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I would LOVE to be a potluck member, but an old guy on SSDI only has so much cash. IF my own TH-cam channel gets monetized, IAST will be the first on my list of channels to support.
here is a question i have; what is the big deal about being first to something like a movie or a concert or even things like this, i get the "making money" necessity but even when it isn't just money, but things like lining up to buy the first release of a video game or a new i phone or a going to see a movie or concert, people camp out to be the first to watch a concert, they spend ***literal*** days waiting at the box office to be the first person at the door to buy the tickets that they can afford, which is in the twentieth seat row double J, it just doesn't make sense to me.
@@freethebirds3578 I'll have to check you people out! But at first glance, I thought your handle was "Feed the Birds" -- like in that scene from Mary Poppins.
I am a Potluck member , because I wanted to support a very talented theater group. I did community theater wherever I lived for 50 years. The most fun I had in my long life.
The only thing missing was " We really need to get together more not just for weddings and funerals." I think I've have heard this or some version of it at almost every southern funeral I have attended. I think I have even said it at least once.
When Mama died, I discovered that she was the glue that held her side of the family together. About 30 years ago, one of my first cousins on that side decided it was time we first cousins got together after a couple of decades of not gathering as we did when we were youngsters. Found out I had not missed a thing. Nice people, but we had little in common beyond factors of each DNA. We never did that again.
And a commentary on hats. Black Baptist and some of your more rural towns still have ladies wearing hats at the funerals. Not small hats, mind you, but giant sombrero looking things. They can't sit too closely together or their hats will push them off the chairs.
My mother and her best friend Velma dragged me to the funeral of a woman with whom they had worked, who had retired and, shortly after, died. The large funeral home was in a neighboring West Tennessee town. I think I was 16. Mama and Velma walked down the center aisle of the chapel, with me following reluctantly. They stood side by side, looking down at the old lady lying there in her casket. ‘Oh, Velma, she must have been so sick,” Mama whispered. ‘She doesn’t even look like herself.” Velma whispered back, “Alyene, it’s not her. We’re in the wrong chapel.” Mama didn’t miss a beat. She solemnly turned and walked to the front pew. She went down the line of bereaved sitting there, and said, “She will be missed,” to each one. I almost choked to death trying not to guffaw. Mama and Velma found the correct chapel and commented how “good she looks,” which set me off again.
So.. I was imagining my mother in this situation.. (Since I don't know your mother at all..) And yes.. Yes, this is exactly what she would do. At 16, I also would have struggled to not.. Just don't.. Don't even crack a smile.. Oh my.. Thank you for sharing that.. You are a good writer! Clear mental images.. Just enough detail. Thanks again!
My husband spent the bulk of his childhood in Texas, but his parents are both from up north. A couple years ago a family member of mine died, and my husband came to the funeral with me. People were gathered at the funeral home ahead of time and chatting, when someone walked in and let everybody know that "food is all set up downstairs now; we have ham and biscuits, pimento sandwiches, potato salad, and some other things, if anybody wants to grab a bite to eat." My husband was surprised and turned to me, saying, " . . . Did he just say there's food? At a funeral?" I was confused and responded, "Well yeah, why would there not be food?" He said, "At a FUNERAL?" and I was like, "Well yeah baby, this is the South, we bring food to EVERYTHING." Then he got a second surprise when we went downstairs and he saw that this wasn't just a small table with a couple of snacks, but multiple tables from which you could have a decent meal. Then he found out about the family reunion feel and the pictures and the plants being given away and the gathering at a relative's house for hours afterwards. Bless him. 🤣🤣
Is this not how everyone does funerals? I’ve literally never been to a funeral outside of NC so I wouldn’t have a clue, but now I’m curious about how non southerners hold a funeral. Hahaha!!!
Lol. Yeah. I live in the west coast, but my mom's family is from the south and all that rings true. And that food to feed a battalion. Just in case you need a snack. We shared stories and stayed for hours. People dropped in. That's just how it's done. I don't care where you live. It's the best way to go.
I have been to Northern funerals and the first time I went with a friend to their grandfather's funeral from Georgia I was a bit surprised at how much food they had too. Northern funerals do not bring anywhere near the food. And it isn't as important.
"She looks so natural." Meanwhile, the woman, an Apostolic Pentecostal who never wore so much as mascara, has on enough power and blush to cover a whole circus. 😂
This was my great granny when she passed away. Man my grandma and my aunt's all flipped out. The funeral home got their butts chewed out. I think they redid my granny's face three times before everyone was happy.
My grandmother just passed early this year (I missed the funeral because I caught the Rona) but from what everyone says yeah they overdo that kind of stuff. A woman who never wore make-up who was always natural and even left her hair go wild (I inherited that) is now made up like a manikin. And like candace my aunt and my sister chewed them out over it.
My Pentecostal great grandmother never wore makeup and was a shut-in for the last few years of her life, so she was really really pale. So pale, in fact, that the mortician actually did not have a light enough foundation and basically turned her yellow. Between that and the extra-supportive bra they put her in, she looked so damn funny. I even remember my grandmother and my great aunts and uncles all going "She's probably laughing her ass off in Heaven right now." 🤣🤣🤣
Not so much the funeral, but when my wife's grandmother passed, most of the local relatives went right over to her place. I'm sure there was crying at first, but we got there about an hour or so after and I was completely surprised that a bunch of the family was in the bedroom with the body and they were happily talking to each other as if she was just sleeping.
It may seem a strange juxtaposition, but try to regard it it as a celebration of the deceased’s life. The people that cared most about the deceased gather and remember and in that gathering there is a lot of comfort.
FYI, if your ever traveling through Georgia and you see a funeral procession, it’s required by law to pull over on the side road. The cops down here will ticket people for not pulling over.
Perfect portrayal lol! Southern funerals are often treated more like family reunions and an excuse to have a massive potluck with the excellent, endless food everyone brought. We share memories of the deceased and enjoy being together, as funerals should be a celebration of life!
Yep. Those ladies know who to cook and show out with it! I've been to several in Georgia of family members that died....you miss them a lot but it was a comfort of knowing that people cared enough to at least feed the family afterwards and you got to catch yp with family stuff and share stories and pictures and make a day of celebration of one's life and not have to worry about anything else. It's a good time to grieve with others and not just by yourself 😊❤
"did you see grandpa's breakfast buddies showed up" this hit cause at my dad's funeral, same feeling when all his coworkers showed up; both a good and sad feeling
It does have an effect on family when they show the respect to show up. My grandmother who just passed still sounded so proud that her father's entire company showed up to his funeral from the owners of the steel mill to the newest guys. And that was 40 years before.
Yes. Dad's work/Hardee's buddies showed up. They all went/go by nicknames rather than their given names, of course. "I just knew Meathead would show up. He and Big Honey were best friends and he just won't be the same after this."
A friend & I never miss a chance to say that the other had missed a target where we'd found all but one hole from the shots we'd fired that day. One of us is going to get the last "By the way,you missed" in some sad day.
I know exactly what you mean, my grandmother worked at the local jail and it felt like half the police officers in the county came to give their respects.
Heathens that don’t pull over, I was raised that you pulled over even if you were driving in the opposite direction. My parents were both from rural West Virginia and that was proper behavior. I worked for a small town in Texas and if you were driving a city car and didn’t pull over on either direction they would call city hall and complain about how you were not raised proper. One of my coworkers had that conversation with his boss about proper behavior, he came back shaking his head about these traditions. He wasn’t raised right but he did learn. Next time it happened he pull over, got out of the car took off his hat and bowed his head, guess he learned proper.
I was raised that way too in Tennessee....until I moved to S.Fla....NOBODY stopped or got out of the way and the the funeral pass....I was shocked 😲 heathens 😆
On the day of my brother’s funeral (he was a Vietnam vet) as we pulled into the church parking veterans who didn’t know him had formed a line with flags for him to pass under and it was a awesome sight and honor.On the way to church meet a school bus and it also pulled over .In the south we honor those who have died and also their families no one is a stranger
Everybody over 60 knows everyone's names bc their grandmas have told everyone about their awesome grandchildren. When my grandma died at 99, I was touched by some of the people who showed up. A distant, elderly cousin drove from Tennessee to Birmingham through the snow to attend. Another person attended who had been a neighbor for only 5 years 50-60 years prior. My grandma hadn't left her house in years due to health but people still remembered her.
This is also true in Puerto Rican families. Because the matriarch of the family has told everyone about you. So, I have never met these cousins from the island, yet they all know I am Nilsa's oldest, and they know several stories of when I was a little boy my grandma told them before she passed. Even though she passed decades ago they know.
Born and reared in the Deep South. My paternal grandmother had very strong feelings about funerals and what she wanted to happen. She was adamant that she wanted a closed casket funeral. She said she didn’t want anyone to look at her and say “She looks so natural”. She said “No, I will look dead!” We honored her wishes when she passed.
My mother didn't want a funeral. She just wanted us to get together, eat some food and talk of the good times. So we had her cremated and had a little get together with everyone at home with some food and shared memories, photos and what have you. It was good.
My grandmother passed away at the age of 86 years old. She is buried in a very small town in North Carolina. Most of the woman passing by the casket commented on how lovely her complexion was. My grandmother had lovely skin and it was because of Oil of Olay. That is what she used for years and she was lovely on the day of her funeral. Miss you grandma.
