Really want an update when brothers business fails. Because if you can't find any investors other than your parents chances are either it's not that great of an idea, or you lack the connections to make it a success.
@@Denverbroncos87My thoughts exactly. I'm willing to bet that the dad and brother are so shameless that they'll try to play the old "But we're family" card when they come begging for financial help.
I can easily see where OP is coming from. It's not that OP DESERVES money, but he still gave the brother money for college and most people would also assume there is a college find for them as well, and if there isn't, then he should have said something MUCH sooner.
@@nbusiness9694 And using the name of a dead relative that the father actually seemed to be attached to as an excuse too. How low a slimeball do you have to be to use dead relatives as an excuse behind your lie.
@@nbusiness9694 exactly, if the father had said that from the beginning it may have gone over better (not well, just better by comparison), honestly I think the brother orchestrated it trying to ensure op did not have a college fund
Glad that OPs mother at least started to come to her senses when she realized she was about to lose OP. I do hope she files for divorce, because OPs dad is complete garbage.
I don't care what OP's mother is saying or doing now. She let that favoritism go on for too long and she took too long to put her foot down. She enabled, so while she isn't as bad as OP's father, she still isn't innocent.
OP's mom needs to get the divorce rolling now before dad looses all his net worth in Bro's business. Half of what he's got right now is more than half of nothing when it's all gone.
To be honest if I was op I would tell Mom. I forgive you for lying to me for everything but under one condition you must divorce my dad. He can keep his oldest son to himself. I don't want nothing to do with my father and my brother. They're dead to me if you do this, I'll forgive you. If you don't then you will lose me forever.
He can get a decent job, he just believes he should already be CEO within 6 months of starting work at one. His attitude tells me he'd be a terrible guy to work with and even worse one to work for.
I think OP was too lenient on the mother. It’s nice she grew a spine eventually and came around, but I doubt she would have if OP hadn’t called them out. She was cowardly
I actually completely went NC with mine for a year and it would’ve been longer after all our history, but I don’t know how to explain it other than, if an estranged parents shows even the barest hint that they might improve… most of us will go for it. Personally I keep very strict boundaries right now, and she knows immediately when she oversteps. So far, she’s stepped down on everything I’ve put my foot down about so we’ll see.
I saw that as soon as OP said he'd heard his father brag about getting back 10 times the amount he'd invested in his son. Who the f*ck views their children that way, as an investment towards what they can squeeze out of them later on in life! The only investment your children should be is to society and the future.
Yeah, but when it comes to your kids if you send one to college, then the other should get the same. If they choose not to go, then the second kid shouldn't expect the money. But if the second kids wanted to start a business then maybe use that money to help him. But you don't give tons of money to one kid, then take the second kids money to give to the first kid when he was expecting to go to college and be treated to college like the first kid. At least help to pay for it. That is wrong to treat one child differently and play with SO much money and the other kid who worked hard to flap in the wind like he and his future means nothing.
Maybe I don't trust liars but I'm willing to bet that OP's mother finally looked at the "business plan" and decided to bet on the winning horse so she'll have someone to take care of her later in life. She just threw Dad under the bus so she wouldn't look as bad.
It’s pretty common for businesses to fail within the first 5 years. So, idk why ops dad thinks he’s going to make back money fast. By the time he starts seeing anything op will be in huge debt.
And dad is delulu if he thinks OP’s brother is going to be willing to pay for OP’s student loans. They will find excuses what funds can’t be released so dad could make good on those promises.
The brother has to rely on his parents for the start-up capital, and is likely known as an egotistical jerk in every place he's worked before; I'm almost guarantee that business is failing.
S1 No younger son and no contact with his kids. Yeah, that sounds great especially when parents are old n sick and have no resources thru bad planning/ bad luck/ spending money like water on their golden piglet
19:00 Brilliant. Mommy dearest wants to have her cake (golden piglet) and eat it too (OP forgives her and resumes the parent - dumb kid relationship that they had earlier
At the end: OP should not have gone back.. He should have taken a loan from friend's father OR from the Federal Govt. The mom participated in the deceit and is now trying to sugar coat her part!
Welp. The parents each chose their retirement plan. Hope dear old dad don't expect OP to take care of his decrepit ass when the time comes coz OP's brother doesn't sound like the type to care for the elderly.
Glad the mom started to come to her senses after realizing how bad they messed up, lying and playing favorites is always the quickest way to make your kids hate and disown you. OP did the right thing by going NC.
Your dad had stars in his eyes with the idea of a father and son business. Too bad it's not going to last. It sounds like your brother sucks at personal relationships and those are the most important part of a successful business
But sounds like daddy dearest isn't a poster child for good relationships either, so as the business goes under and they keep shoveling more and more of dad's money into son's business they can sit around and bitch and moan about home the people who won't invest have no vision and do not understand the genus behind their business plan, and how anyone unfortunate enough to work for them are losers and bringing the business down, and how the customers are jerks for actually expecting the goods the buy to be of good quality or the service they provide to be done correctly, quickly and at the agreed upon price. Dan and son are legions in their own minds, and they will be sitting in major financial troubles trying to clean up the wreak of their business, and they will decide that it is all OPs fault, because of course they were perfect.
There is a saying "don't throw good money after bad" and older brother is bad money. Unless he has a come to Jesus moment his buisness will fail due to brothers attitude and just how he is.
I’m glad OP’s mom decided to grow a spine and do the right thing before she lost her son for good. Also I see that the older brother is dad’s golden boy and I believe that when the older brother would come home from college he would either brag about OP to him and downplay his accomplishments to make him feel like he needs to one up OP or he would talk down about OP with the older brother feeding into his ego that he’s the better one between the two of them.
If the mom was able to come up with the money to pay for college for her second child (with the help of her parents), why didn’t she do that in the first place???? She was going to originally invest her money in the 1st son’s business and just apologized to the second son for not helping out. Mom got a pass that she didn’t deserve. She shouldn’t have gotten to shift all the blame on the dad. She was complicit.
What dad said was a total cop out! I get helping the uncle to pay back for the help, but when the dad deliberately lied when he told OP that line of B.S. about bieng Self Reliant, when in reality the money went to older brothers crashing business, is when dad became a Giant Prick.
I'm sure the dad saw his business grad son as the much better investment. I'd say the mom was more guilty about the lie told, at least initially. It would be interesting to see how the new business was doing, because I'm guessing most people who read this are hoping that it it not doing well.
