Steve Simeone - Brother Wars - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ต.ค. 2024
- When Steve Simeone was growing up, he got stuck in the middle of a fight between his two brothers, which only ended after one of them told a cruel lie.
Watch full episodes of This Is Not Happening now: www.cc.com/show...
Follow Steve Simeone on Twitter: / stevesimeone - ตลก
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Think your family is messed up? Think again. Watch comedians share their most ridiculous family stories on “This Is Not Happening:” th-cam.com/play/PLD7nPL1U-R5pgIBSOJV-fL4uIWR-DZbfI.html
I pissed on my sister
Fuck you for making this series damn near impossible to watch, in it's entirety, for free.
Same sometimes I even go through more than half the episode just for Fonzi’s😂
“Hey, relax, it’s just a game” has started so many fights, fueled so many heart attacks, over the eons.
🤣🤣🤣
As an adopted person who has always known, I **WISH** I would have thought of that last line back when I was a kid. I love Steve's outlook on life, he's a great comedian.
If you like Steve check out the old podcast The Crab Feast with Ryan Sickler. Steve was on many times and is so much funnier on there.
And As an adoption parent I salute you
My brother convinced me that I was adopted and that my real name was Roberto. 😂 To this very day, he STILL calls Roberto lol. That's probably why I found this video super hilarious.
I wish I was closer to some of my family members man but people be toxic and thinking they are better
Nice one Roberto !
That is hilarious!!! I feel ya lol!😂 My sisters always told me I was adopted and both of my parents and my sisters always told me that I was an alien 👽 😅
😆
did the same my sister. Called her Consuela. it was hilarious
Man it takes skill to be a "clean" ish comic and STILL kill it. Big ups, Steve!
What are you talking about this shit is so unfunny its painful.
@@TerraGenocide 😐 Different strokes for different folks. I really enjoyed this. 🤷 Do you have older siblings?
It takes skill to say "f you" instead of "fuck you" ? Really?
Itd be better if he cussed like howie mandel
@@TerraGenocide Do you even have brothers
"Do you hear that...its Queen warming up in the bathroom" is the best smack talk line I've heard so far, fucking brilliant!
background*
The no punching in the face, kicking in the balls brother wars rule did not make it to my house lol
I did that all time to my little brother, he still gets beat up by me as his older sister
@@ShippingZone ohhhh that really makes me wanna punch you.
@@Good_Hot_Chocolate we're only two years apart and we're both teenagers now, it's fair game
@@ShippingZone 41%
Same
The "Caw Caw" sound he makes is my family's call sign, if we get separated in a store or if we're at the park and it's time to go we just do the call everyone knows to round up...it started off as a joke to annoy and embarrass my wife, but one day while out shopping our daughter didn't listen when we told her we would be over in the next aisle and she didn't notice us leaving, but when she realized we were no longer there she got scared that's when we heard "Caw caw" "caw caw". So now my wife thinks it's brilliant.
That was a good job with the ending. His story didn't have an ending but he managed to add more and give it one with the 'they picked me out. you were an accident' line. Great writing.
Oh man, one of the BEST stories.
This dudes visual descriptions were amazing! You can fucking see the rooms and people in your head because he was that fucking good.
please stop texting me
Tre G. I don't even know who you are.
please. I have a family
Tre G. So do I... We don't need to let them know. It would break my dear Mary Sue's heart knowing that I am in love with another man.
This dude is so funny and energetic, one of the most underrated comics out there.
"so we double team on em drop them MF B's on em" got my like
On God 🤣
This is one of the best stories in this series, hands down! The way the story is centered around an Atari and all of his descriptions are centered around the same time frame.....talent, pure talent.
Who else fast forwards through the intro immediately?
Jeffersota stuff of nightmares dude. Fuck Comedy Central for thinking any of them was a good idea. I’ve seen all these episodes and not a single one of the intros is good.
I love the intros
can't remember the last one i've seen.
I know to skip at least a minute.
It becomes a skill for us.
