Tamara Bitter.....I doesn’t feel good, I make the effort but when I am with they guys I often wonder if I am the one keeping myself out, because all the other guys are bouncing off each other naturally and I am sort of ‘there~but there’; not just at the gym, but when we hang out and stuff. I am sort of giving up to be honest.
I am still processing it because it seems like I am the one sitting out even though I am around folks. I am starting to believe our survival mechanism as Human Beings is what are forgetting. For me it’s like hearing a tsunami warning and waiting on someone to come rescue you vs you getting up the hill yourself to save your life. Some how it seems to apply in social situations; so you sit back while everyone is digging in or get in.
In conversations I do my best to include others around me. it is rude when others don't do the same. I acknowledge that we have to be assertive, but we should also seek to include others as well in our society in general. Just because our society is, often very pushy and rude, does not mean we have to be as well. I don't like the idea of being overly aggressive in conversation. i think that, often, waiting to be included is a show of respect to others around us.
being excluded is a blessing.Imagine youre like a cameraman.Everyone knows youre their and they ignore and pretend u dont exist..... its okay.They cant see your beauty.But the people that do see your art and beauty...Are worth 1m times more than they will ever be
therobertnewsshow.....I do the same thing as well, but lately I started wondering if it’s just a sign of a weak personality, or my energy just doesn’t mesh with others. I am sort of throwing in the towel to be honest. But at the same time, I am always wondering if I am the one taking myself out of the equation. So I am sort of in between right now, which is why this video sort of opened my eyes a bit.
I agree how miserable it can be to feel left out, because I have experienced it first hand quite a few times. That's why, like you, I try to acknowledge everyone in a conversation.
Same. I've been on that excluded and wish I need more people to chat to and be apart of the happiness. Not just me, but all other people who have been excluded of what some people have been through
I’ve inserted myself in conversations and I thought things were fine. Until they would get lunch without inviting me and go out on outings without inviting me. Which was weird because I was close and part of their group... but I guess they bonded more. So I spoke up about it and they apologized and said they’ll invite me next time. Still didn’t. Basically, nothing works when it’s with inconsiderate people. It’s not you, it’s them. And the best thing to do is to move on
For me the part that hurts is i know this but it still effects me. And I know it’s not me but now everyone around me is the same. I live in a city that is smaller and my neighborhood treats our community like a small town. Where everyone knows everyone. And I made new friends as well but the friends I made started hanging out with the friends I was trying to get away from... and it feels inescapable. It’s really hard to not blame yourself for what everyone else is doing
That sucks May and sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately that group doesn't care. And never did honestly. Yes once you are ostracized (in any setting), you're pretty much done. It's not necessarily inconsiderate people (though it is 9/10). It's people who crave familiarity. And people that are content with the familiar aren't looking for unfamiliar. They're actively or passive aggressively avoiding it. Perhaps there was something "unfamiliar" about you (ideas, thoughts, aspirations, etc. etc.). I applaud you for getting up and leaving. Not many people have the strength to do that.
I love u for this message cos I've been through the same thing and I could feel your sadness. Unfortunately it is still happening so I would love your advice to help me feel comfortable
My 2 other friends frequently go to eachothers houses for sleepovers and to hang out. And they never think of inviting me. Yes I have talked to them about it and nothing's changed :/:(
I remember when I was young, I had two so called friends. It was Valentine Day and they bought each other gifts to exchange. I was not even told about it. I was left out. Trust me. I know the feeling of not having your frienship valued and being taken for granted.
I feel you completely because I had issues with social awkwardness and the only way for me to be heard was talking too loudly or jump in and interrupt in conversations. Now i started to do self reflection and realized how annoying I was to another people.
You can't win. You either wait to be spoken to and get left out or jump in and interrupt and then annoy people so that they'll not include you even more...
Sohaib Ahmed, People have called me quiet throughout my life yet I'm always the one who has to talk to other people first or else no one will ever speak to me.. At work every one will sit & chat away in our lunch break & I have to jump into the conversations just so people will talk to me & just so I can be included.. It's hard when you have to try so hard.. Then you see others who don't have to try at all.
I used to be that one secretly shy girl who fought her awkwardness with a lot of humor that ended up giving me a lucker little spark of charisma, I even became extremely outgoing and almost completely confident, even when I felt like running away deep inside...until I started noticing how people started avoiding me and friends that met each other because of me started going out without me, little by little, until literally none of them cared about me, I knew that because I would try to get close to them again and they would just brush me off. Tbh, it's been so long since I made new actual friends, that I just became downright anxious and awkward and people avoid me even more even when I remain just as friendly and inclusive in my conversations as always lmao it's tragically funny. I don't know if it's only me, but it seems like recently some people have been acting like they hate to be treated nicely, they just want you to be as pushy, overly sassy and rude as they are, but when you are, they get offended and go away, but if you act the same as you were before, they see you as lame and boring and go away anyway, like wtf, how do I socialize anymore? lol
Sorry to hear you are going through that. I'm on a similar journey. Honestly be who you authentically are, and the right people- your people- will come into your life. Keep your head up and remember to be kind to yourself :)
Ikr i really feel you like im tryin to come out or ge out of my confort zone but the people around me or the situations dont work up. And theres this girl in class she chats me everyday until one day i ask a question if shes close to this girl whos good in math yada yada then she act like she dont know and now she fc around and have a group excluding me
Lisa Park Ugh. Sometimes people suck : ( Check out this episode of my podcast. It will help you embrace your shyness! shrinkfortheshyguy.com/podcast/the-benefits-of-shyness-with-dr-lynne-henderson/
If your friends are calling you lame or a loner they're not real friends. Concentrate on developing yourself. I'm the same. Still working on it myself. Keep highlighting your good qualities to yourself. Forget these so called friends. Good luck
Good point Catharine. We can only go so far in a conversation, especially if someone is very closed off or closed-minded. AND, I've found that sometimes we can connect way more than we thought possible, if we take a moment and ask ourselves, "what am I most curious about this person?" I've ended up talking to some dude about construction for 15 minutes and I don't know anything about construction or really care to do it myself. I just kept following my fascination and asking him the questions I wanted to ask him about his field.
Get More Confidence you can try and flip it around and give them attention all they want, but at the end of the day you deserve to reap what you sow. And if I’m putting out goodness just to sort of subtly manipulate or seduce them into conversation with me, what’s actually gained here? Sure I won the current battle of the day in this giant ego we fight within standard workplace or even friendship/platonic politics - why keep giving when you know it won’t be reciprocated but instead mocked and belittled? It can be defeating to someone who continuously reinstills hope in an individual or organization
I can’t even describe how bad it makes me feel being ignored. One time, I was in a group chat with all my friends and it took them a good 20 minutes to wonder why I wasn’t talking! I started crying and they didn’t even notice. It felt like I was trapped and I was screaming for help but no one noticed. I deal with that DAILY! And to top it all off I have about 2 toxic friends that I have to deal with and can’t escape from. I wish I could be more confident so people would actually care about me
Don't give up your confidence journey. Use my resources to help you to keep moving forward... 1) First, stay in the loop by going here and signing up for my newsletter: socialconfidencecenter.com/products/5-steps-to-unleash-your-inner-confidence/ In the process, you’ll receive my ebook that has helped thousands of people, “5 Steps To Unleash Your Inner Confidence.” You’ll also receive a lot of helpful tips and information on a regular basis as well as access to resources only available to subscribers. 2) Subscribe to my podcast here: www.ShrinkForTheShyGuy.com If offers great information for both men and women, including interviews with other leaders in the field of confidence and social anxiety. 3) Subscribe to my TH-cam channel here. (Don’t forget to click on the notification bell icon!) I release at least one new video every week! th-cam.com/users/GetMoreConfidence 4) Follow me on Facebook! facebook.com/DrAzizGazipura/ 5) Browse through my published books on specific confidence issues and how to crush them! DrAzizBooks.com 6) Check out my next live event. These weekend intensive experiences are life changing! socialconfidencecenter.com/events/ 7. Check out my flagship confidence-building program, Confidence University: www.theconfidenceuniversity.com
I dont know if i should watch this video since i dont know whats happening on school but Some girls are laughing at me when they look at me and i dont know why and my best friend is now best friends with my old best friend that is mean to me so i dont know what to do right now...
@@ducke4963 cut ties with your best friend and try to get some new friends. Try to be nice to everyone. Complement them, help them with their homework etc. If that's not possible then don't worry. Wherever you are , there is always someone with the same interests as you , or maybe someone that actually likes you.If you can't find that person , it's ok. School isn't just for meeting new people. You go to school to learn new things. So try to participate at your class as much as you can. As for the breaks. If you are alone try to make things slowly. Eat slowly, walk slowly . You can also stay in the bathroom until the break is done .
@@ducke4963 For starters, you socialize. So making friends do not always mean becoming there friends. What matters is you get involved and not ever give in to entitlement. Knowing when to walk away peacefully would show them respect. You don't have to be there friends to get along with them. So it is ok to settle for having an associates.
Here is a quote I heard recently that really helped me find the strength to make a change. "On your last day on Earth, the person you are will meet the person you could have become" Never let fear stop you from being who you are, or doing what you wanna do. Live you life to your potential.
One of the biggest reason why I am so happy that I finally finished school, I don't have to deal with feeling left out anymore. My last two years at school were really bad 'cause of this, so bad that I even hated lunch breaks or any free time there.
I feel you. Back in the 90s, the school used to have the rules that say only seniors gets to leave campus during lunch breaks. When I leave campus, I go to restaurants that is right across the street from that high school. Good thing I can enjoy my lunch there before lunch break is over and then make it back to class on time. If you ever have the right to eat outside of campus, take that chance so that way, you fit in. You don't have to act like a student when all the other customers in that restaurant are not students and can eat by themselves. During that hour, nobody brings kids to restaurants. It doesn't matter if it is fast food or any average dine in restaurant. In restaurants outside of school campus, you will enjoy lunch breaks where if other people can come in alone, so can you. Outside of school, you fit in when you have solitude life.
