definitely a work of fiction. Who does that? The very essence of White Elephant is to get something cheap. It's all about the laughs.
I don't know if this includes the fact that you can steal from others. I have had the gifts I brought stolen from others and I consider that a win
I've never heard of stealing gifts at a white elephant, they're usually just drawing a name or drawing numbers and choosing a wrapped gift in number order. What you're describing is what I know as a Greed Party. That's when everyone draws a number. #1 chooses a wrapped gift and opens it. #2 then has the option to take what #1 has or choose a wrapped gift. #3 can then steal from 1 or 2 or choose a wrapped gift and so on. Some people say a particular gift can only be stolen twice, then it belongs to the person who stole it the second time, but I've never been to one with that limit. Our limit was $25. It's supposed to be fun, not pricy and elitist.
If you do participate, don't buy any gifts for your immediate family, explaining that If they insist on raising the limit, you can't afford both.
No problem: Let the people who want to spend $250 exchange with EACH OTHER . Theeennn , let the people who want to spend $50 exchange with each other . # problem solved # next case
😂 I bet more people will partake in the $50 exchange. 😌😁
SHE is cancelling the whole thing?
Who died and named her God?
AMEN!!!! No offense, but OP’s mother forgot that “Jesus is the reason for the season “. I hope that OP and her ‘Rebel Alliance’ relatives have a great Christmas 🎄.
No your not being unreasonable your mother and anybody that agrees with your mother is being unreasonable. This is a ridicules amount of money for a white elephant gift exchange.
The people who agree with the mother can afford the $250.
"I think it's understandable that you chose not to attend the family Christmas gathering if it was genuinely affecting your well-being or if there were unresolved conflicts. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable and respected during the holidays. That said, it might be worth reflecting on whether communication or a compromise could help mend any strained relationships. Family dynamics can be tough, but finding a middle ground, if possible, could benefit everyone involved. Either way, prioritizing your mental health is never selfish.
Who spends two fifty on a white elephant? That's a bougie gift
Our white elephant gifts where always things we had around our house or things we wanted to regift. No way would I spend that kind of money on a white elephant. I would stay away, if that’s their attitude. I don’t even spend that on regular gifts. Maybe all of you that don’t want to be involved in the white elephant should have your own get together and stay away from your parents.
Attend but bring 250 Pennie’s or 250 pieces of candy. Let all who don’t agree with new limit do the same.
You opt into a white elephant by bringing a gift to exchange. If you don’t bring a gift you have opted out of the exchange. Arrive (gift less) and announce that you had to opt out this year.
I thought a price limit meant not to spend more. Not a minimum.
10:31 “… if I care about being part of the family.” Excuse me?
I vote for the rebel alliance
Hey! The Darth Vader waffle maker isn't a "white elephant"! It's actually useful & fun. I would like one! (Make waffles & then with your knife pretend you're using a light saber to defeat Vader in battle as you cut him up & eat him. 😂 In my case, I'd use my Enterprise pizza cutter to slice him up & then eat the pieces with my Sonic Screwdriver spork. To wash him down I'll have a drink from my Medieval Times goblet with 1 big ice cube in the shape of a 20 die & some smaller ones shaped like planets & stars & baby Yodas. On the side will be bacon served on my Mighty Thor snack tray. Follow up, 2nd breakfast with a fruit/veg smoothie in my Lord of the Rings glass that changes color with cold drinks, a sandwich & tea in my Mjölnir tumbler. On another day I will do dinner with friends & for dessert after dinner I will make brownies, using my (Marvel comics) Rings of Power & Dalek oven mitts. I will have drinks for those who wish one using my Farscape lowball glasses & my Firefly shot glass featuring Kaylee. After a rough day I will have cocoa in my color changing Batman mug. (Heat makes the Bat Signal appear!) On a day with more time I will make cookies using my Asgard cookie cutters & serve them with milk in a collectible Trek glass. Should I use the original Enterprise style or one with a reboot era character?🤔 🤣)
edit: Every white elephant exchange I ever heard of before had a limit of $10. A few also had a side game of giving "points" for how good the story of finding your gift was. After all the points are awarded, the one with the most points won an extra treat like a chocolate bar or such.
