I can totally relate to not getting anything done😂 I’ll tell myself I’ll get it done then when I don’t, I’m like “I’ll do it tomorrow!” then tomorrow comes and it’s the same thing😂 or I’ll try to get it done and get distracted by something else! Typical life of ADHD
Telling an ADHDer to "keep things organized" is exactly the same as telling a depressed person "try being happy" and shows a fundamental lack of understanding of ADHD.
Or as a parent of a kid with adhd: don't let them know, they have adhd, just make them follow these rules. It worked soooo well with me. (sarkasm, for those who can't tell)
@@suemerritt7895 I always feel terrible for forgetting names, like it isn't that you were forgettable or that I don't like you, I just struggle with names.
As a child, the words I heard most from my family were "Be quiet!" As an adult, the words I hear most from my family are "Why are you so quiet? Why don't you ever have an opinion? Why don't you share what's going on in your life?" Masks don't just happen, they're created over time from exposure to... less than supportive people.
My family did their best to push me away until I shipped off for the military only to push me away when I came home on leave. As time has gone I’ve stopped reaching out and let them start the conversations now only to find out from friends and other loved ones that they are always complaining about me never coming around. This is often a surprise as they never reach out to me and now that I’m married my wife’s family is always asking us to visit and wants us around more. Those who know me hear me say I feel towards and from my in laws than I’ve ever been able to from my family. Sadly this isn’t the first time either. Just know your not alone and there is people out there who prefer to hear you talk about important things and not the small talk topics. I talk to as many staff and guest as I can and if they want to or choose to stick around I get to have some of my best conversations with random people I can get in today climate
Oh yeah, this totally happened to me too. I went from “expressing every thought out loud” to being so ninja-quiet that I startle people because they didn’t realize I entered the room. This is a bit of a tangent (of course), but talking with other people with ADHD is so liberating because their pace and energy allows me to let go and release the same flow. The pace of conversations with neurotypicals is often stilted because we’re talking and thinking at different tempos. And people with ADHD also usually understand and accept our “weird” and “frustrating” neurodivergent behavior implicitly, without explanation or apologies.
@@TJ-vh2ps Yeah, I've made good ADHD and autistic friends in recent years and even though we mostly text online, my natural voice patterns are less repressed and when I visit my mom now she tells me I need to calm down. 🙄
That hit hard, ya 😔and with alexithyma it’s so hard to just try to talk. Idk I just feel like everything works together in a way to just tair ourselves apart in a way
As a person with ADHD, I love organizing! And by organizing I mean getting a sudden and intense rush of motivation, deciding on a system, starting to implement it, changing my mind 16 times during the process, until what I've actually done is put everything I own on floor. Again. And it only took 4 hours.
THIS!! THIS THIS THIS! My office looks like a pack of rabid FBI sgents went in there and tossed the place. why? because my new job, working from home (clearly I'm s masochist) requires an FBI background check, which meant putting my hands on my expired passport, the one item I always keep in one place....except a year ago I moved and clearly put it somewhere else. I started out just looking for it, and that became a vow to organize, which turned into a frantic explosion of emptying every drawer and file onto the floor, so I moved on to the next disorganized room and found it in the top drawer of a dresser I don't use. That was a week ago, barely a dent made in the explosion. yes, there's an almost empty dresser in a room filled with clutter I could put in the dresser.
@@wafiqaashraf5838 omg this is me!! I love making lists and planning then never do the thing cuz I'm over it by the time I've finished planning it in detail 🙈
My childhood having ADHD undiagnosed summed up in one sentence: "she has so much potential, she's so smart, if only she would apply herself." Then I get zero help in understanding how to do that. I'm 32 and was just diagnosed about 5 months ago. Meds work so well for me. But it's expensive.
The mantra of my teachers and mother.... I think I got lucky and my autism carried me through school because I was always interested in science and had really excellent teachers
Exactly what was on every single Subject, every single report day.. Had my IT Teacher do my work because he knew i could do it, interest just wasn't there though. Would rather try and bypass school Proxy's for accessing websites which were blocked, removing the monitoring software from the PCs to play the games built into Windows.. Same sort of thing with Cooking, Engineering, English, Maths and Science. could have tried as much as I liked, absorbed some of it but the majority just doesn't take my interest for more than a couple minutes.. Grades suffered, prospects suffered too.. diagnosed as being on the "Autism Spectrum" or however it is, last year and being looked at for ADHD/ADD this year. nearly 29 :( Anyone with any sort of suspicion should get it looked at.. It has the potential to absolutely ruin your life otherwise.
Hello I'm Mark I'm 35 and diagnosed since 7 i always hear that too so much potential so smart zero understanding how to do that i live in the Philippines growing up with struggling family now I don't have job no relationship does medication really help? This means so much to me if you reply on this
The best advice I've heard about managing my ADHD (without meds because I'm still a minor and my parents don't believe It's a real thing even when I've been referred god knows how many times and am in the straining process of getting officially diagnosed without my parents finding out WOO) is to stop trying to bring myself to the standards of a normal person so for example if I struggle to do the dishes, buy paper plates. If I find myself dumping wrappers somewhere and keep forgetting or not feeling motivated to put them in the bin, get a bin for every room. If I try and buy healthy foods but getting the idea to prepare and eat them before they go bad is a struggle then I'll buy pre-cut fruit. You wouldn't expect a person in a wheelchair to be able to climb the stairs because they have legs and can theoretically get up with them so why do we expect that we can do everything a neurotypical person can do just because we can moderately function and have the theoretical facilities to manage it?
I’m sorry about your situation. I hope your parents come around. We had buns in every room too. I think it really helped to have a nearby receptacle for trash and or recycle. Paper plates, bowls and cups are great choices too. You got this.
@@TrishaAnnwithanE THANK YOUUUUU My older sister snapped at my dad once and ever since he's been trying really hard but it takes a lot more to change opinions and habits so it's still not great. I'm like 70% sure that my mother has ADHD as well but is in denial and as such is adamant on taking the crew down with the ship so there isn't much hope there and I'm gonna have to wait until I move out (IN THIS ECONOMY?!?!) but thank you for your support!!!!!
"Treat yourself" doesn't really work once you realize you can just....have the thing without doing the task. Treating myself is kind of the problem lol
If I practice guitar once a week for three months, I'll buy myself that new one I keep thinking about ...or... I could just buy the new guitar now and that would motivate me to practice!
When my son was 8 his teachers started threatening to fail him unless I got him checked. They assumed it was ADHD so I got him tested..twice...it always turned out negative and his psychiatrist would tell me she had no idea what they were worried about. I've seen many other specialists too but no one could pick up anything. He had no friends, poor communication and social skills but was an heavy reader and still struggled throughout school until he was 14 and I finally got a diagnose for him. High functioning autism. It's so important to have the correct diagnosis, in my son's case it changed his life
I am like your son. The presentation is different and specialists know what to look for... But I watch ADHD vids because they often have great content re: things to help executive functioning and so on. I find that there is quite a bit of overlapping traits found in those who are autistic and those who have ADHD but those who have autism often get more advice on how to navigate social dynamics, how to read faces or interpret emotions etc. that they sometimes don't provide much support with regards to executive functioning, interoception difficulties and the like.
The heavy reading and poor social skills immediately made me think more autism than ADHD. The fact tho you had to see specialists for 6 years is baffling to me and I am sorry that they apparently were to incapable to determine the correct diagnosis within a year. Hope you both are doing better now!
This made me cry! I’m 56 years old and only realised recently ADHD has been running my life. I realised this through observing my neurodivergent children, and re-discovering myself. It’s sad and liberating at the same time!
I think one of the very present things about being diagnosed late in life is the grief. So much of it. Seeing it as grief, calling it grief and processing it as grief has really helped me. I just got diagnosed at 49.
There's been increasing awareness of it recently, but it's been a struggle to get society to recognize this, especially when it doesn't fit the stereotype that I've often heard of, of a hyperactive young boy. It's rough, realizing how much of your life you've been struggling with something that everyone told you you couldn't have been struggling with, but you're right that it's also liberating, because you have a name for this obstacle now, and you can start finding tools to handle it so much better. I'm so glad you and your children are able to work through this together. My mother and I have been discovering things together as well, and I've found it's great to have the camaraderie and the support within family to figure it out and have patience for yourself and each other.
I was in my late 50’s and lost in the stacks of my college library instead of going back to my study room. I found a book on girls with ADD/ADHD and saw myself. I’m not a freak, a failure, or lazy. I’m me.
I always thought losing my train of thought mid-sentence was because "I'm just smart so I think really fast." I'm still struggling to accept how much being "gifted" masked my symptoms as a kid and led to me living the next 20 years wondering why I couldn't "fulfill my potential".
Oh yes, precisely this. Depending on your age, one other consequence of "giftedness" masking your symptoms is that you'd never be diagnosed with "Minimal Brain Damage". (MBD is an even more outdated term than ADD. When my daughter was diagnosed in the 90s they were just starting to move from the "ADD/ADHD" terminology.)
Oh my gosh yes! I definitely thought that. Why can't people keep up with me? This subject leads to that subject which leads to something else which comes back to the first thing. How is that not obvious? Geez people, get with it. Good news is I was often the only one that could understand my many different ADHD bosses when they drove other neurotypical people nuts.
One of the most common complaints from my teachers in my school report cards was "She isn't living up to her full potential, she needs to try harder and be more organised". The really sad thing is, my 2nd Grade teacher told my parents that she believed I had ADD, and my parents refused to even have me evaluated. Forget about medication. They're total mental health deniers. ADHD is just a Big Pharma conspiracy. 🙄
One of the most common complaints from my teachers in my school report cards was "She isn't living up to her full potential, she needs to try harder and be more organised". The really sad thing is, my 2nd Grade teacher told my parents that she believed I had ADD, and my parents refused to even have me evaluated. Forget about medication. They're total mental health deniers. ADHD is just a Big Pharma conspiracy. 🙄
Jess: "There are days..." Me, unmedicated and pretending I'm fine: "Lol that's my everyda-" J- "If this is your everyday, meds. I recommend meds." Me- "........I feel exposed."
So. I had a therapist a few years ago and I basically described struggling with executive functioning with him and his advice was to just do the thing. Something about how motivation is cyclical, so if you just start doing a task it'll be easier to complete it. Fast forward 3 years, I've realized I have adhd and I get why that advice and that therapist were so unhelpful 👍🏻
My husband's therapist said something similar. "Well, just put yourself in a situation where doing nothing isn't an option." Are you kidding? It's always an option to just sit there! He mentioned that he was wondering if he had ADHD. The therapist disregarded that explanation. A few days later, she called and said, "So, I've been doing some research, and it turns out there is a link in adults between procrastination and ADHD." She recommended meds, the doctor prescribed them, and he is doing so much better. (He has always struggled some, but getting COVID somehow pushed him past his coping ability.)
Well damn! She saved it at the end there. At least she realized when she was lacking knowledge in an area, did some research, admitted her mistake and helped your husband. Bravo!
That girl with the existential dred is ME. That's pretty much my entire weekend. Every weekend my husband isn't home. On another note: I lost my keys the other day and my coworker said, "How did you lose your keys, you drove here." And I cried. So infuriating. If I knew HOW I lost them, I would have had them. They were in a drawer, because I didn't want to lose them. FML.
Same, my parents be like “backtrack what you did” and I’m like I can’t do that my brain decides to yeet my memory when I need it, also when I try to think of where I put something my brain decides to confuse me with a memory from a different day
I feel your pain. I've locked myself out of my car and house multiple times. I started clipping my keys to my belt loop with a carabiner. When I don't have belt loops, I zip them into a coat or purse pocket and I make sure I have them every time I leave a room. Also, my roommate and best friend have spares just in case. You can only get stranded outside in your pajamas after taking out the trash so many times... 😭
@@thebosshouse My girlfriend with ADHD had to call me while I was in another state because she somehow got locked out on the balcony. She didn't have the landlords number in her phone and it was about to die.
@@crazycreeper3653 "also when I try to think of where I put something my brain decides to confuse me with a memory from a different day" This legit almost made me tear up... so frustrating
I've had your videos in my watchlist for literal years and could never bring myself to click on one because so much ADHD information is just overwhelming and hard to implement, but your videos are so simple and easy to watch and you have this incredibly caring aura that helps me judge myself less harshly and I'm so glad today was the day I decided to finally start watching (on my now 2 hour long cleaning break that I took because I got stuck and I don't know how to continue)
@@HowtoADHD I'm on the same page as this person! Also, I found a hack that I genuinely think might help others /immensely/ and I wanted to know your opinion. Break things down into the most minute steps. As you said, try to identify why we might be stuck. Start with two tasks. Your favorite, even if only disliking that task less than the others. For the entire day. one task to start, and the next so you know where to step after step 1. That's how you put it in your brain, that if only these two things get done, it's progress and you've had a great day, if they don't get done it's okay. If you're on step 2, go to next favorite two tasks. Can put up sticky notes etc for reminding yourself what's the least difficult thing for yourself to do. Rinse and repeat, try to listen to thirst, and use that opportunity to take brain breaks IF it won't destroy the focus. Carry/have a water bottle whatever room you can, so getting hydrated in a hyperfocus is far more realistic. Sorry if that doesn't make sense. English is my third language I've found that directing, say, a cleaning hyperfocus this way, very literally helped me get more done in one day than I had been able to in months. Obviously might not ever be doable for someone, and most days even be impossible or a struggle, but directing a good day energy/good brain day into this my friends say have helped a lot
@@traditionalnative Yes!! There are many more little things I do and could do to manage other parts of my adhd, but these are the fundimental ones I live by everyday and I feel like everyone should know about them!! (Also, it's unrelated but your English is really good! Well done on speaking three languages, I wish I could do that)
One of the things from the useless article was "If you think of something, write it down immediately." I recently followed that advice. Problem was, I kept thinking of things. Nonstop. All day. And I wrote all of them down because I didn't want to forget any of those ideas. What wound up happening was me spending literally my entire day at work writing down ideas for a future project and ignoring the task I was supposed to be working on. Which had a fast-approaching deadline. And on which I was already behind schedule.
I think the problem lies with "immediately". I sew, and I have way more project ideas than I could handle. So, when an idea has been around *for a couple of days* , I write it on my handy little list of future projects. I can allow myself to forget about an idea once I have written it down, because the list remembers it for me. Of course this doesn't work with everything, for everyone, but it does help me a lot.
One of my hobbies is writing fiction. I'll hear other fiction writers talk about writing down story ideas so they'll remember them in the future. If I wrote every idea I had down, I'd never actually write a STORY. Instead, I operate on a "survival of the fittest" theory. If it's a good idea, it will stick around until I'm ready to write. For the most part, this theory works for problem-solving as well. If it's genuinely a good idea, I'll remember it when it's time to use it. It is NOT a good way to remember birthdays...
I get where they were going with that, but most things are best left unwritten. If it's not important enough to remember an hour or two later, then it's likely not important enough to write down. The things that are that important are usually fairly obvious. If something of that nature pops up, I generally take my wedding ring and transfer it to my other hand until such a time as I can properly write it down. If it happens to be time sensitive, I'll also set an alarm to remind me to deal with it at an appropriate time. Typically, once you've been doing things like that for a while, you get to the point where you really only have a few things like that on any given day, and it's not so important to be constantly writing things down.