@@hp2546 Well sir, that actually sounds really good that you could have some solitude and nice quiet time. However, at my school, we were not allowed to leave the school premises before the last class, and studying at an all girls school kind of worsened my whole situation. Honestly, after my whole schooling years, it scares me a bit about my college time. Though I think as much as I disliked my time there, it certainly gave me an incentive to be a better person and it gave me strength; And I definitely agree about solitude life, school makes us forget about the marvelous things which exist in the real world, a solitude time with actual fun stuff really gives us the spark that we need for being a cool human being. 90s always sounds so amazing, though.
@@akriti6773 College time should of give you a reason to fit in because you only need to attend class then you head home. You aren't even going to see everybody eating with somebody and you aren't require to use the school campus to eat. You aren't require to socialize in college and you aren't require to bond with anybody. Most people especially full time students would barely have time to hang out because they would spend most of the time in solitude doing homework. High school is a place where hanging out may feel enforced when looking around to see other people hanging out. Where you were from, it feels shameful to be solo because you will see that everybody have a partner except you. In college, majority of students walks in campus alone. Most of them live for themselves. That means you get to be yourself with no shame. Since college is a place where it is about being independent so if majority of people in college live for themselves, you do fit in at college. When you were in college, it won't be like all girls school, all boys school or high school. Even if you have a college roommate in that housing program, they still don't depend on you except just paying rent which means it fits your lifestyle. All those times when you were in all girl school, you had been prepared for college all this time. Of course no teachers in all girls school, all boys school or high school ever tells their students that.
@@akriti6773 I would encourage you to use college time to replace your bad memories you have in all girls school. After all, your primary goal in college is to find your purpose which defeats the purpose of socializing. You might start out as undeclared major which is ok. Or if you decided what you want to major in, great. There are some who don't come back to college when they find a decent job. There are some who will spend most of the solitude life studying in college. Even if you spend your whole life in college with solitude life, it won't effect your future because college is not about finding people to hang out with. Most of the college students will enjoy solitude life which give you a reason to enjoy solitude life. Educational achievements is more important then social life. Many gives up social life for the purpose of achieving educational achievements.
I’m used to this feeling because growing up my parents were very overprotective and didn’t let me hang out with my friends often. So in group chats when they were talking about when they hung out I would feel very left out. But I hope everyone else doesn't have to experience this horrible feeling and that everyone has a good day. Don’t worry you are valued and you are important.😊
This exactly happened to me. And sometimes it makes feel very sad. It’s like feeling a hole in my soul. I just try to pretend that I didn’t heard nothing. And just flow with the conversations. But even this, drains me a lot.
You have a right to feel lonely as a child because your parents imprisoned you in your own home and not giving you permission to out there to socialize.
I feel like I’m a good friend. I feel like I’m a good listener, I feel like I’m entertaining, I feel like I’m not clingy, I feel like I’m fun to be around, I’m social, I feel like I’m relatable, I feel like I’m funny, I feel like I’m a good friend. The last time I had a real friend was in kindergarten. It’s been years. I’ve tried so many different activities and reached out of my comfort zone. I’m on a dance team, and they had a late night. I was the ONLY kid in the group that didn’t get invited (there where 10 kids) I am so depressed, but literally no one cares. I have no one. Edit: and then when I’m down from it they talk about me in front of my face and say I’m “rude” and “moody” and “a bully” someone help me please
It would be helpful if you had both someone your own age and then someone older than you to confide in and ask for assistance with this. Tell them the situation and ask them to observe some of your interactions, see what it looks like from a couple of other perspectives and get some trusted input.
When I was in middle school, I felt the same way about one of my friend groups. I noticed that they always seemed to have an easier time talking amongst themselves. They had inside jokes I wasn’t weighing in on, their humor seemed to become more and more foreign to me, and they seemed to not care at all when I wasn’t there with them. I felt like an outsider looking through the glass. About a year later, I looked back on this, and realized that I simply didn’t fit in with them. I had different interests, different perspectives, different humor, different philosophy, different lifestyle, different everything. I wanted to be in a group that I wasn’t meant to be in. Going further into this, I also understood the group dynamics that caused me to drift from them. I’m an introvert. When I hang out with friends, I started noticing that I start burning out after around an hour. I simply got tired of socializing and went back to my awkward self. I always preferred doing things by myself rather than with other people. Now the group I was in seemed to care more about how well you can socialize to make each other happy. I obviously lost when it came to that factor. I matured. I also realized that I matured at a much faster rate than the friend group I was in at the time. I was going through a rough time, and I had a lot of time to contemplate morals, values, ethics, as well as my beliefs, desires, and insecurities. I gained multiple new perspectives, while my friend group stayed in their middle school teenager mindset. I had different friendship values. The friend group that I was in during middle school, had different friendship values than me. I valued acceptance, tolerance, listening to each other, and cherishing each other, while they valued having a good time together, enjoying the now, and relating to each others’ interests. So from those principles, we naturally drifted. To be honest, I don’t really think they truly cared about me as a human being. That was my experience with being pushed out of a friend group. I can’t speak for you, but my suggestion to you would be to simply see how things go. You’ll want to be more communicative with them, and maybe it’s due to other factors for why you felt more distant. Eventually, you’ll know whether or not to stick with them. At the same time, go out of your comfort zone. Be open-minded and make some friends with other people. Thanks ✌🏻
I totally feel like this is directed towards me, like you're talking to me. I'm in a group of three but I severely left out, to the point where I'm rarely with them or see them. They prefer each other of me and I feel so excluded and worthless
Its not even about being able to budge in, it’s the lack of interest they show when it’s your turn to speak, walking in front with another person and leaves you behind idk 🤷🏻♀️
@@GetMoreConfidence nooo, every single person I encounter haha. I literally see it from the first time I meet them they’re uninterested by the way they introduce themselves to me . And I try to make convo with them with anything along the times we either work together or college or anything . Just no interest , always been alone but it feels good either way
Seeing these messages help me to feel less left out cos we have all been going through this experience. Just remember god is there and he will keep you strong inside.❤❤
That's so true! I had to be 26 to figure this out the way you explained it. I was always silenced as a kid and nobody really was interested in interacting with me. So I didn't feel the permission to just talk to people. At high school I was trying to talk in groups, but nobody paid attention. But here's the thing introverts have problem with: most people don't really care what you say, they just say random stuff so the conversation is fluent. If you think people are gonna be very interested in you, you will feel rejected. The "small talk" is all about showing validation and not going too deep.
As you get older, it sounded like you realize that social life should not mean anything if they don't accept you for who you are. High school on the other hand do not teach people who to handle solitude life. As years went by while you were in college, you realized that you don't need social life to spice up your life. The busier you get, you learn to detach yourself from socializing.
I always try to put myself out there. But when I say something, ask a question about what's said they just pretend not to hear it, thats why I feel left out and stop talking in the convo, eventually exit.
whenever that happens to me I forceably interrupt the conversation and force them to tell me by being the loudest one, doesn't feel great but gets the job done
I'm not shy, but I am being left out. I voice my opinion, I'm not quiet (not LOUD hah) but they seem to care less and less everyday. One of them (at lunch) won't even turn to me to hear me speak (not because they're mad or anything, but because Kaley, the third member of our group sits the other way), and they continue on and seem generally annoyed by my presence, but I really don't know what to do, sharing stories and conversations isn't really working. They hang out all the time, no matter how much I suggest and ask there is always an excuse. They have become very close, I respect and love both of them, but honestly, stressing about this has ruined a piece of me, no matter how much I attempt to talk and grab their interest, they won't stop excluding. I don't know what to do. Help?
Grace Rutledge Sorry to hear that Grace - being excluded is super painful. If you are showing up fully as yourself and people are excluding you, the key is to NOT buy into it and try to seek their approval more. The key (as HARD as it is), is to walk away. I know that can be scary and tough, but finding people who appreciate you and your energy more is going to be very liberating in the long run. Good luck!
I feel like this most days. Especially when I am at work. It really is emotionally draining at times. Of course you have to make an effort yourself to interact, but it is very difficult when the people around you are self centered and constantly carry on as if you are invisible.
You know what join the club I feel the same as you do and it's annoying for real. But you only just be yourself and that's all you can do and just remember this that No one is better than you
At work, it is best to go there just to make money. Don't socialize unless it is business related. Otherwise if they see that you are desperate for attention, you are not accepted. Even if you first started in interviews, if you fail the elevator pitch, you most likely will fail in socializing. So at least you have a job which should be good enough. Coworkers don't matter if they don't see you as a valuable individual. In business, you only focus on pleasing bosses or clients based on business related activities but no requirement to please them in socializing. Anyone can be good in business and not have friends.
Ok I have a question for you. What if you're very shy around groups/in social situations and you want to have friends and socialize, but at the same time you DON'T want to socialize, preferring to be left alone? Does that make sense? That's how I am. I want to socialize but at the same time I don't want to. Why do you think that is? What does that mean?
This perfectly describes just about every interaction I've had. I've started speaking more but still feel like people just want me to hush...so I've decided to close myself off until it feels right. Decided not to force what ain't working but I really like this video because finally someone who gets it and it's great to see different ways to deal with this.
