Fun fact about CXG: Rachel Bloom has depression and wrote it into the show, but for this episode, they actually approached mental health professionals to ask "what would you diagnose this character with?" and that's how Rebecca got diagnosed with BPD.
I always assumed maybe Rachel Bloom had BPD! I didn't really know how much of her mental illness was based on herself. This is so interesting that they actually asked people based on how they'd already written the character. I... Really extra love that.
@@idlevera omg I just watched it and loved it! I've had an OCD diagnosis for about a month, and while I don't have the specific type she has, "is that divisible by 7?" resonates _so hard_.
Not quite, Rachel Bloom actually made quite a bit of ranty music videos (not like that, though) which sort of portrayed someone with BPD and the other co-creator Aline Brosh McKenna saw them and reached out to about co-creating CXG with her (Keep in mind Aline always wanted to deconstruct the woman moving across the country for a guy that barely knows she exists archetype, and that fell into the borderline territory)
Paula is super, duper codependent with Rebecca, and you see it strongly in this episode. Their relationship had been getting healthier, but the codependency flares up strongly here. I'm really prone to codependent relationships and I was incredibly impressed (and disturbed) by how well it was shown.
@@andrewdunn8778 Yes, and - this is ultimately a compassionate and hopeful show, and Paula and Rebecca both achieve greater and greater wellness both individually and in the dynamics of their relationship.
I love the way the codependency is shown in this show. Compassionate, but it doesn't ignore how damaging that pattern can be. Paula is a great character and I think handled really well.
Paula really highlights how being supportive and comforting does not always mean you are being helpful, particularly if you are reinforcing, normalizing, or dismissing certain behaviors and problems
The first time I watched this episode I burst into tears when Rebecca got diagnosed with BPD. As someone with borderline, I've never felt so seen by a piece of media and this show means a lot to me.
I love how everyone had such wildly different reactions, mine was to beam wide and feel really excited about the fact they were taking an oft-non or misrepresented diagnosis in media and then feel really optimistic about how it would reframe the show on something I'd been expecting, as well as for the rewatch. The second time, I just broke down crying.
The stigmatizaton of bpd is very, very real. I got the diagnosis after a nearly successful suicide attempt in a psych hospital. I refused to believe it for a few years because of what I read online. When I finally started trying to get help I was refused treatment by multiple psychologists/psychiatrists. One even told me it wasn't of a matter IF I committed suicide it was WHEN. It was definitely helpful to hear as someone who was already actively suicidal 🙄 Then I started looking for therapists who specializes in it. I had to pay out of pocket but after going to a few and then a year and a half of therapy with one I really connected with we discovered I have bi-polar 2 AND BPD (along with substance abuse as I was self medicating for a long, long time). I tried a slew of different meds and finally found a combo that works for me and made it so I could really start the trauma work abd regulated some of the symptoms of insomnia and fluctuating energy. The tools I learned in therapy have also made me go from having severe bpd to moderate for only 3 or 4 of the traits. I'm sober for a year in two weeks after using from age 16-27. If anyone is reading this- you can get better. It took me going to multiple therapists and even then once I found one I really liked a few months to be truly vulnerable but you can find one who genuinely helps. You can eventually get to a place of feeling content and having more self regulation instead of immediately jumping to whatever unhealthy coping skills you've developed to help you survive. You can and will get better. We're not broken people undeserving of love. You do have the power inside yourself to live a happier, productive life- whatever your version of that may be. I'm starting school in the fall to become a therapist myself bc I want to help others the way mine has helped me. You will accomplish great things in your life- we are NOT that 10% statistic 🖤🖤
@@tyrennosaur what a great example of overcoming this illness she will be to others. I think that like being a drug and alcoholic counselor who once was an addict, the empathy from a former active BPD can truly understand and have compassion.
Thank you for your comment. It gives me hope. My sister was diagnosed with bpd and has been challenging for the family. She spiral down with alcohol, drugs and sex addiction and she was very close to get over dose or commit suicide several times. It's very difficult to put understand her my mom freaked out from a close call with an overdose and put her in rehab. The worst of it is that she has 2 boys and she is in no position to raise them. 😢😢😢
When she said "it's not something I have, it's something I am", and then followed up with "I'm broken", that hit so hard. It's the exact way I feel about my autism on bad days. However, with autism, I at least have the positive counterexample of the autism acceptance movement. On good days, I can look at my autism through a neurodiversity lens & frame it as "neurodivergence that has both drawbacks and benefits" rather than "something irreparably wrong with me". It feels like there isn't a similar positive counterexample for personality disorders: but maybe taking autism as an example and calling it "divergence" rather than "disorder" could be a step towards destigmatisation?
Another Autistic here, I felt that line as well. The "I'm broken" line I've felt in the past but haven't felt that way in quite awhile. I do see Autism as part of who I am not necessarily what I have. I don't see that as a bad thing just a different thing. Isn't BPD apart of neurodiversity as well? I thought it was but I could be mistaken
ur right, there are zero good role models for ppl w bpd. frankly… there isn’t much, if anything, good about having it. it’s fucked up and makes me feel awful about myself. frankly, especially after a ton of therapy, i’m my own role model.
@@morganburt2565 So glad she could be BPD rep for so many. It's so important especially to raise awareness and just have someone/something to relate to. I really like that you've become your own role model. That self-love is incredible!
Neurodivergency as a concept and as a movement is appliable to all psychological and neurological conditions. That's less because it lacks specificity, and more because the point of neurodivergency is that human beings are naturally different, the issue is some need specific types of support others might not need, and our society might stigmatize them even further because of our own notions of normalcy - which are made up social constructions - and our notions of functionality - which depend purely on what our economic and cultural systems "need" from us. It's useless to think of people as more or less normal, far more useful to find solutions on how to properly support those who need it most and can't have it. That's what neurodivergency means. I know all of this because I'm a PhD student in communication, language and culture studies and I'm currently studying ASD representation! I'm also autistic. :p
Something i like about the writing of the show is that they wrote the character of rebecca without knowing what her diagnosis would be, it's after a while that people started to reach Rachel Bloom saying "hey she looks like she has BPD" and after consulting with professionals they decided for it to be her official diagnosis, it jas the effect of making her an actual character who happens to struggle with BPD instead of being used as the stereotype, paragon and whole role model of what a person with bpd should look like. This show is one of my favourites, not only for it's writing but mostly for the effort and respect shown to the subjects it chose to approach
It further shows how complex BPD is. Rebecca has many wonderful attributes. Plus she also is struggling in ways that need compassion. Plus, all the other characters are also flawed and aren't in any way perfect or without emotional issues! In short LIFE IS MESSY!
I have BPD and when I watched this episode I had a feeling Rebecca had the same as me. I cried so much when they said she has BPD. CXG is my comfort blanket, whenever my BPD flares up, I watch this show and it makes me feel less alone and less broken. This show is a TRUE GEM.
"Stigma doesn't really come from the words it comes from the people and the..." YES, THANK YOU! As a disabled person I hear lots of suggested new terms for disabled people when as you say until people get comfortable with our existence and disability itself the word is just gonna keep being rethought
Within 6 months, Kids are gonna start saying "I think he's neurodivergent..... hahahHhahah" all as a joke. As we change the words, people will simply just change their jokes. It's a waste of time.
When I got diagnosed with borderline personality after years of being treated for depression, anxiety, etc. All I can think was that's the crazy mental illness. Every other woman that has killed her husband and her boyfriend has it. I'm going to turn out to be Jodi Arias or something. Eventually I learned to accept it, but to this day every time there's some sort of trial involving a woman doing some horrible crime, I hear the dreaded words, "psychiatrists suspect that the defendant may have borderline personality disorder", and then I want to scream ....
it’s such a fucked up disorder, speaking as someone who has it. like, on the inside i’m scared and just want certainty and stability, but on the outside i just come across as Bad and Immature. people only see those murderers and it’s fucked up, not to mention those people that went that far were probably deeply untreated and could’ve lived better lives w access to treatment.
@@morganburt2565 you know, I honestly think that the worst part for me is knowing that that hole inside me, the one that makes me act so desperate and feel so out of control sometimes, will never really go away. I've spent my whole life looking for fulfillment outside myself, in a partner who would love me because my father never did. That empty feeling inside you never really goes away. You just learn how to deal with it, and you learn not to try to fill it with people or drugs or things. The second hardest thing I have to deal with is the impulsivity. I constantly struggle with not spewing my emotions out of my mouth the instant I feel them. I need to keep mindful constantly that I need to sit with things a minute so that I can be reasonable. I'm lucky that at least I have a good support system, especially after the whole covid thing where I was pretty isolated. Everybody has some sort of struggle in their lives. I mean, it could be much worse. I don't always feel that way, but it's true. You know
Yeah. I hate to say it could be a deal breaker in dating cause of it. Like what you said a lot of guys got killed by their women who have them. It’s scary. 😢
I really just want you reacting to EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of this show. I can't be alone in this. Dr. Elliot is just so thoughtful, and trustworthy, and has a sense of humor about what people go through, he's like a cogent support man!
Wouldn't normally say this about a show based around mental health, but Rebecca's mix of stunned disappointment and sadness as she realizes that she's hit all nine entries on the BPD checklist is... way too real. It's the worst empty sensation to get question after question tossed your way and feel helpless as each of your answers is some version of "Yes". Bit of a personal take, but the worst part about my diagnosis was that I already knew what the criteria were related to thanks to other sources, and when my therapist started listing them off, my heart straight up broke halfway through and I got pissed off that it was too accurate. Might have even called her out and told her that I wanted to quit our sessions if that was the case. Got to love the self-destruction of preparing for abandonment due to stigma by causing it yourself! Thank goodness she pushed back like she did. The good news is that BPD can be treated with the right help, and it's nowhere near as hopeless of a diagnosis as it can feel in the moment. You just need a professional who's specifically trained in dealing with the sometimes extreme nature of it. Personally haven't started DBT yet, but too many people have talked highly of it to say that it doesn't work, so it's at least worth giving it a shot.
The fact that BPD/EUPD is still considered 'untreatable' is pretty strange to me, considering that of all cluster B personality disorders, histrionic and BPD/EUPD sound like they would be the easier ones to treat, or maybe the patient groups more likely to seek treatment.