I always go back and watch Steve's content when I need help getting out of those dark thoughts. Steve never fails to make me crack a smile and remember the little bit of good in the world.
the geto boys reference was golden
Quin Cronin ikr!!!!
I've never heard a white person reference that song lol
Droppin them Bs on em LMAO 😂😂
oh yeah yeah
@@Potentialaj Except for this one time: th-cam.com/video/pD2xBXm4y70/w-d-xo.html
My childhood in its entirety.
Oil City Civic Center 😕😕
Dude I'm the older sibling and i told my brother he was adopted and he just went "bullshit i looke like mom but you are the only one in our family with blue eye's" so i wad like 'wait what'
Yeah he turned that around and for like 3 years i asked my mom if i was adopted
Dang you got played my dude
In Highschool we were learning about genetic traits and working out how everybody’s eye color made sense for their parents eye color. One girl got an eye color that didn’t make sense genealogically, next day she comes in and it turns out she was adopted and her parents told her THAT DAY because of a biology lesson
@@bigasspockets both my parents had hazel eyes so does my brother but i have deep blue eye's
@@chrisporter9397 he does
@@ang5037 I meant your real dad
Are you even a younger sibling if your brother or sister _does’nt_ tell you that you’re adopted?
I was convinced for years.
😂
I'm the youngest, and the only boy of 3 sisters. It was pretty believable when my sister told me that.
My siblings tried that, I used that last line on them at 5 yrs old back in 1980. I said, "it just means that they love me more because I was wanted because ya'll are the worst and they wanted a better child" lol
I told my brother he was adopted and my sister she has a disease called mushrooms where mushrooms will grow out her ears and nose
I even got my brother In on the mushrooms thing. My parents ended up telling us to stop lol
Lmaoooo... My older brother and sister used sleep deprivation on me. Anytime I fell asleep they'd scream "SUE BOBBBB" In my ear, and I'd wake up crying. They also told me I was adopted for years, then switched the story when I accepted it, that THEY were adopted, and I was an accident. Jokes on them.aint never snitched, but now who has a degree and money bitches.
*Are you even family, if you never had moment's like this??*
😎😎💯💯👍👍
This was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while, especially when he made his brother sound like Elmo
Amazing story, top three on this show for sure! Well done Steve Simeone!
This is SO relatable. And you know a comedian's good when you start laughing so hard that no sound comes out 😂
I love his wrestling references 👌🏽
Don Papi Knows EMT ~ right.. Most families I grew up with, did same moves haha Including mine
O MY GOD I've been waiting for more stuff by this guy since I heard "the voice of God"
One of my favorite comics now! Such high energy, great descriptions and kindness. Man, I loved that twist at the end :)
I really love comedy..!
It helps take my mind off of things I'm depressed about. When you laugh you feel better.
You had to run around looking for change like you were the damn Goonies screaming, "Where did dad sit?" 😃😆😂
How has Bill Burr not been on this yet?
He doesn't give a shit.
This is definitely not Bills neck of the woods
Because he's a Netflix comedian.
I think this is more for minor comedians, right?
@@Alison_Faith what? Several of the Comedy Store headliners have done this. Bobby Lee, Rogan, Joey Diaz...
This shit was fuckn hilarious 😂😆😂😆😂😆 my childhood growing up in the 80's, middle child 😂😂😂😂.
One time in an IHOP my sister did this whole discussion trying to prove to me that we didn't have the same dad. My Dad was sitting next to me hungover, my Momma was letting it go on while laughing at it, and my sister was in college hitting all these points like a damn lawyer. I was in high school, yet 5% of me kinda believed her points.
Siblings, the only people in the world who make you feel bad and stupid all at one time.
This hit so close to home...I am the big brother!!
