Overcoming Loneliness While Potting up Tomatoes
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ส.ค. 2024
- In this video I cut back herbs, to up tomatoes and talk about a subject that affects me and many others... loneliness.
Does it affect you?
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Hi I'm Brian with Next Level Homestead. If this is your first time here... welcome! I'm glad you're here! If you're a longtime friend, welcome back!!
For most of my life I was a city boy, gardening in the suburbs. I was the first generation in my family to not grow up on a farm and somehow it was still there inside me. So now my wife Emilie, son Noah and I have moved to a small farm (at least it will be) and we're documenting our journey on this channel. Building gardens and chicken coops, buying a dairy cow and who knows what else lies in store. But we can't wait to take you with us!
I'm going to be honest, your video had me tearing up. As an introvert, it can be hard to combat the feeling of loneliness, even with a supportive group of (though small) family and friends. When you don't have people to connect with about your interests it can feel like you aren't noticed. Thanks for your honest video, Brian, and the tips on things that might help. You may not know us all personally but know that your videos are appreciated and meaningful to us in the Next Level family.
Totally agree 🌸
👍Thank you ❤
Yes!!! I agree❤
I totally agree, too.
Well said. ❤
There's an old Reader's Digest quote which I live by. "When your dog thinks you're the greatest person in the world, why ask for a second opinion." My dog does and she is one of my best friends. Along with my husband and son.
Love your comment. I have three dogs and my world revolves around them
I started watching Next Level Gardening to obviously learn to plant a garden, when I started watching NLH I got a great appreciation for the “real life” honesty even more. Thank you!
Thank you!
Feel the same. So appreciate YOU Brian! Wanted to jump into the video and claim some of those herbs you thinned out . Sending you, yours and all of us a big hug!
Me too!! I watch each channel as soon as the videos come out.
Hi Brian! First off,.I love both of your channels. Second thank you! The past year has been a roller coaster of a ride for me. JANUARY 2023,.I retired after spending 29 years as a police officer. I had immediately set about planning my new future. I started school to become an xray tech and looked forward to a bright future. After a few months I was thrown into a divorce with two teenage kids. To say the rest of the year was a struggle would be an understatement.
I had attempted minor gardening several times before, but never really got into it, so I always failed. Then a few months ago, I stumbled onto your original tomato growing video. I was instantly impressed and hooked! I am now fully invested in both gardening and your videos. I binge wanted these Homesteading video from the very 1st, and my new girlfriend and I love being able to share your adventures with you. So thank you, for being here, for being yourself and for opening up all your lives to help us. It is to make new friends as we age, but finding your pages made me feel like I found one
Lol. Yes I did also buy your book, but i still have to order some tomato hooks and a t-shirt.. thank you again Brian
Boy, I could write a book! Currently, and for the past 7 years, I’ve been living in a small town in the mountains, one hour away from civilization. I consider myself a bit of a hermit and keep myself busy with gardening, crafting, and movies in the evenings. I feel that I am the happiest I’ve ever been because, in part, being alone has protected me from the crazies in the world. This seemed to be particularly evident during Covid. When it felt like the world had been overtaken by mass craziness. I’ve had a couple of friends here who I’ve had to let go due to the level of drama they seemed to perpetuate. Not to say that we all don’t have at least a small carry on, but a number of steamer trunks full of baggage is more than I am prepared to deal with. Social opportunities here are very limited. There are no Meetup groups. Getting out there is doable, but feels daunting as it’s one thing to meet people and another thing entirely to feel a connection with someone compatible when you are in your mid sixties.
I understand
I feel exactly the same. I've let go of all friends over the last several years. I'm fine but it does get a bit lonely hopefully the craziness will calm down very soon.
I feel the same way. I’ve been here 20 years and have 2 close friends. And I use to live in the country now everyone is selling their land and houses are coming up everywhere. If I could I would move to the mountains but my husband is totally disabled and we can’t afford to. All our family is deceased and we are only in our 60s.
You sound like me , we have almost matching situations. I'm 50 empty nester, Divorced ❤
@@lovelight9164 nope the craziness is about to get worse.
I’ve been a loner since I was a young boy. I had 4 older brothers and sisters but they were always doing their own thing. I’ve never been bothered by it and I have friends that I’ve had for a long time. The older I get the more comfortable I get being by myself. A little sun on my face and being outdoors gardening or whatever makes me happy. You have to find happiness within yourselves , you won’t find it in someone else.