The first video… I relate so much. I’m currently sitting in my room which is super messy but I can’t get myself to clean it. It has been this way for months now… it just feels so intimidating.
O wow I’ve never drank coffee but I’m interested in what kind of effects it’ll give me. I hear people say they have moments of hyper focus 🤷🏽♀️but when’s mine going to kick in. Do I need a dose of coffee 😩
"...recognizing when I'm having a bad brain day and accepting I'm not going to get a lot done, today" just changed my life. I tend to attach guilt and shame to the days when I don't get things done, because of my ADHD. Thank you for giving me permission to give myself a break. ❤💯👍🥰
Sure, I can recognize that for myself. But because I live in a house where there's more judgement than boundaries, it's not possible for me to just step away and allow myself to come back to it naturally. It's like trying to climb the Wall of Awful. I couldn't do it today, and that's fine. I'll get some sleep and try again tomorrow. But then when I wake up and make my way to the wall, people are like "You still haven't gotten to the other side? God, you're so lazy." or "We need you over here NOW!" And I'm like, "Fine, be that way. I won't climb it! 😠" Then I storm off to be away from the wall and everyone pressuring me to get past it already. 😒
So relieved you’re critical of ADHD TikTok. I’ve had a huge issue with it for a long time, and I was worried a TH-cam channel about ADHD would fall into some of the same traps. Glad it didn’t.
i almost burst into tears when you guys started talking about loosing yourself behind the masks. in a way I'm kinda glad to know that it's somewhat normal.
I'm almost 40, I'm finally allowing my true personality to come through more often then I used to...at about 8 or 9 I became aware of annoying and frustrating others and pushed my personality down and turned so much inward. I admit I have to check myself once in awhile because the silliness and hyperactivity can be too much but its been amazing how much happier I am and how many more positive relationships I have now that I'm not pushing my personality down.
The 41 Hacks feels like every article and book I read before being diagnosed at age 45 (or 47, I'm lousy with timelines). Articles like this is probably a big contributor to why I immediately think I'm doing everything wrong because how I accomplish tasks is usually totally different than the way it "should" be done.
TBH, the secret to timeliness comes in the preparation, if you've got things you need, those should be dealt with ahead of time. I love checklists for knowing what I'll need. And, go fast when you think you have plenty of time and slow when you think you need to rush. That's counter-intuitive, but going too slow when you think you have plenty of time, causes you to need to go fast later because you've run out of time. And going fast when you've run out of time, just ensures that you'll make mistakes that cost even more time than just doing it right and being a bit late. The other bits are doing things at an appropriate time, which is what clocks and alarms are for and knowing how long things generally take, which is what timers are for. The last bit, is probably the only one that's legitimately ADHD and not just the result of not being taught how to properly deal with the rest of this stuff. It's also the only bit that causes me trouble on any regular basis. The last bit, and the thing that I'm working on now, is confusing activity with action. I made the mistake last term of scheduling the amount of time that I'd spend on school work rather than setting specific targets that I needed to achieve, the result was that I'd get about as much done starting at the beginning of the week as starting work towards the end and a massive amount of wasted time in the process.
My father (who definitely had undiagnosed adhd) used to tell people "you can tell me what you want done, or how you want it done. But not both" and I hold that sentiment close.
I'm curious as to why it's either 45 or 47, and not 46. I've noticed I do the same thing a lot of times, and others point it out too. I skip a number when I'm not sure which one it is. You think it might be that we remember if it was odd or even? I'm usually really good at remembering numbers, and I've been pondering it recently. It's like every time I see a short string of digits, the numbers just flow right into categories and patterns and I have no trouble remembering them. Is it the same with you?
I was finally able to take ASL as a course as a senior is high school and I got so excited that I did the ENTIRE SEMESTERS WORTH OF WORK in one day. I was just so hyperfocused on it that I did nothing but ASL. I ended up completely forgetting to do my Statistics homework and when I finally forced myself to focus on it, I was so disinterested that I ignored it until it wound up pilling up to 30 missing assignments...
The biggest problem I’ve had with adhd has always been getting out of bed. My brain plans out my day then gets overwhelmed and I don’t wanna move. Doing Martial arts for half my life has helped a bit for me but some days I still struggle. So I give myself a thing I want more than anything else to get moving. My master told me a key piece I use a lot, focus on what you want then use that to start to what you plan.
Some of the "because of ADHD" videos hit me like a brick wall and made me wonder if I had ADHD, and led to me speaking to my doctor. I was able to get tested, and while the specialist says I don't have ADHD, he also tested for anxiety and depression as a part of the test, and found that I had those. So while videos like that can lead to falsely self diagnosing, it ultimately led me down the path towards help
That's awesome! I mean that you got onto help in the end... Not that you have it lol. But glad you know what it is and can get the treatment and understanding of how to work with it.. That you need. I'm still yet to be diagnosed myself (been unable to book the damn appointment lol) but a lot of the symptoms are things that have been present since I was a kid that I just thought was... It was just me... But even if it turns out not to be ADHD it will be good to have an understanding of why this stuff happens and how I work... :)
You should get a second or even third opinion. I've heard of people with ADHD be told by Dr.'s that they don't have it (when they did). Just be careful, and even though I don't know you, I'm glad to hear you're doing better :)
the worst is when your overwhelmed and can’t do anything to help it, for example my cat got sick and blind so now i have to walk him to his food and litter box and it has taken every single ounce of my attention and thoughts
“I need to email this to myself” is just me all day every day 😂😂😂😂 I will, of course, never look at it again, or open it, and have the tab open for years until I close it without having ever read it
I use messenger and message myself. Then, a day later, I go to message myself again and see the previous messages. Then, I ignore the previous messages so I can message myself before I forget why I was messaging myself. Then, I leave messenger, forgetting to go back and read the messages from before. And, yet, I still use this method because 1 out of 7 times, I'll actually go back and read the messages and, sometimes, it's not too late to do one or two of them. :-)
ADHD tik tok is what first alerted my wife to my Adhd. she kept sending me adhd tik toks because so many were funny and were my habits. Until we got serious, talked to a doctor and realized I do have ADHD.
I have so much to say about this video but it would take too long and I’ve already forgotten what I was going to say. So I’ll just say that I’m so glad I found this channel and that Jessica is one of our best advocates. She’s so diplomatic and inclusive.
ADHD tictoks and ADHD comics are part of the reason that I’ve wondered if I have ADHD and make me want to talk to healthcare professionals about ADHD. My main issue is that I’m so bad at planning things that I can’t seem to go in and get an appointment to actually see about getting diagnosed. My parents are now open to the fact that maybe both of them show symptoms of adhd... I’m in my mid 20’s so better late than never lol
Do it, I postponed reaching out to professionals until I was extremely depressed and desperate and it felt like an emergency. But that's not necessary you know. Phone your health care, say you suspect you might have adhd and would like to see someone on it. Write down the date and time they give you. Set a reminder to your phone for it. Maybe write down some things you want to bring up, but they will probably have questionaires to help with the conversation. Make the first step, which is phoning your health care, it's the hardest but I promise that it's worth it. I had some friends to psych me up. I went out of house because my parents didn't know. You can do it.
I'm in the same boat with my parents! I've been recently diagnosed and on meds for just under a month, and even though I haven't worked out dosages yet, after hearing some of the things my meds make easier, they've started looking into it themselves. Of course this happened after meaning to make an appointment for a couple of years in college, but for me that was made so much easier after I called my doctor to setup an appointment since they had a list of people you could talk to about ADHD and get a referral for.
Better late than never... I'm over 60 and just started meds a couple of months ago. Total revelation and I am so grateful! I have real hope of being able to do some of the things I've always wanted to do, there's a couple of books, there's a couple of musical instruments and some recording to do. In any case, just everyday life is so much easier, I get so much more accomplished, and I finished my last freelance writing job a week ahead of schedule. loving it
I went to a psychologist and she was like oh yeah you should stop using your phone too much and I'm like bruh.. are u really a psychologist? 😅 Truth is I got really nervous when trying to explain cause I thought she wouldn't believe me.. and she was half smiling.. I felt so annoyed for a sec but then I tried to just focus on what I was trying to say.. I'm lowkey afraid to go to another psychologist cause I feel like he/she will not actually listen to me.. and the thing is.. I've always been a pretty good student.. so when I told her that I didn't have trouble studying in high school and esrlier, she probably thought that I just have trouble studying now in uni because of schedule.. but I've looked at so many interviews and stuff and I feel like it explains a lot about me and my life 🤷🏻
@@anthonya9583 don't be discouraged by that one psychologist, it often takes people to try multiple counselors before things click. I just got diagnosed recently at the age of 40 because an acquaintance spotted it after a brief conversation on the phone, even though two professional counselors I was talking to (one of whom is really good at family counseling) didn't spot any signs of possible ADHD.
Reminds me about the person my adult son had a meeting with regarding his workenviroment last week. My son tried to explain to this person how ADHD can just shut him down when it is at it's worst and there is nothing he can do when that happen, more then rest and recharge and find positive energy to recover. This person then answer and i quote: "Did you ever consider taking walks?" My son have the diagnose for 24 years and yet somehow this person thought he solved the mystery of ADHD. Take a walk. As if this was never tried.
Surely if the question was “did you ever consider taking walks?” and your son has tried that then the answer is “yes” Why is it such a bad thing to ask a question?
I broke down crying twice during this video when I heard behaviors I have done for decades and never knew they were part of this condition. I didn't know I had this condition until a year ago (I'm 44 years old recovering addict) and though I want to hyper fixate on the years lost and the signs ignored and the misunderstood cries for help but these videos ALWAYS leave me feeling empowered and informed and I literally can't thank you enough for helping me get my life back.
"Not everything that we struggle with it's ADHD" - thank you for it. Sometimes I feel like other ADHD people I know connect everything only to ADHD and I hate it soooo much. It starts to work as an excuse and I hate using ADHD as an excuse.
My favorite daily struggle is hoping i remember to take my ADHD medication. I set multiple timers on my phone so unfortunately I’ve started to become immune to them, especially if the “take medicine” timer goes off and I’m not ready to gulp down pills quite yet. Sometimes I like to have something in my stomach before taking my medicine. Love the added challenge that I’m almost NEVER hungry before noon. Ughhh! It’s crazy to me how long it sometimes takes me to notice that I’ve forgotten it, and by then it might be too late in the day to take it… OR I’ll take it late and end up staying up until the wee hours of the morning. 😵
I have ADHD, depression, anxiety, and autism. I got the whole package lol. Thank you so much Jessica for your channel! You have helped me realize things about myself that I hadn't before and help me know that I'm not alone and that my feelings/behaviors are valid.
I know the “ADHD things” lists can be misleading, but that’s how I decided to peruse a diagnosis. I already know I have depression and anxiety, but after seeing SO many “ADHD things” I’d never heard of before, I started talking to people with ADHD. That’s when it clicked. The key is to not jump to assuming something applies to you when 2-3 symptoms line up.
Kalm Look up adhd symptoms and have most/a lot of them: panik Remember that people tend to overexaggerate things so I most likely don't have it: kalm Multiple people, both online and irl: "Sounds exactly like adhd, have you been tested yet?": panik
I think these vids are ok too, in that they're good at reminding me I'm not alone; but I wish more would emphasize that many ADHD symptoms are common with other issues as well, like PTSD for example. Being diagnosed and diagnosed correctly is vital to treatment and well being regardless of condition.
I laughed at the forgetting what you are talking about mid sentence part. When I realized that I may have adhd was when I was talking to my roommate about something. I forgot what I was saying mid sentence and walked off because something else popped in my head. He stopped me and was like "ok don't finish your story then" I started laughing and told him I completely forgot I was talking lol
Another great video! Connor has quite a lot of great ADHD TikToks too, and he usually makes them pretty funny if you’re looking for a bit of relatability you can laugh to.
I'm 19 years old and JUST got diagnosed last june, behind my parent's backs. I always did terrible in elementary school, teachers used to tell my parents I had a "daydreaming issue" but I was never brought to a doctor (let alone a psych) to see if there was an issue b/c my parents are extremely old fashioned and both have mega complexes. I'm still trying to find what medication works for me, still trying to relearn all these little things about myself that i thought were me being "lazy" but actually stem from my adhd, but I just wanted to thank you. A lot of these kinds of tiktoks were the push for me to actually see a doctor and even though this may be just a reaction video, your comments made me feel extremely validated, so thank u :')
I'm just like you, because of my parents not believing I had adhd even when other people would point it out, I'm 18 and juste got my diagnosis, going on meds in a few days, and getting ready for the journey that finding the right medication will be. Know that you're not alone in this. I too was labeled lazy my whole life or told that I spent my time daydreaming.
While it may feel like you've already had a lot of wasted time, I didn't get diagnosed until my mid 30s and legit didn't have a clue until a year or so prior 🙃 and I know too many others that are even later. Even at our ages, learning and getting help has been amazing for us. You got this!
I can relate to Dani SO MUCH. So much. My external chaos is a direct result of my internal chaos , and vice versa. Like so many people say, YES - these things happen to everyone from time to time, but those of us BRAINS struggle with these things daily, all week, all month, all year, for years. It's not a "I've been really busy for a couple of months and got behind" situation. It's a feeling that you've actually started from behind and everything looks like a HUGE task.
i’m really glad that you covered how the trend of “these things happen because you have adhd!” is really vague and encourages over-diagnosis and self-diagnosis when those things aren’t necessarily true. i saw the title of this video and i was like “i have been on adhd/neurodivergent tiktok and some stuff is really helpful but some stuff has 30k comments, most of which say “the more i see these tiktoks the more i think i have adhd 😳” like yes some of those people definitely do have adhd, but not all of them do. i’ve convinced myself i’ve had all sorts of “disorders” in the past, but that’s not helpful if its not true
Dannie's video was really good about the problems people don't realise come with ADHD. She really got the emotions through of worry, self-doubt and self-criticism for those things which is so important for the impact those emotions have, not just the practical side of not having clean clothes or floors
I was diagnosed at 40. Forgetting what I was saying got so bad that I developed social anxiety leading to depression for years. Finally got adderall and it has helped tremendously. Not 100% perfect but i dont stress looking like an idiot when i speak to people. This channel helped me realize were not alone and nothing is wrong with us. Thank you for your dedication and passion Jess
Oh man that second one about cleaning the kitchen hit home. It seems like one simple task ALWAYS requires a full train of other tasks and it ends up feeling like a maze of trying to find the correct pattern or path to start hahaha.
you know what, i also memorize the right path to do things so when im in motion, i dont get interrupted or stopped by trivial stuff. but its so exhausting tho
I'm trying to move this week and was talking about how stressed and overwhelmed I feel with everything I need to do to pack, and a friend suggested making a list. Trying to explain that the list is a lot more complicated than they realize (and the act of making the list then becomes a stumbling block for me, unfortunately, because I have to have EVERYTHING on the list before I can start doing the list), plus trying to organize the list so that it makes sense... post its. I should use post its. I appreciate the spirit in which the suggestion was made. But I have a hard time with the practical application of this suggestion.