It’s definitely treatable, there is potential to move from a fixed personality with a lot of practice rewiring the brain. It just takes time and constant reconditioning. Dialectical behavioral therapy is amazing. Even with a cptsd diagnosis and bpd, I worked my ass off for years and I am nothing like the bpd self I was my whole life. Everything has changed and I hope to keep learning to help others. It’s possible, the brain is malleable, just requires so much conditioning.
@@Saavycupcake that’s really wonderful to hear. Thank you for sharing, you’ve given me hope that I can get better too even if it takes me a long time. I’m glad you’ve gotten to a better place, I know it took a lot of work and I hope you’re proud of yourself ☺️
The show puts a lot of nuance on that - Rebecca asks Doctor Internet and gets that "untreatable" reaction, but Dr. Damn definitely considers her BPD to be treatable.
"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink", the reason isn't that DBT isn't effective, it's that the "stigma" is entirely justified. Most people with BPD are hyper narcissistic, extremely manipulative, antisocial, anti-authority, manchilden, professional victim crypto-sociopaths who usually only engage with therapy, to justify their own eternal victim complex and provide a justifying excuse for their horrific, abusive, insane behaviour. This is one of the main reasons that therapists won't even try treat BPD, the vast majority of their BPD patients are just looking for that victim reaffirming excuse and will drop out the moment they get it, or even worse, start screwing around with the therapists lives for a laugh.
I’m in love with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and how they deal with everything. As a person with BPD I strongly suspected that Rebecca has it and was not surprised when the series got to this point. Some of her behaviour is a bit stereotypical, but I feel like that’s for the sake of comedy. I felt vicarious compassion while I watched how Rebecca was treated. Like you said, people with BPD don’t get a lot of that and it was quite emotional for me. I’m in the UK and find that people outside of the medical profession still generally call it BPD, I find Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder hilarious, it sounds made up, which I guess all names for things are. My psychology lecturers still refer to it as BPD, which isn’t a great name either, but they know less about BPD than I do so I’ll let them off. I love how introspective Rebecca can be and ultimately where the series ends up. I’m a queer musical theatre nerd, so this show is perfect for me.
As to the stereotypical nature ofhher behavior, I remember an interview of Rachel Bloom saying that they actually worked backwards with Rebecca's symptoms: they started following the narratives tropes for a rom com protagonist (the love triangles, stalking Josh, etc.), and then actually asked real consultants on psychopathology what their diagnosis for such a person would be. I love that process, because the transition from Rebecca's romanticized view of the world to one more grounded in her mental health is also the transition of the audience, from a stereotypical view of what's "crazy" or "romantic" to something more nuanced.
@@bokarndiaye323 your comment makes it seem like they talked to those consultants earlier than they did. It wasn't until the planning for season 3 began that they started talking to psychological consultants about Rebecca's diagnosis.
@@ahumanbeingfromtheearth1502 That's what I meant by "following the tropes first" - although you're correct that it can make it seem like they had the idea to consult psychologists from the get go, which they didn't
Huh, didn't realize Paula was a bit enabling with Rebecca. But augh! So excited to see more reactions to Crazy Ex-girlfriend. I hope you react to more of the songs, especially "This Session is Going to be Different", "Sexy French Depression", "The Darkness", and "You Stupid Bitch". Always interested in hearing what other psychiatrists think and react to CXGF
This show handles mental illness so well. As someone with anxiety and depression, it really hit me hard when she took the pills. I cried until I couldn't breathe. That episode would be a good one to look at.
I watched that episode with my adult daughter, and watching it and talking about it was honestly one of the most emotionally intense days we've had together.
I was originally thought to have bpd, was told I have "quiet eupd" , but further sessions showed I'm actually autistic and have complex ptsd. When I developed non-epileptic seizures, I again got the term bpd thrown around as an excuse to not treat me. Although I don't have bpd, I have felt the stigma as "you're just crazy and so you're faking everything".
I have OCD, Anorexia Nervosa, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder and am getting an ASD screening. This show was such a comfort to me, as it deals with mental illness perfectly. Thank you for watching more.
I wouldn't mind hearing you talk about other PD's, I'm currently seeking an avoidant diagnosis, and there isn't a lot of discussion about it compared to other personality disorders 😩
I got diagnosed with APD about five years ago, and the treatment has really helped me - especially compared to what felt like going in circles with therapists who were only focusing on what was assumed to be a typical case of burnout. I had never heard of it before, and you never hear it talked about compared to some other personality disorders. Maybe it's not as "flashy" for TH-cam? I wonder.
I am beyond thrilled to see you react to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend again. The first video of yours that I watched was your reaction to "Anti-Depressants Are So Not A Big Deal". Obviously I immediately subscribed and binge watched all your videos. What I love about this show is that it doesn't dumb things down for the audience, instead it encourages us to dig deep and analyze everything. On each re-watch I discover something new, like how they use the songs to clue us in on what she is thinking and feeling. I honestly struggle with recommending specific episodes because they are all so good and vital to the story. The season 2 finale is what truly started the spiral that eventually led to her suicide attempt so I think that is a good episode to watch. During the entire episode you just want to reach through the screen and give Rebecca a big hug.
I've never seen Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, but I related so much to those emotions from her finding out she's been diagnosed with BPD, to then looking it up on the internet. The same thing happened to me in 2000. I went from relief that we were on the right track, to then opening up my Netscape browser and saying "Omg, I've just been given a scarlet letter". In 2009, I was finally diagnosed correctly with Bipolar Disorder with borderline traits. That made perfect sense to me, because I definitely had some symptoms of borderline - it's just that the bipolar part was totally ignored.* But what was so sad is that I was _relieved_ to be diagnosed with an objectively more difficult to treat disorder, because there's less stigma with bipolar than there is with BPD. And this whole "BPD is difficult to treat" stigma is bs, imho. I went through DBT (a gold-standard treatment for BPD) from 2000-2002 and it was so, so helpful. Hell, it got me through another 7 years of untreated bipolar and an alcoholic relapse without my brain trying to kill me. Yeah, I'd say it works. Honestly, I think everyone could benefit from DBT, lol. I mean, what's not to love? You learn mindfulness, emotional regulation, boundary setting, self-soothing techniques, radical acceptance, how to minimize black-and-white thinking, etc. Pretty sure everyone needs help with at least one of those 😅 * Now, 22 years after that initial diagnosis, it's changed to Bipolar, PTSD, & ADHD - but no borderline. Part of that is because DBT skills help. Another is that BPD symptoms tend to subside with age. Another is having a caring psychiatrist who's gone over my history in detail. Another is getting the correct treatment for the Bipolar. Another is being sober since 2010, which tends to help clear up the picture, lol. And another is that we know so much more about how brains work than we did in 2000.
I love this comment. Thank you for sharing this! And this show is my favourite show. I have seen a lot of shows that were good or great, but this one was the best. So real. Like no or so little flaws.
Watch the whole series from the beginning! They do so much in terms of Rebecca’s mental health journey as well as deconstructing stereotypes and cliches Especially within the LGBT community
If you're interested in watching more Crazy Ex Girlfriend episodes, "I Need A Break" is a great one that involves things like relapses/setbacks in treatment (including what seems like a manic episode), as well as coming to terms with the need to let past self-destructive coping mechanisms to and instead commit to accepting help.
One more: I think it would br interesting to look at how Valencia reacts to all this. I went through something similar and was being weirdly cavalier until the person was better. It hit me all at once and I literally collapsed sobbing in a parking lot. Different people have very different reactions.
One time I saw a doctor (multiple times) and when I got my discharge paperwork I’m flipping through and see my diagnosis is listed as autism spectrum disorder. If I hadn’t read the discharge summary I literally never would have known. I wasn’t supposed to have any follow up appointments with the doctor, and as far as I know she didn’t speak with my outpatient doctor. This has actually happened to me multiple times and I find it so strange.
I have never identified harder with a character on TV as I do with Rebecca. My latest review had "traits of EUPD" on one of the axis...axes? axies? *shrug* Thank you for explaining how easy it is to misdiagnose these conditions too. Just wish NHS waiting lists weren't so long when it comes to mental health.
I have a problem with just agreeing with experts without adding much, so I actually got misdiagnosed with BPD when what I have is OCD and ADHD. Seeing this episode is actually what put me on the path to getting a second opinion, since there was more disconnect between me and Rebecca's experience than I expected. I had never approached a psychiatrist about OCD or ADHD before and when I did, I actually had a more nuanced conversation. Before, I just wanted them to give me a label and some meds so I just assumed whatever they said was right, but I've realized that even if they're experts they can't know everything that's going on and may assume things because I don't speak up. I'm still working on this problem but I've become a lot more knowledgeable about my actual symptoms which makes it easier to talk to medical professionals.
The stigma associated with the naming of conditions really resonates with me, not just in mental health conditions but physical ones too such as a condition having the phraseology of being "benign" which can often feel condesending and invalidating of the pain that may be caused due to the more common useage beig that it's not serious rather than not caused by other conditions.
I spent years in crisis, in and out of inpatient psychiatric care before a psychiatrist finally had the idea to test me for BPD. The process for getting the diagnosis was overwhelming and drawn out but once I had it things finally started to get better. It was a huge relief to finally get some answers and understand all of my diagnoses. New Zealand has a DBT program for people with BPD which took 4 months on a waiting list to get into. It helped a little but my alcoholism kept getting the way so I had to move mountains to find the right program for me. Every day is still a battle but I’m doing so much better now and have been back working and functioning in society for 5 years. I am very fortunate that I haven’t experienced any stigma (I didn’t even know it existed), possibly because nobody seems to know much about it here, including a lot of the mental health professionals I’ve seen!
Thank you for this video. I was diagnosed with BPD nearly 10 years ago and it’s so rare that I find a video that’s not super judgmental for those of us with this diagnosis. BPD is soooo misunderstood and while it would take a whole lot longer to truly get into what it is, this does a good job. BPD has horrible stigmas attached to it and this kinda helps clear some of those. Thank you!
I love how they handled BPD and the diagnosis in CEG. So well done. And honest and real. Never seen bpd nailed so well besides Amelia Shepherd in Grey’s Anatomy but she’s never actually diagnosed. Love the vid x love you xx Awesomeness
What. I'm processing and trying to think through this. I adore Amelia but I've never thought of Amelia in terms of BPD. I have thought of Allison on Pretty Little Liars in light of BPD... And Klaus on The Vampire Diaries and The Originals.
