When she (quoted Gottman) said 1:08:53 it didn’t matter what they believed, just as long as men learned how to convey honor and respect to their wives- Yes! But that’s the kicker when most complementarían literature describes men as needling respect while women only need love. I think that is what a functional egalitarian marriage is- both partners treating each other with honor and respect. ❤
@@HJM0409 I agree. The “men need respect, women need love” paradigm is one of the most persistent falsehoods in Christian teachings on marriage. I have a theory that couples who are naturally compatible with each other tend to be “functionally egalitarian”, even if they profess a belief in male headship. I think it’s the couples who struggle to relate to one another who actively apply an authority/submission program, hoping it will fix things. My evidence is anecdotal and speculative, but that’s my theory.
Something that is rather interesting, is how similar the responses of men in super feminist cultures are to women in hyper- patriarchal churches and environments. "Why are you suffocating me? Why am I always the bad guy?" Feelings of being beaten down, not esteemed or regarded, and a loss of purpose are common in both. So people often become reactionary and become Andrew Tate apologists or third wave feminists. Its almost like if we just held one another in high regard, and edified one another as image bearers regardless of gender than people thrive. Its so sad how bad we are at this.
🥰🥰🥰 While I do that this was beautifully redemptive and a gentle gathering/ rebuke of modern culture (including the church), I also think there was a somewhat missing of the barriers to women excelling in certain areas. Meaning the reason why women are/were not historically in certain fields of society was not just bc of “lack of time”. It was also bc many (not all) men, have repressed women and/or taken credit for their work. Also, I wonder how this works if we view this in light of many other cultures. Nevertheless, I REALLY enjoyed this interview, deeply agree with most of the points and am looking forward to reading the book 🫡
Thank you for zeroing in on Pearcey's comments on why it has been primarily men who have done the public work of society-building. The substance you added is true, and important to the conversation. To speak more to her point on women's time, it's fair to say that the amount of time a mother has to participate in broader societal work is directly dependent on how involved a father is in the hands-on care of their children and their home. It's true that pregnancy and breast-feeding are specific to mothering, but so many other aspects of parenting are not...unless one's gender ideology determines them to be. I don't want to be too quick to critique Pearcey since I haven't read the book, but this point, like many of her points, was frustratingly simplified, and I found myself longing for more unpacking and nuance.
@@Wren_Farthingyes! I was trying to be gracious bc I truly think she is trying to speak to the imago Dei in us all (especially men). And she is being as gracious as possible. She even alluded to it when speaking about Martin Luther’s wife.
@@HonestLeighSpeaking I deduced from this conversation that Pearcey is a proponent of gender hierarchy theology, which I am a critic of, so perhaps my bias blinded me to some of her graciousness. But, her words on Luther’s wife did stand out as a positive.
I found this interview really interesting, thank you! The concept of when moral authority shifted and why being a SAHM in this day and age is so unfulfilling is great food for thought! I do take issue with her approach to comp vs egal though. I don’t know how she can justify not defining those terms if we are seeking to find out exactly what makes a good marriage. That’s nonsensical to me. Bare Marriage did a deep dive on this aspect of her book a little while back. th-cam.com/video/waqwrRy69_c/w-d-xo.htmlsi=VDK_2Gp8l-3LjpJJ
When she (quoted Gottman) said 1:08:53 it didn’t matter what they believed, just as long as men learned how to convey honor and respect to their wives-
Yes! But that’s the kicker when most complementarían literature describes men as needling respect while women only need love.
I think that is what a functional egalitarian marriage is- both partners treating each other with honor and respect. ❤
@@HJM0409 I agree. The “men need respect, women need love” paradigm is one of the most persistent falsehoods in Christian teachings on marriage.
I have a theory that couples who are naturally compatible with each other tend to be “functionally egalitarian”, even if they profess a belief in male headship. I think it’s the couples who struggle to relate to one another who actively apply an authority/submission program, hoping it will fix things. My evidence is anecdotal and speculative, but that’s my theory.
Yeah, it kinda does matter when what people say they believe isn’t actually what they act out. 🤦♀️
Something that is rather interesting, is how similar the responses of men in super feminist cultures are to women in hyper- patriarchal churches and environments. "Why are you suffocating me? Why am I always the bad guy?" Feelings of being beaten down, not esteemed or regarded, and a loss of purpose are common in both. So people often become reactionary and become Andrew Tate apologists or third wave feminists.
Its almost like if we just held one another in high regard, and edified one another as image bearers regardless of gender than people thrive. Its so sad how bad we are at this.
So much to process and share
You Crushed this interview .really appreciated the balance and tone
Thank you
🥰🥰🥰
While I do that this was beautifully redemptive and a gentle gathering/ rebuke of modern culture (including the church), I also think there was a somewhat missing of the barriers to women excelling in certain areas. Meaning the reason why women are/were not historically in certain fields of society was not just bc of “lack of time”. It was also bc many (not all) men, have repressed women and/or taken credit for their work.
Also, I wonder how this works if we view this in light of many other cultures. Nevertheless, I REALLY enjoyed this interview, deeply agree with most of the points and am looking forward to reading the book 🫡
Thank you for zeroing in on Pearcey's comments on why it has been primarily men who have done the public work of society-building. The substance you added is true, and important to the conversation.
To speak more to her point on women's time, it's fair to say that the amount of time a mother has to participate in broader societal work is directly dependent on how involved a father is in the hands-on care of their children and their home. It's true that pregnancy and breast-feeding are specific to mothering, but so many other aspects of parenting are not...unless one's gender ideology determines them to be.
I don't want to be too quick to critique Pearcey since I haven't read the book, but this point, like many of her points, was frustratingly simplified, and I found myself longing for more unpacking and nuance.
@@Wren_FarthingSheila at Bare Marriage did a great job of unpacking Pearcey's book.
@@Wren_Farthingyes! I was trying to be gracious bc I truly think she is trying to speak to the imago Dei in us all (especially men). And she is being as gracious as possible. She even alluded to it when speaking about Martin Luther’s wife.
@@HonestLeighSpeaking I deduced from this conversation that Pearcey is a proponent of gender hierarchy theology, which I am a critic of, so perhaps my bias blinded me to some of her graciousness. But, her words on Luther’s wife did stand out as a positive.
I found this interview really interesting, thank you! The concept of when moral authority shifted and why being a SAHM in this day and age is so unfulfilling is great food for thought!
I do take issue with her approach to comp vs egal though. I don’t know how she can justify not defining those terms if we are seeking to find out exactly what makes a good marriage. That’s nonsensical to me. Bare Marriage did a deep dive on this aspect of her book a little while back.
th-cam.com/video/waqwrRy69_c/w-d-xo.htmlsi=VDK_2Gp8l-3LjpJJ
I'm surprised he had her on his podcast, when he's been on Bare Marriage. But I'm curious, so here I am.
Also, that was a good episode of BM. 💜
@@audreynicholson3066 the stats episodes are always very good.