I’m 71, live alone and still an introvert. As a quiet, shy child our dogs were my playmates, (I did have a few human friends too 😁). Even as I got older, if I went to a party, I always hoped they’d have an animal of any sort (calmed my anxiety) & the animals picking up whatever from me were always happy to hang out & keep me company. Now I have grandkids, and a wonderful church (where I plant & maintain the flower beds 💚) & life is full, but I still require a lot of time alone, but rarely ever feel lonely. Thanks for sharing 🙌
Being in my 80s and have limited ability to get out, you are the one I look forward to as company. You completely remove me mently from my surroundings here and bring friendship as well as gardening ideas. Thank you and bless you for your companionship.
My that is high praise indeed Jeanette- I know Brian is blessed with your comment ~God bless you both.
Its Earth shattering when we come to realize that we are all alone, really an individual. We are separate from our parents, our siblings and our partners. When we die, we most of the time die alone. When you think of it, unless it is a mass casulaity we die alone. So, we need to share and allow others to share with us. When someone comments here, that is reaching out. When you talk to others, that is us sharing. And, sometimes WE need to reach out and be that friend FIRST. Just talking to another person you are helping them feel accepted, too. Imagine when someone asks about you? You feel important that someone cared enough to ask you that question. You are the only one I know that really shares of yourself on a gardening channel. I love your soul.
Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes, being in a crowd can be the loneliest feeling in the world. Been there.
So true!
Love your videos. My husband passed away suddenly 18 months ago at 56. I never thought about loneliness until now. I have grown boys and close family and I’m so very glad they are here. However, I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and don’t know what tomorrow, next year, five years looks like. I never thought about loneliness.
My husband passed when I was 42. He was ill, and I was really busy during that time. He passed, and then everything stopped. Luckily, I was working, and that helped a lot. As time went on, I worked on hobbies I always wanted to do. Then I became me, which isn't a bad thing, and I even spend weeks without contact with people at times, and that's OK. And I'm sure you have heard this before but it dies get easier in time. I'm proof of that. 🙏❤️
Just got back from a walk alone, after spending the day alone, feeling very lonely and there was your video ...thanks for the encouraging words, we introverts need reminders
Our country (meaning us and especially younger generation) has turned to social media to communicate and we have lost the ability to communicate face to face, front porch visits, playing in the streets and talking to folks you meet at the grocery store or at ballgames. We have to search for people that are like minded and have the same values as you.
Thank you for this “real” video. I love your vulnerability! It’s so refreshing. I can also understand how you feel about the friend issue. We moved to a new state last year and it’s been tough being middle aged and moving somewhere I didn’t
know anyone. I’ve made 2 friends but they already had friends that they’ve had for a decade or more. Hard to compete with that! Anyway, glad I have my family ❤
Boy u speak the truth. After my husband died, x 16 years ago…I moved to be closer to my son and his family as per my husband’s dying wish. Did so, knowing no one else. And while my life is good and I have met a lot of people through my business, I have never felt at home here. And the people I’ve met, albeit nice, all seem to be locals with friends and attachments years in the making.
You would make an excellent friend if I lived near you. Great personality, very friendly. Allways willing to explain anything.
Wow, thank you!
@@littlehomesteadbigdreams You're welcome.
I'm an introvert too. I'm also 5' tall. Nobody has ever seen me, since most people look over my head, which is ok with me. I've never had a lot of friends, right now only 2 for 40 years. But I'm ok with all that. I learned at a young age to be happy with myself and my happiness doesn't depend on the people in my life. I even had a job that didn't have much to do with people either. I sat in an office by myself crunching numbers all day. I married but had no children and now my husband has passed. God keeps me on a good path and he's my best friend and savior. I have a lot of interests which I'm always working on. So I don't understand why people have to be with people all the time. When Covid hit, I was my happiest because I didn't have to go places I didn't want to go. I was at peace at that time. So when people invite me to things and it's more than once every week or two weeks I turn them down. I find more peace in my world than their world. Loneliness really isn't in my vocabulary 😊
I was an only child, nerd, loner as a kid. I had a small group of friends, and really didn't need anyone else. I've had two best friends for 30+ years that I actually spend time with. All the rest, as you say, have faded, moved, died, or we only talk online. I also have lost all of my family except one cousin and my birth mom, plus 4 half-sibs I've never met. Yes, friend making is getting harder as I age...not that it was easy as a kid! I find, however, that those few I have made in recent years are quality friends. I have learned discernment in my choices. And remember, blood relations are biology, but family is who we *choose* to spend our lives with. I consider my BFFs to be my two sisters by choice.