I just started thinking about Amelia more and I'm not sure i see how she has BPD. She isn't full of rage or other lashing out at others. She also isn't internally directing her reactions like with self harm. She seems like someone more likely to leave than a lot of people with BPD are, since they're so afraid of abandonment they will just cling harder not leave first. Idk if i really see it. To me Amelia has ADHD and tons of trauma history and big feelings but i don't see the BPD really. Other than sure a fear of abandonment after having experienced so much of it already in her life.
I had a dx of BPD when underweight. I moved to a new psych who claimed it was unethical as my personality was masked by my low weight (due to anorexia) I've not a diagnosis as autistic. When I had the dx of BPD i was denied physical health care for pain managment and other things. I found it closed doors and gave staff an excuse to claim I didnt need help or hospital care when in crisis. I ended up being admited and discharged within 24hrs only to get readmitted. I really benefitted from longer stays
As someone with BPD, MDD and PTSD, I really appreciate the way that you approached this episode and acknowledged the aspects of psychiatry and psychology that need to change when addressing BPD! 👍🏻 I really related to the scene where she Googles her diagnosis and is totally overwhelmed by the stigma and negative prognosis that makeup the majority of info surrounding this disorder. It's too much to take in. It makes your outlook going forward seem hopeless. That being said, I thought your references to hope, hope, hope we're entirely fitting and appreciated.
I watched this show and in real time was shocked by her diagnosis because i have never felt so connected to a character. i have been diagnosed previously with depression, general anxiety disorder, adhd, insomnia, and bipolar disorder so watching her struggles and new diagnosis really makes me wonder if thats something i could have. but there isn't any mental health professionals in my area that i can see at all
People move to a new city to be closer to good treatment options for a physical illness all the time, and I wish mental illnesses were commonly seen that same way. I completely understand if it's economically or otherwise impossible for you to move, but I hope it's an option you've seriously considered and could find support for. In this decade, there are also increasingly helpful options for remote therapy, another thing I hope you're able to seriously consider.
I will throw all my money into getting you to do more full episodes of this show because its gold and your reactions are too. I hardcore related to Rebecca in the wanting my Psychologist to tell me the Psychiatrist was wrong and mean (simply because he did his job) and I have actually ghosted my Psychiatrist because BPD is such a daunting diagnosis
Diagnosis like this can be so bizarre. I had suspected I had BPD for months before my diagnosis but I still spiraled and panicked the way she did the second it was real
It was strange, my diagnosis of BPD actually gave me a lot of hope, because for years I was being treated for depression and anxiety with no improvement. Every time I tried to suggest there was something else going on, I was dismissed. When I finally got my diagnosis, I felt for the first time like I knew what I was dealing with and had hope. It explained why meds weren’t working, why typical therapy wasn’t working despite hard work on my part. It helped me make sense of my experiences and gave me a direction to move forward with treatment.
Fun/interesting fact: When Rebecca says to the doctor -something like- "So I'm not depressed, or bipolar, or OCD, as I've been told so many times?", it's probably a nod to the fact that the actress who plays her, Rachel Bloom (who is also the co-creator of the show), actually has OCD, and that's part of her reason to create this show.
BPD is horrible but you can recover from it. 7 yrs ago when i was diagnosed with it i had all the criteria for the condition. Now, after lots of therapy i only have traits. My emotions are still intense but armed with adaptive coping skills and tons of insight i manage it well enough to go back to work after 5 years. I never thought id work again. Having a job is good for your mental health 😊
I got misdiagnosed with BPD. I definitely had a stream of people leave me in life and I expected them to leave for reasons I could not explain. Turns out I have ASD, ADHD, developmental trauma, and have symptoms of alexithymia. The main reason why I suspected it was wrong was because I actually feel safer and more comfortable being in my own company than around others. It also didn't explain why I couldn't figure out how people felt (or how I feel for that matter) as easily as they expected me to or how people just knew how they felt.
I couldn’t continue watching this show and I’m grateful to see your reaction to this aspect of it. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and while the diagnosis itself was painful to receive it also made a lot of sense. Oddly enough it was the therapist I was seeing at the time who invalidated the diagnosis … even bringing in the DSM at one point to walk through the criteria. To be fair they were graduate students, and it still made accepting this diagnosis that much more difficult. Thankfully, I am more versed now in sifting through clinicians to find outpatient treatment teams who are supportive. It’s a funky set of symptoms AND I’ve noticed so much relief through independently learning DBT skills when I didn’t have access to a program, surrounding myself with positive people, and staying in treatment.
As someone in a language-related profession, I love that you called out what happens when you change the words but not what people have been doing with those words.
I have BPD and I was difficult to treat. I was dishonest and manipulative with my professionals. It was difficult for them to figure out when I was actually a danger to myself and when I was not, because I had told them many times I was suicidal when I wanted something from them, but it just was manipulation. So when I was actually suicidal and told them I needed to be admitted or I wouldn't make the end of the day, they didn't take it seriously. I stood on a bridge but police talked me down and I wanted to accept help then. But they arrested me harshly and put me in a cell for hours till the psychiatrist arrived to evaluate me. Those hours were traumatizing and made me switch back to no, I don't want help if this is what help looks like. Every cop there was annoyed with me, making me feel even more guilty about being alive and being a bother. So I decided I had to get out ASAP so I could kill myself properly. I had hours to prepare and to calm down. Manipulated the psychiatrist into thinking I was fine to go home, so he let me go. A few hours later I actually jumped from the same bridge and broke my neck and back. Fun times. Partly paralyzed, years of recovery. But the intense therapy in the rehabilitation home I was in for 6 months helped me. It's been years and my BPD is under control. I actually do not experience all symptoms anymore, it's less than 5. If I would get diagnosed now, it wouldn't be with BPD. So am I cured? No, it's a personality disorder, it's always somewhere in there. But I got so much tools and behaviour modification to deal, and overtime my feelings changed to the learned 'right' behaviours. I don't experience many off the BPD extreme feelings anymore. I had crazy abandonment issues, crazy money spending, impulsivity, jealousy etc. Those are all gone. When my friend just texts me OK as an answer I don't go into the rabbit hole anymore of 'why is she answering with only OK? Is she mad with me? Did I do something? Doesnt she like me anymore? Is there someone else?' etc. It just doesn't cross my mind anymore. I do battle anxiety still, but I'm not depressed anymore, I don't self harm, I don't explode with anger. I'm actually really happy. And I've never been happy. But treatment only had effect when accepted my diagnosis and was honest with the professionals. But before I could do that I had to be honest with myself first. No more hiding behind lies I thought or told myself and also believed. And it helped that the friends I was co dependent off kinda left me to my own devices after that. They just couldn't cope anymore. But it forced me to stop relying on them and to stop manipulate and mentally abuse them. There was a consequence to my actions. I finally saw how much I hurt them and that it wasn't them being toxic, but that it was me.
As a psychodynamic therapist, this has been amazing to see. When I got my Bipolar 2 diagnosis, I went through similar panic. This was a lovely episode of CEG. I know I am not the behaviorist some people are but we also do good work. Splitting and Transference is true for all of us...
I must chime in that also- as a script, Rebecca is supposed to be able to tolerate and accept herself with BPD, to give representation for people with BPD to realize that they are allowed to accept themselves, rather than digging themselves into an even deeper hole of dispair that they already might have. Wonderful video, Elliot!
Definitely I've met some psychiatrists who I wish would watch this episode, if not the whole show. I had one who tried to diagnose me with BPD several years ago and when I asked her reasoning she said it was because I cried in her office. She was my psychiatrist. I only even found out that she is diagnosed me because all of my doctors suddenly treated me like crap and I couldn't figure out why, and then my therapist pointed out that BPD was in my problem list. I asked for a second opinion and she wouldn't refer me, so I ended up having to go to the patient advocate. This was at a VA hospital. The patient advocate got me a second opinion from a diagnostic professional, but the psychiatrist who had diagnosed me insisted on sitting in on my appointment with him. I went ahead and showed him the full scale psychological batteries that I've had in my life, briefly explained my life history and why I had "incidents" in the past. He said during the appointment that in his professional opinion I did not have BPD, and she tried to argue with him. She kept trying to convince him that he needed to go home and think about it overnight before making a decision. He shut her down and said that he already had made his decision and luckily I didn't have to see her again. They also took it off of my problem list. Now I am diagnosed with bipolar 1, ADHD, and PTSD/CPTSD, and looking into an autism diagnosis. I also have fetal alcohol spectrum disorder though, so that might be the source of a lot of stuff, most mental health professionals don't seem to know how to deal with that at all.
My psych teacher diagnosed me with bpd because I was homeless and told him I don't feel any stability or security... BECAUSE I WAS HOMELESS. Somehow he managed to convince me I had bpd. After I was properly "diagnosed" as either adhd or adhd with cptsd and treated with Concerta I immediately understood what I needed to properly function. When I confronted him he played dumb saying that he never diagnosed people with bpd in such young ages (I was just 18) until 22-24 years old depending on severity. Big lie I ended up finding out. He was teaching at least OK things, so maybe us future docs will do as we were told not as they did.
Crazy ex girlfriend hits hard. I grew up with a toxic/narcissist mother so even if i don't have bdp disorder i am feel seen in media. In the end crazy ex girlfriend helped me to understand my bisexuality and I understand more my brother, who got diagnosed as bpd.
The stigma around EUPD/BPD is terrible. Here in the UK I was told by a psychiatrist that they were "surprised" I hadn't been "misdiagnosed as having BPD", and inferring that if I continued to ask for help for my problems with dissociation and memory loss, that mis(!)diagnosis was a possibility. I ended up discharged from the NHS mental health team instead as I dropped the issue, and thankfully was able to get therapy privately with a clinical psychologist who helped me deal with the worst of my dissociation (stemming from cPTSD and lifelong severe depression). EUPD is very much weaponised as a diagnosis to give to anyone a psychiatrist would rather not deal with it seems, and you're left either with no help because you leave, or no help because you end up with the wrong diagnosis. I've been in and out of the NHS for my mental health for about 15 years now, and it feels like it has gotten so much worse. Mostly due to cuts, but older psychiatrists like that certainly don't help.
