Self love I think it is something that be becomes easier as we get older because we become less stressed of the outer world and we can focus more on ourselves and our inner well being. Love your channel, thank you.
I have never heard such a clear voice, such a logically explained message.All your messages . Emmy, it's not the first time I think you're one of the few people who can help others. Listening to you for years has helped me in a way I never would have imagined. The way you deduce one thought from another is unique to you, and I'm glad I met a woman like You. And as you said not long ago, education is very important.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Let's say that I love myself as I am and I am the master of my evolution. And then come the emotions and imagination that come from inside me, caused by the experience of life. Emotions can be exaggerated, imagination can be false. An example: Folowing some cases of incurable deseases in my family, I developed anxiety to any sign of illnes in my family. I imagine that the person I'm wory about is in the hospital or at list suffering. When I find out the reality everything was fine.I don't love these emotions and imaginations .How can I transform them? Emotion and imagination can be creative but also destructive .Maybe one day you tell us about it.Sometime I want to be a stoic.
I love Emmy's simple profound and loving direction! She gets it into my heart...like a true friend would... she speaks heart yo heart: what is done in love is recieved in love...Thanks Emmy!
Hello Emmy...Gabor Mate talking about his book, The Myth of Normal, describes similarly, because of many living with trauma, we are angry and frustrated with ourselves therefore creating a more toxic world, as i can attest to...being kind and gentle toward yourself will project that outwardly...or as RuPaul always says "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" xx
The more I learn to love myself the more I see how self-sacrifice is not authentic or selfless, because the process of sacrificing our needs often comes from a place of wanting others to notice the sacrifices, so it actually comes from a place of selfishness in that sense.
"There was once a man who was very stupid. When he got up in the morning, it was so hard for him to find his clothes that at night he almost hesitated to go to bed for thinking of the trouble he would have on waking. One evening he finally made a great effort , took paper and pencil and as he undressed noted down exactly where he put everything he had on. The next morning, very well pleased with himself, he took the slip of paper in his hand and read: "cap"-there it was, he set it on his head; "pants"-there they lay, he got into them; and so it went until he was fully dressed. "That is all very well, but now where am I myself?" he asked in great consternation. "Where in the world am I " he looked and looked, but it was a vain search; he could not find himself. And that is how it is with us... Martin Buber - The Way of Man
Sadly, it is a natural occurrence that we lack self love. We start as infants, then toddlers and on to young child on through teenager, young adult, etc. and we must be taught how to maneuver through life. Fire can be harmful, do not run with scissors, do not speak loudly or talk with a mouthful of food, etc., etc.,etc. So, our earliest years are filled with criticism; if we are lucky, we have parents and caregivers who ALWAYS have the patience to explain the reasons for the criticism. But, there are parents who, well, to be blunt, should not be entrusted with raising a child, and even the best of parents have times when they are not the most nurturing -a bad day at work, a financial worry, an illnes of another family member, there wil be times when a sharp criticism slips out. Then, we enter the world of school and the playground, then eventually, the work place. Depending on how emotionally resiliant the individual, it is all too easy to not have a healthy self- love. When one has spent a lifetime being criticized, more often than not for things that reflect the flaws of the critic, well self love is very hard.
Much appreciated.Thank you. But difficult to understand who or what is actually, genuinely, really myself and not the version so easily pulled, shaped, sometimes manipulated by external influences and forces that make me lose sight of myself.
@@EmmyvanDeurzenperhaps when we start really living ourselves - accepting the good, the bad and the ugly within ourselves, we begin to create jumps of joy! within ourselves ✨⭐️😘
I must say I’m having trouble with loving myself and my life. I think I’m depressed after a divorce last year when I was 72. I can’t imagine why I’m still here. What am I supposed to do now? I don’t get it.