My mom used Oil of Olay. She called it “Oil of Old Lady”. I inherited 3/4 of a bottle, which I’m still using because I can’t bring myself to throw it away.
My South African husband, who managed a funeral home in SA, can't stop laughing at how accurate this is. In the 20 years he's been here, I have taken him to so many family funerals. By the end of the video, he was naming the funerals where something just like the skit happened. "Didn't your aunt's ex-husband wear overalls at her funeral?" "Oh, that's you, honey. You never want to talk to anyone at a funeral." "Exactly how many of the not quite dead house plants in the kitchen window came from funerals? I think three, at least."
What is really funny is that I heard this at a wedding in Oklahoma where most of us didn't know each other, but it was still said in all seriousness! Lol
The overall comment, just reminded me of what my sister told me just last week. She and her friend are going through and cleaning up our parents house, they have a hoarding issue. She found a box in the garage from our great uncle's house, he died in 1981, it was taken to the dump, and apparently smelled so bad that they had to febreeze the truck, 3 times
Weirdness abounds at southern funerals. My brother in law is Jewish from Pennsylvania and went to his first southern funeral when my mother died. She was a Kentuckian and lived in and died in her home town. The place was packed with friends and family. One of her relatives was taking a picture of her in the casket. My bil was stunned. Also people would look down on her and say the same weird things we’ve already heard. As well as “ well her family never did live much past 70” thank you! Another relative was passing out her own prescription tranquilizers to any one who’s nerves were “tore all to pieces”. What a eye opener it was for him
I grew up in small-town Texas and can attest to all the food you’re brought, cars pulling over for a funeral procession, and older people you can’t recall who still know you.
Growing up, I had no idea people pulled over for a funeral. My parents grew up in northern Indiana, we lived in Maryland, and I never noticed people pulling over for a funeral. But one day, my best friend's mom (from Alabama) was driving us somewhere and pulled over for no reason (or so I thought.) When I asked, she was outraged that I didn't know this. I live in IN now, but as an honorary Southerner, I always pull over for funerals and watch other drivers going the same direction as me whip around me as fast as they can.
I've heard people say that it's very rude to laugh and joke with family and friends at a funeral but in the south we aren't really mourning the loss of someone close to us, we're celebrating the life they had before the Lord said their time here on this earth was up.
Bible teaches to celebrate the life your loved ones have lived, It was hard not being able to travel to my brothers funeral who died from cancer during lock down. I live in SC, my brother lived in Bath, New York.
We did laugh a little at my uncle funeral(with his children) and no, we were now happy about his death. somehow there's joy in the atmosphere. My Uncle gave His life to the Lord not long before he drew his last breath. By the way, the funeral was held in Buddhism way. Because most of his relative demands it. My auntie said "His soul is with the Lord now, let they do whatever they want with the body".
It's not throughout the south that they bury the casket while folks are there. My home state is MS and last year, my brother was buried after a military escort (WWII vet), then with taps and two sailors folding and presented the flag etc. It was lengthier than usual because a grandson also played the cello. Grandgirls had sung at the service and no one knows how they made it through so beautifully, including them. But all went to that family's church gym to eat while the grave was filled in and then those who wanted to, returned later that same day to the prepared graveside, where my brother's wife was in the grave next to his, of course, having preceded him. Sorry for the length! Us southerners like to tell a story!
I was raised in NORTH Mississippi and we stayed at the cemetery till the grave was filled and in “those days” the pallbearers helped to fill in the grave. I moved to CENTRAL Mississippi and was surprised that people left the cemetery with the casket above ground; I’m sure the pallbearers were glad they didn’t have to fill in the grave.
My large extended family always has food at the funeral home. Once I was a row over in the grocery store when I heard one lady ask another if they were going to my uncles funeral. The lady replied…”Of course, those Roses are the best cooks.” Made me smile on a sad day. Better than any condolence could have.
No idea if they were independent or company haulers, but I'd like to thank the convoy of big rigs that ran blocker on the backend of a funeral procession line for about 8 miles going down the highway.
Plants and "Go Rest High on That Mountain" is so accurate, not just in the South. Mom and Dad passed within a month of each other and I couldn't give away the last 6 plants. And I still have to nurse them along. Those poor plants.
My father-in-law died in 1996. My parents sent a nice plant. My sisters-in-law insisted we take it home on the plane with us. We've moved across country twice since then and Dad's plant is still with us.
When my stepmother's mother died, one of her last wishes was to be buried in a town about 40 miles from where I live. My stepmother thought the cost of transport was outrageous, so she talked her brother into bringing the casket down in his rig. All 8 hours, it slid back..and forth..back and forth. They stayed with us after the funeral. I'd barely recovered from envisioning this woman's last ride on this planet when my stepmother, telling about the funeral, blurted out, "oh Charlotte. You should've seen her. She never looked better!". I lost it.
lol! My own mother, at one time, wanted to be buried on top of a mountain on her property. And, the only access to it was a 40 year old, bull dozer trail that was on a 60 degree angle. My brother was all for it and I had to be the party pooper and ask HOW we were going to get mamma's body there. His answer? A backhoe. Fortunately, his wife and I were able to make both of them visual a backhoe crawling up that steep of an incline with a casket chained to the bucket and the thing swinging back and forth like a ragtime metronome!
Your stepmother and her brother's behavior was extremely dishonorable. To treat their own mother in such a fashion! We're required to honor our parents, or did they forget the comnandment?
@@pennybean6851 lolol! This is priceless. I am sure your mother more than appreciated every effort you made to fulfill her wishes. And she would see the humor in it.
The first funeral that my twin brother attended was for a great uncle our maternal grandmother's brother. Visitation was at the old man's home, way out in the country of Yazoo County, Mississippi. Open dogtrot house, casket set on saw horses in the parlor, first door on the right. There was great uncle Oscar laid out in his best bibb overalls, red check shirt and a pouch of Red Man chewing tobacco stuffed in the front pocket of his bibbs. Now my brother and I had never seen a dead person before and had never seen any of my our grandmother's siblings aside from her sister Aunt Chet. Aunt Chet noticed our unusual attention to the occupant of the coffin and suggested that we go get something to eat from the kitchen. Her directions to said kitchen were as follows" Now boys why don't you go get you something to eat in the kitchen. Go down the end of the trot to the porch and turn left you will see the kitchen out back." The kitchen was a separate building all its own. In those days kitchens caught fire often and to avoid a house fire they were built separate from the house. Did I say that this was an OLD HOUSE? Yep there it was with a cement walk up to the screen door. NO AC in this place! My brother and I could see a man sitting at the table with his back to the door. We opened the door and that door spring gave a good creak. The man at the table turned around and the sight of him nearly scared my twin brother to death. The man was Oscar's twin brother Arthur. The church service was next where I thought that Oscar's widow would climb into the coffin with him. Very emotional scene. The burial took place in the church yard.
At the funerals I've attended in the northeast (NJ/PA, specifically), the casket is buried after the family leaves. They said it's a matter of respect, that the family shouldn't have to be involved in "the dirty work."
That long winded preacher part got me. My godmother passed away a few years ago, and the preacher at her funeral was just dragging on. Telling other people that they had like two minutes to say something, but he was taking forever. I was sitting next to some of the elders and it was mostly them complaining. Felt like by the time he was done we would’ve had another funeral. Sometimes I think in situations like this they should play music like they do at award shows when the actors are giving a speech that’s going too long and the music is a subtle way to tell them to wrap it up.
As a preacher, I can also tell you about a few funerals where several people were schedule to "give tributes" or "share memories," but that turned into practically full blown sermons. (While I sit there thinking, "Hey, leave SOMETHING for me to say, will ya?!?")
Glad you got the church feeding half the town think. Recently attended a funeral and after service buffet feed in a town of 92 and over 150 people showed up for the feed. Maybe 30? showed up for the graveside service, but let me tell you when the Baptist AND Church of Christ put on a after service feed, they make Golden Corral look like pikers.
I wasn't sure if I could watch this one because my dad passed away recently and I am planning his memorial service for this weekend, but honestly I loved this! So true even for us here in rural Ohio. My family wanted to stay at the graveside until my grandma was buried last July but they refused to lower her in until we left. My dad's memorial (or celebration of life) is being followed by a meal provided by our church and a time for everyone to share their memories of my dad. We have relatives coming from out of state who I haven't seen since my other grandparents died over 12 years ago. It's going to be a big party, followed by a smaller family party afterwards!
Sorry for the loss of your Dad, but I am glad this video made you smile. I lost my father too and I know that all they want is for their children to be happy.
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad last December and it's still too soon for me to say I'm over the grief. Sending hugs and healing prayers your way.
This hits a southern funeral on the head wide open! The food thing is usually because southerners like to take care of the families during this time of grief and food is a way to do that. This happens most whenever you are a part of a church. The “church family” takes care of each other.
Nope not true! My parents were not going to church when, my dad had passed, it was my mom’s co-workers and, a few of my dad’s had food delivered to our home as well as some of my mom’s family members. Also going to church has nothing to do with there being a meal after a funeral. Because, one not all funerals are at churches, a lot are at funeral homes and, there’s usually not a meal usually served at a funeral home, sometimes it’s usually where that person lived or somewhere private where, the family goes to that place pretty regular but, it’s in the town in which the family live.
Growing up, from ages 5-14 or so, "Summer Vacation" was going home to West Virginia for a funeral. Literally every year! I was at least 10 before I realized this wasn't just how vacations worked!