OMG, the self identity one. It’s even worse when you finally start to accept yourself, and immediately get told you’re too loud/distracted/off topic/disorganized. Finding a workplace and circle of friends who accepts us AND appreciates us for the unique skills we do have seems impossible.
Yess! So much this! Me unmasking myself and telling a long story at work to a quick moment when everyone else has mentally moved on from that moment ... awkward 🙄
Yeah, even when I try to relate to people in the same way I see them relate to each other, I still manage to catch a side-eye from at least one or two people.
10:10 I felt physical pain from that tiktok, sometimes i dont feel im in control of my body, just an observer. AND THEN, you said "There are days", which gave me a whiplash, and I was like this is not your constant state of being???? which was promptly followed by the advice: meds. and i was like, owh... Well i would've had meds if my University's doctor would properly diagnose me. All he wanted to know was how I acted as a child and just some very basic question to which i had no choice but to say no to because I learned how to suppress all those shit since I live in an Asian household. Now I feel like even more like shit cuz imma start thinking that the doctor and my counselor is gonna think im making all this shit up for attention and to avoid doing classwork.
If you’re a biological girl and you identify as it (not gonna assume from your name/pfp) usually thats what young girls get diagnosed with. Because there was a higher percentage in hyperactivity in boys and just attention deficit in girls. I always thought those statistics were dumb and bogus because as a girl who was diagnosed in kindergarten (I’m 21 now) I was definitely very hyper and always showed more adhd signs than ADD, yet I was always told to say I have ADD. Glad it’s a more generalized term now, because when I was alone I’d always say I had ADHD, cause I felt the two only made sense being one term not two terms under the same category.
Same here... I am definitely not hyperactive, and because of that wasn't diagnosed till college when I got a tip from a friend and went to get tested myself... So I guess my ADD is cured, but now I've got ADHD😋
I'm glad you just call it a bad brain day. That makes me feel better, I was always told it was a choice, untangling those learned negative perceptions is so much easier with someone who knows what its *really* like. Thank you so much for doing these videos. ❤
That second one though… growing up whenever one of my parents told me to clean my room I just couldn’t do it most of the time. Only recently did I start being able to verbalize to my mom why I couldn’t do it. The way I said it was “when I start cleaning my room, I’ll usually start going around picking up trash, but while I’m picking up trash I’ll find a book so I’ll put that book on top of my bookshelf, but then I’ll find a pencil on the bookshelf and decide that it needs to go in my pencil cup on my desk, on the way to the desk I might see the trash bag again and start picking trash up with the pencil still in my hand, eventually I’ll probably see a picture that I haven’t hung up yet so I’ll put it in the pile of pictures to hang up, then I might realize that I’m still holding the pencil and get it to the pencil cup. And so on and so on until I’m just burnt out.” I don’t have an adhd diagnoses btw, but I’m pretty sure I should
I love love love Connor's Tik Toks! I got a late diagnosis and my friend started sending me these tik toks (she is neurodivergent) when I confided in her during the "I can't have this" phase. And yea, a lot was relatable so it helped.
So I was only half sure I was ADHD because I don't struggle as much as most....then I realized that no in fact I just self-corrected and taught myself how to overcome and compensate for most of my struggles. I literally taught myself to think my way out of anxiety attacks without meds or help. Basically I have been handling ADHD by myself my whole life and found ways to mask it even from myself. Wouldn't recommend this for everyone. I you can have help, get it. It helps to be friends with others with ADHD. Me and my Best-friends have helped each other compensate for what each other has gotten good at.
You gotta manage it somehow I suppose. Once (actually more than once now that I think about it) I had to go do something for the first time which worried me to the point where I felt sick and dizzy but I still forced myself into going, even if I was sweating like I was running a marathon on a hot summer day and literally shaking
Honestly same When you live in country where adhd is stigmatized and live with parents who doesn't believe in adhd as an actual disorder You'll have to work your hardest to not look lazy when in fact you do care And trying your best to not let anyone's anger and disappointment completely destroy you. For now I can still handle Yet I should also remember the chances of reaching my breaking points are high
"Not everything you struggle with is ADHD." Man, this hit hard! I am 30 and was diagnosed a few weeks ago. Over the years I build so many habits which revolve around ADHD symptoms. And then I fell into this hole of "who am I, am I nothing but ADHD? What if I'll never get better, since I'll have this condition for the rest of my life". But it's not like that. My ADHD per se isn't my struggle, really. I actually like so many traits of how my brain works. It's the anxiety, coping mechanisms and a whole lot other stuff. THANK YOU for making that clear, this really helped me to get some perspective
I tried watching ADHD TikTok, but so many of them seem to be either peddling outdated understandings of ADHD or pretending that ADHD is a secret superpower or other weird things.
I feel that. While I enjoy most of Connor's videos there are some where he talks about how he learned like 4 new hobbies instead of doing what he was supposed to. Now I feel even more unproductive cause when mine kicks in I just end up with a bunch of half invested interest that go nowhere and leave me with no cool hobbies to show people.
The search function on tik tok is terrible, I would suggest filling creators like Catie and Connor who are both in this video (the kitchen sticky note one and the mask one) and interacting with their content, then the algorithm will better understand that you don’t want the outdated/superhero tik toks, worked for me
@@TheGamingBDGR Connor's videos that got recommended to me tended to be more of the unrealistic procrast-uctivity things like you mentioned or the outdated notion that setting your clock early would prevent you from being late etc. He might be a nice guy but his videos really did not give me good vibes.
I feel the "when was the last time I drank" so hard. I've gotten myself into a routine now of making two cups of tea so it's harder for me to just forget or delay getting more whilst at home, having a dedicated bedroom waterbottle, and taking two water bottles to work so I can just swap them out at lunch without having to find a water fountain or stress about it. It's not a perfect system because I reguarly forget about the tea next to me on my desk, but I've not had a dehydration headache in months, so it's working well enough.
I made myself a little sling carrier that holds a 1 liter water bottle. That way I can just carry it around with me and not have to think about remembering to pick it up!
The last one was actually helpful. You always hear about ADHD affecting your life in ways like having poor grades or always running late. It's nice to see some other ways it can manifest.
That reading thing. I failed a standardized test because they would throw in trick questions like what option is the best or whatever. I lost an entire semester credit of my junior year in a remedial english class (I was simultaneously in AP language arts). It was sooo stupid that the school system made me go from analyzing nathaniel hawthorne, mark twain and others to a class where I was suddenly the fastest reader (never happened to me before) and had just needed to be taught how to think like the people who wrote the test, while simultaneously writing essays on why the option I selected was actually better than what the answer was "supposed to be".
i started actively masking around third grade, because I was often seen as 'Weird' and the bullying started to increase tenfold. I started trying to fit in which only had me stick out more because I wasn't good at that either. So more recently I've started trying to find myself again. I was just happier then. I don't think I'll ever be the same exact person i was, but I think I can be a bit more like her. I hope I can, and good luck to everyone else out there trying to do the same thing
Danni’s video made me cry. Every single point is me. Specifically. I was diagnosed as an adult. Late. I’m so glad I found your channel. I’ve never met other people like me.
OMG, I can totally relate! I start in one area, walk into another room, get distracted by another task and bouncing back & forth & all over... ending up making a cluttered mess... which then leads to mental & physical exhaustion, more procrastination and self-loathing.
See both my partner & I struggle with undiagnosed adhd (it’s undiagnosed due to either not having money to get diagnosed but also continuously putting it off haha) but between the two of us we have very different forms of adhd. I am highly introvert & he is definitely an extrovert. Between us though, we are pushing eachother to get into a better sleep schedule. Bed at 1030, awake at 6am. 1.5 weeks in & we are getting better! I think having eachother to push ourselves is helping create habits. But also know there are things with two adhd adults living alone with a puppy & a cat, running a house is hard too 😂
My daughter is a sufferer and this video opened my eyes in the sense of how accurate it is to her behavior. Thank you for presenting it in a light and humorous way, but not discarding the predicaments of the person involved. This is helping me to be less judgmental and to become more understanding. Thank you again
I understand why it was done but merging ADD/ADHD under one term has been an extremely frustrating experience as someone who doesn't experience many "hyperactivity" symptoms and I would even say it's probably contributed to my delayed diagnosis. I've come to hate the term "hyperactive" because it's what everyone thinks of when they think of ADHD.
The hyperactivity can be also "expressed" (not sure if this is a good term) as impulsivity. I agree with you in the sense hyperactivity as being an introvert I never shown such behavior. But when comes to impulsive behavior... Oh gosh :-/
I fell through the gaps because my hyperactivity wasn't physically evident. However it is internal. It exists, but not outwardly obvious as s stereotyped by the media.
I am primarily inattentive. If people say "wait but you aren't hyper!" I tell them I am just internally hyper. That my thoughts are always bouncing off the walls, even if I can sit still.
I have “inattentive” adhd (what used to be called add) and I’ve found that really the main difference is my hyperactivity isn’t as obvious or recognizable from the outside. So no, I don’t match the hyperactive 9yo boy adhd stereotype, but my thoughts are always going a thousand miles a minute, I’m constantly wiggling my feet or tapping my fingers or clicking my teeth or picking at my fingernails, if I have to stand still to wait for something or have a conversation I can’t handle it without kicking my feet out or swaying my hips or even walking in circles if I don’t need to stay in the same exact place. Obviously my experiences aren’t universal but I think merging the terms is mainly just about expanding the definition of “hyperactivity” to include internal symptoms that often got missed, especially in afab people
People just have a stereotyped view of ADHD as the boy who is always bouncing off the walls just like they have a stereotype of autism as the boy who doesn’t understand humour and has to have a very strict routine. I was confused when they gave me a diagnosis of combined type because I didn’t think I was “hyper” but I do constantly chew my nails or shake my leg or fiddle with something.
My bf and I both have ADHD. I was diagnosed while I was with him about a year ago after he noticed my symptoms. Our apartment is basically set up for success and we’re constantly trying new ways! These are great, and I love your channel ❤️
I can't help but feel that list was made by a nurotypical person. Because my boyfriend who is nurotypical literally said some of these things to me the other day. And probably the most harmful thing he said was "only you can change you" when I said I didn't like myself because of my ADHD tendencies. 🙄
He sounds like he's trying to be sweet... and failing miserably... guys, if you want to sound nice to your adhd (or any other condition) partners, please do your research before saying stuff like this. They'll appreciate it.
I've been really dreading watching nuerodivergent content because I feel like so much of it is going to be wildly misleading/incorrectly assumptive bc of the overlap between behaviors for different conditions. Your content has been a real relief about that concern because of how dedicated you are to the specifics. Thanks for your hard work + community education!
I almost admire the hustle of whichever struggling underpaid content writer clinging tenuously onto their dreams of journalistic greatness managed to stretch "have you tried... _not_ having ADHD?" into a 41-point listicle. Maybe they're paid by the word...
Some how stopping in the middle of reviewing videos just to Google an article because it just HAD to be done there and then feels incredibly relevant, like my soul recognized a kindred behavior. Thank you for this prime example of how ADHD really affects us! This is me all day every day and I struggle sometimes to explain how ADHD isnt just being distractable and messy. It would be neat to see more videos like this.
That's pretty common, that's a good reason to have a pad of paper by the computer to write things like that down. They're not what you're doing now, so the better you are at not doing them, the better you'll be. But, obviously, if it were that freaking easy, none of us would have issues with the computer. But, each time you succeed at it, does make a little impact.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade I hear you! I have tons of sticky notes specifically "to Google later". Sometimes they help but I often forget about them until I'm already down the rabbit hole when I pause and ask myself (sometimes hours after that initial 'Oh! I'm gonna Google that!') "Wait...what was I supposed to be doing again?" Impulsivity is my biggest Struggle Symptom.
This!!! I often got responses looking at me weirdly like "why'd you go the extra mile just to find this old pic in the middle of our conversation" but to me that was not the extra mile, it was part of the conversation. Do people just dislike doing things in the middle of conversations? It's not an interruption if it's relevant, and they don't take nearly as long as it seems like people think they do.
There are times when someone asks a question and then if I don't know the answer, I obsessively think about it until I can look it up. 5 days ago someone asked what an object was on Reddit r/whatisthisthing and no one has identified what the object is and I'll lay in bed for hours trying to Google match images to figure out what the object is. It's driving me mad that I don't know what it is lol I NEED TO KNOW.
6:50 why do most tips by neurotypicals just boil down to "if you have adhd, just pretend you don't, don't accommodate yourself at all, just try to behave 'normally' despite your entire brain structure"? Like, thanks unhelpful website, that's what I've been forced to do for 19 years, and it's the reason I'm miserable and incapable of maintaining an independent and healthy adult life and household.
"Washed the same clothes like three times..." - OMG, it hit so hard! I cried every time I forgot to take clothes out and had to rewash them because they were stinky. In Eastern Europe we air dry and this all process took a lot of time. While pregnant bought an electric dryer. My life is still a mess but at least now we have clean clothes in the dryer (though I never take them out, too much effort).
So, just wanted to point out that one girl's "I would have seen the signs" video was more about her personal signs. Those were the things overlooked in her specific instance so it was valid and true for her. Also, I think the "things you do because" trend is more directed at ppl who *are* ADHD and know it. I didn't start seeing those until I was deep into ADHD Tok, post-diagnosis. Not saying they're entirely accurate but I think recognizing the target audience is important. Fellow ADHDers will know that not everything applies to everyone and that this is all just supposed to be relatable, entertaining, sometimes informative content. It's the 'put a finger down' ones that are especially problematic, if we're talking misinformation. They're super pseudo-diagnostic and troubling because they're so overly broad and actually do try to imply you have XYZ. Or they cherry pick the most innocuous symptoms/traits *because* it'll be relatable to a wider audience and therefore get more engagement. And I think that's a much bigger issue than the more niche content.
I have ADHD and OCD. Not only do I obsessively make things “perfect” but I leave things by forgetting and remember hours later and it makes it hard to do anything when that one thing is on replay in my mind.
When you watched Dani's video about the email, I said "wall of awful" at the same time you did... and it was just a gleeful moment. Recently diagnosed and really enjoying this channel. Thanks!
I can totally relate to that kitchen one. Also. My reading comprehension was excellent until I hit about 7 years ago when my ADHD symptoms hyped up by about 10,000% and first I stopped being able to comprehend what I read and I got so super distractable also that I gave up reading and then gave up writing after being really into writing for pleasure and for regulating my thoughts because my same comprehention issues happened inside my head. My auditory and visual processing ability crashed to "useless" level.
Same here, when I was younger I could read and understand but now reading is one of the last things I want to do. If I can find the audible that’s the direction I will go.
@@ladydee2896 audible or audio book platforms through your local library (which i highly recommend because they are free and support your local library) are the best because you can still consume stories while doing other things in the background! So no need to worry about something distracting you from reading your book because you can just multitask and do something boring or something else that’s fun at the same time!
My reading comprehension depends on the topic, always did. I reed stuff I find interesting really fast amd remember even tiny details "normal" people forget by the end of the page. Boring stuff however, I can read as slowly and as often as I want, I usually forget it faster than I finish.