I never worked but I did experience being left out every day at school or family gathering. Now I am just getting prepared for getting a job and read self help books/articles to help me deal with my future boss and coworkers
Get More Confidence I am watching TH-cam videos on how to do well on interviews and I also practice my oral communication skills because I stutter a lot
i am without job and almost no friends here. Feel like in between 2 worlds and have both no part of it. it feels like left out of the community, society
Hubby comes from a large family we have been married for nearly 17 years with 4 children. Yesterday ( good friday) I discovered someone in the family ( thanks to social media) had a big Easter hunt for the kids ( over 30 kids) but didn't think to message me beforehand and say hey we are having a Easter hunt please bring the kids out. Mind you it's not the first time. If someone has a problem with you don't take it out on the kids. This event was suppose to be on messenger and over 20 adults ( hubby sisters, cousins, nephews, nieces,) not one had the thought to add me to the group chat. So I will return the favour and my eldest daughter wants only her friends no cousins at all which is sad ut my eldest 2 have notice this too. 😢
But you were physically part of the family egg hunt. So far, you already have your hubby which counts as having a friend. Numbers do not mean anything. Quality is better then quantity. Other people's kids should not matter to you. If you focus on your marriage and your 4 kids, then you should not feel lonely. Never mind about other people's lives. Your hubby and your 4 kids is your responsibility. If you try to make anyone else's kids your responsibility, your mind will only get stuck feeling lonely.
my advice to be honest if they dont treat you like a friend by bringing you in the conversation or sharing talks with you my advice is let them go and find new friends that really treat you beautifull and shared talks with you and like you as who you are period
I always feel like i am being left out. Even though me and my friends hang out most of the time, some are always hanging out without me, and posting about it too, even though I told them that they always post when I’m not invited. I’m scared to tell them. Sometimes I find myself crying or tearing up every day. I don’t think I did anything wrong
It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. If you're hurt you should talk with them about it. Additionally, consider this. In a large group friends, there's no one is obligated to invite everyone to do everything together every time. At times you may not be invited. At other times you will be and someone else may not. As long as you're not excluded all the time, this might be normal.
for me, i joined my friend group in middle school while they were already friends in elementary and everything seemed to be fine. i understood that i was new and it would take some time for me to get into the group and it’s been two years. at school we would all sit together at lunch and they would acknowledge me. then over the summer i would ask to hang out with them but they never could and the later i would see them hanging out together on social media. i have a feeling that if i speak up about it it’ll start soo much drama, which i don’t want. and i don’t know what to do. this always seems to happen to me. in every friend group i’m in it always happens and i don’t know what i’m doing wrong. i’m a good listener, funny, and i care so much about them but i don’t think they care about me.
I've felt this so many times that when someone actually makes the effort to make me feel included, it means the world to me and I immediately feel attached to that person.
That is a correct mindset. When a person include you, that would mean you are attach to personality over looks. After all, they include you and all you did is say yes.
That feeling of being left out happened to me at work today but I honestly think it was a racial thing but that's not my problem if you have a problem with the way I was born that's on you. Everyone was thinking why didn't you get her something because I'm the nicest sweetest person. But I was thinking her money her choice and if it is an underlying issue she's just showing everyone her true colors but a blessing came my way in the process I found your channel and just subscribed. But I was also thinking to myself if my co-workers really cared they all could have stepped up and said what about her she didn't get one but nobody did so that just tells you something & actions speak louder than words.
Rule no. 1 is so real for me like I've been a good student/child and only focused on my studies bec. My parents are strict and not following rules scared me. Which is why I can't speak to a total stranger if not asked. I would literally stay silent unless someone asks me questions 😅
Tomorrow is my first public speech in my communication class. I saw your video"how to overcame your fear in public speaking" it's going to help me a lot! Thank you and keep going!
thank you. ever since i met my husband's family 14 years ago his family made a conscious effort to make me feel unwelcome (yes one is a narcissist and the other is a psychopath) and they decided to never 'hear' what i was saying or 'see' me. but i knew very well they could hear and see me. they would look round the corner of my eye for a reaction. i do indeed matter but i cant make ppl listen or pay attention if they dont want to.
Sometimes when you try to get into the group conversation, and somehow you managed to insert yourself and caught every persons attention .Problem comes when you have to sustain their interest in it.That's when person gets more anxious. Please tell how to manage yourself at that moment. Thanks
What hurts most is when your main tactic was inserting yourself in... and you’ve been doing it for years and i moved back to my hometown and inserting myself in didn’t work. It’s a very effective tactic. But when it didn’t work it really got to my head. Makes me wonder that if everyone is mistreating me if it’s actually my fault. I really don’t know what to think anymore
i have 2 friends and a bunch of associates but im a third wheel with the two friends i have they are each others best friends.i dont have a best friend and i feel like i never have anything to say im find myself just sitting there looking crazy because im too quiet and dont know what to talk about.im in high school and in a band so this is very depressing for me and everyday i feel left out because im just a 3rd wheel and this is why i hate school and anything social because i feel anti social but i dont want to be i just cant help it
This was very helpful, especially the reminder that what we have to say also matters. But I don’t think you considered what if these two people have pitted themselves against you and have you set up to be rejected if you make any attempt to insert yourself? You can only ignore intended disses towards yourself for so long until you have to finally give it up and accept that those people do not like you or want you in the conversation (and they want to make that clear, but in a very passive aggressive way )
Dear Dr. Aziz! You have an awesome way to describe and act out precisely what I feel in Social Interaction. Perceiving my behavior , my body language and my inner believes on screen is a good training. It is as if I saw myself first time from the outside and it makes me understand that some of my daily patterns are absurde and neither helpful to me nor to others. That's a great technique to help people, thank you for that!
So true about being seen and not heard. My xbf never waited for a personal invite. If people from work were going out, he'd just show up and assume he was welcome. I envied him that ability to not even give a thought to whether or not anybody wanted him to show up. He just thought "i want to go".
Don't follow that example and there is no reason to be jealous. Your xbf goes in uninvited. That means people do feel annoyed by him but just couldn't confront him about it. Going uninvited is annoying. Maybe all the people in the party felt annoyed but too scared to confront your xbf. Going to places illegally cannot be considered a successful life. Your xbf is just humiliating himself. Think about this as a similar example. If you see someone break into someone's home or breaking into high level military facility, are you going to feel jealous about it? The answer is there is no need. So going uninvited is not something you need to feel jealous about. That person went in without consent. You don't want to follow that person's example as your role model. To give similar examples, would you rather earn money legally or would you rather rob the bank? That is a similar is example stating that earning something legally is supposed to be something to be jealous about. If all that person does is steals, that isn't something to be envy about.
I was left out from the beginning ... I was the last child and we had considerable age difference. I was left out in all discussions ... I loved my cousin and was close to them but when I was very young they left our city... I wanted to have friends at school and my mom was separating me from them to study instead ... and this being left out continued in my entire life ... later I got chronically ill ..and claiming is even more difficult because my energy is limited to constantly remind others and fight for their attention and fairness. this really made me turn inward and ..
I'd say it's more likely you're paying attention to the wrong people, or the wrong group of people. Maybe you'd like to seek out people that have more in common with you, similar goals, life views, etc.?
To all the people put here feeling left out, i feel the same. its even hard waking up to meet them again cause i dont want to Experience that feeling again. Though even today, it felt like that, i decided that i matter a lot in this world. And really i have so many people around me who love me and respect me for who i am. My advice is that, you dont need to force yourself to be a part of a group, where you dont even matter. Instead, please try speaking to others, and just having casual convos... it feels lots better, and makes you feel like you are seen. And also, start doing things to make yourself feel better. Do your hobbies, work out or anything. So that, your mind doesnt keeps on thinking about your "friends". Work on yourself, and one day you will shine more than you ever had.
Yes. By getting used to solitude life, that solitude life won't feel like imprisonment. Even if that covid 19 pandemic were to happen, those lock downs won't bother those who is comfortable in solitude life. Whole point is to learn how to detach. After all, no point depending on those who isn't going to be there for us. The point is don't treat them like a babysitter. If we get obsessed, they will have reasons to kick us out of their lives. We all have to learn to love ourselves so that way, they don't look down at us. That same rule will even have to eventually apply to elevator pitch in job interviews. If they sense we are lonely, they would not take us in. By feeling comfortable in solitude life, I would call that independent. We live in a world where if we want people to accept us, we have to act like we are independent individual. No point being anyone's doormat just to fit in.
Being shy is tough. But i am always left out.in a group of five they formed 2 group of two and i was sitting blank in the middle with nothing to do .just blank.😭😟
@@arulajoy8060 I don't want to just suggest learning something and not give you options for boosting your confidence. Take full advantage of all my free (mostly) online resources… 1) First, stay in the loop by going here and signing up for my newsletter: socialconfidencecenter.com/products/5-steps-to-unleash-your-inner-confidence/ In the process, you’ll receive my ebook that has helped thousands of people, “5 Steps To Unleash Your Inner Confidence.” You’ll also receive a lot of helpful tips and information on a regular basis as well as access to resources only available to subscribers. 2) Subscribe to my podcast here: www.ShrinkForTheShyGuy.com If offers great information for both men and women, including interviews with other leaders in the field of confidence and social anxiety. 3) Subscribe to my TH-cam channel here. (Don’t forget to click on the notification bell icon!) I release at least one new video every week! th-cam.com/users/GetMoreConfidence 4) Follow me on Facebook! facebook.com/DrAzizGazipura/ 5) Browse through my published books on specific confidence issues and how to crush them! DrAzizBooks.com 6) Check out my next live event. These weekend intensive experiences are life changing! socialconfidencecenter.com/events/ 7. Check out my flagship confidence-building program, Confidence University: www.theconfidenceuniversity.com
ive felt this way for so many years.. and feeling this way is the reason why my whole life crumbled to the ground tbh. i left my friend group because i felt excluded, but i was most definitely overreacting… it felt like i was no ones best friend, which is such a stupid reason that i felt that way and i hate myself for that. ive felt truly alone ever since i left them, even after i came back to the group 1 year later. i didnt feel included anymore and forgot how to socialise well. i hope one day ill find some genuine friends where i can feel truly happy and myself. i hope we can all overcome this feeling because its such a horrible feeling
Got to understand that the #1 rule of dealing with break up is not to initiate contact. Remember that you left your friend group which means if you go back to them, you will have to be their doormat and apologize for things you didn't do. Once you leave, it is not easy to come crawling back. Think how difficult it would be if that were a job you voluntarily quit. Once you do that, you cannot expect that company to want you back. Same rules apply in friend group. Once you initiate leaving, they think you don't want to come back. When you come back, you will have to be sincere which isn't going to be that easy to do. It would require you to beg and show how desperate you are. That is why once you leave, you got to move on. There is no crawling back once you leave.
Sometimes something critical happens to me. In certain situation like today, where I performed badly during a football game i really felt unworthy with myself, and by looking at the others laughing and being normal my situation worsened. So then I started feeling myself off compared to my friends in that situation, like I had no value and I suddently began to wait for someone to care about me and love me. But that just didn't happen, some of my friends where talking about hanging out while I felt automatically excluded from the conversation because I had no energy, so I went home with a mixed feeling of invisibility, unworthiness and feeling behind/inferior to other that is very hard to describe.
