What Do You Do When You Feel Left Out From Your Circle Of Friends
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 พ.ค. 2018
- Today’s Question: What do you do when you feel left out from your circle of friends?
It can be really frustrating when you find yourself on the outside of your circle of friends. No matter how much you try, your mind just won’t let it go. "How did I get here?" "What is wrong with them or with me?" "How do I find my way back into the circle?" The questions just keep circling in your mind until the questions and sadness turn to frustration and then escalated into blame.
Today’s episode is all about giving you insight and action to alleviate the frustration and create the space you are looking for in your circle of friends. Watch today’s video and learn practical approach to make situations like this work in your favor.
A few things to always keep in mind:
• You can’t change people no matter how much you think about it or wish it to be.
• Your heart’s work is to return to your essential truth.
• It is in the ownership of your truth that you find your personal power and ability to rise.
As you watch the video or listen to the podcast version, know that I holding a place of love for you where your path home to your truth is undeniable.
Don’t for get to leave your comments and questions.
Pro Tip: If your friends continuously forget you exist and don’t invite invite you to their little get-togethers they are not really your friends
This is very true, sometime hard for people to understand. The interesting thing is that if people don't take care of their own information, and figure out how they really want to feel, and then figure out how to feel worthy enough to allow themselves to experience those feelings.... the same kind of people will keep showing up in their lives.
Hey let me dream
What if they live in a different place then you and every time you FaceTime them all they do is talk to each other and leave you out but you love them and every time you feel left out your scared to bring it up cause they’ll just be selfish like they always are so you cry yourself to sleep most nights thinking no one cares about you cause that’s my situation
@Emma Does stuff Uhhh... maybe try asserting yourself into the conversation more? Tell them how you feel and if they still leave you out just go get some new friends imo. It can be rough but sometimes that’s the way it goes
Cringy Alien Guy yeah but I love the friends I have and I can’t tell them how I feel cause I’m always upset I feel like there sick of me thanks for the advice by the way
The thing is, I'm not left out. I feel left out. Because when I'm with them, they don't let me walk next to them, they never talk to me and when I start interacting with them, it ends very quickly, because another person has something funnier to tell.
I do have other friends on school though and I don't feel left out in that smaller group, but that are just mates. Every friend I have is a mate. I don't have a good friend. Like I'm always there for them, but they have always gotten someone else to tell their issues or whatever.
Ruth, to totally understand what you are saying. You really hit on something in your comment; "feel left out," it really all comes down to feeling. What did you take away from the video that might be able to help you?
@@awakeningtoyourstory this video really helped I talked to them in real life with the,"Dear Alicia text. They understood and they include me in more things...thankyou also for you video.
@@awakeningtoyourstory as in we all used to be great close friends then new friends came and like I said before then with your video it gave me more confidence to talk to them..
Literally me
Hey I'm ur good friend:) And you matter too!
I always feel left out from my group of friends. They all do everything together and I'm basically just there. They always pay attention to each other. Once they all left me and played volleyball. I feel so alone even though I'm with alot of people. I stay home alot so I don't have to go to school and and basically recreate all my bad days :(
Ok, no more creating bad days! You are worthy of so much more than staying home and feeling left out. I want to remind you that you have the power over circumstances rather then them having the power over you. Here are a few things to help you take back your power over this negative circumstance. #1 Watch your thoughts carefully. Your thoughts become the experiences that unfold before you. #2 Use this statement as often as possible. "It is less about them and more about my heart and my story." This statement will help you get more neutral about the situation. You only have the power over your own life; to change it, create what you desire, and learn from all that shows up. You will never truly have the ability to change or know someone else's story. SO DON'T ALLOW IT TO ALL BECOME FOCUSED ON THEM. #3 Use it to your advantage. If you are experiencing something that you don't like in your story, like feeling left out and having lots of bad days, then it's time to use where you are to your advantage. Don't sit on the sidelines of your life, be the main player of the game!.
Rather than focusing on how wrong they are, how small you feel, or how separated from what you want you may be; focus on how you want to feel within your story instead. How would it feel to be on the inside? How would it feel to have a good day? What would that good day include? How would it feel for your friends to care about you and really see you for how wonderful you are? Come up with some thoughts that are more aligned with that side of your story. Write them down, like a lot and daydream about them. Then as the old thoughts or experiences creep in, witness them and then say to yourself this old stuff doesn't fit into my story anymore. Then pick up those new thoughts about your life and think them instead. That time alone at home will be much better spent writing about the life you would like to have and the feelings that you want to create! Remember, your true friends are on their way into your life. Your happy days are coming to you. You've got this! I BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTHY HAVE HAVING THOSE GOOD DAYS AND THE CLOSENESS AND CONNECTION YOU DESIRE!
same! I know twice that they went to one of my friends house secretly to hangout and didn’t tell me. They all talk with each other but completely ignore me
omg same I’m through mental depression now :(
Same for me
@@n51781 if u feel that or u're experienced it , u're definitely worthy , people just don't know ur worth and u deserve to be in a better place with better friends , and m sure u will one day
to people who feel left out: I hope you know your worth and that you don’t need the acceptance of others. The only opinion that should matter is your own. You define yourself. Don’t surround yourself with people who make you feel that you’re worth less than, ignore you constantly, or simply treat you horribly. If you want to feel accepted you should be able to accept and love yourself before you allow anyone else to.
YES!!!! This is SO beautifully said!! Thank you so much for using your voice and taking the time to type out this comment! WE all need more of this kind of kindness and support!!!
This helped me alot! :)
@@blinkpink_youtube I am so glad!!
I've tried that. Tried to deliver pizza a few years. I was constantly laughed at. So I know my worth. The answer is I'm "worthless" period.
@@iamyournytemare4253 no one is worthless. we, ourselves are our biggest critics and constantly judge ourselves for not being better like others. delivering pizza is nothing to be ashamed of, I mean at least you were making money. not many have the privilege to even work a job due to the circumstances in their country or whatnot. all in all, YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS. This is easier said than done but forget what people say about you. I’ve been at the point where I cared too much about what others thought and I missed out on so many great opportunities. Don’t make the same mistake, live life and do what makes you happy because no one else will do it for you. hopefully, everything will go alright for you. don’t give up, keep going!! :)
i feel so left out, my 2 best friends were hanging out together without even asking me to be with them, it hurts me so much because i love them dearly and i want to have a good friendship with them so im just not telling them anything because i don't want this to go downhill and they are going to say that "its not my fault that your parents took ur phone" or something like "u weren't responding to my texts". That really hurts me because im trying to be a good friend to try to respond to them and now my parents are telling me "ur being on ur phone way to much" so thats why they take it. the main reason im on it so much is because I DON'T WANT TO MISS YOUR TEXTS IM SORRY. i felt like saying all of this it makes me feel so much better now
I am glad getting it out helped you feel better. Just remember no matter what is happening with your friends you are worthy and wonderfully unique in all the perfect ways that make you, you.
Agbutera I had the same thing, I'm in a group of three and my two best friends and I said in the holidays we would meet at a park and take cute pictures of us and the nature, then they just went by themselves, and plastered it all over instagram! One of them gave me a call which I missed but nothing was said and they never told me they were doing what we planned without me😭
Omg I’m the same it’s so sad
agbutera it is crazy how much it’s relatable to me. They respond like “you don’t talk to us” like its my fault. But i just feel so sad that i don’t know what to say.
I feel this way to
Sometimes you just have to tell yourself to be strong, independent, and that you don’t need friends, because sometimes we get too caught up focusing on others that we don’t pay attention too ourselves. The best time to mentally and physically glow up is when you focus on yourself.❤️ you can get through it. Just do you
Yes Girl!!!! Focusing on your own heart and story is the way to go!!!!
Now I will say that creating with people is a magical and an amazing experience that everyone has the ability to tap into. But it is so much better when you can do that from a place of inner strength, love, and worthiness. And those things don't come from others they are essential to you... but you have to focus and build up your own relationship with them!
never NEVER go over board just to feel included. People will never be satisfied and that’s reality. And remember life is temporary, so don’t waste it chasing after undeserving "friends"
Great point. Going overboard to feel included usually means you have let someone else become the main character in your story... and that never feels good.
PREACH PREACH PREACH !!!
I saw on instagram story and snapchat that my whole group (around 12 to 15) all went to a bbq and I wasnt included. It really hurt me alot. I tried to think about why i wasnt included but it just hurts too much.
I am so sorry you are experiencing these feelings of being left out in such a loud way. I have replied to a few comments today that are similar to yours and I have given them a challenge that I would like to offer you. Write me back and tell me how you want to feel in friendship. As you write try not to make it about them, but really focus on the desire that your heart is longing to experience. I can't wait to hear what you come up with.
I feel you my friend made a tiktok “ best friends “
And I wasn’t included I thought we were besties. 😭
similar to what happened to me.
Same here. Family gathers w/o me. Hurts a lot. 😢
Same here. Hurts a lot
I honestly feel like I need to play along with people’s dumb habits just so that I can be accepted.
i feel you
What if you are trying to be accepted by the wrong people? Not everyone has the same "habits" or opinions about those habits so there is a level of tolerance and grace we give people we care about and they give us.... because we are all different.
But it sounds like you are being asked to pay a price for people to accept you. And that can't feel good because it's all out of alignment with the core of who you are.
The wright people.... (true friends) who you can create amazing things with, that will rally behind you in times of need and celebrate with you in times of joy.... those friendships don't carry a price for your acceptance. Those relationships won't feel weighted down, instead they will feel freeing, like a value addition to your life not something you have to put up with.
You deserve and are worthy of those kinds of friendships...
Here are a couple other videos I picked out that I think will help you:
This one is about how to get the love you want.... even in friendships:
th-cam.com/video/jzFcA5npgNM/w-d-xo.html
This one is about how to bring the right kind of people into your life:
th-cam.com/video/CggBtitcjCo/w-d-xo.html
And just in case you need it this one is about dealing with toxic relationships:
th-cam.com/video/-AryW1gGkmI/w-d-xo.html
Oh and most important these are about owning your worth and value:
th-cam.com/video/hCY3TztTnZQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/T6mVDlRT-ao/w-d-xo.html
Let me know if these help or if you have any questions!! And Remember you are deserving and worthy of amazing and fulfilling friendships!
This goes for you too!
"What if you are trying to be accepted by the wrong people? Not everyone has the same "habits" or opinions about those habits so there is a level of tolerance and grace we give people we care about and they give us.... because we are all different.
But it sounds like you are being asked to pay a price for people to accept you. And that can't feel good because it's all out of alignment with the core of who you are.
The wright people.... (true friends) who you can create amazing things with, that will rally behind you in times of need and celebrate with you in times of joy.... those friendships don't carry a price for your acceptance. Those relationships won't feel weighted down, instead they will feel freeing, like a value addition to your life not something you have to put up with.
You deserve and are worthy of those kinds of friendships...
Here are a couple other videos I picked out that I think will help you:
This one is about how to get the love you want.... even in friendships:
th-cam.com/video/jzFcA5npgNM/w-d-xo.html
This one is about how to bring the right kind of people into your life:
th-cam.com/video/CggBtitcjCo/w-d-xo.html
And just in case you need it this one is about dealing with toxic relationships:
th-cam.com/video/-AryW1gGkmI/w-d-xo.html
Oh and most important these are about owning your worth and value:
th-cam.com/video/hCY3TztTnZQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/T6mVDlRT-ao/w-d-xo.html
Let me know if these help or if you have any questions!! And Remember you are deserving and worthy of amazing and fulfilling friendships!"
@@awakeningtoyourstory Thank you so much. This genuinely helped, I really can't thank you enough. Your advice definitely helped me to see things differently, I can't possibly show how grateful I am.
@@tiramiisu0 You are so welcome! I'm so glad you are seeing it differently! Keep me posted on how it's going!
This is the reason I dont like being in friend groups....cuz I always feel left out...when i ask or say something,I just get shrugged off....I feel like im the “not so important” friend.....For me,it’s better to only have one friend...
That's totally my opinion!!
Woah thank you for the heart! 💕
Well I am a firm believer in quality over quantity always!
Just remember that whether you have one friend or you find yourself in a group of friends.... no one has the power to make you feel any particular way unless you let them. And usually that happens because we are more focused on them then we are on our own hearts....
Owning your worth, value and truth is a game changer because it make you less fragile when people do crappy things (on purpose or on accident).
Just as a reminder incase no one has told you this in a while....
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSE!
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LEFT YOU OUT OR SHRUGGED YOU OFF IN THE PAST..... YOUR WORTHINESS ALSO HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH: WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, IF THEY INVITE YOU PLACES OR INCLUDE YOU, ANY OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES (GOOD OR BAD), WHAT YOU HAVE OR HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED, WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, HOW POPULAR YOU ARE, YOUR AGE - EXPERIENCES - GENDER - RELIGION - RACE - ORIGINATION - WEALTH OR STATUS!
When you realize that YOUR WORTH COMES JUST BY BEING YOU... A COMPLETELY UNIQUE BEING... Your worthiness is off limits to anyone's actions (intentional or unintentional).
Anyway sending you so much love your way!
My comment goes for you too!!
@@awakeningtoyourstory You're just so kind, thank you for the motivation! ♥️
I am always left out of my friend group.
They plan meet ups and hang outs in front of me and they have gcs and they make me feel lonely. I feel like they do not like me nor do they appreciate me. I know I sound cocky but I feel like I do a lot in our relationship and when I say that I mean I’m doing a lot by staying. They stress me out. I feel like I’m only around for emotional support and not a genuine part of the friendship. I’m not asking to be included in everything but it lowkey hurts my feelings but I’ll be cutting them off slowly.
I don't think it sounds cocky at all, I think you are in the middle of a dynamic that is not fulfill you, and it sounds like you feel a little used by your friends. Did the video help you sort through some of your feelings about it all?
Awakening to Your Story yes this video did help me sort out some of my personal feelings and the problems I have with them, I’ve talked to my mom and my cousin abt my one friend who’s a little insensitive and expects others to bend over backwards for her, it made me realize that my whole “group” isn’t fake or toxic they just don’t know how I feel but since my feelings are always shrugged off I don’t tell them anything. Sorry I feel like I’m ranting 😂
Thank you so much.
But as you said try to connect from heart with your friends. I sometimes feel hard to connect because they really don't pay attention towards me.
It helps if you can find your sense of connection no matter what the people around you are doing. What does it feel like for you to be connected?
I have friends but I'm always left out. I can't walk with them, can't play the same games with them. And if I'm talking with someone, another person interrupts because they always have something more cool to say or show. Thanks for the video! ❤
You are so welcome for the video... And I am so sorry you are have been experiencing that in your group of friends.
Please don't start to doubt yourself because of their actions. What you have to say and think matters and is valuable... even if they can't hear it or be present for it. I absolutely hate it when situations like this sneak into your thinking.... It happens slowly... and then builds and before you know it you think you aren't enough... good enough, smart enough, cool enough, worthy enough... and you start to make yourself small... it happens first with your thoughts and feeling and then it goes into the way you carry yourself and take up space in a room or with your friends or family....
Please don't let their action do this to you... Watch those inner thoughts and voices.... you have power over them they don't have power over you....
And the truth is you are worthy, valuable and significant just because you are you... I know that is a foreign concept but it's true...
You may never even read this comment but I want you to know that I see you and I believe the space you take up at the table of humanity is important... After all no one else in the whole wide would could do it the way that you do...
Here are some other videos that I think might help you fortify your inner voice! I am here if you have questions or need anything... even just to feel seen and heard!
This one is about when other people's actions lead to self-bullying thoughts: th-cam.com/video/FkScb233XD8/w-d-xo.html
This one is all about using your point of reference:
th-cam.com/video/AFeqKJDO9uI/w-d-xo.html
This one is about the power of your mind and thoughts:
th-cam.com/video/AVHNYxBVkVA/w-d-xo.html
@@awakeningtoyourstory Thank you so much for your insight and love. I will use your advice. Stay safe and God bless you.
@@liapotter4369 You are so welcome. I am here if you ever need anything.
@@awakeningtoyourstory Thank you!
I've experienced this pain for almost a year it hurts so much I just wanna cry
How to cope with being left out of your circle: DONT be friends with anyone. Don’t let anyone into your life. Be alone, it’s awesome. All free time to yourself, nobody to call you up to hang out, and bring some girl you’ve never met, and have them leave and make out somewhere, then that friend comes over to you the very next day trying to apologize, and goes straight back to hanging out with others and leaving you out. That’s my solution. Don’t left anyone talk to you, ignore them, hell you should probably even ignore me. if your not friends with anyone, you can’t be left out of anything.
Well, I haven't had a comment like this on here yet. I hear you and see you. I truly get your approach... To rebel, protect, and isolate yourself so you don't feel a particular way because of someone else. If that is what feels good to you, by all means enjoy your experience. Believe it or not I have been where you are.
I would imagine that somewhere in your experiences people have let you down, or even hurt you. That's part of your story now, but that doesn't have to be your story forever.
YOU are the author of your story, you are the main character living it into reality. Do you really want to write your story according to pain someone else caused you? That's giving them way more power over your story then you need to.
I get it, we are not taught to do anything my respond to what is in front of us....but you have more power in your story then that. That's why I am here doing what I do... because no one taught me what I know, I have to search it out, and that search became to story that I wrote, because I wanted more....
This is what I know for sure. Anytime you have to shrink down to feel good, you are out of alignment with your inner being. You came here to this human experience to expand, explore, create, and have fun as you figure it all out.
Be where you are, because you can't be anywhere but there. But I want to advocate for heart and inner being too. I want to open the door to the possibility that you can have it all.... all your dreams, all your heart's longings.... you won't be able to have them over night, that's not how we create... but you have the power to feel same even in the midst of relationships with others. You have the power to create connections with people that are meaningful to you, that feel good to you and create experiences that light up your life.
YOU GET TO WRITE YOUR STORY...
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/n0jbOvefM3U/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/t-nLlGXD6NY/w-d-xo.html
Awakening to Your Story this really made my day. This is inspirational. Powerful words here
@@n00n00n_ I am so glad that the words sparked a sense of truth in you. You are inspirational too! To feel one way, and to then be open enough to read a comment by a stranger and find a yes deep within yourself. All that power is within you! I am here whenever you need some inspiration. Can't wait to see how you decide to write your story!
Awakening to Your Story thank you very much. Nobody has ever said something like this to me!
@@n00n00n_ Just keep reaching for your truth and finding a way to write your story so that you can expand and feel good in your life and I bet you will hear a lot more things like this in your life!
I just left my "friends" and all of a sudden I realised how many new people I hadn't realised were around me with the same interests . The ones who left me out just missed out and they now regret treating me the way they did . The ones who had been ignoring me for so long were just using me as a way to make themselves feel powerful .
It sounds like you found some new people to experience! Remember you get to create the life and friendships that you want! Letting the people who no longer fit, flow out of your life frees up space for new ones that feel better!
when i’m with my friends they leave me like they start laughing talking about things i don’t know and i always go i front or behind them while they have fun
Ugh.... I am so sorry you are having to go through that! Feeling like you are missing out on the laughs and joy is terrible. I can imagine that being the one in the back while they have fun, feeling like you might not be important or valuable enough to be up front laughing with them... is hard.
Keep in mind that it's all about your point of reference... If "they" are your point of reference or focus then sure... you are behind them. BUT if you are your point of reference and YOUR heart is your focus then you it doesn't really have anything to do with who is in front, beside or behind you... There is power right where you are!
I can't make "them" bring you up to the front so that you can laugh with them... no one can.... but I can remind you of some very import truths that will bring you front and center in your own very powerful story!!
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH WHERE YOU ARE OR THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU!!
I don't want self-doubt to creep in because of actions other people are taking or the position you have fallen into in this group. I want you to know and believe in your worth and value.... your power as the main character of your story!
REMEMBER: YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR "FRIENDS"!!!!!
YOUR WORTHINESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH: WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, IF THEY INVITE YOU PLACES OR INCLUDE YOU, ANY OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES (GOOD OR BAD), WHAT YOU HAVE OR HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED, WHAT POSITION YOU HAVE IN YOUR CIRCLE OF FRIENDS, WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, HOW POPULAR YOU ARE, YOUR AGE - EXPERIENCES - GENDER - RELIGION - RACE - ORIGINATION - WEALTH OR STATUS!!!
YOUR WORTH COMES JUST BY BEING YOU... A COMPLETELY UNIQUE BEING... YOU ARE YOUR OWN POINT OF REFERENCE!!! I want you to really get this....Your worthiness doesn't come from them or whether you are in front or behind. YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND VALUABLE JUST AS YOU ARE....
I hope this love note helps you walk with joy right where you are.... not focused on them but focused on YOU!
Does that make sense to you? Let me know..... I am here to help and remind you of all that you are!
Here are some other video that will help too:
These two are about feeling invisible in your friends group and how to move through it (I actually made it in response to all the comments I got on this video):
th-cam.com/video/hCY3TztTnZQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/T6mVDlRT-ao/w-d-xo.html
This one is about how to get the love you want.... even in friendships:
th-cam.com/video/jzFcA5npgNM/w-d-xo.html
This on is about taking conditions of your worth:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
These two are about how to feel like you are enough:
th-cam.com/video/Z992-pgZEsk/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/PBsPV7SKxCM/w-d-xo.html
Most important these are about owning your worth and value:
th-cam.com/video/hCY3TztTnZQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/T6mVDlRT-ao/w-d-xo.html
Ok.... that's probably a lot to read and proccess.... I just want you to know that no matter happens you are seen & supported here. Let me know if you have any questions or need any help along the way! Sending lots of love your way!!