I used to be an avid reader as a kid.. then as i got more busy, i stopped reading.. nowadays when i try to read (not just books, let's say emails or articles), the info i'm reading cannot get into my brain. is this because i'm not used to reading frequently anymore or has there been a decline in my reading ability due to worsening adhd?
I've subscribed to and started watching your channel. 52 year old with ADHD here. This was my Saturday I shared with my friends on FB. "One of the things about being ADHD that no one understands is you will have a string of things/events you will get distracted from you have to get back to. Case in point. 1. Need to start the dryer. 2. Lint trap needs to be cleaned, but requires a paper towel to do so. 3. Washer needs to be started, but you want both started at the same time. 4. Set the lint trap on top of the stove to get a paper towel. 5. Song comes on you don't like. 6. Change the song. 7. Go back to the bedroom to fold up the clothes. 8. Realize you forgot to get hangers, and then realize you didn't do step 1, because step 2 hasn't been completed yet. 9. Take care of steps 1-3. 10. Get hangers and hang up two pairs of pants. 11. Change song again because Spotify hates me. 12. Come here to tell this tale, and now I'm back to finish hanging up clothes." Have a great day!
These were so relatable. I dont take meds for my ADHD, so doing certain things can be easier, but a lot of the time it is harder. Things get easily overwhelming, and then I get distracted and forget to do what I was going to do 🥲 Awesome video, I felt really understood :)) 👏🏻
I'm currently moving to a new apartment over the next 10 days while working 6 of them and trying to see family for the holidays in between. I absolutely am feeling the "do nothing for 5 hours" "panic" emotions. Also I haven't figured out how to meal prep in the process of this move so I did eat pretzels and peanut butter for breakfast
Protein bars / shakes are my go-to for any kind of "I'm busy but I need to consume energy". And they're better than they used to be: I like Kind Nut Butter bars, and Slim Fast high protein shakes.
I feel you on this. I’m leaving to visit my in-laws for the holidays this afternoon (2 days earlier than planned) and the amount of things I have on my to do list is overwhelming and I’m starting to have that do nothing panic now and I have 5 hours until I have to leave but I know j need to get things done!! (As you can see the do nothing panic has extended to me watching and commenting on TH-cam videos about adhd because now I am distracted and can’t get back to my to do list lol)
@@itsthevoiceman I second any sort of protein bar or shake because at least you’ll get some protein in to sustain you and maybe some nutrients from vitamins that they add in plus they taste like sweet treats (which adhd brains love lol) and they’ll actually semi fuel you compared to just snacks
Currently moving, by which I mean putting stuff into boxes for a bout 30 minutes and then watching a YT video for an hour and then playing a game for 30 minutes and then doing some work for 2-3 hours and then putting more stuff in boxes for about 30 minutes.
The first time I realised masking had made me not know who I was anymore was the first covid lockdown. The government stopped my GCSEs so I did t have any work to do, so had only free time and I had to figure out what I enjoyed doing rather than just working constantly to survive
The washing the same clothes 3x in the washer hit home XD I appreciate you, Jessica. I suffer from ADHD, and have a severe case of it, and learning about myself through you has been both entertaining and helpful. Thank you.
i was diagnosed as a kid but stopped medication around 5th grade and have been off for about 15 yrs. I made the best choice ever and got psychological testing done recently and after hours of testing and weeks of waiting found out i have ADHD(of course lol), but ocd, ptsd, and dysthmia as well. I finally feel like i can start down the path of understanding myself and healing :)
Your channel is the only place where I can find someone who empathizes on the ADHD in me without that person actually physically or virtually empathizing with me!! I have been diagnosed with ADHD and I can relate and unconsciously nod at all the things you say.. And yeah, I have masked myself so much that I cannot tell what/who I am now!! The most ironic part is trying to explain this only to get a reply back saying, "aw you overthink and I am really sure it's not any of that!".. And after hearing this over and over agan, I finally felt it's ridiculous to even try explaining the situation! It's been a few years and I had masked and still masking some realy good people out of my life, just because I don't know how to explain to them that I need time to unmask myself and discover "ME". I deeply miss them but this is the only solution I can think of to discover myself, find my passion (not something others said I had), work on it and get a job again!! I feel at home with this amazing community you have got hear.. Cheers brains🔥🔥
First, I’d like to say I’m not diagnosed, but have thought for a while that I might have ADHD. I have lots of potential indicators, but these two are what make me suspect it most. 1. My mind moves so quickly from one thing to the next that I often forget a task I’m asked to accomplish, almost immediately. As a kid If I wasn’t reminded I would often get in trouble for not doing it, and be told that I was lazy, disrespectful, or obstinate. I never meant to forget and would have done the task if I hadn’t gotten distracted and forgot. I still struggle with my brain racing. I have to listen to a podcast at night to fall asleep or my brain runs a mile a minute and I can’t sleep. 2. I hyper-focus to the point of no sleep. If I have a task I need or want to complete, I can’t stop until it’s done. Even it I’ve worked on it from 8am until 4am the next day. I can’t let it go until it’s done, and I get irritable if interrupted.
Wow, the 41 "hacks" one is tragically hilarious and hilariously tragic!!! I saw a similar article along the lines of "hacks to cure your depression" which basically said, "1. Stop having this symptom of depression," "2. Stop having this symptom of depression," "50-something. Stop having this symptom of depression." Gee, thanks random guru of the Internet, I'd never thought of just not having depression symptoms anymore and how not having the symptoms might cure me!!! Thank you for the enlightenment!!! (PS Catieosaurus is a Goddess and I adore her... 💙🦕💙)
I got emotional watching this, for me sometimes its not about the challenges of what ADHD brings with it. It is at times about feeling like you are living with more than one version of yourself, none of whom are perfect, or deliver what you need when you need it. I do hope you have an excellent Christmas and a prosperous New Year.
One thing people fail to understand is ADHD is not that bad (I quite enjoy the ADHD moment in my life), the bad part is that the world refuses to accept us. The constant pressure to be "normal" destroyed my life.
I disagree with you. I do not enjoy not being able to do things that I want to do. Forgetting anything that isn't tied to my body. Not being able to move to do necessary stuff. Needing a translator(my friends who know how my brain works) at times to help people understand what I'm saying. Being unable to do anything productive when I'm in a high mode. I know that it's common for people to say that the world isn't accepting neurodivergent people. Yes, it isn't. But I'm not going to be magically cured if the world was different. I'm still going to struggle to do basic tasks. ADHD *is* a neurological problem and it needs to be treated as such.
@@nityaprabhandam5239 I felt the same, but as I worked on my anxiety, I was able to love myself more. It's hard. Really hard. But when my loved ones around me know what's going on, I legitimately feel so supported and have so much fun. And when I have solid support, I feel better about not being able to solve everything myself. And honestly, the diagnosis made me more anticapitalist, because the idea my self-worth is tied to financial productivity is insane. And uh... That's how I feel today. Maybe two months from now the anxiety will get worse and I'll be back to thinking ADHD is a net negative. That's unfortunately very possible and likely. But I think the problem is my anxiety and not the ADHD. If I didn't have the anxiety, I would always be talking to myself with love. But everyone's journey is different. I think it's okay to view it as a disability as long as you don't view it shamefully. If you view it neutrally, and just something to keep in mind, that seems healthier and more productive.
I don’t think you actually have ADHD then. It’s ruining my life. I can’t think of a single aspect of it that’s “not that bad”. Maybe you were misdiagnosed.
I love how you talked about how just because you do certain things like cracking your knuckles, etc. because a lot of people need to know that. My cousin thought she had ADHD because she would watch those videos and relate to like everything. Theres such things as symptoms of ADHD and things that everyone does and I think that gets blurred.
I hate how blurred it gets sometimes too because then everyone feels like they can relate to your adhd because they do one or two of the things that you also do as part of your adhd. Like oh everyone procrastinates some things and gets distracted and cracks their knuckles and sometimes impulse shops…but no this is stuff I deal with daily or even hourly and there’s barriers in my mind to getting things done or stopping a task to switch to something else or making me get distracted whenever I try to start something. Its like people saying their “so ocd” when they like to keep a tidy space or some little imperfection bothers them when that’s not what ocd is. Just like doing some of these behaviours makes people say “oh I’m so adhd” when they are definitely not and then it makes it harder for them to take our real struggles seriously because they’re like “oh but I do this and I can still get my work done so you’re just lazy”. Drives me up the wall!! And sorry for my rant under your comment but I hope you relate haha
It also contributes to denialism. After 15 yrs I’m still trying to get my husband to understand that Yes ADHD is a real thing. One that I struggle with everyday. Just bc doctors over prescribed Ritalin in the 90s to every child in America doesn’t mean that I don’t actually have it. I don’t take medication now bc of…. Well a few reasons but I think, he thinks that bc I’ve been able to manage (barely) without medication, I must not have it.
@@Tc.GetsCrafty true. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. My parents and many of my friends are in denial about it and act like I'm just lazy and useless.
Reading comprehension also varies from subject to subject. I tend to skim through subjects, instructions, that I feel familiar with. Known tests and interesting topics can also play their part. I’ve definitely caught myself “pretending” to read before.
I don’t have a diagnosis for ADHD but I did treatment for depression and anxiety for years. ADHD tips have helped me immensely on my daily life. Breaking down washing the dishes, taking a shower and even for my work’s tasks has helped me so much. Thank you! I’m super grateful your videos are short!
Thank you, again for making me feel heard. Even on meds, ADHD is still incredibly frustrating for me and it drives me absolutely crazy that I can cognitively know what I need to do, but can't make my body do it. And, yeah, those 41 hacks were total BS, lol. BTW, you are looking quite lovely! Your hair is gorgeous! Take care and Happy New Year!
I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and I have to say that your videos have been the best source of information I have ever found! I am learning so much thanks to you. I just want to say I am so appreciative of you and everything you are doing. Every video of yours I have seen, so far, has been an epiphany for me. Thank you so much and keep doing what you are doing! Luv yer Brainz!
Here i am watching TH-cam videos for hours instead of taking a shower and working of a paper that was due last Sunday and my last chance to submit is this Sunday and i havent even started it!
I like getting multicolored sticky notes, and pick my favorite color (at the time bc it changes depending on my mood) for either the first thing or most urgent things for me to do so it’s not just a sea of reminders and feel too overwhelmed to deal with any of them. It helps me gravitate visually towards those most important tasks and makes me actually START the list of crap I need to do.
I can totally relate to not getting anything done😂 I’ll tell myself I’ll get it done then when I don’t, I’m like “I’ll do it tomorrow!” then tomorrow comes and it’s the same thing😂 or I’ll try to get it done and get distracted by something else! Typical life of ADHD
Congrats on being the pinned comment.
Yep yep 😐
I feel that
@@coena9377 Thank you!
That’s called ADHDADH...
Telling an ADHDer to "keep things organized" is exactly the same as telling a depressed person "try being happy" and shows a fundamental lack of understanding of ADHD.
THIS! It's not like it wouldn't *help* us to stay organized -- obviously it would -- it's just not actually *doable.*
Lol its like 'having a hard time focusing? Just don't get distracted!'
I've even gotten this from therapists and it's so frustrating :(((
I think it's like telling a blind person to *just* look harder and they'd be able to see.
Very much, that entire article could be summed up to "1 hack to make your life easier with adhd: don't have adhd."
That 41 ADHD/'ADD' Hacks list could've been narrowed down to just one hack: "Don't have ADHD". Thanks, I'm cured.
hahaha this made me laugh out loud. Thanks 😂
Or as a parent of a kid with adhd: don't let them know, they have adhd, just make them follow these rules.
It worked soooo well with me. (sarkasm, for those who can't tell)
Ah yes, one of the most patronizing articles I’ve seen in a while
I don't think whoever wrote that article actually has ADHD 😂
Literally was about to comment this lmao 🤣
The most annoying symptoms about ADHD is can’t hearing someone even if I’m paying attention and forgetting or partially completing tasks…
THIS IS SOOOOO TRUE!!! How about not remember what they look like either, let alone their name. Names take months...
@@suemerritt7895 I was not alone
@@suemerritt7895 I always feel terrible for forgetting names, like it isn't that you were forgettable or that I don't like you, I just struggle with names.
Oh my gosh yes!! And the more I try to focus on the person the less I can hear them
@@suemerritt7895 and if their names are similar, forget about it
I love avoiding things I'm supposed to be doing by watching an ADHD channel the irony is so real.
IM DOING THE SAME LOL
No joke, ffs. Getting diagnosed in a week, can't wait for the meds. But even gaining awareness has been *so intensely helpful*.
I have quite a few big projects due at my college and I'm here watching these being like oh yeah that's why this tab is open and not my homework
I feel personally attacked.
Oh. Right. Thats... true.
As a child, the words I heard most from my family were "Be quiet!" As an adult, the words I hear most from my family are "Why are you so quiet? Why don't you ever have an opinion? Why don't you share what's going on in your life?" Masks don't just happen, they're created over time from exposure to... less than supportive people.
My family did their best to push me away until I shipped off for the military only to push me away when I came home on leave. As time has gone I’ve stopped reaching out and let them start the conversations now only to find out from friends and other loved ones that they are always complaining about me never coming around. This is often a surprise as they never reach out to me and now that I’m married my wife’s family is always asking us to visit and wants us around more. Those who know me hear me say I feel towards and from my in laws than I’ve ever been able to from my family. Sadly this isn’t the first time either. Just know your not alone and there is people out there who prefer to hear you talk about important things and not the small talk topics. I talk to as many staff and guest as I can and if they want to or choose to stick around I get to have some of my best conversations with random people I can get in today climate
Oh yeah, this totally happened to me too. I went from “expressing every thought out loud” to being so ninja-quiet that I startle people because they didn’t realize I entered the room.
This is a bit of a tangent (of course), but talking with other people with ADHD is so liberating because their pace and energy allows me to let go and release the same flow.
The pace of conversations with neurotypicals is often stilted because we’re talking and thinking at different tempos.
And people with ADHD also usually understand and accept our “weird” and “frustrating” neurodivergent behavior implicitly, without explanation or apologies.
@@TJ-vh2ps Yeah, I've made good ADHD and autistic friends in recent years and even though we mostly text online, my natural voice patterns are less repressed and when I visit my mom now she tells me I need to calm down. 🙄
That hit hard, ya 😔and with alexithyma it’s so hard to just try to talk. Idk I just feel like everything works together in a way to just tair ourselves apart in a way
Oh god I was told you’re too loud, too sensitive, too much in general
“You’re not a sociopath”
“Nope, just ADHD”
I felt that one
Timestamp?
Starts at 3:45
Same. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one 😅
I also had masking gender dysphoria to add so yea, i really lost sight of who i was.
Damn, so many people have called me as sociopath. I still don’t even know what that f***ing means lol.
As a person with ADHD, I love organizing! And by organizing I mean getting a sudden and intense rush of motivation, deciding on a system, starting to implement it, changing my mind 16 times during the process, until what I've actually done is put everything I own on floor. Again. And it only took 4 hours.
i do this too and end up only working on the planning bc i do the things one day and give up
THIS!! THIS THIS THIS! My office looks like a pack of rabid FBI sgents went in there and tossed the place. why? because my new job, working from home (clearly I'm s masochist) requires an FBI background check, which meant putting my hands on my expired passport, the one item I always keep in one place....except a year ago I moved and clearly put it somewhere else. I started out just looking for it, and that became a vow to organize, which turned into a frantic explosion of emptying every drawer and file onto the floor, so I moved on to the next disorganized room and found it in the top drawer of a dresser I don't use. That was a week ago, barely a dent made in the explosion. yes, there's an almost empty dresser in a room filled with clutter I could put in the dresser.