So much truth in this video. There were overalls worn at my dads funeral, we had food for weeks, and I had family members that knew my name and I didn’t have a clue who they were. The cherry on top was my dads casket was carried to the family cemetery on his tractor so my dad got to take one last ride on his tractor before he was buried.
In school everyone was shocked when I said I had been to over 10 funerals as a teenager when most kids had been to one maybe. But we have a big family! The drama, the food, the stories, the laughs, tears, and Jesus never skip a southern funeral.
One thing they left out is the one person you never saw dressed up who was always dressed up for the occasion. My Dad only owned one suit... for weddings and funerals. So everyone knew what to expect. LOL
OMG. When he said she suffered a long time, she was a Saints fan, I almost died. I’m from New Orleans and been suffering for 56 yrs now. Even wore a bag over my head for a while. Lmao. Hopefully this season will be better.
When I grew up in Southern CA in my Mexican American family we went to funerals for every relative. They were all day affairs ended with piles of food and drink. And we did say, "Gee, we only seem to see each other at weddings and funerals."
For many years the running joking in our family was that my Grandmother, who was well known to take "her own sweet time" in all things would most certainly "be late to her own funeral". Fast forward 20 years, she passed away and due to the cemetery being a 6 hour drive from her place of passing......the hearse driver got lost on the way. She was 4 hours late to her own funeral.
In 2019, my maternal grandfather (81) and my step-grandma (80) died when a truck ran over their car with them inside it. My Mom's ENTIRE family showed up (including all of the great aunts and uncles I forgot the names of but swear I hugged at some point), and so did nearly everyone in their rural Texas town. About half of the things in this video happened at their funeral!
Half of my hometown IS related to me (unless they're less than 3rd generation in the area.) And I grew up in Florida, so they're more likely to know me than I am to know them....
BINGO! Y'all hit it perfectly! FYI: I've heard that some funeral homes in the south bring another fridge to your house during your bereavement. They just put it on the front porch with the other indoor furniture.
It’s actually true, at least where I’m from in NC, but it’s not free. They charge a rental fee! Nothing is free from the funeral home! I’ve buried my mom and dad and both of my brothers. I’m only 48 but the local funeral home knows me by name. Lol.
100% true. When my friend's grandfather who raised him died, they were going to bring him a fridge to help store the extra food. A cousin, my friend, and I carried an old fridge they had stored into the house to store it. And this was Georgia.
I remember my paternal grandmother's funeral, back in 2002. My grandmother's neighbor asked me why I wasn't married yet while standing in front of the open casket. I told her it wasn't quite on my list of priorities right at that moment. Plus, I think the preacher spent three whole sentences on her and the rest of the time about **SIN!!** (if I could underline that, I would) to a captive audience. I never met the man beforehand, yet he would look me straight in the face when he got to a particularly hellfirey bit and I stared daggers back at him. Fun times. lol
Lol when my last Grandparent passed in 2019, it was mostly like this, family reunion and the first thing was eat at Cracker Barrel and laughter. We were also happy the temp was supposed to be 70s for the day of Grandma's funeral in August, we were so happy to not melt at the gravesite and could go to the after meal at the funeral home not as soaked sweaty messes. There's also something about a Southern funeral that leaves people unfiltered because there was a fly that kept landing on Grandma and the casket and a Uncle whispers DURING Amazing Grace that someone should go up and whack it.....I was breaking down but then couldn't stop laughing.
@@southerncharmed4118 White people do the same, After funeral my family has traditional bonfire where we sit around fire and talk far hours, telling funny stories of when we where growing up. It was 11 children, now only 4 left. We where raised up on a farm in south GA. had a creek in the back yard/ We had our farm chores to do, but we also had happy memories of playing and swimming in that creek and woods. Also went to church every wedsday night and Twice on Sunday. Funerals now it is quiet a large gathering.
During a family funeral, my son was asked to be a pallbearer. To honor the deceased's love of baseball hats, all the pallbearers were given a baseball hat to wear. The pallbearers wore the hats before the service but removed them in the church. My son has corkscrew-curly hair. When our family entered the church, one of my daughters wiped her eyes and leaned over to whisper, "Look at Joshua's hair!" My son's hair was plastered bowl-like to his head and then flaired out like a ballerina's tutu.
I'm from the north (from Alberta, aka Canada's Texas) and I've only been to one funeral and pretty much had the same experience just without the drama. My Uncle Malvin died from cancer, he was an awesome uncle quiet but fun to be around, he helped run the family farm for years and cared for ever last cow on the ranch. At his funeral there were so many family and neighbors there, it was sad to see him go but felt nice to know he was loved by so many.
My grandmother got dressed and went to the funeral of a man she knew for years. At least she thought it was for him until she saw him as an usher at the door. Talk about us dying laughing when she came home and told us the deceased escorted her to a pew. Lol!
I was a nurse in a nursing home for years. The place where I worked had an in house chaplain that went to every visitation. When she came back she was always asked "How'd they look?". She got so tired if it the last time someone asked her she said " they looked dead , that's how they looked...DEAD!!!"
The answer my daughter gave at my brother’s funeral and I thought I would wet my pants from laughing because it’s true not sleeping don’t look natural just dead
OMG! I have been to enough Southern funerals to fill a football stadium and y'all have hit every nail on the head! Don't forget about the backstabbing of those relatives that don't show up!
Oh lawd that hit home. I had at least a dozen great aunts/uncles as a young’n. Plus the old folks knowing me but I didn’t know them and my mom saying things like “oh you remember Miss Bea. She was the organist at church for the children’s choir when you were in nursery school”. Also having to explain why I pulled over for an approaching funeral procession and took off my hat to my friends across the river in a more northern state. 😁
I moved to NJ from the south. First month in NJ, I was approached by a funeral procession during late rush hour. NO ONE my direction stopped (they did pull over in the same direction to let them pass). When I got to work I asked a native about local customs then proceeded to have a “who’s on first?” conversation about why I wanted to know why no one in oncoming traffic pulled over. “Why would they pull over-they’re not in the way!” “To show respect “ “oh you knew them?” “No” “then why…”
Oh my Lord never have I thought I'd be laughing about this and I'm sorry I can't help it but I chose that song and played it at my son's funeral, I guess this is funny because I'm a southerner and have often heard that Vince's voice is like an angels. So I hope no one is offended but I think it's a part of how we deal with death in the south is thru humor...but I literally hysterically laughed and said, ain't denyin I'm from the south after that one, I tell ya what?😅
Everybody does it. I'm not in the south. But my family is from Tennessee. The last several decades we've been treating funerals more like celebrations. They are parties. We do laugh. Tell stories. Last several years it's been more like bon voyage instead of goodbye. don't think that's a bad thing.
Oh my word, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine having to bury one of my children. And I actually almost teared up just hearing mention of Go Rest High on that Mountain.
@@asdisskagen6487 I appreciate your kind words and it's truly not something I'd wish on my worst enemy. He may not be on this crazy planet anymore but he will always be with my heart and looking out for me and letting me know I'm doing ok and that every thing I do is for Something. ♡♡♡
Thank you for your assistance. My husband was a Veteran's Cemetery Director until his retirement. He never had a bad thing to say about the Honor Guards.
If y'all didn't get everything exactly right!!! Lol!! All of our funerals are family reunions. Usually with me asking my mom "who was that??" . And its not a funeral without an argument or fight somewhere. When my dad died, I was the drama. We had some obscure preacher who had never met my dad preach his funeral. This was the day he decided to practice his Sunday sermon and the proceeded to preach my daddy I to hell. He got his ass whooped when he came to comfort us.
This happenes over and over again preachers need to learn it's not a chance for them to give a sermon, which usually says the person who has past is going to hell and you are too if you don't repent NOW..... They are supposed to be there to comfort the family not not to yell at them that their loved one is dammed. No one and I mean no one needs a intellecture at a time like this
I actually had second thoughts about watching this one, but, oh my lord, y'all made me choke on my breakfast! That's some funny stuff. (And, for all a y'all saying you do the same things elsewhere, just accept this as proof of our influence on wherever y'all'r at.)
having lost my Grandmother recently and attending her funeral in Bayou La Batre AL y'all nailed this ! Especially the part about seeing family from a distance LOL
One of the comments I almost always hear…”Don’t she/he look ‘nachrul’?” Ryan came close when he commented the deceased looked ‘peaceful’, but I grew up hearing natural.😆
A lot of people do a celebration of life now around where I live. It still leaves room for grief and I've seen it, it just concentrates on what there is to celebrate about the person instead of dwelling on their absence. Music, food, and the comradery of existing family really help lighten the load for a lot of people. Probably best for those who've had the opportunity to lead a full life though.
I'm from a large Southern family so I have been to a lot of funerals. I was waiting for the humor but all I heard throughout the video was quotes from my lived experience. 🙄 So true, y'all, indeed.
My oldest sister had a set "funeral meal" she would bring as a first meal for the family. One day I went to her house and she was preparing that meal. Of course, I had to ask "who died? She said no one, but your Aunt Edna is not doing so well.
My grandmother and her sister had the ‘funeral meal’ recon! Before the body was cold they would be at the house with fried chicken and fresh homemade brownies. Wow, I’m hungry
This couldn't have come at a better time! My Grandma passed away this morning but she hadn't been herself for a long time now as she had alzhimers. I'm envisioning all of this in the upcoming days!