Going through the same struggles. My garden is my way of distracting my brain from work but working from home eventually I miss people.
I totally understand the "they saw me" feeling. I have felt this invisibility feeling most of my life. It has always amazed me when people recognize me after years of no contact because they never connected with me when we saw each other daily.
Same! I’m always startled when somebody knows my name
My husband is from Torrance CA. I'm the social person and I have many near us here in North Florida. Yeah have nothing to do with past people anymore. I love my life. I probably would do well being a hermit. You are never alone if you know God.
I used to be an intovert... but now i'm an extrovert. My husband died. I had to make a new life, I had no real friends. I had a VERY active life on the net for 20 years with many people coming to me for help and advice... many just wanted an older someone who was in charge to listen to their problems and advise, when they didn't come back, I knew my work was done. But that's in the past now. I'm alone, I still have a few net friends, but being 75 myself, a lot of them are dying now. So every day now, I go to the local shop for my newspaper and some bits and pieces and say good morning to everyone, now I have friends again... real ones I can call on to help if I need them, make the effort, it's so worth it.
This is so interesting because I am an extreme EXTROVERT! And I feel very lonely at times. I’m 84 and no longer live where friends of the past are available. It’s very hard, next to impossible really, to make friends at my age. So I really enjoy TH-cam, even if it’s disconnected. I love talking with people walking their dogs by our house. I try to be a friendly, encouraging shopper, briefly chatting with store personnel. I’ve had to let my expectations go and live with what is. I’m very happy you’ve found your church friends. Truly a gift.
I have to say you are very much seen and appreciated for who you seem to be, I feel you are genuine in the conversations you put out here. Coming together as a community gives us all a chance to interact with like minded human beings. Thank you.
I appreciate that
Thank you for being you and sharing. It sounds like how I feel only without the TH-cam channel. My job has me working alone most of the time too. Oh well.
Thank you! Sometimes, I feel like I'm drowning in loneliness. Your openness of your struggles and how you deal with them have helped me. It is very scary for me to put myself out there. Your encouragement will help me. ❤
You can do it!
I learned from Garden Answer to plant new lavender when they get woody. Then cut them back every winter to about 5 inches. They will come back as brand new plants. I have done this for 2 years now with great success. Gardening in California zone 9A
Thanks
The hard part is the second step. Doing things together outside the group is not only incredibly clumsy, no one wants to make time. And since I have the most intelligent conversations with the opposite gender, they think I want to do the nasty if I want to meet. No thanks, I'm good. My time at home is too valuable to waste.
I was taught to plant tomatoes in a trench leaving only 4 inches of top above ground. Great root building and lots of area exposed to soil warmed by the sun. Has worked well.
I never fit in to a group when I was younger either.
I can talk to people, but I am not comfortable in larger groups of people or in gatherings where I do not know many people. Which is funny because I worked in radio for 13 yrs. But being around people is different.
I don't have many friends and I have often wondered, if something happened to my husband or I had a serious illnesses, just who would be around. I think the same sometimes... who would really see me and be around to help me.
Last January my husband and I had a truck accident (we team drove semi truck at the time). He is back to work and I am not able to, and actually lost my job because I couldn't return back to work. That has created a financial and emotional strain on us. It is lonely. Many people have said, "oh if you need anything or any help..." but usually no one actually does what they offer. One thing I now suffer with is PTSD and that among other physical problems, makes it difficult for me to go outside of the home. I cannot drive and have to rely on my son and husband (and delivery services) to get things done I need to. I feel like less than sometimes because I cannot do what I once could. Being isolated certainly doesn't help much with feeling alone and well, depressed sometimes. I have went through feeling like I don't matter, like no one sees me. All the help I have given others... and rarely does someone return it when I am in need.
I have faith in God, so that helps. Gardening has become an even bigger sense of purpose and therapy for me. As has learning and "visiting " others through TH-cam. It helps. It also helps to see others struggle too, though it is unfortunate that we do.
I have been trying to redefine life and me now. In some ways I see it as an opportunity to become something new... but I do mourn parts of what was.