The dad never planned on helping op. Its going to be funny when the business fails. Clearly the dad has a favorite. The mom was told lies and forced into it. Yet the dad and brother are acting like op just did the most evil thing ever. Im sure in a year or two we will hear how it all ended. Or by the time op is out of college the business isn't making the money they thought it would. The fact nether parent could exolain why they were willing to fund the brother over op is so dumb. Im guess op isnt the dads son. Or the dad started pushing the brother more. Or if its just rich people pitting their kids aginst each other. Plus i question why they couldnt give any money to op. Because if the moms was enough with help from the grandparents. Why did this upset the dad and brother so much. Feels like something else is going on. Op cant run from that drama forever. It will catch up to them.
The grandparents probably refused earlier to fund the brother's "business" but willingly agreed to help Op with tuition. That's why the father would be upset.
@@shells500tutubo or he is just mad that his marriage is in danger and he can't manipulate op and his wife anymore. So he naturally blames op because of his own pride.
I would say all of the comments above are valid hypothesis. Definitely dad saw older brother as golden piglet and gravy train. I do agree that OP was far too trusting of mom, but there is probably a lot that was left out because of the 3000 character count limit for AITA.
@anklebiterwoodworks2818 or op is oblivious. Then again, people who are in an abusive situation know when to look away and keep their head down, or else the abuse will come back on them. Or were so used to the toxic behavior that they never learned it was toxic. The word limit could also be a possibility, but then why not put that in an update/replies or edit. But it could also help keep the story from getting back to their family by leaving certain key details out. Or love their family enough to not let out all of the dirt. Anything is possible.
So glad it all worked out for you. Your mom did the right thing and your father is betting on his other son to take care of him in his older years. My guess is that won’t work out. Your mom will get her investments in you back double . Especially if you give her a daughter in law and grandchildren. May God reward you 1000-fold blessings.
you'd of thought the dad would of talked to OP about it way before he applied for college so he could start saving up to go and maybe apply at one he could afford
Why on earth they have 2 children if they are only willing to support one. There's so much people in this world who can't have children and would love to adopt, love and raise them as their own.
I've got half a dozen psychology degrees including Masters and Doctorates in my family courtesy of my eldest brother. I got English degrees to figure out that much crazy through literature.
If OP actually intends to become a professional psychologist, he won't earn much until he has a doctorate. All of the sciences have become insanely competitive, so OP needs to get involved with research, start making presentations at conferences and become a co-author on publications while still an undergraduate. Getting his foot in the academic door that way to build up a CV is much harder at a community college.
Agreed. Personally, I would have stopped mom from the hug at the door and tell her that she needs to prove to me that she is telling the truth and completely committed and show what money/where it is coming from--along with a reminder that their word means nothing at this point: only tangible evidence.
It is a disappointment, but any "child" must know that NO parent has any responsibility to pay for higher education. Loans are a viable alternative. Many countries have grants, scholarships or things that tie school money with doing some form of military or government service.
Give your mother a chance, but tell your dad he’s dead to you and also tell him you’ve chosen the child you want it you lied to me and you made me feel horrible and upset. You had two sons not one.
I wouldn’t have forgiven the mother either. How long would she have gone along with the lie if op hadn’t found out? Would she ever have come clean? Op will never know but if I were op these questions would always be in the back of my mind.
Hate parents who wait until the ELEVENTH HOUR to tell their kids they don't have/lost/spent the money that was for their education. I also hate parents who give all the money to the golden child, while neglecting the other kis(s). And they always wonder why their kids disappear from their lives the second they can. I'd never forgive them.
OPs mom sucks too. If she was so against it and knew it was wrong, but she went along with it anyway until she had consequences, that makes her actions worse, not better...😐
I think its funny when someone lies to another to 'protect their feelings' (i had an ex do this) then when the truth comes out the liar acts all innocent and puts the blame for for the hurt from being lied to on the person they lied to.
I agree with OP the issue isn’t about funding college it is about lying. If OPs parents were honest from the beginning drama and all the issues could have been avoided
Psychology and business have to be on the top 5 stupidest things to go to expensive school to learn. Whole family sounds like they deserve each other tbh.
The dad is really stupid. Instead of investing into OPs future he thinks his sons business will definitely take off and then they can just pay everything off. That is incredibly short-sighted.
Now no one is entitled to their college to be paid for by their parents. But I can understand where Opie is coming from and why he is so upset. Ask for the mother I will cut her off because she was just as applicable to that lie as anybody else in that family. If it was an issue with her if she would have said something the first go-round she would not have waited till it got to this point but she was right there co-signing her husband's lie and didn't say anything. So I wouldn't care if they get a divorce or not because it's not Opie's problem to fix their marriage because of them being liars. Both of them lied.
Not sure if you can Assume this that you get a collage fund but as a young Adult I think kids need to take a few off years to earn the funds but I must say cost of education should be cheaper in USA
When his father said that he wouldn't pay for college, he should have said,"Before this goes any further, let's get rid of the elephant in the room... I'll do an DNA test to find out if you really are my father.". LOL
The engineer father knows the real market value of a Psychology degree and would rather invest in older bro's business. However, older bro's business has a very low chance of success, as well.
NTA OP. You did not ruin anything. It was your father's blatant favouritism and lies which ruined his marriage. Your mother was not blameless in that, as she also earns a wage, she could have put her foot down and flat refused to abandon you financially when first your father decided to. Your father's bad character has caused this blow up and your feelings are entirely justified. Huge hug, OP, and good luck.
Op you have a very selfish father and brother he could at least told you the truth and the lie about it but he couldn’t even do that. I’m glad you and your mom are out from underneath her thumbs
Protect you? From what? Your parents prefer your brother and that the whole thing. Nope let this pass go no contact. Your mother‘s crocodile tears shouldn’t change anything. They can’t take it back. They have always preferred your brother
NTA. As OP said, there's a Golden Child, and it's not him. The brother is such an overbearing ass that it's almost a given that his business is quickly going to fold, and Daddy's going to lose his shirt. I guess I'll find out in the updates if any of this is right. Well, no revelations on that, but I would be quite surprised if mom and dad don't end up divorced, and Golden Boy ends up finding that a prestigious school doesn't make up for lack of common sense.
I know people are bashing the mom. But she realized she made a horrible decision, admitted to her son and tried to make amends. She took accountability for it. She did what adults are suppose to do when they screw up. The OP forgiving is always up to him.
Considering the brother's attitude and the fact the only investors he could find were his parents, I'm betting his business is going to fail sooner rather than later. Dad will try to come back with his tail between his legs, but hopefully his wife will have kept her shiny new spine and serve him the divorce papers rather than forgiveness.