At 63 I woke up to the fact that I have lived a life that was completely toxic for my true self. I felt like you do and I could feel my health deteriorating! I slowly started looking at misconceptions I had about myself and others. And because my “friends” and most of my family were part of the old paradigm, I had to let them go. Wow it’s challenging-we’re sposed to have all the answers by now, right? Now at 66 I’m doing better at staying true to myself, giving myself permission to speak my truth even if I do it awkwardly, and seeking companions who actually enjoy me instead of try to control me. It’s not easy and it gets lonely, but I enjoy myself more and I am more able to be my authentic self. I feel free-not knowing who I am gives me so many opportunities to find out. Sending you my best wishes for some fun self discoveries. And don’t forget to move 💪🏽
😂😂self love????? For ages our ancestors have not talk about that "glorious " bs obligation to ourselves, and yet, were way more humans then we are now. But we love ourselves, and someone is taking good care that people will be reminded of that illness. Shame on u. Teach u fans about how to be good, respectful, how to be like god
You are probably thinking of self love as excessive self love, or selfish desire. That’s not what I am talking about. Lack of self love is statistically associated with suicide risk. For definitions of self love throughout history, this is a rather good summary. Have a look and learn something. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-love?wprov=sfti1
@@EmmyvanDeurzen thank You for recommend material. Since the movement of love, new age becomes so popular, I have noticed that more people are becoming weak, more wars are swallowing lives., and magical people are becoming desensitize to our suffering. People fall in love with themselves, and another person becomes unnecessarily for them. That pathological behavior, will not stop on itself. We don't have resources, and enough wisdom to stop the nihilistic movement we are as a group running fast towards very, I mean very scary landscape of no return. Suicide??? Well, it's also a part of self love
@@fredvinci7071 I agree with most of what you say. There is an urgent need for wisdom in our civilisation. We have lost track of what matters. People need reeducating in moral and emotional terms. You are of course also right to note that when people become enamored with themselves and think they are better than others, this is hugely problematic. But as a psychotherapist I know how many relationship problems stem from people's lack of self respect, self knowledge and self discipline and all of that comes from an attentive inner process of self care and self education. Suicide is certainly not about self love. Suicide is about despair and lack of trust in the world . It is also always about a lack of self worth. You are clearly someone who deeply cares about the world, but it is important to not judge too hastily. We need to get to the bottom of the problems instead of condemning people. Here is the link to a presentation I did some years ago on love and its shadows. www.time-to-change.me.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/PPRelationships1016-EmmyVanDeurzen.pdf
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Emmy, yes I do agree with everything that You have written. In our exchange we are forgetting about the enormous power over people by "evil ". Perhaps, but perhaps Nitchie was Wright saying that man has killed god? Perhaps, that strong weld of god, has kept people for very long time in some sort of order . Not until Waterloo defeat of Napoleon has become the symbolic date (for me) of the victory of evil over us humans. The Frankfurt school system, have had devastate youth everywhere where the "demoncracy" went, and are still destroying theirs minds, souls, emotions. When I was going through chemotherapy, I was deeply contemplating Ghandi statement that hospitals should not exist. I still think about that , leaning towards agreement with him. The hospitals, rescue workers, psychologists, etc are not needed. Natural selection , if applied to our cultures, will teach very fast how to take care of our beliefs, health, recognizing the importance of wholeness approach to our survival.
@@fredvinci7071 I too agree with much of what you say and weep. Honestly. I’m wondering-do you mean that suicide is a form of self love (by taking yourself out of this world)?
Self love I think it is something that be becomes easier as we get older because we become less stressed of the outer world and we can focus more on ourselves and our inner well being. Love your channel, thank you.
I agree it's easier to do these things as we get older and wiser and calmer.
I have never heard such a clear voice, such a logically explained message.All your messages .
Emmy, it's not the first time I think you're one of the few people who can help others.
Listening to you for years has helped me in a way I never would have imagined.
The way you deduce one thought from another is unique to you, and I'm glad I met a woman like You.
And as you said not long ago, education is very important.
You are so sweet. It was good to meet you Thursday evening.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Let's say that I love myself as I am and I am the master of my evolution.
And then come the emotions and imagination that come from inside me, caused by the experience of life.
Emotions can be exaggerated, imagination can be false. An example: Folowing some cases of incurable deseases in my family, I developed anxiety to any sign of illnes in my family. I imagine that the person I'm wory about is in the hospital or at list suffering.
When I find out the reality everything was fine.I don't love these emotions and imaginations .How can I transform them?
Emotion and imagination can be creative but also destructive .Maybe one day you tell us about it.Sometime I want to be a stoic.