Some how though, I am always pulled through the tough times and become stronger. I will this time too. And so will you. 😊
PTSD is hard. At some point the only way to move forward is to desensitize yourself to the trigger. Find ways to gradually push past it. Maybe that means standing on your front porch for 5 min. And then walking to the driveway. I had a job developing and I literally couldn't work unless a close friend was sitting with me while I did it. I worked that way for months, a couple hours at a time. Oddly enough, after an accident I was driving in, I didn't trust anyone else to drive for years. If it was dark or raining or heavy traffic I would panic. It's hard for anyone who hasn't experienced it to get it. If you haven't already, you might want to consider finding a therapist who does EMDR therapy. It functionally helps you overwrite the triggering memory with a safer one.
I am sorry for what you are going through. Yes to what crimsondryad said. You are not alone
@@crimsondryad yes I am working with a trauma therapist for ptsd and a physical therapist for vestibular issues.
We had a wonderful Life Group for almost two decades. Times changed as our kids all grew up and that group ended. We felt lost, but we found another life group back in the fall and that has been a great change with all new people. It takes time, but get out there. A Life Group is the smaller church inside a big church for us.
I definitely appreciate you and I love your channels.
I'm alone completely, kids grown gone far away. Started Gardening in 2020 I Definitely feel like friends and family on here❤
Came for the gardening, stayed for the introvert advice. Appreciate both very much!!
Over the years, I've come to learn by experience that people who have feelings like you are sharing make the absolute best and healthiest friends.
Wow, thank you!
I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you pour your heart into your channel, helping all of us with not only gardening but that raw sharing of your self. My life is in chaos at the moment. I am away from my spouse and older children. I am caregiving for my elderly mom who has cancer. My gardens, my people are all 3 hours away in Middle Tennessee. Although I am so grateful for this bonus time with my Mom, I understand the loneliness. Thank you so much for sharing yourself and your family.
Thank you 😊
That is hard. I'm so sorry you're mom is sick. My mom was only 70 when she got brain cancer. I'm so thankful for my sister in law, she took care of her during the last few weeks, and I visited as often as I could. It was very physically demanding. Then a few years after that my husband's mother, in her 90's got cancer and we cared for her till she possessed. There were times I didn't think I'd have the strength to get through another night. But we promised her she could stay at home. I wouldn't change a thing. May the Lord give you the strength and courage you need day by day.
@@wendyburston3132 Thank you so much. Mom just passed away. Although I am so saddened, I know she is so excited for me to go live my life. I wouldn't change a second of the last year. I am so grateful I had this time. I know you understand as well. Thank you for your kind words.
So sorry to hear that ❤️
I’m 49 now and me and my wife really don’t make new friends as easy as we once did. In fact, I’m certain we don’t make any friends at all except recently with our church small group (which everyone there is older than us). I’m an agriscience teacher at a high school here in south Alabama and have recently found that there are a ton of others who share a passion and love for gardening, which sometimes feels like a connection. However, after sharing photos and videos of our gardens that’s usually as far as it goes. I spend a lot of time in our backyard with the garden and I make an attempt at making TH-cam videos for my garden and chickens but that usually fails miserably lol. Anyway, I agree with you on a lot of what you said. Keep on keeping on!
Being an introvert with anxiety really plays a part in making friends for me. This subject really hit home for me. ❤
You have so well described my life. But not only having ADD, being an introvert, and having a hearing loss that was not treated until in my 40's. I have only a few close friends so I am considering joining one of my church's life groups. I take baby steps in that direction, but scamper back into my hiding place. What you have shared encourages me to try and reach out again. Thank you ❤
I love when you talk so openly about mental health. I could relate to pretty much everything you said in this video.
When we left our church life behind, we were faced with a gaping emptiness where those friendships used to be, and it’s been tough finding ways to fill it.
Plus, I’m immunocompromised, so during the times of year when we can’t gather outside, our loneliness is compounded.
Add to that our social anxieties, and, well, it’s pretty hard.
Still, I joined a neighborhood book group several years ago, and friendships have grown out of that. It does meet only monthly, and you’re completely right about how that’s not as helpful as meeting weekly.
I also joined a weekly writing group which has fostered deep connections. We had to switch to Zoom during lockdown, and these beautiful, loving friends have continued that for my sake!
This is going long, and I haven’t gotten to what I most wanted to say…
Those of us who need external validation - to feel seen and heard in order to feel whole - have a really rough time in this hyper-connected yet lonely culture. I’m 65, and I still struggle with a sense of feeling invisible. Actually, more so now that the bloom is off the rose.