Your mom is probably lying through her teeth to try and just protect her reputation the fact of the matter is if she really cared she would have put her foot down so she is just as guilty as Dad but it doesn't surprise me that she tried to put it all on the on the husband because that's what a lot of women who have favorite children do they blame everyone but themselves
But I'm also a firm believer that you should pay for your own College. everyone should pay for their own college and you should pay off your own loans for going to that college I don't think that the government should give you forgiveness and just take the responsibility of paying for money that you borrowed away. You're an adult now it's time to do your adult responsibilities it is no one else's job to take care of you. I always told my parents if I ever go to college I'll pay for it myself because you already took care of me from birth until adulthood from here on out it's my turn to take care of me of course I didn't go to college because the place is a fucking joke and it's stupid expensive and you don't learn nothing and the degrees are like toilet paper because even after you graduate most college graduates end up working a regular 9 to 5 meet know if I were to overdo higher education it would be a trade school but I would pay for it myself because I'm the one who wants the degree so I'm the one who should pay for it. I do think that if a parent pays for one child's college education then they should pay for all of their children's college education because that is only fair and I stand firm that Mom only changed their tune because he said I ain't having it and she didn't like it more than likely she was more worried about her reputation than anything else. But it's very clear that she is guilty of showing favoritism towards the oldest son. And I'm Petty and hold grudges so I I wouldn't forgive her well now if you really gave a damn you should have stood up for me in the first place I'm out.
@@goddesschild24But Op 😅is 17 as he mentioned earlier.. And if hetakes student loan for his tution i don't think he would be able to pay it off Concedaring how much interest the have to pay. His parents said they would pay off the debt after his brother's business would make profit but what the business fails then what?? If they can pay for his brother's tution and business , they should be able to pay for his tution atleast
@@goddesschild24I don't mind the idea of children paying for their own college. As long as there is regulations in place to protect against high interest rates. Ideally it should be interest free. We regularly hear horror stories of people who have been paying on their loans for a decade, yet still owe as much as they did before. Or those with 50000 debt from the start, who end up paying 150000 because of predatory lending.
You know, I think a lot of people have no idea just what it is like to live with a toxic, narcissistic, controlling man. OPs mom has been with her husband for a long time and she has been getting gas lighted, manipulated and emotionally abused by the POS for a long damn time. I know what she probably went through, and the truth is it usually takes something really big, like OP walking away from the family and mom being put into a position of actually seeing who and what she is married to, and the enormous price she is expected to pay to stay married to him, before she gets the strength enough to break free. I basically came to my senses after 25 years of marriage to a man who started out our marriage telling me how wonderful, perfect, and lucky he was to have me in his life, to a man who had quit talking to me except to criticize me, who was retired but staying out of the house for 12 to 14 hours a day, every day, and who hadn't touched me or been tender toward me for 2 years. As I was sitting alone in our apartment with no transportation, no money, babysitting his two dogs, I realized that I was never going to get my chance at life or having the things I wanted unless he died. That in the end all of the overtime he had worked, all of the college classes he had taken, all of the debt he had taken out, all in the name of making life better for us was a lie, because life hadn't been better for since he had managed to isolate me from friends and family and take away my ability to even drive to a store and get groceries to make a dinner that I wanted. My whole life centered around him and his wants and needs, and as long as I stayed, I would never get a chance. I was sitting there actually contemplating how soon he would have to die so that after I got the insurance money, I could pay off his debts and perhaps have enough left over to buy me a car and go out with friends for lunch. It was one of the scariest things I ever did, deciding after 25 years of marriage that I was tired of all of the lies and controlling behavior. I was tired of being made to feel guilty whenever I went to my daughter's home to see the grandkids and spend the night. I was tired of being told that if I wanted to do something to just make plans and do it, and when I did, he would force me to cancel my plans because his class was more important, his dogs were more important, his going to the gym was more important. Truth was the only thing in his life not important was me, and I felt like such an idiot for letting him treat me so terrible. So, I think OPs mom let shit go for too long. But that is the nature of being manipulated by a toxic A&&hole like OPs father.
@@goddesschild24Tell me you don't know how student loan forgiveness works without saying so. You still have to pay off the principle you borrowed. It forgives the CRIMINAL amount of interest you are charged.
So USA funds free education and healthcare for Israel and it's settlers. But US Citizen are forced to pay for everything and also get so many taxes? Man talk about a third world country with a Gucci belt. I'm very glad education is free where I'm from. I've never paid a dime for tuition in my entire life, and I have a master in Language sciences
She just refused to go against the money. She was more than willing to throw him under the bus (and get in and drive it over him) to keep her hands on hubby's money and the lifestyle it provided. Sounds like the type who would throw OP out in the street if her second husband wants nothing to do with her children of a previous marriage. I also wonder if OP was either an OOPS baby thus seen as a financial burden by daddy, or perhaps an affair baby that daddy wants out of his house and wallet ASAP. Remember dude, mommy is no saint here, she's just upset that her part in the whole scheme came out and wants to keep her @$$ covered and not look like a bad parent to friends and family.
So the older brother is okay with screwing over his younger brother by getting the parents to give him younger brro's college money for an iffy business. With relatives like his father a d brother that poor guy doesn't need any more enemies. Big brother is an AH and the father is an even bigger AH! Being the younger sibling sucks!
I can see the dad’s logic but he failed to take on board his son’s feelings and lied in the process. Now he has no option but to make his elder’s son’s business work or look even more stupid.
I feel bad for OP. she is NTA. Butt one thing Both OP and brother have one thing in common. Both of them dont have confidence. Bro failed at business and OP already is not sure of how long she'll take to finish the loan as she feels she may not get a good job. Like seriously? And she fekt bad theybwerent confident about her. Dude u r not confident urself. And y eould ool randomly educate u? Find what's up there
So if his mother actually was being sincere she wouldnt have been blatantly lieing about it. She was completely on board with it and committed to her lies. She didnt give a shit about her hurting him, his future or their relationship. She realized however that it all was completely transparent to everyone they know how they are as parents and people. She didn't accept her responsibility for her choices and she insisted instead to lie her ass off and blame someone else for her own actions and not giving one f about her son. Thats what they ment by "do this to us". Not covering for them about them treating him like a worthless afterthought more of a family pet or such not a real family member. Wonder where his brother got his lead from? His patents, both of them. Obvious the lies where her contribution even if the idea to lie to him was his. She never opposed it and always fully supported it. Untill their personal character was completely socially transparent.
The father is but I will give his mother a little bit of credit. She did recognize her mistake and set out to fix it on her own. As for the father and Op's brother, both of them are AH and I guarantee you that all that money in the business will go to waste since the brother has a bad attitude and will not change IMO. Op's father is betting on the wrong brother, and I cannot wait to see in the years that follow his entire bet goes down the drain.