I was convinced I was adopted when I was 7 or 8 cos I was blonde/blue eyed and my 5 older siblings were all Spanish looking.. (plus 4 of my 5 them were just totally irritating, and I did not want to be related to them tbh😱)
Headmaster congratulated my dad on how well adjusted I was to it 😂😂😂
My dad showed me my birth certificate to prove I was not adopted and I said “That proves nothing, you can fake birth certificates.” 😂😂😂
As an adopted kid I can attest that our comeback to 'you're adopted' is almost always 'yeah because my parents wanted me, yours are stuck with you'
His wrap up....Gold!!!!
There is nothing like growing up in the 80's. The best decade for being a kid.
This guy is amazing. The entire audience was hooked on his every word, as was I.
One of the best in the series so far. Fantastic storytelling
That finisher... Goddamn...
As an adopted child, i'm probably gonna repeat that 50,000 times.
I love his genuine he got in the end, that'd how adopting should be.
Always ends with a happy smile :)
I’m laughing so hard I’m crying I couldn’t keep up with wiping away tears and my cheeks are cramping I can’t not smile now 😂😂
Steve is fucking hilarious, one of the only stories I've rewatched multiple times because it's just SO good
Being the little bro i can say the sibling rivalry was real when it came to videogames. So many fights, tears, and slammed controllers...those were the good days
1, if not THE best, This is Not Happening clips!! Hilarious Steve Simeone!
The your adopted card always shakes a younger sibling 😭🤣
Heartfelt and funny as hell!
You are the best and have restored my faith in Philly.
This cracks me up no matter how many times I’ve watched it!
My father used to be a machine owner and business operator, he was an engineer and electrical engineer, I miss those good old days when we used to drive all over the country servicing machines and collecting money. Then along came the home consoles, and thus was the beginning of the end of my home, my family, and the happy life I had. They're all dead, and never have I been so alone, so I created my own family. We play video games every day to remember what once was and was lost.
I'm so transported back to the eighties childhood, wonderful nostalgic storyteller!
I can relate to this so much. I was the big brother who used to torment my little brother playing video games
Love this guy. Total embodiment of 80's kids 🤣
Sorry had to reply to my own comment but...
MY OLDER BRO PULLED THE SAME ADOPTED BULLSHIT 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Okay last reply..it's in real-time, I swear
THAT FINISH!! OMG 😅😅😆😆😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣(Deademoji.exe)
Maybe they keep the intros because Ari has fun shooting them lmao 😂
One of my top 5 favorite This is Not Happening performance!!
This is sooooo fu*kin funny the shit siblings do😂😂😂 you gotta love it!
This was incredible
This is somewhat heartwarming to me, what a wonderfully told story.
It took me forever to find this again, thank god🙏🏼
His analogies are on point!!!
This is comedy gold!! His description of ‘crimes’ treating family is spot on!!!
Maxxing out the 80s references, nice!
My brother would tell me and my cousin were really sisters and we were adopted after being found in a stump.
My older brother did stuff like that to me, and did it relentlessly. To this day I have low self confidence (I'm 22) because of him. I don't really talk to him much anymore.
Jesse Olson I got older and about the same size as my brother and start beating his ass
Jesse Olson 😂😂😂😂
Yeah theirs a difference between teasing and full on bullying
You a pussy ass nigga
You don't need his approval for self confidence.
"Mother effin Mountain Dew"
The punching to the face line is the absolute truth. It'll cause a philosophical argument beyond the wildest dreams.
you guys realy need a WARNING DISTURBING CONTENT intro hahahahha sickos!!! : )
No punching in the face! That's so REAL!!!
Anyone else watching in 2019?
I enjoy his storytelling.
That Rick Flair intro was everything!
When my brother and I used to fight, I would always tell him that he was adopted and he would get so mad. Funny thing was that our stepdad adopted both of us. We oldest children are evil. He he he.
One of the most relatable This Is Not Happenings
I always love his stand up routines lol aside from being a clean comic for the most part, he's also just a really talented and unique comic and one who stands out from the crowd.
That very fucken LAST PART resonated with my damn soul. "Yea bitch, my parent actually went out and picked me out and you were a fucken accident" lmfao. HILAROIOUS.
the show starts at 1:08
save your life
Thank you!!!