Sorry for your loss. I've lost a grandma to Alzheimer's as well. Awful way to go. I'm glad she's not suffering and able to be herself again. I hope the funeral goes smoothly.
When a gentleman we knew died, we were invited to his funeral and interrement ceremony, the cemetery had a specially designed forklift machine that picked up the casket from this table it was on and lowered it to the bottom of the previously dug hole. Then we threw roses over the coffin and the widow, children and grandchildren were given bags of dirt to throw over the coffin. Then everybody sat down, the preacher made a final speech and while he was doing that, the crew quickly filled the hole.
The family drama for sure. At my mom's funeral last year my uncle came up to me after the service and said "I'm going to need you girls (my sister and I) to arrange to keep paying property taxes on the family farm for the siblings since your mom did that for us out of the estate money." There hadn't been estate money in a decade. And "We each want one of her quilts." Like dang, she's not even packed away in the mausoleum yet, give it a week or two!
I felt this. When my great grandma passed, one of my aunts-in-law asked how 'we were going to split the house' while in the limo on the way to the gravesite. Almost caused a crash because of the fight that comment sparked.
My husband’s family all lives up north. Funeral “etiquette” is DEPLORABLE! When my mother-in-law passed away, we received two cakes from my sister-in-law’s best friend and the wife of her husband’s best friend! I thought HOLY COW! How was the rest handled?? It is VERY common for THE FAMILY to foot the ENTIRE BILL to feed all attendants at a RESTAURANT! When my husband’s brother passed in 2018, my sister-in-law doled out over $2500 to feed the hoard! WHAT! THE! HECK!! 😳
This is spot on, all of it. And I had to be the one who had to sing Go Rest High On that Mountain, 😂 “Laughter through tears is one of my favorite emotion”
The smaller the population, the more important it is to pull over and stop till ALL the cars have passed. Trying to look respectful and sad for the passing procession while a county deputy bawls out the northerner he forced over in front of you is painful.
My Poppaw’s funeral was three weeks ago and i completely felt this. Unfortunately, so many of his generation have gone on, so there wasn’t as many people as there used to be, but growing up, funerals were literally just like family reunions. Also, we called them home goings instead of funerals.
I feel like I just relived every family reunion on my step-father's side. Someone was always about to die, recently dead, or had been dead since before Reagan was in office but they were talking about them like they died last Tuesday. Can I grab a drink with Matt?
This is 100% accurate. Especially the "we need to get together" part. In fact, we had a family reunion last week and someone said, "It's good to get together when it's not at a funeral."
Don’t forget the It looks nothing like her with all that makeup on. Or when they put a flower in their loved ones hand, Look she’s been picking flowers in heaven! Go Rest High on that Mountain gets me every time!!
I don't know if this is just a southern African American thing. But most funerals, the recessional song is Going Up Yonder. They have worn it OUT. Then let's go to the repass. Everyone wants to know who cooked the collard greens. Most likely the chicken came from Publix. We are judging and talking about everything. Even the store bought cakes.
No it's not.We all and I mean all Black,White Asian,Hispanic have their recessional songs that they wear out.And the food is critiqued like they were competing on Iron Chef or Chopped.Heaven forbid you bring a dessert in a Publix's box and not on a nice plate they will talk about you until the next funeral.
The food gossip/drama for sure. "Arlene made the chicken and dumplings. She thinks everyone loves them, but they're not nearly as good as Helen's. We tell her we love them so we don't hurt her feelings." And everyone says "I wish Hardee's still had fried chicken. Boy, that was the best chicken you could get. Remember when we had it that time at ... when Uncle Ray did ... and Aunt Joyce got so mad!" 😂
My parents’ families are large (8 kids and 9 kids) and far-flung, so funerals and maybe weddings are really the only time we’d see everyone. These occasions always ended up taking on a family-reunion feel, with “sibling revelry” continuing into the night (mostly gabbing and endless games of Canasta). I think this is where my sort of liking funerals comes from. To me, they evoke lots of happy memories of getting together with family.
We southerners love our food and fellowship, we can spend hours sitting around talking about good times. This is every funeral I have ever been too. If people didn't bring food you had it catered or went to a restaurant and ate.
I love the painting of the Doyle kick in Alabama vs Tennessee game hanging on the wall in the back. That is just perfect. I already decided I do not want a wake and a funeral. Just bury me and get on to the good stuff. I want everyone sitting around eating and drinking and telling all the stories of "Remember that time when Angela ..... Wow that was some kind of fun!"
That's the one thing I have told people: do not give me a fancy funeral. What good is it for me? Light me up like a dried out christmas tree, and use the money for a massive party. I'm talking catering, DJ, open bar; send my memory out with a bang.
2:53 I lost it at this. 😂 I swear every time I've gone to a family funeral, it's been like this. I would never have heard these people's names or seen their faces, never gotten a phone call, visit, letter, NOTHING. And then they act all shocked, hurt and offended because I don't recognize them. You could be a lying stranger who just wandered in here for free food and I literally would not know the difference, "Great Aunt Carmen". Maybe next time you want someone to actually know who you are, actually be in CONTACT and MEET them first.
Our fan club members got to watch this video days before everyone else! Learn how you can get early access to our videos, discounts on merch, decide Bless Your Rank topics, and more here: www.southernthing.com/st/potluck
I would LOVE to be a potluck member, but an old guy on SSDI only has so much cash. IF my own TH-cam channel gets monetized, IAST will be the first on my list of channels to support.
I'd love to see the credits for the music in this video. It's just our style.
here is a question i have;
what is the big deal about being first to something like a movie or a concert or even things like this, i get the "making money" necessity but even when it isn't just money, but things like lining up to buy the first release of a video game or a new i phone or a going to see a movie or concert, people camp out to be the first to watch a concert, they spend ***literal*** days waiting at the box office to be the first person at the door to buy the tickets that they can afford, which is in the twentieth seat row double J, it just doesn't make sense to me.
@@freethebirds3578 I'll have to check you people out!
But at first glance, I thought your handle was "Feed the Birds" -- like in that scene from Mary Poppins.
I am a Potluck member , because I wanted to support a very talented theater group. I did community theater wherever I lived for 50 years. The most fun I had in my long life.
The only thing missing was " We really need to get together more not just for weddings and funerals." I think I've have heard this or some version of it at almost every southern funeral I have attended. I think I have even said it at least once.
Definitely hear that at every funeral! 😂
Fax
When Mama died, I discovered that she was the glue that held her side of the family together. About 30 years ago, one of my first cousins on that side decided it was time we first cousins got together after a couple of decades of not gathering as we did when we were youngsters. Found out I had not missed a thing. Nice people, but we had little in common beyond factors of each DNA. We never did that again.
I remember one funeral where my aunt, the oldest of four sisters, looked at my mom and said, "Well, we're next!"
And a commentary on hats. Black Baptist and some of your more rural towns still have ladies wearing hats at the funerals. Not small hats, mind you, but giant sombrero looking things. They can't sit too closely together or their hats will push them off the chairs.
My mother and her best friend Velma dragged me to the funeral of a woman with whom they had worked, who had retired and, shortly after, died. The large funeral home was in a neighboring West Tennessee town. I think I was 16. Mama and Velma walked down the center aisle of the chapel, with me following reluctantly. They stood side by side, looking down at the old lady lying there in her casket. ‘Oh, Velma, she must have been so sick,” Mama whispered. ‘She doesn’t even look like herself.” Velma whispered back, “Alyene, it’s not her. We’re in the wrong chapel.” Mama didn’t miss a beat. She solemnly turned and walked to the front pew. She went down the line of bereaved sitting there, and said, “She will be missed,” to each one. I almost choked to death trying not to guffaw. Mama and Velma found the correct chapel and commented how “good she looks,” which set me off again.
🤣😂🤣😂
Velma didn't bring Shaggy and Scooby along?
Had me reading this shit like it was a book! 💀 you’d be a good writer fr
so when’s chapter 2 coming out?
OMG.. I love it!! I needed that belly laugh
So..
I was imagining my mother in this situation.. (Since I don't know your mother at all..)
And yes.. Yes, this is exactly what she would do.
At 16, I also would have struggled to not..
Just don't.. Don't even crack a smile..
Oh my..
Thank you for sharing that..
You are a good writer!
Clear mental images..
Just enough detail.
Thanks again!
One of my favorite funeral stories. A pastor was speaking over the remains of a church member and said "What you see is a shell. The nut has gone."
😂😂😂
I want someone to say that at my funeral!
Half the congregants must have choked back their laughter
Lot of nuts still here!!!!!!!😂😂😂😂😂
He did not! But dang that is funny.
My husband spent the bulk of his childhood in Texas, but his parents are both from up north. A couple years ago a family member of mine died, and my husband came to the funeral with me. People were gathered at the funeral home ahead of time and chatting, when someone walked in and let everybody know that "food is all set up downstairs now; we have ham and biscuits, pimento sandwiches, potato salad, and some other things, if anybody wants to grab a bite to eat."
My husband was surprised and turned to me, saying, " . . . Did he just say there's food? At a funeral?" I was confused and responded, "Well yeah, why would there not be food?" He said, "At a FUNERAL?" and I was like, "Well yeah baby, this is the South, we bring food to EVERYTHING."