@@RequiemPoete Yeah I feel the same way, and it is not worth it. I still believe though that the brother will leave the father high and dry once he succeeds given his personality. Either way it goes, Op's dad loses in the end.
Parents should always treat children equally. His mother, at least, is trying to make it right. His Father is a total POS ad he should stay no contact. I hope karma calls and they lose everything in the new business.
OP sounds more than a little selfish. And running away in the middle of the night is childish. I just can't sympathize with OP. Something about this whole situation just doesn't sit right with me. The whole family sounds like a bag of loons. OP sounds like a spoiled brat who ran away from home to get what he wanted. Yes, Dad and Older brother do sound like a pair of douches, but still, the whole thing sounds shady.
i really fill OP you are a bit selfish... so thing is you are not owed a college education. you should fill bad about putting your mom in debt just because she feels guilty about what was done to you. you should not make her pay knowing she does not have money or savings and is borrowing for you an adult.. college is a privilege not a requirement from our parents. it's really nice when they can do for us but if they can't we are to take the responsibility or find a job. what your dad or mom did with their money is their business not yours. not matter... sorry don't agree with you at all
To be honest, I don't understand this whole college/university stuff. Parents don't really have to pay for their children to go in my opinion. Sure student loans are a pain to deal with especially having to pay it off when it comes to getting a full-time job but you can also learn to become independent and not rely on your parents to pay for things. However, I can kind of see where op is coming from, it is unfair to pay for one sibling to go and not them, use the money just for the brother's business, it's pretty stupid. When it comes to college, op should've talked to his parents in the first place as you can't always assume there is a college fund or whatever. The mother may grew a spine but she shouldn't enabled it for too long also the father is a complete AH.
It's foreign to me, that a college age adult thinks he is entitled to a say about where other people chose to invest their money. Your parents money, is not yours. They can burn it, or donate it to cat charities...It doesn't belong to you.
Really? It's their son, and they have the money to support them both, especially when knowing that taking a student loan can put them in debt for life. If the business failed the brother should work on his own, some help sure but not at the cost of OP's future. And they should have told the truth, even then I doubt OP would forgive the betrayal and lies
But they can’t, morally, ethically, logically, societally, etc not freaking okay to give to one kid you decided to spawn and not the other… you chose to bone, not the kid.
I agree with you to a certain extent. But having this big lie and then giving monies to the brother is where it is totalling wrong. They should have told the truth from the start without lying. The lying then finding out about the betrayal is where it goes wrong.
I say esh, of course it's unfair to op, however op seems to think he's owed his parent's money. I'm kind of sick of these entitled spoiled brats who are middle to upperclass demanding their parent's money , like it's the worst thing, life destroying unforgiveable thing if their parents don't pay for their college, and their lives are over. When there are kids out there actually are struggling and do anything they can to even be able to go to college, I saw another story where a dad didn't have contact with his son since before he was borrn and the mom went to his family to say her son was "suffering" because they couldn't afford to send him to hid top ivy league, expensive school as though it was the optitamy of "suffering" God forbid *gasp that he go somewhere else mor affordable like state ore even worse, community college, but we all know he will die if he doesn't get into the most expensive university in the country. My point being is that op is blessed to be able to go and not worry, but not expect to be owed a college fund. But also, the dad and brother are the ah's too, him for leaving his wife over his bruised ego which he caused himself by lying. The brother was raised to be greedy, but also op if he doesn't get his way, his brother is the golden child and he is the victim.
That's not really fair is it? Ok surely could have the expectation that they would treat him the same as his brother! Or at least warn him a bit earlier than when he had his college sorted out and was within months of heading off. He had internships, so he wasn't sitting on his hands. He might have been able to sort out better paying work too.
I can see the dad’s logic but he failed to take on board his son’s feelings and lied in the process. Now he has no option but to make his elder’s son’s business work or look even more stupid.
Really want an update when brothers business fails. Because if you can't find any investors other than your parents chances are either it's not that great of an idea, or you lack the connections to make it a success.
Or
Lack connections in their head
@@Denverbroncos87My thoughts exactly.
I'm willing to bet that the dad and brother are so shameless that they'll try to play the old "But we're family" card when they come begging for financial help.
A successful business is dependent on networking, which his older brother is useless at.
I can easily see where OP is coming from. It's not that OP DESERVES money, but he still gave the brother money for college and most people would also assume there is a college find for them as well, and if there isn't, then he should have said something MUCH sooner.
What's worse, there WAS money for college but they stole it to give to the brother.
It's the lying, it proves his dad has no respect or lover for him.
@@nbusiness9694 And using the name of a dead relative that the father actually seemed to be attached to as an excuse too. How low a slimeball do you have to be to use dead relatives as an excuse behind your lie.
@@nbusiness9694 exactly, if the father had said that from the beginning it may have gone over better (not well, just better by comparison), honestly I think the brother orchestrated it trying to ensure op did not have a college fund
Glad that OPs mother at least started to come to her senses when she realized she was about to lose OP. I do hope she files for divorce, because OPs dad is complete garbage.
She didn't come to her senses
OP had a parent grow a spine and actually prove she loves him? Not the happiest ending overall, but for OP it is!
lol the mom is even worse for the way she acts. she kept quite as long as OP accepted the lie. her guilt doesn't make her a saint.
@@Chickenfriedpenguinthis! She’s nothing but a spineless coward who enabled the brother and dad until it made her look bad and she got caught.
I don't care what OP's mother is saying or doing now.
She let that favoritism go on for too long and she took too long to put her foot down.
She enabled, so while she isn't as bad as OP's father, she still isn't innocent.
OP's mom needs to get the divorce rolling now before dad looses all his net worth in Bro's business. Half of what he's got right now is more than half of nothing when it's all gone.
To be honest if I was op I would tell Mom. I forgive you for lying to me for everything but under one condition you must divorce my dad. He can keep his oldest son to himself. I don't want nothing to do with my father and my brother. They're dead to me if you do this, I'll forgive you. If you don't then you will lose me forever.
Loses
Lying about it shows they knew they were wrong. People who feel they are in the right don't have to lie about what they are doing.
Bro's business will be a total failure. If the man cannot even get a decent job he certainly will not be able to run a business.
He can get a decent job, he just believes he should already be CEO within 6 months of starting work at one. His attitude tells me he'd be a terrible guy to work with and even worse one to work for.
@@SH-qs7eehe’s a golden child. He’ll he a nightmare to work with in any context.