@@wafiqaashraf5838 omg this is me!! I love making lists and planning then never do the thing cuz I'm over it by the time I've finished planning it in detail 🙈
same
@@dogbonestudio this giving me anxiety bro lol 🤣🤣🤣
My childhood having ADHD undiagnosed summed up in one sentence: "she has so much potential, she's so smart, if only she would apply herself." Then I get zero help in understanding how to do that. I'm 32 and was just diagnosed about 5 months ago. Meds work so well for me. But it's expensive.
So accurate. I was diagnosed in my 30s as well.
Same! Literally the same! I was diagnosed at 30 and the meds are too expensive. So sometimes I have medicine and sometimes I don't.
The mantra of my teachers and mother.... I think I got lucky and my autism carried me through school because I was always interested in science and had really excellent teachers
Exactly what was on every single Subject, every single report day.. Had my IT Teacher do my work because he knew i could do it, interest just wasn't there though. Would rather try and bypass school Proxy's for accessing websites which were blocked, removing the monitoring software from the PCs to play the games built into Windows.. Same sort of thing with Cooking, Engineering, English, Maths and Science. could have tried as much as I liked, absorbed some of it but the majority just doesn't take my interest for more than a couple minutes.. Grades suffered, prospects suffered too.. diagnosed as being on the "Autism Spectrum" or however it is, last year and being looked at for ADHD/ADD this year. nearly 29 :( Anyone with any sort of suspicion should get it looked at.. It has the potential to absolutely ruin your life otherwise.
Hello I'm Mark I'm 35 and diagnosed since 7 i always hear that too so much potential so smart zero understanding how to do that i live in the Philippines growing up with struggling family now I don't have job no relationship does medication really help? This means so much to me if you reply on this
The best advice I've heard about managing my ADHD (without meds because I'm still a minor and my parents don't believe It's a real thing even when I've been referred god knows how many times and am in the straining process of getting officially diagnosed without my parents finding out WOO) is to stop trying to bring myself to the standards of a normal person so for example if I struggle to do the dishes, buy paper plates. If I find myself dumping wrappers somewhere and keep forgetting or not feeling motivated to put them in the bin, get a bin for every room. If I try and buy healthy foods but getting the idea to prepare and eat them before they go bad is a struggle then I'll buy pre-cut fruit. You wouldn't expect a person in a wheelchair to be able to climb the stairs because they have legs and can theoretically get up with them so why do we expect that we can do everything a neurotypical person can do just because we can moderately function and have the theoretical facilities to manage it?
This is amazing. Well done 1000 times over!! ♥
I’m sorry about your situation. I hope your parents come around. We had buns in every room too. I think it really helped to have a nearby receptacle for trash and or recycle. Paper plates, bowls and cups are great choices too. You got this.
@@TrishaAnnwithanE THANK YOUUUUU
My older sister snapped at my dad once and ever since he's been trying really hard but it takes a lot more to change opinions and habits so it's still not great. I'm like 70% sure that my mother has ADHD as well but is in denial and as such is adamant on taking the crew down with the ship so there isn't much hope there and I'm gonna have to wait until I move out (IN THIS ECONOMY?!?!) but thank you for your support!!!!!
@@ishaaustin971 its literally the same situation in my house too
Remember kids, don't self-diagnose!
"Treat yourself" doesn't really work once you realize you can just....have the thing without doing the task. Treating myself is kind of the problem lol
I *could* reward myself with a candy bar for cleaning up that pile of stuff that's threatening to engulf my desk
Or I could just eat a candy bar
Exactly!! This animal training doesn't work on us. If we're getting the reward, we don't need to do the work.
@@Yirggzmb and it requires a lot less executive function to just grab a snack than it is to, say, clean the kitchen lol
If I practice guitar once a week for three months, I'll buy myself that new one I keep thinking about
...or...
I could just buy the new guitar now and that would motivate me to practice!
There's also the fact that self-made rules are really hard for me to adhere to. I *know* who made those rules, and they're a *jerk!*
When my son was 8 his teachers started threatening to fail him unless I got him checked. They assumed it was ADHD so I got him tested..twice...it always turned out negative and his psychiatrist would tell me she had no idea what they were worried about. I've seen many other specialists too but no one could pick up anything. He had no friends, poor communication and social skills but was an heavy reader and still struggled throughout school until he was 14 and I finally got a diagnose for him. High functioning autism.
It's so important to have the correct diagnosis, in my son's case it changed his life
It's just Autism. Functioning labels are harmful even if it's part of the diagnosis. (Yes I'm Autistic)
I am like your son. The presentation is different and specialists know what to look for... But I watch ADHD vids because they often have great content re: things to help executive functioning and so on. I find that there is quite a bit of overlapping traits found in those who are autistic and those who have ADHD but those who have autism often get more advice on how to navigate social dynamics, how to read faces or interpret emotions etc. that they sometimes don't provide much support with regards to executive functioning, interoception difficulties and the like.
how did they test your son? my son is having the same requests by his teachers
The heavy reading and poor social skills immediately made me think more autism than ADHD. The fact tho you had to see specialists for 6 years is baffling to me and I am sorry that they apparently were to incapable to determine the correct diagnosis within a year. Hope you both are doing better now!
There is no high functioning or low functioning autism. Who is anyone to claim that one child "functions" better than another? It's ableist.
This made me cry! I’m 56 years old and only realised recently ADHD has been running my life. I realised this through observing my neurodivergent children, and re-discovering myself. It’s sad and liberating at the same time!
I think one of the very present things about being diagnosed late in life is the grief. So much of it. Seeing it as grief, calling it grief and processing it as grief has really helped me. I just got diagnosed at 49.
There's been increasing awareness of it recently, but it's been a struggle to get society to recognize this, especially when it doesn't fit the stereotype that I've often heard of, of a hyperactive young boy. It's rough, realizing how much of your life you've been struggling with something that everyone told you you couldn't have been struggling with, but you're right that it's also liberating, because you have a name for this obstacle now, and you can start finding tools to handle it so much better.
I'm so glad you and your children are able to work through this together. My mother and I have been discovering things together as well, and I've found it's great to have the camaraderie and the support within family to figure it out and have patience for yourself and each other.
I was in my late 50’s and lost in the stacks of my college library instead of going back to my study room. I found a book on girls with ADD/ADHD and saw myself. I’m not a freak, a failure, or lazy. I’m me.
I always thought losing my train of thought mid-sentence was because "I'm just smart so I think really fast." I'm still struggling to accept how much being "gifted" masked my symptoms as a kid and led to me living the next 20 years wondering why I couldn't "fulfill my potential".
Yes!!
Oh yes, precisely this. Depending on your age, one other consequence of "giftedness" masking your symptoms is that you'd never be diagnosed with "Minimal Brain Damage". (MBD is an even more outdated term than ADD. When my daughter was diagnosed in the 90s they were just starting to move from the "ADD/ADHD" terminology.)
Oh my gosh yes! I definitely thought that. Why can't people keep up with me? This subject leads to that subject which leads to something else which comes back to the first thing. How is that not obvious? Geez people, get with it. Good news is I was often the only one that could understand my many different ADHD bosses when they drove other neurotypical people nuts.
One of the most common complaints from my teachers in my school report cards was "She isn't living up to her full potential, she needs to try harder and be more organised".
The really sad thing is, my 2nd Grade teacher told my parents that she believed I had ADD, and my parents refused to even have me evaluated. Forget about medication. They're total mental health deniers. ADHD is just a Big Pharma conspiracy. 🙄
One of the most common complaints from my teachers in my school report cards was "She isn't living up to her full potential, she needs to try harder and be more organised".
The really sad thing is, my 2nd Grade teacher told my parents that she believed I had ADD, and my parents refused to even have me evaluated. Forget about medication. They're total mental health deniers. ADHD is just a Big Pharma conspiracy. 🙄
Jess: "There are days..."
Me, unmedicated and pretending I'm fine: "Lol that's my everyda-"
J- "If this is your everyday, meds. I recommend meds."
Me- "........I feel exposed."
not even joking -- ADHD life without meds is straight up life on hard mode
@@HowtoADHD ooof, well said 😂
@@HowtoADHD Can't agree more. Just had a baby and looking forward to going back on meds. 😁😴👶
This is me as well :/
@@rubytook8067 congratulations on the birth of your new baby. 🧸🥰
So. I had a therapist a few years ago and I basically described struggling with executive functioning with him and his advice was to just do the thing. Something about how motivation is cyclical, so if you just start doing a task it'll be easier to complete it. Fast forward 3 years, I've realized I have adhd and I get why that advice and that therapist were so unhelpful 👍🏻
My husband's therapist said something similar. "Well, just put yourself in a situation where doing nothing isn't an option." Are you kidding? It's always an option to just sit there! He mentioned that he was wondering if he had ADHD. The therapist disregarded that explanation. A few days later, she called and said, "So, I've been doing some research, and it turns out there is a link in adults between procrastination and ADHD." She recommended meds, the doctor prescribed them, and he is doing so much better. (He has always struggled some, but getting COVID somehow pushed him past his coping ability.)
Not saying it is not true, but YOU realized you have ADHD. Have you been diagnosed by an expert on ADHD?
@@tacticalsapper Yes :)
Well damn! She saved it at the end there. At least she realized when she was lacking knowledge in an area, did some research, admitted her mistake and helped your husband. Bravo!
Because when you consume a label, you will live and be that label, making you complacent. Behavior intervention is a thing....
ADHD TikTok is what made me aware of the things about ADHD beyond hyperactivity and inattention and is what kickstarted my formal diagnosis of ADHD!
same!
Same here! Very grateful I saw these and got diagnosed!
Same!
And, people are so creative with their videos!!! It helps me digest new information a lot easier.
That girl with the existential dred is ME. That's pretty much my entire weekend. Every weekend my husband isn't home.
On another note: I lost my keys the other day and my coworker said, "How did you lose your keys, you drove here." And I cried. So infuriating. If I knew HOW I lost them, I would have had them.
They were in a drawer, because I didn't want to lose them. FML.
Same, my parents be like “backtrack what you did” and I’m like I can’t do that my brain decides to yeet my memory when I need it, also when I try to think of where I put something my brain decides to confuse me with a memory from a different day
I feel your pain. I've locked myself out of my car and house multiple times. I started clipping my keys to my belt loop with a carabiner. When I don't have belt loops, I zip them into a coat or purse pocket and I make sure I have them every time I leave a room. Also, my roommate and best friend have spares just in case. You can only get stranded outside in your pajamas after taking out the trash so many times... 😭
@@thebosshouse My girlfriend with ADHD had to call me while I was in another state because she somehow got locked out on the balcony. She didn't have the landlords number in her phone and it was about to die.
Ahh yes the classic "I'll put this in a special spot bc it's very important and I don't want to forget it"
@@crazycreeper3653 "also when I try to think of where I put something my brain decides to confuse me with a memory from a different day" This legit almost made me tear up... so frustrating
I've had your videos in my watchlist for literal years and could never bring myself to click on one because so much ADHD information is just overwhelming and hard to implement, but your videos are so simple and easy to watch and you have this incredibly caring aura that helps me judge myself less harshly and I'm so glad today was the day I decided to finally start watching (on my now 2 hour long cleaning break that I took because I got stuck and I don't know how to continue)
Aw thank you!! I’m so happy to hear that, I feel the same way about a lot of the advice that’s supposed to help us. “Cool. I’ll just do that. …howww.”
@@HowtoADHD I'm on the same page as this person! Also, I found a hack that I genuinely think might help others /immensely/ and I wanted to know your opinion.
Break things down into the most minute steps. As you said, try to identify why we might be stuck. Start with two tasks. Your favorite, even if only disliking that task less than the others. For the entire day. one task to start, and the next so you know where to step after step 1. That's how you put it in your brain, that if only these two things get done, it's progress and you've had a great day, if they don't get done it's okay. If you're on step 2, go to next favorite two tasks. Can put up sticky notes etc for reminding yourself what's the least difficult thing for yourself to do.
Rinse and repeat, try to listen to thirst, and use that opportunity to take brain breaks IF it won't destroy the focus. Carry/have a water bottle whatever room you can, so getting hydrated in a hyperfocus is far more realistic.
Sorry if that doesn't make sense. English is my third language
I've found that directing, say, a cleaning hyperfocus this way, very literally helped me get more done in one day than I had been able to in months. Obviously might not ever be doable for someone, and most days even be impossible or a struggle, but directing a good day energy/good brain day into this my friends say have helped a lot
@@traditionalnative Yes!! There are many more little things I do and could do to manage other parts of my adhd, but these are the fundimental ones I live by everyday and I feel like everyone should know about them!! (Also, it's unrelated but your English is really good! Well done on speaking three languages, I wish I could do that)
"Getting emotional or stressed? Calm down first."
Well thank you for THAT little nugget of brilliance!
One of the things from the useless article was "If you think of something, write it down immediately."
I recently followed that advice. Problem was, I kept thinking of things. Nonstop. All day. And I wrote all of them down because I didn't want to forget any of those ideas.
What wound up happening was me spending literally my entire day at work writing down ideas for a future project and ignoring the task I was supposed to be working on. Which had a fast-approaching deadline. And on which I was already behind schedule.
I think the problem lies with "immediately".
I sew, and I have way more project ideas than I could handle. So, when an idea has been around *for a couple of days* , I write it on my handy little list of future projects. I can allow myself to forget about an idea once I have written it down, because the list remembers it for me.
Of course this doesn't work with everything, for everyone, but it does help me a lot.
I write stuff down when I think of it….but then lose the post it’s 🤷🏻♀️
@@WeirdHeather I can never use post-its. There would be a million of them.
One of my hobbies is writing fiction. I'll hear other fiction writers talk about writing down story ideas so they'll remember them in the future. If I wrote every idea I had down, I'd never actually write a STORY. Instead, I operate on a "survival of the fittest" theory. If it's a good idea, it will stick around until I'm ready to write. For the most part, this theory works for problem-solving as well. If it's genuinely a good idea, I'll remember it when it's time to use it. It is NOT a good way to remember birthdays...
I get where they were going with that, but most things are best left unwritten. If it's not important enough to remember an hour or two later, then it's likely not important enough to write down. The things that are that important are usually fairly obvious.
If something of that nature pops up, I generally take my wedding ring and transfer it to my other hand until such a time as I can properly write it down. If it happens to be time sensitive, I'll also set an alarm to remind me to deal with it at an appropriate time.
Typically, once you've been doing things like that for a while, you get to the point where you really only have a few things like that on any given day, and it's not so important to be constantly writing things down.
The first video… I relate so much. I’m currently sitting in my room which is super messy but I can’t get myself to clean it. It has been this way for months now… it just feels so intimidating.