But sharing common interests with small groups of friends who live close by is definitely key to feeling less alone with life’s challenges.
Thank you for your honest sharing.❤
As we age we think about those things. We used to live our lives around family, community and church. Social media and government policies during covid has destroyed alot of culture, meet ups and values even with family. Government policies…don’t get me started…There was an article that presupposed what would happen if restaurants no longer existed, the last big social meeting place. Not good, already happening and people can’t afford it so much now. I started going back to church last March and praying every day. I also started working on being a better person, friend and neighbor. Small steps. Things are alot better now but still a work in progress. ☀️ This plus gardening makes me content and grateful. This winter’s blues was not as bad as usual. Hey! Are you near Jack Hibbs church? I watch him alot. Soooo happy for y’all!
Watch him all the time. Love from Tottenham, Ontario Canada.❤🇨🇦🙏
You COMPLETELY hit the nail on the head regarding being introverted! Both my husband and I are REALLY introverted, and it drives our daughter crazy.....because we passed it to her! We totally enjoy not being in a crowd, or really in public at all.....HOME "is the nicest word there is"(from Laura Ingalls Wilder).
I hear you !!
It hit me ...I'm ROM another country ..sometimes it feel like not roots friendship other them work interaction!!
I was a loner as a kid. As I grew older I started participating in sports (high school) and once practice and games were over I went back to my old ways. In college again football was my social time and when it was over I returned to my old ways. After college I became a teacher and when I retired there I was again I would attend staff parties and similar activities. Don’t get me wrong, I loved teaching in Special Education, a total of almost 40 years. Don’t get me wrong I loved my job and students. I do enjoy not having a lot of people around me and doing the things I like (gardening, fishing and long drives). My wife is my main social group and she enjoys being around lots of relatives and friends. We were very much opposites in high school and college. Our children and grandchildren are a large portion of our socializing. I am basically an introvert, but I have my moments.
Ted Talks in Brian's garage is one of my most favorite things (to watch) on the homestead channel.
keep it up and dont be afraid to share what's on your mind, more people relate to you than not :)
I also like older people sharing the things I thought were only something young people like me had to deal with, thank you so much for bringing all of this up!
You’re welcome 😉
Man ! I remember when I didn't have a hedge trimmer! So glad i do now, especially cause im old and its still a chore, lol❤
Ummm. You just laid out my life to a T. Even to the point of joining a small group at our church, and both of us looking at each other and saying "we have friends"! Love your openness. Keep pushing your comfort zone and I will too.
I remember when my kids were small I was so busy I didn't feel I had time to make friends. I was at stay at home mom and felt very lonely. After awhile a job opening came up (we lived in the country) and I jumped on it. My husband and I worked opposite shifts to watch the kids. My boss comes to me one day and asks me what I did besides work and kids. I told her that it was gardening. She said good I like you to join our garden guild. It's not healthy, to do not get out of the house. There were 6 in the group and me. All my mom's age or older. But it was the Best thing I ever did. I learned so much from them. I have two close friends that I worked with for years and we get together and keep in touch often. It's a good thing. I love coming here because I feel connected to other gardeners. Thanks for your videos.
This hit home in so many ways. I won’t go into details but recently experienced loneliness. It was difficult to say the least. Still working on it. Thank you!
Oh my, I think it was fate that I landed on your channel today. I was just searching for places I could go to make friends. I have been feeling extremely lonely every since I retired in 2019 and move to Georgia to live with my son. My son has no time for me he is living his life as he should. I don't even go out unless I am going to the store for groceries or garden stuff. I am so grateful to have God, your channel as well as other channels, my three dogs, my crafts and my garden to keep me together. Sometimes I have bad days but more good days. Thank you for sharing. Irene
I really appreciate this video. Thanks for being real and being relatable to so many people.
You are so welcome!
❤Encouraged me to cut my lavender. Thank you for sharing your struggles.
You are so welcome!
Thank you. Very good advice for people of all ages. Watching it with my teen daughter. I'm glad this advice came from you. Sometimes our kids are more inclined to hear things from other people and not their parents. The most important part was that you talked about your personal experience and what actually has worked for you and Emily. Big thank you.