"it was not my intention to hurt you"
But it wasn't your intention to support me, was it?
A good one.
"But you did!"
I think OP was too lenient on the mother. It’s nice she grew a spine eventually and came around, but I doubt she would have if OP hadn’t called them out. She was cowardly
I actually completely went NC with mine for a year and it would’ve been longer after all our history, but I don’t know how to explain it other than, if an estranged parents shows even the barest hint that they might improve… most of us will go for it. Personally I keep very strict boundaries right now, and she knows immediately when she oversteps. So far, she’s stepped down on everything I’ve put my foot down about so we’ll see.
Father is the definition of pos parent
I saw that as soon as OP said he'd heard his father brag about getting back 10 times the amount he'd invested in his son.
Who the f*ck views their children that way, as an investment towards what they can squeeze out of them later on in life! The only investment your children should be is to society and the future.
I never understand people who treat there kids like this
It's their money, they can do what they want with it. But they have to live with the consequences.
The money was only a fraction of the problem. The lies and disregard for OP are significant.
Yeah, but when it comes to your kids if you send one to college, then the other should get the same. If they choose not to go, then the second kid shouldn't expect the money. But if the second kids wanted to start a business then maybe use that money to help him. But you don't give tons of money to one kid, then take the second kids money to give to the first kid when he was expecting to go to college and be treated to college like the first kid. At least help to pay for it. That is wrong to treat one child differently and play with SO much money and the other kid who worked hard to flap in the wind like he and his future means nothing.
Maybe I don't trust liars but I'm willing to bet that OP's mother finally looked at the "business plan" and decided to bet on the winning horse so she'll have someone to take care of her later in life. She just threw Dad under the bus so she wouldn't look as bad.
It’s pretty common for businesses to fail within the first 5 years. So, idk why ops dad thinks he’s going to make back money fast. By the time he starts seeing anything op will be in huge debt.
Because people want to believe money grows on trees
And dad is delulu if he thinks OP’s brother is going to be willing to pay for OP’s student loans. They will find excuses what funds can’t be released so dad could make good on those promises.
@@stirrednotshaken4823 I agree
@@girl1213 you aren’t wrong with that statement.
The brother has to rely on his parents for the start-up capital, and is likely known as an egotistical jerk in every place he's worked before; I'm almost guarantee that business is failing.
S1 No younger son and no contact with his kids.
Yeah, that sounds great especially when parents are old n sick and have no resources thru bad planning/ bad luck/ spending money like water on their golden piglet
19:00 Brilliant. Mommy dearest wants to have her cake (golden piglet) and eat it too (OP forgives her and resumes the parent - dumb kid relationship that they had earlier
At the end: OP should not have gone back.. He should have taken a loan from friend's father OR from the Federal Govt.
The mom participated in the deceit and is now trying to sugar coat her part!
Love the golden-piglet. 😂
@@rhondasisco-cleveland2665 Yeah, one of the best comments I have ever seen to describe the golden hog.
The oop was bribed by mommy dearest and he rolled over shows his belly and became a doormat.
Welp. The parents each chose their retirement plan. Hope dear old dad don't expect OP to take care of his decrepit ass when the time comes coz OP's brother doesn't sound like the type to care for the elderly.
I certainly wouldn't if my parents treated me like this.
Glad the mom started to come to her senses after realizing how bad they messed up, lying and playing favorites is always the quickest way to make your kids hate and disown you. OP did the right thing by going NC.
Your dad had stars in his eyes with the idea of a father and son business. Too bad it's not going to last. It sounds like your brother sucks at personal relationships and those are the most important part of a successful business
But sounds like daddy dearest isn't a poster child for good relationships either, so as the business goes under and they keep shoveling more and more of dad's money into son's business they can sit around and bitch and moan about home the people who won't invest have no vision and do not understand the genus behind their business plan, and how anyone unfortunate enough to work for them are losers and bringing the business down, and how the customers are jerks for actually expecting the goods the buy to be of good quality or the service they provide to be done correctly, quickly and at the agreed upon price. Dan and son are legions in their own minds, and they will be sitting in major financial troubles trying to clean up the wreak of their business, and they will decide that it is all OPs fault, because of course they were perfect.
Typo "legends in their own mind" not "legions"...auto-correct is really a pain!
There is a saying "don't throw good money after bad" and older brother is bad money. Unless he has a come to Jesus moment his buisness will fail due to brothers attitude and just how he is.
Yes, but will his business fail before he bankrupts his father?
@@chuckphillips5682 who cares ? they are both pieces of shit.
Alaska has a saying, " A fishing boat is a hole in the water that you throw money in."
OP, let your folks know that any $ “invested” in your brother’s “business” will be lost.
I’m glad OP’s mom decided to grow a spine and do the right thing before she lost her son for good. Also I see that the older brother is dad’s golden boy and I believe that when the older brother would come home from college he would either brag about OP to him and downplay his accomplishments to make him feel like he needs to one up OP or he would talk down about OP with the older brother feeding into his ego that he’s the better one between the two of them.
If the mom was able to come up with the money to pay for college for her second child (with the help of her parents), why didn’t she do that in the first place????
She was going to originally invest her money in the 1st son’s business and just apologized to the second son for not helping out.
Mom got a pass that she didn’t deserve. She shouldn’t have gotten to shift all the blame on the dad. She was complicit.
What dad said was a total cop out! I get helping the uncle to pay back for the help, but when the dad deliberately lied when he told OP that line of B.S. about bieng Self Reliant, when in reality the money went to older brothers crashing business, is when dad became a Giant Prick.
I'm sure the dad saw his business grad son as the much better investment. I'd say the mom was more guilty about the lie told, at least initially. It would be interesting to see how the new business was doing, because I'm guessing most people who read this are hoping that it it not doing well.
Considering the people involved, it’s predoomed
The dad never planned on helping op. Its going to be funny when the business fails. Clearly the dad has a favorite. The mom was told lies and forced into it. Yet the dad and brother are acting like op just did the most evil thing ever. Im sure in a year or two we will hear how it all ended. Or by the time op is out of college the business isn't making the money they thought it would.
The fact nether parent could exolain why they were willing to fund the brother over op is so dumb. Im guess op isnt the dads son. Or the dad started pushing the brother more. Or if its just rich people pitting their kids aginst each other. Plus i question why they couldnt give any money to op. Because if the moms was enough with help from the grandparents. Why did this upset the dad and brother so much. Feels like something else is going on.
Op cant run from that drama forever. It will catch up to them.
The grandparents probably refused earlier to fund the brother's "business" but willingly agreed to help Op with tuition. That's why the father would be upset.