Hi. I found this video very interesting. I am a 21 year old girl with asperger's syndrome. I am in college. I am currently rooming with two 20 year old girls who are both very outgoing. I feel unwelcome, like I'm the third wheel. My roommates are always eager to leave the room and hang out with other people, leaving me behind almost every time. Whenever I interact with them it always feels like they are just giving me forced politeness rather than actual friendship. Sometimes it feels like my needs are ignored and like I'm the unnecessary roommate. I have bad self confidence issues because of my lack of social skills. I was also bullied in school as a kid and sexually abused by an ex boyfriend as a teen in high school. I think your video is enlightening but I would like to know of any more resources towards people like me. A lot of the resources for autism/asperger's syndrome are for children. I feel like there aren't many resources for me because most resources and research seems to be geared towards male autistics or children with autism. I am a bit different from most cases because an adult woman with other disorders and health issues (some congenital, some courtesy of abuse/trauma). I feel like I operate on a different groove of the world and there is no one else that 'gets it'. I've been working with a therapist for several years but learning social skills and recovering from what happened in high school has been a slow process.
Before what you said at 2:47 and on, is how I really thought it should be wth, I always try to be a polite person not barging into people's lives when I'm not being asked to. I'm 24 and when I turned 16 I started getting depression so after that, I started disconnecting from people, but I'm here on this because I felt the unincluded card with my dad's side of our family, but to be fair they never showed us they cared about us, so this is an eye-opener for me. I posted one thing on a day of a family event thanking them for not including me (I didn't want to mention my sisters cause it was me posting it), that was partly about them but mostly about my father not including me and my sisters, they all ignored us still and just gave us dirty looks when we arrived and laughed at me. This was not that long ago. I really needed closure on knowing had the right to feel the way I felt is probably gonna help me get over my social anxiety and all the hurt and stress I've been going through over people who don't even care but, on a real note, it hurts way more when they're related to you and you were raised with them.
Thank you! this has really helped me. I feel left out a lot and doubt I am good enough to be liked by people (think it is partly because I wasn't ever included as a kid). got any other videos that could help me overcome these deep dark places?
Dude, I've watched like 20 of your videos into the wee hours! I like your videos because unlike some of the other self help videos, I relate so much to how you describe how these negative things feel that I can tell you were once just like I am. It really inspires to step up to the plate!
I just hung out with two of my closest friends. Two of them spoke in detail about some of the darkest most painful details of their life tears, the whole lot, and when I began to share, they just got up and left. I then reminded them and told me I wanted to talk about it because they made me feel left out and that no one cared they just ignored me and went back to a party we where at at the time.
I can relate to that. Also I have sometimes contradicting feelings where I feel bad about not being included but no real interest in the conversation or those people either to motivate me to do something about including myself. Like I wish they would have invited me so I could refuse. Don't know why that is.
I have 2 BFF’s and we were very happy we always play and talk and vid call but my mic broke and I couldn’t play for a bit for like 3-4 months and when i wanted to play after my mic got fix they found a new BFF and now whenever i play with them they kick me out of servers in the game sometimes ignore me and i got sweared once.
I've always been treated like and felt like shit... I have my moments of "glow," but most times, I'm overlooked, unseen, and forgotten. I don't have any friends for real. I've always been loyal and loving to ppl, but then they meet others and change, and I become more reclusive and disheartened. I'm funny, blunt, and loyal with a big heart, but somehow, that's NEVER enough.
I feel the same!! I was trying to get away from my old “friends” and so I moved on and made new ones. My new friends started hanging out with my old friends... and we got to pick our seats in class and my old friends table picked one of my new friends to sit with them... and not me. And I’ll come and sit by them regardless of the seating chart and two of the girls will tell me to get off their table and go to the other one cause that’s not where I am “supposed to sit” I’m so sick of people being rude. I’m sorry and I hope your feel better bro!! People suck sometimes
I made the experience of being told "It's not all about you." so often when I tried to share own experiences etc without being specifically asked about it.
I was in a group of 4. It was fun everyday. It expanded to 5 and then there's more fun. I left out of my elementary to go to another school while they still stay at my former school. Suddenly they added people I don't know and they said they were trusted and sincere. And then they added more and more. They talk about their school life while I'm here feeling left out. I understand that I'm far from them but still. Just feels like I'm not needed with them anymore.
Everytime I stay with my friends they always say oh I need to talk to you in private like it's annoying and they expect me to tell them secrets. BUT YOUR VIDEO HELPED THX SO MUCH
@@GetMoreConfidence it's just everyone I've ever been around my whole life. They're not bad people. I just feel like I'm invisible and even when I speak and try to be social I'm just not heard.
3:40 this the part you say that I should ask question. The problem is, in my circle nobody bothers answering me. I feel worthless man,they just look at me for some seconds and then the worst happens. They start another story.
Two things come to mind. First, you may need to sharpen your conversation skills. I have several videos here on my channel that will help you with that. Second, the people you're trying to interact with may not be worth your effort. Perhaps it's time for a friend upgrade?
I have tried those things, with every single group and I've ever been in, and every single place and I've ever been, whether it be the local bar, or church. I'm just going to say for a fact, and no offense to you the creator of this video, but the fact is that people are not drawn to me at all. they do not care about me, they do not want to know me, they do not remember me. I know that often times I come across the boring, and I guess then perhaps having a deep somewhat soft baritone voice probably doesn't help either. whenever I speak up, people basically ignore me, there always seemed to be more interested in chatting with each other then what. And therefore I end up always on the outside looking in. some people just don't frankly fit, and I am one of them. I have never fit in anywhere, and I probably never will. Anyone who ever did I have an initial interest in me, they basically would dump me after a while. I remember when I used to go to church, they would say that God is good. Well if God is so good, then why the hell am I suffering so much? The way I see it either he ain't real, or He just plain don't like me.
Rule books are different for oppressed groups. Inserting oneself into an interaction doesn’t pay when you belong to a marginalized group. You are labelled aggressive, rude, invalidated in many ways no matter how careful and respectful you put yourself out there.
I haven't seen this to be a truism at all. This may be one of many stories your inner critic is supporting that may not be as true are you believe it is at this moment in time.
4:01 I try doing this. I try doing this all the time. They either respond with "oh" or completely ignore me. This happens to every single person I talk to. I can't stop it, I don't know what's wrong with me. What do they want me to change about myself? What do they hate so much about me that they want me to feel left out on purpose?
@@quack. you surrounded yourself with the wrong group of people from the beginning I would guess, you could also directly confront them about it, what is it that they hate so much, and just keep on insisting until you get a fair answer
I have a friend and him and me were such good friends until this girl kept talking to him non stop and I tried to talk to her and him but they ignored me and left me out and I just sat there all awkwardly....
The thing is I do fit in I wear Gucci and Jordan's and name brand shit I talk about the same shit they talk about I play basketball like them I appreciate the same things as them and I even smoke like them but they are always leaving me out I have more than them and they leave me out of conversations in always made fun of more than anyone else in the group in always judged for being myself I can't even express my emotions around them I just want to fit in I want school to not feel like an awkward depressing ass place I just want a best friend or a girlfriend I just want someone to call me there friend and give a shit
is it just me or it is really sad that we actually searched for this video just to overcome being left out. :((
Not sad at all. It's quest for self-improvement and and a fulfilling life.
yes
Same.
@Clayton Rogers is nots that easy
man worst feeling .
it's not nice making some one feel left out
Try telling my "friends" that
They’re called Cobras
@@shadykadry mine too
Tamara Bitter.....I doesn’t feel good, I make the effort but when I am with they guys I often wonder if I am the one keeping myself out, because all the other guys are bouncing off each other naturally and I am sort of ‘there~but there’; not just at the gym, but when we hang out and stuff. I am sort of giving up to be honest.
I am still processing it because it seems like I am the one sitting out even though I am around folks. I am starting to believe our survival mechanism as Human Beings is what are forgetting. For me it’s like hearing a tsunami warning and waiting on someone to come rescue you vs you getting up the hill yourself to save your life. Some how it seems to apply in social situations; so you sit back while everyone is digging in or get in.
We should make a group of all the people that feel left out and one day we all meet up and nobody will ever have to feel that way again
Nice idea!
Please!
🙏🏽
Yes please
Do any of u live near dover
In conversations I do my best to include others around me. it is rude when others don't do the same. I acknowledge that we have to be assertive, but we should also seek to include others as well in our society in general. Just because our society is, often very pushy and rude, does not mean we have to be as well. I don't like the idea of being overly aggressive in conversation. i think that, often, waiting to be included is a show of respect to others around us.
therobertnewsshow happens to me too
being excluded is a blessing.Imagine youre like a cameraman.Everyone knows youre their and they ignore and pretend u dont exist.....
its okay.They cant see your beauty.But the people that do see your art and beauty...Are worth 1m times more than they will ever be
therobertnewsshow.....I do the same thing as well, but lately I started wondering if it’s just a sign of a weak personality, or my energy just doesn’t mesh with others. I am sort of throwing in the towel to be honest. But at the same time, I am always wondering if I am the one taking myself out of the equation. So I am sort of in between right now, which is why this video sort of opened my eyes a bit.
I agree how miserable it can be to feel left out, because I have experienced it first hand quite a few times. That's why, like you, I try to acknowledge everyone in a conversation.
.... imagine waiting to be included...
And then you're waiting forever.
...nobody came.
I feel this every single day.
MDR Hogan same
Same
Yeah, it hurts, but I guess it isn't their fault since they don't know that your feeling left out. I always feel this way also.
This is so helpful
Same. I've been on that excluded and wish I need more people to chat to and be apart of the happiness. Not just me, but all other people who have been excluded of what some people have been through
I’ve inserted myself in conversations and I thought things were fine. Until they would get lunch without inviting me and go out on outings without inviting me. Which was weird because I was close and part of their group... but I guess they bonded more. So I spoke up about it and they apologized and said they’ll invite me next time. Still didn’t. Basically, nothing works when it’s with inconsiderate people. It’s not you, it’s them. And the best thing to do is to move on
+1 for moving on in this type of situation
I had the same experience. Just make your own friends.
For me the part that hurts is i know this but it still effects me. And I know it’s not me but now everyone around me is the same. I live in a city that is smaller and my neighborhood treats our community like a small town. Where everyone knows everyone. And I made new friends as well but the friends I made started hanging out with the friends I was trying to get away from... and it feels inescapable. It’s really hard to not blame yourself for what everyone else is doing
That sucks May and sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately that group doesn't care. And never did honestly.