Awakening to Your Story i read every single bit and i appreciate it so so so much❤️❤️ thank you and i appreciate it❤️you honestly made my day!!!
@@azucnii8812 I am so glad! Just keep your value and worth in the front of your thinking... and try really hard not to let any circumstance convince you otherwise! I am here if you need anything! Sending more love and joy your way!!!
Everyone is talking about how they feel left out from a group of friends... but I feel left out from my family.
What a terrible feeling... I know because I have been there. In many different times in my life, and through many different kinds of family dynamics.... I am so sorry that you feel left out in the place that is suppose to feel the most connected.
Often when I reply to comments on my videos there isn't much of a dialog back and forth.... I witness what the person is feeling, I share insight and encouragement and then that's it. Every once and a while there is someone who is as invested in my reply as I am in theirs. They take with them, a little hope, something that stuck out to them that they can apply to their life, and the belief that someone truly cares about what is going on in their life.
There are so many things I want to type out in this comment to help you.... If I have to narrow it down to one.... I want you to know that no matter what is going on within the dynamics of your family, you are the author of your story and the main character who lives it all into existence.
Your family members are not the main character of your story. They are now and will continue to be the supporting cast.... designed to provide you with information and experiences that will help you determine who you want to be, and what you want to create with your life. You do not have to become a version of yourself that is less then what you want to be, simply because of the way they are.
You have the power to create your own feelings rather then just feel according to the circumstance in front of you. I know this is a very different way of thinking. It's called deliberate creation, and it is a very powerful tool I wish I had picked up earlier in my life. You can deliberately create the feelings you want despite the environment you are in.
But this means you have to know how you want to feel and who you want to be as you feel those feelings. The funny thing is moments like these, where you feel left out, those are the moments designed to help you decide how you want to feel. Your family is helping you figure out what you want and how you want to feel.
So tell me... how do you want to feel?
I am here if you have questions, to listen, or if you need some moral support along the way. I believe in the value of your story. After all you are the only you this world is ever going to know...
Here are a couple new videos that might just help you understand how to create what you want... again, let me know if you have any questions.
th-cam.com/video/AsKUurJygGE/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/KOnr88kifRU/w-d-xo.html
Don't worry, you're not the only one
Dat happens all the time, family's can b the worst at times, sometimes one or 2 pals can b better 😊
I think feeling left out has a lot to do with not being built up, affirmed or praised enough as child. What amazes me is how easy it is to include others. I'm not sure why people have such a hard time doing it.
So much of our present moment challenges are rooted in moments from our childhood. We pick up so much limited inner dialog in those fundamental years. The beauty is being given limitless opportunities to unlearn what doesn't really serve us and put the things we want in its place.
That's part of what I love about putting the things I talk about out there... it's holding a space for the affirmation, praise, and truth about a person fundamental worth and value.... Heart centered solutions that bring you back home to that deep place of belonging within yourself.
People have a hard time being inclusive for a lot of reasons but all of them have to do with somehow being separated from that deep place of belonging within themselves.
I love your insight and am so glad you posted your words and thoughts on this video! I truly hope that more people find that ease of including others that you have found!
@@awakeningtoyourstory Well said.😊❤🙌
@@vernaharris4700 Thank you!!
I feel rly left out by two of my friends. Today at school they asked the teacher if they could go somewhere else to work just the two of them to have it more quite. They didnt even ask me to come with them, it made me kinda sad bc i dont rly have much close friends. I'm pretty sure they think im boring or annoying. I'm not the best at talking to people and i think thats why they think im boring :/
Wow you're still able to go to school, I didn't know that any were open around the world!
Do you think that you are boring or annoying? Even if you aren't the best at chatting with people do you think that makes you boring or annoying?
Here is the thing, you get to choose who you are and how you feel about yourself. When you let other people choose that for you, you hand over your own power of being.
When you find yourself in situations with other people, that leave you feeling left out your perspective and focus is on them rather then your own heart and story.
You are the author and main character of the story of your life. Which means you have the power to make it whatever you want it to be.
YOU are an incredible human being. I know this because there is no one else like you in the whole world. Only you have the power to change how you feel about yourself and in your life.
If you use experiences like this to listen to your own heart you will find it is trying to tell you something very important. To do this you have to take the people who hurt you out of the equation and shift your focus to your own heart.
Try this:
1) Ask yourself what it is you feel left out of. You may find that you feel left out of the connection, the conversation, the joy and enjoyment of being with other people as you work on schoolwork.
2) Turn that "left out" into "want" and you find something like... I want feel the connection, the conversation, the joy and enjoyment of being with other people as you work on schoolwork.
3) Now let yourself daydream about it. Feel all the feelings right now. Journal about it and let those feeling take over in your mind.
Here are two episodes designed to help you do this very thing:
Watch this one 1st - th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
Then this one- th-cam.com/video/DdGjDpRaWb8/w-d-xo.html
I know you may feel left out… but that is a feeling you have the power to change and it has very little to do with anyone else but you! I believe in your power to create what you want in your life! I am here if you have any questions, so keep me posted!
For some reason, whenever I m with a group of friends or with 2 friends, I always feel left out and uncomfortable because most of the conversations that they talk about, it seems like I have never even heard about it at all and that I never knew at all. Like, my friends know about most of the conversations that they talk about but I don’t at all. That is when I usually felt left out. I wish I knew everything that they were talking about so then I don’t have to feel so bad and left out. 😢😢💔🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️😒I have watched this video and it has helped me A LOT!! THANK U SO MUCH!!
I am so glad the video helped! You are so very welcome!
I don't want you to feel left out either! I tell you what here are some other videos that people have been finding helpful around this very topic!
These two are about feeling invisible in your friends group and how to move through it (I actually made it in response to all the comments I got on this video):
th-cam.com/video/hCY3TztTnZQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/T6mVDlRT-ao/w-d-xo.html
This on is about taking conditions of your worth:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
This one is about how to get the love you want.... even in friendships:
th-cam.com/video/jzFcA5npgNM/w-d-xo.html
These two are about how to feel like you are enough:
th-cam.com/video/Z992-pgZEsk/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/PBsPV7SKxCM/w-d-xo.html
Most important these are about owning your worth and value:
th-cam.com/video/hCY3TztTnZQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/T6mVDlRT-ao/w-d-xo.html
Sending you so much love your way!!!
I felt really left out by my two best friend sometimes. I know they love me and i love them too. But they only tell each other their problems, frustration, and they rant to each other but dun rant to me. We have a grpchat together but they msg a lot more in their own private chat. I know they love me but i just can't help but feel left out. Pls help me... i just want to help or just lend a ear to them, but i can't, i don't even know what are their problems and the reasons for ranting... i don't want to tell them because i don't want to stress them or make them feel hurt or mad as now is exam period
I am so sorry you are going through this. Know that you are not alone and I am happy to be here to show you what I know. I know it can be really hard to feel connected and included when the situation if your life seems to make you feel or tell you that you are left out. But here is the thing; no matter what the people around you are doing you can’t allow them to be your heart’s point of reference. Try not to let anyone else determine your beliefs for you. When these “friend” leave you out and then you walk away feeling left out, you are letting them write your story for you. They are creating limiting beliefs that say you are left out. They are determining your feelings and that just feels terrible because it goes against your essential truth that says you are connected.
It is very human to react to other people, trust me we all do it, but it is not the only option. Like I said in the video you have the power to change your emotions and create ownership for your truth rather than adopting these other people’s limiting beliefs.
I don’t know if you read one of the answers I gave but we looked at a few really helpful points.
1. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REACTING AND INTERACTING - While reacting can be valuable in times where safety is an issue, interacting is always a better option. When you just get curious and interact with the situation you are in, you allow it to help you get what your heart really wants. As you interact with it know that every situation you are in is designed to help you move beyond the beliefs that limit you from having what you want. This will help make the situation more neutral so that you can put it to use for you.
2. FOCUS - Right now you are focused on these friends. And that is understandable, it seems like what they are doing is causing you suffering. But what if for a moment you just use the situation to illustrate what is happening within your own heart. Stick with me here and you will find some relief and I am here with you until you do! Right now your focus on them has you feeling like you are on outside and the more you focus there, the more you create a belief that is limited. (SIDE NOTE: I work with people everyday who are older than you are and they are working to re-pattern limiting beliefs that they picked up in high school just like you are now. So you are advanced if you are willing to reach out and find solution for this right now. Well Done!) So you have to focus on the place that you have the power to change… Your own heart and beliefs.
LIMITING BELIEFS VS. TRUTH “You being left out” is a limiting belief that you are slowly adopting. You are allowing someone else’s actions to create what you belief rather than looking inside to find your own truth. So if we look at the whole thing as neutral information, then we can use this limiting belief to find your truth. (Essential truth is the divine truths that your divinity wove into your humanity) The limiting belief says “I am left and I can’t have what” so now you have to find the truth beyond the limitation. “My heart is the center of my own story. I am connected, and I can have what my heart desires.” Now once you find these truth you have to work to re-pattern your thinking and look for them to be reflected to you out in the world. Do you see and feel how powerful this is for you. When you can own your ability to feel connection without conditions on how others act you deliberately are creating your desires.
HOLDING SPACE FOR WHAT YOU WANT - Connection you are dreaming of with these friends may not happen, but you most certainly can feel connected no matter what. And get this, the more you hold your truth as your focus, the more you create room for these connected relationships to come into your life. You may start to see all sorts of new people and opportunities to be connected with other people.
EXERCISES- How do you want to feel? You have to know that better than you know these feelings of being left out! So once you know how you want to feel, you have to feel that way no matter what. Even if you are only incrementally reaching for those new feelings you have to keep them in the forefront of your mind. When you use everything as information to help you, then this challenging situation with these friends becomes an exercise for you to own your truth. Anytime you have a thought about being on the outside… you reach for a thought more aligned with how you want to feel and your own truth instead. You are then actively building up space for your truth in your mind and heart!
When you add this to what is in the video you are setting yourself up to succeed in relationships.
What can you take away from this to make your own.
I think the best action is to just pull away. Cutting and running will just bring more embarrassment and awkwardness. Find friends that don't do this. I don't think explaining yourself will help, and if they are toxic friends, they might enjoy that anyway. What ever you offered to that group, is showing you that they are not worthy of receiving the good you offer. Just pull away.
It sounds like you are speaking from experience.
And you are right toxic people are not the kinds of people you want as friends... for so many reasons.
Letting go of toxic people in your life makes room for people and relationships that have the potential to feel so much better.
I just started high school this year. I was so excited to find friends to hang out with and have fun with. I have severe anxiety, so it takes a lot of time for me to really come out of my shell and show my true personality. I'm scared to facetime them and ask them to hang out because I know it will be awkward and uncomfortable for me. Whenever I do ask, they always say they will get back to me and let me know if they are free to hang out, and they never answer me, and then go ahead and make other plans without me. I've just been overseeing everyone of my friends find their close friends and hang out with each other and i'm never invited to anything. They have talked about hanging out and making plans right in front of me and don't include me. I don't think they realize that that could hurt other people. One of the girls i'm friends with, I've noticed that she really likes to let people know that she is friends with someone and she posts all over social media when shes on facetime with someone or when she is with someone. I know she also has anxiety because we have talked about it before, so maybe that's where that is coming from? Maybe she just wants to let people know that she is cool enough to hang out with so many people? It just makes me feel super left out. There have been multiple events where I break down about it and I just really want to be friends with them. My mom try's to tell me that I should stop setting myself up to get hurt and I should distance myself. But I want to grow the friendships, and in order to do that you have to hang out with them, right? Don't get me wrong, they are all super nice to me, I just don't think they realize that they make me feel left out when they do stuff like this. If you made it to this point in reading, thank you for reading lol :)
I read every last word! haha... That's why I do these videos and I just want to say that I am glad you reached out... anxiety and all you put it all out there and asked for help and to be seen and I want you to know that I see you...
You are doing a really good job of being you... know I know that may sound silly but it's so true. You are bing solution oriented... searching for ways to make yourself feel better and to figure out what to do next and all of that tells me you are doing a really good job!
I get where you mom is coming from... Not setting yourself up to get hurt is a really good lesson to learn in life, but understanding what that means is even more important.
We get hurt when we expect someone to do or act a particular way and they don't.... Here is the thing tricky thing people don't alway talk about... Each person has a capacity of heart... it's the capacity they have to deal with themselves and the world around them....
Often our expectations don't match up with their capacity. You may set your hopes and expectations that they will interact with you in a particular way and then they don't (because for whatever reason their capacity won't allow it) and then you feel hurt.
I did a video on Wednesday where we talked about this...It's about what to do when someone treats you badly:
th-cam.com/video/KogiOAkysa0/w-d-xo.html
Watch it and see what you make of how it fits into your
interactions with this group.
But more then anything I want to remind you that no matter what has happened with this group of friends or what will happen with them in the future... none of it determines your worth, value, ability to be loved or seen for who you are....
I know first hand that anxiety can chip away at your self-worth and situations like this can pull your mind in the direction of self-doubt.....
So as a reminder....
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR "FRIENDS"
YOUR WORTHINESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH: WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, IF THEY INVITE YOU PLACES OR INCLUDE YOU IN CONVERSATIONS, ANY OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES (GOOD OR BAD), WHAT YOU HAVE OR HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED, WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, HOW POPULAR YOU ARE, YOUR AGE - EXPERIENCES - GENDER - RELIGION - RACE - ORIGINATION - WEALTH OR STATUS!
YOUR WORTH COMES JUST BY BEING YOU... A COMPLETELY UNIQUE BEING... No one has been more ever will be like you again.... and I just wanted you to remember all of this when those negative thoughts creep in....
also I think that some optimism practices might really help you....
th-cam.com/video/vef-TH1UVps/w-d-xo.html
Watch this one and let me know if anything jumps out at you....
I am always here if you have any questions or need help or someone to cheer you on.... Please feel free to write anytime! Sending you soooo much love your way!
Yesterday my friends and other fellow classmates had a meet up party.. I was eagerly waiting for such a gathering for a long time . But I surprisingly realized that I wasn't even invited to the same.. I came to know about this only after few of them shared pictures on their social media.. I literally burst into tears.I messaged few of my friends who were absent in the pictures to know whether they knew abt such a thing.. And from them I came to know that they were planning for this since a long time and even created whatsapp group to share the details.. I really couldn't figure out what's wrong in me that made them not to let me know abt this at least. I really feel myself useless and boring.. 😣😣
Ugh... I am so sorry that happened to you. People can be really freaking disappointing....and unfortunately that is part of this messiness of being human....
BUT you always have a choice....you get to choose how you internalize that disappointment... who you want to be on the other side of it and how you want to show up in your life.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! That's why you can't figure it out!
Listen... Please, please, please, don't let this situation or dynamic make you start doubting yourself.... If they continue to leave you out of things then maybe they aren't your "people" and that's ok.... because your "people" will show up in your life.
Focused on being the best version of yourself and they will be drawn to that light within you.
I really wish I could be like a fairy godmother and wave a magic wand and put you in the middle of the perfect friend group that would truly see you and appreciate you...
But since I can't do that... I will be like the Aunty who love and cares about you and offers you some heart centered wisdom, cheers you on and wraps your heart in a big hug with my words....
First... remember that friendship groups are valuable but they are second to making sure that you are taking care of yourself. Physically, emotionally and mentally.
So let me remind you....
When your focus is on them and you find yourself always outside of the things they are doing.... it doesn't feel good (why would it) all of that is your inner guidance is trying to tell you that your focus is off track.
When your focus is out there on them (and that them could be any different group) you start to pick up sneaky thoughts like... I must not be good enough, they must think something is wrong with me, maybe there is something wrong with me, I am never going to be included, I am not really part of the team.... Ugh... those thoughts only lead to you feeling more negative.
How could you not be affected by those kinds of thoughts...
So I want you to try this:
Focus where you have power. YOUR OWN HEART AND STORY. Think of your life as a movie or story. You are designed to be the main character of your story. And guess what you are the one writing it all into existence. You can't change them or make them show up in the way you want them to, but you have the power do decide who you want to be in response to how they are showing up. Remember don't let them accidentally become the main characters of your story by wishing yourself into their wold.
You have the power to shift and change your story one thought and feeling at a time. Once you figure out who you want to be you can start to shift your thought and feeling to be more aligned with where you want to go.
I know that sounds simple but it's really powerful... Figure out who you want to be and feel your way back into the power of being the main character and author of your story and then walk into the room as the main character... The outside world with start to shift to meet you where your thoughts and feelings are...
Does that make sense?
I know you are worthy of way more then scraps other people offer you...
YOU ARE Unique, valuable, significant and worthy just as you are!
Let me know if you have questions I am here to help where I can! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to your comment!
Here are some other videos I think will help you focus on your own heart and story!
This one is about your mindset!
th-cam.com/video/04glls5LnYM/w-d-xo.html
This one is about when other people's actions lead to self bullying thoughts.
th-cam.com/video/FkScb233XD8/w-d-xo.html
This one is a direct response to all the comments I got on this video
th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
This one will help you shift your focus back to your own heart.
th-cam.com/video/ulWM2M5RRjU/w-d-xo.html
There are so many more that I think would be good... but start with that and let me know how you are feeling!
Sending tons of love your way!
Aww.. Thank you so much ma'am.No one in my life except my sister have never boosted me like this but I badly wanted to. You made my day. Thank you again🥰
@@nehasuresh4018 Of course! I am here in your corner! So if you ever need a little boost you just write in and let me know what is going on in your life!
I need your help please my best friend is like she loves me one second like she hates me the other second. I feel like my best friend doesn't really care about me, she does sometimes but like there's another girl like she gets closer to her and stuff and like am always left out and I hate that girl alottttt and when i tell her that I feel left out she like gets really mad. we told each other a little secrets and she has a crush on somebody and I got really excited about it. Then today I told her my crush when we were walking home from school she just ignored me and she frowned and just went and hangout with her other friends I got really mad it's hard you know I left my ex best friend for her just to be with her I've been through a lot since I'm with her I really need your help
Angel Century bro.same it’s like when she only as me to talk to I’m her best friend but when there is other people around she doesn’t care about me and makes me feel like I’m annoying or weird
I am so sorry you are going through this Angel. I have been there, and I would venture to say that everyone who has viewed this video has been there too. I want to tell you a secret that I wish someone had told be when I was were you are.... YOUR HAPPINESS AND ABILITY TO FEEL GOOD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. No really.... Everybody thinks feeling good and included comes from other people making you feel that way but that not actually how it works. Oh, sure you can absolutely feel good while you are interacting with other people, but it all started within you! Now the average person wont actually take this advice... Only someone who is ready to move past the rollercoaster of feeling left out will try this. My advise is to stop making it about them. Them being whoever is wronging you. I know the gut reaction is to dive into their wrongness and think about it over and over again and tell other people about it.... But the person who is ready to be free... they will take a moment to notice what they are feeling then say "NO, I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE MY PERSONAL POWER AND ABILITY TO FEEL CONNECTED OVER TO YOU." "I left my other friend for you and that was a bad on my part, because true friendship is inclusive not exclusive." Then you have to fill your time and mind with things that bring you joy. When your mind and time are filled with the things that tickle your heart, your people (the ones who will be with you in the good and bad) they will find you!!!
@@isabellarebolloso1875 this is what I wrote to Angel... I think you should read it too!
I am so sorry you are going through this Angel. I have been there, and I would venture to say that everyone who has viewed this video has been there too. I want to tell you a secret that I wish someone had told be when I was were you are.... YOUR HAPPINESS AND ABILITY TO FEEL GOOD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. No really.... Everybody thinks feeling good and included comes from other people making you feel that way but that not actually how it works. Oh, sure you can absolutely feel good while you are interacting with other people, but it all started within you! Now the average person wont actually take this advice... Only someone who is ready to move past the rollercoaster of feeling left out will try this. My advise is to stop making it about them. Them being whoever is wronging you. I know the gut reaction is to dive into their wrongness and think about it over and over again and tell other people about it.... But the person who is ready to be free... they will take a moment to notice what they are feeling then say "NO, I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE MY PERSONAL POWER AND ABILITY TO FEEL CONNECTED OVER TO YOU." "I left my other friend for you and that was a bad on my part, because true friendship is inclusive not exclusive." Then you have to fill your time and mind with things that bring you joy. When your mind and time are filled with the things that tickle your heart, your people (the ones who will be with you in the good and bad) they will find you!!!
Omg same with me
Hello i know i dont know much about the person youre talking about but ive been there and encountered people like that as well
From my experience and point of view, all i can say is i think that maybe what you have is a fake friend. I suggest you find those whom you feel good with and you feel the genuineness of that person. I hope this somehow helped you in the situation u are in 😊
I have 3 best friends and there starting to ignore me and I feel so left out I try to tell them to stop and they don't even care... I start talking about stuff we used to talk about and they completely reject me and say "nobody asked." It makes me feel like they don't care about my thoughts like they used to. I want to never talk to them again but the pain of losing my only friends come back and hits me on the back. I don't want to lose them but there starting to act different and it makes me feel like i'm no one. I just don't know what to do and this stuff happens daily.
Ok, I know this moment and experience it hard, but I believe in you and your ability to create amazing things in your life. I would say the first thing to do is to stop focusing on them... I know this is a lot to ask... "they" are making you feel a certain way... like you are no one, "they" are saying mean things to you, "they" are after all the ones leaving you out.
BUT, they are not the main character or the author of your life. YOU ARE! When your focus is on them you are allowing them to write your story for you, they become the main characters who are more valuable then you are. This is always going to feel bad because it is not how you were designed to be.