Then he got a second surprise when we went downstairs and he saw that this wasn't just a small table with a couple of snacks, but multiple tables from which you could have a decent meal. Then he found out about the family reunion feel and the pictures and the plants being given away and the gathering at a relative's house for hours afterwards. Bless him. 🤣🤣
Yes, Honey, he will get trained-lol!
Is this not how everyone does funerals? I’ve literally never been to a funeral outside of NC so I wouldn’t have a clue, but now I’m curious about how non southerners hold a funeral. Hahaha!!!
Lol. Yeah. I live in the west coast, but my mom's family is from the south and all that rings true. And that food to feed a battalion. Just in case you need a snack. We shared stories and stayed for hours. People dropped in. That's just how it's done. I don't care where you live. It's the best way to go.
I have been to Northern funerals and the first time I went with a friend to their grandfather's funeral from Georgia I was a bit surprised at how much food they had too. Northern funerals do not bring anywhere near the food. And it isn't as important.
It's just as surprising to Northerners about how we Southerners do weddings, particularly With the inclusion of The Groom's Cake
"She looks so natural." Meanwhile, the woman, an Apostolic Pentecostal who never wore so much as mascara, has on enough power and blush to cover a whole circus. 😂
This was my great granny when she passed away. Man my grandma and my aunt's all flipped out. The funeral home got their butts chewed out. I think they redid my granny's face three times before everyone was happy.
My grandmother just passed early this year (I missed the funeral because I caught the Rona) but from what everyone says yeah they overdo that kind of stuff. A woman who never wore make-up who was always natural and even left her hair go wild (I inherited that) is now made up like a manikin.
And like candace my aunt and my sister chewed them out over it.
My Pentecostal great grandmother never wore makeup and was a shut-in for the last few years of her life, so she was really really pale. So pale, in fact, that the mortician actually did not have a light enough foundation and basically turned her yellow. Between that and the extra-supportive bra they put her in, she looked so damn funny. I even remember my grandmother and my great aunts and uncles all going "She's probably laughing her ass off in Heaven right now." 🤣🤣🤣
🤣
🤣🤣🤣
I haven’t been to too many funerals but everyone acted like it was a family reunion and was laughing and taking pictures.
Hahaha that's the way it should be!
The best ones! That was how my dad's passing was. A week of reunion and remembrance 🌹
Sounds about right 😉
Not so much the funeral, but when my wife's grandmother passed, most of the local relatives went right over to her place. I'm sure there was crying at first, but we got there about an hour or so after and I was completely surprised that a bunch of the family was in the bedroom with the body and they were happily talking to each other as if she was just sleeping.
It may seem a strange juxtaposition, but try to regard it it as a celebration of the deceased’s life. The people that cared most about the deceased gather and remember and in that gathering there is a lot of comfort.
FYI, if your ever traveling through Georgia and you see a funeral procession, it’s required by law to pull over on the side road. The cops down here will ticket people for not pulling over.
And a lecture on showing respect for the deceased's family.
Total respect
As it should be, right?
You know that you're in big trouble when you hear, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia' followed by 'Dueling Banjos' from the radio in the cruiser! 😁
Good
Perfect portrayal lol! Southern funerals are often treated more like family reunions and an excuse to have a massive potluck with the excellent, endless food everyone brought. We share memories of the deceased and enjoy being together, as funerals should be a celebration of life!
Totally agree!!
Ain't that the truth. Only time I saw majority of my relatives growing up was at funerals.
more chicken and tater salad than you can shake a stick at.
@@Noledad77 And casseroles!! Dear god, the casseroles.
Yep. Those ladies know who to cook and show out with it! I've been to several in Georgia of family members that died....you miss them a lot but it was a comfort of knowing that people cared enough to at least feed the family afterwards and you got to catch yp with family stuff and share stories and pictures and make a day of celebration of one's life and not have to worry about anything else. It's a good time to grieve with others and not just by yourself 😊❤
"did you see grandpa's breakfast buddies showed up" this hit cause at my dad's funeral, same feeling when all his coworkers showed up; both a good and sad feeling
It does have an effect on family when they show the respect to show up. My grandmother who just passed still sounded so proud that her father's entire company showed up to his funeral from the owners of the steel mill to the newest guys. And that was 40 years before.
Yes. Dad's work/Hardee's buddies showed up. They all went/go by nicknames rather than their given names, of course. "I just knew Meathead would show up. He and Big Honey were best friends and he just won't be the same after this."
A friend & I never miss a chance to say that the other had missed a target where we'd found all but one hole from the shots we'd fired that day.
One of us is going to get the last "By the way,you missed" in some sad day.
I know exactly what you mean, my grandmother worked at the local jail and it felt like half the police officers in the county came to give their respects.
Heathens that don’t pull over, I was raised that you pulled over even if you were driving in the opposite direction. My parents were both from rural West Virginia and that was proper behavior. I worked for a small town in Texas and if you were driving a city car and didn’t pull over on either direction they would call city hall and complain about how you were not raised proper. One of my coworkers had that conversation with his boss about proper behavior, he came back shaking his head about these traditions. He wasn’t raised right but he did learn. Next time it happened he pull over, got out of the car took off his hat and bowed his head, guess he learned proper.
I was raised that way too in Tennessee....until I moved to S.Fla....NOBODY stopped or got out of the way and the the funeral pass....I was shocked 😲 heathens 😆
On the day of my brother’s funeral (he was a Vietnam vet) as we pulled into the church parking veterans who didn’t know him had formed a line with flags for him to pass under and it was a awesome sight and honor.On the way to church meet a school bus and it also pulled over .In the south we honor those who have died and also their families no one is a stranger
I was raised in Georgia and moved to Washington. Blew my mind people didn’t pull over for funerals.
Hey! I'm about as heathen as heathen gets, and I still pull over for a funeral procession.
@@nathankeesler428 you sir are a good man it’s all about Respect you may never know these people but that gesture means so much on a day like this🤙🏽
Everybody over 60 knows everyone's names bc their grandmas have told everyone about their awesome grandchildren.
When my grandma died at 99, I was touched by some of the people who showed up. A distant, elderly cousin drove from Tennessee to Birmingham through the snow to attend. Another person attended who had been a neighbor for only 5 years 50-60 years prior. My grandma hadn't left her house in years due to health but people still remembered her.
This is also true in Puerto Rican families. Because the matriarch of the family has told everyone about you. So, I have never met these cousins from the island, yet they all know I am Nilsa's oldest, and they know several stories of when I was a little boy my grandma told them before she passed. Even though she passed decades ago they know.
That's the good old days when families were / meant more than just us four or maybe the aunts and uncles cousins and grandparents.
Now, THAT'S a legacy. Rest in peace, Grandma.
Born and reared in the Deep South. My paternal grandmother had very strong feelings about funerals and what she wanted to happen. She was adamant that she wanted a closed casket funeral. She said she didn’t want anyone to look at her and say “She looks so natural”. She said “No, I will look dead!” We honored her wishes when she passed.
As well as you should have 😊
My mother didn't want a funeral. She just wanted us to get together, eat some food and talk of the good times. So we had her cremated and had a little get together with everyone at home with some food and shared memories, photos and what have you. It was good.
My grandmother passed away at the age of 86 years old. She is buried in a very small town in North Carolina. Most of the woman passing by the casket commented on how lovely her complexion was. My grandmother had lovely skin and it was because of Oil of Olay. That is what she used for years and she was lovely on the day of her funeral. Miss you grandma.
My mom used Oil of Olay all her life, too. Magic stuff. Nice story.
Nannie loved Oil of Olay. She lived to be 100yrs and 38 days old. In her own house in her own bed.
Stick with what works. Oil of olay. Nivea. Ponds...
My mom used Oil of Olay. She called it “Oil of Old Lady”. I inherited 3/4 of a bottle, which I’m still using because I can’t bring myself to throw it away.
I started using it at age 16 because of my grandmother. I am now 51, and somebody told me the other day that I looked 32!
My South African husband, who managed a funeral home in SA, can't stop laughing at how accurate this is. In the 20 years he's been here, I have taken him to so many family funerals. By the end of the video, he was naming the funerals where something just like the skit happened. "Didn't your aunt's ex-husband wear overalls at her funeral?" "Oh, that's you, honey. You never want to talk to anyone at a funeral." "Exactly how many of the not quite dead house plants in the kitchen window came from funerals? I think three, at least."
Lol!
What is really funny is that I heard this at a wedding in Oklahoma where most of us didn't know each other, but it was still said in all seriousness! Lol
The overall comment, just reminded me of what my sister told me just last week. She and her friend are going through and cleaning up our parents house, they have a hoarding issue. She found a box in the garage from our great uncle's house, he died in 1981, it was taken to the dump, and apparently smelled so bad that they had to febreeze the truck, 3 times
Weirdness abounds at southern funerals. My brother in law is Jewish from Pennsylvania and went to his first southern funeral when my mother died. She was a Kentuckian and lived in and died in her home town. The place was packed with friends and family. One of her relatives was taking a picture of her in the casket. My bil was stunned. Also people would look down on her and say the same weird things we’ve already heard. As well as “ well her family never did live much past 70” thank you! Another relative was passing out her own prescription tranquilizers to any one who’s nerves were “tore all to pieces”. What a eye opener it was for him
Someone else from South Africa!! I'm not alone on this channel lol even if your husband lives elsewhere now
I grew up in small-town Texas and can attest to all the food you’re brought, cars pulling over for a funeral procession, and older people you can’t recall who still know you.