11:30 that black and white thinking is so hard to get passed. I thought that I've been doing better with not doing black and white thinking but my last session with my therapist, it was made obvious that I still have that perspective on not just my relationships but on life in general
you should watch "Please Like Me" and "Everything's Gonna Be Okay" they are both shows produced by Josh Thomas who is a gay man recently diagnosed with autism and he's starring in both, they are such awesome shows. Crazy Ex Girlfriend is one of my favorite shows with these two. In Please Like Me, Josh Thomas is playing the main character whose name is Josh, lol. Josh's mom in the show has bipolar disorder and is attempting suicide in the first episode. The show is so hilarious and touching at the same time, I have seen no other like it. There are so many scenes that are just beautiful and so much to laugh about, I'm crying just thinking about it because I am a very depressed lesbian.
I like the new background and Raja (Roger) 😜 I've suspected my mom has BPD for a really long time. I don't think she will seek treatment though 🥺 It's incredibly frustrating and triggers codependency behaviors in me that I've been trying to correct.
I’m 18 and I was misdiagnosed with O.D.D. ,I.E.D. ,O.C.D, major depressive disorder suspected bipolar suspected ADHD developmental delays, personality disorders. Final diagnosis at 18 years old Autism spectrum disorder I had developmental delays no social skills hated people sensory issues anger issues constantly bullied all of my life even my psychiatrist went how didn’t someone see this it is so obvious.
Ive always been a bit frightened to watch this show because ive been unfortunately emotionally abused by a partner who had bpd and i..... always worry about bpd being used as an /excuse/ for what she did to me 😅 i have nothing against bpd but it was always used as a scapegoat for the manipulation and so maybe im illogically frightened of them
That's a fair concern. Rebecca is the protagonist and gets away with a lot of immoral and even criminal behavior, much the way TV comedy protagonists always do. A lot of people watching this show are impressed with how complex Rebecca's character is, and how the show does not excuse or forgive her bad behavior, but continues to empathize with her as a struggling person. For you, it might be enough to watch the song "I'm a Good Person" (legally available from The CW here on TH-cam). If you want to watch a series about how that character goes from angrily demanding to be seen as "Good" towards helpfully doing the work to actually be more good, you might enjoy this show.
When I got my diagnosis I was really happy because it validated everything I had been feeling and experiencing. Now after almost two years of treatment I'm in a much, much better place ❤
amazing breakdown, really clear and understandable! Only opinion i split on is i've never been truly "diagnosed", my clinical psychologist just advised what she thought may fit and booked me into the relevant treatment to see if it helped, then adjusted. Which kinda makes sense, there's so much crossover in diagnoses and although you may not HAVE something, a coping method still may work for you!
I love CXG and I love your reactions to it. I hope you react to "The Darkness" (and the entire episode the song was featured) when Rebecca falls back into her bad habits after she thought she had everything together.
my sibling has BPD and I've been trying to understand her better for years now. If there are any books you can recommend, please let me know (that goes for anyone). I've read 'I hate you, don't leave me' and that's pretty much it (it was all I could find at a local bookstore). This is really interesting though. I had no idea this show had such well-informed representation of someone with BPD, I'll definitely be checking it out now
I love that you're doing another video on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend given it's one of my favorite shows, but I keep finding myself distracted by Auntie Roger looking stunning in the background
I never got round to watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (i watched the first episode and quit) but damn, her talking about the reasoning for trying to end things feels so real and relatable and exactly how i would describe my own feelings
If you do another episode of Crazy Ex Girlfriend I would suggest Season 4 Episode 12 "I Need a Break". I think it would be very interested to get your analysis
SO Relatable! I got diagnosed with BPD at the beginning of 2021 after years of on again off again therapy with a different psychologist where I had not been correctly diagnosed (despite meeting all 9 on the list), even after being hospitalised. I was glad when I got my diagnosis and everything made sense. Spent over a year in weekly therapy beginning at the start of 2021. Out in the wild trying out what I have learnt. It isn't going perfectly, my father died abroad 10 days before my birthday in November 2021. With the help of medication prescribed by an *amazing* psychiatrist, who I was lucky enough to become a patient of, I have been able to hold down a job and am moving along in my career. There is hope. It won't be perfect and the road is longer than you sometimes think and sometimes it feels like there is no end in sight. However, if you truly want to get better there is help. Unfortunately help is not attainable to a lot of people, so if you have the option to get help, that is a privilege and you should be pulling every lever possible in your recovery. Getting the correct help is so important.
I would absolutely love to receive this kind of mental health care!!! But sadly after a crisis I just get sent home with numbers to call to look for therapy. Maybe they have amazing treatment in West Covina but this is totally unrealistic in my experience
The show is certainly unrealistic in this and many other ways (it matters a lot that money isn't a real issue for Rebecca), and it really sucks that most people with a challenge to their mental health (and many people with a challenge to their physical health) have to take a second full time unpaid job as an advocate for themselves. You deserve the health care you are not getting, and I really hope you manage to find a path towards it.
After watching your previous video about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, I watched the first two seasons and absolutely loved it. Sadly, I'd already canceled my Netflix subscription by then and I only had two weeks to watch as much as I could. I wasn't able to binge it like other shows, because I found I had some strong emotional reactions to a lot of what happened in Rebecca's life. I live with EUPD/BPD and OCPD, and I found it very distressing to watch Rebecca's more impulsive actions. I could identify with her impulses to act, but then my inner controller (OCPD) would kick in and shame Rebecca (and me) for her actions. It was really tough but I learned a lot about myself in the process. I was diagnozed with EUPD and OCPD about five years ago, and for me the dx came as a relief. It explained why I struggled with so many things in my life. With the help of therapy and meds, my life has improved so much, and I've even begun to see my emotional sensitivity as a positive thing sometimes. My symptoms got worse after my mother died about a year ago, though, and now I'm waiting for an appointment with a psychiatrist to see what we could do to help me. My mental health nurse recommended a book based on DBT, and I found it super helpful. It has helped me navigate through layers of emotions and thoughts. I'm hoping to get to talk to a DBT specialist some day.
The Diagnosis song always hits me hard because after years I feel like I still don't know what's going on. And I wish I had that. Man, CXG was so fucking good.
love watching your reacts! another interesting show might be shameless, they have a lot of characters with different mental illnesses so plenty of stuff to react to
When the doc was reading out the symptoms, I had Rachel's reaction. I always felt I'm so much like her but then I was like damn this is getting real. So I went to a psychologist and I got diagnosed with bpd as well
Just before Paula and Rebecca barge in on Dr. Akopian, she is trying to talk to Kevin about how he mentioned last week that his mother shot his father in cold blood in front of him on his birthday. Then he says he's moved passed it and he's happy all the time and walks out submitting the room to Rebecca. I still wonder sometimes about that. This is Kevin, the manager of the bar that Greg and Heather used to work at.
One of my biggest core beliefs is centered around abandonment, my countless experiences with it, and my ever-looming fear of it. After 38 years, I've adapted a lifestyle that just pares down all of my interactions and relationships into pure necessity (i.e. doctors, therapists) in order to avoid abandonment. For years I was convinced I had BPD (and even had a diagnosis along the way) but was recently told by a therapist that she doesn't think that's what I have. Dr, is FoA a specific hallmark of any other disorders or just a common symptom of a lot of things?
Fear of abandonment sounds like it could also be part of rejection sensitivity dysphoria, which is commonly a big part of ADHD and is a trauma response to being bullied/rejected a lot by peers in childhood. From what I've seen, I think the big difference is that people with BPD tend to typically have unstable relationships and an unstable sense of self (talking about "I don't know who I am" or "I feel empty") whereas people with ADHD typically have a strong sense of self and stable relationships with most people, but heightened emotional responses (lots of tears, but fewer breakups).
Okay so now I really gotta see if I can get someone to take my concerns seriously Like watching this series, I learned about BPD for the first time and also got me to research. For the first time I had an idea of what it might be But I also have been struggling with am I ADHD or am I on the Autism spectrum (which not only being female tends to not be diagnosed but I wasn't allowed to seek mental help) But then you just pointed out that BPD tends to get labeled as being one or both of the others and I just... Yeah I really gotta get to the doctor Rebecca expresses and vocalizes so much of what I thought I was just crazy for feeling or thinking. It just felt so amazing to feel so seen. Even if she did things I was screaming not to even though I've definitely thought it
Fun fact about CXG: Rachel Bloom has depression and wrote it into the show, but for this episode, they actually approached mental health professionals to ask "what would you diagnose this character with?" and that's how Rebecca got diagnosed with BPD.
I always assumed maybe Rachel Bloom had BPD! I didn't really know how much of her mental illness was based on herself. This is so interesting that they actually asked people based on how they'd already written the character. I... Really extra love that.
To add to this: she's also talked extensively about her OCD and has a music video on it from her pre-CXGF days on her channel (The OCDance!)
@@idlevera omg I just watched it and loved it! I've had an OCD diagnosis for about a month, and while I don't have the specific type she has, "is that divisible by 7?" resonates _so hard_.
@@VioletEmerald They also approached GLAAD about "Gettin Bi" to dispel harmful myths about bisexuality.
Not quite, Rachel Bloom actually made quite a bit of ranty music videos (not like that, though) which sort of portrayed someone with BPD and the other co-creator Aline Brosh McKenna saw them and reached out to about co-creating CXG with her
(Keep in mind Aline always wanted to deconstruct the woman moving across the country for a guy that barely knows she exists archetype, and that fell into the borderline territory)
Paula is super, duper codependent with Rebecca, and you see it strongly in this episode. Their relationship had been getting healthier, but the codependency flares up strongly here. I'm really prone to codependent relationships and I was incredibly impressed (and disturbed) by how well it was shown.
"The least you can do is be honest with your mother...I mean friend!"
The entire show basically happens because Paula is bored.
@@andrewdunn8778 Yes, and - this is ultimately a compassionate and hopeful show, and Paula and Rebecca both achieve greater and greater wellness both individually and in the dynamics of their relationship.
I love the way the codependency is shown in this show. Compassionate, but it doesn't ignore how damaging that pattern can be. Paula is a great character and I think handled really well.