@@evagrosz1621 I have added your queries to my list of videos I need to do in future! Watch this space.
I love Emmy's simple profound and loving direction! She gets it into my heart...like a true friend would... she speaks heart yo heart: what is done in love is recieved in love...Thanks Emmy!
Much appreciated.
I am 68 and struggle with doing for me. We were taught to serve others. I am trying to work on it.❤
@@MyrajoL.heart.withART well done for continuing to look after yourself 💖
Hello Emmy...Gabor Mate talking about his book, The Myth of Normal, describes similarly, because of many living with trauma, we are angry and frustrated with ourselves therefore creating a more toxic world, as i can attest to...being kind and gentle toward yourself will project that outwardly...or as RuPaul always says "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" xx
The Myth of Normal....great book.
The more I learn to love myself the more I see how self-sacrifice is not authentic or selfless, because the process of sacrificing our needs often comes from a place of wanting others to notice the sacrifices, so it actually comes from a place of selfishness in that sense.
You were in my dream last night, I walked to a cabin in the woods with this owl on my shoulder as I knew you would feed this owl. 😊
@@veritehunter2191 I like that image truth hunter!
It seems like narcissism is more like a love and embodiment of a fantasy instead of self.
❤THANK YOU EMMY!😊 KATIE ❣️ KENTUCKY!
"There was once a man who was very stupid. When he got up in the morning, it was so hard for him to find his clothes that at night he almost hesitated to go to bed for thinking of the trouble he would have on waking.
One evening he finally made a great effort , took paper and pencil and as he undressed noted down exactly where he put everything he had on.
The next morning, very well pleased with himself, he took the slip of paper in his hand and read: "cap"-there it was, he set it on his head; "pants"-there they lay, he got into them;
and so it went until he was fully dressed.
"That is all very well, but now where am I myself?" he asked in great consternation.
"Where in the world am I "
he looked and looked, but it was a vain search; he could not find himself.
And that is how it is with us...
Martin Buber - The Way of Man
Great reminder of Buber's insights. Thank you.
Thank you so much beautiful lady. You have explained self love so amazingly. It has brought tears to my eyes 😊
Sadly, it is a natural occurrence that we lack self love. We start as infants, then toddlers and on to young child on through teenager, young adult, etc. and we must be taught how to maneuver through life. Fire can be harmful, do not run with scissors, do not speak loudly or talk with a mouthful of food, etc., etc.,etc. So, our earliest years are filled with criticism; if we are lucky, we have parents and caregivers who ALWAYS have the patience to explain the reasons for the criticism. But, there are parents who, well, to be blunt, should not be entrusted with raising a child, and even the best of parents have times when they are not the most nurturing -a bad day at work, a financial worry, an illnes of another family member, there wil be times when a sharp criticism slips out. Then, we enter the world of school and the playground, then eventually, the work place. Depending on how emotionally resiliant the individual, it is all too easy to not have a healthy self- love. When one has spent a lifetime being criticized, more often than not for things that reflect the flaws of the critic, well self love is very hard.
Great elaboration! Thanks.
yes Emmy, 🎯 spot on and wonder-full you, loving yourself and sharing that love 🐛🦋🌈
💗💗💗💗💗
Much appreciated.Thank you. But difficult to understand who or what is actually, genuinely, really myself and not the version so easily pulled, shaped, sometimes manipulated by external influences and forces that make me lose sight of myself.
Yeah. That's the next level. Will do a vidoe on this at some point.
@@EmmyvanDeurzenperhaps when we start really living ourselves - accepting the good, the bad and the ugly within ourselves, we begin to create jumps of joy! within ourselves ✨⭐️😘
@@moyamacgregor6739 Yes!
Beautiful 🎉❤🙏
Thank you for explaining self love so well. ❤
One of the most difficult things to do for many people
Absolutely right. There are so many taboos and misconceptions around it.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen I like to think of it as a verb
@@lindsay5305 Yes, it is an action and a process.
Thank you ❤ I'm so glad I found you🎉
Well done.
thank you so much for making these videos Emmy - you made my night :)
Thank you!
Wise words indeed.
Thank you. Very nicely put.
This is so uplifting. Thank you.