@@shells500tutubo or he is just mad that his marriage is in danger and he can't manipulate op and his wife anymore. So he naturally blames op because of his own pride.
I would say all of the comments above are valid hypothesis. Definitely dad saw older brother as golden piglet and gravy train. I do agree that OP was far too trusting of mom, but there is probably a lot that was left out because of the 3000 character count limit for AITA.
@anklebiterwoodworks2818 or op is oblivious. Then again, people who are in an abusive situation know when to look away and keep their head down, or else the abuse will come back on them. Or were so used to the toxic behavior that they never learned it was toxic.
The word limit could also be a possibility, but then why not put that in an update/replies or edit. But it could also help keep the story from getting back to their family by leaving certain key details out. Or love their family enough to not let out all of the dirt. Anything is possible.
Why is the father favoring one son?
Sometimes, people are just AHs.
Simple question OP should ask parents, especially dad: what’s in it for me to go home? More lies and neglect?
So glad it all worked out for you. Your mom did the right thing and your father is betting on his other son to take care of him in his older years.
My guess is that won’t work out.
Your mom will get her investments in you back double .
Especially if you give her a daughter in law and grandchildren.
May God reward you 1000-fold blessings.
Psychology pays very well in the USA.
Go NC with your brother and father.
you'd of thought the dad would of talked to OP about it way before he applied for college so he could start saving up to go and maybe apply at one he could afford
Why on earth they have 2 children if they are only willing to support one. There's so much people in this world who can't have children and would love to adopt, love and raise them as their own.
That is such a shame.
Further proof that happy homes do not produce psychology majors!!!😂
It's really more the "going to uni to party" degree, similiar to Communications.
I've got half a dozen psychology degrees including Masters and Doctorates in my family courtesy of my eldest brother. I got English degrees to figure out that much crazy through literature.
BA in Liver Cirrosis with a minor in Chlamydia.
@@anonmouse15 Must have missed those on the course catalog...
Op should go to community college 2yrs first to save money then transfer to 4yr college
If OP actually intends to become a professional psychologist, he won't earn much until he has a doctorate. All of the sciences have become insanely competitive, so OP needs to get involved with research, start making presentations at conferences and become a co-author on publications while still an undergraduate. Getting his foot in the academic door that way to build up a CV is much harder at a community college.
Adults don't "run away from home."
He was just around 18, so, cut the narration some slack. Honestly, when I was OP's age, 43 now, I would have called it the same.
I wouldn't count this money before your mother hands it over.
Agreed. Personally, I would have stopped mom from the hug at the door and tell her that she needs to prove to me that she is telling the truth and completely committed and show what money/where it is coming from--along with a reminder that their word means nothing at this point: only tangible evidence.
Leave them to their golden child
It is a disappointment, but any "child" must know that NO parent has any responsibility to pay for higher education. Loans are a viable alternative. Many countries have grants, scholarships or things that tie school money with doing some form of military or government service.
Going to a business college doesn't make you a qualified business owner
Give your mother a chance, but tell your dad he’s dead to you and also tell him you’ve chosen the child you want it you lied to me and you made me feel horrible and upset. You had two sons not one.
Brother's business will probably fail so OP should not count on any help with student loans.😊😊
I wouldn’t have forgiven the mother either. How long would she have gone along with the lie if op hadn’t found out? Would she ever have come clean? Op will never know but if I were op these questions would always be in the back of my mind.
Hate parents who wait until the ELEVENTH HOUR to tell their kids they don't have/lost/spent the money that was for their education. I also hate parents who give all the money to the golden child, while neglecting the other kis(s). And they always wonder why their kids disappear from their lives the second they can. I'd never forgive them.
OPs mom sucks too. If she was so against it and knew it was wrong, but she went along with it anyway until she had consequences, that makes her actions worse, not better...😐
Is that really his father?🤔
What lousy parents!
I think its funny when someone lies to another to 'protect their feelings' (i had an ex do this) then when the truth comes out the liar acts all innocent and puts the blame for for the hurt from being lied to on the person they lied to.
I would take nothing from any of them and when they came begging , and they will one day , they would get nothing !!!
I agree with OP the issue isn’t about funding college it is about lying. If OPs parents were honest from the beginning drama and all the issues could have been avoided
Psychology and business have to be on the top 5 stupidest things to go to expensive school to learn.
Whole family sounds like they deserve each other tbh.
I didn’t know people were still getting psych degrees in this day and age
I would say that their business is likely doomed due to arrogance, it they both seem to be sociopaths, which is a plus in business.
The dad is really stupid. Instead of investing into OPs future he thinks his sons business will definitely take off and then they can just pay everything off. That is incredibly short-sighted.
I agree with dad. These are some first world problems. I wouldn’t of lied to my son as dad did but op needs to grow up
Now no one is entitled to their college to be paid for by their parents.
But I can understand where Opie is coming from and why he is so upset.
Ask for the mother I will cut her off because she was just as applicable to that lie as anybody else in that family.
If it was an issue with her if she would have said something the first go-round she would not have waited till it got to this point but she was right there co-signing her husband's lie and didn't say anything.
So I wouldn't care if they get a divorce or not because it's not Opie's problem to fix their marriage because of them being liars. Both of them lied.
You are correct. But you can't fund one kids college and not anothers
Not sure if you can Assume this that you get a collage fund but as a young Adult I think kids need to take a few off years to earn the funds but I must say cost of education should be cheaper in USA
OP shouldve ask his parents if he was an affair child
When his father said that he wouldn't pay for college, he should have said,"Before this goes any further, let's get rid of the elephant in the room... I'll do an DNA test to find out if you really are my father.". LOL
Womp womp for the parents
The engineer father knows the real market value of a Psychology degree and would rather invest in older bro's business. However, older bro's business has a very low chance of success, as well.
NTA OP. You did not ruin anything. It was your father's blatant favouritism and lies which ruined his marriage. Your mother was not blameless in that, as she also earns a wage, she could have put her foot down and flat refused to abandon you financially when first your father decided to. Your father's bad character has caused this blow up and your feelings are entirely justified. Huge hug, OP, and good luck.
Op you have a very selfish father and brother he could at least told you the truth and the lie about it but he couldn’t even do that. I’m glad you and your mom are out from underneath her thumbs
Mum can leave and take half of everything. That will stop the money grubbing...
Protect you? From what? Your parents prefer your brother and that the whole thing. Nope let this pass go no contact. Your mother‘s crocodile tears shouldn’t change anything. They can’t take it back. They have always preferred your brother
OP you didn't ruin his marriage your father did with his favoritism towards one child
The mother is trash, she isn’t remorseful she just can’t accept accountability for his actions.