Paula really highlights how being supportive and comforting does not always mean you are being helpful, particularly if you are reinforcing, normalizing, or dismissing certain behaviors and problems
The first time I watched this episode I burst into tears when Rebecca got diagnosed with BPD. As someone with borderline, I've never felt so seen by a piece of media and this show means a lot to me.
I feel the same!!! For once they didn’t make bpd seem “crazy” or violent
I love how everyone had such wildly different reactions, mine was to beam wide and feel really excited about the fact they were taking an oft-non or misrepresented diagnosis in media and then feel really optimistic about how it would reframe the show on something I'd been expecting, as well as for the rewatch. The second time, I just broke down crying.
❤️
Honestly I had never seen in it any media before
The stigmatizaton of bpd is very, very real. I got the diagnosis after a nearly successful suicide attempt in a psych hospital. I refused to believe it for a few years because of what I read online. When I finally started trying to get help I was refused treatment by multiple psychologists/psychiatrists. One even told me it wasn't of a matter IF I committed suicide it was WHEN. It was definitely helpful to hear as someone who was already actively suicidal 🙄
Then I started looking for therapists who specializes in it. I had to pay out of pocket but after going to a few and then a year and a half of therapy with one I really connected with we discovered I have bi-polar 2 AND BPD (along with substance abuse as I was self medicating for a long, long time). I tried a slew of different meds and finally found a combo that works for me and made it so I could really start the trauma work abd regulated some of the symptoms of insomnia and fluctuating energy. The tools I learned in therapy have also made me go from having severe bpd to moderate for only 3 or 4 of the traits. I'm sober for a year in two weeks after using from age 16-27.
If anyone is reading this- you can get better. It took me going to multiple therapists and even then once I found one I really liked a few months to be truly vulnerable but you can find one who genuinely helps. You can eventually get to a place of feeling content and having more self regulation instead of immediately jumping to whatever unhealthy coping skills you've developed to help you survive. You can and will get better. We're not broken people undeserving of love. You do have the power inside yourself to live a happier, productive life- whatever your version of that may be. I'm starting school in the fall to become a therapist myself bc I want to help others the way mine has helped me. You will accomplish great things in your life- we are NOT that 10% statistic 🖤🖤
i’ve never met you but i’m really proud of you. you’re gonna make an excellent therapist!
@@tyrennosaur what a great example of overcoming this illness she will be to others. I think that like being a drug and alcoholic counselor who once was an addict, the empathy from a former active BPD can truly understand and have compassion.
Thank you for your comment. It gives me hope. My sister was diagnosed with bpd and has been challenging for the family. She spiral down with alcohol, drugs and sex addiction and she was very close to get over dose or commit suicide several times. It's very difficult to put understand her my mom freaked out from a close call with an overdose and put her in rehab. The worst of it is that she has 2 boys and she is in no position to raise them. 😢😢😢
When she said "it's not something I have, it's something I am", and then followed up with "I'm broken", that hit so hard. It's the exact way I feel about my autism on bad days. However, with autism, I at least have the positive counterexample of the autism acceptance movement. On good days, I can look at my autism through a neurodiversity lens & frame it as "neurodivergence that has both drawbacks and benefits" rather than "something irreparably wrong with me". It feels like there isn't a similar positive counterexample for personality disorders: but maybe taking autism as an example and calling it "divergence" rather than "disorder" could be a step towards destigmatisation?
Another Autistic here, I felt that line as well. The "I'm broken" line I've felt in the past but haven't felt that way in quite awhile. I do see Autism as part of who I am not necessarily what I have. I don't see that as a bad thing just a different thing. Isn't BPD apart of neurodiversity as well? I thought it was but I could be mistaken
Lots of people classify BPD as coming under the neurodivergent umbrella and its been so so validating for me as a person with bpd
ur right, there are zero good role models for ppl w bpd. frankly… there isn’t much, if anything, good about having it. it’s fucked up and makes me feel awful about myself. frankly, especially after a ton of therapy, i’m my own role model.
@@morganburt2565 So glad she could be BPD rep for so many. It's so important especially to raise awareness and just have someone/something to relate to. I really like that you've become your own role model. That self-love is incredible!
Neurodivergency as a concept and as a movement is appliable to all psychological and neurological conditions. That's less because it lacks specificity, and more because the point of neurodivergency is that human beings are naturally different, the issue is some need specific types of support others might not need, and our society might stigmatize them even further because of our own notions of normalcy - which are made up social constructions - and our notions of functionality - which depend purely on what our economic and cultural systems "need" from us. It's useless to think of people as more or less normal, far more useful to find solutions on how to properly support those who need it most and can't have it. That's what neurodivergency means.
I know all of this because I'm a PhD student in communication, language and culture studies and I'm currently studying ASD representation! I'm also autistic. :p
Something i like about the writing of the show is that they wrote the character of rebecca without knowing what her diagnosis would be, it's after a while that people started to reach Rachel Bloom saying "hey she looks like she has BPD" and after consulting with professionals they decided for it to be her official diagnosis, it jas the effect of making her an actual character who happens to struggle with BPD instead of being used as the stereotype, paragon and whole role model of what a person with bpd should look like. This show is one of my favourites, not only for it's writing but mostly for the effort and respect shown to the subjects it chose to approach
It further shows how complex BPD is. Rebecca has many wonderful attributes. Plus she also is struggling in ways that need compassion. Plus, all the other characters are also flawed and aren't in any way perfect or without emotional issues! In short LIFE IS MESSY!
@@wendi2819 turns out life doesn't make narrative sense ^^'
I have BPD and when I watched this episode I had a feeling Rebecca had the same as me. I cried so much when they said she has BPD. CXG is my comfort blanket, whenever my BPD flares up, I watch this show and it makes me feel less alone and less broken. This show is a TRUE GEM.
"Stigma doesn't really come from the words it comes from the people and the..." YES, THANK YOU! As a disabled person I hear lots of suggested new terms for disabled people when as you say until people get comfortable with our existence and disability itself the word is just gonna keep being rethought
Within 6 months, Kids are gonna start saying "I think he's neurodivergent..... hahahHhahah" all as a joke. As we change the words, people will simply just change their jokes. It's a waste of time.
When I got diagnosed with borderline personality after years of being treated for depression, anxiety, etc. All I can think was that's the crazy mental illness. Every other woman that has killed her husband and her boyfriend has it. I'm going to turn out to be Jodi Arias or something. Eventually I learned to accept it, but to this day every time there's some sort of trial involving a woman doing some horrible crime, I hear the dreaded words, "psychiatrists suspect that the defendant may have borderline personality disorder", and then I want to scream ....
it’s such a fucked up disorder, speaking as someone who has it. like, on the inside i’m scared and just want certainty and stability, but on the outside i just come across as Bad and Immature.
people only see those murderers and it’s fucked up, not to mention those people that went that far were probably deeply untreated and could’ve lived better lives w access to treatment.
@@morganburt2565 you know, I honestly think that the worst part for me is knowing that that hole inside me, the one that makes me act so desperate and feel so out of control sometimes, will never really go away. I've spent my whole life looking for fulfillment outside myself, in a partner who would love me because my father never did. That empty feeling inside you never really goes away. You just learn how to deal with it, and you learn not to try to fill it with people or drugs or things. The second hardest thing I have to deal with is the impulsivity. I constantly struggle with not spewing my emotions out of my mouth the instant I feel them. I need to keep mindful constantly that I need to sit with things a minute so that I can be reasonable. I'm lucky that at least I have a good support system, especially after the whole covid thing where I was pretty isolated. Everybody has some sort of struggle in their lives. I mean, it could be much worse. I don't always feel that way, but it's true. You know
Yeah. I hate to say it could be a deal breaker in dating cause of it. Like what you said a lot of guys got killed by their women who have them. It’s scary. 😢
I really just want you reacting to EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of this show. I can't be alone in this. Dr. Elliot is just so thoughtful, and trustworthy, and has a sense of humor about what people go through, he's like a cogent support man!
Please do. Its such an amazing story
Wouldn't normally say this about a show based around mental health, but Rebecca's mix of stunned disappointment and sadness as she realizes that she's hit all nine entries on the BPD checklist is... way too real. It's the worst empty sensation to get question after question tossed your way and feel helpless as each of your answers is some version of "Yes". Bit of a personal take, but the worst part about my diagnosis was that I already knew what the criteria were related to thanks to other sources, and when my therapist started listing them off, my heart straight up broke halfway through and I got pissed off that it was too accurate. Might have even called her out and told her that I wanted to quit our sessions if that was the case.
Got to love the self-destruction of preparing for abandonment due to stigma by causing it yourself! Thank goodness she pushed back like she did.
The good news is that BPD can be treated with the right help, and it's nowhere near as hopeless of a diagnosis as it can feel in the moment. You just need a professional who's specifically trained in dealing with the sometimes extreme nature of it. Personally haven't started DBT yet, but too many people have talked highly of it to say that it doesn't work, so it's at least worth giving it a shot.
The fact that BPD/EUPD is still considered 'untreatable' is pretty strange to me, considering that of all cluster B personality disorders, histrionic and BPD/EUPD sound like they would be the easier ones to treat, or maybe the patient groups more likely to seek treatment.
It’s definitely treatable, there is potential to move from a fixed personality with a lot of practice rewiring the brain. It just takes time and constant reconditioning. Dialectical behavioral therapy is amazing. Even with a cptsd diagnosis and bpd, I worked my ass off for years and I am nothing like the bpd self I was my whole life. Everything has changed and I hope to keep learning to help others. It’s possible, the brain is malleable, just requires so much conditioning.
@@Saavycupcake that’s really wonderful to hear. Thank you for sharing, you’ve given me hope that I can get better too even if it takes me a long time. I’m glad you’ve gotten to a better place, I know it took a lot of work and I hope you’re proud of yourself ☺️
It's ridiculous when you look at the success rates of DBT.
The show puts a lot of nuance on that - Rebecca asks Doctor Internet and gets that "untreatable" reaction, but Dr. Damn definitely considers her BPD to be treatable.
"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink", the reason isn't that DBT isn't effective, it's that the "stigma" is entirely justified. Most people with BPD are hyper narcissistic, extremely manipulative, antisocial, anti-authority, manchilden, professional victim crypto-sociopaths who usually only engage with therapy, to justify their own eternal victim complex and provide a justifying excuse for their horrific, abusive, insane behaviour. This is one of the main reasons that therapists won't even try treat BPD, the vast majority of their BPD patients are just looking for that victim reaffirming excuse and will drop out the moment they get it, or even worse, start screwing around with the therapists lives for a laugh.