Growing up, I had no idea people pulled over for a funeral. My parents grew up in northern Indiana, we lived in Maryland, and I never noticed people pulling over for a funeral. But one day, my best friend's mom (from Alabama) was driving us somewhere and pulled over for no reason (or so I thought.) When I asked, she was outraged that I didn't know this. I live in IN now, but as an honorary Southerner, I always pull over for funerals and watch other drivers going the same direction as me whip around me as fast as they can.
@@freethebirds3578 Well bless you. You've earned your Southern Card.
@@stevenwilson879 Amen!!!;
@@freethebirds3578 I always bow my head and say a prayer for the family.
My Catholic ex-husband would always genuflect when a funeral procession passed.
He’s from NYC and would get upset when I pulled over for them
I've heard people say that it's very rude to laugh and joke with family and friends at a funeral but in the south we aren't really mourning the loss of someone close to us, we're celebrating the life they had before the Lord said their time here on this earth was up.
That is the total truth!
Bible teaches to celebrate the life your loved ones have lived, It was hard not being able to travel to my brothers funeral who died from cancer during lock down. I live in SC, my brother lived in Bath, New York.
We did laugh a little at my uncle funeral(with his children) and no, we were now happy about his death. somehow there's joy in the atmosphere. My Uncle gave His life to the Lord not long before he drew his last breath. By the way, the funeral was held in Buddhism way. Because most of his relative demands it. My auntie said "His soul is with the Lord now, let they do whatever they want with the body".
It's not throughout the south that they bury the casket while folks are there. My home state is MS and last year, my brother was buried after a military escort (WWII vet), then with taps and two sailors folding and presented the flag etc. It was lengthier than usual because a grandson also played the cello. Grandgirls had sung at the service and no one knows how they made it through so beautifully, including them. But all went to that family's church gym to eat while the grave was filled in and then those who wanted to, returned later that same day to the prepared graveside, where my brother's wife was in the grave next to his, of course, having preceded him. Sorry for the length! Us southerners like to tell a story!
"Where my brothers wife was next to him, having preceded him of course" i had to giggle lol I hope so!! But keeping a somber face!
There is no need to apologize. You just tell your story.
Sounds like a beautiful funeral. And your borother had a loving family.
I was raised in NORTH Mississippi and we stayed at the cemetery till the grave was filled and in “those days” the pallbearers helped to fill in the grave. I moved to CENTRAL Mississippi and was surprised that people left the cemetery with the casket above ground; I’m sure the pallbearers were glad they didn’t have to fill in the grave.
My large extended family always has food at the funeral home. Once I was a row over in the grocery store when I heard one lady ask another if they were going to my uncles funeral. The lady replied…”Of course, those Roses are the best cooks.” Made me smile on a sad day. Better than any condolence could have.
No idea if they were independent or company haulers, but I'd like to thank the convoy of big rigs that ran blocker on the backend of a funeral procession line for about 8 miles going down the highway.
Plants and "Go Rest High on That Mountain" is so accurate, not just in the South. Mom and Dad passed within a month of each other and I couldn't give away the last 6 plants. And I still have to nurse them along. Those poor plants.
My father-in-law died in 1996. My parents sent a nice plant. My sisters-in-law insisted we take it home on the plane with us. We've moved across country twice since then and Dad's plant is still with us.
When my stepmother's mother died, one of her last wishes was to be buried in a town about 40 miles from where I live. My stepmother thought the cost of transport was outrageous, so she talked her brother into bringing the casket down in his rig. All 8 hours, it slid back..and forth..back and forth. They stayed with us after the funeral. I'd barely recovered from envisioning this woman's last ride on this planet when my stepmother, telling about the funeral, blurted out, "oh Charlotte. You should've seen her. She never looked better!". I lost it.
Lol
lol! My own mother, at one time, wanted to be buried on top of a mountain on her property. And, the only access to it was a 40 year old, bull dozer trail that was on a 60 degree angle. My brother was all for it and I had to be the party pooper and ask HOW we were going to get mamma's body there. His answer? A backhoe. Fortunately, his wife and I were able to make both of them visual a backhoe crawling up that steep of an incline with a casket chained to the bucket and the thing swinging back and forth like a ragtime metronome!
Your stepmother and her brother's behavior was extremely dishonorable. To treat their own mother in such a fashion! We're required to honor our parents, or did they forget the comnandment?
@@brianmccarthy5557 I dunno sounded like he wanted to honor her wishes. A nice thought but dashed by reality and physics.
@@pennybean6851 lolol! This is priceless. I am sure your mother more than appreciated every effort you made to fulfill her wishes. And she would see the humor in it.
The first funeral that my twin brother attended was for a great uncle our maternal grandmother's brother. Visitation was at the old man's home, way out in the country of Yazoo County, Mississippi. Open dogtrot house, casket set on saw horses in the parlor, first door on the right. There was great uncle Oscar laid out in his best bibb overalls, red check shirt and a pouch of Red Man chewing tobacco stuffed in the front pocket of his bibbs. Now my brother and I had never seen a dead person before and had never seen any of my our grandmother's siblings aside from her sister Aunt Chet. Aunt Chet noticed our unusual attention to the occupant of the coffin and suggested that we go get something to eat from the kitchen. Her directions to said kitchen were as follows" Now boys why don't you go get you something to eat in the kitchen. Go down the end of the trot to the porch and turn left you will see the kitchen out back." The kitchen was a separate building all its own. In those days kitchens caught fire often and to avoid a house fire they were built separate from the house. Did I say that this was an OLD HOUSE? Yep there it was with a cement walk up to the screen door. NO AC in this place! My brother and I could see a man sitting at the table with his back to the door. We opened the door and that door spring gave a good creak. The man at the table turned around and the sight of him nearly scared my twin brother to death. The man was Oscar's twin brother Arthur. The church service was next where I thought that Oscar's widow would climb into the coffin with him. Very emotional scene. The burial took place in the church yard.
That was a fascinating story. I felt like I was there.
Don't stop now! You pulled me right in! Don't hold back, please, tell us the rest! What a good storyteller, writer you are!
That’s some OG stuff!!!
"We don't leave until that casket is in the ground and covered with dirt" - Wait, where do they NOT do that???
At the funerals I've attended in the northeast (NJ/PA, specifically), the casket is buried after the family leaves. They said it's a matter of respect, that the family shouldn't have to be involved in "the dirty work."
@@edefyinggravity Heathens. 🤣🤣
In Ohio, they do not usually bury the coffin until the family is gone.
For some reason, it's considered bad taste to bury the casket while people are at the graveside in Illinois. I don't get it.
It happened at my Great Uncle's funeral here in Ky.
I’m surprised nobody said “oh no I’m not crying it’s just allergies” and really meant it.
That long winded preacher part got me. My godmother passed away a few years ago, and the preacher at her funeral was just dragging on. Telling other people that they had like two minutes to say something, but he was taking forever. I was sitting next to some of the elders and it was mostly them complaining. Felt like by the time he was done we would’ve had another funeral. Sometimes I think in situations like this they should play music like they do at award shows when the actors are giving a speech that’s going too long and the music is a subtle way to tell them to wrap it up.
As a preacher, I can also tell you about a few funerals where several people were schedule to "give tributes" or "share memories," but that turned into practically full blown sermons. (While I sit there thinking, "Hey, leave SOMETHING for me to say, will ya?!?")
Glad you got the church feeding half the town think. Recently attended a funeral and after service buffet feed in a town of 92 and over 150 people showed up for the feed. Maybe 30? showed up for the graveside service, but let me tell you when the Baptist AND Church of Christ put on a after service feed, they make Golden Corral look like pikers.
We Baptists take food very seriously. Jesus fed thousands upon thousands of people on at least two occasions; we're just following His example. ^_^
@@celemirelewen Amen
Meal not feed!
I wasn't sure if I could watch this one because my dad passed away recently and I am planning his memorial service for this weekend, but honestly I loved this! So true even for us here in rural Ohio. My family wanted to stay at the graveside until my grandma was buried last July but they refused to lower her in until we left. My dad's memorial (or celebration of life) is being followed by a meal provided by our church and a time for everyone to share their memories of my dad. We have relatives coming from out of state who I haven't seen since my other grandparents died over 12 years ago. It's going to be a big party, followed by a smaller family party afterwards!
So sorry for your loss. Sending prayers and love your way!
I am so sorry that you are going through but I wish you the best of luck
I am so sorry for your loss. I am praying God comforts you and your family.🙏🏻❤️
Sorry for the loss of your Dad, but I am glad this video made you smile. I lost my father too and I know that all they want is for their children to be happy.
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad last December and it's still too soon for me to say I'm over the grief. Sending hugs and healing prayers your way.
This hits a southern funeral on the head wide open! The food thing is usually because southerners like to take care of the families during this time of grief and food is a way to do that. This happens most whenever you are a part of a church. The “church family” takes care of each other.
Nope not true! My parents were not going to church when, my dad had passed, it was my mom’s co-workers and, a few of my dad’s had food delivered to our home as well as some of my mom’s family members. Also going to church has nothing to do with there being a meal after a funeral. Because, one not all funerals are at churches, a lot are at funeral homes and, there’s usually not a meal usually served at a funeral home, sometimes it’s usually where that person lived or somewhere private where, the family goes to that place pretty regular but, it’s in the town in which the family live.