Is OP's mom a Choleric/Lion/Type A personality? 'Cos she's ticking all those boxes--need for control, unwilling to compromise or admit they were wrong, blaming and acusing others, guilt-trips.... UGH.
I was rooting for OP and all family members who were opposed to the outrageous gift price to have a separate Christmas party away from the toxic mom--so glad they did!
I don't care if the mom is the one organizing Christmas. The host doesn't have the authority to arbitrarily set ir change a gift giving limit or on this case minimum. That should have been brought before the whole family to decide and it was unfair of her to do so on her own. Also she accused op of making it about money when she was the one who made it about money when she put a price on it.
We are all broke. $250 is a lot of money. I'm retired and it would take a lot for me to come up with that kind of money for a gift
The two $50 women is a max not a minimum I just stick with buying whatever you want and screw the price
A limit, is MAX amount, not even an issue. Spend what you can and whoever ends up ends up with $20 in scratch off lottery tickets…you’re welcome
They say limit, but it sounds like they mean minimum.
If your parents cared about you they'd give you the difference of what you can afford and the $250. Ask them what would Jesus do.
Many years in my family, we draw names so we only buy a gift for 1 person. It's NOT about the price. I year I gave a $10 gift card to Walmart and it was truly appreciated.
If $250. is the limit, its at the top so anything under that is acceptable. $1 to $250. The key word is LIMIT. You cant print your own money 'to suck it up'.
Yeah. If OP’s mother meant no lower than $250 then she should’ve phrased it as “minimum of $250”.
I would not care if I didn't receive any gifts. I would be heartbroken if I couldn't be with family.
This is why I celebrate Jesus. Not stuff
The people who agree with OP should just skip the gathering and have their own party.
Do you disagree with the OP?
@MrRedditTales no, her mother is clearly a nutcase.
@@MrRedditTalesno, I think her mother is nuts.
Tell mom yes. Buy a $100 gift ant tell mom that this was your christmas contribution for all your family gifts
Go but leave before the white elephant gift exchange pleading another engagement.
If it's not about the gift, why $250? Your dad just contradicted himself. Dig a little deeper and there's someone with a superior attitude at the source
Who says you have to participate in the gift giving? Tell them not to include you in that part due to financial issues. Go and enjoy time with your family.
That's what I would do.
I figured someone wanted to bring the white elephant to a classier level. I choose to not participate.
Funny how people that have a lot of disposable income brush off and overlook/ignore the fact that not everyone is in the same position.
$250 is half of my maximum budget each year for 10 people in my immediate family.
It is the maximum, go to your local thrift shop or yard sale and see how creative you can be with $20. No one needs to know where you got the gift or how much it cost.
I'm a big handmade gifts person, because I believe it conveys more than just monetary value.
I would have bought items and painted on a canvas, and of course make it beautiful and unique, and one of a kind for that matter.
I'd make sure it would all add up to $250, because it wouldn't be SO expensive if you already had said supplies, or collected the items over the year without torturing the wallet.
wtf????? Seriously!!!! $250USD for a single gift- an absolute heck no.
$250 limit is a cap, not a starting point. Buy the same gift you were always going to buy for them, and tell them to use their imagination for the difference.
S 1 OP should have taped a penny to a white sheet and said "here's my Cachivache. Salud!
Not making a joke about the Spanish language OR Mexicans. But about OP's family.
anyy sensible personw ould have picked that up. It's a shame you have to clarify it because there are folks who will come on here to judge everything.. Your idea is golden!!!
@heffa3821 And it means nothing to anyone who doesn't know what the hell they're talking about at all. It needs further explaining.
Ok, then YOU pay for my gift, since u wanna spend MY money!
It's a price limit, meaning people shouldn't go over that limit. Nothing says you can't spend less. If it is really about the family being together and not the gift, no one should mind you spent less. No one should ask how much was spent on each gift. I just found the perfect gifts for my work white elephant at the Dollar Store and spent about $5. It went over well. I would just get what you can afford and stop making a big deal about it.
No just say no thanks. $250 for a stupid gift is ridiculous. Use money on something better and skip the drama.