If you don't want to loose them, then you better find yourself. And by that I mean stop looking to them to fill parts of your heart that you are meant to fill. Stop looking at them to validate you because that validation was always suppose to come from within. Stop asking them to prove that you are worthy and lovable, because you MUST know YOUR WORTH and YOUR LOVABILITY for yourself.
When you do that... you get to create amazing things with your friendships. When you stop asking them to do emotional jobs that were always yours to do, it frees up the whole experience.
Now I know this is some advance thinking and a very different kind of perspective... BUT I KNOW YOU ARE WORTH IT!
I know how valuable you are, how worthy you are and how freaking amazing you are. I know this because you are the only you this world is ever going to know. What you do with your life, your feelings, and your thoughts matter.
Please let me know if you have questions... You've got this!
Here are a couple other videos that might just help shift your perspective:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/CggBtitcjCo/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/jzFcA5npgNM/w-d-xo.html
Can we be friends? 🥺
I havent had friends ever since my last one moved out this year. Whenever I try to join a conversation nobody cares about what I say and they keep the conversation going as if they never heard me, so I just stay quiet. It hurts to know that your opinion doesnt matter to anyone but yourself.
I does hurt when you aren't feeling heard or valued by the people around you.... I absolutely get that. And I would imagine that it feels insulting that people would just talk over you... like you're invisible... Which you are not!
If these people are acting like that then they are NOT your people....
So please... I beg of you... don't take the weight of their crappy actions on as your own... This is what I mean by taking the weight on as your own...
It feels emotionally heavy to think that you are not worthy or valuable. It feels that way because it is 100% not true. That weight... or the heavy, sad feeling is an indicator that you are taking on something that doesn't belong to you.
If you take their actions and get quiet and start to shrink down... even start believe that your opinion doesn't matter... you are letting them determine who you are and what you believe about yourself. I don't wan't this situation to create a voice of self-doubt in your head...
Your voice and opinion matter... maybe not to them right now... but they do to you and to the right people...
I want to remind you that you are worthy, valuable and significant... just as you are. When you focus there... on your own heart and story, your right people will show up.
ok... here are some other videos that I think will help you not only feel better but actively create space for your people to come into your life.
This one I did this last Wed. and it was great! It's about what to do when you aren't getting the love that you want... even in friendships:
th-cam.com/video/mhp1qq-1eDQ/w-d-xo.html
This one is about what to do when someone treats you badly... it will give you some good perspectives:
th-cam.com/video/KogiOAkysa0/w-d-xo.html
This one is about staying optimistic and that can be a game changer:
th-cam.com/video/vef-TH1UVps/w-d-xo.html
And this one is about how to bring the right kind of people into your life:
th-cam.com/video/CggBtitcjCo/w-d-xo.html
Ok... I know that is kind of a lot... I just want you to know and feel that you are being seen and heard and valued... just for being you... I am here if you have any questions... Keep me posted on how it is all going... I am cheering you on!
@@awakeningtoyourstorythis is the first time that I’m seeing one of your videos. I am thoroughly impressed by the time you take to interact with viewers. Definitely earned my attention…
I feel left out. My bestfriend and I always used to hang out and text and do all this fun stuff, until this other girl came in. we're apl friends. But I feel like she changed my bestfriend. I know it might sound selfish but I feel like she took the person that I thought would be there with me forever, and turned her to her own bestfriend. I feel sad and they always hang out without me or they don't invite me. I sometimes feel like they both hate me. Sometimes when the other person leaves my bestfriend (im going to day bsf now) she turns everything around, she doesn't want to get out of bed doesn't want to talk to me, etc. Us three wanted to go to the beach together we all agreed and we all knew we were going sometime this week, but she jusf posted a story with her and the other girl in the beach, I didnt even kniw they were there. I don't know how to think about it but it makes me feel very very sad. (Im sorry for my grammar, and I'm sorry this is messy.)
Don't you worry about your grammar or messiness.... I would never hold that against you and besides that you conveyed your situation very well. I only wish you didn't feel so very very sad...
I will say that the evaluation of friendships are tricky... especially when there are more then just two people involved. The thing that always gets me thought is making sure I am focusing my attention in the right place. So rather then focusing on them and how wrong they are and how left out you feel by their actions..... you focus on your own heart and what it is trying to tell you.
This is a perspective shift that most people miss out on but it si very powerful. Now only you can know what your heart is trying to tell you, but if I were to guess I would say it's trying to tell you that you are worthy of much more then this situation. I would guess that your heart is saying this situation feel so wrong because the love you are meant to experience is designed to be inclusive, joy-filled, and a value add to your life.
I want you to keep something in mind:
YOUR WORTH, VALUE, AND ABILITY TO BE LOVED IS NOT DETERMINED BY YOUR EXPERIENCES!
No matter what kind of situation may come up... between these two friends or anyone.... you are worthy, valuable and so very lovable!
The tendency is to let your experiences dictate how you feel about yourself. If things are going well you feel good about yourself. Then when things are going not-so-well you start to feel bad, second guess yourself and feel small.... When that happens you might start believe your not as worthy as other people... When your worth has nothing to do with your situation!
Try to keep your focus on your heart and let it tell you what it is you really want....
If you feel up to it I have gathered up a few other videos that might help you. Because even if these two are leaving you out... you have the power to feel good about your own heart and story no matter what choices they make.
This one is about taking conditions off your worth:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
This one is about bringing the right kind of people into your life:
th-cam.com/video/CggBtitcjCo/w-d-xo.html
This one is about getting the love that you want... including the love in friendships:
th-cam.com/video/jzFcA5npgNM/w-d-xo.html
These two videos go together and will help you own that you really do belong:
th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/DdGjDpRaWb8/w-d-xo.html
These two are about taking back your power when you feel like someone has wronged you in some way:
th-cam.com/video/7fmU2-0RGkk/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/GImZ96xpH2w/w-d-xo.html
Let me know if you have any questions. I am here standing in your corner cheering you on, because I know just how worthy, valuable and lovable you are!!
Well I'm an outcast for no reason, and I don't even have friends so this is nice...
My nightmare is group work, nobody wants to go with me and when the teacher knows, she forced them to make me join and their faces was in disgust, so I don't even have friends all I can do is sit home.
Well all of this sounds terrible. I am sorry you are having to carry around the emotional weight of this whole inner dynamic.
SO, let me tell you all of the things you are not hearing...
I don't care what life experiences have shown you so far, I don't care what kind of faces people have made at you... YOU ARE VALUABLE!
It sounds like you have been spending too much time seeing yourself through other people's eyes. STOP THAT PLEASE.
It is time to shift your your focus on your own heart and story. You are the only you this world is ever going to know. Do you get how freaking miraculous you are. I know life is messy but you have to come back to your own heart.
You have to move through that messiness and find your way back to your truth. Your essential truth that your divinity wove right into your humanity. You are worthy... no matter what. You are valuable... just as you are. You are lovable because you are LOVE.
I know these might just feel like word on your screen, but they hold power when you active them with your unique humanity.
People can be offal. They move through their own pain, limitation and insecurities and hand it off to other people because that all they can muster in a given moment. That's why you can't rest your worth and value on others. Nor can you keep focusing on what they think of feel about you and then take ownership for it.
You are the writer of your story... you are also the main character who lives it all into reality. Try really hard to notice when you are letting "them" write what kind of character you are. You have the power to choose who you are and how you want to live your life.
Remember you have a very valuable place at the table of humanity. It is one that only you can fill so take a deeper ownership for it!
I am here if you need more help along the way or if you have specific questions to shift your situation.
You can also try watching these:
This one is about being a victim in your own life.
th-cam.com/video/n0jbOvefM3U/w-d-xo.html
This one is about self sabotage:
th-cam.com/video/hCssauo0KWg/w-d-xo.html
This one is about your worth:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
This one is about bring the right kind of people into your life:
th-cam.com/video/CggBtitcjCo/w-d-xo.html
I feel like maybe you should make yourself an amazing member, a good addition who does work and is valuable. Ofc don’t do all the work, but make yourself look good! Hope you feel better ❤️
How I get left out is that I have to walk behind them :(
It is all about point of reference. When you are focused on them yes it seams that you are behind them... but when you focus on your heart and story as your point of reference then you get to focus on all the amazing things happening right where you are walking.
I'm doing that right they are just talking to each other while I'm just walking behind them
I feel left out of my best friend group it’s the 3 of us well before it was the two of us and her name was Allison and we were friends for a long time then I invited Poletd to our best friend group but since then Poletd has always been with Allison and me left out. Yes we all talk together and hang out put I think Poletd trusts Allison more than me but the sad thing is I was the one who brought them together 😔
I understand what you saying. I get it, and actually I have been there before too. It's hard when you feel like you are loosing the sense of closeness you once had.
Now if you go back and read any of the replies I have left for other people you will see a few common themes. One is you are the main character of your life's story and you are the writer who makes it all happen, one thought at a time. Another is where you focus your attention, your thoughts, and your feelings is where you will always find yourself.
You can continue to feel the way that you do, with small glimpses of "it being ok" when they give you the attention that allows you to feel better. OR You can use the situation in front of you to figure out what you feel like you need from them. When you do that, you find the gaps in your beliefs system about yourself. When you find those gaps and and readjust your thinking and feeling around them for yourself, you will find that the world around you will start to feel so much better.
So how do you do that? Well start by thinking about what being close to them offers you. What do you feel like is missing from you when they aren't acting they way you want them to? Are you questioning your worth or value? Are you comparing yourself to others?
As an example let's just say that as you get curious about the situation you keep thinking..."They like each other more then me." Ouch that thought doesn't feel so good, right. Ok, here is why. The thought, "They like each other more then me" has you (the author and main character of your story) focused on them (two people whose story you have now control over). And the author of your story is looking at them and saying they must be better then you... they must be more worthy then you.... SO STOP LOOKING AT THEM AND WRITING YOUR STORY ACCORDING TO WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE!
Now this is some advanced thinking I am sharing with you. But I know you can shift you focus and find that inner strength. When you stop looking at them as your point of reference and you start looking inside your own story things ease up, because you are looking in a place that you have power to change.
When you recognize your worth and value, and you own it no matter what... your world and experiences will change! And get this, even if they are not as connected, you will still feel good for you!
Ok, I have given you a lot to think about. Let me know if you have any questions. I have also added these videos that might help:
th-cam.com/video/LqZZ9QMrTC8/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/t-nLlGXD6NY/w-d-xo.html
Same
I’ve been feeling really left out by my friends recently. I am in a big group and a lot of the time we go out in smaller groups but I am rarely invited out by anyone, and when I ask if someone in my friend group is free most of the time they say no, and then that very day I see them out together somewhere. This very thing happened today but I don’t want to confront them because I feel like they might have just planned to go out before I asked if they were free. It would have been nice to be invited though:(
Hey I totally get it. Friendship dynamic can be hard especially if there are a lot of people involved. And while it would have been nice to be invited I just want to take this moment in the dynamic to remind you of a few things...
First thing is that no matter what is going on in your life... no mater how your "friends" are treating you... you are worthy, valuable, and significant. This one is important because sometimes we let the actions of others sneak into our thinking and create doubt about ourselves.... that doubt can lead to thoughts that feel like bulling... but it's the worst kind... self-builling. So make sure you are watching your thoughts and feeling and seeing the self doubt for what it is.
Second people will disappoint you in your life.... that is part of this messiness of being human.... BUT you always have a choice....you get to choose how you internalize that disappointment... who you want to be on the other side of it and how you want to show up in your life.
Try not to focus on them too much at all... I know your mind will want to go there to prove all sorts of things and make them a point of reference for the disappointment.... but that only keeps you linked to all that negativity.... Choose to focus on you and your heart and story.... that is where you have power to create!
Choose to see what working in your life... choose to focus on what does feel good... choose to work on building up your connection to your worthiness and value that are woven into your unique being...
Third is the old saying that where you focus your attention is where you find yourself. So here are some video to help you focus on your own heart!
This one was a direct response to all of the comments I got on this video:
th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
This one is about understanding what your emotional heart is doing behind the scenes. It's kind of advanced but I think it might help you see what is really going on in your heart.
th-cam.com/video/HupjPrd76fQ/w-d-xo.html
This one is about practicing selfcare and love:
th-cam.com/video/pkM-g2Twqk4/w-d-xo.html
This one is about fostering optimism and helps you focus on your story :
th-cam.com/video/vef-TH1UVps/w-d-xo.html
OK... I am here if you need help, have any questions or just need someone to see you and hear you. YOU are not alone... so keep me posted on how things are going!!
@@awakeningtoyourstory thankyou so much! I’ll make sure to watch the videos💗
@@daisydrummond6746 of course you are so welcome! Keep me posted on how things are going and how you are feeling!
I’ve felt welcomed by a few friends in a certain circle but I feel like they’re all in their own circle that I’m not apart of.
I’ve been trying to be enough of myself and try and build up some relationships with the people in this group, but it feels like it doesn’t matter how much I try to build, I feel like I’m the only one trying to make friends and be patient, but it feels like this patience and time isn’t doing anything
I feel invisible despite trying to make conversation, I dunno what to do, I’ve lost myself a couple of times and forget to worry about me too :(
Well I think you are doing a good job... Life and interpersonal dynamics are hard to navigate.... It seems like you are trying to be conscious about it and that is a big deal! So let's take a moment and celebrate that ok...
Now the loosing yourself part happens... it's what you do after that matters.... I like to think of this as checking your Point Of Reference. When you use your POR as an emotional tool if can help you come home to yourself a little bit more easily.
Here is the video for that Emotional Tool:
th-cam.com/users/liveAFeqKJDO9uI?feature=share
I think it will really help you build up your emotional capacity or strength to come back to yourself despite what is going on with other people around you.
I also want to give you this video about when other people's actions lead to self bullying thoughts: th-cam.com/users/liveFkScb233XD8?feature=share
And this video about using your inner dialog as an emotional tool:
th-cam.com/users/liveSKpY3t2J49A?feature=share
I also want to make sure that you know... Which you probably do but I want to say it anyway.... your worthiness, significance, and value are unconditional to you.... I say that because it can feel like if someone isn't treating you the way you want to be treated it must have something negative to do with you... but that just isn't so... so don't let their actions chip away at what you think about yourself.... You are not alone.... I am here a comment away... ask me questions if you have them... keep me posted on how things are going.... I am here to help!!
they're currently celebrating new years together while I'm home all alone, didn't bother to even ask and they knew i had no plans... even posted on their ig stories that they're together. I legit feel like crying, idk how to find new friends, everyone already has their own friend group. My family keeps asking me why I'm at home and I have to make up lies. Last week they didn't even give me a drive back home when i literally live 3 minutes away. I feel like they don't even like me but i have no one else to go to...
I am so sorry... And I can't believe it took me 4 days to get to your comment....
I want you to know that I see you and that you are not alone. I know it feels like a gut punch to have been left out especially of an event like New Years... I hate that you are having to go through this...
I wish I could change them or get some really amazing new friends to effortlessly walk into your life... but I don't have the ability... So instead I want to offer you this idea.... you are not alone. I know I am not your friend of confidant but I am your cheerleader.... and I believe in you.
I also want to say, please, please, please do not let how they are treating you sneak into the way you think about yourself. Weather they know how badly it is making you feel or not, don't let this situation start to determine what YOU think YOU.
There are two ways a situation like this processes through your mind.
One way is for it chip away at what you believe about yourself. You start doubting yourself and before you know it you see yourself the way they see you... as a sideline person to all the fun... and you believe that there is something wrong with you because you are seeing yourself through their eyes.
The second way is dig deeper into your own being and find that inner "hell no thoughts like that don't get to take up residence in my mind" way of thinking. You get to use this experience to help you figure out what you really want in your life and how you want to feel. You keep believing in your fate and living according to that being your reality!
Only you can decide how you want to process this situation for yourself.
Know this.... YOU have the power in your story.... You are the main character of your story! Let that sink in.... You are not a supporting roll and someone else is the main character.... Those "best friends that are leaving you out" they are not the main characters either.... This is your story!!! You are the main character! And get this... you are author who writes it all into existence too.
You are worthy, significant and valuable just as you are. You are also more powerful then you probably feel right now.
It's all about point of reference and where your put your mind and what you choose to think....
And get this... all of that leads to how you feel...
So as you take a breath and shift your focus off of "them" and back onto your heart and your story.... I want you to really think about what you want and how you want to feel moving forward.
Try to reach for thoughts that keep you the main character of your own story.... feeling good about what is possible around the corner.... believing in who you really are.... If you can do that you are going to feel so much better living your life....
And guess what... the kind of people who really see you for all that you are... for the way you see yourself.... they will be around the corner waiting to create with you! And until them and even after I will be cheering you on!
I hope that helps! Just know that you aren't alone. If you have any questions please let me know!
I also wanted to share these other videos because I think they will help!
I think this video will really help you with this particular situation.
It's about negative bias and finding the power of your mind and thoughts.
th-cam.com/video/AVHNYxBVkVA/w-d-xo.html
This one is a direct response to all the comments I got on this video th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
This one is about what to do when you feel like you can't have what you want. th-cam.com/video/mjFiVnblU_c/w-d-xo.html
This one is really good and is about 3 things you can do to foster optimism... huge for being the writer of your own story! th-cam.com/video/vef-TH1UVps/w-d-xo.html
Ok... That was a lot... again I am so sorry it took me 4 days to reply.... I am here if you need anything or have any questions you want to ask....Sending big love your way!
I came to this video because I was dealing with this and wanted something to calm down and this really helped. Even seeing all the other comments made me feel less alone. I also want to say thanks so much for all the replies you’ve given to ppl even if they didn’t respond back or like it I want you to know it’s amazing what you’re doing and greatly appreciated! Your words aren’t taking for granted, thanks! 💕
wow... your comment just made my heart burst... thank you so much for being here with me and for taking the time to write your note... I truly appreciate it. And I want you to know that I am here if you ever have something that feels to hard to figure out on your own... or just if you need to be witnessed or heard and then loved on and supported. I a so glad that your heart lead you here... watch some of the other videos I have too to help you get back into that precious heart space!! Sending all the love your way! 💖
@@awakeningtoyourstory thank you so much and I definitely will, your channel is amazing! And sending you love as well! 💕
@@boinkbonk2 Thank you!! So happy you are here!!!
Today I found out that my two friends are set to plan a trip in 3 years. What's worse is that the trip was supposed to be with me and one other friend. Since the circle broke off because the other friend ignored me and dragged my current friend away from me. Now that we found each other again, I found out that the plans we had they are planing now. I am super sad but I didn't show it. I told her that's actually nice, I hope you will have a good time. Everything was nice but after she left I really started crying because I felt very jealous of that. In the end this is what it is we can't change people.
I am so sorry... I have to say I am very proud of you for owning your feelings and not suppressing them or shrugging them off... That had to feel like a dagger to your heart.... jealousy is a very powerful indicator emotion.
Learning to use those indicator emotions is valuable. Giving language to what you are jealous of can help you find a way to create it for yourself. So I challenge you to think about that... Take them out of the equation and figure out what it is your heart is really longing for....big picture...
You are absolutely right you can't change people...
People will disappoint you in your life.... that is part of this messiness of being human.... BUT you always have a choice....you get to choose how you internalize that disappointment... who you want to be on the other side of it and how you want to show up in your life.
Remember, try not to focus on them too much... as you think about the big picture of the situation try to take them out of the mental equation if your can...
I know your mind will want to go there to prove their wrongness.... but that only keeps you linked to the disappointment.... Choose to focus on you and your heart and story.... that is where you have power to create!
Try not to let this crappy situations linger in your mind... because I don't want you to start to doubt yourself... your worth, value, like-ability, love-ability or even who you really are inside... PLEASE don't allow those outside forces or experience to have that much power over you.
In that spirit here are a list of videos that I think will help you do just that and they will also help you learn about just how powerful your mind and heart really are!
This one was a direct response to all of the comments I got on this video:
th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
This one is about when someone treats you badly:
th-cam.com/video/KogiOAkysa0/w-d-xo.html
This one is about what to do when you aren't getting the love you want... yes even in friendships:
th-cam.com/video/mhp1qq-1eDQ/w-d-xo.html
This one is about turning a bad situation around:
th-cam.com/video/VHmgJVM9hvk/w-d-xo.html
This one is about feeling like you aren't enough:
th-cam.com/video/ulWM2M5RRjU/w-d-xo.html
This one is about practicing optimism
th-cam.com/video/vef-TH1UVps/w-d-xo.html
Start with these and then let me know how you feel and how things are going! And always feel free to comment if you need a little extra support or someone to see you!
Sending you big love your way!!!
I feel left out when my cousin only talks to her boyfriend and not me.
Are you still feeling left out?
Pri Walls I’m her boyfriend lol. Suckeeeeer
I feel like this all the time my friends will do something when I'm there and not care to ask to join so basically I'm just a ghost there or i just feel invisible
Well in the is moment I want you to know that I see you and I understand your challenge.
I also want to say you can't be a ghost in your own story unless you're writing a story about a ghost.
You have the power in your story. The problem is that when you focus on other people you start to hand over that power. When you are reacting to those people (by feeling left out) that leads you to focus more on them (and all the things they are doing without you). You start to blame them for feeling like a ghost. What is the way out of that kind of focus?
Simply put your mind where you feel better. I know it sounds ridiculous... but you change how you feel and how life unfolds before you, ONE THOUGHT AT A TIME.
Find thoughts that feel better.... Like:
I really like it when I feel good.