It definitely is! Try to let go of any expectations and try picking up one thing a day or spending 5 minutes a day cleaning
I used to do that when I was like 9 I wanted to die when I looked at my closet
"High caffeine consumption - or you could just be in college"
that one hits home.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Such a mood
Both ADHD and college at the same time.... might be pushing my caffeine intake to truly drastic levels lol.
O wow I’ve never drank coffee but I’m interested in what kind of effects it’ll give me. I hear people say they have moments of hyper focus 🤷🏽♀️but when’s mine going to kick in. Do I need a dose of coffee 😩
@@Only1SapphireDiamond be very careful with coffee. You drink it and boom you're in forever
"...recognizing when I'm having a bad brain day and accepting I'm not going to get a lot done, today" just changed my life. I tend to attach guilt and shame to the days when I don't get things done, because of my ADHD. Thank you for giving me permission to give myself a break. ❤💯👍🥰
Sure, I can recognize that for myself. But because I live in a house where there's more judgement than boundaries, it's not possible for me to just step away and allow myself to come back to it naturally. It's like trying to climb the Wall of Awful. I couldn't do it today, and that's fine. I'll get some sleep and try again tomorrow. But then when I wake up and make my way to the wall, people are like "You still haven't gotten to the other side? God, you're so lazy." or "We need you over here NOW!" And I'm like, "Fine, be that way. I won't climb it! 😠" Then I storm off to be away from the wall and everyone pressuring me to get past it already. 😒
So relieved you’re critical of ADHD TikTok. I’ve had a huge issue with it for a long time, and I was worried a TH-cam channel about ADHD would fall into some of the same traps. Glad it didn’t.
i almost burst into tears when you guys started talking about loosing yourself behind the masks.
in a way I'm kinda glad to know that it's somewhat normal.
I'm almost 40, I'm finally allowing my true personality to come through more often then I used to...at about 8 or 9 I became aware of annoying and frustrating others and pushed my personality down and turned so much inward. I admit I have to check myself once in awhile because the silliness and hyperactivity can be too much but its been amazing how much happier I am and how many more positive relationships I have now that I'm not pushing my personality down.
i cried so much too
@@happyholly7023 🤗
@@emmy_louu 🤗
same im crying rn omg
The 41 Hacks feels like every article and book I read before being diagnosed at age 45 (or 47, I'm lousy with timelines). Articles like this is probably a big contributor to why I immediately think I'm doing everything wrong because how I accomplish tasks is usually totally different than the way it "should" be done.
TBH, the secret to timeliness comes in the preparation, if you've got things you need, those should be dealt with ahead of time. I love checklists for knowing what I'll need. And, go fast when you think you have plenty of time and slow when you think you need to rush. That's counter-intuitive, but going too slow when you think you have plenty of time, causes you to need to go fast later because you've run out of time. And going fast when you've run out of time, just ensures that you'll make mistakes that cost even more time than just doing it right and being a bit late.
The other bits are doing things at an appropriate time, which is what clocks and alarms are for and knowing how long things generally take, which is what timers are for. The last bit, is probably the only one that's legitimately ADHD and not just the result of not being taught how to properly deal with the rest of this stuff. It's also the only bit that causes me trouble on any regular basis.
The last bit, and the thing that I'm working on now, is confusing activity with action. I made the mistake last term of scheduling the amount of time that I'd spend on school work rather than setting specific targets that I needed to achieve, the result was that I'd get about as much done starting at the beginning of the week as starting work towards the end and a massive amount of wasted time in the process.
My father (who definitely had undiagnosed adhd) used to tell people "you can tell me what you want done, or how you want it done. But not both" and I hold that sentiment close.
I'm curious as to why it's either 45 or 47, and not 46. I've noticed I do the same thing a lot of times, and others point it out too. I skip a number when I'm not sure which one it is. You think it might be that we remember if it was odd or even? I'm usually really good at remembering numbers, and I've been pondering it recently. It's like every time I see a short string of digits, the numbers just flow right into categories and patterns and I have no trouble remembering them. Is it the same with you?
@@girlunrepentant1254 by the way I super love your username
I was finally able to take ASL as a course as a senior is high school and I got so excited that I did the ENTIRE SEMESTERS WORTH OF WORK in one day. I was just so hyperfocused on it that I did nothing but ASL. I ended up completely forgetting to do my Statistics homework and when I finally forced myself to focus on it, I was so disinterested that I ignored it until it wound up pilling up to 30 missing assignments...
The biggest problem I’ve had with adhd has always been getting out of bed. My brain plans out my day then gets overwhelmed and I don’t wanna move. Doing Martial arts for half my life has helped a bit for me but some days I still struggle. So I give myself a thing I want more than anything else to get moving. My master told me a key piece I use a lot, focus on what you want then use that to start to what you plan.
Thank you for this!
Yes!! I thought I was depressed, but my brain was overwhelmed and hijacking my day! Thank you Adderall
For me getting out of bed is soo hard as well :o
this. I'm in bed watching this video and reading your response because I've already decided today is going to be overwhelming subconsciously!!
I get up way earlier than I have to because I KNOW it’s going to take me a while to actually motivate myself to get the *^*~ up
Some of the "because of ADHD" videos hit me like a brick wall and made me wonder if I had ADHD, and led to me speaking to my doctor. I was able to get tested, and while the specialist says I don't have ADHD, he also tested for anxiety and depression as a part of the test, and found that I had those. So while videos like that can lead to falsely self diagnosing, it ultimately led me down the path towards help
That's awesome! I mean that you got onto help in the end... Not that you have it lol. But glad you know what it is and can get the treatment and understanding of how to work with it.. That you need.
I'm still yet to be diagnosed myself (been unable to book the damn appointment lol) but a lot of the symptoms are things that have been present since I was a kid that I just thought was... It was just me... But even if it turns out not to be ADHD it will be good to have an understanding of why this stuff happens and how I work... :)
ahhhh! Thats why i feel so related! I have agoraphobia with depression! Thank you!
You should get a second or even third opinion. I've heard of people with ADHD be told by Dr.'s that they don't have it (when they did). Just be careful, and even though I don't know you, I'm glad to hear you're doing better :)
the worst is when your overwhelmed and can’t do anything to help it, for example my cat got sick and blind so now i have to walk him to his food and litter box and it has taken every single ounce of my attention and thoughts
“I need to email this to myself” is just me all day every day 😂😂😂😂 I will, of course, never look at it again, or open it, and have the tab open for years until I close it without having ever read it
The struggle is real
I use messenger and message myself. Then, a day later, I go to message myself again and see the previous messages. Then, I ignore the previous messages so I can message myself before I forget why I was messaging myself. Then, I leave messenger, forgetting to go back and read the messages from before. And, yet, I still use this method because 1 out of 7 times, I'll actually go back and read the messages and, sometimes, it's not too late to do one or two of them. :-)
I do that too!!!!
You close the tab?!? HOW? Teach me your ways, please! Haha.
@@LyndaColterBergh 😂😂😂 why 👋 spirit animal
ADHD tik tok is what first alerted my wife to my Adhd. she kept sending me adhd tik toks because so many were funny and were my habits. Until we got serious, talked to a doctor and realized I do have ADHD.
I have so much to say about this video but it would take too long and I’ve already forgotten what I was going to say. So I’ll just say that I’m so glad I found this channel and that Jessica is one of our best advocates. She’s so diplomatic and inclusive.
ADHD tictoks and ADHD comics are part of the reason that I’ve wondered if I have ADHD and make me want to talk to healthcare professionals about ADHD. My main issue is that I’m so bad at planning things that I can’t seem to go in and get an appointment to actually see about getting diagnosed.
My parents are now open to the fact that maybe both of them show symptoms of adhd... I’m in my mid 20’s so better late than never lol
Do it, I postponed reaching out to professionals until I was extremely depressed and desperate and it felt like an emergency. But that's not necessary you know.
Phone your health care, say you suspect you might have adhd and would like to see someone on it.
Write down the date and time they give you.
Set a reminder to your phone for it.
Maybe write down some things you want to bring up, but they will probably have questionaires to help with the conversation.
Make the first step, which is phoning your health care, it's the hardest but I promise that it's worth it. I had some friends to psych me up. I went out of house because my parents didn't know. You can do it.
I'm in the same boat with my parents! I've been recently diagnosed and on meds for just under a month, and even though I haven't worked out dosages yet, after hearing some of the things my meds make easier, they've started looking into it themselves. Of course this happened after meaning to make an appointment for a couple of years in college, but for me that was made so much easier after I called my doctor to setup an appointment since they had a list of people you could talk to about ADHD and get a referral for.
Better late than never... I'm over 60 and just started meds a couple of months ago. Total revelation and I am so grateful! I have real hope of being able to do some of the things I've always wanted to do, there's a couple of books, there's a couple of musical instruments and some recording to do. In any case, just everyday life is so much easier, I get so much more accomplished, and I finished my last freelance writing job a week ahead of schedule. loving it
I went to a psychologist and she was like oh yeah you should stop using your phone too much and I'm like bruh.. are u really a psychologist? 😅 Truth is I got really nervous when trying to explain cause I thought she wouldn't believe me.. and she was half smiling.. I felt so annoyed for a sec but then I tried to just focus on what I was trying to say.. I'm lowkey afraid to go to another psychologist cause I feel like he/she will not actually listen to me.. and the thing is.. I've always been a pretty good student.. so when I told her that I didn't have trouble studying in high school and esrlier, she probably thought that I just have trouble studying now in uni because of schedule.. but I've looked at so many interviews and stuff and I feel like it explains a lot about me and my life 🤷🏻
@@anthonya9583 don't be discouraged by that one psychologist, it often takes people to try multiple counselors before things click. I just got diagnosed recently at the age of 40 because an acquaintance spotted it after a brief conversation on the phone, even though two professional counselors I was talking to (one of whom is really good at family counseling) didn't spot any signs of possible ADHD.
Reminds me about the person my adult son had a meeting with regarding his workenviroment last week. My son tried to explain to this person how ADHD can just shut him down when it is at it's worst and there is nothing he can do when that happen, more then rest and recharge and find positive energy to recover. This person then answer and i quote: "Did you ever consider taking walks?"
My son have the diagnose for 24 years and yet somehow this person thought he solved the mystery of ADHD. Take a walk. As if this was never tried.
I get the "eat right, exercise and get good sleep" speech from my psychiatrist and occupational therapist at pretty much every appointment. 🤦
Walks seem to help me calm down when my brain is in supercharged mode, but when I'm burnt out a nap seems to help more.
@M Martin How did the doctor respond? Was it a meaningful learning experience for them or did they dismiss your feelings about their "medical advice"?
@@IamSlacker I'd say doctors like that typically have a god complex thus they don't get how dumb some of the things they say as "advice" really are.
Surely if the question was “did you ever consider taking walks?” and your son has tried that then the answer is “yes”
Why is it such a bad thing to ask a question?
I broke down crying twice during this video when I heard behaviors I have done for decades and never knew they were part of this condition. I didn't know I had this condition until a year ago (I'm 44 years old recovering addict) and though I want to hyper fixate on the years lost and the signs ignored and the misunderstood cries for help but these videos ALWAYS leave me feeling empowered and informed and I literally can't thank you enough for helping me get my life back.
"Not everything that we struggle with it's ADHD" - thank you for it. Sometimes I feel like other ADHD people I know connect everything only to ADHD and I hate it soooo much. It starts to work as an excuse and I hate using ADHD as an excuse.
Bro
Pro Tip: Remember to remember everything on your “to-do” list. 🙃 JK love your reaction to that useless article
it was SO BAD 😂
My favorite daily struggle is hoping i remember to take my ADHD medication. I set multiple timers on my phone so unfortunately I’ve started to become immune to them, especially if the “take medicine” timer goes off and I’m not ready to gulp down pills quite yet. Sometimes I like to have something in my stomach before taking my medicine. Love the added challenge that I’m almost NEVER hungry before noon. Ughhh! It’s crazy to me how long it sometimes takes me to notice that I’ve forgotten it, and by then it might be too late in the day to take it… OR I’ll take it late and end up staying up until the wee hours of the morning. 😵
😂😂😂😂
My to-do list is ON my to-do list, if you know what I mean.
@@genghisgalahad8465 lol!
I love Connor! His videos have helped me to remember to laugh about my adhd and not wear it like it's a disability
I have ADHD, depression, anxiety, and autism. I got the whole package lol. Thank you so much Jessica for your channel! You have helped me realize things about myself that I hadn't before and help me know that I'm not alone and that my feelings/behaviors are valid.
My therapist: Don't worry mental illness starter pack isn't real, it can't hurt you"
*Mental illness starter pack* :
I didn’t develop the depression and anxiety until my brain was more fully along in the development process, but here I am with the exact same!
Me too
My utism was diagnosed thanks to my depression yet I'm currently researching the last 2 too.
I know the “ADHD things” lists can be misleading, but that’s how I decided to peruse a diagnosis. I already know I have depression and anxiety, but after seeing SO many “ADHD things” I’d never heard of before, I started talking to people with ADHD. That’s when it clicked. The key is to not jump to assuming something applies to you when 2-3 symptoms line up.
Same with me
Kalm
Look up adhd symptoms and have most/a lot of them: panik
Remember that people tend to overexaggerate things so I most likely don't have it: kalm
Multiple people, both online and irl: "Sounds exactly like adhd, have you been tested yet?": panik
I think these vids are ok too, in that they're good at reminding me I'm not alone; but I wish more would emphasize that many ADHD symptoms are common with other issues as well, like PTSD for example. Being diagnosed and diagnosed correctly is vital to treatment and well being regardless of condition.
@@furiousdestroyah9999 me: looks up symptoms. "Oh, everyone has this, right?"
Everyone: no
I laughed at the forgetting what you are talking about mid sentence part. When I realized that I may have adhd was when I was talking to my roommate about something. I forgot what I was saying mid sentence and walked off because something else popped in my head. He stopped me and was like "ok don't finish your story then" I started laughing and told him I completely forgot I was talking lol
Another great video! Connor has quite a lot of great ADHD TikToks too, and he usually makes them pretty funny if you’re looking for a bit of relatability you can laugh to.
Conner’s freaking great. I love him
Connor is hilarious he's my fave on ADHD Tiktok
I'm 19 years old and JUST got diagnosed last june, behind my parent's backs. I always did terrible in elementary school, teachers used to tell my parents I had a "daydreaming issue" but I was never brought to a doctor (let alone a psych) to see if there was an issue b/c my parents are extremely old fashioned and both have mega complexes. I'm still trying to find what medication works for me, still trying to relearn all these little things about myself that i thought were me being "lazy" but actually stem from my adhd, but I just wanted to thank you. A lot of these kinds of tiktoks were the push for me to actually see a doctor and even though this may be just a reaction video, your comments made me feel extremely validated, so thank u :')
I'm just like you, because of my parents not believing I had adhd even when other people would point it out, I'm 18 and juste got my diagnosis, going on meds in a few days, and getting ready for the journey that finding the right medication will be. Know that you're not alone in this. I too was labeled lazy my whole life or told that I spent my time daydreaming.
While it may feel like you've already had a lot of wasted time, I didn't get diagnosed until my mid 30s and legit didn't have a clue until a year or so prior 🙃 and I know too many others that are even later.