Yes once you are ostracized (in any setting), you're pretty much done. It's not necessarily inconsiderate people (though it is 9/10). It's people who crave familiarity. And people that are content with the familiar aren't looking for unfamiliar. They're actively or passive aggressively avoiding it. Perhaps there was something "unfamiliar" about you (ideas, thoughts, aspirations, etc. etc.). I applaud you for getting up and leaving. Not many people have the strength to do that.
I love u for this message cos I've been through the same thing and I could feel your sadness. Unfortunately it is still happening so I would love your advice to help me feel comfortable
My 2 other friends frequently go to eachothers houses for sleepovers and to hang out. And they never think of inviting me. Yes I have talked to them about it and nothing's changed :/:(
my two friends are starting to do that i just hate the feeling
Feel the same 😕
Stirlingite 555 They are not FRIENDS!!
Stirlingite 555 sam i hate life
I remember when I was young, I had two so called friends. It was Valentine Day and they bought each other gifts to exchange. I was not even told about it. I was left out. Trust me. I know the feeling of not having your frienship valued and being taken for granted.
I often times have to jump in and interrupt in conversations just to be heard.
I feel you completely because I had issues with social awkwardness and the only way for me to be heard was talking too loudly or jump in and interrupt in conversations. Now i started to do self reflection and realized how annoying I was to another people.
Me too
You can't win. You either wait to be spoken to and get left out or jump in and interrupt and then annoy people so that they'll not include you even more...
sohaib ahmed I try and do that with my friends but they just ignore me
Sohaib Ahmed, People have called me quiet throughout my life yet I'm always the one who has to talk to other people first or else no one will ever speak to me.. At work every one will sit & chat away in our lunch break & I have to jump into the conversations just so people will talk to me & just so I can be included.. It's hard when you have to try so hard.. Then you see others who don't have to try at all.
I used to be that one secretly shy girl who fought her awkwardness with a lot of humor that ended up giving me a lucker little spark of charisma, I even became extremely outgoing and almost completely confident, even when I felt like running away deep inside...until I started noticing how people started avoiding me and friends that met each other because of me started going out without me, little by little, until literally none of them cared about me, I knew that because I would try to get close to them again and they would just brush me off. Tbh, it's been so long since I made new actual friends, that I just became downright anxious and awkward and people avoid me even more even when I remain just as friendly and inclusive in my conversations as always lmao it's tragically funny. I don't know if it's only me, but it seems like recently some people have been acting like they hate to be treated nicely, they just want you to be as pushy, overly sassy and rude as they are, but when you are, they get offended and go away, but if you act the same as you were before, they see you as lame and boring and go away anyway, like wtf, how do I socialize anymore? lol
I feel you on a spiritual level
Sorry to hear you are going through that. I'm on a similar journey. Honestly be who you authentically are, and the right people- your people- will come into your life. Keep your head up and remember to be kind to yourself :)
Yep
I feel you. I struggle with this and it’s a really painful and horrible feeling.
Ikr i really feel you like im tryin to come out or ge out of my confort zone but the people around me or the situations dont work up. And theres this girl in class she chats me everyday until one day i ask a question if shes close to this girl whos good in math yada yada then she act like she dont know and now she fc around and have a group excluding me
I'm a very shy person and people take that as my weakness and call me lame or a square or a loner..
its like i don't want to live anymore:(
:( cheer up. Just keep faking it til you get there. See you at the top!
thanx:/
Lisa Park Ugh. Sometimes people suck : (
Check out this episode of my podcast. It will help you embrace your shyness!
shrinkfortheshyguy.com/podcast/the-benefits-of-shyness-with-dr-lynne-henderson/
Lisa Park me too
If your friends are calling you lame or a loner they're not real friends. Concentrate on developing yourself. I'm the same. Still working on it myself. Keep highlighting your good qualities to yourself. Forget these so called friends. Good luck
I have learned to insert myself, but people still will leave you out if you just don't share similar values or interests
Good point Catharine. We can only go so far in a conversation, especially if someone is very closed off or closed-minded. AND, I've found that sometimes we can connect way more than we thought possible, if we take a moment and ask ourselves, "what am I most curious about this person?"
I've ended up talking to some dude about construction for 15 minutes and I don't know anything about construction or really care to do it myself. I just kept following my fascination and asking him the questions I wanted to ask him about his field.
Yes I agree with that too. Im very curiius and engaging with others. I have more trouble with others also listening to my stories too
Catharine River-Rain true
Get More Confidence you can try and flip it around and give them attention all they want, but at the end of the day you deserve to reap what you sow. And if I’m putting out goodness just to sort of subtly manipulate or seduce them into conversation with me, what’s actually gained here? Sure I won the current battle of the day in this giant ego we fight within standard workplace or even friendship/platonic politics - why keep giving when you know it won’t be reciprocated but instead mocked and belittled? It can be defeating to someone who continuously reinstills hope in an individual or organization
@@CatharineRiverRainthis 😅
I feel like when I join into the conversation they find me annoying and dislike me
Could that just be a story you're telling yourself?
I can’t even describe how bad it makes me feel being ignored. One time, I was in a group chat with all my friends and it took them a good 20 minutes to wonder why I wasn’t talking! I started crying and they didn’t even notice. It felt like I was trapped and I was screaming for help but no one noticed. I deal with that DAILY! And to top it all off I have about 2 toxic friends that I have to deal with and can’t escape from. I wish I could be more confident so people would actually care about me
Don't give up your confidence journey. Use my resources to help you to keep moving forward...
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You’ll also receive a lot of helpful tips and information on a regular basis as well as access to resources only available to subscribers.
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If offers great information for both men and women, including interviews with other leaders in the field of confidence and social anxiety.
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6) Check out my next live event. These weekend intensive experiences are life changing!
socialconfidencecenter.com/events/
7. Check out my flagship confidence-building program, Confidence University: www.theconfidenceuniversity.com
I dont know if i should watch this video since i dont know whats happening on school but Some girls are laughing at me when they look at me and i dont know why and my best friend is now best friends with my old best friend that is mean to me so i dont know what to do right now...
@@ducke4963 cut ties with your best friend and try to get some new friends. Try to be nice to everyone. Complement them, help them with their homework etc. If that's not possible then don't worry. Wherever you are , there is always someone with the same interests as you , or maybe someone that actually likes you.If you can't find that person , it's ok. School isn't just for meeting new people. You go to school to learn new things. So try to participate at your class as much as you can. As for the breaks. If you are alone try to make things slowly. Eat slowly, walk slowly . You can also stay in the bathroom until the break is done .
@@shrek8243 thanks but sadly I cant make new friends because I already tried everyone but ill try to participate as much a i can
@@ducke4963 For starters, you socialize. So making friends do not always mean becoming there friends. What matters is you get involved and not ever give in to entitlement. Knowing when to walk away peacefully would show them respect. You don't have to be there friends to get along with them. So it is ok to settle for having an associates.
Here is a quote I heard recently that really helped me find the strength to make a change. "On your last day on Earth, the person you are will meet the person you could have become" Never let fear stop you from being who you are, or doing what you wanna do. Live you life to your potential.
One of the biggest reason why I am so happy that I finally finished school, I don't have to deal with feeling left out anymore.
My last two years at school were really bad 'cause of this, so bad that I even hated lunch breaks or any free time there.
I feel you. Back in the 90s, the school used to have the rules that say only seniors gets to leave campus during lunch breaks. When I leave campus, I go to restaurants that is right across the street from that high school. Good thing I can enjoy my lunch there before lunch break is over and then make it back to class on time. If you ever have the right to eat outside of campus, take that chance so that way, you fit in. You don't have to act like a student when all the other customers in that restaurant are not students and can eat by themselves. During that hour, nobody brings kids to restaurants. It doesn't matter if it is fast food or any average dine in restaurant. In restaurants outside of school campus, you will enjoy lunch breaks where if other people can come in alone, so can you. Outside of school, you fit in when you have solitude life.
@@hp2546 Well sir, that actually sounds really good that you could have some solitude and nice quiet time. However, at my school, we were not allowed to leave the school premises before the last class, and studying at an all girls school kind of worsened my whole situation. Honestly, after my whole schooling years, it scares me a bit about my college time. Though I think as much as I disliked my time there, it certainly gave me an incentive to be a better person and it gave me strength; And I definitely agree about solitude life, school makes us forget about the marvelous things which exist in the real world, a solitude time with actual fun stuff really gives us the spark that we need for being a cool human being.
90s always sounds so amazing, though.
@@akriti6773 College time should of give you a reason to fit in because you only need to attend class then you head home. You aren't even going to see everybody eating with somebody and you aren't require to use the school campus to eat. You aren't require to socialize in college and you aren't require to bond with anybody. Most people especially full time students would barely have time to hang out because they would spend most of the time in solitude doing homework. High school is a place where hanging out may feel enforced when looking around to see other people hanging out. Where you were from, it feels shameful to be solo because you will see that everybody have a partner except you. In college, majority of students walks in campus alone. Most of them live for themselves. That means you get to be yourself with no shame. Since college is a place where it is about being independent so if majority of people in college live for themselves, you do fit in at college. When you were in college, it won't be like all girls school, all boys school or high school. Even if you have a college roommate in that housing program, they still don't depend on you except just paying rent which means it fits your lifestyle. All those times when you were in all girl school, you had been prepared for college all this time. Of course no teachers in all girls school, all boys school or high school ever tells their students that.
@@akriti6773 I would encourage you to use college time to replace your bad memories you have in all girls school. After all, your primary goal in college is to find your purpose which defeats the purpose of socializing. You might start out as undeclared major which is ok. Or if you decided what you want to major in, great. There are some who don't come back to college when they find a decent job. There are some who will spend most of the solitude life studying in college. Even if you spend your whole life in college with solitude life, it won't effect your future because college is not about finding people to hang out with. Most of the college students will enjoy solitude life which give you a reason to enjoy solitude life. Educational achievements is more important then social life. Many gives up social life for the purpose of achieving educational achievements.
I’m used to this feeling because growing up my parents were very overprotective and didn’t let me hang out with my friends often. So in group chats when they were talking about when they hung out I would feel very left out. But I hope everyone else doesn't have to experience this horrible feeling and that everyone has a good day. Don’t worry you are valued and you are important.😊
Yes you are, and thank you for sharing!