Growing up, from ages 5-14 or so, "Summer Vacation" was going home to West Virginia for a funeral. Literally every year! I was at least 10 before I realized this wasn't just how vacations worked!
True southern vacations!
So much truth in this video. There were overalls worn at my dads funeral, we had food for weeks, and I had family members that knew my name and I didn’t have a clue who they were. The cherry on top was my dads casket was carried to the family cemetery on his tractor so my dad got to take one last ride on his tractor before he was buried.
Many of those are just what happens/ is said at a funeral, but the Bear Bryant angel one made me laugh out loud 🤣
In school everyone was shocked when I said I had been to over 10 funerals as a teenager when most kids had been to one maybe. But we have a big family! The drama, the food, the stories, the laughs, tears, and Jesus never skip a southern funeral.
One thing they left out is the one person you never saw dressed up who was always dressed up for the occasion. My Dad only owned one suit... for weddings and funerals. So everyone knew what to expect. LOL
"Death comes in threes, I wonder who's next?" True 🤣🤣🤣🤣
OMG. When he said she suffered a long time, she was a Saints fan, I almost died. I’m from New Orleans and been suffering for 56 yrs now. Even wore a bag over my head for a while. Lmao. Hopefully this season will be better.
At least you got to see them win a Super Bowl. Also you got to witness 28-3, which for Saints fan was every bit as good.
@@kevinramsey417 true. The 28-3 was the best and still throwing that in their face. Lmao.
Gosh. I feel that.
Is it the Saints of whom my Louisiana coworker insisted their rally cry is "Who dat?!"
(This was several years ago, before their big win....)
@@MelissaThompson432 sure is my beloved Saints. I’m a die hard who dat! And yes, that is still their rally cry. Lol.
When I grew up in Southern CA in my Mexican American family we went to funerals for every relative. They were all day affairs ended with piles of food and drink. And we did say, "Gee, we only seem to see each other at weddings and funerals."
For many years the running joking in our family was that my Grandmother, who was well known to take "her own sweet time" in all things would most certainly "be late to her own funeral". Fast forward 20 years, she passed away and due to the cemetery being a 6 hour drive from her place of passing......the hearse driver got lost on the way. She was 4 hours late to her own funeral.
As was my mother. The crematorium broke.
In 2019, my maternal grandfather (81) and my step-grandma (80) died when a truck ran over their car with them inside it. My Mom's ENTIRE family showed up (including all of the great aunts and uncles I forgot the names of but swear I hugged at some point), and so did nearly everyone in their rural Texas town. About half of the things in this video happened at their funeral!
Sorry for your loss
Half of my hometown IS related to me (unless they're less than 3rd generation in the area.) And I grew up in Florida, so they're more likely to know me than I am to know them....
Generally if it’s an elderly relative, we have a high old time at the visitation. It’s happy and loud.
that is the way my family is too.
How I want to be remembered laughter through the tears
@@dianeblanton8435 Amen!
My favorite line was about how it was so good to see family again. Not necessarily talk to them but see them from a distance. So relatable. Ha ha ha!
My husband is from NOLA. Funerals are a party. We celebrate their life. Their cares are over. I’ve grown to love that approach.
That’s what I want .
BINGO! Y'all hit it perfectly! FYI: I've heard that some funeral homes in the south bring another fridge to your house during your bereavement. They just put it on the front porch with the other indoor furniture.
It’s actually true, at least where I’m from in NC, but it’s not free. They charge a rental fee! Nothing is free from the funeral home! I’ve buried my mom and dad and both of my brothers. I’m only 48 but the local funeral home knows me by name. Lol.
100% true. When my friend's grandfather who raised him died, they were going to bring him a fridge to help store the extra food. A cousin, my friend, and I carried an old fridge they had stored into the house to store it. And this was Georgia.
Yes! But it's only a loner
Most true southerners around have a second fridge.
I remember my paternal grandmother's funeral, back in 2002. My grandmother's neighbor asked me why I wasn't married yet while standing in front of the open casket. I told her it wasn't quite on my list of priorities right at that moment. Plus, I think the preacher spent three whole sentences on her and the rest of the time about **SIN!!** (if I could underline that, I would) to a captive audience. I never met the man beforehand, yet he would look me straight in the face when he got to a particularly hellfirey bit and I stared daggers back at him. Fun times. lol
“Go rest high on that mountain” was played for 3 of my grandparents and hits me every single time.
Lol when my last Grandparent passed in 2019, it was mostly like this, family reunion and the first thing was eat at Cracker Barrel and laughter. We were also happy the temp was supposed to be 70s for the day of Grandma's funeral in August, we were so happy to not melt at the gravesite and could go to the after meal at the funeral home not as soaked sweaty messes. There's also something about a Southern funeral that leaves people unfiltered because there was a fly that kept landing on Grandma and the casket and a Uncle whispers DURING Amazing Grace that someone should go up and whack it.....I was breaking down but then couldn't stop laughing.
You all missed one. The custom made t-shirts with the deceased's photo on it
And the food
I think that more of black southern thing. I don’t see too many white people do it but I could be wrong.
@@southerncharmed4118 Or the death of a younger person generally.
@@southerncharmed4118 White people do the same, After funeral my family has traditional bonfire where we sit around fire and talk far hours, telling funny stories of when we where growing up. It was 11 children, now only 4 left. We where raised up on a farm in south GA. had a creek in the back yard/ We had our farm chores to do, but we also had happy memories of playing and swimming in that creek and woods. Also went to church every wedsday night and Twice on Sunday. Funerals now it is quiet a large gathering.
During a family funeral, my son was asked to be a pallbearer. To honor the deceased's love of baseball hats, all the pallbearers were given a baseball hat to wear. The pallbearers wore the hats before the service but removed them in the church.
My son has corkscrew-curly hair.
When our family entered the church, one of my daughters wiped her eyes and leaned over to whisper, "Look at Joshua's hair!" My son's hair was plastered bowl-like to his head and then flaired out like a ballerina's tutu.
I'm from the north (from Alberta, aka Canada's Texas) and I've only been to one funeral and pretty much had the same experience just without the drama. My Uncle Malvin died from cancer, he was an awesome uncle quiet but fun to be around, he helped run the family farm for years and cared for ever last cow on the ranch.
At his funeral there were so many family and neighbors there, it was sad to see him go but felt nice to know he was loved by so many.
Loved your remark about being Canada's Texas. Quite a complement. But I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you loved your uncle.
My grandmother got dressed and went to the funeral of a man she knew for years. At least she thought it was for him until she saw him as an usher at the door. Talk about us dying laughing when she came home and told us the deceased escorted her to a pew. Lol!
Now thatt is a good one 😂😂😂😂
There's literally family we only see at funerals. I'm always reminded of why it is only at funerals.
I was a nurse in a nursing home for years. The place where I worked had an in house chaplain that went to every visitation. When she came back she was always asked "How'd they look?". She got so tired if it the last time someone asked her she said " they looked dead , that's how they looked...DEAD!!!"
The answer my daughter gave at my brother’s funeral and I thought I would wet my pants from laughing because it’s true not sleeping don’t look natural just dead
OMG! I have been to enough Southern funerals to fill a football stadium and y'all have hit every nail on the head! Don't forget about the backstabbing of those relatives that don't show up!
Oh lawd that hit home. I had at least a dozen great aunts/uncles as a young’n. Plus the old folks knowing me but I didn’t know them and my mom saying things like “oh you remember Miss Bea. She was the organist at church for the children’s choir when you were in nursery school”. Also having to explain why I pulled over for an approaching funeral procession and took off my hat to my friends across the river in a more northern state. 😁
I moved to NJ from the south. First month in NJ, I was approached by a funeral procession during late rush hour. NO ONE my direction stopped (they did pull over in the same direction to let them pass). When I got to work I asked a native about local customs then proceeded to have a “who’s on first?” conversation about why I wanted to know why no one in oncoming traffic pulled over. “Why would they pull over-they’re not in the way!” “To show respect “ “oh you knew them?” “No” “then why…”
@@YuckyMama Wow! 😮
Oh my Lord never have I thought I'd be laughing about this and I'm sorry I can't help it but I chose that song and played it at my son's funeral, I guess this is funny because I'm a southerner and have often heard that Vince's voice is like an angels. So I hope no one is offended but I think it's a part of how we deal with death in the south is thru humor...but I literally hysterically laughed and said, ain't denyin I'm from the south after that one, I tell ya what?😅
Everybody does it. I'm not in the south. But my family is from Tennessee. The last several decades we've been treating funerals more like celebrations. They are parties. We do laugh. Tell stories. Last several years it's been more like bon voyage instead of goodbye. don't think that's a bad thing.
My mama wanted that song played at her funeral she said years and years before she passed so it was played
Oh my word, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine having to bury one of my children. And I actually almost teared up just hearing mention of Go Rest High on that Mountain.
@@asdisskagen6487 I appreciate your kind words and it's truly not something I'd wish on my worst enemy. He may not be on this crazy planet anymore but he will always be with my heart and looking out for me and letting me know I'm doing ok and that every thing I do is for Something. ♡♡♡
agreed!!!!
Went to almost a hundred southern funerals while working in the AF honor guard and this is exactly accurate. Most of the attendees wore jeans.
Thank you for your assistance. My husband was a Veteran's Cemetery Director until his retirement. He never had a bad thing to say about the Honor Guards.