I feel really good when... (then list them out)
I get excited about... (then list them out)
Then put yourself in the way of as many things that feel good. Not focusing on them but allowing yourself to focusing on you and feeling better one thought at a time. Make your way outside at sunset. Look up in the night sky. Watch some baby animal videos or little kids laughing videos.... Put yourself in the way of the joy of life.
When you do this you become your own person again... that ghost comes back to life. Then see how things start to shift for you. I am here if you need some help along the way.... but just try it. Try watching those negative thoughts and just reach for ones that feel better to you.
Here are a few other videos that might help you shift that focus back to your own heart and story.
th-cam.com/video/LqZZ9QMrTC8/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/k3GOxicUKQs/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/2VWceykjcII/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/27HxPjpI5wY/w-d-xo.html
my 2 best friends always hang out. they always leave me out and don’t even ask me to come with them. they post paragraphs and paragraphs about each other on their snapchat stories and don’t even mention me but say that we are bestfriends forever. they always hang out on weekends, holidays,and go on trips together. they also celebrated one of their birthdays without me and went to top golf and didn’t even care to invite me. they always have these inside jokes and never tells me. whenever i sit at lunch with them they always face each other and talk and leave me out, one of their backs is always to my face. i always check up on them and write them paragraphs but don’t get that kind of love back. but they still say that what we have is forever and us three are bestfriends 4 life.
Wow...that’s EXACTLY what I’m experiencing (except the paragraph writing) but I know how you feel😕 I kinda need someone to talk to...wanna add me on Snapchat? Hope you don’t think this is creepy🙃
Let me ask you a question. Without focusing on these 2 people, how do you want to feel in friendship? You wrote a long note about how wrong they are being and I want you to know that I hear you, but I also want you to know that I believe you are worthy of having what you desire. The trick is you have to focus more on the desire then on the wrongness of other. So if you are up for the challenge, write me back with how you want to feel in your friendships. Get into it and allow yourself to really express your desire.
Daniela I give you the same challenge Kyleigh. Write to me and tell me how you want to feel in your friendships. Try not to focus on the other people, but focus on your own experience.
When theres 3....
Always one of them had to be left out
As someone who is 1 of 3 sisters I totally get what you are saying. I have also been 1 of 3 in friendship dynamics too. I will say that when you aren't attached to things playing out a particular way... or worried about being left out but feel secure within yourself those dynamics of 3 can also be really fun!
@@awakeningtoyourstory ITS nor fun being left out in conversations and 2 partnered groups one of them is mean and the other one is noce to her
@@Cameron-yi1dh It is NEVER fun being left out. And the thoughts and feelings that usually follow after that can make it even worse... like you have to replay it over and over again... It sounds like you are in a complicated dynamic that isn't giving you what you want.
I just don't want you to think that because this group of three isn't working, that you couldn't be part of a group of three that does work.
I am sorry you are going through that...
I'm not sure what all the detail are with the people leaving you out but I want you to know that I see you and I am here if you ever feel like you need to he heard.... Wish I could give you a big hug but my words will have to do... Don't let what they are doing or how they are acting make you forget just how amazing you are... how worthy, significant and valuable you are....
I think these other videos will help you process the situation from a heart centered place... where you have a lot of power....
When You Aren't Getting The Love You Want (EVEN IN FRIENDSHIPS):
th-cam.com/video/mhp1qq-1eDQ/w-d-xo.html
What To Do When People Treat You Badly
th-cam.com/video/KogiOAkysa0/w-d-xo.html
Feeling Like You Don't Belong In A Group:
th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
Dealing With Toxic Relationships:
th-cam.com/video/-AryW1gGkmI/w-d-xo.html
Ok... here to listen and help xoxo- Alicia
@@awakeningtoyourstory I have adhd and bipolar 1 and 2 and anxiety so I dont like being alone. I try to change but nobody wants to be friends with me I dont know why I just cant find friends maybe you could help me with being shy I'm not sure what the problem is.
@@Cameron-yi1dh Why do you feel like you need to change? Maybe that's part of why you haven't found the right people yet... people that will love you for being you... You keep trying to be right for them... when they just have to be the right people for you... Does that make sense?
The shy factor... I actually married a very shy person so I get that it feels even harder to find the right people when you're shy.
But shy or not... when you are focused on your own heart... you radiate all that goodness and personality that is uniquely you, out into the world and the right people are attracted to that inner light.
Did you watch the other videos? If not watch them and let me how they fit into your situation! Then I have another one that I think you will really like!
Reading these comments make me sad, because it’s so relatable. We all have the same lives, and its so sad... i can’t do anything about it, i’m just a background character in my friends lives. Sometimes it looks like they forget that i’m there. I try to think about good things but it doesn’t work. I have a bestfriend, i’m always with her, but now my another friend appeared and they got really close and now they always leave me alone, so i’m just walking behind them or just standing there. The thing is, i told my bestfriend that i feel left out, and sometimes it looks like she doesn’t care or she forgets it. I don’t even know what to do, i just wanna cry and cry and cry.
Alright let's start with an idea that you CAN do something about it... you can shift your perspective and it will make all the difference in the world... or at least be a great place to start. Of course you are a background character in your friend's lives... That's the way it is suppose to be! And they are designed to be a background character in your life.
YOU CAN ONLY BE THE MAIN CHARACTER IN YOUR OWN STORY!
The problem is you are too focused on their stories... you are being tossed around by what is or isn't happening in their stories... and it makes you feel bad and want to cry..... You are focused on how you aren't playing a big enough roll in their story and it makes you want to cry....
But what if you shifted your focus back to your own story.... Aren't you worthy of having your own story and being the leading person in it?!? Are you worthy enough to be creating magic and fun in your story?
To do that you have to stop looking to other people to make you feel a certain way... take your power back by shifting your focus on your own heart and story. Start thinking about what makes you happy and bring your joy... Im not just talking about just trying to think about good things.... watch your thoughts and when they feel negative see it for what it is... an indicator your focus is off.
Daydream about what beings you joy and stop nightmareing about all the bad stuff you are feeling because you are worried about someone eles story.
"This is my heart and my story..... this is my heart and my story..... I have the power to create in my story. I am worthy of experiencing great joy and I can create that in my story......" Let thoughts like this be like a mantra to you....
You write your story one thought at a time.... so keep an eye on those thoughts... Im here if you need more help. I have put some links in the comment that might be helpful as you try to shift your perspective back to your own story.
You've got this... you are supported... and I can't wait to see how you feel once you step into being the main character in your own life!
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/jzFcA5npgNM/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/yVSBwW6VFbc/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/D2WO3i75LoE/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/xKYOE4_PlP8/w-d-xo.html
My friends don’t purposely leave me out, but I feel left out. Last year I moved to a different city and still to this day I miss my old friend group. I see them hanging on videos and it really hurts me, even though they aren’t trying to make me feel bad. I saw them recently, and I was talking about how I missed them. One of them said “well if you miss us, what was the point of moving?” That really stuck with me. I didn’t choose to move, my parents did. These friends have always lived in the same city, never moved, always stayed at the same house. They don’t know what it feels like to move away from the people you love.
Ugh.... I totally feel you! I actually had to move away from all my friends and it kills me still. I haven't really made a lot of friends in my new town yet.... I do a lot of face time and phone calls but it really isn't the same.
I will tell you what I did, and then I will link some other videos that will help to.... Oh and comments like "well if you miss us what was the point of moving?" those are so not helpful because you didn't have any control over the situation....
So this is what I did.... I got quiet with myself and listened to my heart and what it was trying to tell me. (I know that may sound easy but it wasn't because I was so focused on them and what I was missing out on.)
When I focused on what my heart was telling me I could see it wanted to create, it wanted to connect and it wanted to make what feels like magic with other people. (Just like I did and do with my friends I have had for years)
Then I let myself daydream about what it would feel like to have friends here... I could feel the laughter, joy, and support... I pictured myself having fun.... With all those feeling awake within my heart, my heart gave me this mantra "My new friends are making their way to me and it will feel like we have always known each other when we meet."
Now anytime I have feeling of separation or fear about it... I just tap into those feeling and reach for my mantra.... It completely changed how I felt about it! AND it got even easier with my old and dear friends too!
Ok here are the videos I promised!
This one is about bringing the right kind of people into your life:
th-cam.com/video/CggBtitcjCo/w-d-xo.html
This one is about getting the love that you want... even in friendships:
th-cam.com/video/jzFcA5npgNM/w-d-xo.html
These two are about getting what you want:
th-cam.com/video/AsKUurJygGE/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/KOnr88kifRU/w-d-xo.html
And just in case this one is about loneliness:
th-cam.com/video/LqZZ9QMrTC8/w-d-xo.html
Ok, let me know how you are doing or if you have any questions! You are not alone! Your people are making their way to you too!
Awakening to Your Story Thank you so much. I really appreciate it!
@@luxx4 You are so welcome! Keep me posted on how it's going!
I'm always out side of the circle of friends i'm not talking too my friends but when i talk too them they doesn't say anything 😢
Let me ask you a question. Without focusing on your circle of friends, how do you want to feel in that circle? I want you to know that I believe you are worthy of having what you desire. But I wonder if you truly know what you desire. The trick is you have to focus more on the desire then on the wrongness of other. So I challenge you to write me back with how you want to feel in your friendships. Get into it and allow yourself to really express your desire!
@@awakeningtoyourstory it's okay i don't feel saying it right now. I have been a little better at it so it's okay. But thank you for beeing so kind and sorry if my english is bad
@@fantasycma9877 You are welcome!
I always feel excluded out of my “friend” group. To be honest, I don’t even think they want to be friends with me at all. I would like to confront them, but I know that they wouldn’t care at all. I always feel lonely at school, and on some occasions, I cried myself to sleep. I want to make new friends, but I don’t have the courage to. I’m scared that people would judge me.
I want you to know that I hear you and I see you... Not just your pain, but you... as a unique person who is incredibly amazing! I know this because you are the only you this world is ever going to know. You are a mix of all the moments you have experienced and all the dreams you have yet to set into motion. You are also so much more then those things.... your inner being set it all into motion through your humanity.
We take it for granted because we focus so intensely on how we feel in our everyday moments... But those feelings are indicators letting you know if you are in or out of alignment with the truth of your inner being....
More then friends and inclusion I would bet that your heart just wants to feel worthy and valuable. I know this because it is your truth... YOU ARE WORTHY AND VALUABLE. Your focus has been on other people rather then your own heart and story... and because of that you think that your "friends" are suppose to make you feel included, connected and worthy of having the things you want in your life...
Focusing on them... will never be a reliable source for your truth. Focusing on your heart and truth, figuring out what is a hell yes to you, and finding those things that feel so you that it causes enthusiasm to bubble up in you..... That is what will be sustainable for you. Do that and the people who show up in your life will match that same energy in you and it will make your heart fill so full.... but the thing will be that your heart was already full on its own... they just allow it to overflow!
I am sending you so much love your way.... You are not alone. I am here if you need some support. Let me know how you are doing.
Season 5 is going to start in a few weeks and it's all focused on helping you in moments just like this.
Here are some other videos that might help you....
th-cam.com/video/LqZZ9QMrTC8/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/v0_XfyNO8PM/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/CggBtitcjCo/w-d-xo.html
I feel left out,my friends rarely talk to me, leave me out of everything, and when I told them I depressed they didnt even care....So thank you for making me feel better
You are so welcome! I am glad it helped. Remember you are the writer of your story. And you create your life one thought at a time. You have the power to make it all that you want it to be. That includes having the people you want in your life.
You're a God Sent Living Angel! You've avoided many suicides by your Kind & Thoughtful Teachings & Guidances! We Thank You So Much! 🕯♥️🌷🌿🍦
You are so welcome!!! And thank you so much for saying that! And I hope you are right... That is what I am here for... help where I can and to remind people just how valuable and worthy they really are... no matter what might be happening in their life!
Woah this video was an incredible help! Thank you so much 🙏🏻
Recently I've spent many sleepless nights agonizing over how excluded I feel. Aswell as rejected.
My group of friends at church do a lot of things without me. There's a clique formed and I constantly feel the expectation to be this good little Christian, but I'm never enough. I chose to just be honest and vulnerable with them, let them know my struggles. But I feel like that had negative consequences cause people dont often speak to me. I'm very different from them too. I have tattoos and piercings and my lifestyle is different but I wanted to still be ACCEPTED and LOVED just the way I am. And my heart truly wants to be WANTED by others - for them to come to me for advice, to hang out, have deep talks or a casual chat.
To make matters worse a guy I liked, rejected me when I asked him on a date, and now he's dating one of these friends and it's so painful to know I'm powerless to do anything to change this. It'd be far easier if I didn't have to interact with them both anymore. It's torture to have to witness what I want but can't have.
I have felt such strong urges to just "run away" in a sense and leave this all behind. The church. The group. This guy. Because I am so utterly fed up and done with feeling this way. And I've seen no improvement over the year. I feel like an outcast and I feel that there's evidence to conclude that this isn't just a feeling. Should I fight to make things right? Or run away? This is what I want to do but there is no turning back if I decide to go
Hi there... I am so glad you found it helpful! Honestly I don't think you should fight to make it right or run away... because both of those choices give the outside noise (aka these "friends" and that guy) too much power over who you are and how you behave in your life....
Instead I would suggest shifting your focus off of them to your own heat and story.... You can't be an outcast there... You are the main character and the writer living it all into existence.... You can use this situation to help you define what you believe about yourself for you... phases of doubt like this either fortify a limiting belief or clear the limiting beliefs out and fortify your truth....
Do you want to have a limiting belief that says I am an outcast.... that's a heavy one to cary around with you...
OR do you want to find a new relationship with your truth that says... my heart and story are completely unique and valuable.... I am worthy and whole just as I am... People that reflect that authentically owned wholeness and worthiness will show up in my life the more I won it for myself...... That's the patter of thought that feels more true and so that is the truth I will hold onto...
From there if the church still doesn't feel like the home your heart and soul feel good in... then you can move from that inner alignment... no need to run away when you are tapped into your own heart... it leads you, grounds you and connects you to source...
I believe you will find the authentic connections with people that you are looking for.... I really do! Both in romantic relationships and friendships. Give yourself time and space to shift your focus back to where it's important... YOUR HEART AND YOUR STORY....
Here are a few other videos that I think will really help you...
This one is about when people treat you badly... it's great to help you know where to focus.
th-cam.com/video/KogiOAkysa0/w-d-xo.html
This one is about how much you belong.... SO GOOD!
th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
This one helps you understand why you shouldn't fight to make it "right"
th-cam.com/video/G6ayOYYOCYQ/w-d-xo.html
There are so many more I could share with you.... there are all there on my channel if you want to dig in and find others that might help....
I am here if you need a cheerleader or champion for your story.... I am here to remind you about your truth... and your worth and your value... Ask me anything... I am here. Sending you sooo much love your way!
Thank you so much for your reply! These past couple of weeks since I first saw this has been a journey - a positive one!! I've spoken to some of my true friends about your advice and watched more videos. I'll continue watching more from your channel and the links which you kindly sent me. I feel a lot of peace 💖 Love you and thanks again! 🥰
@@simona_sigmund1001 Of course! I am so happy you sent me an update and to hear that you have been on a positive journey! I am even more happy that your heart is holding so much peace. Grateful to have you here watching and if you ever need anything... to process, feel the love, or get cheered on you just let me know. So happy to hold space for you in any way that I can. Sending you sooooo much love your way!!
I feel you
I introduce my best friends and now they just lie. We would be on a group ft and then one will leave and then 10minutes later the other says "goodnight". And then to be on the group ft again one says "we was on this thing for like 3-5 hours" and its like "damn" yall just leave me out like that. so i got frustrated and just left but I got a plan. Im not gonna run but i have a plan to show their true colors. And i dont want to be alone but I just think its time to let go now you know :(
No this is not the first time its been multiple and im just tired but I will always have my family to go to ;)
That's a terrible situation. Having them lie to you and then talk about it right in front of you. I am so sorry you are having to deal with that with these people who call themselves friends. I am so glad that you have your family to go to... that's huge.
Just remember that their actions don't determine your worth or value... I just don't want you to start letting what they do and how they act make you feel less then who you really are!
You also don't have to prove their true colors... they told you who they are by their actions. So don't waist too much time on that because it probably won't make you feel any better.
This video really explains what I mean and it's about what to do when someone treats you badly:
th-cam.com/video/KogiOAkysa0/w-d-xo.html
This one really talks about your worth and value when you feel left out and I think it will boost you up:
th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
And this one is about getting the love that you want... even in friendships:
th-cam.com/video/mhp1qq-1eDQ/w-d-xo.html
Let me know if you have any questions... I am here if you want to share more!
the thing is, they always hang out without me. i get it, i live pretty far from them, which hinders my ability to be able to go to things. but an invite would be nice? at least invite me. i get friends can have other friends, but when i see my close friends always together, in different pairs and combinations, but never with me, it’s pretty obvious. it’s not like i can leave them either. i don’t have a solid back up plan or people i can fall back on, so i’d be completely alone without them
OK... I totally get where you are coming from.... but I am all about heart-centered solutions over here SO... Let's see if we can shift your thinking a little...
First have you been honest with them about feeling like you are missing out and wanting an invitation even if you can't usually make it? Communication and "honest communication" especially can really be a game changer with friends.
Second do you know the difference between emotional co-dependence and independence? When it comes to friendships... the healthier you can be for yourself, then your friendships with other people become healthier too.
Co-dependent friendships usually ask the other person to prove your worth and value for you. Often you depend on them to make you feel like you're enough, likable or significant. Which feels great when they are able to provide all of that for you.... but what happens when they don't... We are all human and the reality is that none of that is their job... What happens is then you start to believe that you aren't worthy, valuable, likable or enough.... Your personal significance is all of a sudden held hostage by someone else's actions....
But when you heart knows it's truth independently then you are free... You know to know your value and worthiness for yourself.... you have to feel it in every finer of your being.... because that is where it is woven into... You must feel your "enoughness" for yourself. You have to know your likability and understand how truly significant your heart and story are to the table of humanity.
When you create friendships from this place of having a free and independent heart you will find it easier to be honest with them and the relationships will be so much more fun and easy too.
I just want you to know that you are incredible.... and I don't want other people's actions to chip away at your belief in your worth and value. So whether these friends start inviting you more or if new friends start to show up in your life.... I just want your heart to always have freedom and ownership of your worthiness, your value and your significance.... after all you are the only you with world will ever know...
I hope this helps and if you have any questions or feelings I am here for you... Sending you SO much love your way!
I feel you literally !
but hey at least ur not alone ;)
I have a friend group and they never invite me to things. I always have to set up plans with them in order to be there. I ask them what they are doing today and they say I’m hanging out with friends and I find out they are all hanging out together. It makes me feel like I’m alone and I don’t belong. I wish I understood their inside jokes watched the same shows and listened to the same songs but I dont even know them at all because I’m never there. But I don’t want to say anything because I don’t wanna feel like I’m the problem or making a big deal about nothing. I heard a rumor that they were talking about me and I don’t want to believe it but it sounds like something that they would do. I know what your thinking “ why don’t you stop hanging out with them “ it’s not that easy I don’t have any other friends please help!!
Oh I know it's not that easy... I get where you are because I have been there before. I am going to share some advanced perspectives with you, but ultimately only one who has power to create change in your life.
Ok first up, you are a born creator. You are the author of your story and the main character who lives it all into existence. This all means you have the power to create the life before you. One of the most powerful tools you have as a creator are feelings. Now you can let your feelings run the show or you can actively use them to help you create.
PS most people just let them run the show... and that's totally fine, it just leaves room for more suffering to sneak in.
If you are going to actively use them to help you create you must first make sure your focus is on your own heart and not on the other people. You can't write or change their stories so being focused on them and what they think or how they are with you doesn't help anyone.
So if you take this situation and pull back.... try to see it as information to help you create from the perspective of your own heart.... I feel.... (fill in the blank) But I want to feel.... (feel in the blank) Imagine what good friends would be like.... Now are you actively embodying that for yourself? How would you feel if you were being that "Ideal" friend and they were that ideal friend.... How would it feel?
Spend some time with your focus on letting your mind and feelings settling into knowing what you want. This is where creation starts... in the daydreaming and allowing yourself to think about and feel what you want even before it happens.
As you do that I also want to remind you that:
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSE!
When people actively leave you out your mind can go right to thinking "there must be something wrong with me for them to leave me out..." and thoughts like that start to chip away at your worth and value.
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR "FRIENDS"
YOUR WORTHINESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH: WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, IF THEY INVITE YOU PLACES OR INCLUDE YOU, ANY OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES (GOOD OR BAD), WHAT YOU HAVE OR HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED, WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, HOW POPULAR YOU ARE, YOUR AGE - EXPERIENCES - GENDER - RELIGION - RACE - ORIGINATION - WEALTH OR STATUS!
Ok, that's a lot to think about.... Here are some other videos that will help you reinforce all of this!
This video is about not taking things personally but using them personally to help you learn and grow:
th-cam.com/video/t-nLlGXD6NY/w-d-xo.html
This one is about taking conditions off your worth:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
These two are about you feeling like you belong. Because feeling like you belong is everything when it comes to feeling like you are on the outside:
th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/DdGjDpRaWb8/w-d-xo.html
These two are about shifting from feeling invisible to owning your worth and value! It lays everything out so you can really understand how truly worthy you, even if your circumstance is trying to convince you otherwise.
th-cam.com/video/hCY3TztTnZQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/T6mVDlRT-ao/w-d-xo.html
Ok, please keep me posted! And let me know if you have any questions!!