Same man i experience this daily
❤❤ thankyou
This exactly happened to me. And sometimes it makes feel very sad. It’s like feeling a hole in my soul. I just try to pretend that I didn’t heard nothing. And just flow with the conversations. But even this, drains me a lot.
You have a right to feel lonely as a child because your parents imprisoned you in your own home and not giving you permission to out there to socialize.
I feel like I’m a good friend. I feel like I’m a good listener, I feel like I’m entertaining, I feel like I’m not clingy, I feel like I’m fun to be around, I’m social, I feel like I’m relatable, I feel like I’m funny, I feel like I’m a good friend. The last time I had a real friend was in kindergarten. It’s been years. I’ve tried so many different activities and reached out of my comfort zone. I’m on a dance team, and they had a late night. I was the ONLY kid in the group that didn’t get invited (there where 10 kids) I am so depressed, but literally no one cares. I have no one.
Edit: and then when I’m down from it they talk about me in front of my face and say I’m “rude” and “moody” and “a bully” someone help me please
It would be helpful if you had both someone your own age and then someone older than you to confide in and ask for assistance with this. Tell them the situation and ask them to observe some of your interactions, see what it looks like from a couple of other perspectives and get some trusted input.
@@GetMoreConfidence
i asked my sister and she didn't care
When I was in middle school, I felt the same way about one of my friend groups. I noticed that they always seemed to have an easier time talking amongst themselves. They had inside jokes I wasn’t weighing in on, their humor seemed to become more and more foreign to me, and they seemed to not care at all when I wasn’t there with them. I felt like an outsider looking through the glass.
About a year later, I looked back on this, and realized that I simply didn’t fit in with them. I had different interests, different perspectives, different humor, different philosophy, different lifestyle, different everything. I wanted to be in a group that I wasn’t meant to be in.
Going further into this, I also understood the group dynamics that caused me to drift from them.
I’m an introvert. When I hang out with friends, I started noticing that I start burning out after around an hour. I simply got tired of socializing and went back to my awkward self. I always preferred doing things by myself rather than with other people. Now the group I was in seemed to care more about how well you can socialize to make each other happy. I obviously lost when it came to that factor.
I matured. I also realized that I matured at a much faster rate than the friend group I was in at the time. I was going through a rough time, and I had a lot of time to contemplate morals, values, ethics, as well as my beliefs, desires, and insecurities. I gained multiple new perspectives, while my friend group stayed in their middle school teenager mindset.
I had different friendship values. The friend group that I was in during middle school, had different friendship values than me. I valued acceptance, tolerance, listening to each other, and cherishing each other, while they valued having a good time together, enjoying the now, and relating to each others’ interests. So from those principles, we naturally drifted. To be honest, I don’t really think they truly cared about me as a human being.
That was my experience with being pushed out of a friend group.
I can’t speak for you, but my suggestion to you would be to simply see how things go. You’ll want to be more communicative with them, and maybe it’s due to other factors for why you felt more distant. Eventually, you’ll know whether or not to stick with them. At the same time, go out of your comfort zone. Be open-minded and make some friends with other people. Thanks ✌🏻
Thanks for this excellent share! This is a lot of what I'm referring to when I say "it might be time for a friend upgrade."
i have never related more to anything in my life
you literally described me
My personality described in 1 comment
Indeed it's a long life struggle, it's like building a muscle.
Exactly like building a muscle. Lifelong struggle or lifelong game? ; )
I totally feel like this is directed towards me, like you're talking to me. I'm in a group of three but I severely left out, to the point where I'm rarely with them or see them. They prefer each other of me and I feel so excluded and worthless
Same..
My mum always told me a group of three never worked.. how much I agree with her right now.
Hope Y'all Better Now
Its not even about being able to budge in, it’s the lack of interest they show when it’s your turn to speak, walking in front with another person and leaves you behind idk 🤷🏻♀️
Is there something that happens just with a certain group of people?
@@GetMoreConfidence nooo, every single person I encounter haha. I literally see it from the first time I meet them they’re uninterested by the way they introduce themselves to me . And I try to make convo with them with anything along the times we either work together or college or anything . Just no interest , always been alone but it feels good either way
Seeing these messages help me to feel less left out cos we have all been going through this experience. Just remember god is there and he will keep you strong inside.❤❤
Me watching this as I cry about my friends sharing the outing I planned, but wasn’t invited to on their stories
I'm sorry to hear that.
That's so true! I had to be 26 to figure this out the way you explained it. I was always silenced as a kid and nobody really was interested in interacting with me. So I didn't feel the permission to just talk to people. At high school I was trying to talk in groups, but nobody paid attention. But here's the thing introverts have problem with: most people don't really care what you say, they just say random stuff so the conversation is fluent. If you think people are gonna be very interested in you, you will feel rejected. The "small talk" is all about showing validation and not going too deep.
Thank you for sharing this.
As you get older, it sounded like you realize that social life should not mean anything if they don't accept you for who you are. High school on the other hand do not teach people who to handle solitude life. As years went by while you were in college, you realized that you don't need social life to spice up your life. The busier you get, you learn to detach yourself from socializing.
I always try to put myself out there. But when I say something, ask a question about what's said they just pretend not to hear it, thats why I feel left out and stop talking in the convo, eventually exit.
It might be time for a friend upgrade.
whenever that happens to me I forceably interrupt the conversation and force them to tell me by being the loudest one, doesn't feel great but gets the job done
I'm not shy, but I am being left out. I voice my opinion, I'm not quiet (not LOUD hah) but they seem to care less and less everyday. One of them (at lunch) won't even turn to me to hear me speak (not because they're mad or anything, but because Kaley, the third member of our group sits the other way), and they continue on and seem generally annoyed by my presence, but I really don't know what to do, sharing stories and conversations isn't really working. They hang out all the time, no matter how much I suggest and ask there is always an excuse. They have become very close, I respect and love both of them, but honestly, stressing about this has ruined a piece of me, no matter how much I attempt to talk and grab their interest, they won't stop excluding. I don't know what to do. Help?
Grace Rutledge Sorry to hear that Grace - being excluded is super painful. If you are showing up fully as yourself and people are excluding you, the key is to NOT buy into it and try to seek their approval more. The key (as HARD as it is), is to walk away. I know that can be scary and tough, but finding people who appreciate you and your energy more is going to be very liberating in the long run. Good luck!
Get More Confidence does this work even for one to one relationship
Grace Rutledge I’m the same way, not shy but I’m always being left out. I tell my friends how I feel and they say I think they are “bulling” me😞
Ashley Marie it will get better I promise have a great summer
Grace Rutledge I feel you I am dealing with the same situation
I feel like this most days. Especially when I am at work. It really is emotionally draining at times. Of course you have to make an effort yourself to interact, but it is very difficult when the people around you are self centered and constantly carry on as if you are invisible.
Very true, but you can learn to break into those circles, if you so desire.
You know what join the club I feel the same as you do and it's annoying for real.
But you only just be yourself and that's all you can do and just remember this that No one is better than you
At work, it is best to go there just to make money. Don't socialize unless it is business related. Otherwise if they see that you are desperate for attention, you are not accepted. Even if you first started in interviews, if you fail the elevator pitch, you most likely will fail in socializing. So at least you have a job which should be good enough. Coworkers don't matter if they don't see you as a valuable individual. In business, you only focus on pleasing bosses or clients based on business related activities but no requirement to please them in socializing. Anyone can be good in business and not have friends.
Ok I have a question for you. What if you're very shy around groups/in social situations and you want to have friends and socialize, but at the same time you DON'T want to socialize, preferring to be left alone? Does that make sense? That's how I am. I want to socialize but at the same time I don't want to. Why do you think that is? What does that mean?
You're an ambivert. T.Y I'm abivert as well =/ =/
@@Rika-pw4iz I think I am too lol. I didn't know that was a thing to thank you
Im inthat condition as well
BSJ avoidance personality disorder I have it too
I guess you have a social anxiety)) when you want but can't
This perfectly describes just about every interaction I've had. I've started speaking more but still feel like people just want me to hush...so I've decided to close myself off until it feels right. Decided not to force what ain't working but I really like this video because finally someone who gets it and it's great to see different ways to deal with this.
i do feel "left out" every day at work
I never worked but I did experience being left out every day at school or family gathering. Now I am just getting prepared for getting a job and read self help books/articles to help me deal with my future boss and coworkers
@@tasnubaahasan8178 same here. and you just gave me that idea. thanks.
What are you working on to change this?
Get More Confidence I am watching TH-cam videos on how to do well on interviews and I also practice my oral communication skills because I stutter a lot
i am without job and almost no friends here. Feel like in between 2 worlds and have both no part of it. it feels like left out of the community, society
jonah4u hope you're feeling better :)
Hubby comes from a large family we have been married for nearly 17 years with 4 children. Yesterday ( good friday) I discovered someone in the family ( thanks to social media) had a big Easter hunt for the kids ( over 30 kids) but didn't think to message me beforehand and say hey we are having a Easter hunt please bring the kids out. Mind you it's not the first time. If someone has a problem with you don't take it out on the kids. This event was suppose to be on messenger and over 20 adults ( hubby sisters, cousins, nephews, nieces,) not one had the thought to add me to the group chat. So I will return the favour and my eldest daughter wants only her friends no cousins at all which is sad ut my eldest 2 have notice this too. 😢
But you were physically part of the family egg hunt. So far, you already have your hubby which counts as having a friend. Numbers do not mean anything. Quality is better then quantity. Other people's kids should not matter to you. If you focus on your marriage and your 4 kids, then you should not feel lonely. Never mind about other people's lives. Your hubby and your 4 kids is your responsibility. If you try to make anyone else's kids your responsibility, your mind will only get stuck feeling lonely.
my advice to be honest if they dont treat you like a friend by bringing you in the conversation or sharing talks with you my advice is let them go and find new friends that really treat you beautifull and shared talks with you and like you as who you are period
Man you are my hero, is so refreshing to hear that someone else feels/felt that way - I thought I was the only one!!