The Sunshine Group e
The Sunshine Group
God bless you, what else was I gonna do with 1:08 mins of my life?? Some idiots try too hard to be funny. You are one of them.
fucking thank u that shit is horrid
Matthew Monson...this show has the best intro...ever!
...
there I was enjoying myself, reliveing the 80's, early 90's
and he drops that bomb.
I had to put it on pause, smoke a cig.
get my bearings.
Awesome storiy
PS
ppl really gotta stop dropping spoilers in the comment section
My mom made my brother help me train for the tennis team because he was really good and he told me we were gonna do a “stealth test” and took my racket away... The “stealth test” ended up him accurately and painfully directly serving tennis balls with full force at me and every time he hit me, I had to stand still. I came home that night with a bloodied nose and multiple bruises and a black eye 🙃 brothers are great lol
This guy is the BEST!!
My brother: You can’t tell my mom because she’s MY mom. You got adopted!
Me: oh um... I’m still telling mama.
(Me and my brother are 2 years apart and I’m younger)
family taught me unconditional hate
Brother wars!
That "Do you hear that? I think that's Queen warming up in the background. No time for losers because I am the champion!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I grew up with two big bros n they always fought n said the worst shit lol smh, especially the adoption thing! 😂🤣💯 I also woke up at 5 am mt dew n honey buns or cosmic brownies, plain chips 🤗🤗🤗
Why the fuck do they always have a snippet of the funniest part of the show in the beginning. It's just a spoiler.
Jaime T Right! I've learned to just fast forward through the snippet and the intro :/
Jaime T you going to jail bitch is the funniest part
Jaime T it’s not always the funniest part
Spoilers can make you appreciate the plot more.
Jaime T you must know nothing about film making
amazingly immersive storytelling!
Almost choked out laughing on this one 😂😂
Wow... he captures the late 70s, early 80s gaming experience. :D
This story is from my generation, as the oldest of three, divorced and remarried parents, I lived with my grandmother, (thats another story I was a handful) I didn’t live with my siblings, so I was always so happy to see my little sister and brother I not only loved them like a big brother should, I genuinely missed them, so I actively tried not to be a dick, therefore I myself from my own childhood can’t relate 100% other than the WWF and TV references, and the Atari feeding my pre adolescent addiction to videogames!
Move forward to my oldest son 1990, middle son 1992 my youngest 1998, when the Y2K era was in it’s waning days, I made a gameroom for my three well raised but 100% real and naturally typical raised on the banks of the Withlacoochie River hell raising but polite and tespectful boys, their antics were just like the story i just heard, but they lived it, all the time, my three mischievous-devious hammer-knockers! I was brought to a happier time in my life, my nest is empty, and Im proud of my adults, the baby is about to turn 21 in 5 days actually, this comic and his brothers were described like my three sons, fraternal bonds are strong, never forget the love a brother has, and when he’s mad enough to throw down on his brother, he’s in a scary state and no where near to being in a rational frame of mind!
Nothing can describe how effed up and at the same time so effing hilarious brotherly abuse and vengeance can be! I have hundreds of funny stories like these!
Golden times great story!
cool story
his little brother voice reenactment is so funny and cute.
💯💯💯💯💯 no hits to face. And dat adoption joke is all da way legit 🤣
There’s something so funny about a little boy raging and beating someone else while simultaneously screaming “HELP ME!” 🤣😂
LOOOVVEDD THIS! GOT ALL KINDS OF 80S FEELINGS BACK
This story was amazing
Love the music and movie references. He even slipped a Bronx Tale reference in for good measure haha.
As an only child I can listen to this stuff all day. Seems like I missed out 😂
I always love this guy, thank you!
Ready Player One principle: 80% references, 20% substance.
THE YOU'RE ADOPTED bit....no one ever
told me about it, but like every older brother I used it. It must be genetically embedded in to the oldest sibling. So horrible...it was easily the meanest joke I played on my sister closest to me in age. I'm surprised she still talks to me.