I’m in love with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and how they deal with everything. As a person with BPD I strongly suspected that Rebecca has it and was not surprised when the series got to this point. Some of her behaviour is a bit stereotypical, but I feel like that’s for the sake of comedy. I felt vicarious compassion while I watched how Rebecca was treated. Like you said, people with BPD don’t get a lot of that and it was quite emotional for me. I’m in the UK and find that people outside of the medical profession still generally call it BPD, I find Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder hilarious, it sounds made up, which I guess all names for things are. My psychology lecturers still refer to it as BPD, which isn’t a great name either, but they know less about BPD than I do so I’ll let them off. I love how introspective Rebecca can be and ultimately where the series ends up. I’m a queer musical theatre nerd, so this show is perfect for me.
As to the stereotypical nature ofhher behavior, I remember an interview of Rachel Bloom saying that they actually worked backwards with Rebecca's symptoms: they started following the narratives tropes for a rom com protagonist (the love triangles, stalking Josh, etc.), and then actually asked real consultants on psychopathology what their diagnosis for such a person would be. I love that process, because the transition from Rebecca's romanticized view of the world to one more grounded in her mental health is also the transition of the audience, from a stereotypical view of what's "crazy" or "romantic" to something more nuanced.
That’s really interesting and makes a lot of sense.
@@bokarndiaye323 your comment makes it seem like they talked to those consultants earlier than they did. It wasn't until the planning for season 3 began that they started talking to psychological consultants about Rebecca's diagnosis.
@@ahumanbeingfromtheearth1502 That's what I meant by "following the tropes first" - although you're correct that it can make it seem like they had the idea to consult psychologists from the get go, which they didn't
@@bokarndiaye323
🤣 the irony
Huh, didn't realize Paula was a bit enabling with Rebecca. But augh! So excited to see more reactions to Crazy Ex-girlfriend. I hope you react to more of the songs, especially "This Session is Going to be Different", "Sexy French Depression", "The Darkness", and "You Stupid Bitch". Always interested in hearing what other psychiatrists think and react to CXGF
She is so enabling of Rebecca because she feels like she gets her worth from solving Rebecca’s problems, even the ones she causes
This show handles mental illness so well. As someone with anxiety and depression, it really hit me hard when she took the pills. I cried until I couldn't breathe. That episode would be a good one to look at.
I watched that episode with my adult daughter, and watching it and talking about it was honestly one of the most emotionally intense days we've had together.
I was originally thought to have bpd, was told I have "quiet eupd" , but further sessions showed I'm actually autistic and have complex ptsd. When I developed non-epileptic seizures, I again got the term bpd thrown around as an excuse to not treat me. Although I don't have bpd, I have felt the stigma as "you're just crazy and so you're faking everything".
There's no such thing as quiet bpd and most times "quiet bpd" is a misdiagnosed for either cptsd or adhd so I'm glad you got properly diagnosed.
I have OCD, Anorexia Nervosa, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder and am getting an ASD screening. This show was such a comfort to me, as it deals with mental illness perfectly. Thank you for watching more.
I wouldn't mind hearing you talk about other PD's, I'm currently seeking an avoidant diagnosis, and there isn't a lot of discussion about it compared to other personality disorders 😩
I feel you! I personally got diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder about 6 years ago. I hope you find what you need, take care buddy 💖
I got diagnosed with APD about five years ago, and the treatment has really helped me - especially compared to what felt like going in circles with therapists who were only focusing on what was assumed to be a typical case of burnout.
I had never heard of it before, and you never hear it talked about compared to some other personality disorders. Maybe it's not as "flashy" for TH-cam? I wonder.
I am beyond thrilled to see you react to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend again. The first video of yours that I watched was your reaction to "Anti-Depressants Are So Not A Big Deal". Obviously I immediately subscribed and binge watched all your videos.
What I love about this show is that it doesn't dumb things down for the audience, instead it encourages us to dig deep and analyze everything. On each re-watch I discover something new, like how they use the songs to clue us in on what she is thinking and feeling.
I honestly struggle with recommending specific episodes because they are all so good and vital to the story. The season 2 finale is what truly started the spiral that eventually led to her suicide attempt so I think that is a good episode to watch. During the entire episode you just want to reach through the screen and give Rebecca a big hug.
I've never seen Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, but I related so much to those emotions from her finding out she's been diagnosed with BPD, to then looking it up on the internet. The same thing happened to me in 2000. I went from relief that we were on the right track, to then opening up my Netscape browser and saying "Omg, I've just been given a scarlet letter".
In 2009, I was finally diagnosed correctly with Bipolar Disorder with borderline traits. That made perfect sense to me, because I definitely had some symptoms of borderline - it's just that the bipolar part was totally ignored.*
But what was so sad is that I was _relieved_ to be diagnosed with an objectively more difficult to treat disorder, because there's less stigma with bipolar than there is with BPD.
And this whole "BPD is difficult to treat" stigma is bs, imho. I went through DBT (a gold-standard treatment for BPD) from 2000-2002 and it was so, so helpful. Hell, it got me through another 7 years of untreated bipolar and an alcoholic relapse without my brain trying to kill me. Yeah, I'd say it works.
Honestly, I think everyone could benefit from DBT, lol. I mean, what's not to love? You learn mindfulness, emotional regulation, boundary setting, self-soothing techniques, radical acceptance, how to minimize black-and-white thinking, etc. Pretty sure everyone needs help with at least one of those 😅
* Now, 22 years after that initial diagnosis, it's changed to Bipolar, PTSD, & ADHD - but no borderline. Part of that is because DBT skills help. Another is that BPD symptoms tend to subside with age. Another is having a caring psychiatrist who's gone over my history in detail. Another is getting the correct treatment for the Bipolar. Another is being sober since 2010, which tends to help clear up the picture, lol. And another is that we know so much more about how brains work than we did in 2000.
I love this comment. Thank you for sharing this! And this show is my favourite show. I have seen a lot of shows that were good or great, but this one was the best. So real. Like no or so little flaws.
Watch the whole series from the beginning! They do so much in terms of Rebecca’s mental health journey as well as deconstructing stereotypes and cliches
Especially within the LGBT community
I am woman but the bisexuality of rebecca's boss has helped with my denials on my sexuality. Getting bi is on my Playlist
If you're interested in watching more Crazy Ex Girlfriend episodes, "I Need A Break" is a great one that involves things like relapses/setbacks in treatment (including what seems like a manic episode), as well as coming to terms with the need to let past self-destructive coping mechanisms to and instead commit to accepting help.
This is incredibly painful, in an incredibly cathartic way. Thank you again for not being stigmatizing.
One more: I think it would br interesting to look at how Valencia reacts to all this. I went through something similar and was being weirdly cavalier until the person was better. It hit me all at once and I literally collapsed sobbing in a parking lot. Different people have very different reactions.
One time I saw a doctor (multiple times) and when I got my discharge paperwork I’m flipping through and see my diagnosis is listed as autism spectrum disorder. If I hadn’t read the discharge summary I literally never would have known. I wasn’t supposed to have any follow up appointments with the doctor, and as far as I know she didn’t speak with my outpatient doctor. This has actually happened to me multiple times and I find it so strange.
I have never identified harder with a character on TV as I do with Rebecca. My latest review had "traits of EUPD" on one of the axis...axes? axies? *shrug* Thank you for explaining how easy it is to misdiagnose these conditions too. Just wish NHS waiting lists weren't so long when it comes to mental health.
I have a problem with just agreeing with experts without adding much, so I actually got misdiagnosed with BPD when what I have is OCD and ADHD. Seeing this episode is actually what put me on the path to getting a second opinion, since there was more disconnect between me and Rebecca's experience than I expected. I had never approached a psychiatrist about OCD or ADHD before and when I did, I actually had a more nuanced conversation. Before, I just wanted them to give me a label and some meds so I just assumed whatever they said was right, but I've realized that even if they're experts they can't know everything that's going on and may assume things because I don't speak up. I'm still working on this problem but I've become a lot more knowledgeable about my actual symptoms which makes it easier to talk to medical professionals.
The stigma associated with the naming of conditions really resonates with me, not just in mental health conditions but physical ones too such as a condition having the phraseology of being "benign" which can often feel condesending and invalidating of the pain that may be caused due to the more common useage beig that it's not serious rather than not caused by other conditions.
I spent years in crisis, in and out of inpatient psychiatric care before a psychiatrist finally had the idea to test me for BPD. The process for getting the diagnosis was overwhelming and drawn out but once I had it things finally started to get better. It was a huge relief to finally get some answers and understand all of my diagnoses. New Zealand has a DBT program for people with BPD which took 4 months on a waiting list to get into. It helped a little but my alcoholism kept getting the way so I had to move mountains to find the right program for me. Every day is still a battle but I’m doing so much better now and have been back working and functioning in society for 5 years. I am very fortunate that I haven’t experienced any stigma (I didn’t even know it existed), possibly because nobody seems to know much about it here, including a lot of the mental health professionals I’ve seen!
Happy for you!
Thank you for this video. I was diagnosed with BPD nearly 10 years ago and it’s so rare that I find a video that’s not super judgmental for those of us with this diagnosis. BPD is soooo misunderstood and while it would take a whole lot longer to truly get into what it is, this does a good job. BPD has horrible stigmas attached to it and this kinda helps clear some of those. Thank you!
I love how they handled BPD and the diagnosis in CEG. So well done. And honest and real.
Never seen bpd nailed so well besides Amelia Shepherd in Grey’s Anatomy but she’s never actually diagnosed.
Love the vid x love you xx Awesomeness
What. I'm processing and trying to think through this. I adore Amelia but I've never thought of Amelia in terms of BPD. I have thought of Allison on Pretty Little Liars in light of BPD... And Klaus on The Vampire Diaries and The Originals.
I just started thinking about Amelia more and I'm not sure i see how she has BPD. She isn't full of rage or other lashing out at others. She also isn't internally directing her reactions like with self harm. She seems like someone more likely to leave than a lot of people with BPD are, since they're so afraid of abandonment they will just cling harder not leave first.