I find it really fascinating that we go into debt with the bank for student loans instead of just owing the school. It’s a weird set up.
Profitable for the banks and colleges.
Colleges will not let you enroll for a 2d semester if the first is not paid for. They do not allow student dead heads.
I don't think any bank in the US has given out a student loan since 2008 when the government took over the student loan industry.
edit: 2010
OPs mother is flawed, just like everyone else but his dad and brother are toxic and best ignored.
NTA.
As OP said, there's a Golden Child, and it's not him.
The brother is such an overbearing ass that it's almost a given that his business is quickly going to fold, and Daddy's going to lose his shirt.
I guess I'll find out in the updates if any of this is right.
Well, no revelations on that, but I would be quite surprised if mom and dad don't end up divorced, and Golden Boy ends up finding that a prestigious school doesn't make up for lack of common sense.
OP = NTA
I know people are bashing the mom. But she realized she made a horrible decision, admitted to her son and tried to make amends. She took accountability for it. She did what adults are suppose to do when they screw up. The OP forgiving is always up to him.
Considering the brother's attitude and the fact the only investors he could find were his parents, I'm betting his business is going to fail sooner rather than later. Dad will try to come back with his tail between his legs, but hopefully his wife will have kept her shiny new spine and serve him the divorce papers rather than forgiveness.
OP can call his Mom is not hard.... 🤔
Psychology 🤷🏾♀️
Your mom is probably lying through her teeth to try and just protect her reputation the fact of the matter is if she really cared she would have put her foot down so she is just as guilty as Dad but it doesn't surprise me that she tried to put it all on the on the husband because that's what a lot of women who have favorite children do they blame everyone but themselves
But I'm also a firm believer that you should pay for your own College. everyone should pay for their own college and you should pay off your own loans for going to that college I don't think that the government should give you forgiveness and just take the responsibility of paying for money that you borrowed away. You're an adult now it's time to do your adult responsibilities it is no one else's job to take care of you. I always told my parents if I ever go to college I'll pay for it myself because you already took care of me from birth until adulthood from here on out it's my turn to take care of me of course I didn't go to college because the place is a fucking joke and it's stupid expensive and you don't learn nothing and the degrees are like toilet paper because even after you graduate most college graduates end up working a regular 9 to 5 meet know if I were to overdo higher education it would be a trade school but I would pay for it myself because I'm the one who wants the degree so I'm the one who should pay for it. I do think that if a parent pays for one child's college education then they should pay for all of their children's college education because that is only fair and I stand firm that Mom only changed their tune because he said I ain't having it and she didn't like it more than likely she was more worried about her reputation than anything else. But it's very clear that she is guilty of showing favoritism towards the oldest son. And I'm Petty and hold grudges so I I wouldn't forgive her well now if you really gave a damn you should have stood up for me in the first place I'm out.
@@goddesschild24But Op 😅is 17 as he mentioned earlier.. And if hetakes student loan for his tution i don't think he would be able to pay it off Concedaring how much interest the have to pay. His parents said they would pay off the debt after his brother's business would make profit but what the business fails then what??
If they can pay for his brother's tution and business , they should be able to pay for his tution atleast
@@goddesschild24I don't mind the idea of children paying for their own college. As long as there is regulations in place to protect against high interest rates. Ideally it should be interest free. We regularly hear horror stories of people who have been paying on their loans for a decade, yet still owe as much as they did before. Or those with 50000 debt from the start, who end up paying 150000 because of predatory lending.
You know, I think a lot of people have no idea just what it is like to live with a toxic, narcissistic, controlling man. OPs mom has been with her husband for a long time and she has been getting gas lighted, manipulated and emotionally abused by the POS for a long damn time. I know what she probably went through, and the truth is it usually takes something really big, like OP walking away from the family and mom being put into a position of actually seeing who and what she is married to, and the enormous price she is expected to pay to stay married to him, before she gets the strength enough to break free.
I basically came to my senses after 25 years of marriage to a man who started out our marriage telling me how wonderful, perfect, and lucky he was to have me in his life, to a man who had quit talking to me except to criticize me, who was retired but staying out of the house for 12 to 14 hours a day, every day, and who hadn't touched me or been tender toward me for 2 years. As I was sitting alone in our apartment with no transportation, no money, babysitting his two dogs, I realized that I was never going to get my chance at life or having the things I wanted unless he died. That in the end all of the overtime he had worked, all of the college classes he had taken, all of the debt he had taken out, all in the name of making life better for us was a lie, because life hadn't been better for since he had managed to isolate me from friends and family and take away my ability to even drive to a store and get groceries to make a dinner that I wanted. My whole life centered around him and his wants and needs, and as long as I stayed, I would never get a chance. I was sitting there actually contemplating how soon he would have to die so that after I got the insurance money, I could pay off his debts and perhaps have enough left over to buy me a car and go out with friends for lunch.
It was one of the scariest things I ever did, deciding after 25 years of marriage that I was tired of all of the lies and controlling behavior. I was tired of being made to feel guilty whenever I went to my daughter's home to see the grandkids and spend the night. I was tired of being told that if I wanted to do something to just make plans and do it, and when I did, he would force me to cancel my plans because his class was more important, his dogs were more important, his going to the gym was more important. Truth was the only thing in his life not important was me, and I felt like such an idiot for letting him treat me so terrible.
So, I think OPs mom let shit go for too long. But that is the nature of being manipulated by a toxic A&&hole like OPs father.
@@goddesschild24Tell me you don't know how student loan forgiveness works without saying so. You still have to pay off the principle you borrowed. It forgives the CRIMINAL amount of interest you are charged.
So USA funds free education and healthcare for Israel and it's settlers. But US Citizen are forced to pay for everything and also get so many taxes? Man talk about a third world country with a Gucci belt. I'm very glad education is free where I'm from. I've never paid a dime for tuition in my entire life, and I have a master in Language sciences
She just refused to go against the money. She was more than willing to throw him under the bus (and get in and drive it over him) to keep her hands on hubby's money and the lifestyle it provided. Sounds like the type who would throw OP out in the street if her second husband wants nothing to do with her children of a previous marriage. I also wonder if OP was either an OOPS baby thus seen as a financial burden by daddy, or perhaps an affair baby that daddy wants out of his house and wallet ASAP. Remember dude, mommy is no saint here, she's just upset that her part in the whole scheme came out and wants to keep her @$$ covered and not look like a bad parent to friends and family.