Death comes in 3s...so true. Last year was my grandpa, his brother-in-law, and his sister.
If y'all didn't get everything exactly right!!! Lol!! All of our funerals are family reunions. Usually with me asking my mom "who was that??" . And its not a funeral without an argument or fight somewhere. When my dad died, I was the drama. We had some obscure preacher who had never met my dad preach his funeral. This was the day he decided to practice his Sunday sermon and the proceeded to preach my daddy I to hell. He got his ass whooped when he came to comfort us.
This happenes over and over again preachers need to learn it's not a chance for them to give a sermon, which usually says the person who has past is going to hell and you are too if you don't repent NOW..... They are supposed to be there to comfort the family not not to yell at them that their loved one is dammed. No one and I mean no one needs a intellecture at a time like this
@@tracyfranklin7883 my aunt's funeral in a nutshell. There's a reason I changed denominations as an adult.
“ She was a Saints fan…” so true. Ya’ll forgot the gunplay and fisticuffs!
I actually had second thoughts about watching this one, but, oh my lord, y'all made me choke on my breakfast! That's some funny stuff.
(And, for all a y'all saying you do the same things elsewhere, just accept this as proof of our influence on wherever y'all'r at.)
Does anybody know what they’re gonna do with his truck? He always told me that I had first dibs on it.😂🤣😂
having lost my Grandmother recently and attending her funeral in Bayou La Batre AL y'all nailed this ! Especially the part about seeing family from a distance LOL
One of the comments I almost always hear…”Don’t she/he look ‘nachrul’?” Ryan came close when he commented the deceased looked ‘peaceful’, but I grew up hearing natural.😆
A lot of people do a celebration of life now around where I live. It still leaves room for grief and I've seen it, it just concentrates on what there is to celebrate about the person instead of dwelling on their absence. Music, food, and the comradery of existing family really help lighten the load for a lot of people. Probably best for those who've had the opportunity to lead a full life though.
I'm from a large Southern family so I have been to a lot of funerals. I was waiting for the humor but all I heard throughout the video was quotes from my lived experience. 🙄 So true, y'all, indeed.
My oldest sister had a set "funeral meal" she would bring as a first meal for the family. One day I went to her house and she was preparing that meal. Of course, I had to ask "who died? She said no one, but your Aunt Edna is not doing so well.
😂🤣
😂😂😂
🤣🤣
My grandmother and her sister had the ‘funeral meal’ recon! Before the body was cold they would be at the house with fried chicken and fresh homemade brownies. Wow, I’m hungry
This couldn't have come at a better time! My Grandma passed away this morning but she hadn't been herself for a long time now as she had alzhimers. I'm envisioning all of this in the upcoming days!
Sorry for your loss.
May she rest in peace, and rise in glory!
Sorry for your loss. I've lost a grandma to Alzheimer's as well. Awful way to go. I'm glad she's not suffering and able to be herself again. I hope the funeral goes smoothly.
When a gentleman we knew died, we were invited to his funeral and interrement ceremony, the cemetery had a specially designed forklift machine that picked up the casket from this table it was on and lowered it to the bottom of the previously dug hole. Then we threw roses over the coffin and the widow, children and grandchildren were given bags of dirt to throw over the coffin. Then everybody sat down, the preacher made a final speech and while he was doing that, the crew quickly filled the hole.
I've heard, said almost everyone of those
The family drama for sure. At my mom's funeral last year my uncle came up to me after the service and said "I'm going to need you girls (my sister and I) to arrange to keep paying property taxes on the family farm for the siblings since your mom did that for us out of the estate money." There hadn't been estate money in a decade. And "We each want one of her quilts." Like dang, she's not even packed away in the mausoleum yet, give it a week or two!
I would have told dear uncle to kindly get out of my face.
I felt this. When my great grandma passed, one of my aunts-in-law asked how 'we were going to split the house' while in the limo on the way to the gravesite.
Almost caused a crash because of the fight that comment sparked.
This is so true, I had to call my family and make sure everyone was okay.
Y’all, they just need the Uncle that gets up at every funeral and gives the same speech at all of them.
My husband’s family all lives up north. Funeral “etiquette” is DEPLORABLE! When my mother-in-law passed away, we received two cakes from my sister-in-law’s best friend and the wife of her husband’s best friend! I thought HOLY COW! How was the rest handled?? It is VERY common for THE FAMILY to foot the ENTIRE BILL to feed all attendants at a RESTAURANT! When my husband’s brother passed in 2018, my sister-in-law doled out over $2500 to feed the hoard! WHAT! THE! HECK!! 😳
This is spot on, all of it. And I had to be the one who had to sing Go Rest High On that Mountain, 😂 “Laughter through tears is one of my favorite emotion”
Man I agree with Pawpaw's breakfast buddies!! That damn city council is a bunch of thieving fools!!!!
The smaller the population, the more important it is to pull over and stop till ALL the cars have passed. Trying to look respectful and sad for the passing procession while a county deputy bawls out the northerner he forced over in front of you is painful.
I think the reason we southerners are so chill at funerals is because we tend to skew religious, so we believe we'll see our departed loved one again.
My Poppaw’s funeral was three weeks ago and i completely felt this. Unfortunately, so many of his generation have gone on, so there wasn’t as many people as there used to be, but growing up, funerals were literally just like family reunions. Also, we called them home goings instead of funerals.
I feel like I just relived every family reunion on my step-father's side. Someone was always about to die, recently dead, or had been dead since before Reagan was in office but they were talking about them like they died last Tuesday. Can I grab a drink with Matt?
This is 100% accurate. Especially the "we need to get together" part. In fact, we had a family reunion last week and someone said, "It's good to get together when it's not at a funeral."
😂 She pulled off that “too soon” so flawlessly!
"They say death comes in threes."
*looks around.*
"I wonder who's next."
My boyfriend of 33 1/2 years died from a stroke 5 years ago. I laughed and cried throughout this video. Thank you!
Just attended my dads funeral & yep it was a reunion. It was wonderful to see everyone.
Don’t forget the It looks nothing like her with all that makeup on. Or when they put a flower in their loved ones hand, Look she’s been picking flowers in heaven!
Go Rest High on that Mountain gets me every time!!
I've learned the act of "strategic parking". Always have an exit plan. Otherwise your stuck for hours.
I don't know if this is just a southern African American thing. But most funerals, the recessional song is Going Up Yonder. They have worn it OUT. Then let's go to the repass. Everyone wants to know who cooked the collard greens. Most likely the chicken came from Publix. We are judging and talking about everything. Even the store bought cakes.
No it's not.We all and I mean all Black,White Asian,Hispanic have their recessional songs that they wear out.And the food is critiqued like they were competing on Iron Chef or Chopped.Heaven forbid you bring a dessert in a Publix's box and not on a nice plate they will talk about you until the next funeral.
The food gossip/drama for sure. "Arlene made the chicken and dumplings. She thinks everyone loves them, but they're not nearly as good as Helen's. We tell her we love them so we don't hurt her feelings." And everyone says "I wish Hardee's still had fried chicken. Boy, that was the best chicken you could get. Remember when we had it that time at ... when Uncle Ray did ... and Aunt Joyce got so mad!" 😂
My parents’ families are large (8 kids and 9 kids) and far-flung, so funerals and maybe weddings are really the only time we’d see everyone. These occasions always ended up taking on a family-reunion feel, with “sibling revelry” continuing into the night (mostly gabbing and endless games of Canasta).
I think this is where my sort of liking funerals comes from. To me, they evoke lots of happy memories of getting together with family.
My granny used to get so mad at funerals when people went to the casket and said "oh they look so natural".....😂
We southerners love our food and fellowship, we can spend hours sitting around talking about good times. This is every funeral I have ever been too. If people didn't bring food you had it catered or went to a restaurant and ate.
I love the painting of the Doyle kick in Alabama vs Tennessee game hanging on the wall in the back. That is just perfect. I already decided I do not want a wake and a funeral. Just bury me and get on to the good stuff. I want everyone sitting around eating and drinking and telling all the stories of "Remember that time when Angela ..... Wow that was some kind of fun!"
That's the one thing I have told people: do not give me a fancy funeral. What good is it for me? Light me up like a dried out christmas tree, and use the money for a massive party. I'm talking catering, DJ, open bar; send my memory out with a bang.
Go rest high on the mountain and Amazing grace is always played and both gets me every single time. But this is so spot on for a Southern funeral!!
Have been to several southern funerals. This is accurate
O’ my goodness, this is what I grew up with. It was as if I was hearing my greats and nana and papa. Thank you so much for the memories
“She wasn’t sick. She was a Saints fan.” Indeed, indeed!
Virginia Gal here. My dad is DETERMINED that all he needs is $100 and some sweet tea when he “heads to the house” as death is referred to in my family
Can confirm the drama will go down. Two aunts punched each other out at grandpa's funeral dinner, and that was before the will was read.
LOL
2:53 I lost it at this. 😂
I swear every time I've gone to a family funeral, it's been like this. I would never have heard these people's names or seen their faces, never gotten a phone call, visit, letter, NOTHING. And then they act all shocked, hurt and offended because I don't recognize them. You could be a lying stranger who just wandered in here for free food and I literally would not know the difference, "Great Aunt Carmen". Maybe next time you want someone to actually know who you are, actually be in CONTACT and MEET them first.
"You're eating a whole potato salad by yourself...Its definitely Ethel."
Lol