Even at our ages, learning and getting help has been amazing for us. You got this!
I can relate to Dani SO MUCH. So much. My external chaos is a direct result of my internal chaos , and vice versa. Like so many people say, YES - these things happen to everyone from time to time, but those of us BRAINS struggle with these things daily, all week, all month, all year, for years. It's not a "I've been really busy for a couple of months and got behind" situation. It's a feeling that you've actually started from behind and everything looks like a HUGE task.
i’m really glad that you covered how the trend of “these things happen because you have adhd!” is really vague and encourages over-diagnosis and self-diagnosis when those things aren’t necessarily true. i saw the title of this video and i was like “i have been on adhd/neurodivergent tiktok and some stuff is really helpful but some stuff has 30k comments, most of which say “the more i see these tiktoks the more i think i have adhd 😳” like yes some of those people definitely do have adhd, but not all of them do. i’ve convinced myself i’ve had all sorts of “disorders” in the past, but that’s not helpful if its not true
Dannie's video was really good about the problems people don't realise come with ADHD. She really got the emotions through of worry, self-doubt and self-criticism for those things which is so important for the impact those emotions have, not just the practical side of not having clean clothes or floors
I was diagnosed at 40. Forgetting what I was saying got so bad that I developed social anxiety leading to depression for years. Finally got adderall and it has helped tremendously. Not 100% perfect but i dont stress looking like an idiot when i speak to people. This channel helped me realize were not alone and nothing is wrong with us. Thank you for your dedication and passion Jess
Oh man that second one about cleaning the kitchen hit home. It seems like one simple task ALWAYS requires a full train of other tasks and it ends up feeling like a maze of trying to find the correct pattern or path to start hahaha.
you know what, i also memorize the right path to do things so when im in motion, i dont get interrupted or stopped by trivial stuff. but its so exhausting tho
YEP! I'm at it again! 🙈
I'm trying to move this week and was talking about how stressed and overwhelmed I feel with everything I need to do to pack, and a friend suggested making a list. Trying to explain that the list is a lot more complicated than they realize (and the act of making the list then becomes a stumbling block for me, unfortunately, because I have to have EVERYTHING on the list before I can start doing the list), plus trying to organize the list so that it makes sense... post its. I should use post its. I appreciate the spirit in which the suggestion was made. But I have a hard time with the practical application of this suggestion.
OMG, the self identity one. It’s even worse when you finally start to accept yourself, and immediately get told you’re too loud/distracted/off topic/disorganized. Finding a workplace and circle of friends who accepts us AND appreciates us for the unique skills we do have seems impossible.
Yess! So much this!
Me unmasking myself and telling a long story at work to a quick moment when everyone else has mentally moved on from that moment ... awkward 🙄
Yeah, even when I try to relate to people in the same way I see them relate to each other, I still manage to catch a side-eye from at least one or two people.
10:10 I felt physical pain from that tiktok, sometimes i dont feel im in control of my body, just an observer. AND THEN, you said "There are days", which gave me a whiplash, and I was like this is not your constant state of being???? which was promptly followed by the advice: meds. and i was like, owh...
Well i would've had meds if my University's doctor would properly diagnose me. All he wanted to know was how I acted as a child and just some very basic question to which i had no choice but to say no to because I learned how to suppress all those shit since I live in an Asian household. Now I feel like even more like shit cuz imma start thinking that the doctor and my counselor is gonna think im making all this shit up for attention and to avoid doing classwork.
Never knew ADD was an outdated term. I was diagnosed with ADD specifically in eighth grade. Good to know there was an update in terminology!
In the past I had both labels ADD and ADHD … so now I only have ADHD ?
@@nerdgeekcosplay909 Congrats on not having ADD anymore lol. Technically true.
If you’re a biological girl and you identify as it (not gonna assume from your name/pfp) usually thats what young girls get diagnosed with. Because there was a higher percentage in hyperactivity in boys and just attention deficit in girls. I always thought those statistics were dumb and bogus because as a girl who was diagnosed in kindergarten (I’m 21 now) I was definitely very hyper and always showed more adhd signs than ADD, yet I was always told to say I have ADD. Glad it’s a more generalized term now, because when I was alone I’d always say I had ADHD, cause I felt the two only made sense being one term not two terms under the same category.
Same here... I am definitely not hyperactive, and because of that wasn't diagnosed till college when I got a tip from a friend and went to get tested myself... So I guess my ADD is cured, but now I've got ADHD😋
I just learned this too!! It’s funny how people who are newly diagnosed know more than me, and I’ve had it lifelong. That’s telling
I'm glad you just call it a bad brain day. That makes me feel better, I was always told it was a choice, untangling those learned negative perceptions is so much easier with someone who knows what its *really* like.
Thank you so much for doing these videos. ❤
That second one though… growing up whenever one of my parents told me to clean my room I just couldn’t do it most of the time. Only recently did I start being able to verbalize to my mom why I couldn’t do it. The way I said it was “when I start cleaning my room, I’ll usually start going around picking up trash, but while I’m picking up trash I’ll find a book so I’ll put that book on top of my bookshelf, but then I’ll find a pencil on the bookshelf and decide that it needs to go in my pencil cup on my desk, on the way to the desk I might see the trash bag again and start picking trash up with the pencil still in my hand, eventually I’ll probably see a picture that I haven’t hung up yet so I’ll put it in the pile of pictures to hang up, then I might realize that I’m still holding the pencil and get it to the pencil cup. And so on and so on until I’m just burnt out.” I don’t have an adhd diagnoses btw, but I’m pretty sure I should
Very detailed and good description of cleaning and organizing struggles.. and of my life. Sounds a lot like ADHD..
That sounds normal to me, though.
I’ve always thought thats what cleaning is
@@Lilly-sc1zjI actually have an official diagnosis now and am on meds and doing a lot better :3
@@ravengray3095 Oh, i'm glad to hear this and that you're doing much better! That must be an improvement in daily life..
I love love love Connor's Tik Toks! I got a late diagnosis and my friend started sending me these tik toks (she is neurodivergent) when I confided in her during the "I can't have this" phase. And yea, a lot was relatable so it helped.
So I was only half sure I was ADHD because I don't struggle as much as most....then I realized that no in fact I just self-corrected and taught myself how to overcome and compensate for most of my struggles. I literally taught myself to think my way out of anxiety attacks without meds or help. Basically I have been handling ADHD by myself my whole life and found ways to mask it even from myself. Wouldn't recommend this for everyone. I you can have help, get it. It helps to be friends with others with ADHD. Me and my Best-friends have helped each other compensate for what each other has gotten good at.
You gotta manage it somehow I suppose. Once (actually more than once now that I think about it) I had to go do something for the first time which worried me to the point where I felt sick and dizzy but I still forced myself into going, even if I was sweating like I was running a marathon on a hot summer day and literally shaking
Honestly same
When you live in country where adhd is stigmatized and live with parents who doesn't believe in adhd as an actual disorder
You'll have to work your hardest to not look lazy when in fact you do care
And trying your best to not let anyone's anger and disappointment completely destroy you.
For now I can still handle
Yet I should also remember the chances of reaching my breaking points are high
yeah i mask so much i hardly knew who i was
"Not everything you struggle with is ADHD." Man, this hit hard!
I am 30 and was diagnosed a few weeks ago. Over the years I build so many habits which revolve around ADHD symptoms. And then I fell into this hole of "who am I, am I nothing but ADHD? What if I'll never get better, since I'll have this condition for the rest of my life". But it's not like that. My ADHD per se isn't my struggle, really. I actually like so many traits of how my brain works. It's the anxiety, coping mechanisms and a whole lot other stuff. THANK YOU for making that clear, this really helped me to get some perspective
I tried watching ADHD TikTok, but so many of them seem to be either peddling outdated understandings of ADHD or pretending that ADHD is a secret superpower or other weird things.
ADHD TikTok made me thought I hadn't ADHD for a while because of how unrelatable it was
I HATE THE SECRET SUPER POWER ONE! It makes everyone suddenly have adhd.
I feel that. While I enjoy most of Connor's videos there are some where he talks about how he learned like 4 new hobbies instead of doing what he was supposed to. Now I feel even more unproductive cause when mine kicks in I just end up with a bunch of half invested interest that go nowhere and leave me with no cool hobbies to show people.
The search function on tik tok is terrible, I would suggest filling creators like Catie and Connor who are both in this video (the kitchen sticky note one and the mask one) and interacting with their content, then the algorithm will better understand that you don’t want the outdated/superhero tik toks, worked for me
@@TheGamingBDGR Connor's videos that got recommended to me tended to be more of the unrealistic procrast-uctivity things like you mentioned or the outdated notion that setting your clock early would prevent you from being late etc. He might be a nice guy but his videos really did not give me good vibes.
I feel the "when was the last time I drank" so hard. I've gotten myself into a routine now of making two cups of tea so it's harder for me to just forget or delay getting more whilst at home, having a dedicated bedroom waterbottle, and taking two water bottles to work so I can just swap them out at lunch without having to find a water fountain or stress about it. It's not a perfect system because I reguarly forget about the tea next to me on my desk, but I've not had a dehydration headache in months, so it's working well enough.
Good for you Lunn, that is progress.
I made myself a little sling carrier that holds a 1 liter water bottle. That way I can just carry it around with me and not have to think about remembering to pick it up!
Well done! 👍
Oh for the love of god please don't tell me that's yet another symptom of ADHD... please don't
The last one was actually helpful. You always hear about ADHD affecting your life in ways like having poor grades or always running late. It's nice to see some other ways it can manifest.
That reading thing. I failed a standardized test because they would throw in trick questions like what option is the best or whatever. I lost an entire semester credit of my junior year in a remedial english class (I was simultaneously in AP language arts). It was sooo stupid that the school system made me go from analyzing nathaniel hawthorne, mark twain and others to a class where I was suddenly the fastest reader (never happened to me before) and had just needed to be taught how to think like the people who wrote the test, while simultaneously writing essays on why the option I selected was actually better than what the answer was "supposed to be".
i started actively masking around third grade, because I was often seen as 'Weird' and the bullying started to increase tenfold. I started trying to fit in which only had me stick out more because I wasn't good at that either. So more recently I've started trying to find myself again. I was just happier then. I don't think I'll ever be the same exact person i was, but I think I can be a bit more like her. I hope I can, and good luck to everyone else out there trying to do the same thing
Well, don't forget you also grew up! Of course we won't be the same person we were as a kid!
Relatable with being called weird and bullying
Danni’s video made me cry. Every single point is me. Specifically. I was diagnosed as an adult. Late. I’m so glad I found your channel. I’ve never met other people like me.
"Are you stressed? Calm down first."
Yeah, I think that is the problem
OMG, I can totally relate! I start in one area, walk into another room, get distracted by another task and bouncing back & forth & all over... ending up making a cluttered mess... which then leads to mental & physical exhaustion, more procrastination and self-loathing.
See both my partner & I struggle with undiagnosed adhd (it’s undiagnosed due to either not having money to get diagnosed but also continuously putting it off haha) but between the two of us we have very different forms of adhd. I am highly introvert & he is definitely an extrovert. Between us though, we are pushing eachother to get into a better sleep schedule. Bed at 1030, awake at 6am. 1.5 weeks in & we are getting better! I think having eachother to push ourselves is helping create habits. But also know there are things with two adhd adults living alone with a puppy & a cat, running a house is hard too 😂
My daughter is a sufferer and this video opened my eyes in the sense of how accurate it is to her behavior. Thank you for presenting it in a light and humorous way, but not discarding the predicaments of the person involved. This is helping me to be less judgmental and to become more understanding. Thank you again
I understand why it was done but merging ADD/ADHD under one term has been an extremely frustrating experience as someone who doesn't experience many "hyperactivity" symptoms and I would even say it's probably contributed to my delayed diagnosis. I've come to hate the term "hyperactive" because it's what everyone thinks of when they think of ADHD.
The hyperactivity can be also "expressed" (not sure if this is a good term) as impulsivity. I agree with you in the sense hyperactivity as being an introvert I never shown such behavior. But when comes to impulsive behavior... Oh gosh :-/
I fell through the gaps because my hyperactivity wasn't physically evident. However it is internal. It exists, but not outwardly obvious as s stereotyped by the media.
I am primarily inattentive. If people say "wait but you aren't hyper!" I tell them I am just internally hyper. That my thoughts are always bouncing off the walls, even if I can sit still.
I have “inattentive” adhd (what used to be called add) and I’ve found that really the main difference is my hyperactivity isn’t as obvious or recognizable from the outside. So no, I don’t match the hyperactive 9yo boy adhd stereotype, but my thoughts are always going a thousand miles a minute, I’m constantly wiggling my feet or tapping my fingers or clicking my teeth or picking at my fingernails, if I have to stand still to wait for something or have a conversation I can’t handle it without kicking my feet out or swaying my hips or even walking in circles if I don’t need to stay in the same exact place. Obviously my experiences aren’t universal but I think merging the terms is mainly just about expanding the definition of “hyperactivity” to include internal symptoms that often got missed, especially in afab people
People just have a stereotyped view of ADHD as the boy who is always bouncing off the walls just like they have a stereotype of autism as the boy who doesn’t understand humour and has to have a very strict routine.
I was confused when they gave me a diagnosis of combined type because I didn’t think I was “hyper” but I do constantly chew my nails or shake my leg or fiddle with something.
That part about masking and losing myself made me want to cry - sooooo true. 😢 Happy to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way!
My bf and I both have ADHD. I was diagnosed while I was with him about a year ago after he noticed my symptoms. Our apartment is basically set up for success and we’re constantly trying new ways! These are great, and I love your channel ❤️
I can't help but feel that list was made by a nurotypical person. Because my boyfriend who is nurotypical literally said some of these things to me the other day. And probably the most harmful thing he said was "only you can change you" when I said I didn't like myself because of my ADHD tendencies. 🙄
You’re referring to the clip by the guy who looks bougie AF, fashion wise? Yeah, I get what the chick reacting to it was saying.
Hopefully your bf (if you’re still with him) learns more about adhd
He sounds like he's trying to be sweet... and failing miserably... guys, if you want to sound nice to your adhd (or any other condition) partners, please do your research before saying stuff like this. They'll appreciate it.
I've been really dreading watching nuerodivergent content because I feel like so much of it is going to be wildly misleading/incorrectly assumptive bc of the overlap between behaviors for different conditions. Your content has been a real relief about that concern because of how dedicated you are to the specifics. Thanks for your hard work + community education!
I almost admire the hustle of whichever struggling underpaid content writer clinging tenuously onto their dreams of journalistic greatness managed to stretch "have you tried... _not_ having ADHD?" into a 41-point listicle. Maybe they're paid by the word...
Some how stopping in the middle of reviewing videos just to Google an article because it just HAD to be done there and then feels incredibly relevant, like my soul recognized a kindred behavior.
Thank you for this prime example of how ADHD really affects us! This is me all day every day and I struggle sometimes to explain how ADHD isnt just being distractable and messy.
It would be neat to see more videos like this.
Yeah, I would have paused and emailed the link to myself, too. 🙂
That's pretty common, that's a good reason to have a pad of paper by the computer to write things like that down. They're not what you're doing now, so the better you are at not doing them, the better you'll be.