Awakening to Your Story thank you so so much this really guided me in the right direction. I also am so amazed that you replied so quickly. You gave me advice and made me feel worthy and not alone. Virtual hugs 🤗💖
@@abbycristal7434 I am so glad you feel like it guided you in the right direction! I am so glad you felt your worthiness! Hold onto that feeling and let it really bloom inside you! You are fully supported, worthy, and valuable just as you are! Keep me posted and let me know how it is all going!
And thank you for the virtual hug!
I always feel left out from my “friends” cause they always hangout and never include me.and when i say something about it theyre just likeoh we didnt make any plans it just popped up and then they forget me again.today i asked them if they wanna come over and i was really excited. And thy were like idk and i was like ok tell me tmrw and then they leave me on read and after she responded saying “sorry i cant i have plans” qnd i know there all gonna hang out together.i really hate rhis.my parents were excited for me and now idk what to tell rhem.
That sounds terrible, and I am so sorry you are going through these kinds of complications with your friends.
I want to remind you of something just in case no one has told you this or if you aren't thinking about it as it applies to this situation.....
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSE!
When people actively leave you out our minds can go right to thinking "there must be something wrong with me for them to leave me out..." and thoughts like that start to chip away at your worth and value.
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR "FRIENDS"
YOUR WORTHINESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH: WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, IF THEY INVITE YOU PLACES OR INCLUDE YOU, ANY OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES (GOOD OR BAD), WHAT YOU HAVE OR HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED, WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, HOW POPULAR YOU ARE, YOUR AGE - EXPERIENCES - GENDER - RELIGION - RACE - ORIGINATION - WEALTH OR STATUS!
Now with all that said I want you to understand that when you focus on all of those things as truth you start to shift your focus off your friends and onto your own heart. And this is huge because that's the only place you can really create change.
When you realize that YOUR WORTH COMES JUST BY BEING YOU... A COMPLETELY UNIQUE BEING... then it's almost like you can take a deep breath. Your worthiness is off limits to anyone's judgments or opinions. No one has the power to make you feel and know your worth... that's your job, to look within and recognize it, celebrate it and own it!
Here is the things... you are the only use this world is ever going to know. In your unique expression, you are the author writing the story of your life. You are also the main character living it all into existence. You have the power no one else.
So when your "friends" pull stunts like they are, it's your opportunity to dig deep within yourself and claim your worth. Remember you have the power to create an experience without them where you feel all the feelings you want to feel with them....
Here are a few videos that I think will help you create ownership for your worth!
This one is about taking conditions off your worth:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
These two are about you feeling like you belong. Because feeling like you belong is everything when it comes to feeling like you are on the outside:
th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/DdGjDpRaWb8/w-d-xo.html
These two are about shifting from feeling invisible to owning your worth and value! It lays everything out so you can really understand how truly worthy you, even if your circumstance is trying to convince you otherwise.
th-cam.com/video/hCY3TztTnZQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/T6mVDlRT-ao/w-d-xo.html
Please let me know how it's going. I am here to help and cheer you along!
I am part of a trio friendship, we started off well and everything was doing fine, we made a lot of memories with each other and even got our friendship stronger when we made ourselves vulnerable by talking about our problems and past traumas with each other. Even though everything is going well, i still feel like im being left out, for example, during classes my two friends are to my right, they both talk to each other first about interesting conversations, and when the person in the center talks to me it feels as if its small talk. Even when im at the center they both just try to scoot past me to talk with each other. And when classes ends one of them calls the other person to walk with them to go outside the school, and i was never called to go with them, they didn't even wait for me or even look back to see if im coming or not, they just walk away.
I am having negative thoughts because of this and i perfectly understand whats going on and i need to reflect on myself for that but it still hurts you know? What hurts the most is that they dont even seem interested in talking to me whether online or offline anymore, not like before when they used to be even a little bit interested in keeping the conversation going.
Im not sure if the issue lies in my social skills or they are just simply just not that interested in me anymore.
I do know... And I am really proud of you for articulating your emotional situation so well. That means you are really trying to figure things out rather then just sit in it. And I love that you are trying to look within too.... But I hate that you are having to go through this and I just want you to know that I see you and hear you.
Wether the issue lies in your social skills (which I doubt) or lies in their interest (humans can be fickle about there focus) there are a couple of things I want you to keep in mind.
Number 1- Those negative thoughts that you are having.... I want you to know that you have power over them they don't have power over you unless you leave them uncheck to run amuck... then they will have power over you and how you feel about yourself.... don't follow those thoughts and for sure don't let them chip away at what you believe about yourself.... Don't give someone else that much power over you.... don't let that negative voice in your head start to bully you because of something those a fallible humans did or didn't to.... Here are two videos I want you to watch! They will help you really see how much power you have over your own thoughts! th-cam.com/users/liveAVHNYxBVkVA?feature=share
And this one is an emotional tool to learn that will help you with your thoughts. th-cam.com/users/liveIUcccfAewho?feature=share
Oh man and these two are going to be good too... This one is about your inner voice!
th-cam.com/users/liveSKpY3t2J49A?feature=share
And this one is about choosing a positive thought when things feel hard.
Number 2- I want you to know that your worthiness, value and significance are not determined by any kind of outside source. Meaning even if these friends never show up in the way they use to or the way you hope they will that doesn't mean you are in anyway less than.
I know how the process works... they do something that feels negative and then you internalize it and start feeling like you are less than because of their actions.... And I want to call it out for the lie that it is.
You are the only you that will ever be here.... and you being you... is enough.... you are intrinsically worthy, and valuable and significant. period. And if you ever start to doubt it just let me know and I will be happy to remind you....
These videos are a reminder about your worthiness... th-cam.com/video/Eg6QQyLtXBg/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/Zb_64gmeVv8/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/Xv8f4lGbNVE/w-d-xo.html
Ok... I really am here... watch the videos and keep learning!! And keep me posted on how things are going!
SAME! and I have no idea what to do, like do I stay with them and try? or do I step away
This is what I am going through. For me, an introvert its much more difficult...
I don’t know if this is only my feeling that I am left out or if I actually am. Like when I talk to my friends especially through text messages, they don’t respond to me or ignore me. I also feel like I don’t feel or receive the same energy that I am giving off to them, and that makes me feel like I am annoying to them or too much. I have been struggling with this feeling, and not sure what I should do.
Hi there! I totally get what you are talking about. And I believe that if the situation is weighing on you then it's a good idea to look into it for yourself, because you don't want to be walking around feeling or thinking you are annoying and left out. Honesty you are worthy of so much more then that!
Sometimes when we focus our attention too much on other people we accidentally make them our point of reference. If they are your focus and they don't text right a way it can feel like their silence creates a hole in you. If they are your point of reference and they are giving you less then the same energy that you are giving it can make you doubt yourself. That's when those thoughts of being too much or not enough for them sneak in. You start to feel bad and shrink down because you feel a little less worthy somehow.
That's why it is SO important to make sure you are your own point of reference. That you are making sure to focus on your heart and how you feel. If you feel less than, I can tell you that your focus is not on your own heart.
What does it mean to focus on your own heart... Well this is some of what your heart knows to be true:
YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLY UNIQUE AND WONDROUS HUMAN BEING. YOU ARE WORTHY, VALUABLE, AND MIRACULOUS JUST AS YOU ARE.
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSE.
YOUR WORTHINESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH: WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, IF THEY TEXT YOU BACK, RETURN THE ENERGY YOU GIVE THEM, OR INCLUDE YOU.... YOUR WORTH AND VALUE AS A DIVINE AND HUMAN BEING DOESE'NT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES (GOOD OR BAD), WHAT YOU HAVE OR HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED, WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, HOW POPULAR YOU ARE, YOUR AGE - EXPERIENCES - GENDER - RELIGION - RACE - ORIGINATION - WEALTH OR STATUS!
That is just a small amount of what you heart knows. Anything that contradicts that is going to feel off and bad because it it trying to pull you from your truth.
When you pull your focus off of your friends and bring it back to your heart then you are going to feel more ease and comfort.
Now I know that is easier said then done... so here are some of my other videos that I think will help you shift your perspective back to your heart and help you get more of the experience you want with your friends.
This one is about getting the love that you want... even with friends:
th-cam.com/video/mhp1qq-1eDQ/w-d-xo.html
This one is about what to do when someone treats you badly:
th-cam.com/video/KogiOAkysa0/w-d-xo.html
This one is in direct response to your worth and value when you are feeling left out:
th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
And this one helps you understand what's happening in your own heart and story:
th-cam.com/video/HupjPrd76fQ/w-d-xo.html
Ok... that's a lot but it will really help you stop struggling with the situation. Let me know if you have any questions. I am here to help you navigate your way to a better feeling situation. Sending you sooo much love your way... Please don't take your worth and value for granted... because you are the only you this world is ever going to know!
Hi, i always feel left out when my friendship group are always talking about the same things, for eg (their favourite song, Band group etc) and then they all talk and laugh together and im just there listening and not getting involved by their conversations.
Also their is this one friend i have, i can’t explain but she loves me alot ( as a friend ) and sometimes she just doesn’t talk to me and instead she just talks to my other friends and i feel left out that she get loads of attention from her instead of me, (i feel like i’m not important to them) 😔
Please help
I'm sorry it took me a few days to reply. I took a break for all social media, but now I am back and ready to listen.
I think the key to feeling different and creating a different experience with these friends is in this part of what you wrote to me: (i feel like i’m not important to them).
No matter what the details of your story may be, if you feel not important, valued, worthy, or enough in your life, for yourself.....no one will ever be able to love you or care for you enough to make you believe it.
When you focus on "them" and how they "make" you feel or their actions make you feel you are focused on a place that you have no power to change.
But if you recognize that a situation like this offers you information to help you see that your focus is off and that the truth your worth and value need some attention, then you take back the power.
If you work on building up your focus on your inherent worthiness and value then you will find that it doesn't matter as much what the other people in your life do or don't do.... you will feel good about yourself and your circumstances no matter what.
Try watching these videos because they will help you deepen into that incredible place within your own heart:
This one is about your Worthiness & Value:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
These two are about you belonging:
th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/DdGjDpRaWb8/w-d-xo.html
These two are about taking back your power:
th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/7fmU2-0RGkk/w-d-xo.html
This on is about not taking things personally but using them personally! IT'S GREAT FOR THIS
th-cam.com/video/t-nLlGXD6NY/w-d-xo.html
This one is about feeling lonely:
th-cam.com/video/LqZZ9QMrTC8/w-d-xo.html
Keep me posted on how it's going and let me know if you have any questions! Remember you are worthy and valuable no matter what is happening in your life and no matter what other people may think about you!
I knew everything that you said, but the way you linked them together just made me have a mini-breakthrough. Thank you. Back to work...
I am so glad that it all seemed to come together in a new way for you! Keep me posted on how thing are evolving for you in your life!
I really needed this, thank you 💜
You are so welcome. I am glad it found you!
I love my friends at school, i even enjoy their company. But, i never get invited to thier get togethers after school. I dont feel left out at school, only after school where most nights im just laying in bed watching youtube while my friends are together. I dont want to confront them because i hate making people uncomfortable. What shiuld i do?
Well let me start by saying that its wonderful you have the ability to see where you are feeling included. When we confront people often the underlying energy is fear and often it is based in a co-dependent language. Such as: Do or be this way so that I feel better. Act or treat me this way so that I feel better about myself. While this can sometimes work it is not usually sustainable.
So I would recommend working on building up those feeling of being included at night. I know this may sound silly to you, but when you do this you open a door for it to be your next logical step.
Daydream about how it would feel to have fun with your friends after school. Come up with come creative things that would be fun to do together. Allow your mind to be there now, thinking about and focusing on the fun, joy, connection and ease of it all happening.
Once you feel like you have really owned those feelings your next logical step will be including them in on it. It wont be about confronting them or asking them to do something with you so you feel good. You will already be feeling good and you will just be asking them to join you.
Let me know if you have any questions.
You are worthy of having meaningful and fun times after school with your friends. You also have the ability to create those moments for yourself!
Here is a video on getting the love you want... that includes the friendship kind of love, and a video on your worthiness that might also be helpful.
th-cam.com/video/jzFcA5npgNM/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
Thank you! This will help
Too bad I cant hang out with friends because of this Coronavirus craziness 😅
@@gunwon1604 I'm glad it helped!
@@gunwon1604 So true! Hopefully you are able to connect with technology!
Im in a group of 3, our friendship was realllyyy good and positive back then, and then we went to different high school now, we've been seperating for 2 years buat sometimes we hang out and it feels nice when we hang out bcs they really understands me and i love them a lot. They promised that we will still be bestfriends until we die (i know this sounds so cliche ). But lately i feel soo left out bcs they hung out once without me and they gave each other a gift today, i dont even know what for but i feel like they should ask me to join them i think???because its always been the three of us. I dont know if its just me or am i just overthink things. But it hurts A LOT bcs we've been friends for almost 5 years and i dont want to talk to them abt this bcs i feel like it will just ruin our friendship.
Well first of all, don't worry about it sounding cliché. Your feelings and desires are valuable no matter how they sound to others. I understand the fear you have about communicating with them. It plays right into the feelings of being left out. The fear feeds off the negative feelings and vise versa.
Remember you have the power over your thoughts and your feelings. Your surroundings only have the power to “make” you feel a particular way depending on where you CHOOSE to focus your attention. And that goes for your friendships too. Your friends doing something without you, only has the power to make you feel left out, if that is where you choose to focus.
If you are focused on feeling hurt and left out, you are probably dealing with some hidden fears of not being enough or worthy. Which means you are asking your friendships to validate those feelings for you. Communicating from this kind of place doesn’t often go well.
So I would challenge you to calm the fears and refocus your attention and thoughts first, then talk with them like the good friends they have been for the last 5 years.
How do you do that? Well it starts with taking responsibility for your feelings. This is a very powerful thing to do! Let me just say most people don’t ever get to this place. If you know you have the power to choose your thoughts and feelings then even if something messy like this comes up, you gift yourself a new perspective. This perspective gives you a path out of the messiness that doesn’t feel so good to you!
Then start where you are and work your way back to your heart and where you really want to be…
I feel: your answer may be (left out)
Why do I feel this way: your answer may be (because then leaving me out of the gift exchange made me feel like I wasn’t good enough)
How do I want to feel: your answer may be (I want to feel connected, important and valuable to other people)
Once you find how you want to feel you then get to start incrementally move towards it one thought and feeling at a time.
Let yourself day dream about those feelings… Find a way to feel connected right now… Start simple; are your feet connected to the floor? Then you have the power of connection right now in the moment…. If you focus on it and allow yourself to feel it. See focus is huge!
Then keep building on those feelings… And really watch your thoughts… Does this thought feel good… nope. Then acknowledge it, and tell it you are not my truth and then choose one that feels better and more true.
I have added some other videos that might help too. Please let me know if you have questions. I am happy to help!
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/DdGjDpRaWb8/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/3SUyoYWJOiE/w-d-xo.html
@@awakeningtoyourstory thank you so much that really helps and i think i'm getting so much better now even though i haven't been able to completely deal with it
@@firesturner7207 I'm so glad it helped! You are so welcome. Let me know if anything else come up that you need help with!!
OMG THIS IS LITERALLY MY STORY
I’m a part of a 5 person friend group( with me) , and I always feel left out. Whenever we are walking outside beside each other I would be the one pushed back behind the others, I would be left out of activities they would do in school and they would not tell me knowing that I would like that particular activity. They would have secrets between each other and wouldn’t tell me, i thought we were all best friends. Whenever I would talk about something it would be for a few minutes then they would start talking over me and change the whole topic and not let me talk. I’m so confused, am I their best friend or just a someone they are using for grades 😔😢.
If you are attached to them, this is how they take advantage of you. Notice how you still call them friends. This is an example that they have a power to mistreat you. Because they know you are desperate to stay where you would allow them to mistreat you. Your heart needs to be detach to a point where you no longer call them your friends. It does not matter how long you know them. In a friendship, what matters is how long they respected you. They were not even respecting you. It is clear they aren't your best friend. If you keep hanging out with them without their consent, they will eventually have a power to report you as a stalker. You will live a lie pretending to have friends. So once you cut them off, don't even call them friends. I have been there way back in the 90s in middle school. I used to think they were my friends. They weren't.
Thank you so much
@@TheOnlyWeirdo_1 Hi there! Sorry it took me so long to get to your comment! And I am so glad someone reached out to help you feel heard. How are things going now?
I just want you to know that you are worthy of being treated better then that... They are not treating you like a friend... and i understand how confusing that can be.... is their meanness situational or are they actually mean? It can be hard to navigate your way through it all.
But let me remind you that friends build each other up and even if a negative situations comes up you can work through it with respect and you still want everyone in the dynamic's light to shine! When you start to feel like you are diminished, shrinking down or feeling less than... that's a good indicator that you are in an unhealthy dynamic and those people are not really your friends.
I want to give you two videos that I think will help you build yourself up and may just give you some valuable tools to help you with this confusing situation.
This one is about what to do when someone treats you badly (which they are) th-cam.com/users/liveKogiOAkysa0?feature=share
This one is about what to do when other people's actions lead to self-bulling ( I just want to make sure that their voices or opinion about you have not snuck into your own thinking)
th-cam.com/users/liveFkScb233XD8?feature=share
Ok... I am here and am sending big love your way!!
This happened to me with so called university friends, they cut me out and didn’t have the guts to tell me. I’d have preferred honesty as harsh as it may have been, looking back they weren’t nice people anyway and I’m glad we are no longer in one another’s lives. Sometimes other people can do you a favour. Be strong as silver linings can be found in the end.
I LOVE your attitude! And you are absolutely correct because it is all working in our favor after all.... even if it feels hard in the moment.
Just want to remind you that you are so very worthy of having nice and wonderful people show up in your life and become true friends that really get you and see you for all that you are... the wonderful and the messy part and accept you for you! I have no doubt those people will find their way to you!
Keep building that positive bias (see this video so see what I am talking about) th-cam.com/video/AVHNYxBVkVA/w-d-xo.html
Sending big love you way! Always here if you need to feel seen or chat something out!
I felt very left out when I found out three of my friends were hanging out together today. As i type this they're out somewhere hanging out. I needed to stay inside and one of my closest friends sent me a picture of them hanging out together when I asked for help after fighting with my sibling. I cant help to think that she's just doing it to make me jealous. Right now I feel very ugly after crying. I really love my friend but I want to have a real friend as well. I dont want to tell her that I hate when she doesnt invite me to these kinds of things because I'm afraid we wont be friends. We dont talk or call more as we used to before. I want to scream at them and ask them to get out of my life or stop sending photos of them hanging out together if there's no point. Should I just ignore them or do something about it? Please help :(
Well I wouldn't tell you what you should do because I don't think "shoulding" on yourself is very helpful in the long run. From my experience doing something about it while you feel this way probably wont give you the outcome you want, and the more you try to ignore it the more you tend to think about it.... So might I offer you a third suggestion.
Focus on your own heart and story.... I know it doesn't sound very glamorous but it will be the most effective thing you can do right now. Put yourself in the way of as many things that bring you joy and help you feel good. Focus your mind on things that are solution oriented and deal with your own experience. The less you focus on them the better your chances get of feeling good in your own life.
In that spirit here are a list of videos that I think will help you do just that and they will also help you learn about just how powerful your mind and heart really are!
This one was a direct response to all of the comments I got on this video:
th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
This one is about when someone treats you badly:
th-cam.com/video/KogiOAkysa0/w-d-xo.html
This one is about what to do when you aren't getting the love you want... yes even in friendships:
th-cam.com/video/mhp1qq-1eDQ/w-d-xo.html
This one is about turning a bad situation around:
th-cam.com/video/VHmgJVM9hvk/w-d-xo.html
This one is about feeling like you aren't enough:
th-cam.com/video/ulWM2M5RRjU/w-d-xo.html
This one is about practicing optimism
th-cam.com/video/vef-TH1UVps/w-d-xo.html
Start with these and then let me know how you feel and how things are going!
Sending you big love your way!!!
Thanks for this. Tonight my friends sent pictures of a birthday party in our group chat… with everybody in the picture but me- uninvited. I’m not having a self pity party, but thanks
You are so welcome!
Hey I don't think you're having a pity party... That's a hard situation to be in and navigating your own emotions and reaction is an advanced move on your part. Some people just sit and stew in the suffering and it seems like you want to find a way through it. I also saw you were commenting on other people's comments which was super supportive.
I just want you to know that I see you and think you are doing a really good job being you!
Keep me posted on how things are going and how you are feeling!
@@awakeningtoyourstory thank you, I will :)
@@Oohspratz you are so very welcome and I can't wait to hear!
don’t worry i’m kind of having the same situation except maybe better? i couldn’t go to a sleepover with my friends and now there sending me a bunch of videos about how fun they’re having and one of them is saying “wish you were there” it’s nice but i just don’t believe it anymore
@@rileysatterfield1671 oh no Riley I’m sorry. It really hurts. Maybe if you tell them they’ll drop it but you shouldn’t have to go thru that
thank you for this ❤ i really hope I survive college, it’s such a pain to go to school, knowing that you just don’t fit into any little cliques/ hearing your previous “friends” say she’s there let’s not go there… and all these exclusion started because of a misunderstanding I had with some of my classmates. I recognised my mistake and apologised but things aren’t changing and I’m really starting to hate myself because of it. I’m just really lost and not sure of what to do despite knowing that they just aren’t my friends and that I should move on. It also feels terrible knowing that no one, not even my parents understand how I truly feel. My feelings aren’t validated and coupled with the exam stress it’s really getting onto me :(
You are welcome... and I really hope you survive college too... or better yet find a way to thrive in college...