Loneliness has been at epidemic levels for years but Covid and the years after made it much more noticeable. I am usually a solution oriented person but getting out to meet people is one of my biggest struggles. I am single, so don't have that support person to go to things with. No kids, so meeting people thru kids activities are out. Work from home. Large property to manage. I have help with lawn care but the other parts are on me. Serious introvert with neurospicy rejection dysphoria. 90% of the time I am great with being alone, but it would be nice to find people to share my interests with. Preferably ones that don't make me feel too unique to belong.
Brian…your vlogs…the scenes without words …have become theatrical-like. Your choice of scenery, the music selected are a notch above ordinary. Relaxing. Lovely. Just my thoughts. Barbara.
Thank you so much!
Wow, I really relate to this, I am introverted to and, it’s lonely and hard to get myself to approach others. But, I know deep down it’s up to me to reach out🤪. It’s good advice and my love is gardening so I’ll give it a shot in my community in NorCal🌸
Good luck 😊
This video was really good. Watching the work you did was satisfying, but the topic you spoke on was so important - and you made it practical. I can see this helping a lot of us. Thanks, Brian.
yes, I completely understand . I've lived the last 30+ years 1500 miles away from any relative . We moved to Minnesota in the late 80's . I learned in the last few years that there's a common saying about Minnesota :" If you move to Minnesota be sure to bring your own friends . "😁
All of my 4 children are adults and 3 of them live off from our town. As a mom of 4 I gave my time and attention to raising respectful, productive children and taking care of hubby and the home. I have come to enjoy the stillness that this chapter of my life has brought. I can focus on myself and the things that make me happy. I don’t have close friends but I do have a few dear friends that I make a priority to keep in touch with and occasionally get together for outings.
Really interesting and encouraging video Brian. I am 78 and an introvert. We moved to a new area 7 years ago and despite my garden, which I love, it’s a rather solitary hobby. Loneliness really crept in after a time. I dug deep for some courage and joined a monthly church group which I enjoy but you are right, monthly is not enough. I can’t seem to initiate meeting anyone more often but I know it has to come from me. So much thanks to you for your encouraging tips. And knowing I am not alone I’m my loneliness. I love my TH-cam & FB garden groups too.❤🌻
WOW, i'm pushing 70 and you speak for me. Bravo!
Yup I’m an introvert I’m old and I have no friends. Ninety percent of the time I’m really ok with that. I live on my kids property. It’s in the mountains and it’s around fourteen miles to a town. I don’t have a vehicle or a license at this point. Couldn’t afford one if I wanted. So going anywhere is difficult. If you’re m lucky I get to go in once or twice a month to buy groceries. The expense and lack of quality produce is one reason I’m trying hard to grow as much as I can.
I’m not really looking to make friends at this point certainly not old people 😂 I’ve always got along better with younger people or at least people who don’t think old. Well anyway I’m glad to be watching these videos. It’s always good to learn something new and share things that one has learned over the years. Looks like the stuffed mushrooms turned out really good!
I watched a few of your videos and I want to say thank you for your honesty
I appreciate that
I can see this in my children of 20 and 22. Their friend groups are primarily online. My son's best man at his wedding has been an online friend for 6 years, but the wedding will be the first time they meet in person. Is very foreign to me as a 48 years old. When I was a kid there was no online, your friends were met outside. For the last 10 years I have had a good friend that lived close, probably my only one and he headed to the East coast recently. I am at a loss for how to find more so I spend my time watching youtube homesteading, gardening and fishing videos. It's probably and introverts excuse for me, but I hear you. It seems like a lonely world now.
You are very calming with all the bells and whistles, that interest me. TY!
To make friends is a choice and time investment! Happiness is a choice too! So proud of you guys! Bravo! Blessings! Hugs!
Thank you!
I love being alone and never feel lonely. All my life I have cleaned up other beings literal shit...pets, kids, grandkids, hubbys, inlaws, insects, farm animals, random wild critters, birds, etc.
Being alone means I only have to deal with me, and pets, animals, insects, wild critters. So really brings down my shitload somwhat, love it.
I am old (80 years), alone now and love my life. I do what I want when I want and have a garden, have done creative work all my life and still do.. We get told you cannot be happy on your own. Well, I can.
What a wonderful video. Thank you and God bless.
I get dark like that every so often. I can be in a crowded room, and feel lonely. I never feel seen. I do admire what you have done on your homestead. Its a dream of mine, however I have MS and physically.. just cannot.
My youngest son is 25 and has garden beds and he works hard at it.
Im very glad I came upon your channel!