But, obviously, if it were that freaking easy, none of us would have issues with the computer. But, each time you succeed at it, does make a little impact.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade I hear you! I have tons of sticky notes specifically "to Google later". Sometimes they help but I often forget about them until I'm already down the rabbit hole when I pause and ask myself (sometimes hours after that initial 'Oh! I'm gonna Google that!') "Wait...what was I supposed to be doing again?"
Impulsivity is my biggest Struggle Symptom.
This!!! I often got responses looking at me weirdly like "why'd you go the extra mile just to find this old pic in the middle of our conversation" but to me that was not the extra mile, it was part of the conversation. Do people just dislike doing things in the middle of conversations? It's not an interruption if it's relevant, and they don't take nearly as long as it seems like people think they do.
There are times when someone asks a question and then if I don't know the answer, I obsessively think about it until I can look it up. 5 days ago someone asked what an object was on Reddit r/whatisthisthing and no one has identified what the object is and I'll lay in bed for hours trying to Google match images to figure out what the object is. It's driving me mad that I don't know what it is lol I NEED TO KNOW.
6:50 why do most tips by neurotypicals just boil down to "if you have adhd, just pretend you don't, don't accommodate yourself at all, just try to behave 'normally' despite your entire brain structure"? Like, thanks unhelpful website, that's what I've been forced to do for 19 years, and it's the reason I'm miserable and incapable of maintaining an independent and healthy adult life and household.
"Washed the same clothes like three times..." - OMG, it hit so hard! I cried every time I forgot to take clothes out and had to rewash them because they were stinky. In Eastern Europe we air dry and this all process took a lot of time. While pregnant bought an electric dryer. My life is still a mess but at least now we have clean clothes in the dryer (though I never take them out, too much effort).
Thought I was the only one, thanks for sharing
So, just wanted to point out that one girl's "I would have seen the signs" video was more about her personal signs. Those were the things overlooked in her specific instance so it was valid and true for her. Also, I think the "things you do because" trend is more directed at ppl who *are* ADHD and know it. I didn't start seeing those until I was deep into ADHD Tok, post-diagnosis. Not saying they're entirely accurate but I think recognizing the target audience is important. Fellow ADHDers will know that not everything applies to everyone and that this is all just supposed to be relatable, entertaining, sometimes informative content.
It's the 'put a finger down' ones that are especially problematic, if we're talking misinformation. They're super pseudo-diagnostic and troubling because they're so overly broad and actually do try to imply you have XYZ. Or they cherry pick the most innocuous symptoms/traits *because* it'll be relatable to a wider audience and therefore get more engagement. And I think that's a much bigger issue than the more niche content.
I have ADHD and OCD. Not only do I obsessively make things “perfect” but I leave things by forgetting and remember hours later and it makes it hard to do anything when that one thing is on replay in my mind.
“You could just be in college,” I died laughing. I’m an adhd college student.
Same!
Same here!
ADHD Engineering student... for the last 8 years... It does not get any easier XD
Same i just realized i faild a class 😭
When you watched Dani's video about the email, I said "wall of awful" at the same time you did... and it was just a gleeful moment. Recently diagnosed and really enjoying this channel. Thanks!
I can totally relate to that kitchen one.
Also. My reading comprehension was excellent until I hit about 7 years ago when my ADHD symptoms hyped up by about 10,000% and first I stopped being able to comprehend what I read and I got so super distractable also that I gave up reading and then gave up writing after being really into writing for pleasure and for regulating my thoughts because my same comprehention issues happened inside my head. My auditory and visual processing ability crashed to "useless" level.
Same here, when I was younger I could read and understand but now reading is one of the last things I want to do. If I can find the audible that’s the direction I will go.
@@ladydee2896 audible or audio book platforms through your local library (which i highly recommend because they are free and support your local library) are the best because you can still consume stories while doing other things in the background! So no need to worry about something distracting you from reading your book because you can just multitask and do something boring or something else that’s fun at the same time!
My reading comprehension depends on the topic, always did. I reed stuff I find interesting really fast amd remember even tiny details "normal" people forget by the end of the page.
Boring stuff however, I can read as slowly and as often as I want, I usually forget it faster than I finish.
Oh god im starting to do that myself. I love to read but more and more i find myself skimming and not reading.
I used to be an avid reader as a kid.. then as i got more busy, i stopped reading.. nowadays when i try to read (not just books, let's say emails or articles), the info i'm reading cannot get into my brain. is this because i'm not used to reading frequently anymore or has there been a decline in my reading ability due to worsening adhd?
I've subscribed to and started watching your channel. 52 year old with ADHD here. This was my Saturday I shared with my friends on FB.
"One of the things about being ADHD that no one understands is you will have a string of things/events you will get distracted from you have to get back to.
Case in point.
1. Need to start the dryer.
2. Lint trap needs to be cleaned, but requires a paper towel to do so.
3. Washer needs to be started, but you want both started at the same time.
4. Set the lint trap on top of the stove to get a paper towel.
5. Song comes on you don't like.
6. Change the song.
7. Go back to the bedroom to fold up the clothes.
8. Realize you forgot to get hangers, and then realize you didn't do step 1, because step 2 hasn't been completed yet.
9. Take care of steps 1-3.
10. Get hangers and hang up two pairs of pants.
11. Change song again because Spotify hates me.
12. Come here to tell this tale, and now I'm back to finish hanging up clothes."
Have a great day!
How did you know my EXACT to do list from yesterday?!???! 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
@@LosAngelesLaura This made me laugh. I think there are many of us that live this life every day.
I wish you a happy and safe new year!
These were so relatable. I dont take meds for my ADHD, so doing certain things can be easier, but a lot of the time it is harder. Things get easily overwhelming, and then I get distracted and forget to do what I was going to do 🥲
Awesome video, I felt really understood :)) 👏🏻
I'm currently moving to a new apartment over the next 10 days while working 6 of them and trying to see family for the holidays in between. I absolutely am feeling the "do nothing for 5 hours" "panic" emotions.
Also I haven't figured out how to meal prep in the process of this move so I did eat pretzels and peanut butter for breakfast
Protein bars / shakes are my go-to for any kind of "I'm busy but I need to consume energy". And they're better than they used to be: I like Kind Nut Butter bars, and Slim Fast high protein shakes.
I feel you on this. I’m leaving to visit my in-laws for the holidays this afternoon (2 days earlier than planned) and the amount of things I have on my to do list is overwhelming and I’m starting to have that do nothing panic now and I have 5 hours until I have to leave but I know j need to get things done!! (As you can see the do nothing panic has extended to me watching and commenting on TH-cam videos about adhd because now I am distracted and can’t get back to my to do list lol)
@@itsthevoiceman I second any sort of protein bar or shake because at least you’ll get some protein in to sustain you and maybe some nutrients from vitamins that they add in plus they taste like sweet treats (which adhd brains love lol) and they’ll actually semi fuel you compared to just snacks
Currently moving, by which I mean putting stuff into boxes for a bout 30 minutes and then watching a YT video for an hour and then playing a game for 30 minutes and then doing some work for 2-3 hours and then putting more stuff in boxes for about 30 minutes.
The first time I realised masking had made me not know who I was anymore was the first covid lockdown. The government stopped my GCSEs so I did t have any work to do, so had only free time and I had to figure out what I enjoyed doing rather than just working constantly to survive
The washing the same clothes 3x in the washer hit home XD I appreciate you, Jessica. I suffer from ADHD, and have a severe case of it, and learning about myself through you has been both entertaining and helpful. Thank you.
i was diagnosed as a kid but stopped medication around 5th grade and have been off for about 15 yrs. I made the best choice ever and got psychological testing done recently and after hours of testing and weeks of waiting found out i have ADHD(of course lol), but ocd, ptsd, and dysthmia as well. I finally feel like i can start down the path of understanding myself and healing :)
I wish you courage, strength, wisdom, and support along your journey 💜
Your channel is the only place where I can find someone who empathizes on the ADHD in me without that person actually physically or virtually empathizing with me!! I have been diagnosed with ADHD and I can relate and unconsciously nod at all the things you say.. And yeah, I have masked myself so much that I cannot tell what/who I am now!! The most ironic part is trying to explain this only to get a reply back saying, "aw you overthink and I am really sure it's not any of that!".. And after hearing this over and over agan, I finally felt it's ridiculous to even try explaining the situation! It's been a few years and I had masked and still masking some realy good people out of my life, just because I don't know how to explain to them that I need time to unmask myself and discover "ME". I deeply miss them but this is the only solution I can think of to discover myself, find my passion (not something others said I had), work on it and get a job again!! I feel at home with this amazing community you have got hear.. Cheers brains🔥🔥
First, I’d like to say I’m not diagnosed, but have thought for a while that I might have ADHD. I have lots of potential indicators, but these two are what make me suspect it most.
1. My mind moves so quickly from one thing to the next that I often forget a task I’m asked to accomplish, almost immediately. As a kid If I wasn’t reminded I would often get in trouble for not doing it, and be told that I was lazy, disrespectful, or obstinate. I never meant to forget and would have done the task if I hadn’t gotten distracted and forgot. I still struggle with my brain racing. I have to listen to a podcast at night to fall asleep or my brain runs a mile a minute and I can’t sleep.
2. I hyper-focus to the point of no sleep. If I have a task I need or want to complete, I can’t stop until it’s done. Even it I’ve worked on it from 8am until 4am the next day. I can’t let it go until it’s done, and I get irritable if interrupted.
Wow, the 41 "hacks" one is tragically hilarious and hilariously tragic!!! I saw a similar article along the lines of "hacks to cure your depression" which basically said, "1. Stop having this symptom of depression," "2. Stop having this symptom of depression," "50-something. Stop having this symptom of depression." Gee, thanks random guru of the Internet, I'd never thought of just not having depression symptoms anymore and how not having the symptoms might cure me!!! Thank you for the enlightenment!!!
(PS Catieosaurus is a Goddess and I adore her... 💙🦕💙)
I got emotional watching this, for me sometimes its not about the challenges of what ADHD brings with it.
It is at times about feeling like you are living with more than one version of yourself, none of whom are perfect, or deliver what you need when you need it.
I do hope you have an excellent Christmas and a prosperous New Year.
Forgot to add - you show at times the life my eldest daughter displays, and the challenges she as on top of other medical conditions.
One thing people fail to understand is ADHD is not that bad (I quite enjoy the ADHD moment in my life), the bad part is that the world refuses to accept us. The constant pressure to be "normal" destroyed my life.
What did you do to help this ?
I disagree with you. I do not enjoy not being able to do things that I want to do. Forgetting anything that isn't tied to my body. Not being able to move to do necessary stuff. Needing a translator(my friends who know how my brain works) at times to help people understand what I'm saying. Being unable to do anything productive when I'm in a high mode.
I know that it's common for people to say that the world isn't accepting neurodivergent people. Yes, it isn't. But I'm not going to be magically cured if the world was different. I'm still going to struggle to do basic tasks. ADHD *is* a neurological problem and it needs to be treated as such.
@@nityaprabhandam5239 I felt the same, but as I worked on my anxiety, I was able to love myself more. It's hard. Really hard. But when my loved ones around me know what's going on, I legitimately feel so supported and have so much fun. And when I have solid support, I feel better about not being able to solve everything myself. And honestly, the diagnosis made me more anticapitalist, because the idea my self-worth is tied to financial productivity is insane.
And uh... That's how I feel today. Maybe two months from now the anxiety will get worse and I'll be back to thinking ADHD is a net negative. That's unfortunately very possible and likely. But I think the problem is my anxiety and not the ADHD. If I didn't have the anxiety, I would always be talking to myself with love.
But everyone's journey is different. I think it's okay to view it as a disability as long as you don't view it shamefully. If you view it neutrally, and just something to keep in mind, that seems healthier and more productive.
someone normal @@nityaprabhandam5239
I don’t think you actually have ADHD then. It’s ruining my life. I can’t think of a single aspect of it that’s “not that bad”. Maybe you were misdiagnosed.
I love how you talked about how just because you do certain things like cracking your knuckles, etc. because a lot of people need to know that. My cousin thought she had ADHD because she would watch those videos and relate to like everything. Theres such things as symptoms of ADHD and things that everyone does and I think that gets blurred.
I hate how blurred it gets sometimes too because then everyone feels like they can relate to your adhd because they do one or two of the things that you also do as part of your adhd. Like oh everyone procrastinates some things and gets distracted and cracks their knuckles and sometimes impulse shops…but no this is stuff I deal with daily or even hourly and there’s barriers in my mind to getting things done or stopping a task to switch to something else or making me get distracted whenever I try to start something. Its like people saying their “so ocd” when they like to keep a tidy space or some little imperfection bothers them when that’s not what ocd is. Just like doing some of these behaviours makes people say “oh I’m so adhd” when they are definitely not and then it makes it harder for them to take our real struggles seriously because they’re like “oh but I do this and I can still get my work done so you’re just lazy”. Drives me up the wall!! And sorry for my rant under your comment but I hope you relate haha
And oops sorry for spelling/grammar mistakes I was typing fast 🤦♀️
@@Mej111 I totally agree. You said it perfectly.
It also contributes to denialism. After 15 yrs I’m still trying to get my husband to understand that Yes ADHD is a real thing. One that I struggle with everyday. Just bc doctors over prescribed Ritalin in the 90s to every child in America doesn’t mean that I don’t actually have it. I don’t take medication now bc of…. Well a few reasons but I think, he thinks that bc I’ve been able to manage (barely) without medication, I must not have it.
@@Tc.GetsCrafty true. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. My parents and many of my friends are in denial about it and act like I'm just lazy and useless.
Reading comprehension also varies from subject to subject. I tend to skim through subjects, instructions, that I feel familiar with. Known tests and interesting topics can also play their part.
I’ve definitely caught myself “pretending” to read before.
I don’t have a diagnosis for ADHD but I did treatment for depression and anxiety for years.
ADHD tips have helped me immensely on my daily life. Breaking down washing the dishes, taking a shower and even for my work’s tasks has helped me so much.
Thank you!
I’m super grateful your videos are short!
Thank you, again for making me feel heard. Even on meds, ADHD is still incredibly frustrating for me and it drives me absolutely crazy that I can cognitively know what I need to do, but can't make my body do it. And, yeah, those 41 hacks were total BS, lol. BTW, you are looking quite lovely! Your hair is gorgeous! Take care and Happy New Year!
I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and I have to say that your videos have been the best source of information I have ever found! I am learning so much thanks to you. I just want to say I am so appreciative of you and everything you are doing. Every video of yours I have seen, so far, has been an epiphany for me. Thank you so much and keep doing what you are doing! Luv yer Brainz!
Here i am watching TH-cam videos for hours instead of taking a shower and working of a paper that was due last Sunday and my last chance to submit is this Sunday and i havent even started it!
I like getting multicolored sticky notes, and pick my favorite color (at the time bc it changes depending on my mood) for either the first thing or most urgent things for me to do so it’s not just a sea of reminders and feel too overwhelmed to deal with any of them.
It helps me gravitate visually towards those most important tasks and makes me actually START the list of crap I need to do.
I love this