It's the duality of that I struggle with. Who loves and who is loved? 🤔
@@bb2021 Both. No duality. Intertwining. When your hand touches your other hand, you are both touching and being touched.
Thank you ☺️☺️☺️
Well said.
❤️🙏🏾
❤
I must say I’m having trouble with loving myself and my life. I think I’m depressed after a divorce last year when I was 72. I can’t imagine why I’m still here. What am I supposed to do now? I don’t get it.
@@elisayoungblood7883 Elisa. Your life is just starting. So much to find out about yourself, so much to do for others!
Unfortunately easier said than done.
What if at age 69, I don't know who I am 😔
@@kathleenhowe8134 A good time to find out!
At 63 I woke up to the fact that I have lived a life that was completely toxic for my true self. I felt like you do and I could feel my health deteriorating!
I slowly started looking at misconceptions I had about myself and others. And because my “friends” and most of my family were part of the old paradigm, I had to let them go.
Wow it’s challenging-we’re sposed to have all the answers by now, right? Now at 66 I’m doing better at staying true to myself, giving myself permission to speak my truth even if I do it awkwardly, and seeking companions who actually enjoy me instead of try to control me.
It’s not easy and it gets lonely, but I enjoy myself more and I am more able to be my authentic self. I feel free-not knowing who I am gives me so many opportunities to find out. Sending you my best wishes for some fun self discoveries.
And don’t forget to move 💪🏽
Now go read about me in the gospel of john chapter one
😂😂self love????? For ages our ancestors have not talk about that "glorious " bs obligation to ourselves, and yet, were way more humans then we are now. But we love ourselves, and someone is taking good care that people will be reminded of that illness. Shame on u. Teach u fans about how to be good, respectful, how to be like god
You are probably thinking of self love as excessive self love, or selfish desire. That’s not what I am talking about. Lack of self love is statistically associated with suicide risk. For definitions of self love throughout history, this is a rather good summary. Have a look and learn something. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-love?wprov=sfti1
@@EmmyvanDeurzen thank You for recommend material. Since the movement of love, new age becomes so popular, I have noticed that more people are becoming weak, more wars are swallowing lives., and magical people are becoming desensitize to our suffering. People fall in love with themselves, and another person becomes unnecessarily for them. That pathological behavior, will not stop on itself. We don't have resources, and enough wisdom to stop the nihilistic movement we are as a group running fast towards very, I mean very scary landscape of no return. Suicide??? Well, it's also a part of self love
@@fredvinci7071 I agree with most of what you say. There is an urgent need for wisdom in our civilisation. We have lost track of what matters. People need reeducating in moral and emotional terms. You are of course also right to note that when people become enamored with themselves and think they are better than others, this is hugely problematic. But as a psychotherapist I know how many relationship problems stem from people's lack of self respect, self knowledge and self discipline and all of that comes from an attentive inner process of self care and self education. Suicide is certainly not about self love. Suicide is about despair and lack of trust in the world . It is also always about a lack of self worth. You are clearly someone who deeply cares about the world, but it is important to not judge too hastily. We need to get to the bottom of the problems instead of condemning people. Here is the link to a presentation I did some years ago on love and its shadows. www.time-to-change.me.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/PPRelationships1016-EmmyVanDeurzen.pdf
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Emmy, yes I do agree with everything that You have written. In our exchange we are forgetting about the enormous power over people by "evil ".
Perhaps, but perhaps Nitchie was Wright saying that man has killed god?
Perhaps, that strong weld of god, has kept people for very long time in some sort of order . Not until Waterloo defeat of Napoleon has become the symbolic date (for me) of the victory of evil over us humans.
The Frankfurt school system, have had devastate youth everywhere where the "demoncracy" went, and are still destroying theirs minds, souls, emotions.
When I was going through chemotherapy, I was deeply contemplating Ghandi statement that hospitals should not exist. I still think about that , leaning towards agreement with him. The hospitals, rescue workers, psychologists, etc are not needed. Natural selection , if applied to our cultures, will teach very fast how to take care of our beliefs, health, recognizing the importance of wholeness approach to our survival.
@@fredvinci7071 I too agree with much of what you say and weep. Honestly. I’m wondering-do you mean that suicide is a form of self love (by taking yourself out of this world)?