Soooo many things to say on this topic, Brian. I'll keep this way too short. One can be alone and not be lonely. It takes an honest assessment of yourself, working on things you feel you need to, and becoming comfortable in your own skin. Not always easy, but can be done.
I have mentioned the passing of my wife before, and the majority of my friends are no longer around. But, I know I have people out there and a couple of recent situations have confirmed they care. (nothing big, just unusual).
I say this coming from the place you described, it's 'mindset'. Positivity in thought, action, and inter-actions with others. I have (sarcasm alert) pulled a muscle stretching for it, but I can find the bright spot in almost anything. It is a conscious effort but it can be done. Blessings to all.
Thank you
I agree to what you are saying--I am 70 years old and do not connect with my sons anymore--they do not visit at all and the only people I connect with is people from my church--got involved with a bible study and it helps alot!!
This makes it clear I need one of these hedge trimmers. Work smarter! 😎💗
It does make things go faster
We're getting snow off and on, just a spattering😂. Yup, Canada😊
You're lucky!
As a mother of an adult child who just started over with twins, I can totally relate! I am also "odd/weird/awkward." There are 10 and 12 years between my older siblings and myself, and all of my cousins are in that age group. I used to want to be famous, but now I'm most content in my garden. I am a homemaker/land lady/Master Gardener. My spouse and I have 1 night a week that we go out for social activity. I thought I would find more friends in the local Master Gardener (extension) program, but gardening is honestly a very therapeutic activity because of the solitude and focus. That transitions into volunteer work with most of the stuff I do regularly. I will say that the workshops and gatherings are more social, though.
I really enjoy the topics that you discuss, and what you share. Thank you so much for all that you do and talk about!
Really enjoy your honesty about yourself. Ive been pretty much by myself all my life since a baby. The best day about age 24 was when i decided I'm me by myself and thats just fine. I'm not lonely; I'm alone by myself...big difference.
Loved your support of lonely people. Good to hear!
Great idea working on tomato transplanting while talking to us.
Quite entertaining.
Thank you!!!
Thank you for sharing! Thank you for being vulnerable and talking about this subject of loneliness and for being brave in sharing and encouraging all of us out here! The small group encouragement was very timely and I think it’s pretty awesome that maybe God is using you to be a catalyst for people to be brave and make meaningful connections to overcome loneliness. Blessings to you and your family. ❤
Thank you
I love you Vlogs, honest and educational. I would not be able to grow Tomatoes without your video. You can teach an old dog new tricks.
Thank you!
Very wise words and great advice! My mother is an extrovert. My wife and I are introverts. My mom does not understand our introverted ways and thinks we are not introverts. It is challenging for us to get out there as well. We moved from our adopted home of Texas back to Michigan to take care of parents, leaving behind our friends and church family. We have reconnected with older friends up here, but miss Texas and our friends down there very much. Whether one is an introvert or an extrovert, I believe we are all wired for fellowship. You gave great advice on how one can get that fellowship and community. Thanks for your posts! I stumbled on your Next Level Gardening site for tips on tomatoes and other veggies and joined this one as soon as you started it. We really enjoy both a great deal!
Thank you
the fact that you answer messages, and interact personally with people makes us feel welcome and seen as well, at least that has been the case for me. thank you!
I totally relate to you! Thanks for talking about it - lack of friends as we age etc…
I feel more lonely today and working in my garden has really helped.
I lost my best friend a few years ago (suicide when she turned 50). I knew her since we were 18 in junior college. Then an ex-boyfriend was also a friend of mine and i knew him since i was 19. He ( had strokes) also committed suicide last year. Both of these people ended up having devastating health problems and both used a gun. They both never had a gun in the last and didnt like to be around guns so it was surprising and very sad.
Thank you for talking about loneliness cause it is harder for me to find friends since i am also introverted but then i am extroverted if i know you.
When working in my front yard (i have mostly succulents and some plants/a tree) i meet people walking their dogs. I also, meet some walking alone and have talked to a few while they walk by.
Gardening is new for me in the past 3 years. I live in southern CA so i have succulents mainly. Yesterday i just put up a small greenhouse and will plant some things in pots. I am hoping to grow vegetables.
I can relate over the circle of friends shrinking as I grow older. Interpersonal connection after COVID is even tougher. I enjoy watching your videos, your family and adorable animal friends.
We all love you! My teacher!!!
Thank you 😊
My wife and I love our small group at our church!
Brava, Emily!! I’m not a mushroom fan but these stuffed mushrooms look delicious, worth trying. Thank you!!