Idk if i really see it. To me Amelia has ADHD and tons of trauma history and big feelings but i don't see the BPD really. Other than sure a fear of abandonment after having experienced so much of it already in her life.
I had a dx of BPD when underweight. I moved to a new psych who claimed it was unethical as my personality was masked by my low weight (due to anorexia) I've not a diagnosis as autistic.
When I had the dx of BPD i was denied physical health care for pain managment and other things. I found it closed doors and gave staff an excuse to claim I didnt need help or hospital care when in crisis. I ended up being admited and discharged within 24hrs only to get readmitted. I really benefitted from longer stays
YESS you're doing a full episode :D
As someone with BPD, MDD and PTSD, I really appreciate the way that you approached this episode and acknowledged the aspects of psychiatry and psychology that need to change when addressing BPD! 👍🏻 I really related to the scene where she Googles her diagnosis and is totally overwhelmed by the stigma and negative prognosis that makeup the majority of info surrounding this disorder. It's too much to take in. It makes your outlook going forward seem hopeless. That being said, I thought your references to hope, hope, hope we're entirely fitting and appreciated.
I watched this show and in real time was shocked by her diagnosis because i have never felt so connected to a character. i have been diagnosed previously with depression, general anxiety disorder, adhd, insomnia, and bipolar disorder so watching her struggles and new diagnosis really makes me wonder if thats something i could have. but there isn't any mental health professionals in my area that i can see at all
People move to a new city to be closer to good treatment options for a physical illness all the time, and I wish mental illnesses were commonly seen that same way. I completely understand if it's economically or otherwise impossible for you to move, but I hope it's an option you've seriously considered and could find support for. In this decade, there are also increasingly helpful options for remote therapy, another thing I hope you're able to seriously consider.
As someone who’s watched CXGF maybe 4 times now, I could watch you speak about this show for years. I love your take on it as a professional!
I will throw all my money into getting you to do more full episodes of this show because its gold and your reactions are too.
I hardcore related to Rebecca in the wanting my Psychologist to tell me the Psychiatrist was wrong and mean (simply because he did his job) and I have actually ghosted my Psychiatrist because BPD is such a daunting diagnosis
I'm so glad to see your reactions to this show! I think it's one of the better pieces of media about mental illness.
Diagnosis like this can be so bizarre. I had suspected I had BPD for months before my diagnosis but I still spiraled and panicked the way she did the second it was real
It was strange, my diagnosis of BPD actually gave me a lot of hope, because for years I was being treated for depression and anxiety with no improvement. Every time I tried to suggest there was something else going on, I was dismissed. When I finally got my diagnosis, I felt for the first time like I knew what I was dealing with and had hope. It explained why meds weren’t working, why typical therapy wasn’t working despite hard work on my part. It helped me make sense of my experiences and gave me a direction to move forward with treatment.
Fun/interesting fact: When Rebecca says to the doctor -something like- "So I'm not depressed, or bipolar, or OCD, as I've been told so many times?", it's probably a nod to the fact that the actress who plays her, Rachel Bloom (who is also the co-creator of the show), actually has OCD, and that's part of her reason to create this show.
BPD is horrible but you can recover from it. 7 yrs ago when i was diagnosed with it i had all the criteria for the condition. Now, after lots of therapy i only have traits. My emotions are still intense but armed with adaptive coping skills and tons of insight i manage it well enough to go back to work after 5 years. I never thought id work again. Having a job is good for your mental health 😊
I got misdiagnosed with BPD. I definitely had a stream of people leave me in life and I expected them to leave for reasons I could not explain. Turns out I have ASD, ADHD, developmental trauma, and have symptoms of alexithymia.
The main reason why I suspected it was wrong was because I actually feel safer and more comfortable being in my own company than around others. It also didn't explain why I couldn't figure out how people felt (or how I feel for that matter) as easily as they expected me to or how people just knew how they felt.
I couldn’t continue watching this show and I’m grateful to see your reaction to this aspect of it.
I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and while the diagnosis itself was painful to receive it also made a lot of sense. Oddly enough it was the therapist I was seeing at the time who invalidated the diagnosis … even bringing in the DSM at one point to walk through the criteria. To be fair they were graduate students, and it still made accepting this diagnosis that much more difficult. Thankfully, I am more versed now in sifting through clinicians to find outpatient treatment teams who are supportive.
It’s a funky set of symptoms AND I’ve noticed so much relief through independently learning DBT skills when I didn’t have access to a program, surrounding myself with positive people, and staying in treatment.
As someone in a language-related profession, I love that you called out what happens when you change the words but not what people have been doing with those words.
I have BPD and I was difficult to treat. I was dishonest and manipulative with my professionals. It was difficult for them to figure out when I was actually a danger to myself and when I was not, because I had told them many times I was suicidal when I wanted something from them, but it just was manipulation. So when I was actually suicidal and told them I needed to be admitted or I wouldn't make the end of the day, they didn't take it seriously. I stood on a bridge but police talked me down and I wanted to accept help then. But they arrested me harshly and put me in a cell for hours till the psychiatrist arrived to evaluate me. Those hours were traumatizing and made me switch back to no, I don't want help if this is what help looks like. Every cop there was annoyed with me, making me feel even more guilty about being alive and being a bother. So I decided I had to get out ASAP so I could kill myself properly. I had hours to prepare and to calm down. Manipulated the psychiatrist into thinking I was fine to go home, so he let me go. A few hours later I actually jumped from the same bridge and broke my neck and back. Fun times. Partly paralyzed, years of recovery. But the intense therapy in the rehabilitation home I was in for 6 months helped me. It's been years and my BPD is under control. I actually do not experience all symptoms anymore, it's less than 5. If I would get diagnosed now, it wouldn't be with BPD. So am I cured? No, it's a personality disorder, it's always somewhere in there. But I got so much tools and behaviour modification to deal, and overtime my feelings changed to the learned 'right' behaviours. I don't experience many off the BPD extreme feelings anymore. I had crazy abandonment issues, crazy money spending, impulsivity, jealousy etc. Those are all gone. When my friend just texts me OK as an answer I don't go into the rabbit hole anymore of 'why is she answering with only OK? Is she mad with me? Did I do something? Doesnt she like me anymore? Is there someone else?' etc. It just doesn't cross my mind anymore. I do battle anxiety still, but I'm not depressed anymore, I don't self harm, I don't explode with anger. I'm actually really happy. And I've never been happy. But treatment only had effect when accepted my diagnosis and was honest with the professionals. But before I could do that I had to be honest with myself first. No more hiding behind lies I thought or told myself and also believed. And it helped that the friends I was co dependent off kinda left me to my own devices after that. They just couldn't cope anymore. But it forced me to stop relying on them and to stop manipulate and mentally abuse them. There was a consequence to my actions. I finally saw how much I hurt them and that it wasn't them being toxic, but that it was me.
As a psychodynamic therapist, this has been amazing to see. When I got my Bipolar 2 diagnosis, I went through similar panic. This was a lovely episode of CEG. I know I am not the behaviorist some people are but we also do good work.
Splitting and Transference is true for all of us...
Thanks for talking about borderline, my aunt has it and she's one of the family members I'm closest to.
I must chime in that also- as a script, Rebecca is supposed to be able to tolerate and accept herself with BPD, to give representation for people with BPD to realize that they are allowed to accept themselves, rather than digging themselves into an even deeper hole of dispair that they already might have.
Wonderful video, Elliot!
We see you stanning Raja in the background.. And we support our legendary queens!
Definitely I've met some psychiatrists who I wish would watch this episode, if not the whole show. I had one who tried to diagnose me with BPD several years ago and when I asked her reasoning she said it was because I cried in her office. She was my psychiatrist.
I only even found out that she is diagnosed me because all of my doctors suddenly treated me like crap and I couldn't figure out why, and then my therapist pointed out that BPD was in my problem list. I asked for a second opinion and she wouldn't refer me, so I ended up having to go to the patient advocate. This was at a VA hospital.
The patient advocate got me a second opinion from a diagnostic professional, but the psychiatrist who had diagnosed me insisted on sitting in on my appointment with him. I went ahead and showed him the full scale psychological batteries that I've had in my life, briefly explained my life history and why I had "incidents" in the past. He said during the appointment that in his professional opinion I did not have BPD, and she tried to argue with him. She kept trying to convince him that he needed to go home and think about it overnight before making a decision. He shut her down and said that he already had made his decision and luckily I didn't have to see her again. They also took it off of my problem list.
Now I am diagnosed with bipolar 1, ADHD, and PTSD/CPTSD, and looking into an autism diagnosis. I also have fetal alcohol spectrum disorder though, so that might be the source of a lot of stuff, most mental health professionals don't seem to know how to deal with that at all.
My psych teacher diagnosed me with bpd because I was homeless and told him I don't feel any stability or security... BECAUSE I WAS HOMELESS. Somehow he managed to convince me I had bpd. After I was properly "diagnosed" as either adhd or adhd with cptsd and treated with Concerta I immediately understood what I needed to properly function. When I confronted him he played dumb saying that he never diagnosed people with bpd in such young ages (I was just 18) until 22-24 years old depending on severity. Big lie I ended up finding out. He was teaching at least OK things, so maybe us future docs will do as we were told not as they did.
Crazy ex girlfriend hits hard. I grew up with a toxic/narcissist mother so even if i don't have bdp disorder i am feel seen in media. In the end crazy ex girlfriend helped me to understand my bisexuality and I understand more my brother, who got diagnosed as bpd.
The stigma around EUPD/BPD is terrible. Here in the UK I was told by a psychiatrist that they were "surprised" I hadn't been "misdiagnosed as having BPD", and inferring that if I continued to ask for help for my problems with dissociation and memory loss, that mis(!)diagnosis was a possibility.
I ended up discharged from the NHS mental health team instead as I dropped the issue, and thankfully was able to get therapy privately with a clinical psychologist who helped me deal with the worst of my dissociation (stemming from cPTSD and lifelong severe depression).
EUPD is very much weaponised as a diagnosis to give to anyone a psychiatrist would rather not deal with it seems, and you're left either with no help because you leave, or no help because you end up with the wrong diagnosis.
I've been in and out of the NHS for my mental health for about 15 years now, and it feels like it has gotten so much worse. Mostly due to cuts, but older psychiatrists like that certainly don't help.