I want you to know that I see you... and while I can't ease the exam stress I absolutely see what you are going through and validate you in the midst of it all.... but external validation doesn't usually help if you aren't internally validating yourself first.... YOU KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN YOUR HEART.... that is what matters... and the next step is to figure what you are going to do for yourself in the midst of it all....
PLEASE don't start hating yourself because of other people's reactions to you or lack on interaction with you.... that is giving them way to much power over your heart and story.... no one is worth hating yourself over... don't let them chip away at how you see or feel about yourself!!
I want to give you a couple other videos to watch that I think might make you feel better.... the first one is about your point of reference... It's a game changer when you are in a situation like this....
th-cam.com/users/liveAFeqKJDO9uI?si=HVGE0YAuerchVvLo
And this one is about your inner dialog and making sure you aren't letting other people's voices about you pull you to places you don't want to go...
th-cam.com/users/liveSKpY3t2J49A?si=yzpSnI_qUtsCq5ol
I am here... to cheer you on and boost you up and teach you some helpful emotional tools so you can build your emotional intelligence along the way!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!
Please keep me posted!!
When you go to college, you got to forget what other people have and focus on you. Once you compare yourself to other people, that is when you will get your impostor syndrome. When I was in college, I focus on myself. I don't even hang out with anyone. It is already proven those people you compared yourself to became a distraction from your educational goals. I know in my life, there are lots of people who have tons of success but what do I do. I prefer not to listen to their success stories. I don't care. You only fit in when you use your solitude life to do your homework. Who cares about those social life people have. If you see other people walk in campus alone, then be that kind of person yourself. Surviving college is not about how many friends you have. Surviving college can also be based on passing your classes. If you think more like go to class and head right home in your own terms, then you survive college. You got to live only for yourself and nobody else. What happens if your partner leaves with an educational achievement? You will only feel stuck in solitude. A way to survive college is depend on nobody but your own education.
First of all, it's been 4 years since you poested this and it amazes me that you still read and answer the comments, congrats and thanks for that, honestly.
Secondly, your video and replies are veery helpful and gave me a whole different insight on the situation i'm in.
In my case, I'm the one who excludes myself. Wherever they go or whatever they do, they always try to include me (I'm not sure why, that worries me tbh, they call me for obligation or bcs they like my company?, who knows, i try not to think abt it that much) but I started feeling so unconfortable around them and now I really just wanna stay away from them. I mean, the gruop has only 5 people including myself, and there's 2 girls who are like best friends so I don't like being around them when they're alone, like what am i even doing there? the other two member are also very close, for the same reason I don't feel like I should be around them, as if I was on their way or smth. I kinda feel like I have no place on this gruop sometimes, and I still haven't found a way to proceed, should i try to make other friends or reconnect wit the ones i already had? should i try harder to follow their steps and get closer to everyone?
Well you're welcome and thank you for watching and reading the comments and commenting in yourself! I love making the videos but I love connecting with you guys even more!!
And I am happy to witness you and help you find your very own heart-centered solution for any kind of situation you find yourself in. I am curious about what insight you got from reading the comments... and how that might have shifted they way you think about things.
As for the questions about the situation you are in right now.... I want to give you two very different kinds of advice or things to think about....
But before I go there I want to share this video with you. th-cam.com/video/twkeKomPmhI/w-d-xo.html You can also just read through the blog if that is easier for you...but it will help you see everything around you as information to help you...so even this strange situation with this group of friends is "information" that is designed to help you along the story that is your life....
Now looking at your situation as information there are at least two ways to think of it...
The First Idea: What if this situation is about you trusting your gut or instincts. You feel like things are off and maybe you are not exactly sure why but being in the small groups or even in the whole group as a whole doesn't feel right to you.
If that is the case and that resonates with you then I would say trust your gut and ease off spending time with them. Make room to meet and spend time with some new people.
The Second Idea: What if the information behind this situation is about you healing a limiting belief that someone handed down to you that says that you don't belong or that you don't have a place.
You might have to sit with that one for a few moments to see if it resonates with you... If you think that's the case then it become about re-patterning your thoughts and coming back to a place of creating ownership for your worth, value and significance alone or within the group.
You let me know which one feel more right or resonates more with you and we can go from there. I can give you other videos or walk you through figuring out next logical steps for you to take for yourself. Or maybe even make a video specifically for your situation....
Whatever way it goes... you are not alone!
Sending big love your way!
@@awakeningtoyourstory You just send me to watch a bunch of your videos since the information one, lol, thanks for those.
So, eitheir I'm really being left out on this friend gruoup or It's all in my head, in a sense that I make myself believe I don' belong there, huh? I'll have the chance to experience that during this week and take my conclusions, thank you for the insight!
Regardless, someone close and important to me showed that it's also completely okay to make new friends and that I shouldn't limit myself on this aspect, I'll also try to put that on my head
Thanks again, I already love your channel
@@gab4879 You are so welcome and I love how you are taking the information and really making it your own! That is my goal with all of this... to empower you to create a deeper relationship with your own heart and mind and in doing so create ownership for the power of your personal story!
And when you say "or it's all in my head" think of it more like it's a wound my heart is holding that then naturally leads to a limiting pattern of thinking... The good news is that you have autonomy over your heart and subsequently your thoughts... as long as you are awake and learning how to use them!
I am here just a comment away if you ever have any questions, need help or want to celebrate something you have figured out!!
Whenever I'm with my two best friends, I always feel left out and insecure. I'm actually really insecure about how short I am and I tend to hesitate in doing things like dancing or singing with them, so they probably find me boring. They do text me regularly, but they never invite me when they hang out together. Recently, they've been hanging out a lot without inviting me and I feel really left out.
Hi there!!! I am so happy you commented and felt secure enough to put yourself out there on here.
I always say this but it's so true... I wish I had a magic wand and could make your friends see you for all that you are and make your friendship with them feel safe and secure... Unfortunately I don't have that power... but I do have the power to be like an aunty and cheer you on, remind you of some amazingly true things, and hug you with my words.
Your insecurities can be such an interesting place for you to learn more about yourself and create ownership for your power.
I am sure you have heard this before but your physical shortness doesn't determine anything about who you really are.... Meaning your worth, value, significance, are not determined by you physical stature. Your ability to be fully who you are has nothing to do with your physical body at all. Your ability to create, love, show kindness, enjoy life, laugh, dance, experience joy, feel enthusiasm, and rock your freaking life have nothing to do with how your particular body is shaped.
You are not your body... you have a body.... and your relationship with that body is one you will be in for your whole life here on earth... so maybe it's time to look into that insecurity and find your way through it... use it to help you own who you really are.... the power you really have as YOU! The completely unique and wonderfully put together being that you are!
You feeling left out isn't really about them.... it's about you leaving yourself out of all the things you want in life because you have been thinking that because of your height you can't fully be you and experience the world in the way that you want...
I just want you to know that I see you and I know the power with in you... and when you step into that inner alignment... and truth about who you really are.... anything is possible for you!
I hope these words are like a big hug to your heart.... I am here if you have any questions. and am sending you tons of love your way! I am so grateful you are you and that you are part of this vast table of humanity!
Also here is a video I did about building a healthy relationship with your body. I don't talk specifically about height but you will get it!
th-cam.com/video/NtLbIDm6SH8/w-d-xo.html
I feel left out all the time. I don’t have a lot of friends and they friends I do have leave me they don’t talk to me or respond to my texts while being with other people. The person I thought was my bff moved to China and rarely respond and she see my texts.
I am so sorry you are finding yourself on the outside of what you want. Can you try putting some words around what you want? It's hard to create what you want when the feeling you are having about what you don't want keep running through your mind. So tell me... what do you want? How do you want to feel as you get what you want?
This video really hit hard. I’ve been stuck at home for a while now because of autism burn-out and I just feel so lonely. Everytime I go to school I’m the one who has to start a conversation otherwise I get ignored. My friends are getting mad at me for not going to school but when I’m there it’s just pure survival, no fun, the only joy I had was my friends but every time I’m there they just ignore me or seem awkward around me. I feel like I’ve done something wrong like “ being to pessimistic or whining about my situation to much” I’m coming to a point where I’m starting to resent them a lot. I stayed quiet today and they ignored all day. I really want to mend these relationships but I think they’ve already given up on me.
This video did tell me one important thing though. To focus on myself. And that is what I’m going to do. In the past people were attracted by my confidence and happiness so maybe I’ll make some new friends. I’m just upset that my current “friends” invalidate and ignore me
I just want you to know that I see you and am really proud of you for watching the video and taking in the idea of focusing on yourself, and then articulating it to me... that means you are already starting to own it for yourself and that's a big deal.
I am so sorry you are in a cycle of burnout at school and it seems with your friends. You living and surviving in the best way that you can in any given moment doesn't mean you have done something wrong... That idea or feeling of wrongness that you are identifying with is really a self-judgement that probably isn't serving your higher good or wellbeing. So be kind to yourself, gentle and curious with your own heart and story...
Focusing on your own heart and story allows you to take some of the power back over how you feel. My bet is when you get back into a place where you are feeling better about
you, the things and people around you will also get back to a place that feels better.
I want to give you a couple more video to watch that I think will help.
This one is about positive and negative bias and the power you have over your thoughts:
th-cam.com/video/AVHNYxBVkVA/w-d-xo.html
This one is about creating self-love and growth mindset
th-cam.com/video/04glls5LnYM/w-d-xo.html
And this one is about becoming a better communicator. This might help you communicate with them once you are feeling more tapped into your own heart and story.
th-cam.com/video/ki3GKyNvSHo/w-d-xo.html
Ok... let me know what you think and if you have any questions... I really am here to help and cheer you on!
I believe in you!
@@awakeningtoyourstory thank you so much for responding I’m definitely going to check those videos out :)
@@TWartzz Wonderful! And you are so very welcome! Really, keep me posted! Looking forward to hearing what you learn and take away for your heart and story!
I just don’t understand anymore. It’s like I’m stuck in an endless cycle of neglect and being left out. Everytime I think I’ve found a group of good Friends, they go ahead and leave me out and the same Cycle keeps repeating itself over and over. It’s the same situation in different faces and I’ve tried working through this a lot but it just doesn’t seem to get any better. It’s really painful and I don’t want it to be like this forever
It sounds like you are ready to break the cycle of neglect and being left out! Really being ready to create change in your story is huge. And you know what? I believe that it is well within your power to get there!
Try not to think about it as "you don't understand anymore" and try to think of it as "I am learning, growing and discovering more about my life with every interaction"
Now before I share a couple videos I want you to watch... I want to make sure that you understand that your worth, value and significance are not determined by how other people treat you.
It feels like all of these old patters of being left out and neglected have started to settle into your own belief system about yourself. It's time to take that power back... You are the main character and author of your story.... don't let these people make you feel like a supporting role in your story and don't let them write your worth, value and significance as something less then what it truly is....
Ok.... Now onto some videos to help you shift your perspective from all of those disappointing "them" back to your own heart and story.
Watch this video first... it's in response to all of the comments like yours that I got from this video:
th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
This one is about optimism huge for the place where you are:
th-cam.com/video/vef-TH1UVps/w-d-xo.html
This one is about self love and growth mindset again great for where you are right now:
th-cam.com/video/04glls5LnYM/w-d-xo.html
This one is more advance it's about mapping out your emotional heart:
th-cam.com/video/HupjPrd76fQ/w-d-xo.html
Ok start there... Ask me anything I am here to help you along the way! Keep me posted on how it is going! And remember you are not alone!!
Exactly the same for me… every group of friends has done this, without exception.
I have friends, but I still feel alone.
I totally understand. Have you watched this video yet? It might help give you another perspective. Let me know if it helps or if you have questions!
I trie to tell my two bestfriends my feelings about this, and they just got mad :(
That's terrible. It's hard when the people closest to you aren't willing to validate what you're feeling. It's your "best friends" that are suppose to see you and be there with you as you move through things in your life....
I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this... I want to remind you that even if they got mad... that doesn't diminish what your experiencing.
One thing that always helps me out in situations like this is a shift in perspective. When you are focused on them it can be hard create meaningful change that makes you feel better. BUT when you are focused on your own heart and your story.... well you have all the power to create change there!
This video is about not taking things personally but instead using them to help you personally...
th-cam.com/video/t-nLlGXD6NY/w-d-xo.html
I think it will help you understand what I mean about shifting your perspective.
This one is about taking conditions off your worth and it is always valuable to take more conditions off your worthiness!
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
Let me know if you have any questions... and just know that I hear you and see you and know just how valuable and amazing you are!
Awakening to Your Story thank you 🥺 💜
@@yejisu you are so very welcome!!
They saw me shutting down and continuously isolating myself, reason being because I felt isolated so they decided to ask me about how I felt and I told them I was feeling like they were excluding me and got back lash. Now they don’t speak to me at all and talk shit about me behind my back and I have to live with them until the end of July! Soo exciting!!!!!!!
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this kind of dynamic... I am really proud of you for being honest with them about how you were feeling.... backlash or not I'm really glad you didn't just shrink down and silence your voice.
I hate to say it but if they are the kind of people to talk shit about you behind your back and actively choose cruelty over kindness... are these truly your people/friends/where you want to invest your time and heart?
I am so sorry you have to live with them until the end of July.... Maybe the emotional exercise over the next couple weeks is to let your light shine unconditionally.... create ownership for your own magic and worth no matter how the surrounding people are showing up... if you can practice that then you have turned a crappy situation into something that will benefit you for your whole life to come.... Practicing being who you want to be in the face of a challenge is always going to be a win for you!
I know that it won't necessarily take the sting out of their behavior but this can give you your power back! I am here if you need to chat about it or just be seen by someone who believes in you and knows your heart matters!
I want to give you a couple video that might help you stay on track.... just in case
This one is about what to do when people's actions accidentally lead to self-bullying thoughts:
th-cam.com/users/liveFkScb233XD8?feature=share
This one is about when you aren't getting the love that you want... and yes that even means a "friendship" kind of love: th-cam.com/users/livemhp1qq-1eDQ?feature=share
Sorry it took me 6days to reply... I was out... but am back and am here to help if I can!
@@awakeningtoyourstory Thank you so much for your kind words. I definitely need to work on myself for the times when people don’t like me because for some reason I can’t seem to move past situations like these.
Also, just ti give you an update, those girls and I have become cordial. Weirdly enough they check on me to see if I’m ok now etc, even though in the moment of me, sitting how I felt they claimed I was imagining things. At the moment we speak to each other and laugh and have a good time, so I guess that’s good until this internship is over. I’m not sure what changed but I guess I’m content with it. I definitely don’t want to be friends with any of them outside of this because even if my feelings weren’t reality the way they reacted it’s completely inappropriate, and I will definitely watch the videos you sent, as they will be really helpful in my journey of becoming a better person. Thank you so much again.
@@kennedyvincent3217 Of course! And I just want to say that I think your outlook on the situation seems grounded. I really am here cheering you on so if you ever need anything I am here! So keep me posted!! ❤
I helped her with everything. Helped making friends, helped when she needed someone to hear her, helped with work and things she didn’t understand. I was and still am always for her. But I’m never her first option. She only talks to me when she needs help or when she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to (with this I mean she prefers to be with anyone else other than me) i don’t know if I’m expressing this well but i just feel so underappreaciated and honestly I don’t even want to wake up everyday. I’m always left out. She is always whispering with her other friends and when I ask them about it she just says it’s nothing or that i wouldn’t understand. THERE WAS ONE SINGKE TIME I DID MESS UP WITH SOMETHING (it got resolved)? and in like a week and it wasn’t even intentional) but she messed up so many other times and i forgave her. But she reminds me everyday of it and makes me feel miserable. I normally would always defend her but I simply can’t do this anymore. I’m angry
Let that be your 1 time thing. Never mind about her. You already helped her make friends. That is good enough. Don't go back providing any more service. If she suffers, that is when you have control and go like what happened to your other friends. Helping them does not mean being attach to them. You also need to know when to step back and watch them grow. So once you get angry, you don't even have to continue defending her. I mean she does not even appreciate you after that 1 service you did for her. The trick about helping people is to guide but not to get involve. If you get involve, your attachment stays and that is exactly how you don't feel appreciate.
Hello! SO sorry for the late reply! How are you feeling in the friendship with her now?
Here is what I know for sure.... You are worthy and deserving of being someone's first option... in addition to being treated well as a friend... you know mutual respect and care.... But I also know that hurt people, hurt people. and all human beings are walking around at least a little hurt if you know what I mean....
And let me just say that you expressed yourself and your feeling really well. I am so glad someone jumped in and commented while the alga-rhythm on here hid some of the comments from me....
But I always try to offer up some tools that can add lasting benefit to your life and story. So this is the one I want to gift you.... The tool of Your Point Of Reference. th-cam.com/users/liveAFeqKJDO9uI?feature=share
It can be so easy for us to focus on the people on our lives and how wrong they are or how badly they are treating us... but when you learn how to really use your point of reference as a tool you change the game for yourself!!
Ok... Let me know how things are going! I really am here and am sending big love in your direction!
this video deserves more views. thank you so much!
Thank you Tim!
I’m just so sad right now
I am so sorry your heart is heavy... I am sending you love... I am here if you want to talk about it....
Growing up, I was very socially anxious and didn't really have friends. Then when I moved to go to grad school, I had a lot of friends and pretty much everyone in the program knew me. Everyone moved away when graduation came. Now not being around people makes me feel empty. Especially now as I recover from my second back surgery in three years. I use a walker and get tired more easily. Now friends hang out with me less. It makes me feel like it's a hassle for them to include me and that I'm a burden to them. I never had a friend group, but now I do and my other two friends get along really well and hang out a lot. They don't invite me to things. One of my friends is celebrating her birthday today and is hanging out with our other friend. They didn't invite me even though I included her a couple weeks ago when it was my birthday. It just makes me want to give up on having friends. It feels painful to keep having lost/severed connections. It's such a common theme in my life in general. My parents left my siblings and I when I was born. My guardian mom died when I was nine. My family didn't get along well. My sister was basically my family and she passed almost two years ago. It's as if I was meant to be alone and no one wants me around. I'm sure my feelings can be attributed to attachment among other things, but my knowing and feeling aren't in sync.
Hello there... Just want you to know that I see you and really hear what you're saying. I am actually really impressed with the way you can articulate your feelings... and tells me that your mind is set to a filter of curiosity... which is a big deal because it means you're still interested in your life!
Let's be honest, have survived a lot of loss. And sometimes when we survive loss starting at a young age it sets a patter of belief into action... One thought and one feeling at a time we start to think that the patten is that people leave us. And that might lead to thoughts of giving up on even trying to connect with people... because what's the point.... those thoughts can run on auto pilot without us even realizing it... and it causes us to feel weighed down... all of a sudden you see yourself as a burden and un matched or connected to the people in your life.
But here is the thing you must remember.... a belief is just a thought you keep thinking over and over again and put focus and attention on. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE WHAT YOU BELIEVE. You don't have to let your mind run on autopilot replaying all those things and people you have lost.... You get to choose how you think about that too! You survived.... you are still standing... And getting stronger (congratulations on making it through your back surgery by the way)! You are unconditionally worthy, valuable and significant as you are.... that's not stuff of ego that's the stuff of your heart.
You are connected to your ancestors who left this earth before you including your sister. They are more connected to you know then they could be when they had a physical form.
If you want to feel more connected to the people in your life you have to create ownership for state of connection within yourself. You have to believe you are worthy of it! And that means taking those old thoughts off autopilot and choosing those thoughts that feel more aligned with how you want to feel!
Listen I am here if you need to chat things through. I am cheering you on and believe in you.
These other videos might just help you dig in a little deeper into what I'm talking about:
This one is about your paths of thinking and the power to choose! th-cam.com/video/IUcccfAewho/w-d-xo.html
This one is about creating a positive bias vs the negative bias that keeps you linked to all that heavy stuff. th-cam.com/video/AVHNYxBVkVA/w-d-xo.html
Just in case you two friends action have lead to a little self bulling this one is great for that. th-cam.com/video/FkScb233XD8/w-d-xo.html
And this one is about dealing with stress... because feeling and carrying all those negative feeling causes stress. th-cam.com/video/rWYhdN3V2o0/w-d-xo.html
Ok. please keep me posted on how things are going! And I really am here to cheer you on!!
Thanks for making this! Ive been feeling left out because I’m not the leader of it and from other experiences I have been the leader the one everyone follows but that changed. Also, one day me and my friend group were just talking until they say I miss the favorite of the friend group he is the one who made all of the funny stuff and they wouldn’t stop talking abt him. 😢
You're welcome! So happy to meet you here and cheer you on. Sounds like you are a natural born leader... I am too so I totally get it. But I will say that there is a lot to learn when you take on a different role. Not being the leader doesn't mean you are any less valuable to the group dynamic.
Let me advocate for you to stay curious about how you feel and what you witness in the group when you are not the one leading it... Maybe it will make you an even better leader next time it happens!
Here if you need anything!!
You are great thank you
You are so welcome!!!
My friend group can be complicated, I’m in a group of three and I love them both but one of them I prefer to hang out with more because we have more in common. But I feel as if it’s a constant battle over that bff with me and the other like we are all bffs but we kinda have a favorite so I feel left out, but then I also feel jealousy, I just want to have a friend group with no jealousy and just feel equal
Friendship dynamics can be complicated and can also ebb and flow over time. Those feelings of competition and jealousy are part of the human experience.... All of our feelings are really... but often people take directions from their feelings rather then using them as indicators they are designed to be.