I always feel like i am being left out. Even though me and my friends hang out most of the time, some are always hanging out without me, and posting about it too, even though I told them that they always post when I’m not invited. I’m scared to tell them. Sometimes I find myself crying or tearing up every day. I don’t think I did anything wrong
It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. If you're hurt you should talk with them about it. Additionally, consider this. In a large group friends, there's no one is obligated to invite everyone to do everything together every time. At times you may not be invited. At other times you will be and someone else may not. As long as you're not excluded all the time, this might be normal.
for me, i joined my friend group in middle school while they were already friends in elementary and everything seemed to be fine. i understood that i was new and it would take some time for me to get into the group and it’s been two years. at school we would all sit together at lunch and they would acknowledge me. then over the summer i would ask to hang out with them but they never could and the later i would see them hanging out together on social media. i have a feeling that if i speak up about it it’ll start soo much drama, which i don’t want. and i don’t know what to do. this always seems to happen to me. in every friend group i’m in it always happens and i don’t know what i’m doing wrong. i’m a good listener, funny, and i care so much about them but i don’t think they care about me.
I've felt this so many times that when someone actually makes the effort to make me feel included, it means the world to me and I immediately feel attached to that person.
That is a correct mindset. When a person include you, that would mean you are attach to personality over looks. After all, they include you and all you did is say yes.
That feeling of being left out happened to me at work today but I honestly think it was a racial thing but that's not my problem if you have a problem with the way I was born that's on you. Everyone was thinking why didn't you get her something because I'm the nicest sweetest person. But I was thinking her money her choice and if it is an underlying issue she's just showing everyone her true colors but a blessing came my way in the process I found your channel and just subscribed. But I was also thinking to myself if my co-workers really cared they all could have stepped up and said what about her she didn't get one but nobody did so that just tells you something & actions speak louder than words.
Thank you for sharing.
I just finished my speech. ur words were in my mind the time before the speech. It's been done successfully! Appreciate your support Dr. Aziz
That is great! Each speech you do is like another social confidence workout. The more you do, the "stronger" you get : )
Rule no. 1 is so real for me like I've been a good student/child and only focused on my studies bec. My parents are strict and not following rules scared me. Which is why I can't speak to a total stranger if not asked. I would literally stay silent unless someone asks me questions 😅
Sean give up, you can change this.
Tomorrow is my first public speech in my communication class. I saw your video"how to overcame your fear in public speaking" it's going to help me a lot! Thank you and keep going!
Glad to hear it. Good luck with the speech! And remember, no matter how it goes, it's a victory because it's all about practice.
love your simplicity in presenting yourself...content starts at 0.00...thumbs up for that...completely relates what you said...subscribed
I appreciate that!
You're amazing sir! I was feeling left out by friends and I have now atleast confidence and positivity if not friends. Keep doing the hard work sir.
With confidence and positivity there's no way you won't make friends soon!
Sometimes is best to be alone but feeling left out sure doesn't feel good😞
thank you. ever since i met my husband's family 14 years ago his family made a conscious effort to make me feel unwelcome (yes one is a narcissist and the other is a psychopath) and they decided to never 'hear' what i was saying or 'see' me. but i knew very well they could hear and see me. they would look round the corner of my eye for a reaction. i do indeed matter but i cant make ppl listen or pay attention if they dont want to.
That's right, and there's probably no reason to waste your time on a lost cause.
@@GetMoreConfidence don't cast your pearls before swine.
Sometimes when you try to get into the group conversation, and somehow you managed to insert yourself and caught every persons attention .Problem comes when you have to sustain their interest in it.That's when person gets more anxious. Please tell how to manage yourself at that moment. Thanks
+Chin Danzal I have this same problem.
Thank you. I feel utterly invisible.
I know that feeling all too well
You're very welcome.
This was the most helpful video I've seen . Especially about inserting your self in
Awesome to hear!
What hurts most is when your main tactic was inserting yourself in... and you’ve been doing it for years and i moved back to my hometown and inserting myself in didn’t work. It’s a very effective tactic. But when it didn’t work it really got to my head. Makes me wonder that if everyone is mistreating me if it’s actually my fault. I really don’t know what to think anymore
i have 2 friends and a bunch of associates but im a third wheel with the two friends i have they are each others best friends.i dont have a best friend and i feel like i never have anything to say im find myself just sitting there looking crazy because im too quiet and dont know what to talk about.im in high school and in a band so this is very depressing for me and everyday i feel left out because im just a 3rd wheel and this is why i hate school and anything social because i feel anti social but i dont want to be i just cant help it
This was very helpful, especially the reminder that what we have to say also matters. But I don’t think you considered what if these two people have pitted themselves against you and have you set up to be rejected if you make any attempt to insert yourself? You can only ignore intended disses towards yourself for so long until you have to finally give it up and accept that those people do not like you or want you in the conversation (and they want to make that clear, but in a very passive aggressive way )
Then they're not the kind of people that deserve to interact with you.
Dear Dr. Aziz! You have an awesome way to describe and act out precisely what I feel in Social Interaction. Perceiving my behavior , my body language and my inner believes on screen is a good training. It is as if I saw myself first time from the outside and it makes me understand that some of my daily patterns are absurde and neither helpful to me nor to others. That's a great technique to help people, thank you for that!
So true about being seen and not heard. My xbf never waited for a personal invite. If people from work were going out, he'd just show up and assume he was welcome. I envied him that ability to not even give a thought to whether or not anybody wanted him to show up. He just thought "i want to go".
And I'll bet he went a lot. :-)
Don't follow that example and there is no reason to be jealous. Your xbf goes in uninvited. That means people do feel annoyed by him but just couldn't confront him about it. Going uninvited is annoying. Maybe all the people in the party felt annoyed but too scared to confront your xbf. Going to places illegally cannot be considered a successful life. Your xbf is just humiliating himself.
Think about this as a similar example. If you see someone break into someone's home or breaking into high level military facility, are you going to feel jealous about it? The answer is there is no need. So going uninvited is not something you need to feel jealous about. That person went in without consent. You don't want to follow that person's example as your role model.
To give similar examples, would you rather earn money legally or would you rather rob the bank? That is a similar is example stating that earning something legally is supposed to be something to be jealous about. If all that person does is steals, that isn't something to be envy about.
I was left out from the beginning ... I was the last child and we had considerable age difference. I was left out in all discussions ... I loved my cousin and was close to them but when I was very young they left our city... I wanted to have friends at school and my mom was separating me from them to study instead ... and this being left out continued in my entire life ... later I got chronically ill ..and claiming is even more difficult because my energy is limited to constantly remind others and fight for their attention and fairness. this really made me turn inward and ..
How would you like for things to change?
I feel left out cuz every day no one cares about me, maybe i just look ugly...
I'd say it's more likely you're paying attention to the wrong people, or the wrong group of people. Maybe you'd like to seek out people that have more in common with you, similar goals, life views, etc.?
To all the people put here feeling left out, i feel the same. its even hard waking up to meet them again cause i dont want to
Experience that feeling again. Though even today, it felt like that, i decided that i matter a lot in this world. And really i have so many people around me who love me and respect me for who i am.
My advice is that, you dont need to force yourself to be a part of a group, where you dont even matter. Instead, please try speaking to others, and just having casual convos... it feels lots better, and makes you feel like you are seen. And also, start doing things to make yourself feel better. Do your hobbies, work out or anything. So that, your mind doesnt keeps on thinking about your "friends". Work on yourself, and one day you will shine more than you ever had.
Yes. By getting used to solitude life, that solitude life won't feel like imprisonment. Even if that covid 19 pandemic were to happen, those lock downs won't bother those who is comfortable in solitude life. Whole point is to learn how to detach. After all, no point depending on those who isn't going to be there for us. The point is don't treat them like a babysitter. If we get obsessed, they will have reasons to kick us out of their lives. We all have to learn to love ourselves so that way, they don't look down at us. That same rule will even have to eventually apply to elevator pitch in job interviews. If they sense we are lonely, they would not take us in. By feeling comfortable in solitude life, I would call that independent. We live in a world where if we want people to accept us, we have to act like we are independent individual. No point being anyone's doormat just to fit in.
Being shy is tough. But i am always left out.in a group of five they formed 2 group of two and i was sitting blank in the middle with nothing to do .just blank.😭😟
You deserve to learn the skill of inserting yourself into those groups (or any group for that matter), make yourself a part of what's going on.
@@GetMoreConfidence okay and thank you sir
@@arulajoy8060 I don't want to just suggest learning something and not give you options for boosting your confidence. Take full advantage of all my free (mostly) online resources…
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ive felt this way for so many years.. and feeling this way is the reason why my whole life crumbled to the ground tbh. i left my friend group because i felt excluded, but i was most definitely overreacting… it felt like i was no ones best friend, which is such a stupid reason that i felt that way and i hate myself for that. ive felt truly alone ever since i left them, even after i came back to the group 1 year later. i didnt feel included anymore and forgot how to socialise well. i hope one day ill find some genuine friends where i can feel truly happy and myself. i hope we can all overcome this feeling because its such a horrible feeling
Got to understand that the #1 rule of dealing with break up is not to initiate contact. Remember that you left your friend group which means if you go back to them, you will have to be their doormat and apologize for things you didn't do. Once you leave, it is not easy to come crawling back. Think how difficult it would be if that were a job you voluntarily quit. Once you do that, you cannot expect that company to want you back. Same rules apply in friend group. Once you initiate leaving, they think you don't want to come back. When you come back, you will have to be sincere which isn't going to be that easy to do. It would require you to beg and show how desperate you are. That is why once you leave, you got to move on. There is no crawling back once you leave.
I love good people and the girls.
Hey ive heard and watch a lot of video on social, how to. But I find your videos to be more helpful for me. Thank you brother.
You're welcome! For more free help, check out my internet radio show: ShrinkForTheShyGuy.com. Best of luck!
Dr sabab aapki videos dekh kar bahut change feel hua hai khud pe yakeen aur mazboot hua hai...
Thank you for sharing.
Sometimes something critical happens to me.
In certain situation like today, where I performed badly during a football game i really felt unworthy with myself, and by looking at the others laughing and being normal my situation worsened.
So then I started feeling myself off compared to my friends in that situation, like I had no value and I suddently began to wait for someone to care about me and love me.