So the older brother is okay with screwing over his younger brother by getting the parents to give him younger brro's college money for an iffy business. With relatives like his father a d brother that poor guy doesn't need any more enemies. Big brother is an AH and the father is an even bigger AH! Being the younger sibling sucks!
OP was selfish...thats it....
I can see the dad’s logic but he failed to take on board his son’s feelings and lied in the process. Now he has no option but to make his elder’s son’s business work or look even more stupid.
Maybe it's just me but I find it aggravating how slow the stories are read!
I feel bad for OP. she is NTA.
Butt one thing
Both OP and brother have one thing in common.
Both of them dont have confidence. Bro failed at business and OP already is not sure of how long she'll take to finish the loan as she feels she may not get a good job. Like seriously? And she fekt bad theybwerent confident about her. Dude u r not confident urself. And y eould ool randomly educate u? Find what's up there
So if his mother actually was being sincere she wouldnt have been blatantly lieing about it.
She was completely on board with it and committed to her lies.
She didnt give a shit about her hurting him, his future or their relationship. She realized however that it all was completely transparent to everyone they know how they are as parents and people.
She didn't accept her responsibility for her choices and she insisted instead to lie her ass off and blame someone else for her own actions and not giving one f about her son.
Thats what they ment by "do this to us". Not covering for them about them treating him like a worthless afterthought more of a family pet or such not a real family member.
Wonder where his brother got his lead from? His patents, both of them.
Obvious the lies where her contribution even if the idea to lie to him was his.
She never opposed it and always fully supported it. Untill their personal character was completely socially transparent.
Parents are awful and pathetic
The father is but I will give his mother a little bit of credit. She did recognize her mistake and set out to fix it on her own. As for the father and Op's brother, both of them are AH and I guarantee you that all that money in the business will go to waste since the brother has a bad attitude and will not change IMO. Op's father is betting on the wrong brother, and I cannot wait to see in the years that follow his entire bet goes down the drain.
@brad5167 Even if the brother does succeed I hope it was worth his wife and other son.
@@RequiemPoete Yeah I feel the same way, and it is not worth it. I still believe though that the brother will leave the father high and dry once he succeeds given his personality. Either way it goes, Op's dad loses in the end.
Hate to tell OP that new grads with a Psychology degree usually end up working at Starbucks.
Parents should always treat children equally. His mother, at least, is trying to make it right. His Father is a total POS ad he should stay no contact. I hope karma calls and they lose everything in the new business.
Whiney rich kid.
In all fairness, he isn't going to make money with a bachelor's in psychology.
Yes, academic inflation means that to make money in any of the sciences you need a doctorate.
This story is pathetic. 18 years old run away from home. What will he do being gone for the 2 weeks. Must be hard coming from money.
OP sounds more than a little selfish. And running away in the middle of the night is childish. I just can't sympathize with OP. Something about this whole situation just doesn't sit right with me. The whole family sounds like a bag of loons. OP sounds like a spoiled brat who ran away from home to get what he wanted. Yes, Dad and Older brother do sound like a pair of douches, but still, the whole thing sounds shady.
i really fill OP you are a bit selfish... so thing is you are not owed a college education. you should fill bad about putting your mom in debt just because she feels guilty about what was done to you. you should not make her pay knowing she does not have money or savings and is borrowing for you an adult.. college is a privilege not a requirement from our parents. it's really nice when they can do for us but if they can't we are to take the responsibility or find a job. what your dad or mom did with their money is their business not yours. not matter... sorry don't agree with you at all
Oh God OP is a terrible writer. Saying the same whiny shit over and over again.
To be honest, I don't understand this whole college/university stuff. Parents don't really have to pay for their children to go in my opinion. Sure student loans are a pain to deal with especially having to pay it off when it comes to getting a full-time job but you can also learn to become independent and not rely on your parents to pay for things.
However, I can kind of see where op is coming from, it is unfair to pay for one sibling to go and not them, use the money just for the brother's business, it's pretty stupid. When it comes to college, op should've talked to his parents in the first place as you can't always assume there is a college fund or whatever. The mother may grew a spine but she shouldn't enabled it for too long also the father is a complete AH.
It's foreign to me, that a college age adult thinks he is entitled to a say about where other people chose to invest their money.
Your parents money, is not yours. They can burn it, or donate it to cat charities...It doesn't belong to you.
Really?
It's their son, and they have the money to support them both, especially when knowing that taking a student loan can put them in debt for life.
If the business failed the brother should work on his own, some help sure but not at the cost of OP's future.
And they should have told the truth, even then I doubt OP would forgive the betrayal and lies
But they can’t, morally, ethically, logically, societally, etc not freaking okay to give to one kid you decided to spawn and not the other… you chose to bone, not the kid.
That’s not the issue. The issue is that his parents lied. Refusing is fine. Lying isn’t.
Please don't do this to your kids😢
I agree with you to a certain extent. But having this big lie and then giving monies to the brother is where it is totalling wrong. They should have told the truth from the start without lying. The lying then finding out about the betrayal is where it goes wrong.
I say esh, of course it's unfair to op, however op seems to think he's owed his parent's money. I'm kind of sick of these entitled spoiled brats who are middle to upperclass demanding their parent's money , like it's the worst thing, life destroying unforgiveable thing if their parents don't pay for their college, and their lives are over. When there are kids out there actually are struggling and do anything they can to even be able to go to college, I saw another story where a dad didn't have contact with his son since before he was borrn and the mom went to his family to say her son was "suffering" because they couldn't afford to send him to hid top ivy league, expensive school as though it was the optitamy of "suffering" God forbid *gasp that he go somewhere else mor affordable like state ore even worse, community college, but we all know he will die if he doesn't get into the most expensive university in the country. My point being is that op is blessed to be able to go and not worry, but not expect to be owed a college fund. But also, the dad and brother are the ah's too, him for leaving his wife over his bruised ego which he caused himself by lying. The brother was raised to be greedy, but also op if he doesn't get his way, his brother is the golden child and he is the victim.
That's not really fair is it? Ok surely could have the expectation that they would treat him the same as his brother! Or at least warn him a bit earlier than when he had his college sorted out and was within months of heading off. He had internships, so he wasn't sitting on his hands. He might have been able to sort out better paying work too.
If the brother got the money, up is freakin entitled….
Shit take is a shit take.
Dumm
You repeat the same thing over and over and over and over again get to the point !!!!
OP COMES ACROSS AS AN ABSOLUTE BELLEND
I can see the dad’s logic but he failed to take on board his son’s feelings and lied in the process. Now he has no option but to make his elder’s son’s business work or look even more stupid.
There is no logic to see.