Brain, what a great show. I had flashbacks to my life as I listened to your experiences. My husband and I have moved multiple times in our 52 years together. The biggest move was to AK, leaving family and friends back in MI. We were in AK for 21 years, retiring into MN. Being retired teachers, we started to attend sporting events, getting to know the community. We also belong to the local garden club, a service group for several community gardens. Thumbs up for the outline you gave for ‘getting out there’. Well done. Love your show!!
Thank you!
WOW deep diving into a hard rabbit hole! I am 72 have..zero friends..zero. Family yes, small but family is good. Right now we are church gypsies until we find a new church home so no friends there either. I always kept to myself, at a party I stayed in the kitchen just didn't like crowds, so had a catering service go figure! became a RN later and most medical personnel know we don't make friends of patients, and I was not of the drinking crowd so left that stuff up to the younger players. As this season of life envelopes me, husband with dementia limits conversations as they are quite circular, and no friends (he always had a circle of friends)keep contact with him. What I need is a coffee buddy, God has a plan so will wait for that part. Thank you for your insight. My garden is my escape, my chickens live there too..Our childrens farm is small and I do what I do to help there. That mushroom dish? I am so all in!!!
A few very close real friends are better than a hundred acquaintances. Brian, your Church group is one of the best place to find those intimate close friends, brothers and sisters that you are not afraid to get real with.
Just this morning I was on a 4-way call with my best friend here in Oregon and two Christian brothers in Montana for an hour and a half just being in fellowship. I felt closer to them than my nearest neighbor.
Brian, your life group can truly be your life line. Your next step is to join with a couple of men who you trust that you can be completely honest/vulnerable with to support each other in prayer. God bless!
I know how you feel. You are spot on about “getting out there”. Where is Bella???
Before I retired I had some goals and one of them I am fulfilling now and recommend to others. I am taking classes to become a Master Gardener where I get to learn more gardening skills and meet others who have the same passion. After I complete the classes in a few weeks I can go out and share with others what I have learned. I must say this is a great way to join others and I hope to develop new friends.
Thank you for the clip on loneliness and how to thwart it. To have a friend, we must be one. "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17 Small churches are a sure way for everyone to get to know you!
P. S. The mushroom recipe looks yummy. I would also like to suggest that the olive oil be introduced / mixed in with the bread crumbs and other ingredients so that it bonds and makes it easier to add to the mushrooms.
Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing, When you were talking about these issues I totally can relate as well. As a mother of 2 adult (boys) children I’m constantly talking about it with them to make sure they are aware of it and how to integrate with others.
The church marriage group REALLY helped me since I’m the introvert and my husband is the extrovert.
Life is so precious and fun! And if you add gardening it’s a blast☺️
Well said!
So happy for you and Emily. My late husband was an extreme intravert. I am NOT. A move also put us in a very similar situation where we knew no one. After my husband passed away, a neighboors mother saw me ripping out plants from my front yard. (I dislike boxwoods so much!!) She reached out and asked if I would join her for a meeting at the local garden club. Best thing I ever did! I have community and great friends. The key for me, was finding somewhere I belonged.
I've never really been lonely having married at 20 years old and being blessed with our two daughters before the age of 25 (I'm now 70 and within spitting distance of 71), but like you, for many years, I had my core group of friends from childhood. Not until I was in my late 50's did I start socializing more outside of my core group. I did that by joining a group at church and by joining a club that I shared an interest in (fly fishing). The people I've met in these two groups have enriched my life immeasurably and have taught me so much. I never thought that I would ever have a great friend that is 23 years older than me, but I do. Thanks again for the inspiring content. Off to prune my lavender.
I love your videos. They get better and better. Always love the personal touches. ❤thanks for sharing your life.
Glad you like them!
I understand the loneliness & being introverted. And aging does play into it
You are seen by many people and the reason why is because of the person you are. I also think that your human and personal approach to your channel is a plus. 😊
Thank you! I couldn't love this more!
Oh I saw the roses starting to grow up the cottage!!!!
I understand where you are coming from. Being one who needs to do things all the time, you are reminding me that I am not alone at all. I have family, pets, video editing/photos, and gardening that keep me busy. So, I am never alone. Keep doing your thing.
I feel every word you said ❤❤❤ thank you sonic for all you and your family does for the online community
I can so relate to what you are saying! Thank you for sharing and speaking on this!!!!