But that just didn't happen, some of my friends where talking about hanging out while I felt automatically excluded from the conversation because I had no energy, so I went home with a mixed feeling of invisibility, unworthiness and feeling behind/inferior to other that is very hard to describe.
Thank you so much for sharing. I'm sorry that you had to go through something so negative.
My heart feels shattered when I get left out !
Hi. I found this video very interesting. I am a 21 year old girl with asperger's syndrome. I am in college. I am currently rooming with two 20 year old girls who are both very outgoing. I feel unwelcome, like I'm the third wheel. My roommates are always eager to leave the room and hang out with other people, leaving me behind almost every time. Whenever I interact with them it always feels like they are just giving me forced politeness rather than actual friendship. Sometimes it feels like my needs are ignored and like I'm the unnecessary roommate. I have bad self confidence issues because of my lack of social skills. I was also bullied in school as a kid and sexually abused by an ex boyfriend as a teen in high school. I think your video is enlightening but I would like to know of any more resources towards people like me. A lot of the resources for autism/asperger's syndrome are for children. I feel like there aren't many resources for me because most resources and research seems to be geared towards male autistics or children with autism. I am a bit different from most cases because an adult woman with other disorders and health issues (some congenital, some courtesy of abuse/trauma). I feel like I operate on a different groove of the world and there is no one else that 'gets it'. I've been working with a therapist for several years but learning social skills and recovering from what happened in high school has been a slow process.
Before what you said at 2:47 and on, is how I really thought it should be wth, I always try to be a polite person not barging into people's lives when I'm not being asked to. I'm 24 and when I turned 16 I started getting depression so after that, I started disconnecting from people, but I'm here on this because I felt the unincluded card with my dad's side of our family, but to be fair they never showed us they cared about us, so this is an eye-opener for me. I posted one thing on a day of a family event thanking them for not including me (I didn't want to mention my sisters cause it was me posting it), that was partly about them but mostly about my father not including me and my sisters, they all ignored us still and just gave us dirty looks when we arrived and laughed at me. This was not that long ago. I really needed closure on knowing had the right to feel the way I felt is probably gonna help me get over my social anxiety and all the hurt and stress I've been going through over people who don't even care but, on a real note, it hurts way more when they're related to you and you were raised with them.
Thank you for sharing that. Know that you're not alone, many people experience this type of situation all the time.
Thank you! this has really helped me. I feel left out a lot and doubt I am good enough to be liked by people (think it is partly because I wasn't ever included as a kid). got any other videos that could help me overcome these deep dark places?
Dude, I've watched like 20 of your videos into the wee hours! I like your videos because unlike some of the other self help videos, I relate so much to how you describe how these negative things feel that I can tell you were once just like I am. It really inspires to step up to the plate!
this Ripley helps me because my family is leving me out 😥
I always include people in in activities and conversations cause I don’t want anyone to feel left out cause I feel left out a lot
I don't see any issue there as you describe it.
Imagine feeling this every single day 🙂
To what are you referring?
I think I just need confidence but my friends just leave me out of hanging out and stuff
Those who love more feeling left out than matter and still don't wanna feel it
You earned yourself a new subscriber
Welcome!
I just hung out with two of my closest friends. Two of them spoke in detail about some of the darkest most painful details of their life tears, the whole lot, and when I began to share, they just got up and left. I then reminded them and told me I wanted to talk about it because they made me feel left out and that no one cared they just ignored me and went back to a party we where at at the time.
I can relate to that. Also I have sometimes contradicting feelings where I feel bad about not being included but no real interest in the conversation or those people either to motivate me to do something about including myself. Like I wish they would have invited me so I could refuse. Don't know why that is.
Sounds like unnecessary busy work of the mind.
I have 2 BFF’s and we were very happy we always play and talk and vid call but my mic broke and I couldn’t play for a bit for like 3-4 months and when i wanted to play after my mic got fix they found a new BFF and now whenever i play with them they kick me out of servers in the game sometimes ignore me and i got sweared once.
Sounds like horrible treatment.
Thank godI always include others
Good for you!
I've always been treated like and felt like shit... I have my moments of "glow," but most times, I'm overlooked, unseen, and forgotten. I don't have any friends for real. I've always been loyal and loving to ppl, but then they meet others and change, and I become more reclusive and disheartened.
I'm funny, blunt, and loyal with a big heart, but somehow, that's NEVER enough.
I just feel like dying right now every friend group I get in the same thing keeps on happening I'm completely finished with trying
Please don't give up! There is a solution and you can find it.
I feel the same!! I was trying to get away from my old “friends” and so I moved on and made new ones. My new friends started hanging out with my old friends... and we got to pick our seats in class and my old friends table picked one of my new friends to sit with them... and not me.
And I’ll come and sit by them regardless of the seating chart and two of the girls will tell me to get off their table and go to the other one cause that’s not where I am “supposed to sit”
I’m so sick of people being rude. I’m sorry and I hope your feel better bro!! People suck sometimes
For some reasion, everywhere i go, im excluded, like im not wanted, and i always have different opinions
I feel the same..
Has this changed for you now?
@@GetMoreConfidence it really has actually, I have alot of freinds now who care about me.
@@foreveranoutcast3847 aww thats nice to hear, good for you bro
I made the experience of being told "It's not all about you." so often when I tried to share own experiences etc without being specifically asked about it.
I feel hurt, but because of this video I think I just don’t deserve to feel hurt and I will do or say what I want to🤷🏻♀️
Go for it!
Get More Confidence thank you so much
Every single day I feel like this!
I absolutely love your video and want to say THANK YOU!
IK407 You are most welcome! Glad it helped.
I feel like this in every social situation.
Thank you. These videos are very helpful
Michael Cameron You're welcome!
I was in a group of 4. It was fun everyday. It expanded to 5 and then there's more fun. I left out of my elementary to go to another school while they still stay at my former school. Suddenly they added people I don't know and they said they were trusted and sincere. And then they added more and more. They talk about their school life while I'm here feeling left out. I understand that I'm far from them but still. Just feels like I'm not needed with them anymore.
The video I never knew I needed.... thanks so much
You're very welcome!
Everytime I stay with my friends they always say oh I need to talk to you in private like it's annoying and they expect me to tell them secrets. BUT YOUR VIDEO HELPED THX SO MUCH
I try to insert myself and speak out but I just get completely ignored and talked over like I'm not even there. It's been this way all my life tbh
Could it be the quality of the people with whom you're trying to interact?
@@GetMoreConfidence it's just everyone I've ever been around my whole life. They're not bad people. I just feel like I'm invisible and even when I speak and try to be social I'm just not heard.
Damn... 9 years later. Still great help, thx man
3:40 this the part you say that I should ask question. The problem is, in my circle nobody bothers answering me. I feel worthless man,they just look at me for some seconds and then the worst happens. They start another story.
Two things come to mind. First, you may need to sharpen your conversation skills. I have several videos here on my channel that will help you with that. Second, the people you're trying to interact with may not be worth your effort. Perhaps it's time for a friend upgrade?
@@GetMoreConfidence thanks man. I will do my upgrade.
At this point I'm sure I just have to leave the friend group
I have tried those things, with every single group and I've ever been in, and every single place and I've ever been, whether it be the local bar, or church.
I'm just going to say for a fact, and no offense to you the creator of this video, but the fact is that people are not drawn to me at all.
they do not care about me, they do not want to know me, they do not remember me.
I know that often times I come across the boring, and I guess then perhaps having a deep somewhat soft baritone voice probably doesn't help either.
whenever I speak up, people basically ignore me, there always seemed to be more interested in chatting with each other then what. And therefore I end up always on the outside looking in.
some people just don't frankly fit, and I am one of them. I have never fit in anywhere, and I probably never will. Anyone who ever did I have an initial interest in me, they basically would dump me after a while.
I remember when I used to go to church, they would say that God is good. Well if God is so good, then why the hell am I suffering so much? The way I see it either he ain't real, or He just plain don't like me.
God loves you .as if you were the only person in the world
Well l think you are wonderful for your honesty alone. You are a lovely sincere person. Mary xx
I feel the same. Ppl ignore me when I talk so I cant really "get In to teh conversation" if they wont even listen to what I'm saying
Maybe you should ask one of the people why they act like that to you..
Wow I could not have come across this video on a better day
I'm so glad you found me!
The sad fact is it’s so true🙁
# truth
I cant thank you enough...because this was actually helpful
Rule books are different for oppressed groups. Inserting oneself into an interaction doesn’t pay when you belong to a marginalized group. You are labelled aggressive, rude, invalidated in many ways no matter how careful and respectful you put yourself out there.
I haven't seen this to be a truism at all. This may be one of many stories your inner critic is supporting that may not be as true are you believe it is at this moment in time.
4:01
I try doing this. I try doing this all the time. They either respond with "oh" or completely ignore me. This happens to every single person I talk to. I can't stop it, I don't know what's wrong with me. What do they want me to change about myself? What do they hate so much about me that they want me to feel left out on purpose?
It Sounds like you might need a better class of friends.
a sign of the times, mens' hearts have grown cold.
@@mmommo-hx4dx I've given up, literally I don't know what is wrong with me or why people are so cold for no reason
@@quack. you surrounded yourself with the wrong group of people from the beginning I would guess, you could also directly confront them about it, what is it that they hate so much, and just keep on insisting until you get a fair answer
What if everyone that gets excluded got together whould that be the perfect friend group.
What a great idea!
I have a friend and him and me were such good friends until this girl kept talking to him non stop and I tried to talk to her and him but they ignored me and left me out and I just sat there all awkwardly....
That is definitely an awkward situation. How are things now?
its happening to me in my own family tbh
Not unusual I'm afraid.
it might be cos eye pick my nose ah lot hahaha
Really nice tips, much thanks!
The thing is I do fit in I wear Gucci and Jordan's and name brand shit I talk about the same shit they talk about I play basketball like them I appreciate the same things as them and I even smoke like them but they are always leaving me out I have more than them and they leave me out of conversations in always made fun of more than anyone else in the group in always judged for being myself I can't even express my emotions around them I just want to fit in I want school to not feel like an awkward depressing ass place I just want a best friend or a girlfriend I just want someone to call me there friend and give a shit
It sounds like you're ready for a friend upgrade.