Taking a moment to notice your feelings, create space so they don't have all the power, and being curious enough to figure out where they are coming from... it will all help you use them rather then being consumed by them. (This is a great thing to do with any negative feelings)
When you get curious think about those feelings from all the different angles. You said you want to feel equal... what does that mean to you, where else do you feel like things aren't equal, what are the feelings around being equal that you are really looking to feel? Then think about those feelings of battle from all the different angles... Using all of this information to help you create a stronger language for what you want to create.
I just want you to know that I see you and I know how hard it all can be. But I also believe in your power to create great things in your life... the things your heart really wants and desires.
Just remember that you have the power to choose who you want to be in the midst of all the crazy friendship dynamics... friendships come and go and evolve but the relationship you have with yourself and your voice....that inner dialog in your head.... that one is forever. And I would hate to see you pick up a negative inner dialog that lasts for a long time because you were taking direction from those feelings...
Here are a few more videos that might help:
This one was a direct response to all of the comments I got on this video:
th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
This one is about understanding what your emotional heart is doing behind the scenes
th-cam.com/video/HupjPrd76fQ/w-d-xo.html
This one is about what to do when you aren't getting the love you want... yes even in friendships:
th-cam.com/video/mhp1qq-1eDQ/w-d-xo.html
This one is about turning a bad situation around:
th-cam.com/video/VHmgJVM9hvk/w-d-xo.html
Keep me posted on how things are going! I am here if you need extra support. Sending you tons of love your way!
Thank you! Ever since I made this comment I kept thinking about it and I decided to instead of focusing on that one friend I decided to hangout all together and I feel way better!
@@rorybear3332 I love to hear that! It is always good when things feel better! Does it feel the way you were hoping it would?
I am here to cheer you on so always feel free to reach out!
Yes it feels great! Thank you!
@@rorybear3332 Yay!!!
Hi,
Recently i had an argument with my 3 best friends. We made up and were normal for the first few months, but i felt like something was off. Whenever i wanted to express my opinions or talk to one of them, it's like they couldn't care less. Today i found out they had a group chat without me, and they said they didn't want to add me to it because there's stuff they don't want me to see as they don't trust me as of what happened before. Mind you, it's been 5 months. I just cannot help but feel betrayal because i genuinely thought that we all had no secrets between us. They're always out doing so many fun things without me and i don't know how to talk to them because to them, i am just there. We all used to be so close and told each other absolutely everything but now i feel like it's all just gone. I really don't want to lose them. Whenever i try and express my emotions they always take it the wrong way and make things weird between us for a couple of days, even weeks.
I am sorry you are going through that with your friends... Sometimes trust gets stepped on in a groups of friends... Whether it's in an argument or by people's actions things can start to feel off like the dynamic shifted all of a sudden.
Finding out that they are intentionally and actively leaning you out of a group chat feels like them stepping all over that trust. Now I have no idea what the situation was in the "argument" that started this whole downward spiral and who stepped on who's trust there but they byproduct is the same... you feeling left out.
You can't do anything to change them... because you don't have power there.... the truth is that people can be really freaking disappointing. It probably isn't the first time nor will it be that last that in your life where people let you down.
BUT you always have the power of choice....you get to choose how you internalize that disappointment... you get to choose who you want to be on the other side of it and you get to choose how you want to feel in your life.
That's a big one... realizing that they don't get to or have to determine how you feel.... because right now they actions are determining how you feel about yourself and they dynamic in the group.
Listen... Please, please, please, don't let this situation or dynamic make you start doubting yourself.... If they continue to leave you out of things then maybe they aren't your "people" I know that would be heart-breaking.... trust me I really get it.... but your people would not treat you like an outsider... just like you would not treat your true friends like an outsider.
Whether you stick it out with these friends or not the important person to think about is you... your heart and your story..... Remember it's the only place you really have power!
So focus on being the best version of yourself and your people will drawn to that light within you. Maybe it will be them or maybe it will be people you don't even know yet.
I really wish I could be like a fairy godmother and wave a magic wand and make these friends of your truly see you, appreciate you, and include you in everything...
But since I can't do that... I will be like the Aunty who love and cares about you and offers you some heart centered wisdom, cheers you on and wraps your heart in a big hug with my words.... I know I know this is a long comment back... but stick with me!!!
First... remember that friendship groups are valuable but they are second to making sure that you are taking care of yourself. Physically, emotionally and mentally.
So let me remind you....
When your focus is on them and you find yourself always outside of the things they are doing.... it doesn't feel good (why would it) All of that is your inner guidance is trying to tell you that YOUR FOCUS is off track.
When your focus is out there on them (and that them could be any different group) you start to pick up sneaky thoughts like... I must not be good enough, they must think something is wrong with me, maybe there is something wrong with me, I am never going to be included, I am not really part of the team.... Ugh... those thoughts only lead to you feeling more negative.
So I want you to try this:
Focus where you have power. YOUR OWN HEART AND STORY. Think of your life as a movie or story. You are designed to be the main character of your story. And guess what you are the one writing it all into existence. You can't change them or make them show up in the way you want them to, but you have the power do decide who you want to be in response to how they are showing up. Remember don't let them accidentally become the main characters of your story by wishing yourself into their wold.
You have the power to shift and change your story one thought and feeling at a time. Once you figure out who you want to be, and how you want to feel then you can start to shift your thought and feeling to be more aligned with where you want to go.
I know that sounds simple but it's really powerful... Figure out who you want to be and feel your way back into the power of being the main character and author of your story and then walk into the room as the main character... The outside world with start to shift to meet you where your thoughts and feelings are...
Does that make sense?
I know you are worthy of way more then scraps other people offer you...
YOU ARE Unique, valuable, significant and worthy just as you are!
Let me know if you have questions I am here to help where I can! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to your comment!
Here are some other videos I think will help you focus on your own heart and story!
This one is about your mindset!
th-cam.com/video/04glls5LnYM/w-d-xo.html
This one is about when other people's actions lead to self bullying thoughts.
th-cam.com/video/FkScb233XD8/w-d-xo.html
This one is a direct response to all the comments I got on this video
th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
This one will help you shift your focus back to your own heart.
th-cam.com/video/ulWM2M5RRjU/w-d-xo.html
Really keep me posted on how things are going... Again sorry for the late reply.... know I am sending tons of love your way!
Normally, when they just recently forgive you, it means you can't expect them to beg you to join. They normally would not let you in. I mean, they still remember your past flaws even when they tell you they forgive you. In the forgiving phase, they might drop the negative topic but they also may not want you back if they still don't trust that you can change. So if they just recently forgive you, just remind yourself that it should be good enough to be forgiven. Being forgiven does not automatic mean back together. I mean look at the couples who break up. The only way they are forgiven is they keep their distance and does not get back together. Once they get mad at you, just say sorry and leave. It still have to take time. So if I were you, I would just walk away and give them peace because I know they aren't going to let go of my past flaws. If you force them to take you back, this would mean there forgiving mood is gone and they go back arguing with you again. If you stay, they look at you as a person who cannot change and you will be viewed as a person with that same flaws. You don't want to get to their bad side. You have to be out of their lives where they voluntarily beg you to come back. If they don't beg, it means they are not forgiving you quite yet. In order for you to be forgiven, normally, you accept the fact that staying will cause more chaos. Even if they don't want you back, what is important is not to be in enemy terms with them. You don't want to pressure them into forgiving you.
I have a best friend that I met in 4th grade. We had the same similarities such as watching the same shows and etc. It was really nice have a friend, I never actually had a friendship that lasted more than 1 year. I later on grew feelings for her. Then, middle school rolled around. Her and I were still friends until i found another friend. I introduced her to my other friend and they became friends very quickly. We became a trio, but the thing about trio’s are that 1 person always gets left out. That person was me. Only a month passed by and the teacher assigned them to the same table while i was at the table across them. I was happy that my friend finally had to someone to talk to at her desk but, it got out of hand. Their friendship grew while I stood there and watched. They started to hold hands and thats what really set me off. I’ve had a crush on her for 4 years and I was just going to watch that get taken away. I feel like they have feelings for each other as well, so when they finally get together or something I’m just going to there. Standing, and watching. The 4th grade friend barely talks to me, all the attention is towards the new friend. I don’t think this friendship is going to last.
I am so sorry you went through all of that... and are still struggling with it. Friendships can be really challenging especially if you are crushing on the other person.
I just want you to know that you are not alone as you go through it all. I see you and I really get it....
I also want to say, please, please, please do not let how they are treating you sneak into the way you think about yourself. Weather they know how badly it is making you feel or not, please don't let the situation start to determine what YOU think YOU.
Just because this situation has turned out this way doesn't mean they all will! And it doesn't mean you deserve it or are any less of a wonderful person just as you are.
Ok I want to keep it really honest with you.... there are two ways a situation like this processes through your mind.
One way is for it chip away at what you believe about yourself. You start doubting yourself and before you know it you see yourself the way they see you... as a sideline person to all the fun... and you believe that there is something wrong with you because you are seeing yourself through their eyes.
The second way is dig deeper into your own being and find that inner "hell no thoughts like that don't get to take up residence in my mind" way of thinking. You get to use this experience to help you figure out what you really want in your life and how you want to feel.
Only you can decide how you want to process this situation for yourself.
But let me also tell that you are the main character of your story! Let that sink in.... You are not a supporting roll and someone else is the main character.... This is your story!!! And you are author who writes it all into existence.
You are worthy, significant and valuable just as you are. You are also more powerful then you probably feel right now.
It's all about point of reference and where your put your mind and what you choose to think.... and get this... all of that leads to how you feel... So if you reach for thoughts that keep you the main character of your own story.... feeling good about what is possible around the corner.... believing in who you really are.... you are going to feel so much better living your life....
And guess what... people who really see you for all that you are... for the way you see yourself.... they will be around the corner waiting to create with you!
Ok... here are a couple other videos that I think will help you!
This one is a direct response to all the comments I got on this video th-cam.com/video/ODRu7xnhTOA/w-d-xo.html
This one is about negative bias and I think it will really help you in this situation!! th-cam.com/video/AVHNYxBVkVA/w-d-xo.html
This one is about what to do when you feel like you can't have what you want. th-cam.com/video/mjFiVnblU_c/w-d-xo.html
This one is really good and is about 3 things you can do to foster optimism... huge for being the writer of your own story! th-cam.com/video/vef-TH1UVps/w-d-xo.html
Ok... I am here if you need to chat or process anything.... ask me anything there are no silly questions... just know that you are not alone!
me and my bestfriend , usually hang out together and i always invite her to any place i feel like she would like . but ever since she went back to her old bestfriend , she started cutting me out of all her plans . & when today i asked to go somewhere with them she made a excuse to not make me come with them . and she told me she will see me other there when she know i won’t go by myself . and i just feel a type of way of what she did . and i always invite her places but ig she don’t do the same she invite her other bestfriend ( btw i’m not bestfriends with her other bestfriend ) . & nobofy rlly y’all to me or that close . and now even my own bestfirned don’t talk to me .
I'm so sorry you are having to go through that! It's hard when a friendship you count on shifts and leaves you feeling like that.
I just want to tell you something just in case no one has before, or in case you know it already but just need a reminder....
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSE!
When people actively leave you out your mind can go right to thinking "there must be something wrong with me for them to leave me out..." and thoughts like that start to chip away at your worth and value.
So no matter what is going on with your friend or her friend, please keep this close to your heart:
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR "FRIENDS"
YOUR WORTHINESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH: WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, IF THEY INVITE YOU PLACES OR INCLUDE YOU, ANY OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES (GOOD OR BAD), WHAT YOU HAVE OR HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED, WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, HOW POPULAR YOU ARE, YOUR AGE - EXPERIENCES - GENDER - RELIGION - RACE - ORIGINATION - WEALTH OR STATUS!
Here are some other videos that will help you reinforce all of this!
This video is about not taking things personally but using them personally to help you learn and grow:
th-cam.com/video/t-nLlGXD6NY/w-d-xo.html
This one is about taking conditions off your worth:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
These two are about you feeling like you belong. Because feeling like you belong is everything when it comes to feeling like you are on the outside:
th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/DdGjDpRaWb8/w-d-xo.html
These two are about shifting from feeling invisible to owning your worth and value! It lays everything out so you can really understand how truly worthy you, even if your circumstance is trying to convince you otherwise.
th-cam.com/video/hCY3TztTnZQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/T6mVDlRT-ao/w-d-xo.html
Please keep me posted! And let me know if you have any questions!! I believe in you!
Same, I'm in a 4 people group chat and I'm aren't friends with the other Asian girl coz we don't get along very well, and she is mainly the girl who has bothered me so much.
I have multiple groups of friends but I feel left out in all of them or maybe I just I have a jealousy problem. I would see my friends post stuff on their Instagram about the sleepovers they’re having or them going to the park together and I would just wish I was there. I felt like what hit me the most was when my friends went to take a group photo together for a school dance and I saw the picture on Instagram and I felt pretty upset because I felt like I did something that made them not want to invite me so I tried to do certain things like not FaceTime or text them that often cause I think maybe they are tired of me texting and FaceTiming them a lot so I’ll stop doing it.
Well let me start by saying that being curious enough to look beyond "them" to your own feelings is huge. I mean, I work with people who have the hardest time focusing on their own side of the story and the feelings that exist there. I just want to celebrate your inner wisdom and call it to your attention!
Remember no matter what: YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSE!
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE ALSO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, IF THEY INVITE YOU PLACES OR INCLUDE YOU, ANY OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHAT YOU HAVE OR HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED, WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, HOW POPULAR YOU ARE, YOUR AGE - EXPERIENCES - GENDER - RELIGION - RACE - ORIGINATION - WEALTH OR STATUS!
You are in a sticky learning situation.... that's it... you will engage in it and you will hopefully learn more about yourself as you do.... but it doesn't have anything to do with your worth and value. I really want you to take that to heart!
Here is a video about dealing with jealousy that might help evolve beyond those feelings. And to be honest the ideas in it will help you not just in this situation but many that may come up in life.
th-cam.com/video/yVSBwW6VFbc/w-d-xo.html
This video is about not taking things personally but using them personally to help you learn and grow. I think the ides in it will help you here too.
th-cam.com/video/t-nLlGXD6NY/w-d-xo.html
And I have to add these in because I think they are valuable for you too:
This one is about taking conditions off your worth. And to be honest that something that so many people have a hard time with. It's what keeps you lock in a loop of suffering with your friends:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
These two are about you feeling like you belong. Because feeling like you belong is everything when it comes to feeling like you are on the outside:
th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/DdGjDpRaWb8/w-d-xo.html
These two are about shifting from feeling invisible to owning your worth and value! It lays everything out so you can really understand how truly worthy you, even if your circumstance is trying to convince you otherwise.
th-cam.com/video/hCY3TztTnZQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/T6mVDlRT-ao/w-d-xo.html
Please keep me posted and let me know if you have any questions! I think you are doing a really good job!
I was left out after 10 years of being friends with my school mates we were group of four girls but they never called me after school one day I burst out at them becuz I heard them calling me just a weight on them they are carrying I was with them standing there supporting them but In the end I just found talking them behind my back I cut off all connections with them and I have now 2 best friends and they are way better than them I am happy people always say that school friends last longer not in my case
I am so happy you found friends that feel like a healthier and better fit for where you are now! That is absolutely something to celebrate!
Try not to carry the weight of how the other girls acted around with you. I say that because sometimes that happens and we don't even realize it.... Set yourself free from who they were and how they showed up and allow yourself to really know that you are worthy and deserving of good feeling friendships like you have now!!!
Sending big love your way!!
I just found that my friends hang out with out me they made a group called "no me=Fun"
Well that's terrible... I am so sorry that the people you call friends think that treating someone like that is ok... It's mean, rude, limited and shortsighted.
When someone or a group of people act out like that it shows me who they are, what capacity to be a good human they have, and that someone in their life taught them that acting like that in normal.
SO enough about them... because actions like that
SHOW MORE ABOUT THEM THEN IT DOES ABOUT YOU! (please think about that statement)
And now I want to focus on YOU... Are you doing ok? I want to remind you of something super important...
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSE!
I want to remind you of this because when people treat you like they did...actively leave you out and being so mean...your mind can go right to thinking "there must be something wrong with me if they are treating me like this..." and thoughts like that start to chip away at your worth and value.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! YOU ARE WORTHY, VALUABLE, AND MIRACULOUS JUST AS YOU ARE.
YOUR WORTH AND VALUE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR "FRIENDS"
YOUR WORTHINESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH: WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, IF THEY INVITE YOU PLACES OR INCLUDE YOU, IF THEY ARE MEAN, BULLY YOU.... YOUR WORTH AND VALUE AS A DIVINE AND HUMAN BEING ALOS DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES (GOOD OR BAD), WHAT YOU HAVE OR HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED, WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, HOW POPULAR YOU ARE, YOUR AGE - EXPERIENCES - GENDER - RELIGION - RACE - ORIGINATION - WEALTH OR STATUS!
When you realize that YOUR WORTH COMES JUST BY BEING YOU... A COMPLETELY UNIQUE BEING... Your worthiness is off limits to anyone's judgments, opinions or actions. No one has the power to make you feel and know your worth but you... that's your job, to look within and recognize it, celebrate it and own it!
So I will say it again to make sure you really get it... you are worth more then the scraps of attention and mean actions of these people... you are worthy and have the power to create friendships that are fulfilling and that are a value add to all involved!
Here are some other videos that I think might help you:
This one is about toxic people and relationships:
th-cam.com/video/-AryW1gGkmI/w-d-xo.html
This one is about bringing the right kind of people into your life...
th-cam.com/video/CggBtitcjCo/w-d-xo.html
This one is about taking conditions off your worth:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
***This one is great and talks about what to do when someone treats you badly!
th-cam.com/video/KogiOAkysa0/w-d-xo.html
This one is about not taking it personally but using it personally:
th-cam.com/video/-AryW1gGkmI/w-d-xo.html
I'm sure I could find more that would speak to this moment in your life...
I just want to make sure that you are ok, and that you know how incredible you are....and that you aren't alone. I am here if you need anything. Let me know what you think or if you have any questions.... There are better friendships waiting to be co-created by you I know it!
This video is Helpful and Yet at the same time made me burst into tears and that includes hearing of what others go through. My mom had 3 children and I'm the only female. I always wanted sisters,always prayed for sisters so when i was blessed to be in a squad of 5-6 including myself of all girls i was over the moon joyed and thanking god everyday. I've known them since even before middle school and during all those years we communicated but mainly in person,not over text and if over text not much which is fine. They lived in my complex,well...3 did..the other one across the street from us and the other minutes away. We were all besties,sisters...and how it all came apart is there's two girls out of the squad thats biological sisters and they have an abusive mom. I stood up for them,myself and my family since this "Mom" loved drama. They tell me I'm crazy over my assumptions of their mom having Herpes from cheating on my uncle not by blood instead of some metalic issue going on in her head and they're all calling me crazy and bitchy. In the end all 4 didn't stick up for me and they should have Knowing how their mom is. Another didn't want any part which is smart but then days to weeks later i was told i never did anything wrong. Despite this i started not getting invited to places more than usual. Around the time one of them had a birthday party i celebrated and came despite what happened and when my baby was born,months later i let them see and hold her. Just because i have a child doesn't mean i don't know how to make time for my best friends and doesn't mean i shouldn't be invited just because i am a mother. After one of my bff's parties i thiught we were all good. It was a mistake for me to believe that. Before i decided to just pull away i found out through the one whose birthday party i went to that they're all Going over each other's houses,having slumber parties,making tiktoks of each other dancing,going to six flags,clubs and parties,each other's birthdays and not inviting me anymore. We stay in the same complex and even after the biological sisters moved away we all knew where to find each other yet no one comes to visit me,they don't invite me out,they don't contact me,no nothing and it hurts so bad. Sometimes i would look them up on social media and just think to myself"What have i done to deserve this"?!I even cry now while writing this. People i once called one of my biggest blessings turned into one of my most painful memories😢
I am so sorry your heart was hurt by the people who were suppose to be like sisters to you... whether it's biological sister or a sisterhood of friends, the highs and lows of growing together and a part and then back together are hard...
I don't know if you feel like it will come back around or not but I want to remind you to keep growing and learning even through these painful experiences. Make sure that you don't start shrinking down or dimming your light as a reaction to how they treated you when you used your voice. I am proud of you for using your voice and standing up for your friends... even if they couldn't really see the value of what you were doing.
Keep asking yourself, "who do I want to be and how do I want to show up in my life and the lives of the people that I love?" Then find a way to do that unconditionally... if you can do that, then even if the world around seem to be going crazy, you will be able to rely on that inner alignment to guid your way.
Your "sisterhood" may change and it may be hard... but your heart's longing for connection and community with other women is strong your people will find you. I know that for sure!
I am here if you need to vent or if your heart just needs to be seen! Sending big love your way!
When you try to change your life for the better you will be confronted with being left out. Misery loves company and the one thing a miserable person hates is seeing someone they know who is trying to be better and change themselves.
It is very true... when trying to change your life for the better you often grow out of the personal dynamics you have been living in... and sometimes the people who are not willing to grow with you can get tangled up in their own limitation.... I will always advocate to focus more on your own path then the path of other people especially the ones who don't want what is best for you!
I'm an adult and hardly have any friends I'm in touch with. I always have to initiate contact. I reconnected with old friends that I lost touch with many years ago, it seems like they always maintained a group chat throughout the years. They are all in different countries. I'm not part of the group chat and it hurts knowing that, I asked to be part of it but they brushed it off without making me part of it. I feel like my heart broke into million pieces, I feel like it is my fault for them acting this way because I couldn't keep in touch with them many years back when I should have (mainly because I stopped going to social media and felt overwhelmed with life). How do I overcome the feeling of pain knowing that they are all hanging out online?