I think you meant "the situation's a lot more nuanced than that"
Having seen CXG before, it was entertaining seeing you predict what was going to happen in the clips shortly before they happened!
11:30 that black and white thinking is so hard to get passed. I thought that I've been doing better with not doing black and white thinking but my last session with my therapist, it was made obvious that I still have that perspective on not just my relationships but on life in general
you should watch "Please Like Me" and "Everything's Gonna Be Okay" they are both shows produced by Josh Thomas who is a gay man recently diagnosed with autism and he's starring in both, they are such awesome shows. Crazy Ex Girlfriend is one of my favorite shows with these two.
In Please Like Me, Josh Thomas is playing the main character whose name is Josh, lol. Josh's mom in the show has bipolar disorder and is attempting suicide in the first episode. The show is so hilarious and touching at the same time, I have seen no other like it. There are so many scenes that are just beautiful and so much to laugh about, I'm crying just thinking about it because I am a very depressed lesbian.
I like the new background and Raja (Roger) 😜
I've suspected my mom has BPD for a really long time. I don't think she will seek treatment though 🥺 It's incredibly frustrating and triggers codependency behaviors in me that I've been trying to correct.
I’m 18 and I was misdiagnosed with O.D.D. ,I.E.D. ,O.C.D, major depressive disorder suspected bipolar suspected ADHD developmental delays, personality disorders. Final diagnosis at 18 years old Autism spectrum disorder I had developmental delays no social skills hated people sensory issues anger issues constantly bullied all of my life even my psychiatrist went how didn’t someone see this it is so obvious.
Ive always been a bit frightened to watch this show because ive been unfortunately emotionally abused by a partner who had bpd and i..... always worry about bpd being used as an /excuse/ for what she did to me 😅 i have nothing against bpd but it was always used as a scapegoat for the manipulation and so maybe im illogically frightened of them
That's a fair concern. Rebecca is the protagonist and gets away with a lot of immoral and even criminal behavior, much the way TV comedy protagonists always do. A lot of people watching this show are impressed with how complex Rebecca's character is, and how the show does not excuse or forgive her bad behavior, but continues to empathize with her as a struggling person.
For you, it might be enough to watch the song "I'm a Good Person" (legally available from The CW here on TH-cam). If you want to watch a series about how that character goes from angrily demanding to be seen as "Good" towards helpfully doing the work to actually be more good, you might enjoy this show.
Also, Dr. Akopian was my dream therapist. (I've thankfully finally found a real one who works well for me.)
When I got my diagnosis I was really happy because it validated everything I had been feeling and experiencing. Now after almost two years of treatment I'm in a much, much better place ❤
YES I love your takes on crazy ex girlfriend. Would love live streams!
amazing breakdown, really clear and understandable! Only opinion i split on is i've never been truly "diagnosed", my clinical psychologist just advised what she thought may fit and booked me into the relevant treatment to see if it helped, then adjusted. Which kinda makes sense, there's so much crossover in diagnoses and although you may not HAVE something, a coping method still may work for you!
I love CXG and I love your reactions to it. I hope you react to "The Darkness" (and the entire episode the song was featured) when Rebecca falls back into her bad habits after she thought she had everything together.
I love the new set up in the house Doctor Elliot!
my sibling has BPD and I've been trying to understand her better for years now. If there are any books you can recommend, please let me know (that goes for anyone). I've read 'I hate you, don't leave me' and that's pretty much it (it was all I could find at a local bookstore).
This is really interesting though. I had no idea this show had such well-informed representation of someone with BPD, I'll definitely be checking it out now
I love that you're doing another video on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend given it's one of my favorite shows, but I keep finding myself distracted by Auntie Roger looking stunning in the background
I never got round to watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (i watched the first episode and quit) but damn, her talking about the reasoning for trying to end things feels so real and relatable and exactly how i would describe my own feelings
If you do another episode of Crazy Ex Girlfriend I would suggest Season 4 Episode 12 "I Need a Break". I think it would be very interested to get your analysis
Is that the Greg, water slide one?
SO Relatable! I got diagnosed with BPD at the beginning of 2021 after years of on again off again therapy with a different psychologist where I had not been correctly diagnosed (despite meeting all 9 on the list), even after being hospitalised. I was glad when I got my diagnosis and everything made sense. Spent over a year in weekly therapy beginning at the start of 2021. Out in the wild trying out what I have learnt. It isn't going perfectly, my father died abroad 10 days before my birthday in November 2021. With the help of medication prescribed by an *amazing* psychiatrist, who I was lucky enough to become a patient of, I have been able to hold down a job and am moving along in my career. There is hope. It won't be perfect and the road is longer than you sometimes think and sometimes it feels like there is no end in sight. However, if you truly want to get better there is help. Unfortunately help is not attainable to a lot of people, so if you have the option to get help, that is a privilege and you should be pulling every lever possible in your recovery. Getting the correct help is so important.
i LOVE that you’re reacting to cxg again!!! i just had to pause and comment about the rpdr background picture or i wouldn’t focus on the video hahaha
I would absolutely love to receive this kind of mental health care!!! But sadly after a crisis I just get sent home with numbers to call to look for therapy. Maybe they have amazing treatment in West Covina but this is totally unrealistic in my experience
The show is certainly unrealistic in this and many other ways (it matters a lot that money isn't a real issue for Rebecca), and it really sucks that most people with a challenge to their mental health (and many people with a challenge to their physical health) have to take a second full time unpaid job as an advocate for themselves. You deserve the health care you are not getting, and I really hope you manage to find a path towards it.
After watching your previous video about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, I watched the first two seasons and absolutely loved it. Sadly, I'd already canceled my Netflix subscription by then and I only had two weeks to watch as much as I could. I wasn't able to binge it like other shows, because I found I had some strong emotional reactions to a lot of what happened in Rebecca's life. I live with EUPD/BPD and OCPD, and I found it very distressing to watch Rebecca's more impulsive actions. I could identify with her impulses to act, but then my inner controller (OCPD) would kick in and shame Rebecca (and me) for her actions. It was really tough but I learned a lot about myself in the process.
I was diagnozed with EUPD and OCPD about five years ago, and for me the dx came as a relief. It explained why I struggled with so many things in my life. With the help of therapy and meds, my life has improved so much, and I've even begun to see my emotional sensitivity as a positive thing sometimes. My symptoms got worse after my mother died about a year ago, though, and now I'm waiting for an appointment with a psychiatrist to see what we could do to help me. My mental health nurse recommended a book based on DBT, and I found it super helpful. It has helped me navigate through layers of emotions and thoughts. I'm hoping to get to talk to a DBT specialist some day.
Please react more of this amazing show, I love Rebecca and I love Rachel Bloom for creating her ❤
The Diagnosis song always hits me hard because after years I feel like I still don't know what's going on. And I wish I had that. Man, CXG was so fucking good.
yay I'm so pleased you've covered this!!!
13:59 yes it's more nuanced but the therapist here is only demonstrating that the main character has these symptoms. She's already made her diagnosis.
I'd love if you reacted to Shameless US, they handle a lot including addictions, bipolar, trauma and the LGBTQ+ community
love watching your reacts! another interesting show might be shameless, they have a lot of characters with different mental illnesses so plenty of stuff to react to
When the doc was reading out the symptoms, I had Rachel's reaction. I always felt I'm so much like her but then I was like damn this is getting real. So I went to a psychologist and I got diagnosed with bpd as well
I am so glad you talked about how meds aren't the end all be all. They do help but they are the assist not the cure.
Just before Paula and Rebecca barge in on Dr. Akopian, she is trying to talk to Kevin about how he mentioned last week that his mother shot his father in cold blood in front of him on his birthday. Then he says he's moved passed it and he's happy all the time and walks out submitting the room to Rebecca. I still wonder sometimes about that.
This is Kevin, the manager of the bar that Greg and Heather used to work at.
Crazy ex girlfriend is so good at talking about mental health
love this video and also omg mother Raja in the back!! 😂
One of my biggest core beliefs is centered around abandonment, my countless experiences with it, and my ever-looming fear of it. After 38 years, I've adapted a lifestyle that just pares down all of my interactions and relationships into pure necessity (i.e. doctors, therapists) in order to avoid abandonment. For years I was convinced I had BPD (and even had a diagnosis along the way) but was recently told by a therapist that she doesn't think that's what I have.
Dr, is FoA a specific hallmark of any other disorders or just a common symptom of a lot of things?
Fear of abandonment sounds like it could also be part of rejection sensitivity dysphoria, which is commonly a big part of ADHD and is a trauma response to being bullied/rejected a lot by peers in childhood. From what I've seen, I think the big difference is that people with BPD tend to typically have unstable relationships and an unstable sense of self (talking about "I don't know who I am" or "I feel empty") whereas people with ADHD typically have a strong sense of self and stable relationships with most people, but heightened emotional responses (lots of tears, but fewer breakups).
OMG NOT RAJA IN THE BACKGORUND I love her sm 🥲
The picture of Raja in the background! I'm dying 😂
how can I be a better friend and support the person I love without acting like Paula and dismiss the diagnosis?
Thank you for this episode!
mother Raja in the background, a slay
Okay so now I really gotta see if I can get someone to take my concerns seriously
Like watching this series, I learned about BPD for the first time and also got me to research. For the first time I had an idea of what it might be
But I also have been struggling with am I ADHD or am I on the Autism spectrum (which not only being female tends to not be diagnosed but I wasn't allowed to seek mental help)
But then you just pointed out that BPD tends to get labeled as being one or both of the others and I just...
Yeah I really gotta get to the doctor
Rebecca expresses and vocalizes so much of what I thought I was just crazy for feeling or thinking. It just felt so amazing to feel so seen. Even if she did things I was screaming not to even though I've definitely thought it
Please react to comedians talking about mental health, Taylor Tomlinson has bipolar and she talks a lot about this
I have BPD and loved how they did this
I’m curious about your take on never have I ever on Netflix. It’s about teenager girl going through greif it’s a comedy written by mindy kaling.
Paula needed therapy as well 🤦🏾♀️
I love your reacts but I truly deeply fricking LOVE when it's crazy ex girlfriend vídeos 💖
You are looking SOOO pretty in this video Elliott!!
Yay!!!! I love me some CXG!
You should definitely watch the song the darkness too.