Pt 2. Oh. Since parents said it doesn't matter the gift. Tell them to put it in writing.
Then with a little creativity go to to dollar tree get anything that rocks ya boat and create a dying white elephant gift yourself. It is a 1 of a kind art work you made and thus you can set the price at $250. And since the parents said it doesn't matter the gift is well everyone can see they stepped in it themselves.
A $250 limit means you can’t spend MORE than $250. It doesn’t mean you can’t spend LESS. I would go to the dollar store, buy a gift bag and fill it up with dollar store stuff. Merry Christmas.
Way too much thinking and discussion about trivia
If i were Op i would gift kohle for the gathering .
I got a old vacuum cleaner 1 year.
Her mother is definitely a elitist
Entiendo tu situación; no deberías sentirte culpable por priorizar tus finanzas. Celebrar la Navidad no debería ser una carga económica tan grande. Quizás podrías proponer una alternativa más accesible para todos en el futuro. ¡Ánimo!
If the $250 is the limit which means the maximum then just spend less and if your parents get upset that you didn’t come close to the limit then tell them I can’t afford the maximum so I went with what I can afford, and if enough of the family decides to just go well below the maximum maybe that will shut the parents up
Okay , this won't get to OP and God only knows how old this "situation" has been on here for us to listen to and write our opinions. But I do have an idea for OP. Take the bills that you have that have been increased because of this economy. And then add those bills up -- let's say that the excess bills add up to two hundred dollars even. This leaves $50 that you can afford for the white elephant gift. Place a copy of the bills with how much extra you are now having to pay and then give them a $50 gift card to a nice restaurant. For instance, my water bill went up $9; my internet went up $6; my electric went up $20; my rent went up $200; my grocery bill went up $80; my AAA went up $10. So my bills went up over $300 so I would just do the $50 and make sure that they understood why you couldn't do more. All you can do is what you can do. If they want to call you cheap or heartless then let them. But just make sure they know that you are no longer a part of the family and then tell them to eat shit. You may even want to have a nice Tupperware full of poo so if they give you grief, you can be prepared to rain on their parade.
Temu!😂
HiHey mom and dad, If it's not about the money and more about the spirit of the tradition then why does the gift have to be so expensive.
So 250 is that the limit?Or is that the suggestion or how does that work?What happens if somebody brings in a two hundred dollar gift and somebody else swaps for a two hundred and fifty dollar gift is that gonna cause problems. The higher the amount of money , the more stress you're given to everybody in the more chance at some Body feeling they are getting short changed.
Now let's think about Those with more than one person In the household.
So now you're talking about $500 or $750 Or more.
If you want to elevate the gifts , why don't you just say no gag gifts
That's tacky AF to make a gift minimum of 250 any way but i just don't get why to follow it? Find some thing on sale that appears to be more expensive than it is and get that. Done.
If some one actually goes through the trouble of looking up the worth of GIFT they received AND bringing it up so they can complain to everyone how the gifter didn't give them worth more money then just make up some bullcrap on what is cost and how you searched for weeks to get it and how incredibly tacky and ungrateful they are for complaining and have done with it.
Problem solved.
I had a bad day at work today, is it a little obvious? 🤦🏼♀️
$250 is fine in a large family if that's the only thing you have to buy. Realistically if you have a huge family it would probably even out. But still buying gifts for immediate family. Nope. Sorry
Oh boy. This is going to be messy. Not everyone will spend 250 and the people who did will be angry. I would explain to your mom what you can afford.if she won't budge skip the drama and use the money you were going to spend on gift and get Uber eats.
Too much repetition.
Where is the repetition?
crikey with this fiction - my secret santa is only $15 at the most - story sounds like a whole lot of entitled bogans. Sorry 'spirit of xmas' is most definitely not about the cost of the gift, but the thought that is put into it. Were your parents going to provide the extra funds?? Sorry but best to sit it out if this 'new' tradition is continually carried forward. Why have the parents suddenly decided to become so entitled - think the true meaning has flown from their bird brains. Go & help volunteers at a homeless dinner - you will feel more valued doing this. Bugga your parents & entitled siblings
The two $50 women is a max not a minimum I just stick with buying whatever you want and screw the price