Angela I really want you to know that I see you.. I recognize the broken hearted feelings you are having, and I hear your desire for more then this painful experience.
Let's start by taking fault and blame off the table... Those two things only keep you stuck in the suffering and you want to overcome those feelings of pain.
Everything you experience in life can be looked at as useful information, but you have to have the right perspective. You have to be curious and willing. Its also important to recognize your worthiness no matter what you may be feeling.
Here is the thing, you are the author and main character of your story... As the author your job is to co-create a story that feels good to you. From the perspective as author, if you notice some information that says you feel left out, overwhelmed by life or like you are always have to be the one to reach out... What would you do?
You could use the information to help you find, define, and tap into what you really want!
How many hours have you allowed your thoughts to simply replay the suffering? Way more then feels good. SO use the information to help you shift those thoughts! You write your story one thought and one feeling at a time.
YOU are an incredible human being. I know this because there is no one else like you in the whole world. Only you have the power to change the thoughts you thinks and the feelings you feel.
Try starting with this:
1) Ask yourself what it is you feel left out of. You may find that you feel left out of the connection, the conversations, the joy and enjoyment people seeing and knowing you.
2) Turn that "left out" into "want" and you find something like... I want feel the connection, the conversations, the joy and enjoyment of people seeing and knowing me.
3) Now let yourself daydream about it. Feel all the feelings right now. How would it feel to laugh with other people... How could that connection look and feel for you? And don't just stop at simple answers, let your self have fun with it.
Let your thoughts go there more often then the painful feelings.... Journal about it and put yourself in the way of things that help you tap back into those feelings of belonging.
These two videos will really help with that:
th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/DdGjDpRaWb8/w-d-xo.html
Here are some others that will help too!
th-cam.com/video/jzFcA5npgNM/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
Let me know if you have questions! I am here to help. I truly believe you have the power to live a life that feels really good to you! I'm serious... ask me things if you need more help!
All of the comments are mostly people who feel left out like me. It is impossible for me to find people like you guys.
They are almost all people who feel just like you do... I would venture to say that it is one of the most common situations we as humans find ourselves in. Even the people who seemingly have all the people in the world can and so feel on the outside sometimes.
Try not to give up hope that your "people" will find you or you will find each other. And until then you are always welcome to comment here to feel like someone sees you and hears you! You are included and part of the inner circle here!!
Thankyou for this video ❤️❤️..my current situation right now..was really feeling very low.. definately made me feel better💜
You are so welcome and I am so glad to hear that it helped you feel better.
Let me know if you need support along the way!
And I thought this video might just help raise you spirits even more!!
Sending big love your way!
th-cam.com/video/AVHNYxBVkVA/w-d-xo.html
I forgot to link the video!
My problem is, they tell me they are going to hang out and they plan it infront of me, They tell me "we don't want you there." they tell me where they will be hanging out but I dont know where that is and then they send me pictures of all of them hanging out and matter affect they just called me while I am writing this... and yes they are all hanging out together right now. It drives me crazy that when I ask if I can come it is an immediate no but if it inside school no problem we can hang out but outside of school nope we dont want to hang out with you. I dont get why, and they just called me again after I texted one of them to see how they are doing and what they are doing that way it does not come accross a conversation on monday and one said "do you want me to feel bad for you or something?" and another said (who I am not really too well of friends with) said "You have no friends, stop bothering us." so yes thankyou for reading this comment almost 3 years after this video was posted, I feel like they are leaving me out. Who is in the wrong? Me or them?
Oh honey.... they are in the wrong.... Like so far into the wrong that something is terribly "wrong" with them, not just their actions. To be deliberately mean like that is bulling. They are intentionally trying to make you feel bad and that's never ok! And to set the record straight it says more about them then it does about you.
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this kind of behavior in the people around you. And there is a good reason it drives you crazy.... it's freaking crazy! To be nice to you in school and then treat you like that outside of school... These people will probably never really have the capacity to be the kind friend you want, deserve or that you would be to someone...
I usually say similar things on these replies but I reallllllyyyyy want you to hear this... like from my heart to yours.... DON'T LET THEM DETERMINE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOU!!!
Please don't let their limited capacity to be a kind and decent human being trickle into what you think about yourself. Don't let their terrible behavior make you doubt anything about you.
These are NOT your people.... don't make yourself small or shrink down to try to fit into their limiting story of you.... Don't let them become the main character in your story by allowing them to get into your head about who you are.
Your people will come, but you have to be living the fullest expression of you for them to find you!
I am a comment away if you need to vent or feel seen and validated...
Here are a couple other videos that might help you focus your attention where it is better served then on them....
This one helps you understand where to focus your attention:
th-cam.com/video/AFeqKJDO9uI/w-d-xo.html
This one is about other people's actions leading to self bullying.... just in case... because I don't want you to start self-bullying accidentally.
th-cam.com/video/FkScb233XD8/w-d-xo.html
This one is about when someone treats you badly: th-cam.com/video/KogiOAkysa0/w-d-xo.html
Ok.... that's kind of a lot... but keep me posted on what yo think and how things are feeling and going for you!
Yesterday, we had a high school grad party, and my friends had gone downstairs to the outdoor playground/basketball court to take pictures. My sandals broke and it was high noon, and the ground was scorching hot. I tried going to them but burnt my feet and had developed blisters all over them in the process and decided to go back upstairs. My friends group took millions of photos, my two close friends took a lot of photos, my whole class took so many photos together, but no one even remembered that I had not come. I watched them enjoy from the corridor of the first floor, and it seriously looked like they forgot that I even existed. I struggle with a lot of self-hate issues and this really hurt me more. Idk if I'll be able to trust friends again. I feel like no one will have my back. Now I don't have any photos of grad party, I see everyone's stories with photos with everyone, and no one even asked me why I wasn't there n any of the pics. My parents asked me to show pictures, and I didn't have any to show. I understand that it's a situation where they didn't have any choice but to leave me behind, but no one even asked me if I was okay, and it feels really bad to see them having fun in the photos as if they are missing nothing. It feels like they are reaffirming my worthlessness.
Let me first say that I really see you and get where you are coming from... I am also so sorry your grad party turned into something so negative for you... when it was meant to be a time to celebrate and feel good.
Thank you for being honest with me about your inner dialog. Self-hate and feeling worthless can establish a pattern of thinking and fortify your negative bias. (Do you know what negative bias is and how it works? If not I highly recommend watching this video th-cam.com/video/AVHNYxBVkVA/w-d-xo.html )
It is this negative bias that makes a situation like this sting even more and feel like it's reaffirming those negative ideas you have about yourself.
I don't want to scan over the really crappy parts... burning your feet - crappy. Having to watch your friends capture the moment while you were unable to participate- crappy. I want you to know that I really get that... BUT I also don't want you to walk away from this situation adopting this idea that you somehow don't belong... aren't worthy... or enough.
I can't go back and change what happened... if I had that kind of magic wand I would... but since I don't I want to help you tame those thoughts of self-hatred that you talked about... Because somehow you have become your own bully and I know that you deserve better treatment then that. I know the truth about you.... I know that you are the only you with world will ever know... I know that you are the only person who can sit at your seat at the table of humanity and that you have something unique and important to offer humanity. I know that you worth, value and significance is not conditional on any external situation or circumstance.... and no matter what your inner dialog sounds like... no matter what situation you find yourself in... you are still worthy, significant and valuable as you are... burnt feet and sad heart and all.....
Your friends acting or not acting a particular way will never be able to right the self bullying thoughts that have become a pattern in your own mind.... That is something only you have the power to change for yourself. And I not only believe you can do it I know you were designed to do it.
Please watch the negative bias video - th-cam.com/video/AVHNYxBVkVA/w-d-xo.html
And this video about your inner dialog will also help you find a way of taming those inner bullying thoughts- th-cam.com/video/SKpY3t2J49A/w-d-xo.html
This video also talks about when other people's actions lead to self- bullying - th-cam.com/video/FkScb233XD8/w-d-xo.html
This video is about how to practice optimism: th-cam.com/video/vef-TH1UVps/w-d-xo.html
And this video is an emotional tool that I think will help you choose your paths of thought -
th-cam.com/video/IUcccfAewho/w-d-xo.html
I am giving you all of these video because I think they speak to where you are right now... but so many of the other video on my channel will help you focus on mending your own heart and inner dialog.
I am absolutely here if you have any questions... You are not alone and I truly believe in your power to find a way back to self-love so that you can believe in your fundamental worthiness... Please let me know that you got this and at least heard some of the things I shared....
Sending big love your way!
I also just want to say that you because you inspired my video for this week... here is the link th-cam.com/video/rOzKdtbn5_s/w-d-xo.html
@@awakeningtoyourstory thank you so much. All the overthinking I did today has been exhausting. Your comment made my day. I will surely watch all of your videos. Thank you for taking time out for telling me these kind words. I'll not forget this. Thank you sooo much . You have no idea how much all this means to me. Hope you stay happy, stay healthy and safe too 😊✨💛 thanks a lot
@@sanninlegends1843 Of course! You are so very welcome! I really am here if you need anything! Please keep me posted on how things go!💖
@@sanninlegends1843 By the time you make it to college, all these negative memories about your high school buddies not waiting for you would already be erased because you would already focus on being a college student. Past dramas in high school would already stay buried. When you were ditched, it is like the situation itself is preparing you for college. It is like the situation was forcing you to grow up quickly. When you are in college, it would be about learning. Especially if you become full time student, you will barely make time for social life. Once everyone goes there separate ways, there is no coming back.
Well here’s is how I feel left out from my 3 friends they always make me feels like I’m not special doing tik tok’s go to each other houses talk about stuff I don’t even get bc I wasn’t there I feel so jealous not needed and it’s a horrible and they don’t trust me with anything and one of my friends when she see’s one of my other friends she doesn’t even listen to my conversation anymore.. and they laugh and I just sit there.. it’s so hard and I just cry thinking about it it’s not fair! Only one of my friends seems to care about me
Well I want you to know that I care about you! Here is the thing about feeling left out and not feeling like life is fare... No matter what is happening in your life you have the power to find a different perspective or way of looking at the situation. Did the video help you? Do you have any questions about what we talked about?
I'm in a group of friends (about 13 people), we're just online friends we don't know each other personally, we've been friends since last 7 months and I'm starting to feel left out from there, in starting I used to think and tell myself "don't get so close to them they're just online friends they don't even know you, they'll leave you". But then I started feeling more connected to them and feeling safe with talking to them but now it's like... they don't need me? Or they don't care whether I exist or not. They also told me how I don't talk to them more openly and how I'm more conserved and I get that but it hurted me a lot. Those were last people I'd expect hearing something like this. I obviously haven't talked to them about I'm feeling because I'm scared of what they will think of me, I'm scared of embarrassment I'm really scared. I feel like I don't wanna live anymore.
Hi there...First let me say that you aren't alone and that I really see you and get the struggle you are feeling.
You writing in saying that you feel like I don't want to live anymore... Makes me want to scream and shout over this platform.... Hold on... Take a breath.... and please please please find a different perspective.... don't let anything anyone else does determine how you feel about yourself or your life.... YOU ARE WAY MORE VALUABLE THEN THAT!!! Valuable..... YES, Valuable....
You being you in all your messy human glory trumps embarrassment.... I know your scared of making the wrong move.... I get that feeling of being held hostage in your own life because you are trying to fit into some sort of box of other people's expectations.... You and your story can't be shoved into a box... you weren't designed to live that way... You were designed to have emotional freedom and power!
There is so much I want to say to you.... but I want you to watch these three video.... think of them as letters of hope, and encouragement meant just for you....
This one is about what to do when you are afraid to talk to your friends about how you feel....Fitting for this moment.
th-cam.com/video/e4EcD8F0XJM/w-d-xo.html
This one is about what to do when your life feels like it doesn't matter:
th-cam.com/video/G-oZipQzwuc/w-d-xo.html
And this one is about your mind and negative and positive bias.
th-cam.com/video/AVHNYxBVkVA/w-d-xo.html
Watch them and let me know how you feel after.... if you have any questions or if you just need some more support...
I mean it... Let me know.
my friends all went to the movies a while ago without me and it still hurts so much. and on that day i confronted them about it and all they did was continue to make excuses and excuses. one fo them was “we kinda already knew you wouldn’t be able to go” like that’s legit not excuse for not inviting me. and it was in this group chat but now they never talk in that one since they have one without me and that all where they talk nowa days
Its hard when your friends don't hear you and make excuses to try to explain away how you feel. Here is the thing, you can't control people. When you rely on them being or acting a particularly way so that you can feel good or validated, you put your power in their incapable hands. I love that you spoke your truth, that is super valuable. But the more valuable thing is to figure out how you want to feel and then find a way to feel that regardless of the environment around you. So, tell me how do you want to feel in friendship?
th-cam.com/video/CggBtitcjCo/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/LqZZ9QMrTC8/w-d-xo.html
i always get left out and they always talk on their phone with eachother ,so i dont hear something what they talking. and they always make photos but without me only one and then someone said we cant do this this is sad for her we cant do this and then they started laughing and didnt stop. i was so sad inside they just dont know how it feels and you always walk in the back and they always puch me on the side ( i seriously wanna stop this i am not happy anymore i always cry the whole night and inside)
Well that just sounds terrible.
I have a few other videos that I think will help you shift your perspective so that you can feel better.
This one is a game changer. It's all about not taking things personally but using them to personally help you. :
th-cam.com/video/t-nLlGXD6NY/w-d-xo.html
This one is about taking conditions off your worth. And to be honest that something that so many people have a hard time with. It's what keeps you lock in a loop of suffering with your friends:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
These two are about you feeling like you belong. Because feeling like you belong is everything when it comes to feeling like you are on the outside:
th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/DdGjDpRaWb8/w-d-xo.html
These two are about shifting from feeling invisible to owning your worth and value! It lays everything out so you can really understand how truly worthy you, even if your circumstance is trying to convince you otherwise.
th-cam.com/video/hCY3TztTnZQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/T6mVDlRT-ao/w-d-xo.html
When you feel like crying at night because you cant stop focusing on them.... try just watch one of these videos so that you can shift your focus back to your beautiful heart.
Keep me posted and let me know how you are feeling!
I have recently been feeling like something is off with me and 3 people in my friend group. I’m not allowed to go out because of this virus but they are. When they go places it’s like they are throwing it in my face by sending things that they did in a group with me in it. I have recently been getting the feeling that they have a separate group chat without me. We were on a Group FaceTime call and they were kinda giving hints and making it obvious. Like they were coughing and saying look what I texted. I just don’t understand. They are doing all this because I have developed a closer friendship with someone else. They always ask were you guys on the phone and we say yes because we are not about to lie. But I feel like this is draining me down. I don’t like feeling left out and I don’t like how they are keeping secrets to make me feel bad.
Wow you are right, that kind of experience would be draining. I am going to tell you some advanced emotional thinking here. You reached out to tell me your story and that says to me you want to learn.
It's draining because anytime you start feeling negative feeling about yourself you are literally stopping the natural energy that flows through you and truth that is fundamental to you.
When other people do things like these "friends" are you have two options.
The First One: You can hold your focus on them and their actions. You can replay how bad they are "making you feel" by doing the blatantly mean things to you or in front of you. Now your focusing on all the things that don't feel good, so you are going to keep building momentum to feeling bad about yourself and your situation. This can passively lead to your doubting your value and worth. You can start to feel small like the weight of their actions are crushing you bit by bit. All of this is draining....
The Second One: You can notice the situation and choose to hold your focus on your own heart and story. Now this will feel challenging until you get the hang of it. But when you do this you allow yourself to truly be the main character of your story rather then just a supporting role in someone elses. You can check in with yourself and see what it is you really want out of a friendship. Have you ever asked yourself that? What do you want out of a friendship or how do you want to feel in a friendship? You also get to take the time to realize that your worth and value have nothing to do with these people or anyone else for that matter.
This moment of discomfort, when used to help you focus, can actually become a place where you build positive energy within your story.
You are a brilliantly unique human being. The only you this world will ever know, the writer of your story and main character that lives it all into existence. No one has the power to make you feel small or left out unless you choose to go with option number one.
If you choose option number two and adjust your focus... you just wait the world around you will start to feel better!
Try watching these to help you shift that focus:
This one is about not taking things personally but using them personally:
th-cam.com/video/t-nLlGXD6NY/w-d-xo.html
This one is about your worth:
th-cam.com/video/VzA9WgrLN2k/w-d-xo.html
These two are about feeling like you belong:
th-cam.com/video/qQ-vd25tO1E/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/DdGjDpRaWb8/w-d-xo.html
and just in case this one is about toxic people:
th-cam.com/video/-AryW1gGkmI/w-d-xo.html
Let me know if they help or if you need more support along the way!
when im hanging out with my friends you know chatting and then when someone comes up with a video game to play other than roblox, somehow mu friends miraculasly have stuff to be able to play it, and then im the only one who cant play it, i feel real left out by this, while they are over there having fun im over here trying to figure how to cure my boredom, and also when i suggest a game that is available to me they just say no even though they havent played it and dont know if its good or bad, are they fake friends or am i being controlling
Well I can't really say if they are being fake friends but if you think about the landscape of friendship you have to realize that you won't always be interested in the same things... or able to participate in the same things... it's up to you to figure out how you want to focus your attention on the situation. There is a positive way of seeing it and a negative way of seeing it and both are equally true... and the brilliant thing is that you get to choose which path of thinking you want to focus your attention on!
Watch this video to see what I mean! th-cam.com/video/dhNobeeK7IU/w-d-xo.html
Then let me know if you have questions on how to apply it to your specific situation!
I have a group of friends but they always leave me out and when I try to bring up a topic they (1 of them) would just shut me down or ignore me and 1 person from my friends group always make jokes about me when we had a group project the four of us we needed to write our names in the back of the project and that person wrote everyones name in the group except me.
Now they don't even ask me I if I want to hang out with them it's like I don't matter anymore it makes me feel like they're using me and does not even talk to me during break. Nowadays I am going alone to the lunch room and stay on my device with no issues but I still feel bad about it like if I leave them it wouldn't make a difference.
I feel you... I really do get where you are. I want to make sure your heart really hears this... You are worth more then the scraps this group of people are giving you. You are worth more then being the punchline to someone's joke.
Please, please, please do not let how they are treating you sneak into the way you think about yourself.
When you find yourself in a situation like this there are two ways it can inhabit your mind.
One way is for it chip away at what you believe about yourself. You start doubting yourself and before you know it you see yourself the way they see you... as a scrap... and you believe that there is something wrong with you because you are seeing yourself through their eyes.
The second way is dig deeper into your own being and find that inner "hell no you don't get to take up residence in my mind" way of thinking. You get to use this experience as a way to fortify what you know about yourself. And if you don't know then let me tell you right now.....
You are the main character of your story and you are author who writes it all into existence. You are worthy, significant and valuable just as you are. You are also more powerful then you probably feel right now.
Do not let yourself become a cheep shot, punchline to someone else's joke, small character in your own story!!!
It's all about point of reference and where your put your mind and what you choose to think.... and get this... all of that leads to how you feel... So if you reach for thoughts that keep you the main character of your own story.... feeling good about what is possible around the corner.... believing in who you really are.... you are going to feel so much better living your life....
And guess what... people who really see you for all that you are... for the way you see yourself.... they will be around the corner waiting to create with you!
Ok... here are a couple other videos that I think will help you!
This one is a direct response to all the comments I got on this video
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This one is about what to do when you feel like you can't have what you want.
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This one is really good and is about 3 things you can do to foster optimism... huge for being the writer of your own story!
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This one is about what to do in a hard situation to keep you on track to what you want.
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Ok... sending you big love your way! I am here to cheer you on! Please keep me posted on how things are going for you!!!
I feel so left out like all of the sudden i find my friends doing activeties together and stuff while i always feel left out and i always get the feeling that there is a second friend group that their all in except for me and it really hurts sometimes yk
I do know... all too well! And I am so sorry you are having to go through it. I just want you to know that you are not alone... I am here to cheer you on, build you up, and remind you just how valuable, significant, and worthy you are no matter what you circumstance may be right now.
If you take one thing away from this comment please know that the way your friends are treating you says more about them then it does about you. Please don't let how they are treating you start to chip away at how you feel about yourself. Believe me it happens more then you might think!
This situation might make you start doubting yourself... but you are not less than, you don't belong on the outside, and you are worthy, significant and valuable as you are! I just don't want your inner dialog to echo the negativity of this situation.
I have tons of videos that I think will help that I am happy to pull for you but I want to really know where your heart is right now and how you are feeling about it... So... let me know and I will support you and cheer you on in the best way that I can!
Sending big supportive love your way!
I have the feeling i dont have any best friend left, but soms small circels of friends. I saw on Facebook that there was an event, a party. A lot of people i know go To that party. No body askt me if i want To join. I don't fit in the circels anymore. Sometimes im included, sometimes im left oud. This vid gave me a good feeling, deep down i do feel sad.
I will tell you this, sometimes you outgrow some friendships and friend circles. The thing you have to watch for is how you feel. If you have grown out of friendship but you feel left out or abandoned in some way, then you have some exciting emotional work to do. If you feel like you are ready and excited to have new people come into your life, then you can offer a thought of gratitude for the people who no longer fit and then wait with enthusiasm for your new tribe of people to show up.
Here are a few more videos that might help give you some additional support.
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